To me this hard wig, soft life trend is 1. lowkey bullying; just a new insult disguised as a joke. and 2. A testament to how much value the black "community" put on black women's hair and apperance. There is always something we must do for acceptance, just to have the goal post moved again.
I defintely agree with you, and sometimes it feels like jealousy too. i came across a video of a black woman doing one of those street interview house tours, and the comment section was filled with other black women saying "I know her husband is white from her wig". this woman was showing off a very beautiful home yet they were focused on her wig, it made me sick to my stomach.
It's not bullying sometimes black people who are only around white people live in denial about everything. Being around white people is a fantasy thing and if your hair looks that bad than maybe it's a reality check.
I think white men pay less attention to women’s hair in general. Unless it smells bad or has things crawling in it they don’t notice whether it looks good or bad.
@@AshleyNeco-pi8pyOK, maybe they notice if they’re a hairdresser by profession, but there’s an actual running joke about how long it takes for white men to notice when their wife has done something different with her hair. Culturally there’s just not as much emphasis on it outside of formal events.
I have experienced that when I date black men, they want me to wear my hair straight so I can look more European. When I date white guys, it's the opposite; they love my huge afro and any natural style I have; they don't try to push me to be anything I am not.
@@tintamanengubecause white men can find straight hair on white girls. Why would you change yourself if he loves you for you? Black men hate themselves, and so by extension black women. It’s pretty simple.
@@tintamanengu It’s self hate unfortunately and the funny thing is AA’s say we wear wigs bc we have to due to the whole hair policy but many white people look at lace fronts and extreme extensions as comical and ghetto on us. They love our natural hair especially if the braids are grown out lol which cannot fly in AA society. Everything has to be fried, dyed and layed to the side or you can risk being bullied or ostracised or that’s atleast my experience from even going to an hbcu and many black spaces.
same girl same my hubby can't tell the difference when my hair is laid or lazy and I love it. No matter what it looks like he always calls me beautiful, i may get annoyed when I'm trying to get a style down and my hair is the op but just knowing he loves my hair in it's natural state makes me feel seen and worthy.
When I worked in hospitality and retail I wore my natural hair and mainly white men asked me out. They were usually men 35 plus, who dressed well and approached me with phenomenal manners. On the rare occasion that a black man would ask me out, he was usually African😂
i find non black partners tend to like the natural look, and date women that either have that look, or encourages it during the relationship. So she doesn't feel the need to spend huge amounts of money on wigs on stuff. That's what it's been in my experience anyway
I absolutely agree. I have dated white men and they seem to be the most appreciative and in awe of my features and hair. I love it. It used to make me uncomfortable because I thought they were trying too hard to compliment me because I am Black. But nahh my ex boyfriend would emerge his face into my curls like it was a field of flowers. Just find men who love and appreciate u for u, not what they think u should look like❤️
its the fact we have more racism in our community surrounding dating then white people do when they date black people... i see so many black women with slayed hair who are dating men AND got the white men looking right too
I just recently learned something. A cultural difference i guess. Volume in hair. It's one of the reasons to why white people compliment our braids when there's new growth. Hard wigs have volume by the roots. I guess in a way, it plays a part to their attraction to it rather than when it flat. But normally men especially white men don't pay attention to a (black) woman's hair unless she has an afro. They really love the afro
My husband is white and we live in Oregon. There is no black people where we live. I use to live in Virginia and there is black people everywhere!😂 No black people equals no black salons. I’ve learned to do my own braids, twists, trims and all. At the end of the day, my man doesn’t care about my hair no matter what it looks like he thinks I look beautiful all the time. I’m so appreciative of how I can just look a mess and him not care or even know that my hair is not to my standards sometimes.😂
I plan on making a video on this. I feel black men need to step up, cause it's embarrassing black women are more themselves with people from another race.
Black men need to step up to what? We been telling yall for like 50 years we prefer you natural. Youve made it a point to wear wigs and weaves in an attempt to assimilate. White men dont care about yall hair because yall bend over backwards to please them and they rejects from their own community and they are satisfied to finally have a submissive regardless of your hair.
I’m a black woman married to a white man and in my experience- WM don’t care much about hair but if you happen to be natural, they sure tend to LOVE it. My husband actively celebrates my afro and was the first person to tell me I look beautiful with my natural hair. He gave me the courage to fully embrace my hair and I remember my 1st work event I finally worked up the courage to wear my natural hair and warned my WM boss ahead of time. When I showed up my boss glanced at me- said my hair looks great so what was I worried about again? I laughed and explained a bit about black women and our hair. He shrugged and said he didn’t hire me for my hair anyways so feel free to wear it however I please lol
Personally, I think it’s because black men always talking down on weaves/wigs, so BW feel lowkey pressured to have their hair laid around BM. But WM don’t really get the wig/weave controversy. It’s not as much of a deal breaker to the WM because to them it’s just hair ? They don’t really care about the wig either because they understand it’s like clip-ins for white women and hair dye, etc. It’s for the style. Plus they kinda always wanna see it because it looks nice. Black women dating white men don’t feel pressured to always have laid edges and relaxed hair. They can be comfortable without worrying too much about their hair because the WM understands it’s literally just hair.
Black women thinking their hair has to be laid and look a certain way to be acceptable is the problem here. It's a shame black women tend to feel more comfortable with their natural hair when the date outside their race.
I think its two things: A: White Men love Black Women, its just facts we do! I love Black Hair because its supposed to be natural!! And B: just like the Woman said, often times when marrying into a White community they dont know how to do Black hair and often lack Black salons and beauty supply stores.
I’ve noticed from living in a more upscale White City that many white guys like active women. So a woman with extra long nails, new hairstyles that can’t be sweated out and overly expensive taste usually are not prioritised by them black or white . I think that’s more of a broke man/new money thing or even years into marriage. Young upwardly mobile healthy men want to do adventurous stuff on the weekend like kayaking, the white water center, hiking, festivals etc and don’t want you worrying about if your lace is melted.. takes the fun out of things. GENERALLY SPEAKING ofc it’s just something I’ve noticed
I think it's because when you get in a relationship you seek what you lack in others and so like that's why you know that's y'all have such an amazing hair textures and just beautiful naturally hair I can see how someone have another race would date someone like you and I want you to just let that natural beauty shine
I love that im with a white man who doesnt police my hair and always tells me he likes it no matter how its done. And it is insult disguised as a joke but hey, when u comfortable and happy frfr its okay to laugh at the truth.
I looooove Dem and Ika. And she definitely doesn't look like she's the stereotype of someone dating a whote person. Her hair is perfection though I know she's joking in the video. Also whitw guys actually appreciate natural hair and as a black person who is attracted to white guys it would make me melt to have them do my hair. I can do it but I'm also lazy 😂😂😂
Disclaimer: I married a white man, so maybe I'm in the hard wig/ soft life demographic *eyeroll* I'll say this-as someone who has lived outside of Black communities (and often feels isolated by them when I do try to participate), I've been hyper-vigilant about my hair since I was a child. My mom gave me my first relaxer when I was a toddler, so I couldn't even tell you what the texture was like as a kid. This led to me feeling like straight = good, together, acceptable for the public. On top of this, I was literally terrified of getting braids. I didn't want to be perceived as "too Black" because I was going to predominantly white schools. As I got older, I realized that I was manipulating my hair to death to not be perceived as different by either community. If my hair wasn't perfectly straightened and coiffed to look borderline not of my race, I felt like people were going to look at me and judge on sight. My White husband is the only person who has made me feel comfortable in my natural hair and encouraged me to start experimenting with my hair in a way aligned with how it naturally is - if not for myself, for our kids. We're really putting this pressure on ourselves as a community. Black women should be allowed to live and care for themselves without additional external pressure. I'm still unpacking this, but I think this "Hard Wig; Soft Life" movement adds to this undue collective insecurity about our hair. WE DON'T NEED IT!
Thats stupid. My husband is white. I've been black before I met him & I keep my hair up as before. He doesnt get it all the time but he loves it all the time.
To me this hard wig, soft life trend is 1. lowkey bullying; just a new insult disguised as a joke. and 2. A testament to how much value the black "community" put on black women's hair and apperance. There is always something we must do for acceptance, just to have the goal post moved again.
fr! white people like bw lookin crusty!!🤣
Always
THIS!!!💯
I defintely agree with you, and sometimes it feels like jealousy too. i came across a video of a black woman doing one of those street interview house tours, and the comment section was filled with other black women saying "I know her husband is white from her wig". this woman was showing off a very beautiful home yet they were focused on her wig, it made me sick to my stomach.
It's not bullying sometimes black people who are only around white people live in denial about everything. Being around white people is a fantasy thing and if your hair looks that bad than maybe it's a reality check.
I think white men pay less attention to women’s hair in general. Unless it smells bad or has things crawling in it they don’t notice whether it looks good or bad.
It depends
@@AshleyNeco-pi8pyOK, maybe they notice if they’re a hairdresser by profession, but there’s an actual running joke about how long it takes for white men to notice when their wife has done something different with her hair. Culturally there’s just not as much emphasis on it outside of formal events.
I have experienced that when I date black men, they want me to wear my hair straight so I can look more European. When I date white guys, it's the opposite; they love my huge afro and any natural style I have; they don't try to push me to be anything I am not.
A lot of women keep saying the same thing, why is that though?
@singingnemo2024 it depends on the white guy were you dating a wannabe or wigger so to speak
@@tintamanengubecause white men can find straight hair on white girls. Why would you change yourself if he loves you for you? Black men hate themselves, and so by extension black women. It’s pretty simple.
@@tintamanengu
It’s self hate unfortunately and the funny thing is AA’s say we wear wigs bc we have to due to the whole hair policy but many white people look at lace fronts and extreme extensions as comical and ghetto on us. They love our natural hair especially if the braids are grown out lol which cannot fly in AA society. Everything has to be fried, dyed and layed to the side or you can risk being bullied or ostracised or that’s atleast my experience from even going to an hbcu and many black spaces.
That happened to my haitian friend.One time, her husband said he wanted to see her real hair.
same girl same my hubby can't tell the difference when my hair is laid or lazy and I love it. No matter what it looks like he always calls me beautiful, i may get annoyed when I'm trying to get a style down and my hair is the op but just knowing he loves my hair in it's natural state makes me feel seen and worthy.
I want this for all of us, no matter what race we date.❤💚
When I worked in hospitality and retail I wore my natural hair and mainly white men asked me out. They were usually men 35 plus, who dressed well and approached me with phenomenal manners. On the rare occasion that a black man would ask me out, he was usually African😂
i find non black partners tend to like the natural look, and date women that either have that look, or encourages it during the relationship. So she doesn't feel the need to spend huge amounts of money on wigs on stuff. That's what it's been in my experience anyway
So besides black women, who is forcing black women to wear wigs and stuff?
@@Selfworthserenityno one said that😂🤦🏽♀️ please exit
I absolutely agree. I have dated white men and they seem to be the most appreciative and in awe of my features and hair. I love it. It used to make me uncomfortable because I thought they were trying too hard to compliment me because I am Black. But nahh my ex boyfriend would emerge his face into my curls like it was a field of flowers. Just find men who love and appreciate u for u, not what they think u should look like❤️
its the fact we have more racism in our community surrounding dating then white people do when they date black people... i see so many black women with slayed hair who are dating men AND got the white men looking right too
I hope you're joking
White people especially the men despise seeing each other dating the out
the white men have THEMSELVES looking right not the black women "got them looking right" get it right
I just recently learned something. A cultural difference i guess.
Volume in hair. It's one of the reasons to why white people compliment our braids when there's new growth. Hard wigs have volume by the roots. I guess in a way, it plays a part to their attraction to it rather than when it flat. But normally men especially white men don't pay attention to a (black) woman's hair unless she has an afro. They really love the afro
My husband is white and we live in Oregon. There is no black people where we live. I use to live in Virginia and there is black people everywhere!😂 No black people equals no black salons. I’ve learned to do my own braids, twists, trims and all. At the end of the day, my man doesn’t care about my hair no matter what it looks like he thinks I look beautiful all the time. I’m so appreciative of how I can just look a mess and him not care or even know that my hair is not to my standards sometimes.😂
And only you know you look a mess😂 I love that for us. Letting little things be little things❤️💚
I plan on making a video on this. I feel black men need to step up, cause it's embarrassing black women are more themselves with people from another race.
💚❤️Would love to hear your take on this, can't wait for the video. It's really a shame.
Do black men really like that fake hair, nails, lips,and ass look? I'm curious. Cos my man hates it with a passion. I do too
Black men need to step up to what? We been telling yall for like 50 years we prefer you natural. Youve made it a point to wear wigs and weaves in an attempt to assimilate. White men dont care about yall hair because yall bend over backwards to please them and they rejects from their own community and they are satisfied to finally have a submissive regardless of your hair.
facts, when I'm with a black man I feel like I'm being judged when I'm with white men I'm 100% myself
"Go where you are celebrated and loved" touched my heart!❤
I’m a black woman married to a white man and in my experience- WM don’t care much about hair but if you happen to be natural, they sure tend to LOVE it. My husband actively celebrates my afro and was the first person to tell me I look beautiful with my natural hair. He gave me the courage to fully embrace my hair and I remember my 1st work event I finally worked up the courage to wear my natural hair and warned my WM boss ahead of time. When I showed up my boss glanced at me- said my hair looks great so what was I worried about again? I laughed and explained a bit about black women and our hair. He shrugged and said he didn’t hire me for my hair anyways so feel free to wear it however I please lol
Personally, I think it’s because black men always talking down on weaves/wigs, so BW feel lowkey pressured to have their hair laid around BM.
But WM don’t really get the wig/weave controversy. It’s not as much of a deal breaker to the WM because to them it’s just hair ? They don’t really care about the wig either because they understand it’s like clip-ins for white women and hair dye, etc. It’s for the style.
Plus they kinda always wanna see it because it looks nice.
Black women dating white men don’t feel pressured to always have laid edges and relaxed hair. They can be comfortable without worrying too much about their hair because the WM understands it’s literally just hair.
Black women thinking their hair has to be laid and look a certain way to be acceptable is the problem here. It's a shame black women tend to feel more comfortable with their natural hair when the date outside their race.
I think its two things: A: White Men love Black Women, its just facts we do! I love Black Hair because its supposed to be natural!! And B: just like the Woman said, often times when marrying into a White community they dont know how to do Black hair and often lack Black salons and beauty supply stores.
I’ve noticed from living in a more upscale White City that many white guys like active women. So a woman with extra long nails, new hairstyles that can’t be sweated out and overly expensive taste usually are not prioritised by them black or white . I think that’s more of a broke man/new money thing or even years into marriage. Young upwardly mobile healthy men want to do adventurous stuff on the weekend like kayaking, the white water center, hiking, festivals etc and don’t want you worrying about if your lace is melted.. takes the fun out of things. GENERALLY SPEAKING ofc it’s just something I’ve noticed
I think it's because when you get in a relationship you seek what you lack in others and so like that's why you know that's y'all have such an amazing hair textures and just beautiful naturally hair I can see how someone have another race would date someone like you and I want you to just let that natural beauty shine
I love that im with a white man who doesnt police my hair and always tells me he likes it no matter how its done. And it is insult disguised as a joke but hey, when u comfortable and happy frfr its okay to laugh at the truth.
I looooove Dem and Ika. And she definitely doesn't look like she's the stereotype of someone dating a whote person. Her hair is perfection though I know she's joking in the video. Also whitw guys actually appreciate natural hair and as a black person who is attracted to white guys it would make me melt to have them do my hair. I can do it but I'm also lazy 😂😂😂
less stress more happiness. i know my extended family will have a problem but they can catch these hands.
I love the message, the way your celebrated and loved !❤
Disclaimer: I married a white man, so maybe I'm in the hard wig/ soft life demographic *eyeroll*
I'll say this-as someone who has lived outside of Black communities (and often feels isolated by them when I do try to participate), I've been hyper-vigilant about my hair since I was a child. My mom gave me my first relaxer when I was a toddler, so I couldn't even tell you what the texture was like as a kid. This led to me feeling like straight = good, together, acceptable for the public. On top of this, I was literally terrified of getting braids. I didn't want to be perceived as "too Black" because I was going to predominantly white schools.
As I got older, I realized that I was manipulating my hair to death to not be perceived as different by either community. If my hair wasn't perfectly straightened and coiffed to look borderline not of my race, I felt like people were going to look at me and judge on sight. My White husband is the only person who has made me feel comfortable in my natural hair and encouraged me to start experimenting with my hair in a way aligned with how it naturally is - if not for myself, for our kids.
We're really putting this pressure on ourselves as a community. Black women should be allowed to live and care for themselves without additional external pressure. I'm still unpacking this, but I think this "Hard Wig; Soft Life" movement adds to this undue collective insecurity about our hair. WE DON'T NEED IT!
2:31..good lawd she is pretty...wow....and when a man loves you...your hair is the least of his worries
He's fine
Thats stupid. My husband is white. I've been black before I met him & I keep my hair up as before. He doesnt get it all the time but he loves it all the time.
My black man loves my natural hair especially as a fro. They are out there ladies!!!
❤️💚
Because it’s not about natural hair. It’s about not doing your hair, or just your hair being unkept.
Black Americans, slavery is over, well, supposedly