So much mention of white beauty standards in the comments. That’s such a dishonest take of why many black women are dissatisfied with their natural hair. Black beauty standards exclude 4c hair. Short hair. Coarse hair. I work with white women. The only time I feel self conscious about my hair is when in black social spaces. From family asking me if I was still natural, to feeling out of place amongst a sea of wigs. Natural hair is not celebrated in mainstream black culture
Thank you! White beauty standards are at the root of this problem, but they have become a cheap cop out. I have long natural hair and I wear it out sometimes, but those are the only times that most black people compliment me on it. People ask me when I'm going to "do" my hair (braids, extensions, etc), they ask me why I wear Scarves sometimes, and demand for me to wear my hair out a certain way every day. They don't know how damaging some of those styles can be. I think people just want to live vicariously through whatever long hair person they know, when most of them aren't even acquainted with their own hair that looks just like mine. How could my hair have grown to this point if I hadn't accepted and figured it out in the first place? When my hair was in a twa for one or two straight years, I never felt that anyone liked or desired it. Then all of a sudden, people started "wishing" their hair was like mine, even though they were literally there when it was shorter than theirs. If it's 4c, and it's not long, most people simply don't want to see it. I could talk so much more but I've already done enough.
@@adolescentbird honey, the first time going to a salon to straighten my hair after 12 years was for this past NYE. The stylist was some young girl I found off instagram. I told her hey I’m tender headed and haven’t straightened my hair in a long time be gentle. She said of course then goes on to ask me if I have 4c hair. After I said no, she proceeds to shit talk about women with 4c and how unmanageable it is. Then as she’s rinsing my hair over the sink she’s like oh you don’t have 4c hair your hair is nice. I’m in disbelief because one, my hair is 4b. Ain’t that much different. Two, you’re a black woman with black female clients. You’re more likely to encounter type 4 hair. To be so comfortable with disrespecting our hair is scary.
@@imParisthoee omg I can't imagine how you felt since you couldn't get out of the situation. I just pray black people across the world gain love and understanding of who God made them to be.
Not even women of other cultures try to do their hair in 30min most times. They have whole routines. The same way we study how to install wigs and protective styles, we have to study our natural hair. It’s sad that we don’t get to see our beauty reflected in society as much but it is definitely here online!
Lets be so for real right now.... Any texture 4a and below could just put there hair in a ponytail with ease in 5 min and walk out the door. In fact many women with straight or loose curls just walk out the door with their hair wet. 4c hair has MASSIVE shrinkage making it alot more difficult to do styles. They can wear there hair as fros but many women don't like that style with short hair (which is why they wear braids, twists wigs etc)
@@veronicahaney6005 A ponytail is different than a puff. Also she started the video not having a strategy. She definitely could’ve just put a wig on since her tiktok shows that’s what she usually wears.
Im so glad the women at her work supported her and told her she looked like a model 😢 we're our own biggest critics. i can relate to the feeling of being frustrated and feeling prettier with braids or weave before it got longer and i figured out how to style it.
I've always felt most non black people find our hair to be beautiful and its been a black person that told them it was ugly, so they keep deferring to that. They are proof of my theory. I've worn my natural hair a few times and usually I am asked why don't I wear it more often.
@@beprettylife yessss! sometimes i would go into work feeling insecure about my hair and my white manager tells me "your natural hair is so beautiful i love it" and it almost makes me want to cry after 20 something years of having a love hate relationship with my hair. but i feel the same way when i see other natural girls wearing their hair out like i want to see more
The biggest thing about going natural, especially for my 4c hair girls, is to accept how it looks in its natural state. The over manipulation absolutely kills 4c hair. The best thing is to rock it in its Afro state, pick it out or sponge it. When it gets long enough, learn to do a proper wash and go. Yes, we 4c girls can have our wash and gos too. HOWEVER, if you’re thinking it’ll look like the 3c girlies wash and gos, you will be disappointed. Our hair is kinky, not curly. The key is ACCEPT THE TEXTURE! It’s beautiful but it’s different and we have been taught that it’s ugly. It’s not ugly sis. Your hair is unique and it will not conform to the social norm ok? The key to 4c hair is to accept and release how you think it should look. God blessed us with such unique hair. Don’t hate it, learn it and embrace it. If all else fails, big chopped hair grown out for 5-6 months is the perfect length to start some baby locs or sisterlocks. Scarves also look nice on us. Can’t figure out how to make the scarf look fashionable? They have pre tied scarves. We have options sis. With so much love…..Aunty ❤❤❤❤
@@ayethebeatgooff I think they mean different in the sense that "straight hair" (or "white hair") has been promoted for so long. For decades it's been expected for black women to straighten their hair or put it in styles that hide their curls or wear wigs, in that sense, curly hair can be seen as "different" 😅 Although natural hair is becoming more and more popular and we're seeing people rock their curls way more often now. So I understand what you mean to
You don’t need to stretch, braid, twist your hair all the time. Learn to rock it in its natural state. Spray it with water and put a leave in to wear it as an afro- no matter the length. It’ll shrink but learn to embrace it. Pat it down, use your fingers, love it. It’s so easy.
@@KK12612 what’s the difference of experiencing dryness by adding fake hair, constant twists/braid outs and an afro? It’s all the same except one is fully embracing your hair out with little to no manipulation. That’s why you spray with water and put a leave-in as mentioned in my comment. The only way to properly hydrate your hair is by using water aka wash day.
She is right that they don't know what they're looking at. She's a beautiful woman so when they say she looks nice that is absolutely the truth. Once she figures out the best ways to wear and maintain her healthy hair, she is going to have so much more confidence .
This is evidence that natural hair channels need to do more than show wash and goes and twist/braid outs. I recently found "Glory Okings" channel. Many of her styles are easy, don't require long hair, and don't require extensions. I also found several channels from about 8 years ago where the creators actually showed creative ways to style hair.
There were plenty of natural hair channels for girls with that hair texture doing more, but they were ignored by girls with that hair texture for the girls who could wake up in the morning and shake their head and everything is fine. It's not sustainable to be on RUclips making videos daily to get 13 views and 25 subscribes.
@@mexme-me-2 I noticed that when I searched. I'm glad some of them kept their videos public. I appreciate it, but I can imagine they didn't feel appreciated. It sucks because they created styles that anyone can do - regardless of curl diameter or density.
the day black women with 4c hair learn to love their hair the way it looks without any manipulation, is the day we will move on from this "natural hair is so hard" conversation. her hair was already good in the state it was when she took off the bonnet, all she had to do was use a pick comb to fluff it out.
Our natural state is often when it gets the most tangles. Most Africans with long hair styled their hair in updos, twist and long braids. Only those with short cuts wore it out.
@@thewordsmith5440this!! braids twists cornrows etc are still cultural natural styles that exist for a reason. wearing your hair completely shrunken all the time will stunt the length retention🤷🏾♀️.
I felt like her hair looked fine. She’s self conscious because it’s short but honestly, the simple messy bun makes her look more approachable and feminine than any bust down shiny weave.
Please stop talking about women as if we are objects. A woman can wear her hair however she wants. It doesn’t make her any less or more “approachable” not that that even matters because no one cares or asked. Y’all continue holding women’s existence to be centered around you and your opinions of us.
I think the main take away is the MINDSET. That’s the part that hurt me so bad. I kept thinking my natural hair was so childish looking and I wanted to look more feminine, grown & sexy. It wasn’t until i kept getting mistaken for looking older with my weaves (not in a good way) did it start to click. Your natural hair IS YOUR BEAUTY & YOUTH!..which is the #1 thing women are obsessed with. It took time for me to get it an appropriate moisture level but once I did, I started wearing it in a wash-n-go daily and haven’t looked back. The trick is if you feel confident In you hair, so will everyone else. Everyone else can also sense when you’re insecure about your hair as well…
I understand her frustration. She simply hasn’t learned how to style and care for her hair yet. All she needed was one of those drawstring bands to make a puff…there are items and products out there to help us learn. RUclips has a WEALTH of videos showing how to style natural hair at ALL lengths🤷🏽♀️ invest some time in learning. Ps- I love love love how you say “Cuuute!” That is the cutest❤❤
I'm sure if she was working with (majority) black women, the response would've been totally different 😪 she looked so cute but it took another ethnicity to let her see that for herself 🥺 I can relate to an extent but I'm glad I've finally come to a place of total self-acceptance albeit it took about 3 years 🥲 blessings to all fellow naturals ❤
Is everything hard until we decide to change our mindset and point of view about everything? Is our hair EASIER to manage/style once we change our mind about hair length/gender and also live in harmony with our hair texture? Do problems arise when we try to be who we are not? Living in harmony with self is a lifesaver!
100% agree. These girls only ever be doing this/feeling the need to do this when they constantly compare their hair to others which it’s not. Especially the ones on tiktok. No matter how many times you talk to them they never get it because they don’t want to accept this part of them selves and what they are. Atleast more and more if the black community is finally waking up and accepting their natural hair
And wanting length isn't always about wanting to be white. All women of all races usually want lengthy hair and wanting to put it in a bun is not too much to ask. She should just get braids until it grows out to the length she can deal with.
@@thewordsmith5440 wanting length is never the problem, it's the fact that most ppl just don't know what to do with their hair until it's long enough, you suggesting she wears braids untill then kinda proves that.
When your natural hair is longer, you're either going to make peace with stretching it or chop it all off. Not stretching it is a recipe for tangles and body aches from trying to work through the tangles. I keep mine stretched and I keep my salon appointment. People make entire careers out of doing hair, but that's not my path. My hair can be a job, but it sure won't be my job. Find peace and choose it.
I just started wearing my 4c hair out at work. I'm just wearing it in an afro and all my white coworkers gave me compliments. Even though I just sprayed some product and used a pick, I'm trying to learn to be comfortable wearing my hair with little manipulation.
What do you do to take care of the afro at night? I worry about things like not knowing how to do long term maintenance when it comes to trying an afro
I personally believe if Brad and Jennifer can comb their hair and leave the house and its "presentable" then so can we. (Except just water/moisturize and fluff. Combing too much can cause damage.) Love your fro! Hair is meant to compliment your own beauty not be the beauty. And MANY people look beautiful without it.
I have a daughter, I guess she’s in the 4 family. She really doesn’t have a distinctive curl pattern, and she’s low porosity. I was able to manage her hair and get her to tail bone length. She is a teen now and she does her hair, and she was taught what to do but she doesn’t do it. She does what everyone else does and now her hair is multiple lengths and a bit past her shoulders. I told her her hair needs moisture, and washing it once a week and deep conditioning is what got it so long when I did it. I’m frustrated because she gets so hung up on texture, but that’s not what grew her hair. We don’t have the same hair, yet I grew it for her, but texturism is such a big deal to her. She compares herself when her hair was actually longer than mine at one point. Low porosity hair needs moisture and to be gentle with it. I did a lot of twists in her hair, like the loose Senegalese type but with her natural hair and hair butters, small perm rods on the ends. She just wants to wear her hair like her counterparts, but that’s what’s causing the issues. I know how to make it thrive but she is in control at this point. I will just look at pictures to reminisce.
Keep drilling it in to her. My daughter is 13 and has been doing her own hair for about a year now. She broke so much of her hair off not taking her time detangling and trying to wash her hair all at once (she has super dense hair and needs sections). She just came to me saying she wants to get a trim, simplify her routine, and be consistent washing and deep conditioning weekly. She finally gets it. Lol.
I apologize for the long post, but I have so many thoughts on this. I try not shame people’s hair journey. We don’t truly know texture or condition of this young lady’s hair to even know whether all the suggestions in the comments are useful for her. A picture only tells so much. Not everyone can do frequent wash and gos and not experience tangles/breakage, and not all of those people want to get locs as an alternative, which is often a common suggestion when people with certain hair textures (cough cough 4c) complain about managing their hair. Also, part of beauty is experimentation and self-expression through adornment and modification. Black women shouldn’t be shamed for wanting options outside of their natural hair in its purely, shrunken, unstyled state. This is not anti-black. The diaspora has a rich history of natural hair styled in intricate hairstyles. Not everyone has the patience or skill to manage all aspects of their haircare, but this is what many black women are forced to do out of necessity. And no, it’s not necessarily easy to care for hair. If it were so easy, then stylists/beauticians wouldn’t exist, and there wouldn’t be a whole industry dedicated to teaching the trade. Depending on where you live, it may difficult to find a component natural hair stylist with affordable prices. This is part of the reason why DIY is such a huge part of the natural hair community and why we even have natural hair influencers in the first place. So no, black women aren’t crazy or self-hating when they discuss their struggles managing their natural hair. A lot of the frustration you hear some naturals expressing would stop if there were better options for professional natural hair styling.
100% agree and thanks for taking the time to share this.❤️💚
4 месяца назад+3
@apa-vj2ot I totally agree with you on that. I'm african and I can say that I don't fancy my natural hair over my wigs. I live in a place where hair salons are in every door step, 98%of women leave the salon with all styles and hairs except natural hair. Meanwhile my sister in Vienna has to drive for kilometers to find a hair salon and funny enough it has african staff owned by an African. Need l say more?
It can be hard definitely but not to the point of wearing wigs 24/7 and no standard natural hair styles and learning how to wear it out. Wigs take ages to lay down and look crazy lifting or fake and women still wear them. It’s getting to a point where everyone can call black women helmet heads and other races of women feel superiority in that frustration. I understand it but there needs to be some discourse on why natural is such an issue all around.
FINALLY A COMMENT THAT IS NOT PATRONIZING 👏🏾👏🏾, you nailed it, absolutely true on everything. Not many have the patience nor the money and it takes so long * to get it right or the style you're comfortable with.* Plus the climate and the circumstances for example: cowash may work for you if you live in a cold country and your hair is not greasy but if you exercise, live in a hot humid weather (hair will stink with all the products you use in less than 3 days). Natural hair is not easy at all.
@@BeautifulEarthJa my head has multiple curl patterns (as a lot of women do) and for me I’ve learned my hair does best when stretched otherwise it tangles if you just look at it. I haven’t found my holy grail product(s) or routine so yeah it’s been a struggle. Fortunately for me my hair grows back no matter what I do to it. 😆
1:32 I know she was being serious in a sad way, but I felt this comment so deeply in a comical way. I look like the girl version of my dad and when I wear my hair in its cute little afro/shrinkage glory. I gotta put on earrings and dress girly because I do resemble my dad when he was a village boy in Nigeria. It’s even worse because a lot of people say my younger brother and I look like twins, so I HAVE to lean girly with accessories, a cute headband, or a barrette in my hair so people don’t mistake me for HIM at first sight. 😭😂
I get the same reaction!!!! there's a picture of me at home and when ppl visit they think I'm a guy and I've been called my brother's brother too, because I look like every male in my family.
4c hair is nothing but magical. There are so many ways to style it. Even in the short awkward stages of growing it out. I recently did a big chop and it is such a beautiful process learning and accepting my hair for what it is and the styles it can do.
My hair is 4F , not 4c …I’m very frustrated with my hair type, no one that I know has my hair type. My hair type is BEYOND 4c..!!! That’s why I call it 4F..!!😞😞😞
@@Geneviev285 I feel you,Hair struggles are real. Just try loving it despite the differences and find products and styles that work for your beautiful 4c/4f hair. You are a queen regardless.
Have you tried any of the hairstyles shared also from one 4c girl to another, we really need conditioner and water let it sit for about 5mins maybe wrap a plastic/ shower cap over it after application before styling (if you have the time). It has changed my relationship with my hair. It's much softer and easier to comb through.
I honestly found my natural hair to be easiest as a TWA. Just had to moisturize it and 2 minutes later I was done! If you're having an issue with shape/uniformity, cut it into an intentional shape that feels more flattering for your face/head shape. I also find earrings and makeup choices can help create more balance if for some reason you feel like shorter hair isn't the most flattering with your features. More than anything I think having your hair very short is an adjustment at first. You're not used to seeing your face that big and bold, lol. But eventually you'll get used to it and start focusing on the best way to make your face shine, and that's when fun begins!
There are a couple of things that makes it difficult when you are trying to make black hair conform to European beauty standards with the sleek hair. instead of accepting that our hair is different and behaves differently. Our hair is coily and kinky and sometimes curly and its beautyfull in its own right it has personality. I went natural about 15 years ago and my hair is now to my armpits and somedays the curls are popping and I even get jealous looks from White women and somedays it shrinks to my collarbone and people ask me if I have cut my hair and I say no but humidity is a bitch and keep it moving because thats what our hair does al this to say love your hair and let it be, let the beauty standards that where imposed on you by others go and you will learn to love your hair and want nothing else
This is exactly why outside people think they can insult us on our hair. They think we use wigs to hide our hair or loom like them and plenty of other things. I may have a love hate relationship with my hair but it's unique for a reason. I feel like braiding the hair and moisturizing helps alot.
Yeah but everyone doesn’t want to/have the time to twist before. I struggle w not knowing what to do w my hair in its natural state sometimes too but that’s bc I’m holding it to standards not even made for my hair type. I think we all need to get comfortable w our hair being out in its actual natural state
Easiest hairstyle, but that also requires one to actually like seeing their hair like that. Even with the skills there still needs to be a change of mindset
I’ve recently decided to stop trying to tame my hair and just rock my fro. I also bought myself a handheld steamer which I could not live without. It’s my go to for detangling and just makes life easier 🙏🏾
This right here! It took me years after going nature to fully embrace my 4c coily hair texture. Once I stopped fighting with my hair its been easier. My hair is moisturized and healthy, and it looks great.
Hair is just hard, natural or not, no matter it's texture or the race or ethnicity of the woman. It's highly visible, fickle, gets messed up while we sleep (while we sleep...while we do the thing that restores and renews everything else!) reactive to weather, subject to fashion trends and social judgments, changes with age and hormones, physically demanding to style because arms aren't weightless and it's actually a little strength and flexibility workout to keep your arms up high and moving with purpose, often gets styled at the time of day when we are most in a hurry and worst of all it is a lightening rod for insecurities. There's no magic formula to being happy with ones hair other than accepting oneself.
I understand her frustration. I had relaxed hair almost all my life then when I cut my hair and went all natural I did not know what I was going. I still don't have a standard routine but I can somewhat manage it. Falling in love with my hair took time but now I feel blessed to have my hair.
Hahahahahaha my own mom last nyt told me to go shave my head n relax the remaining hair. She said it was no use braiding my hair..tha it looked so "messy "..despite the fact that i cover it up at home and added that my hair will never grow past chin level.my sisters have long straight hair bt i got 4c/4b hair..i have managed to embrace it n love it wid its curls n coils...n i m looking forwRd to this hair jurney.Ps dnt listen 2 criticisms..yr hair is yr hair...love it..own it..care for n it WILL grow.My hair woll grow..n it woll be healthier n stronger n longer.Ameen!😊
The Nigerian schoolboy remark from the first girl was…a bit offensive, but I do understand her anxiety. This is why it’s so important to not be dependent on the beauty industry to carry and convey our image and femininity FOR us as Black Women. Going natural and divesting from cosmetic consumption is so key nowadays, esp with how expensive everything is getting. You have to take notes (*if you weren’t during the natural hair movement). There was plenty to learn, unlearn and take away from the movement when it was far more relevant. You cannot be dependent on weaves; you cannot be dependent on wigs, lace fronts, etc; you can’t just HIDE your hair under textures that don’t even mimic your own and avoid taking care of what actually grows naturally from your scalp - because it will stunt and hinder you in the future. It can even stunt how prepared you are to take care of your *children’s* hair if you’re not careful. Think about it. That’s precisely how trauma specific to Black Women about our hair is recycled. When you are this unfamiliar with how to style your actual hair bc you never interact with letalone nourish it in some form of regularity, this is what happens. She was literally about to have a breakdown unable to even fathom what to do w her hair without just putting something over it. This kind of detachment from our natural hair is a plague on the mindset and esteem of Black Women - and I really pray healing is what will make the biggest difference in this. I genuinely believe that embracing our natural hair is the answer, yet too many still have excuses or fears as to why they’re not ready or are simply resistant. While as a Black Woman myself I do understand there is validity in those reservations, it took me a mere five years to go from the length of my hair being just past my shoulders to waist length; all just from being diligent with maintenance and unlearning bad habits. It’s not hard. It’s not impossible. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It’s not about investing in consumerism. It’s about investing in your health and image - by being diligent with a simplified routine that actually works for you. You don’t have to do what every natural does or swears by. The point is to find and exercise methods that work for you personally. What works for one natural can be kryptonite for another. The journey is about you and how you learn what works for you alone. Don’t work against yourself treating your hair like a stranger; it’s part of you. You cannot get rid of her, no matter what you put on top of her, and no matter how rarely you see her in her natural state. Take CARE of her. Learn HOW. You cannot lose. You will thank yourself the more consistent you are. Time will show you if nothing else will.
I understand but sometimes we're defeated before we even begin, begin with the easiest styles like an afro, embrace the shrinkage girl, I know you'll look beautiful. We're learning together.
@@JaejoongPrincess I too have struggled wearing my hair in it's natural state (Afro) it really takes a change of mindset.... outside of that there's really nothing much to be done because it is the most natural state of our hair, a part of our body like our nose lips or eyes, we can't just constantly keep changing them depending on how we feel at the moment. But we can try to embrace it until it's no longer uncomfortable.
Just not realistic for everyone. If you live in Africa or a majority black country then yeah. But when you live in a white majority country and work in a field like finance clients and people WILL treat you differently. It's sad but true. Wearing my natural hair out to make a statement isn't worth my livelihood as people do associate afros with being unkempt or making political statements. Just not worth the trouble tbh. So I fully understand where these women are coming from.
The shorter it is, the worse it can be. I cried last week and my hair is longer. Blow drying helps. It straightens and smooths. Its definitely not easy
I think it gets even harder because at that point most ppl are just beginning to wear their natural hair intentionally and learning how to care for it too , unless you've big chopped before, all beginnings are quite hard.
@@tintamanengu ive big chopped then i shaved and started all over bc i was in distress after two stylists could not cut my hair the way i wanted and at that time i needed a good look to feel better ab myself. I grew it back of course its still never easy. I have thick 4b hair thats prone to dryness and too much tension causes headaches and its also lob-length but grew out in awkward layers. All i can do is. Wear it pulled back but even that doesnt look cute bc my hair resists edge control. Only blow drying gets it to where it sort of looks decent. I have to get braids soon bc im tired of my hair honestly
@@THEDOORIZCLOSEDomg same !!! I feel like my hair is like yours and I also have sandy brown hair btw idk if that matters but it’s short rn but growing because I cut it from damaged hair and it’s a mini fro unless I manipulate it w gel blow drying etc
It’s hard for real. Leave her people. Anytime I wash mine, it’s tough and painful. I always would say, I need to not wash it unbraided.
4 месяца назад+2
I'm african and I can say that there is nothing to be proud of about my natural hair. It has a tedious, messy, painful combing and styling process. Those saying that they've gone back to natural hair use relaxers, tongs etc to make it easy to run the comb through. My wig takes only 2 minutes to comb, l wish my hair was like that wig
That’s the self hating mindset you will pass on to your kids…no doubt about it. Your hair isn’t like the wigs lol and that’s the truth at the end of the day. Yet it’s your prerogative. If they perm it cool but they still go into their natural hair. Others just use picks designed for our hair
Sis I get it can feel hard sometimes but if you’re prepared to look beyond your negative experiences you can see that most of the challenges you face have such easy fixes. I use to face a hard time with my hair until this year. It’s seriously been in easily mode for me. For now I will say keeping it stretched always is king Just give you hair a chance and try to learn it with an open mind of acceptance. The negative mindsets won’t do you any favors
I know it's hard, trust me because growing up with extremely long and thick hair, it was far from easy. I cut it for the first time back in 2022 and it's still hard, so it doesn't matter the length of your hair, natural hair will always be hard to style. If I'm not braiding my hair, then my hair is in its natural state(curly afro, puff balls, buns, etc), I spray water on it, slap some mousse and leave in conditioner on it and call it a day😂If people think it doesn't look "professional", then that's their problem! I have cried out of frustration because of my hair plenty of times, especially when I was in high school because I couldn't be late to school all the time(I'd be late a lot just because of my hair). My mom did my hair a lot, so she didn't really teach me how to do it myself because it was frustrating for her too since my hair was all the way to my butt AND thick😵 Edit: Also, it's okay to leave your hair ALONE! Put it in a bun or wear your afro and leave it alone. If you are afraid that people will say it doesn't look presentable, fuck them, are they gonna wrestle with your hair?? No. Love yourself, love your hair because so many other people do so much to their hair to make it look like ours, embrace it! Some days, it's not gonna do what you want it to do, so it's best to leave it alone, throw a scarf or headband on it and gone on😭
I actually teared up when she walked in and they automatically started complimenting her... Especially after seeing/ hearing how she felt before. Also, I loved my hair at that length (same texture as hers), but I did use products most of the time. I would pin down a part or tie something (a thin ribbon that would "disappear" or this thin braided belt) across it to pull it back but keep the fro. It was so cute!!! I miss my TWA sometimes.
Truth is a lot of it is undoing mental conditioning that our hair is not beautiful. A lot of young black girls are not learning how to work with their own hair texture. Once she confronts how she feels about kinky hair and starts watching youtube videos and applying what she learns, it will become a lot easier.
My mom never allowed me to get a relaxer so I had to learn to live with and love my 4c hair. It was hard and I spent two year constantly straightening my hair until I accidentally burned a patch of hair off. I was in sophomore year and that was the first time I had to really learn to love it. It took a while but eventually, I found a groove and realized I could do so much with it and it was so unique, I would be the only person to stand out with it. Like you said, mindset is everything. Once I stopped striving for long pin straight hair, I could embrace my fluffy kinky hair. I hope she finds that love for her hair one day!
Idkkkk I'm not liking some of the comments. Like why cant we have "bad hair days" or days where we are just not feeling our hair? This one day out of the other 2 million does not mean i suddenly am not black, I hate myself, I hate my hair, etc. Why do people stay saying this stuff? And my hair is nowhere as dense or long as hers, and my hair stressed me out so bad one night that I started spotting. That told me all I needed to know about my hair right then. Some people hair really is a lot for them and their bodies.🤷🏾♀️ I spent 2 to 3 hours trying to do finger coils just for me to not like it and comb it out. It's okay for my hair to have messed up and me not to be happy with it. Why do we have to justify and clarify that it's just that and no self-hatred behind it? It's annoying to see.
Even though I’m already in braids 😂, watching this really helped heal me cos I’ve struggled with styling my hair for years. I’ve done big chops multiple times now cos I still am not able to style. All the styles I see and attempt use a lot of gel and never turn out as in the video 😅 then I proceed to have a mental breakdown afterwards like the first girl. This was very helpful content! Thank you ❤
Mothers and fathers need to teach their daughters to love their natural selves. Stop blaming the media for issues with your child because it will ALWAYS be there to cause more issues.
I have 4C hair. I did my first big chop in 2010. I kept my TWA for a long time b/c it was easy to wake up and add mousse. I also agree that an AFRO is a hairstyle. I usually twist it at night and then pick it out in the mornings.
When I became at peace with my texture and what it was or wasnt going to do, my life became a lot easier. I wear mine in a shrunken fro. I get complinents, but I do get looks from black people like they feel its too nappy to wear in its naural state. I dont care. How my hair grows out of my head is what its supposed to be, and im proud of it. I realize the negative feelings about 4c hair come from a preference developed by us needing to feel a close proximity to whiteness.
All she had to do was spray/ moisturize / comb each section, then put on a headband. Her problem was trying to make her hair do something it doesn't want to do.
I have had relaxers in my hair since 11 yrs old and i had beautiful curls . I hated how dry and brittle my hair was. I had to wear clip ins and weaves to cover it. Now i stay natural no more relaxers or hair dye. The grey is coming in and my curls formed once i left it alone. No combing just wash condition leave in and im done.
This was a beautiful video to run across this morning, thank you for the positive view and guide for our natural hair. I love our versatility, I just cut mine even shorter yesterday! 11 years natural 🎉
Exactly that’s the exact reason I keep cornrows & get them done every month or so my hair is flourishing wearing my hair in the Afro constantly was losing hair when it gets to a certain length I will eventually start doing different styles
GREAT GREAT Video!!! All Natural African Hair is Beautiful BUT WE MUST LEARN what African Hair is Supposed to Do... It ain't supposed to lay flat... it is Supposed to stand up effortlessly like a Crown that we wear proudly. No other hair type can do what ours does and we must embrace it!!! Rock IT!!! Cuz if we want it straight like the masses we can do that too....Once we embrace who we are we will Have other races looking on with envy as they resort to getting hair sprays just to make their hair stand up like ours... I love my hair -- God don't make No Junk!!! All the ladies in the video looked so so beautiful!!! Thanks for sharing this video Sis!
Your so beautiful ❤ the way you danced to the other u tubers music was so cute...your personality is AMAZING.... ILOVE UR SPIRIT...THANX FOR UR VIDEO ❤
Recently quit relaxers for health reasons and i don't like gels. It's been so tough managing my natural hair because it hurts so much combing therefore i just prefer to braid it
Find the right products, keep it hydrated and moisturized. Make sure its detangled so its easier to keep up and figure out how often you need to wash your hair.
I love all the tips and styles and I love seeing my sisters from around the world sharing this knowledge. I've gotten bored with relaxed and have been letting my hair grow out a bit. I think I'm going to take the inspiration from this video and go on ahead and cut my hair today.
Watching this as I do my 4c hair trying to figure out what to do😅 been wearing my Afro out because of postpartum but it’s all good I still look cute and feel good in my Afro overall 😅😅
I can’t wear faux hair because of my acrylic allergy. Plus, I have low density hair so many hair styles seemed to be for those with thick density. So I do an afro all day every day lmfao I don’t give a freak. Everyone is a always confused as heck when I straighten my hair that once in a blue moon.
I want to cry watching this young lady try and do her hair. I feel everything she's going through. I have been natural for 10 years and it's been hell. My hair haven't grown past my ears. I've checked and i'm healthy. I have low porosity, fine strands, thin hair and it breaks easily. Box braids are too much for my fine strands, I can't stand a bunch of gel, I don't flat iron and my afro is short and uneven. I've gone to shops here in Bradford U.K. and the women here don't care about your hair, they would put hair weave on damaged hair if they can make a pound. It's like WTH.. I've been wearing a scarf so much that I lost a little hair in the back (like a whole role) not long enough for a pineapple, my two stand twist are thin. I'm so uncomfortable. I miss relaxers, but... My hair is too thin already. I don't know what to do. I miss my home USA.
Girl you've been through it....I'm so sorry to hear that. Please try not to tie your hair too tight with the scarves, I do it too sometimes because I want it to look so flat, but just try to be mindful. Also how do you feel about wash and goes? I've seen girls with fine/thin hair look really good in them. Adanna madueke has a couple videos on it and her's looks really amazing (or as she likes to say "scrumptious" ), it may be a good break your edges need.❤️💜💚
I typically wear my hair in mini twists but when I wear it completely unstretched, I like to use shea butter. Keeps the coils slightly defined and very moisturized and soft. Just wash your hair, use leave in, & coat with shea butter. Use a bonnet for nighttime & spray a little bit of water in the morning. Shake, fluff out, & go❤️
@@Sweetlittlebun my hair used to unravel too. I was twisting it the wrong way. You gotta twist in a clockwise direction (left to right) & hold each piece tightly. For detangling, I like African Pride aloe vera prepoo & I use mousse, preferably Papa Doux bc it also detangles well. Instead of combs, I often use my hands & only use a wide-tooth comb after using my hands. Another tip is to try washing your hair once a week instead of every 2 weeks or monthly. I wash my twists after week 1 & keep my twists in for another week. For each twist, moisturize using water, leave in, & some grease. Then braid at the root. This method should keep your hair from matting for up to 2 weeks. Hope this helps, precious!
this past few months i've learned stuff about my natural hair that i didnt really know or took for granted. like 1. i dont need to comb it every single day, which i always did and would get split ends but i would not see a cause and effect relationship between the two. 2. you should not comb/detangle wet hair, which was wild because how was i supposed to detangle since i cant do it dry, apparently damp is good enough. 3. water and glycerine is a bomb ass combination for my hair 3-4 times a week, with a leave in conditioner once a week 4. washing weekly with water only, and every 3 weeks with a shampoo bar with minimal ingredients. so every day i'd wake up and spray it with water and just fluff it, which was enough and it actually looked better than the perfect afro i'd try to get with a comb every time. after six months of afro, i just braided my hair without stretching. the only difficulty i am facing right now is with parting, like i just sat in the middle of 4 mirrors but at one point i was so tired that i'd follow the mirror's reflection instead of being guided by it. but that's a small price to pay to get exactly the type, size and gentleness of braiding i want
The problem is shes tryna style it like a white girl, or the styles that r exceptable here. You have to except it for what it can do. And dont let anyone tell u its ugly in that style. Our hair is different meaning we have to style it different.our hair is so versatile we canform it shape it we can basically make it do anything.
Lol natural hair really is hard to manage especially once it passes shoulder length. Wearing it in an afro everyday is easier said than done. If you fall asleep without remembering to put it in twists or plaits then rip to you. An everyday afro just isnt possible for most, especially healthcare girlies. I personally do 2 weeks mini twists, 2 weeks twist out. Then its back to good old braids for a month. Rinse and repeat. This keeps me comfy while preventing braid dismorphia and allowing me to see my beautiful hair often. Work on self love ladies, but dont let anyone shame you, because natural hair aint no joke.
She’s absolutely beautiful ❤. She can always get a slight fade, go a little lower on the side, that’s a cute style. Use oils on her scalp that helps to soften her hair. She can rock Bantu knots, cornrows, twist outs, or moisten and go. She definitely needs a quality satin bonnet. So many options. I love my natural hair and I’ve done all I’ve suggested. Now I’ve been rocking braids in all variety of colors. Being Black is a beautiful ❤🎉
I started regrowing my hair December. It was much shorter than the lady in the first clip. It was tiring but i accepted my 4c hair right from my teen age. I always believe that if i spend anything on extensions, then i should spend double or more on my hair and to be patient with my hair. I rock the childish hairstyle and I don't care what people say. I have achieved 6 inches in 6 months and thats great 😊 cant wait to get to my former length BSL
All the girl had to do was two braids or flat twists going down. I think she had unrealistic expectations about her hair and just does not know what to do with it. Her hair texture is perfect for low maintenance styles. Mini twist and mini braids would have her out the door in 5 minutes for at least a few weeks.
You know if your hair is so short that you cant style it, you can do so with scarves, they are a god send. Just learn different ways to tie them on pinterest or RUclips with different beautiful designs. It may not look perfect, but with the right outfit it can look outstanding. Plus it protects your hair.
I went natural in the early 2000s when you were considered a rebel for wearing natural hair. I went back and forth between braids and my natural hair until the 2010s when the old school natural youtubers came into prominence. I watched a lot of videos about how to style natural hair before I started rocking it 100% of the time. There is so much information out there now on how to take care of and manage natural hair. I feel like all these women who are having meltdowns on the internet about how to take care of their natural hair is doing it for attention. I am just not here for it.
My hair is slightly longer than her's and i can understand her plight. I hate combing my natural hair. I can braid and cornrow etc but it takes soooo much energy and arm strength to comb. I feel like i do a whole gym routine trying to catch up my hair. My hair doesn't seem to like water like everyone recommends. It's harder to detangle when damp and harder to comb after lightly spraying water. They say don't detangle on dry hair and i try not to, but i lose so much hair combing it out after lightly spraying it with water. (I comb my younger siblings hair, it works fine on theirs so it's not that i don't know how much water to use or how to comb out hair gently. I got the whole black hair needs a gentle touch part) For those who can give, i am very much in need of and willing to take advice 😂
All this lady needed to do was detangle her hair and styled into an afro. All the styles she was trying to do needed length. And her attitude towards her hair was off from from the get go.
Divide and conquer (curling rods are great for dividing)... Finger detangle cream or moisture before using tools. Detangling brush from roots to ends. Putting you hair in one is not the only style. You can feed sections into each other. Last tip...Take down and divide you hair before sleeping. Easier to loose the sections and style in the morning. Scarfs are great for emergercies.
When I first started wearing my own hair. ) coming from always wearing braids. I had a hard time styling it. But over the years. I have learned my hair. And it had become easier. I keep it braided because I didn't like to manipulate it every day. But, I will also go out of my way to complement a women wearing her natural hair. I mean crossing a street and/ walking fast to catch up with a women walking ahead. I want them to know we are beautiful with our natural hair God gave us. It is a mindset. And, when I give compliments I hope that will make them feel more confident. And, for others to see we appreciate each other's beauty. I love our hair. The things it can do.😊
I love my 4c thick coily hair😅 I’m obsessed with it to where I have to put it in a protective style to stop playing with it😂🤣😂 then I miss it and I have to take it down 🥰I love it 🥳🤩😎
When it is that length, you either comb it out into an afro and pat it down, or you do small cane rows (corn rows) from front to back. That is what you do. Growing up in the Caribbean, natural hair is so nromal, I can't understand this distress black women are having. And wearing it out, means an afro.
I heard cane rows and I immediately thought of the Caribbean, I love hearing ppl say that. Sounds so good to me🤗❤️💚 For some reason ppl just don't like wearing afros I guess.
The tears of blood and shrinkage throughout this comment section is borderline embarrassing. It’s like crying about the fact that the sky is blue and grass is green. All this for hairstyles that are more common and easier to do on straighter hair types? It’s simple-stop styling your hair that way. If it’s difficult, it’s clearly not meant for your hair type. Stop trying to make the grass neon pink. She literally just needed a side part and to fluff her fro. Bobby pin or two to help emphasize the part. I wore it all the time when my hair was her length. It was chic. Why? Because I wore it on purpose and everyone knew it. Embarrassment is an energy and that’s all she exuded from her hair. It was just cringeworthy smh.
Guys you can wear an afro the whole week with minimal breakage if you have the right routine. 1.On wash day, moisturize (the most inportant part*) and oil your hair while its still wet. 2.shape the hair into how you want the hair to fall when its in the afro. 3.Then use that as a guide to separate the hair into large sections. 4.Plat those sections (in the same direction). 4. Leave the hair to dry. Personally I like to air dry or use a hairdryer on the cool setting. 5. Just unplat it in the morning and replat it when you're ready to go to bed. You can detangle it with a comb when youre replating if you want to wear it stretched out or you can just part it with your fingers if you want to wear your shrinkage.
I understand the womans frustration i did my natural hair yesterday and i laughed at it because my hair dose what it wants its not short or long so im working on length retention but even with longer hair im not delusional i know my hair texture = shrinkage so I just want it to a length that I can wear it how I want. But I've cut out all none kinky or curly hair extensions, wigs and ponytails I'll only wear something that visually looks like a black women's hair. It's actually scary how hard it is to find a decent kinky wig in a pinch on a budget something you'd never have to worry about with bone straight wig. You have to drop $$$ to buy a wig that looks like our natural hair. But as far as the real problem with how we see each others hair can and will get mean I've watched us be called nappy headed than when a darker girl phenotypically black features wears a blonde lace front. It's oh why she wearing that we are our own worst enemy. Let's do better 🤎
The irony is I have been growing my hair but then i never wear it down because i don't like the scratchy feeling on my shoulders and back. So most times I have it in an updo. Technically I am using the length for more volume in the hairstyle.
I have very difficult hair. I have balding/ breakage in the crown. It's long around the edges. For a while I tried a texturizer, instead of a perm. Because I wanted soft natural looking curls. That mess shed so badly, it was worse than a perm. It wasn't healthy. I can't find anything to keep a silk press from reverting or else I would do that. It's almost impossible to get a comb through it after washing. The only reason I care about trying to style it, is so that I don't scare anyone and so that I can feel good about myself. I've been natural for over two years now. I have a decent length. I've started to cut it off down to the scalp a few times, but held off. It's very frustrating trying to comb a bird's nest. It has nothing to do with White standards, but time management and manageability.
Personally I love wearing my hair in an afro. However I have struggled with length retention and I’ve been natural for 6 years. I’ve never found products that work well for me and I’ve tried a lot of different products over the years. That’s the part that has been hard for me. It’s not the fact that I don’t accept my hair, but the fact that I don’t know how to have healthy hair. I live in a predominantly white area, but I was able to find a natural hair salon a few minutes away from my house. Going to start going to her regularly because I need help. Obviously learning to love your hair is important, however sometimes you just need professional help to get you to that place where you can feel comfortable. Just saying you need to learn to love it is easier said than done.
Water and some conditioner and styled to whatever. Put a scarf on and take your shower and get dress. You can add some gel before the scarf but you have to let it set before thinking it will work. A slick back ponytail is the easiest to do.
Thanks for including my video!!
I LOVE your videos, I didn't know you were on RUclips too. I'm sorry I didn't credit you, I'll do better going forward.❤💚
aww how wholesome 🥹
@@l0v3lyniaa 🥰
your hair is beautiful don’t stress abt it girl ❤
So much mention of white beauty standards in the comments. That’s such a dishonest take of why many black women are dissatisfied with their natural hair. Black beauty standards exclude 4c hair. Short hair. Coarse hair. I work with white women. The only time I feel self conscious about my hair is when in black social spaces. From family asking me if I was still natural, to feeling out of place amongst a sea of wigs. Natural hair is not celebrated in mainstream black culture
I know this to be true as well, sometimes it's our very own ppl.
Thank you! White beauty standards are at the root of this problem, but they have become a cheap cop out. I have long natural hair and I wear it out sometimes, but those are the only times that most black people compliment me on it.
People ask me when I'm going to "do" my hair (braids, extensions, etc), they ask me why I wear Scarves sometimes, and demand for me to wear my hair out a certain way every day. They don't know how damaging some of those styles can be. I think people just want to live vicariously through whatever long hair person they know, when most of them aren't even acquainted with their own hair that looks just like mine. How could my hair have grown to this point if I hadn't accepted and figured it out in the first place?
When my hair was in a twa for one or two straight years, I never felt that anyone liked or desired it. Then all of a sudden, people started "wishing" their hair was like mine, even though they were literally there when it was shorter than theirs. If it's 4c, and it's not long, most people simply don't want to see it. I could talk so much more but I've already done enough.
@@adolescentbird honey, the first time going to a salon to straighten my hair after 12 years was for this past NYE. The stylist was some young girl I found off instagram. I told her hey I’m tender headed and haven’t straightened my hair in a long time be gentle. She said of course then goes on to ask me if I have 4c hair. After I said no, she proceeds to shit talk about women with 4c and how unmanageable it is. Then as she’s rinsing my hair over the sink she’s like oh you don’t have 4c hair your hair is nice. I’m in disbelief because one, my hair is 4b. Ain’t that much different. Two, you’re a black woman with black female clients. You’re more likely to encounter type 4 hair. To be so comfortable with disrespecting our hair is scary.
@@imParisthoee omg I can't imagine how you felt since you couldn't get out of the situation. I just pray black people across the world gain love and understanding of who God made them to be.
It’s because we are upholding white beauty standards. Black people practice white supremacy too.
Not even women of other cultures try to do their hair in 30min most times. They have whole routines. The same way we study how to install wigs and protective styles, we have to study our natural hair. It’s sad that we don’t get to see our beauty reflected in society as much but it is definitely here online!
❤️💚
Lets be so for real right now.... Any texture 4a and below could just put there hair in a ponytail with ease in 5 min and walk out the door. In fact many women with straight or loose curls just walk out the door with their hair wet. 4c hair has MASSIVE shrinkage making it alot more difficult to do styles. They can wear there hair as fros but many women don't like that style with short hair (which is why they wear braids, twists wigs etc)
Exactly!
Im 4c and I can put my hair in a ponytail (well a puff) in 5 minutes. Im tired of the victimhood
@@veronicahaney6005 A ponytail is different than a puff. Also she started the video not having a strategy. She definitely could’ve just put a wig on since her tiktok shows that’s what she usually wears.
Even though the women did not understand her hair , they still uplifted her and recognized her beauty .
💚❤️ it's really nice
Im so glad the women at her work supported her and told her she looked like a model 😢 we're our own biggest critics. i can relate to the feeling of being frustrated and feeling prettier with braids or weave before it got longer and i figured out how to style it.
It's really a horrible feeling
I've always felt most non black people find our hair to be beautiful and its been a black person that told them it was ugly, so they keep deferring to that. They are proof of my theory. I've worn my natural hair a few times and usually I am asked why don't I wear it more often.
@@beprettylife yessss! sometimes i would go into work feeling insecure about my hair and my white manager tells me "your natural hair is so beautiful i love it" and it almost makes me want to cry after 20 something years of having a love hate relationship with my hair. but i feel the same way when i see other natural girls wearing their hair out like i want to see more
she did look pretty but i think it was the specific look too, like that neat bun and black turtleneck is very model chic but make it wearable imo
The biggest thing about going natural, especially for my 4c hair girls, is to accept how it looks in its natural state. The over manipulation absolutely kills 4c hair. The best thing is to rock it in its Afro state, pick it out or sponge it. When it gets long enough, learn to do a proper wash and go. Yes, we 4c girls can have our wash and gos too. HOWEVER, if you’re thinking it’ll look like the 3c girlies wash and gos, you will be disappointed. Our hair is kinky, not curly. The key is ACCEPT THE TEXTURE! It’s beautiful but it’s different and we have been taught that it’s ugly. It’s not ugly sis. Your hair is unique and it will not conform to the social norm ok? The key to 4c hair is to accept and release how you think it should look. God blessed us with such unique hair. Don’t hate it, learn it and embrace it. If all else fails, big chopped hair grown out for 5-6 months is the perfect length to start some baby locs or sisterlocks. Scarves also look nice on us. Can’t figure out how to make the scarf look fashionable? They have pre tied scarves. We have options sis. With so much love…..Aunty ❤❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing, we do have options
Thank you. I have short/awkward length hair and i struggle styling it most times 😢
It’s not “different” either lol. I’m confused why you said that but I was agreeing up until.
@@ayethebeatgooff I think they mean different in the sense that "straight hair" (or "white hair") has been promoted for so long. For decades it's been expected for black women to straighten their hair or put it in styles that hide their curls or wear wigs, in that sense, curly hair can be seen as "different" 😅
Although natural hair is becoming more and more popular and we're seeing people rock their curls way more often now. So I understand what you mean to
@@meg-w9ywhen my hair was short I was already doing wash and gos! Try it! ❤
You don’t need to stretch, braid, twist your hair all the time. Learn to rock it in its natural state. Spray it with water and put a leave in to wear it as an afro- no matter the length. It’ll shrink but learn to embrace it. Pat it down, use your fingers, love it. It’s so easy.
Yes!!! An afro is a hairstyle too. A gorgeous one at that.
💯
Agreed
The hair, if let in an afro state every day, this can lead to hair dryness
@@KK12612 what’s the difference of experiencing dryness by adding fake hair, constant twists/braid outs and an afro? It’s all the same except one is fully embracing your hair out with little to no manipulation.
That’s why you spray with water and put a leave-in as mentioned in my comment. The only way to properly hydrate your hair is by using water aka wash day.
im happy she has sweet coworkers. i understand her frustration i think she just needs to do some research
Yeah, and I really hope she does the research. I hope that wasn't her last attempt given how frustrated she seemed.
She is right that they don't know what they're looking at. She's a beautiful woman so when they say she looks nice that is absolutely the truth. Once she figures out the best ways to wear and maintain her healthy hair, she is going to have so much more confidence .
This is evidence that natural hair channels need to do more than show wash and goes and twist/braid outs.
I recently found "Glory Okings" channel. Many of her styles are easy, don't require long hair, and don't require extensions.
I also found several channels from about 8 years ago where the creators actually showed creative ways to style hair.
I love love love Glory Oking. And thanks for sharing this.
There were plenty of natural hair channels for girls with that hair texture doing more, but they were ignored by girls with that hair texture for the girls who could wake up in the morning and shake their head and everything is fine. It's not sustainable to be on RUclips making videos daily to get 13 views and 25 subscribes.
@@mexme-me-2 I noticed that when I searched. I'm glad some of them kept their videos public. I appreciate it, but I can imagine they didn't feel appreciated. It sucks because they created styles that anyone can do - regardless of curl diameter or density.
I love her❤
She’s at the top of my list when it comes to natural hair girls.
the day black women with 4c hair learn to love their hair the way it looks without any manipulation, is the day we will move on from this "natural hair is so hard" conversation. her hair was already good in the state it was when she took off the bonnet, all she had to do was use a pick comb to fluff it out.
💚❤️
Exactly
Our natural state is often when it gets the most tangles. Most Africans with long hair styled their hair in updos, twist and long braids. Only those with short cuts wore it out.
@@thewordsmith5440this!! braids twists cornrows etc are still cultural natural styles that exist for a reason. wearing your hair completely shrunken all the time will stunt the length retention🤷🏾♀️.
That’s going to hard when you live in a white praised country advertising flowy, long tresses
She is thinking in straight hair, trying to lay it down when it's not meant to lay. It's quite sad.
Bingo
Hearing her co-workers compliments brought a tear to my eye, it just sounded so genuine and they were just so happy to see her
I felt like her hair looked fine. She’s self conscious because it’s short but honestly, the simple messy bun makes her look more approachable and feminine than any bust down shiny weave.
Her hair is beautiful ❤️
Please stop talking about women as if we are objects. A woman can wear her hair however she wants. It doesn’t make her any less or more “approachable” not that that even matters because no one cares or asked. Y’all continue holding women’s existence to be centered around you and your opinions of us.
Ong just for that. I'll keep on wearing vivid colors. So ppl think im a poisonous plant@@ayethebeatgooff
@@BebeDFairyVODs Then you'll wonder why you're still single at 35.
@@JosephineEze79Oh no… how will she ever manage🙄
I think the main take away is the MINDSET. That’s the part that hurt me so bad. I kept thinking my natural hair was so childish looking and I wanted to look more feminine, grown & sexy. It wasn’t until i kept getting mistaken for looking older with my weaves (not in a good way) did it start to click. Your natural hair IS YOUR BEAUTY & YOUTH!..which is the #1 thing women are obsessed with. It took time for me to get it an appropriate moisture level but once I did, I started wearing it in a wash-n-go daily and haven’t looked back. The trick is if you feel confident In you hair, so will everyone else. Everyone else can also sense when you’re insecure about your hair as well…
That's so true
Yeeees! It's the mindset!!
Especially when you don't appreciate or understand your hair for what it is!
@@babyg7796 so true nothing more admirable than a positive mindset and confidence.❤️💚
@@corinthiamcginty2732 💗❤️💚
When I wear my big fro people flirt with me more and I receive more random compliments
I understand her frustration. She simply hasn’t learned how to style and care for her hair yet. All she needed was one of those drawstring bands to make a puff…there are items and products out there to help us learn. RUclips has a WEALTH of videos showing how to style natural hair at ALL lengths🤷🏽♀️ invest some time in learning.
Ps- I love love love how you say “Cuuute!” That is the cutest❤❤
Aaaaaw 🤗😊❤️💚 you're right,there are lots of resources now, but we must want to learn too.
Same here, I never learned either but RUclips has helped me a lot
I'm sure if she was working with (majority) black women, the response would've been totally different 😪 she looked so cute but it took another ethnicity to let her see that for herself 🥺 I can relate to an extent but I'm glad I've finally come to a place of total self-acceptance albeit it took about 3 years 🥲 blessings to all fellow naturals ❤
Glad you are at a much better place now.
Is everything hard until we decide to change our mindset and point of view about everything? Is our hair EASIER to manage/style once we change our mind about hair length/gender and also live in harmony with our hair texture? Do problems arise when we try to be who we are not? Living in harmony with self is a lifesaver!
100% agree. These girls only ever be doing this/feeling the need to do this when they constantly compare their hair to others which it’s not. Especially the ones on tiktok. No matter how many times you talk to them they never get it because they don’t want to accept this part of them selves and what they are.
Atleast more and more if the black community is finally waking up and accepting their natural hair
❤💚 everything begin to align when we do
@@CeraWorld,❤️💚
And wanting length isn't always about wanting to be white. All women of all races usually want lengthy hair and wanting to put it in a bun is not too much to ask. She should just get braids until it grows out to the length she can deal with.
@@thewordsmith5440 wanting length is never the problem, it's the fact that most ppl just don't know what to do with their hair until it's long enough, you suggesting she wears braids untill then kinda proves that.
When your natural hair is longer, you're either going to make peace with stretching it or chop it all off. Not stretching it is a recipe for tangles and body aches from trying to work through the tangles. I keep mine stretched and I keep my salon appointment. People make entire careers out of doing hair, but that's not my path. My hair can be a job, but it sure won't be my job. Find peace and choose it.
❤️💚 amen 🙌🏾
Love this
girl you said it. I dont do my daughter's hair and I have no plans to. lots of women have jobs to do hair and I will be supporting them.
Exactly. I used to do my hair before and I have thick hair it would tangle like crazy. Now I go to the salon it's someone else's problem now
Afros and medium to large earrings are so beautiful so elegant. Trust me! My husband fell in love with me when I used to wear one.
I totally love that combination. It looks amazing on every black woman I've seen it on.
How do we pick the afros so that it looks neat? I have med. length natural 4C hair and the length seems uneven when I try to pick it out.
I just started wearing my 4c hair out at work. I'm just wearing it in an afro and all my white coworkers gave me compliments. Even though I just sprayed some product and used a pick, I'm trying to learn to be comfortable wearing my hair with little manipulation.
That is awesome! Thanks for sharing and I hope you love every bit of it.
That’s nice. You deserve to be comfortable in your own skin
That’s the key. Embrace 4c and it will be easier.
What do you do to take care of the afro at night? I worry about things like not knowing how to do long term maintenance when it comes to trying an afro
@@smolson8471 I just make sure to put on a bonnet.
It's so sad how much the first girl hates her hair. I really wish we as a people could overcome this internalized hatred. 💔
I personally believe if Brad and Jennifer can comb their hair and leave the house and its "presentable" then so can we. (Except just water/moisturize and fluff. Combing too much can cause damage.)
Love your fro! Hair is meant to compliment your own beauty not be the beauty. And MANY people look beautiful without it.
So true
Her hair is so dehydrated, of course it's gonna be hard to style it. Put some water on that hair, girl
agreed, her hair needed water. water softens our hair
The water in her area might be hard
Then her hair is gonna shrink up making it even harder for her to grip. Atleast that's my experience.🤷🏾♀️
I have a daughter, I guess she’s in the 4 family. She really doesn’t have a distinctive curl pattern, and she’s low porosity. I was able to manage her hair and get her to tail bone length. She is a teen now and she does her hair, and she was taught what to do but she doesn’t do it. She does what everyone else does and now her hair is multiple lengths and a bit past her shoulders. I told her her hair needs moisture, and washing it once a week and deep conditioning is what got it so long when I did it. I’m frustrated because she gets so hung up on texture, but that’s not what grew her hair. We don’t have the same hair, yet I grew it for her, but texturism is such a big deal to her. She compares herself when her hair was actually longer than mine at one point. Low porosity hair needs moisture and to be gentle with it. I did a lot of twists in her hair, like the loose Senegalese type but with her natural hair and hair butters, small perm rods on the ends. She just wants to wear her hair like her counterparts, but that’s what’s causing the issues. I know how to make it thrive but she is in control at this point. I will just look at pictures to reminisce.
I really hope she comes around. Constantly wanting our hair to look different requires a lot of manipulation, it's never good for us in the long run.
Keep drilling it in to her. My daughter is 13 and has been doing her own hair for about a year now. She broke so much of her hair off not taking her time detangling and trying to wash her hair all at once (she has super dense hair and needs sections). She just came to me saying she wants to get a trim, simplify her routine, and be consistent washing and deep conditioning weekly. She finally gets it. Lol.
U sound like exactly like what my mom says
@@pri_shay_dior help her then from experience
You sound like my mum. But I never liked how she styled my hair and length didn’t matter to me 😊
I apologize for the long post, but I have so many thoughts on this.
I try not shame people’s hair journey. We don’t truly know texture or condition of this young lady’s hair to even know whether all the suggestions in the comments are useful for her. A picture only tells so much.
Not everyone can do frequent wash and gos and not experience tangles/breakage, and not all of those people want to get locs as an alternative, which is often a common suggestion when people with certain hair textures (cough cough 4c) complain about managing their hair.
Also, part of beauty is experimentation and self-expression through adornment and modification. Black women shouldn’t be shamed for wanting options outside of their natural hair in its purely, shrunken, unstyled state. This is not anti-black. The diaspora has a rich history of natural hair styled in intricate hairstyles.
Not everyone has the patience or skill to manage all aspects of their haircare, but this is what many black women are forced to do out of necessity.
And no, it’s not necessarily easy to care for hair. If it were so easy, then stylists/beauticians wouldn’t exist, and there wouldn’t be a whole industry dedicated to teaching the trade.
Depending on where you live, it may difficult to find a component natural hair stylist with affordable prices. This is part of the reason why DIY is such a huge part of the natural hair community and why we even have natural hair influencers in the first place.
So no, black women aren’t crazy or self-hating when they discuss their struggles managing their natural hair.
A lot of the frustration you hear some naturals expressing would stop if there were better options for professional natural hair styling.
100% agree and thanks for taking the time to share this.❤️💚
@apa-vj2ot I totally agree with you on that. I'm african and I can say that I don't fancy my natural hair over my wigs. I live in a place where hair salons are in every door step, 98%of women leave the salon with all styles and hairs except natural hair. Meanwhile my sister in Vienna has to drive for kilometers to find a hair salon and funny enough it has african staff owned by an African. Need l say more?
It can be hard definitely but not to the point of wearing wigs 24/7 and no standard natural hair styles and learning how to wear it out. Wigs take ages to lay down and look crazy lifting or fake and women still wear them. It’s getting to a point where everyone can call black women helmet heads and other races of women feel superiority in that frustration. I understand it but there needs to be some discourse on why natural is such an issue all around.
@@Sarah-kv3qs ❤️💚
FINALLY A COMMENT THAT IS NOT PATRONIZING 👏🏾👏🏾, you nailed it, absolutely true on everything.
Not many have the patience nor the money and it takes so long * to get it right or the style you're comfortable with.* Plus the climate and the circumstances for example: cowash may work for you if you live in a cold country and your hair is not greasy but if you exercise, live in a hot humid weather (hair will stink with all the products you use in less than 3 days). Natural hair is not easy at all.
That really hurt my heart to watch. I hate that she felt like her hair in it's natural state wasn't presentable.
It is so hard honestly. I’ve been natural 10 years now and it’s still very much a struggle.
It will get better, the key is to try to actively learn and have a positive mindset
@@tintamanengu it will get better. It’s been 10 years. 😂😔
@@brownbabydoll7912 it's still too soon😄
after 10 years, what's difficult about it?
@@BeautifulEarthJa my head has multiple curl patterns (as a lot of women do) and for me I’ve learned my hair does best when stretched otherwise it tangles if you just look at it. I haven’t found my holy grail product(s) or routine so yeah it’s been a struggle. Fortunately for me my hair grows back no matter what I do to it. 😆
1:32 I know she was being serious in a sad way, but I felt this comment so deeply in a comical way.
I look like the girl version of my dad and when I wear my hair in its cute little afro/shrinkage glory. I gotta put on earrings and dress girly because I do resemble my dad when he was a village boy in Nigeria. It’s even worse because a lot of people say my younger brother and I look like twins, so I HAVE to lean girly with accessories, a cute headband, or a barrette in my hair so people don’t mistake me for HIM at first sight. 😭😂
I get the same reaction!!!! there's a picture of me at home and when ppl visit they think I'm a guy and I've been called my brother's brother too, because I look like every male in my family.
@@tintamanengu Isn’t it just SICK. Like we’re clearly girls if not for the lack of telltale accessories! 😂😭
@@tintamanengu😂 Wow I see it you do look like a man
4c hair is nothing but magical. There are so many ways to style it. Even in the short awkward stages of growing it out. I recently did a big chop and it is such a beautiful process learning and accepting my hair for what it is and the styles it can do.
My hair is 4F , not 4c …I’m very frustrated with my hair type, no one that I know has my hair type. My hair type is BEYOND 4c..!!! That’s why I call it 4F..!!😞😞😞
@@Geneviev285 I feel you,Hair struggles are real. Just try loving it despite the differences and find products and styles that work for your beautiful 4c/4f hair. You are a queen regardless.
I'm so glad you left this comment, I love that you're loving it at all lengths. Again thank you 😊
Have you tried any of the hairstyles shared also from one 4c girl to another, we really need conditioner and water let it sit for about 5mins maybe wrap a plastic/ shower cap over it after application before styling (if you have the time). It has changed my relationship with my hair. It's much softer and easier to comb through.
I honestly found my natural hair to be easiest as a TWA. Just had to moisturize it and 2 minutes later I was done! If you're having an issue with shape/uniformity, cut it into an intentional shape that feels more flattering for your face/head shape. I also find earrings and makeup choices can help create more balance if for some reason you feel like shorter hair isn't the most flattering with your features. More than anything I think having your hair very short is an adjustment at first. You're not used to seeing your face that big and bold, lol. But eventually you'll get used to it and start focusing on the best way to make your face shine, and that's when fun begins!
💚❤️
There are a couple of things that makes it difficult when you are trying to make black hair conform to European beauty standards with the sleek hair. instead of accepting that our hair is different and behaves differently. Our hair is coily and kinky and sometimes curly and its beautyfull in its own right it has personality. I went natural about 15 years ago and my hair is now to my armpits and somedays the curls are popping and I even get jealous looks from White women and somedays it shrinks to my collarbone and people ask me if I have cut my hair and I say no but humidity is a bitch and keep it moving because thats what our hair does al this to say love your hair and let it be, let the beauty standards that where imposed on you by others go and you will learn to love your hair and want nothing else
Exactly!! Thanks for sharing ☺️❤️
Why curse humidity though? Why not consider it a blessing?
This is exactly why outside people think they can insult us on our hair. They think we use wigs to hide our hair or loom like them and plenty of other things. I may have a love hate relationship with my hair but it's unique for a reason. I feel like braiding the hair and moisturizing helps alot.
All she had to do was do twists at night then take it down in the morning …that is a style for short twa hair.
Yeah but everyone doesn’t want to/have the time to twist before. I struggle w not knowing what to do w my hair in its natural state sometimes too but that’s bc I’m holding it to standards not even made for my hair type. I think we all need to get comfortable w our hair being out in its actual natural state
Not even that- she could’ve just sprayed it and worn it as a mini afro.
Easiest hairstyle, but that also requires one to actually like seeing their hair like that. Even with the skills there still needs to be a change of mindset
Thank you 😊
It's a little bit of effort but doable.
oh my gosh your hair looks so effortlessly slicked back with no obvious residue could you tell me how you did that I'm dying to know
Aaaw thank you 😊 I could make a video, there's no residue because there's no gel, just water. And yes your 4c can.
@@tintamanenguooh please drop a video!
I’ve recently decided to stop trying to tame my hair and just rock my fro. I also bought myself a handheld steamer which I could not live without. It’s my go to for detangling and just makes life easier 🙏🏾
I recently stopped trying to fight my hair texture and make it do things it didn’t want to do. It’s healthier and it take so much less time
I really hope we all learn to JUST love our hair.
This right here! It took me years after going nature to fully embrace my 4c coily hair texture. Once I stopped fighting with my hair its been easier. My hair is moisturized and healthy, and it looks great.
Hair is just hard, natural or not, no matter it's texture or the race or ethnicity of the woman.
It's highly visible, fickle, gets messed
up while we sleep (while we sleep...while we do the thing that restores and renews everything else!) reactive to weather, subject to fashion trends and social judgments, changes with age and hormones, physically demanding to style because arms aren't
weightless and it's actually a little strength and flexibility workout to keep your arms up high and moving with purpose, often gets styled at the time of day when we are most in a hurry and worst of all it is a lightening rod for insecurities.
There's no magic formula to being happy with ones hair other than accepting oneself.
They aren't telling her she looks nice because they're white. For crying out loud. They're telling her that she looks nice because SHE DOES LOOK NICE.
I understand her frustration. I had relaxed hair almost all my life then when I cut my hair and went all natural I did not know what I was going. I still don't have a standard routine but I can somewhat manage it. Falling in love with my hair took time but now I feel blessed to have my hair.
Working in sections throughout my thick kinky frizzy 4c hair helped me tremendously with styling
I never wanted to work in sections when I first started I'm getting better at it now, and it's really helpful
It is about time we are addressing the real issues concerning our hair type❤❤❤ Great content 💯
Hahahahahaha my own mom last nyt told me to go shave my head n relax the remaining hair. She said it was no use braiding my hair..tha it looked so "messy "..despite the fact that i cover it up at home and added that my hair will never grow past chin level.my sisters have long straight hair bt i got 4c/4b hair..i have managed to embrace it n love it wid its curls n coils...n i m looking forwRd to this hair jurney.Ps dnt listen 2 criticisms..yr hair is yr hair...love it..own it..care for n it WILL grow.My hair woll grow..n it woll be healthier n stronger n longer.Ameen!😊
Amen!!! And happy hair journey to you girl.
The Nigerian schoolboy remark from the first girl was…a bit offensive, but I do understand her anxiety. This is why it’s so important to not be dependent on the beauty industry to carry and convey our image and femininity FOR us as Black Women. Going natural and divesting from cosmetic consumption is so key nowadays, esp with how expensive everything is getting. You have to take notes (*if you weren’t during the natural hair movement). There was plenty to learn, unlearn and take away from the movement when it was far more relevant. You cannot be dependent on weaves; you cannot be dependent on wigs, lace fronts, etc; you can’t just HIDE your hair under textures that don’t even mimic your own and avoid taking care of what actually grows naturally from your scalp - because it will stunt and hinder you in the future. It can even stunt how prepared you are to take care of your *children’s* hair if you’re not careful. Think about it. That’s precisely how trauma specific to Black Women about our hair is recycled. When you are this unfamiliar with how to style your actual hair bc you never interact with letalone nourish it in some form of regularity, this is what happens. She was literally about to have a breakdown unable to even fathom what to do w her hair without just putting something over it. This kind of detachment from our natural hair is a plague on the mindset and esteem of Black Women - and I really pray healing is what will make the biggest difference in this. I genuinely believe that embracing our natural hair is the answer, yet too many still have excuses or fears as to why they’re not ready or are simply resistant. While as a Black Woman myself I do understand there is validity in those reservations, it took me a mere five years to go from the length of my hair being just past my shoulders to waist length; all just from being diligent with maintenance and unlearning bad habits. It’s not hard. It’s not impossible. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It’s not about investing in consumerism. It’s about investing in your health and image - by being diligent with a simplified routine that actually works for you. You don’t have to do what every natural does or swears by. The point is to find and exercise methods that work for you personally. What works for one natural can be kryptonite for another. The journey is about you and how you learn what works for you alone. Don’t work against yourself treating your hair like a stranger; it’s part of you. You cannot get rid of her, no matter what you put on top of her, and no matter how rarely you see her in her natural state. Take CARE of her. Learn HOW. You cannot lose. You will thank yourself the more consistent you are. Time will show you if nothing else will.
Why not say hair affirmations everyday to make your hair more manageable then? It worked for me…
Never tried that, I'll try it.❤ Thanks for sharing.
Different strokes for different folks
What hair Affirmations do you say ?
Honestly, I feel her pain. I haven't worn my hair out in a year because I simply just dont have the will/energy to deal with it. Sigh
I understand but sometimes we're defeated before we even begin, begin with the easiest styles like an afro, embrace the shrinkage girl, I know you'll look beautiful. We're learning together.
@@tintamanengu Awww thank you and I'll try
@@tintamanengu Not everybody likes wearing afros and some don't have the face for it like me.
@@JaejoongPrincess I too have struggled wearing my hair in it's natural state (Afro) it really takes a change of mindset.... outside of that there's really nothing much to be done because it is the most natural state of our hair, a part of our body like our nose lips or eyes, we can't just constantly keep changing them depending on how we feel at the moment. But we can try to embrace it until it's no longer uncomfortable.
Just not realistic for everyone. If you live in Africa or a majority black country then yeah. But when you live in a white majority country and work in a field like finance clients and people WILL treat you differently. It's sad but true. Wearing my natural hair out to make a statement isn't worth my livelihood as people do associate afros with being unkempt or making political statements. Just not worth the trouble tbh. So I fully understand where these women are coming from.
The shorter it is, the worse it can be. I cried last week and my hair is longer. Blow drying helps. It straightens and smooths. Its definitely not easy
I think it gets even harder because at that point most ppl are just beginning to wear their natural hair intentionally and learning how to care for it too , unless you've big chopped before, all beginnings are quite hard.
@@tintamanengu ive big chopped then i shaved and started all over bc i was in distress after two stylists could not cut my hair the way i wanted and at that time i needed a good look to feel better ab myself. I grew it back of course its still never easy. I have thick 4b hair thats prone to dryness and too much tension causes headaches and its also lob-length but grew out in awkward layers. All i can do is. Wear it pulled back but even that doesnt look cute bc my hair resists edge control. Only blow drying gets it to where it sort of looks decent. I have to get braids soon bc im tired of my hair honestly
@@THEDOORIZCLOSEDomg same !!! I feel like my hair is like yours and I also have sandy brown hair btw idk if that matters but it’s short rn but growing because I cut it from damaged hair and it’s a mini fro unless I manipulate it w gel blow drying etc
It’s hard for real. Leave her people. Anytime I wash mine, it’s tough and painful. I always would say, I need to not wash it unbraided.
I'm african and I can say that there is nothing to be proud of about my natural hair. It has a tedious, messy, painful combing and styling process. Those saying that they've gone back to natural hair use relaxers, tongs etc to make it easy to run the comb through. My wig takes only 2 minutes to comb, l wish my hair was like that wig
That’s the self hating mindset you will pass on to your kids…no doubt about it. Your hair isn’t like the wigs lol and that’s the truth at the end of the day. Yet it’s your prerogative. If they perm it cool but they still go into their natural hair. Others just use picks designed for our hair
Sis I get it can feel hard sometimes but if you’re prepared to look beyond your negative experiences you can see that most of the challenges you face have such easy fixes.
I use to face a hard time with my hair until this year. It’s seriously been in easily mode for me.
For now I will say keeping it stretched always is king
Just give you hair a chance and try to learn it with an open mind of acceptance. The negative mindsets won’t do you any favors
I know it's hard, trust me because growing up with extremely long and thick hair, it was far from easy. I cut it for the first time back in 2022 and it's still hard, so it doesn't matter the length of your hair, natural hair will always be hard to style. If I'm not braiding my hair, then my hair is in its natural state(curly afro, puff balls, buns, etc), I spray water on it, slap some mousse and leave in conditioner on it and call it a day😂If people think it doesn't look "professional", then that's their problem! I have cried out of frustration because of my hair plenty of times, especially when I was in high school because I couldn't be late to school all the time(I'd be late a lot just because of my hair). My mom did my hair a lot, so she didn't really teach me how to do it myself because it was frustrating for her too since my hair was all the way to my butt AND thick😵
Edit: Also, it's okay to leave your hair ALONE! Put it in a bun or wear your afro and leave it alone. If you are afraid that people will say it doesn't look presentable, fuck them, are they gonna wrestle with your hair?? No. Love yourself, love your hair because so many other people do so much to their hair to make it look like ours, embrace it! Some days, it's not gonna do what you want it to do, so it's best to leave it alone, throw a scarf or headband on it and gone on😭
I actually teared up when she walked in and they automatically started complimenting her... Especially after seeing/ hearing how she felt before.
Also, I loved my hair at that length (same texture as hers), but I did use products most of the time. I would pin down a part or tie something (a thin ribbon that would "disappear" or this thin braided belt) across it to pull it back but keep the fro. It was so cute!!!
I miss my TWA sometimes.
Truth is a lot of it is undoing mental conditioning that our hair is not beautiful. A lot of young black girls are not learning how to work with their own hair texture. Once she confronts how she feels about kinky hair and starts watching youtube videos and applying what she learns, it will become a lot easier.
I’m inspired to forget my wigs and rock my short natural- Styled of course, ❤
Aaaaw.....I love to hear this, I hope you love every bit of it.
My mom never allowed me to get a relaxer so I had to learn to live with and love my 4c hair. It was hard and I spent two year constantly straightening my hair until I accidentally burned a patch of hair off. I was in sophomore year and that was the first time I had to really learn to love it. It took a while but eventually, I found a groove and realized I could do so much with it and it was so unique, I would be the only person to stand out with it. Like you said, mindset is everything. Once I stopped striving for long pin straight hair, I could embrace my fluffy kinky hair. I hope she finds that love for her hair one day!
Idkkkk I'm not liking some of the comments. Like why cant we have "bad hair days" or days where we are just not feeling our hair? This one day out of the other 2 million does not mean i suddenly am not black, I hate myself, I hate my hair, etc. Why do people stay saying this stuff?
And my hair is nowhere as dense or long as hers, and my hair stressed me out so bad one night that I started spotting. That told me all I needed to know about my hair right then. Some people hair really is a lot for them and their bodies.🤷🏾♀️
I spent 2 to 3 hours trying to do finger coils just for me to not like it and comb it out. It's okay for my hair to have messed up and me not to be happy with it. Why do we have to justify and clarify that it's just that and no self-hatred behind it? It's annoying to see.
Even though I’m already in braids 😂, watching this really helped heal me cos I’ve struggled with styling my hair for years.
I’ve done big chops multiple times now cos I still am not able to style.
All the styles I see and attempt use a lot of gel and never turn out as in the video 😅 then I proceed to have a mental breakdown afterwards like the first girl.
This was very helpful content! Thank you ❤
Mothers and fathers need to teach their daughters to love their natural selves. Stop blaming the media for issues with your child because it will ALWAYS be there to cause more issues.
I have 4C hair. I did my first big chop in 2010. I kept my TWA for a long time b/c it was easy to wake up and add mousse.
I also agree that an AFRO is a hairstyle. I usually twist it at night and then pick it out in the mornings.
When I became at peace with my texture and what it was or wasnt going to do, my life became a lot easier. I wear mine in a shrunken fro. I get complinents, but I do get looks from black people like they feel its too nappy to wear in its naural state. I dont care. How my hair grows out of my head is what its supposed to be, and im proud of it. I realize the negative feelings about 4c hair come from a preference developed by us needing to feel a close proximity to whiteness.
All she had to do was spray/ moisturize / comb each section, then put on a headband. Her problem was trying to make her hair do something it doesn't want to do.
I have had relaxers in my hair since 11 yrs old and i had beautiful curls . I hated how dry and brittle my hair was. I had to wear clip ins and weaves to cover it. Now i stay natural no more relaxers or hair dye. The grey is coming in and my curls formed once i left it alone. No combing just wash condition leave in and im done.
I feel bad for her 😢. Also that edge thing is bs i can't even use it to brush it back and it never stays down.
This was a beautiful video to run across this morning, thank you for the positive view and guide for our natural hair. I love our versatility, I just cut mine even shorter yesterday! 11 years natural 🎉
Stretching the hair prevents breakage, wearing a fro everyday leads to knots, tangles and breakage
Exactly that’s the exact reason I keep cornrows & get them done every month or so my hair is flourishing wearing my hair in the Afro constantly was losing hair when it gets to a certain length I will eventually start doing different styles
GREAT GREAT Video!!! All Natural African Hair is Beautiful BUT WE MUST LEARN what African Hair is Supposed to Do... It ain't supposed to lay flat... it is Supposed to stand up effortlessly like a Crown that we wear proudly. No other hair type can do what ours does and we must embrace it!!! Rock IT!!! Cuz if we want it straight like the masses we can do that too....Once we embrace who we are we will Have other races looking on with envy as they resort to getting hair sprays just to make their hair stand up like ours... I love my hair -- God don't make No Junk!!! All the ladies in the video looked so so beautiful!!! Thanks for sharing this video Sis!
Thanks for sharing this too. I love when we come out talking about how we love our hair.
*Embrace the truth of your natural hair without comparing it with others.* ❣️
Your so beautiful ❤ the way you danced to the other u tubers music was so cute...your personality is AMAZING.... ILOVE UR SPIRIT...THANX FOR UR VIDEO ❤
Aaaaaaaw thank you so much!! This made my night. Can't stop smiling now.
Recently quit relaxers for health reasons and i don't like gels. It's been so tough managing my natural hair because it hurts so much combing therefore i just prefer to braid it
Find the right products, keep it hydrated and moisturized. Make sure its detangled so its easier to keep up and figure out how often you need to wash your hair.
I love all the tips and styles and I love seeing my sisters from around the world sharing this knowledge. I've gotten bored with relaxed and have been letting my hair grow out a bit. I think I'm going to take the inspiration from this video and go on ahead and cut my hair today.
Watching this as I do my 4c hair trying to figure out what to do😅 been wearing my Afro out because of postpartum but it’s all good I still look cute and feel good in my Afro overall 😅😅
You got this! We've got this 💚❤️
I can’t wear faux hair because of my acrylic allergy. Plus, I have low density hair so many hair styles seemed to be for those with thick density. So I do an afro all day every day lmfao I don’t give a freak. Everyone is a always confused as heck when I straighten my hair that once in a blue moon.
I want to cry watching this young lady try and do her hair. I feel everything she's going through. I have been natural for 10 years and it's been hell. My hair haven't grown past my ears. I've checked and i'm healthy. I have low porosity, fine strands, thin hair and it breaks easily. Box braids are too much for my fine strands, I can't stand a bunch of gel, I don't flat iron and my afro is short and uneven. I've gone to shops here in Bradford U.K. and the women here don't care about your hair, they would put hair weave on damaged hair if they can make a pound. It's like WTH.. I've been wearing a scarf so much that I lost a little hair in the back (like a whole role) not long enough for a pineapple, my two stand twist are thin. I'm so uncomfortable. I miss relaxers, but... My hair is too thin already. I don't know what to do. I miss my home USA.
Girl you've been through it....I'm so sorry to hear that. Please try not to tie your hair too tight with the scarves, I do it too sometimes because I want it to look so flat, but just try to be mindful. Also how do you feel about wash and goes? I've seen girls with fine/thin hair look really good in them. Adanna madueke has a couple videos on it and her's looks really amazing (or as she likes to say "scrumptious" ), it may be a good break your edges need.❤️💜💚
@@tintamanengu Thank you, I'll check it out.
I typically wear my hair in mini twists but when I wear it completely unstretched, I like to use shea butter. Keeps the coils slightly defined and very moisturized and soft. Just wash your hair, use leave in, & coat with shea butter. Use a bonnet for nighttime & spray a little bit of water in the morning. Shake, fluff out, & go❤️
I can’t even do twist because my hair unravels… it’s frustrating because I have so much hair and it tangles and mats
@@Sweetlittlebun my hair used to unravel too. I was twisting it the wrong way. You gotta twist in a clockwise direction (left to right) & hold each piece tightly. For detangling, I like African Pride aloe vera prepoo & I use mousse, preferably Papa Doux bc it also detangles well. Instead of combs, I often use my hands & only use a wide-tooth comb after using my hands. Another tip is to try washing your hair once a week instead of every 2 weeks or monthly. I wash my twists after week 1 & keep my twists in for another week. For each twist, moisturize using water, leave in, & some grease. Then braid at the root. This method should keep your hair from matting for up to 2 weeks. Hope this helps, precious!
this past few months i've learned stuff about my natural hair that i didnt really know or took for granted. like
1. i dont need to comb it every single day, which i always did and would get split ends but i would not see a cause and effect relationship between the two.
2. you should not comb/detangle wet hair, which was wild because how was i supposed to detangle since i cant do it dry, apparently damp is good enough.
3. water and glycerine is a bomb ass combination for my hair 3-4 times a week, with a leave in conditioner once a week
4. washing weekly with water only, and every 3 weeks with a shampoo bar with minimal ingredients.
so every day i'd wake up and spray it with water and just fluff it, which was enough and it actually looked better than the perfect afro i'd try to get with a comb every time. after six months of afro, i just braided my hair without stretching. the only difficulty i am facing right now is with parting, like i just sat in the middle of 4 mirrors but at one point i was so tired that i'd follow the mirror's reflection instead of being guided by it. but that's a small price to pay to get exactly the type, size and gentleness of braiding i want
I can't seem to get the parting right till this day neither. I've never tried glycerin but I've heard good things. I may try it some day.
The problem is shes tryna style it like a white girl, or the styles that r exceptable here. You have to except it for what it can do. And dont let anyone tell u its ugly in that style. Our hair is different meaning we have to style it different.our hair is so versatile we canform it shape it we can basically make it do anything.
💚❤️
Lol natural hair really is hard to manage especially once it passes shoulder length. Wearing it in an afro everyday is easier said than done. If you fall asleep without remembering to put it in twists or plaits then rip to you. An everyday afro just isnt possible for most, especially healthcare girlies. I personally do 2 weeks mini twists, 2 weeks twist out. Then its back to good old braids for a month. Rinse and repeat. This keeps me comfy while preventing braid dismorphia and allowing me to see my beautiful hair often. Work on self love ladies, but dont let anyone shame you, because natural hair aint no joke.
I'll try the twist and twist out routine, I'm trying to learn how to wear my hair.
I felt this. Thats exactly how it used to feel when fixing my hair. If i had the choice, i wouldve chose 3a hair instead🥺
Her hair is so cute! A bit of edge wax would help make everything look uniform
She’s absolutely beautiful ❤. She can always get a slight fade, go a little lower on the side, that’s a cute style. Use oils on her scalp that helps to soften her hair. She can rock Bantu knots, cornrows, twist outs, or moisten and go. She definitely needs a quality satin bonnet. So many options. I love my natural hair and I’ve done all I’ve suggested. Now I’ve been rocking braids in all variety of colors. Being Black is a beautiful ❤🎉
Love to see this on here, thanks for sharing.
I started regrowing my hair December. It was much shorter than the lady in the first clip. It was tiring but i accepted my 4c hair right from my teen age. I always believe that if i spend anything on extensions, then i should spend double or more on my hair and to be patient with my hair. I rock the childish hairstyle and I don't care what people say. I have achieved 6 inches in 6 months and thats great 😊 cant wait to get to my former length BSL
White woman here - I genuinely think her hair looked nice at the end ? 🤷🏻♀️ I really don’t see what she doesn’t like about it she’s beautiful
All the girl had to do was two braids or flat twists going down. I think she had unrealistic expectations about her hair and just does not know what to do with it.
Her hair texture is perfect for low maintenance styles. Mini twist and mini braids would have her out the door in 5 minutes for at least a few weeks.
You know if your hair is so short that you cant style it, you can do so with scarves, they are a god send. Just learn different ways to tie them on pinterest or RUclips with different beautiful designs. It may not look perfect, but with the right outfit it can look outstanding. Plus it protects your hair.
I went natural in the early 2000s when you were considered a rebel for wearing natural hair. I went back and forth between braids and my natural hair until the 2010s when the old school natural youtubers came into prominence. I watched a lot of videos about how to style natural hair before I started rocking it 100% of the time. There is so much information out there now on how to take care of and manage natural hair. I feel like all these women who are having meltdowns on the internet about how to take care of their natural hair is doing it for attention. I am just not here for it.
My hair is slightly longer than her's and i can understand her plight. I hate combing my natural hair. I can braid and cornrow etc but it takes soooo much energy and arm strength to comb. I feel like i do a whole gym routine trying to catch up my hair. My hair doesn't seem to like water like everyone recommends. It's harder to detangle when damp and harder to comb after lightly spraying water. They say don't detangle on dry hair and i try not to, but i lose so much hair combing it out after lightly spraying it with water. (I comb my younger siblings hair, it works fine on theirs so it's not that i don't know how much water to use or how to comb out hair gently. I got the whole black hair needs a gentle touch part)
For those who can give, i am very much in need of and willing to take advice 😂
All this lady needed to do was detangle her hair and styled into an afro. All the styles she was trying to do needed length. And her attitude towards her hair was off from from the get go.
She seemed to have already given up before beginning unfortunately
Is detangling not hard and time consuming anyway?
Divide and conquer (curling rods are great for dividing)... Finger detangle cream or moisture before using tools. Detangling brush from roots to ends. Putting you hair in one is not the only style. You can feed sections into each other.
Last tip...Take down and divide you hair before sleeping. Easier to loose the sections and style in the morning. Scarfs are great for emergercies.
When I first started wearing my own hair. ) coming from always wearing braids. I had a hard time styling it. But over the years. I have learned my hair. And it had become easier. I keep it braided because I didn't like to manipulate it every day. But, I will also go out of my way to complement a women wearing her natural hair. I mean crossing a street and/ walking fast to catch up with a women walking ahead. I want them to know we are beautiful with our natural hair God gave us.
It is a mindset. And, when I give compliments I hope that will make them feel more confident. And, for others to see we appreciate each other's beauty. I love our hair. The things it can do.😊
“they don’t even a know what they’re looking at 😭
I love my 4c thick coily hair😅 I’m obsessed with it to where I have to put it in a protective style to stop playing with it😂🤣😂 then I miss it and I have to take it down 🥰I love it 🥳🤩😎
I appreciate this video. Thanks for sharing. Just recently cut my locs of 7years... gotta learn how to style my natural hair
You got this!
When it is that length, you either comb it out into an afro and pat it down, or you do small cane rows (corn rows) from front to back. That is what you do. Growing up in the Caribbean, natural hair is so nromal, I can't understand this distress black women are having. And wearing it out, means an afro.
I heard cane rows and I immediately thought of the Caribbean, I love hearing ppl say that. Sounds so good to me🤗❤️💚 For some reason ppl just don't like wearing afros I guess.
The tears of blood and shrinkage throughout this comment section is borderline embarrassing. It’s like crying about the fact that the sky is blue and grass is green.
All this for hairstyles that are more common and easier to do on straighter hair types? It’s simple-stop styling your hair that way. If it’s difficult, it’s clearly not meant for your hair type. Stop trying to make the grass neon pink.
She literally just needed a side part and to fluff her fro. Bobby pin or two to help emphasize the part. I wore it all the time when my hair was her length. It was chic. Why? Because I wore it on purpose and everyone knew it. Embarrassment is an energy and that’s all she exuded from her hair. It was just cringeworthy smh.
Guys you can wear an afro the whole week with minimal breakage if you have the right routine.
1.On wash day, moisturize (the most inportant part*) and oil your hair while its still wet.
2.shape the hair into how you want the hair to fall when its in the afro.
3.Then use that as a guide to separate the hair into large sections.
4.Plat those sections (in the same direction).
4. Leave the hair to dry. Personally I like to air dry or use a hairdryer on the cool setting.
5. Just unplat it in the morning and replat it when you're ready to go to bed. You can detangle it with a comb when youre replating if you want to wear it stretched out or you can just part it with your fingers if you want to wear your shrinkage.
I understand the womans frustration i did my natural hair yesterday and i laughed at it because my hair dose what it wants its not short or long so im working on length retention but even with longer hair im not delusional i know my hair texture = shrinkage so I just want it to a length that I can wear it how I want. But I've cut out all none kinky or curly hair extensions, wigs and ponytails I'll only wear something that visually looks like a black women's hair. It's actually scary how hard it is to find a decent kinky wig in a pinch on a budget something you'd never have to worry about with bone straight wig. You have to drop $$$ to buy a wig that looks like our natural hair. But as far as the real problem with how we see each others hair can and will get mean I've watched us be called nappy headed than when a darker girl phenotypically black features wears a blonde lace front. It's oh why she wearing that we are our own worst enemy. Let's do better 🤎
The irony is I have been growing my hair but then i never wear it down because i don't like the scratchy feeling on my shoulders and back. So most times I have it in an updo. Technically I am using the length for more volume in the hairstyle.
Thanks for uploading been struggling with my 4a/b/ frizzy super thick hair. This was inspiring
Glad you found it helpful ❤️💚
I have very difficult hair. I have balding/ breakage in the crown. It's long around the edges. For a while I tried a texturizer, instead of a perm. Because I wanted soft natural looking curls. That mess shed so badly, it was worse than a perm. It wasn't healthy. I can't find anything to keep a silk press from reverting or else I would do that. It's almost impossible to get a comb through it after washing. The only reason I care about trying to style it, is so that I don't scare anyone and so that I can feel good about myself. I've been natural for over two years now. I have a decent length. I've started to cut it off down to the scalp a few times, but held off. It's very frustrating trying to comb a bird's nest. It has nothing to do with White standards, but time management and manageability.
Personally I love wearing my hair in an afro. However I have struggled with length retention and I’ve been natural for 6 years. I’ve never found products that work well for me and I’ve tried a lot of different products over the years. That’s the part that has been hard for me. It’s not the fact that I don’t accept my hair, but the fact that I don’t know how to have healthy hair. I live in a predominantly white area, but I was able to find a natural hair salon a few minutes away from my house. Going to start going to her regularly because I need help. Obviously learning to love your hair is important, however sometimes you just need professional help to get you to that place where you can feel comfortable. Just saying you need to learn to love it is easier said than done.
So true, hope you get the help that you need.❤️💚
Water and some conditioner and styled to whatever. Put a scarf on and take your shower and get dress. You can add some gel before the scarf but you have to let it set before thinking it will work. A slick back ponytail is the easiest to do.
She looked gorgeous for real