This is such a great video! So informative and entertaining! Thank you for trusting You Go Natural. We will always celebrate black women loving their natural hair while being fashionable and comfortable! 🤍
@@smilesandthetwistedmd7608 I'm not sure who you are talking to, but that was my problem with the video, it seemed like Toni was addressing it to people like you who are outside of our community, and we do not need ya'll in this conversation
it also should be mentioned, and this is why I went natural, that there are scientific studies that show that relaxers increase a woman's chances of developing fibroids , thyroid issues, and breast cancer. Black women's health is always overlooked and awareness should be brought forward.
The day the natural hair movement has succeeded is when a black woman with 4c hair can walk out of the house, into the workplace, into the church, into the clubs, anywhere without having to manipulate their hair to look presentable to other people.
I get a lot of backlash about my 4C hair from black women and black men. It’s annoying and alarming. The black community makes it seem like 4C hair is a struggle to deal with….it’s not.
@@LilithsCosmicLounge If black women can take the time to learn how to bleach, dye, or melt the lace of a weave….then they can take the time to learn how to care for their hair.
When some say 4c isn't time consuming and easy, I wonder are they really talking about 4c hair or some other texture. 4c hair is time consuming and takes time to detangle and unkink to comb through. It is not wash and wear hair. If it is short then it can be easier but longer 4c hair is time consuming. We need to be honest and admit the maintenance isn't easy as many say. This doesn't mean we hate our hair as many will say.
I think people also try to hard to style their hair. Your 4c hair is presentable if it is clean and moisturized. That’s it. It is done. Anything else you decide to do with it is extra and you’re putting more work on yourself.
I’ve been natural 9 years and I’m just finding the right products for my hair. If you don’t know what works for your hair you will struggle with 4c hair.
People have attached too many rules to 4c hair. Dont grease your hair,wash your hair x amount of times, detangle your hair, stretch your hair. Your haircare routines are unnecessarily long and frustrating because you are trying to change the nature of your hair. Afro shrinks, embrace it. Your hair will never be perfectly detangled, black hair strands love hugging together,embrace it. You guys are completely going against the nature of your hair and as a result your hair will fight back by frustrating you. You wouldn't want someone trying to change your entire personality and being controlled, would you? Your hair has a life too. If anything, all these perceived challenges with natural 4c hair are teaching people to stop being control freaks. Leave your hair alone and it will grow.
100%! White ppl would get as frustrated if they tried everything to convert their bone straight hair into our kinks and coils, as it completely goes against the nature of their hair
If a stylist want u to pay more, come early, or pre do your hair at home before u come to your appointment. DO NOT GO TO THAT STYLIST FIND A NATURL HAIR SALON. Cause a stylist who specializes in NATURL HAIR would NEVER tell u to pay MORE based off your texture and length.
Not true. There are videos on RUclips covering the past years controversy of multiple black hair salons charging more for type 4 (especially 4c hair). This has become to be known as the 4c fee. We must acknowledge the part our own community plays in this.
A very well-known Black NATURAL hair care salon from back in the day (whose owners transitioned into having a natural hair haircare line) used to have a price scale. Only very loose non-Black type curls paid the base fee. Everyone about a 3c or above paid a premium. They had a diverse curly clientele. Due to the price scale, most Black woman paid a premium at that salon.
I'm a Russian woman, and this issue is so interesting and puzzling to me! Thank you so much for the video. As a person from a country where there is almost no black population, only a few years ago I discovered that all this hair that Beyonce and other celebrities have is not their own!! I couldn't even imagine what black women go through with their hair, all the strengthening, wigs etc. To me, as well as to majority of white foreigners (not americans), natural hair on black women is just AS BEAUTIFUL as straight hair, I didn't even know about such deep issues with descrimination etc.
I was taught to hate my natural hair because it's extremely thick and long. My mom hated doing my hair as a child and made it clear to me by hitting me on the head with the brush while doing my hair, always keeping it in the quickest most boring braids that she could do, or just pawning me off on my older sister or grandma because they could see my mom had no empathy while pulling brushes and combs through my hair with frustration. It hurt a lot. My older sister is mixed with white, while I'm a completely black woman without easy straight hair. My mom was annoyed I had regular black girl hair as she and my older sister don't have that. The first time I ever had a good experience getting my hair done, my mom permed it bone straight. My hair wasn't damaged and I got to wear it out for the first time. I loved it, and I didn't have to suffer under my mom's heavy narcissistic hand with thick, "nappy" according to her, hair. I've never worn my hair without a relaxer since age 6. I'll be 37 this year in July. My mom caused me to hate my natural hair, especially the texture.
I remember those pressing comb days. As children we are made to feel something is wrong with our hair. It’s a generational curse and it’s up to us to break it!
Im sorry that happened to you sis. My hair is nappy and my mom's hair is nappy. She hated her own hair. She did that too and hated doing my hair. She also put weave in it at 11. I'm 31 and just now wearing my natural hair for the first time and learning to love myself. I also now do my moms hair too now 😇😈
Omg! reminds me of the beautician's my mom would send me. They would pull and yank at my hair, all the while telling me to hold still and complaining that I was tender headed! Then on top of it they would charge my mom more because my hair was so long (shoulder length) and thick. Mom ended up having them put a relaxer in it. I was nine at the time. Now don't get me going about the relaxers.
Honestly the moment you remove yourself from these societal views the less you care. I really believe we are too busy trying to get other people to accept something we haven’t fully accepted. They do not have to accept our difference. When will we ( collectively) focus on our own…
@@Queen_beulahOfficialAlmost no woman, from any race, fits those standards. Maybe only the rich and famous do, because they also have the money and the time to always look perfect or give that appearance, because when you remove make-up, fake body parts and photoshop, how do they really look like? Often like regular people.
Nah Im telling you as a afrohaired woman when I wear my afro I get hated on by black women. Other races absolutely admire and glorify my hair even asian women say I look like an angel with the flowers in my fro. I get stopped by ppl all the time about my hair. But black women will stick their hands in my hair without asking just to see how “nappy” it is or to make sure its not a wig. They don’t even compliment me on my hair first before they touch me! Its rude and disrespectful asf I don’t care what color they are they need to keep their hands to themselves bc their whole intention behind touching my hair is NEGATIVE and its all about selfhate. Its not mainly society its mainly black women who are afraid to rock afros. White men have followed me around the store just to glorify my hair. Black women need to heal and reprogram themselves. Its so bad when I do get compliments they will automatically start explaining why they wear a wig, or why they are bald for no reason. I never told them how to wear their hair Im always friendly while they roll their eyes. One time people where complimenting me and praising me for wearing my hair and my coworker said she had hair longer than mines until Covid. Then when she walked away everyone laughed bc they knew she was lying and hating. I can write a movie about the hate I receive from my own kind bc of my long 4a hair.
She just said black women's hair is not a monolith everybody feels differently about their hair she's touching on the majority of black women who hate their hair if you're not a part of that majority then this is not for you
@@parisjej i don’t know why some black women think that it’s ok to touch another black women’s hair. it’s almost like some of them feel entitled to do it just because they’re black. black or white or other, i don’t want ANYONE’s hand in MY hair. hands OFF. i’m so sorry that happened to you. you speak the complete truth. i haven’t gotten hate from other races for my hair, it’s from my OWN kind. 🙄 i had my hair in mini braids and another black woman had the AUDACITY to touch the roots of my hair telling me i need to tighten it up. i had the hairstyle for a month and i was planning on taking it down, but either way, i do NOT like to “TIGHTEN” my hair. that leads to DAMAGE. so i will NOT tighten my hair for the sake of pleasing the eyes of others. i love my hair and they hate that i do. keep rocking your hair and don’t let jealous women make you feel bad or ashamed.
@@Ισαβέλα-ψ7τ Thank you for sharing your story. It’s unfortunate we go through these things but I am glad someone can empathize with me bc some people think Im lying. Its so weird. It does make me kind of sad that I get hate from my own kind. I’m not as outgoing as I used to be bc of the bullying and hate I receive when it comes to my hair.
The obsession with hair length is also due to the masculinization of most black women. Society makes us feel like we have to do so much and adhere to so many standards to be seen as feminine , they talk about the BBL girls but look at how they treat BW with average bodies, the fuller the features and the deeper the skin the more they try to associate us with men. So yes the obsession with length is very real and it’s very sad . I struggle with it too because I’m so tall and I feel all this unnecessary pressure to always be received as feminine. I have shaved my hair few times and enjoyed the freedom but also endured what I previously mentioned. I also learned that the right people as in people with common sense never mistakenly Ed me as a boy , especially black women, they saw me as the beauty that I was without all of my hair and I started to realize all that pressure was simply just engraved racism in society. I’ve since grown and am now looking to just grow a huge fro haha.
Came here to say this! They really make us feel like we're not feminine enough and hence our obsession with over-doing feminine aspects; long nails, long lashes, long weaves, etc.
In addition, long hair has been the standard in all the other races: Asians, Latinos and whites have long hair as their “crown” of beauty. For whatever reason that is not for us but we are differently beautiful and can appreciate our beauties💜
Lord Jesus Christ is coming back everyone, please don’t worship celebrities and entertainment, focus on Him alone. I promise there’s more to life than money, partying, homosexuality and music. Hell is real, repent from sinning confess your sins and ask God to forgive you, I know He will if you’re sincere. Anyone who thinks the Name of Lord Jesus Christ is a joke, boldly mocks and scorns Him or takes pleasure in people who do is in for a big unpleasant surprise on judgement day IF they don’t repent and follow Lord Jesus Christ. Hell is very hot, people please repent! In the mighty name of Lord Jesus Christ, Amen 🙏💪✝️💜❤️✝️! Idolatry such as, Islam, Catholicism, Sangomaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Santa Clausism, Confucianism, New Age, Science, Evolution, halloweenism, Harry Potterism, Politics, Donald Trumpism, Easter Bunnyism and other religions/faiths that are outside Biblical Christianity lead to hell! Don’t believe them, believe the Almighty God the Father of Lord Jesus Christ, who begot Him. Our Creator, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is mighty, He doesn’t need a woman to beget a son, He is God. I choose to put my faith in a God who can do anything and everything, a God who has unlimited and infinite power to beget! So, it’s time to confess that Lord Jesus Christ is the Lord and to believe that He died and rose from the grave after three days and you shall be saved if you only obey Him by praying, worshipping, praising, reading the Bible and living holy and righteously according to the Bible. You have to endure until the end, carry your cross daily and build your relationship with God by following Lord Jesus daily until the end. You must never renounce your faith in The Lord Jesus Christ, there’s hell awaiting those who reject/deny Lord Jesus Christ and those who continue living sinfully, even the Christians who don’t want to repent will face the same fate, so please repent beloved people, in Lord Jesus Christ’s mighty and precious Name, Amen.
@@lizangenye1509 it is for us, it’s just with a different texture, long hair is feminine the Bible also teaches this. Lord Jesus Christ is coming back everyone, please don’t worship celebrities and entertainment, focus on Him alone. I promise there’s more to life than money, partying, homosexuality and music. Hell is real, repent from sinning confess your sins and ask God to forgive you, I know He will if you’re sincere. Anyone who thinks the Name of Lord Jesus Christ is a joke, boldly mocks and scorns Him or takes pleasure in people who do is in for a big unpleasant surprise on judgement day IF they don’t repent and follow Lord Jesus Christ. Hell is very hot, people please repent! In the mighty name of Lord Jesus Christ, Amen 🙏💪✝️💜❤️✝️! Idolatry such as, Islam, Catholicism, Sangomaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Santa Clausism, Confucianism, New Age, Science, Evolution, halloweenism, Harry Potterism, Politics, Donald Trumpism, Easter Bunnyism and other religions/faiths that are outside Biblical Christianity lead to hell! Don’t believe them, believe the Almighty God the Father of Lord Jesus Christ, who begot Him. Our Creator, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is mighty, He doesn’t need a woman to beget a son, He is God. I choose to put my faith in a God who can do anything and everything, a God who has unlimited and infinite power to beget! So, it’s time to confess that Lord Jesus Christ is the Lord and to believe that He died and rose from the grave after three days and you shall be saved if you only obey Him by praying, worshipping, praising, reading the Bible and living holy and righteously according to the Bible. You have to endure until the end, carry your cross daily and build your relationship with God by following Lord Jesus daily until the end. You must never renounce your faith in The Lord Jesus Christ, there’s hell awaiting those who reject/deny Lord Jesus Christ and those who continue living sinfully, even the Christians who don’t want to repent will face the same fate, so please repent beloved people, in Lord Jesus Christ’s mighty and precious Name, Amen.
What I find interesting about wigs and weave wearers, is that most say it's a protective style, yet the majority only have straight or traditionally white hair types wigs. Let's call a spade a spade. I said what I said.
fr like just be honest with yourself and reflect on what makes you feel most beautiful and why and maybe how to work past that. if the wig movement was really about protection we'd see lots more extensions with kinky and curly hair. and that's would actually look much more realistic
Preach! Personally, I've only gotten negative comments about my hair from fellow black people. I live in a predominantly black country, the terms fellow black people would come up with to describe afro textured hair (mostly 4c) was very saddening to hear growing up.
It’s a different type of confidence I feel wearing my real hair. I know my real hair sisters understand me. Even if you’re texturized or permed.. it’s a flex to feel sexy in your own hair.
My 10 year old nephew told me yesterday I look better with my natural hair. That was so sweet being that we was just looking at my ig pics and no one was talking about hair
I’ve fallen in love with my natural hair. Mastering it can bring you so much confidence! It took some time to learn how to do it, I’ve been natural for 6 years and I still learn new things about my hair. When I get tired or don’t have time to deal with my hair, box braids are my best friend. And I’ve learned to do them myself! I can’t even imagine getting a sew in or relaxer anymore. Those days with that tragic, dusty, crusty, 2 inch long, broken up, heat damaged leave out are over!! Nothing but long beautiful textured locks in my future 😎
This is the reason why in Wal-Mart and Target our products cost more than the white girls do. They know the importance we place on something that we can never change.
@@preciousunderwood1512 Have you thought about buying your hair products from the Dollar Tree, Family Dollar or Big Lots? They all have Black hair care products and cost a lot less than Target and Walmart
@@preciousunderwood1512 This isn’t true at all. Our products cost more because our products tend to have better ingredients. Compare Mielle, UFD, and Camille Rose to Herbal Essence, Garnier, and Pantene. Concentrated products with good ingredients vs watered down products with filler ingredients. Of course our products are going to cost more. Now when we buy from hair shops that’s a different story because you know those hair shop beauty supply owners like to price gouge tf outta us. I buy black hair care online and it’s the same story as target because our brands tend to have better ingredients which is why it costs more, and I’ll gladly pay for it. You should look up healthy studies on white hair care products. Scary stuff.
It’s so sad that the majority of beauty schools don’t teach black hair at allllll We’re not even tested on it. I was only taught how to apply a relaxer ☹️
That’s actually changing. It’s now becoming mandatory for beauty schools to teach black hair, and there have been talks about making it so non-black salons also have to be knowledgeable in how to do black hair.
It will grow slow but certainly stronger then snow bunny!Black dark women with natural hair have no ideia how extremely sexy and beautiful they are 🤔 💪🏿💪🏿💪🏿
@@lauramatheis9069 Yea let's ignore the bit of the history she gave us and it makes sense. You act likr society has no influence literally growing up with barbie dolls that looks nothing like you. Only nowdays I see barbie diversity would have helped alot back then.
Just looking through the comments here, and I’m kind of confused. I say this as a black woman with arm pit length 4B/4C hair. What is it that you guys are doing that takes hours? I wash style and detangle my hair every week and wear it in a wash and go, and it takes me 2 to 3 hours maximum, and I don’t touch it for the rest of the week. So what is everyone else doing? Could a huge part of disliking natural hair, be due to doing too much? Edit: this comment is 2 years old but people are still responding. It takes me about 1.5 hours a week to do my hair now, I have better technique and I use better products.
Same here!!!! My hair does not take my whole day and it still bomb as hell after every wash day. My styles last well over a week. But that’s because I have a SOLD regimen. I don’t think these women have totally figured out their hair yet.
Same! I only wear wash and go's. Shampoo, condition and style once a week. The entire process...3 1/2 hours max. To maintain throughout the week I wear a bonnet or buff to bed, fluff and shape hair with my fingers in the morning. The wash and go is a low maintenance hair style.
People are fighting against the nature of their hair. This stretching,detangling Black hair shrinks,our hair strands do not stand in isolation. If we embraced our shrinkage more and let our hair be we would probably have more love for our hair. Natural hair is only frustrating when you try to change its nature constantly.
I live in Africa. Almost everyone has kinky hair. Girls with relaxed hair,alot of people envy girls with kinky hair. But they don't want it cause of the stress
As someone who’s been natural for 5 years now, I’m tired. I’ve tried everything, done multiple big chops, it never gets easier. My hair was even shoulder length at one point and it didn’t make me any happier because it’s so coarse. I hate my 4c hair and I wish my curls were a bit looser so I wouldn’t have to spend 6+ hours in the bathroom every night smh I’m tired of being told I HAVE to like my hair, it’s so much work! It’s especially frustrating when it comes from girls with type 3 curls; they’ll NEVER know what it’s like to deal with constant breakage.
Hey love, thank you for taking the time to share your personal experience dealing with your natural hair. I completely understand the frustration that could come with dealing with your hair, but that’s why I said to embrace the versatility of our hair. Do whatever style or technique you want with it, but just make sure you’re caring for it to the best of your ability. Honestly hair will always grow back so you literally can do what you want! I am all for that!
I have natural hair, and I’m always surprised when people say it takes them hours to do their hair. I’m not being disrespectful, but I’m actually curious-what are you doing to it every day? I’m a 4C, and except for the 30 minutes or so I spend deep conditioning each week and the time it takes for my monthly barber cuts, it takes me like 5 minutes in the mornings to get my hair popping-I wet it, add some product and go. And my hair has grown beyond a TWA, so it has some length. And I know I don’t look crazy because I get compliments on my hair all the time, so I’m unsure of what I’m missing.
My two cents is we black women as a collective need to stop policing each other’s hair. It’s become exhausting. Whatever ur thing is, however wearing ur crown makes u feel beautiful and most importantly content , is what matters
PREACH!! Are there this many videos of women of other races doing this? We are not the only race that does stuff to their hair! the difference is that those people don't care its a waste of time really🙄
@@destinydivine8465 Me af I think the reason is bc nobody knows much about their hair type or they want to change it so they spend money until they find the right products. Ik I did after I went natural.
That's why I have always disliked the term "good hair" black folk need to get away from that term. As far as I'm concerned all hair is good!!! I'm just sayin...
I can speak from my experience that I honestly hated my 4C hair. It was a lot to do so I recently relaxed it and it’s so much more manageable for me . But recently I went to the DR , & saw the black women embrace their crown and I was like 🥺 dang now why did I do this to me ?! I got treated so well overseas compared to the men here in America . European beauty standards are real and can damage you. Do what’s best for you. I may just go back natural cause the way the black women looked at me like wtf is wrong with her hair sent me in a spiral 😂😂😂😂
@K C lol I’m not arguing babe! 😂 It’s just a pet peeve of mine when I tell people read between lines . I’m sorry if my response seemed mean or anything 🥺💕
Thank God a black female as u talks openly about this topic, 2 all my black women,... know that ur all beauties with ur own natural hair, many thanks 4 uploading this video Respect 2 u Mrs Toni
Bro natural hair products isn’t more expensive than wigs that’s the most delusional statement I’ve heard do you know how much women spend every month on wigs and weaves
I don’t hate my hair. I hate how hard it is to keep it healthy. I love how my natural hair looks but there’s always something. I hate a lot of the low manipulation hairstyles 😫 they not cute to me or childish. I love my fro, my curl pattern and how my hair looks on me but it definitely is a hassle. I can’t never just NOT HAVE SPLIT ENDS. I’m always cutting my hair off cuz these dang ends but I want my hair to grow longer and bigger.
Im telling you as a afrohaired woman when I wear my afro I get hated on by black women. Other races absolutely admire and glorify my hair even asian women say I look like an angel with the flowers in my fro. I get stopped by ppl all the time about my hair. But black women will stick their hands in my hair without asking just to see how “nappy” it is or to make sure its not a wig. They don’t even compliment me on my hair first before they touch me! Its rude and disrespectful asf I don’t care what color they are they need to keep their hands to themselves bc their whole intention behind touching my hair is NEGATIVE and its all about selfhate. Its not mainly society its mainly black women who are afraid to rock afros. White men have followed me around the store just to glorify my hair. Black women need to heal and reprogram themselves. Its so bad when I do get compliments they will automatically start explaining why they wear a wig, or why they are bald for no reason. I never told them how to wear their hair Im always friendly while they roll their eyes. One time people where complimenting me and praising me for wearing my hair and my coworker said she had hair longer than mines until Covid. Then when she walked away everyone laughed bc they knew she was lying and hating. I can write a movie about the hate I receive from my own kind bc of my long 4a hair.
What’s sad is, WE are suppose to be the MAIN SOURCE of support with each other. WE are the only ones with this type of hair texture! However, like you said, from decades of self hate we have came to this- degrading each other. Not only degrade but being jealous, envy…OF OUR OWN BLACK SISTERS! This pisses me off & jt hurts my heart ♥️😥😔 we must get better.
Don’t worry about them . You continue to wear that BEAUTIFUL natural hair. Those black women are jealous because they don’t have the confidence to wear it.
They’re the same women that only feel confident in Asian women wigs lol. Imagine walking around confidently wearing Asian women’s hair and wonder why so many non bw think they’re better then bw, that’s literally putting them on a pedestal by wearing their hair.
Thnx for discussing a topic that was really really important. I know lots of bw hate black hair texture, and I understand. That’s why I do my hair myself mostly if you don’t like my hair you shouldn’t be allowed to touch it. I’m not here to encourage anyone to love anything, I just wanna remind us that the power is still in our hands.
@@KC-ed1dj no. Unfortunately because everybody is just used to it I guess. 🤷🏽♀️ they literally have zero education in black hair. Everything taught is for white people.
And you know i don’t feel pretty with it but i don’t mind it. Even though it hurts to take care of and takes forever.. I know i will never get what i want with my 4c hair and that is what i think it is. I’m so damn tired of seeing everyone with straight wigs all the time, forcing our hair to match, ITS NOT GOING TO MATCH, it’s not supposed to. People at work tell me edge controls i need to try. My shit isn’t supposed to be straight, it doesn’t slick down because it’s not supposes d to. I don’t think it will ever be the standard to rock my 4c hair, and let me reiterate again, i wish every one would wear theirs, but i know I’ll never be treated the way i want to be if i do.
It’s sad to even have to read this but you’re speaking from truth. Much love to you sister. Forget what others won’t accept and also their stupid recommendations ..keep loving YOU.. I’m sure you’re beautiful in all your natural ness ITS ALL YOURS.. MUCH LOVE
As hard as it’s to take care of my hair. I feel the most prettiest in my natural hair ,so I learned to love it , growing up in Africa helped a lot because many hair dresses know what to do with it.
I definitely think people shouldn’t be afraid to be their unique selves. Everyone is starting to look the same it’s sad. We need to embrace the features that make us different. THAT is beautiful💖if we all did that instead getting all this surgery and stuff there wouldn’t be a societal beauty standard because we would all learn to see the absolute beauty in everything and everyone!
I told my hair stylist that I will be transitioning from relaxed to natural hair, she said if I was crazy because my hair is 16 inches long, and it won't be pretty anymore 🤷🏾♀️
My dad has been a hairstylist (for white hair) for 30 years. He HATES getting mixed people or black people with A LOT of hair. He hates how much extra time it takes. He never charged more though. He’s just complain after. Hairstylists used to charge for the services not what your hair looks like. Even if my dad had to try to lift someone who’s dyed their hair black to blonde, he wouldn’t charge more. You charge for the service, the the products used, etc. not based on what the clients hair looks like and by doing that he was able to take in HELLA tips. I mean, people would give him $40-$100 tips. BUT again, my dads 30 years in the game so things have clearly changed DRASTICALLY.
Black women are the only women who aren’t allowed to either manipulate their without it being called self hatred. Like I have white and Asian friends who literally bleach, dye straighten their curls, wear weave aka extensions to achieve the look they want. For us it’s just so much scrutiny and I feel like we’re appealing to the everyone else except ourselves
white and asian don't have a community called natural hair and neither majority of them need to wear wigs and lace front at all especially with a different hair type then theirs
Not really. The difference is other races most of the time change their hair it’s still their hair texture. Y’all say this but why is this change never your hair texture? I KNOW you see the resurgence of relaxers and how the wig game is always about being ‘layed’. Don’t play dumb bc you don’t want to confront it properly.
@@yema4755 Go outside. Women with straight hair gets perms to make their hair appear fuller and curly. WHY does it even matter if someone wants to change the hair texture? If it aint on your head let people do them. The whole point is we need to stop policing how other people live. If i wanted to shave my hair off and paint it green and blonde I can. It's none of your business, and im not self-hating because that's how I want to wear my hair. Self-hating is concerning how others perceive you, so you bend to their will instead of doing what's best for you.
That’s because BW are the only women that manipulate their hair out of self hatred in such high numbers. Let’s be honest BW motivation behind changing the appearance of their hair is completely different from the other races. Other races usually enhance what they already have or do a slight switch up for a short while. BW for the most part don’t want to “enhance” their natural looks. They want to cover them due to shame. For example: A WW may see her short brown hair as boring so she’ll bleach it blonde or ad extensions in the SAME TEXTURE. But even if she can’t change it she won’t have any issues going out in public with it. The average BW on the other hand see short natural hair as unsightly. So manipulation is a must to them. They will absolutely not go out in public without manipulating their hair to the max. So if they can’t get a straight wig or weave installed, then they rather walk around with a bonnet on than to let their hair be seen in its natural state.
I’m going to say something controversial… Not all black women have to like shrinkage, hair that will not grow no matter what you do, having a difficult time combing your hair, breaking combs, or having a painful time combing it and trying to style it… We as black women have different hair textures and experiences and not all bw go through what I listed but some do …..I don’t think you have to like something that’s difficult for you if you’re having a hard time with it… My hair is a mixture of type 3 and 4a and I hate combing my hair with a passion because it’s literally painful because I’m tender headed and I’ve had difficulty growing parts of it no matter what I did and I don’t like it and guess what I still don’t and I OK with saying that there’s nothing wrong with that …I don’t have to like it Or things such as shrinkage… I refuse to have to make black women feel they must like parts of their hair that they actually don’t like for their own personal reasons if they are in fact struggling with it I don’t hate my texture is very nice in my opinion (most Black people tell me I have good hair and I know that that sounds ignorant to many but y’all know what that is… But that doesn’t mean I don’t have difficulties) but there have been some difficulty still at times and I don’t like it and that’s OK
And that does NOT mean that you hate yourself. I get so tired of people saying it's self hate because you don't totally enjoy your hair for whatever reasons. We're not totally defined by our hair.
Yeah I agree it’s totally fine for other textures to complain and outright say that they hate their hair but we must not dare complain else it’s self hate. That’s not always true...we are women too and human and we get to not like it sometimes or at all if we choose!
@@thelmathomas9399 You know there is this thing called a spray bottle that you can fill up with water and all you'd have to do with it is spray your hair wait a few minutes then use a wide tooth comb, part your hair in sections then comb from the ends to the roots. It's not that hard you just don't know what you are doing.
our problem is when we think of long flowing hair as the standard of femininity and beauty which stems from whiteness. that’s what we grew up learning from movies,books, commercials. even though our hair can do all types of different things, we are way too obsessed with “length” when our hair is simply not made that way in its natural state. and that’s because of what we’ve been surrounded by. we don’t see and hear enough positive descriptions about our coils.
It does not stem from whiteness i saw my grandmother, aunties grow long hair, their tribes in West Africa with long hair. The truth is that alot of black women are either ignorant or lazy about RESEARCHING and taking care of their hair. Simple
@@sadraolaedo4733 I know right!!! like this comment is what black women are conditioned to think that long hair only belongs to white people. Like girl stop being lazy go grow your hair and enjoy it🙄
@@sadraolaedo4733 i don't know if it's laziness or its because there isn't a lot of research to read. We need more black scientists doing the work we need to make our hair flourish.
I am white and I have always loved black women’s hair. The braids, styles always draw me in. You can do so much and it’s beautiful! White hair is basic 😂 Plus your skin is so beautiful!
That is a fact , many "whites" says this admire the styling of it I always knew this. We are Afro women is accurate terminology we are not really black women. It is our unique hair not our skin.
I'm glad my family didn't make me feel insecure about my hair. As long as its clean and the style is cute to me and doesn't take up too much of my time I'm good to go.
We have been conditioned to want what we don’t naturally have and so it makes us seem ungrateful for what we DO have. Our hair is our BRAND AND BIRTHRIGHT. The colonizers wanted what they couldn’t grow therefore developing jealousy and the need to have us cover it up. No wonder why our hair is called our “GLORY”.. Love on it because it is a plant 🌱 that needs continued maintenance & watering. Our hair grows towards the sun ☀️ BECAUSE IT IS ALIVE… Remember that. ASE & LOVE TO OUR ANCESTORS
@@joyceg5421 y’all don’t look better than the women who wear Afros, let a black women walk in with a wig( ok nothing we haven’t seen before) then another one walks in with a Afro ( she a goddess! She a queen! Love her hair!) y’all missing out on the praising and the beauty and glory that comes with an Afro. A black woman with a Afro and yellow clothes on will always outshine any other woman who steps in a room.
Sadly based on my experience of working in the food service industry I quickly noticed that when my hair is in a afro textured hairstyle like braids, locks and twists people are very mean, rude, impatient and ruff towards me they are hesitant to say hello, look me in my face and have a good conversation with me. but when I wear soft wavy Marcia Brady hair ( minus the color) people treat give me tons of love, patience, and support. People are friendly, kind and helpful towards me as well.
I guess I was lucky in that I never felt bad for having the hair that I do. I have type 4A hair (for some context) but I used to think I had 4C because of how dense my hair was (and still is)... and I didn't know leave in conditioner was a thing until like 2016😅 The only negative memories I have for my hair was my mum yanking my hair in efforts of detangling it, giving me headaches and of course the pain from my butt sitting down on the floor for hours. Although it was very painful, I appreciate my mum doing what she could to take care of my hair. And always telling me that I looked 'cute' with it and that its 'long' looking back it wasn't long at all, but I was the only in the family with a lot of hair being the only girl at the time. My mum really made me wear it with pride😂. During the mid 2000's when I was a kid I wanted to perm my hair since another girl had her hair permed and I thought it looked nice. My mum would always deny my request saying that I'll ruin my hair. I knew where she was coming from as she herself permed her hair continuously when she was a teenager and till this day her hair is really damaged from it. I'm thankful that she didn't let me do it, instead she was always very open to trying out hairstyles she never done before (like crochet) on my head. She'd watch youtube videos and everything! I know that my mum is glad that my hair is as long and healthy as it is today; she tells me that my hair right now is her goal. She really taught me and my sister that we can do a lot with out hair without damaging it and I think the fact that she was very open with trying out these new hairstyles helped my sister and I love our hair for what it is! Of course it also does help when your hair is 'long' by 'black hair standards' (I got a lot of comments from other black girls in my school who wished their hair was as long as mine -- again my hair was like neck length it weren't that long back then) but I honestly think it was because my hair's health was always out first compared to the actual 'look' of it. *The TLDR is: I'm thankful that my mum wanted me to learn what she did much later in life -- that black hair is beautiful, and deserves to be taken care of! Even if you gotta endure a little pain to find out what really works for you! Learning to love your hair also can mean experimenting with it, but always out of appreciation and curiosity of what your hair can do, not what you can conceal about it!*
your mom is very cool for that! but my mom also used to yank my hair and that is a horrible energy to be doing hair in... at least in my scenario. if you have some extra time, try to patiently work with the knots and give it to her detangled. ALSO try Ethiopian hair butter.. you can make it at home. it will help your hair so much
I’m blessed to have a momma who was always gentle and taught me how to love my hair. I also was tired of my hair and wanted a perm, my momma said no like yours did. Thank The Lord our Mothers!
I don't hate my hair..I'm 30 and just came into the confidence of embracing my natural hair. I have pretty hair and I'm not afraid to show it off anymore
i LOVE my natural hair. I remember having shoulder length relaxed hair and its all i identified by when i cut it all off it was the most freeing thing I had ever did I wish I could go back to that night just to feel the freedom one more time!
I resonate with what you were saying at 5:22 so much. When I went natural in 2018, I didn’t want to go to school because I was anxious about my peers seeing me with short hair when I know I decided to transition from relaxed hair for myself. And now my Mum and I have noticed how typical everyday brands such as garnier and others are finally seeing the value of making products for black hair. Honestly the whole thing is crazy
As a African living in Africa i really never knew that black women in the west were made to feel bad about there hair .. like here in West Africa it is deemed as wierd and not attractive when u hve loose curls as it is usually associated witn damaged hair
Yes, the reason why you see black American on tv with straight hair back in the day, was because natural hair wasn’t accepted . Some weren’t allowed to go to prom dances or work if their hair was natural
I support black women , whatever they want to do to their hair. I recently texturizer and I am so happy with it. Your hair is only a PART of you. It doesn't make you who you are.....
Absolutely agree. I like my hair but I really hate doing it. The pain, the time, the energy. Just no! My identity as a black woman is more than some hair. People should be allowed to do whatever. I do not Stan naturalistas
You used a hair texturizer, I had my hair texturised since I was 7. Nowadays, it’s hard to find genuine hair products for my hair. I decided to go natural (I might texturise in the future).
It’s so sad that black women have to explain why we like our hair or not , do what works for YOU. Everyone’s hair regime may not work for one. It’s about learning what your hair likes. Taking time to learn and listen to your hair needs. If you wear a wigs Rock that ishh then Natural hair rock that ishh like no one can tell you nothing Relaxer rock that ishhh Black women do not owe anyone any explanation as to why they do what they do for their heads . I don’t see any other race having these conversations and over explaining we gotta stop this .
Great commentary. I am one of those black women who loves her "naps". I switch it up from time to time and may throw on a wig. Recently I wore a short wig to work for a few days because it was time for a haircut and I couldn't get my hair to do what I wanted it to do. The Wyt people kept telling me how "stunning" I was when I wore the wig. I was actually offended. I couldn't wait to wear my natural hair again.
I love this video! Great content! It nearly had me in tear because I struggled to love my hair. I kept my natural hair hidden for years because I didn’t know what to do with it. I wouldn’t even wash it. I would go to one beautician to wash it an another one to install my wig/weave. Until one day I was at training and didn’t have time to get my hair done before leaving and I took my weave out and realized how much hair I had. Of course when I returned home. I went back to my normal routine but now I am really trying to embrace my hair. A few weeks ago it felt liberating just to wear my own hair. I didn’t have to worry about my wig sliding, or my braids being too tight or the stress on my edges. It felt good just to rub my fingers through my hair but enough of me. Thank you for this video and I pray that it will be inspirational to other.
As a child, I never hated my hair. I was conditioned to hate my hair..from my own family. My light skin family with so called good hair 😑I love my hair again
Thank you for making this video. Whenever I get box braids I like to keep them in for a long time; a woman who goes to my church would always stare right at my head, whenever she approached me. One day I was in the car with her, just the two of us, before I even got in the car she asked, “Now, when you getting your braids done?” “Have you talked to your mom about it?” She talked about it for a full 10 minutes. She acted as if it was her job to ask me about my hair. That situation pissed me off and I haven’t talk to her since. The amount of black women that stare at my hair is very disrespectful and uncomfortable. Another woman at my church… Whenever we talk to each other, she doesn’t even look at me, she just stares at my hair the whole time. Black women are the reason other black women are insecure about their hair.
As a mixed girly with 3A hair I finally understand the anger some people have towards the natural hair movement for being "taken over" by people with curly or wavy hair instead of kinky hair. I think the natural hair movement should stay as it is tho, it definitely helped me with wearing my natural hair and Im sure it also helped many other people. But there definitely is a need for what the curly girl method did for us curly girlies, for people kinky hair
I don’t hate my hair, I just need products that make my hair easy to maintain. I don’t want to be a slave to my hair in terms of maintaining hair straightening and afraid to sweat it out due to exercising. Tired of perms.
Not all black women hate their hair..I absolutely LOVE my hair!! I think our hair is very misunderstood and society associates long flowing hair as beautiful and coily kinkier hair as "Nappy"...I went Natural about a year and a half ago and tbh I didn't know anything about my hair,and I really studied my hair and relied on youtubers to teach me how to take care of my hair..this was all a process and I am absolutely in Love with my hair. Tbh it's steps for me because I'm now crossing the path of feeling comfortable to style my hair and wear my natural hair and not wigs.So last night , I actually did my hair put makeup on and posted pictures on FB of me and my natural hair...I was so scares because this was like a revealing for me to my friends who have Never seen me natural..and tbh they embraced and told me how beautiful I am..I am happy and this for me is TRULY a journey❤💯...I Hate when Black women say they hate their hair because your HAIR is apart of you and God given and being in that mindset is self hate...learn your Hair and embrace it..it's so beautiful..and I'm very happy and thankful for my beautiful hair❤💘💝
I really did feel this video. I remember crying to my mom as a little girl. Asking her why I look the way I do. As a black girl I actually have more of a light sandy colored skin. So I was teased for being "too light" and for having "ugly" hair. But as my teenage years hit, I gained confidence and self love for who I truly am. I now appreciate the curls that I have and love my skin. I had to learn how to love my 4c hair. How to stop straightening it and actually just leaving it alone and letting it grow. I usually braid my natural hair and wear it just as that. Kinda like box braids without the weave I put it in buns, ponys and wear it down. I even once put it in twist and used my shrinkage for bangs. It was really cute. I'm now in high school, my last year. And seeing this video was a breath of fresh air. I really do wish 14 year old me could have seen this. This video really does mean a lot to me. 🥺💕
@@Kingtone1209 Depends on the person. I have type 4 hair and I love all natural hair, yes including type 4 hair, but I’ve met other type 4’s who say they love natural hair, but actually mean type 3.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809 exactly it depends on the person. It’s foolish to says guys, when I happen to be a guy that doesn’t care about or know about 4, 5, 6 type hair
@@Kingtone1209 I’m glad you’re not like most however majority of black men do prefer straight, wavy or curly hair from my experience. I have thick 4c hair and rarely get compliments from any guys on my hair. A few more now that I have locs but when I rocked my fro I didn’t hear much positivity. The most positive comments I received were from white people smh .
I'm a white Slavic girl (from Europe) and I absolutely love different ethnic features of people from all over the world. It hurts to see such beautiful black hair hidden and replaced with plastic (or real hair) straight weaves... so much work, not letting the skin on the head breathe 😢 and it often doesn't even doesn't look good! it's sad that people have been convinced natural hair isn't beautiful, that it's not tidy or even clean... it makes me angry, I hope people stop believing this old fake colonialist consumerist society bullshit 🤘
That is so true. The other people see the beauty in our hair except our own. But we all have been convinced at one point by the devil that whatever God used for our appearance isn’t good enough. I’ve seen the ones with the straighter hair make mistakes that permanently damaged their hair just like ours. Their problem is the frequent dying or bleaching of the hair. And I think dying or bleaching to the root is even more deadly then perms.
They have convinced themselves no one I have ever been around has said black hair isnt beautiful. Our hair does set us apart and makes us unique and as a latina woman I would prefer to see black women in their natural look because its part of them and distinguishes us all for our uniqueness. A black woman with a fro is one of the most beautiful to me. I see power and strength and beauty. But I cant stand black women always comparing themselves to non black womens looks when we dont compare ourselves to them. We appreciate them not trying to copy non black hair styles because we know its out of insecurity
@@incelslayerrrr8597Guess what? Your experience doesn't change the experience of black women. Congress literally had to pass the CROWN Act (please look it up) because of how frequently hair discrimination occurs. Black women have been suspended and turned down from jobs because our natural hair is considered unprofessional.
@StanT-rt1xc Oh hush up. It's a big enough issue because a literal law has been passed concerning it in multiple states. People have been sent home from work or school for having box braids and not straightening their hair. No one said anything about going outside without doing anything to afro hair. All hair is visually appealing when taken care of. Straight hair is not really visually appealing if it isn't styled, so that's ultimately just your opinion. Creating imagined scenarios such as someone being self conscious about their nose is your sad attempt to deflect from reality. The issue is not about the "world" owing black people anything, it's about employers and principals providing basic respect. People are obviously concerned and obviously have enough free time to worry about afro hair because it's often a conversation starter. Have a blessed one.
Ewww chile!!! You did that, with this!!! I’m sharing to my IG! Beautifully put together! I love You Go Natural!!! This was the push to go ahead and change my profile picture here on YT…gotta find one! But yeah…💪🏾🙏🏾😘🖤✨
This is seriously a great video explained by such a well-spoken person like you. But the reality is so hard for someone with my hair texture. And I'm tired of my hair so much so I am going to have to have my hair changed to be more manageable. I just think that life is unfair for our hair to be soooo complicated to manage while some other folks don't have to worry that much about their hair. I am so tired of mine that I don't care about being natural anymore I'm gonna fix it. I am done! 😞
I suggest you try new products. I was feeling the same way and I switched products to Aunt Jackie and switch shampoo to cream of nature. No issues since.
As a black male, black hair is very unique and that is our identity, I understand what society has put black women through and it’s disgusting, but it’s okay to love your self all you have is you stop trying to make others feel comfortable while losing your self doing it, self love is power and that’s all we got our dignity.
This is very well executed. I looked up why women don't like wearing their natural hair and to get a perspective from someone other than my girlfriend and this came up. Thanks for going into detail!
If I had a coin for every time a hair stylist tried to coerce me into chemically treating my hair because it has to be more "braid-able" before they can braid it 🙄
My mom always told me my hair was beautiful. When I was little, my mom kept it braided up, so my hair was longer. Other black girls pulled it to see if it was fake and they hated me. LOL. I was surprised to find out my hair was no prettier than anyone else's as I got older. Moms, get that brainwashing in early and often! I can't wear wigs and weaves though. I feel stupid in them.
WE . OURSELVES . BLACK WOMEN . we need to stop being so hard on ourselves and one another no matter WHAT we do with our hair . just embrace each other’s beauty . Hair is an accessory - people change it very often .
I’m sorry but I hate my 4c hair it’s just too much I rather have hair that grows really fast and where you can just put it in a ponytail and call it a day people with straight or Even wavy hair are so lucky I wish I didn’t have 4c hair it’s too delicate which means it’s too prone to damage and breaking off yes I agree about everything in this video but 4c hair is just too much for me😭😭😭😭
I’m so sorry you feel that way. I have 4c, thick hair and I used to feel the same way. One day I was curious about my natural hair under my relaxer and went natural. Once I began to accept that God made no mistakes on us and our hair I began to love it. Acceptance will help you to let go of the hate. Yes it takes more time but it is rewarding as well. We look different for a reason and that’s beautiful. Now if time is an issue their are lower maintenance styles . After years of loose natural hair I locd my hair. I can finally wash and go and have true freedom with my natural hair. I hope one day you will love the hair God gave to you.
I can only speak for me. The most attractive for me is either without make-up or with light make-up. With black women I love when they wear natural hair or maybe straighten their hair only lightly.@@Anisa-wi5zj
I love natural hair. But, it's a lot of work. I got locs in 2015 because I was tired of doing my hair. Plus, I wanted long hair without flat ironing it and heat damage. Locs are more manageable. I am happy that I embraced my natural hair at 19. I am 36.5 now.
Personally I do hate my natural hair, but not because I hate natural black hair. I hate mine specifically because of the fact that it's so thin and not full at all it makes me annoyed I just prefer having it big or not at all, I don't even care for length
Have you considered getting yourself checked? I mean you could be having an internal issue that impacts your hair density, it's good to seek a professional help to get it out of the way
It took me forever to love my hair completely . I been natural for about 6 going on 7 years . I just locced my hair last week and I love it . I hate the hair type chart it’s problematic. Our hair has no rules for everybody . It’s supposed to be kinky curly . We have to just love our hair period . !!! It’s a form of self love and care
Very informative video on existing realities and into the mid-sets of black women. However, I do disagree with 1 major thing said about black women. The Author here says just because you see a black woman wearing a wig, weave, extensions, etc... don't mean they hate their hair. My problem with the statement is just the fact that they are wearing something which isn't their natural hair, tells others that they wish their hair was different than what it really is! Even if they only wear it because they don't feel like dealing with their natural hair as she says in the video.
Or I don't want to deal with it. I locked my hair so I'm good, but before I was spending so much money and time on my hair. I want to be able to wake up in the morning, moisturize my hair and be on my way. Before, it would take a lot just to maintain any style I had. I couldn't leave my hair alone. I will not be ashamed for not liking my hair. I like it now that it's locked and I don't have to worry about, but before it was a struggle.
"I will not be ashamed for not liking my hair." I wish more than 1 comment could be pinned. I can relate to everything you just said. Why is it so hard for some people to accept that not everyone can/will set aside hours at a time, just to deal with their hair, so they can leave their home for an indefinite period of time? So many women in the comments expect every black woman to "suck it up" and spend that extended time that many people can't/don't have on their hair, because what works for them and what is attainable in their own personal lives, must work for everyone else. Not liking something is not synonymous to hating it.
Let’s talk about black women (specifically those with 4a, 4b, 4c hair, pasting their edges to their forheads. Where did that come from? To me, its an attempt to emulate mixed hair textures where the edges lay down naturally with no gel. Can we make puffy, “nappy” 4c edges cool? Like….we aint gotta copy other textures all the time. Smh
Omigosh this!!! I've heard people I know say using gel on your edges completes a hairstyle and makes it look "sleek". However, as 4c girly, it doesn't make sense to have these licked-down looking edges and a coily puff behind that?? It seems very remnant of texturism. The whole thing doesn't make sense to me and upon that, my edges do not lay at all; give me two hours and I sweat it off. Also, I dunno, brushing and laying your edges down every morning seems like quite some manipulation and my edges have finally regrown back healthier than ever so...hard pass.
Yes many mixed and biracial people have type 4 hair. Also many pacific islanders, Non Black Arab/ Jewish ethnicity people and Sicilians and some white Spanish people who live in Spain have 3C hair and they have less than 20% African DNA or no recent or none at all in the past 1000 years on DNA reports.
Thanks for sharing sis. This was excellent information. Notwithstanding what you have said but black women need to know their hair is like a hat to protect them from the sun. You'll find if you have natural hair it changes with the weather. This make us very unique. Keep rocking your natural hair beautiful!
My hair is BEAUTIFUL. I love my natural hair at all lengths. I’ve had my hair really short to long where as though everyone thought it was fake but it was all mine. But the MAINTENANCE of my hair was insane and not conducive to my patience and time. My hair would be a tangled mess 3 days after spending 3 hours detangling it during wash day…I am tender-headed and my hair would ALWAYS knot at the root. So just imagine the pain. I would always dread wash day because I knew even after 3 days my hair would be sooo tangled so wash day would literally be all day. And whenever I washed it so much hair would come out bc of my scalp condition. I treated my hair very well. I was gentle, I kept up with trims, I deep conditioned, I used protein when needed, I kept my scalp and hair moisturized in between wash days with my homemade scalp tonic, i ate right, I did EVERYTHING for my hair. But it still was high maintenance and if I slacked on ANY part of my regime it would be a complete nightmare. Eventually i realized my hair prefers not being touched. Point blank period. I have locs now and it’s been smooth sailing. I don’t miss my loose hair at all. I threw away all of my products combs and brushes. I feel like I can take a deep breath because my hair is happy not to be pulled so much anymore. It’s been 7 months I can’t wait for a year then 2 years. Locs are maintenance but WAY lower than loose natural hair. I have more freedom and way less worries. I spend less time on my hair and my obsession and sadness over my hair subsided. 🌈 It’s never “just hair”. I mean it is but it also isn’t. Hair is part of your self expression. And loving your hair is apart of loving yourself. And that’s very very important. Idc if my hair isn’t the standard of beauty. That standard is based on racist ideologies anyway. 🤷🏾♀️ I am all for black women doing whatever they want with their hair. Natural, wigs, weave, straighten/silk press, locs, shaved, whatever suits you and your lifestyle. It’s your hair, you’re the one who has to manage it. Do what’s best for you. Just be careful with relaxers. They are directly linked to uterine cancer and fibroids. There’s a class action going on as we speak. (The women on the relaxer boxes have spoken out and it turns out they were natural the whole time. They just had their hair pressed out. Food for thought.)
I highly disagree about this ‘people wanting to be close to whiteness.’ Most people would prefer to have brown skin and curly hair, like in the 3’s on the hair chart. Those features are actually much closer to blackness than they are to whiteness. Two fully white people cannot have a child with type 3 curly hair, just not possible. That hair types come from mixing with a black person. On the other hand, a black person doesnt have to mix with a European for the child to get a looser curl pattern, they can mix with any variety of person, whether that be Mexican, American Indian, Asian, etc. They all have straight hair, and a black person who has tightly coiled hair mixing with them, leaves the child with curly hair. So you saying that everyone wants to be white is completely false. As a multiracial guy (West African/black, American Indian, and white in that order) with type 4a hair, I am very happy with my skin tone but would prefer 3c hair due to the looser curl pattern. That has nothing with me wanting to be white, I don’t want white skin or straight hair. I want Afro hair with slightly looser curls than mine.
I hated my 4c hair up until last year. It was hard to manage, I spent so much money on products and more. However, I big chopped last year and kept my hair in braids most of the time, Using in between braid styles to learn something new about my hair. Some of the things I learned so far is: my porosity, that it’s actually not 4c, that my hair is actually thin but there’s a lot of it, it really doesn’t like to be messed with and butter & cream based products are amazing while water and gel based are not. I chose to go this route because I started working out and my wigs will lift and I think that looks horrible. I started growing my edges back and I wanted to keep them 😂 I knew that if I didn’t start to learn how to love and embrace my crown, I will never be satisfied. I don’t believe it’s self hate to dislike your hair, I think you just need to get to know it and understand there’s value in taking that time to know the raw you.
I'm just a girl from Poland and I don't know the problems in the US. I just want to say that black people's natural hair is beautiful and I would be happy to see them wearing natural hair style everyday.
I hated it growing up because I was told to over and over but baby I love it now and I wanted to feel that way before I had chosen. But I’m loving it now
I was born and lived in Papua New Guinea as a young child, and I always wanted an afro growing up! We want what we do not have, I did not like my straight hair! My Godmother has had long hair in her life, she has always looked after her hair properly...at night sometimes, so she doesn't get knots she puts it in little balls all over her head. I thought this was REALLY cool when I was a young! :)
I feel like society hates it and some of us internalized that. I always loved my hair and wanted to wear it while and free but people in society told me not to.
![KAYTRANADA - Witchy (feat. Childish Gambino) [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/jGK3YVmGZ3Y/mqdefault.jpg)
This is such a great video! So informative and entertaining! Thank you for trusting You Go Natural. We will always celebrate black women loving their natural hair while being fashionable and comfortable! 🤍
Yesss I love them! Use promo code TONI15 for 15% off!
That's a funny joke. It was pure satire and I laughed the entire way. None of it was truth. Yall just nasty and lazy. 🤣😂🤣😭💀
Uaoh sister. You touch me
No it's black woman hating they hair
@@smilesandthetwistedmd7608 I'm not sure who you are talking to, but that was my problem with the video, it seemed like Toni was addressing it to people like you who are outside of our community, and we do not need ya'll in this conversation
it also should be mentioned, and this is why I went natural, that there are scientific studies that show that relaxers increase a woman's chances of developing fibroids , thyroid issues, and breast cancer. Black women's health is always overlooked and awareness should be brought forward.
My former hairstylist (Creamy Crack Queen) died from cancer in her early 40's.
THIS 👏🏾 agree 💯
@@georgina4874 I wish black women who are still into relaxers would be aware of this, it's a real shame 😔
This is true but people put beauty over health.
This is IT! This is precisely why I went natural over a decade ago and refuse to put that poison in my hair ever again.
The day the natural hair movement has succeeded is when a black woman with 4c hair can walk out of the house, into the workplace, into the church, into the clubs, anywhere without having to manipulate their hair to look presentable to other people.
Amen and Amen
Well that was a failed movement. Hopefully we can give it another try
They do in the UK...❤
@@Ms_Brendi_B no they don’t
What is stoping you from doing that?
I get a lot of backlash about my 4C hair from black women and black men. It’s annoying and alarming. The black community makes it seem like 4C hair is a struggle to deal with….it’s not.
@@LilithsCosmicLounge If black women can take the time to learn how to bleach, dye, or melt the lace of a weave….then they can take the time to learn how to care for their hair.
When some say 4c isn't time consuming and easy, I wonder are they really talking about 4c hair or some other texture. 4c hair is time consuming and takes time to detangle and unkink to comb through. It is not wash and wear hair. If it is short then it can be easier but longer 4c hair is time consuming. We need to be honest and admit the maintenance isn't easy as many say. This doesn't mean we hate our hair as many will say.
I think people also try to hard to style their hair. Your 4c hair is presentable if it is clean and moisturized. That’s it. It is done. Anything else you decide to do with it is extra and you’re putting more work on yourself.
Well yeah I think the depends on how you want to wear your hair. I hated detangling so I installed my own microlocs. Best hair decision I've made.
I’ve been natural 9 years and I’m just finding the right products for my hair. If you don’t know what works for your hair you will struggle with 4c hair.
People have attached too many rules to 4c hair. Dont grease your hair,wash your hair x amount of times, detangle your hair, stretch your hair. Your haircare routines are unnecessarily long and frustrating because you are trying to change the nature of your hair. Afro shrinks, embrace it. Your hair will never be perfectly detangled, black hair strands love hugging together,embrace it. You guys are completely going against the nature of your hair and as a result your hair will fight back by frustrating you. You wouldn't want someone trying to change your entire personality and being controlled, would you? Your hair has a life too. If anything, all these perceived challenges with natural 4c hair are teaching people to stop being control freaks. Leave your hair alone and it will grow.
Well said sis
I did not have a guide back in 98 when I chopped mine off, so I experimented until I found what was right for me.....
What is 4c hair?
@@hi-xf7cj it's an unnecessary categorization of natural hair, African hair with very tight coils.
100%! White ppl would get as frustrated if they tried everything to convert their bone straight hair into our kinks and coils, as it completely goes against the nature of their hair
If a stylist want u to pay more, come early, or pre do your hair at home before u come to your appointment. DO NOT GO TO THAT STYLIST FIND A NATURL HAIR SALON. Cause a stylist who specializes in NATURL HAIR would NEVER tell u to pay MORE based off your texture and length.
And that is the TRUTH!!!
All natural hairstylist I know charge based on length. It makes sense to me. Not speaking on texture.
Not true. There are videos on RUclips covering the past years controversy of multiple black hair salons charging more for type 4 (especially 4c hair). This has become to be known as the 4c fee. We must acknowledge the part our own community plays in this.
A very well-known Black NATURAL hair care salon from back in the day (whose owners transitioned into having a natural hair haircare line) used to have a price scale. Only very loose non-Black type curls paid the base fee. Everyone about a 3c or above paid a premium. They had a diverse curly clientele. Due to the price scale, most Black woman paid a premium at that salon.
Black natural hair are is lacking in many areas it’s hard to find, when you do they charging $300…. For cut wash and wash and go.
I'm a Russian woman, and this issue is so interesting and puzzling to me! Thank you so much for the video. As a person from a country where there is almost no black population, only a few years ago I discovered that all this hair that Beyonce and other celebrities have is not their own!! I couldn't even imagine what black women go through with their hair, all the strengthening, wigs etc. To me, as well as to majority of white foreigners (not americans), natural hair on black women is just AS BEAUTIFUL as straight hair, I didn't even know about such deep issues with descrimination etc.
It’s interesting to hear what it’s like from the outside looking in. I too think people look better with what’s naturally on their god given head!!!
I was taught to hate my natural hair because it's extremely thick and long. My mom hated doing my hair as a child and made it clear to me by hitting me on the head with the brush while doing my hair, always keeping it in the quickest most boring braids that she could do, or just pawning me off on my older sister or grandma because they could see my mom had no empathy while pulling brushes and combs through my hair with frustration. It hurt a lot. My older sister is mixed with white, while I'm a completely black woman without easy straight hair. My mom was annoyed I had regular black girl hair as she and my older sister don't have that. The first time I ever had a good experience getting my hair done, my mom permed it bone straight. My hair wasn't damaged and I got to wear it out for the first time. I loved it, and I didn't have to suffer under my mom's heavy narcissistic hand with thick, "nappy" according to her, hair. I've never worn my hair without a relaxer since age 6. I'll be 37 this year in July. My mom caused me to hate my natural hair, especially the texture.
I’m so sorry you went through this
Smh that is so mean and unfair. Sorry that happened to you.
I remember those pressing comb days. As children we are made to feel something is wrong with our hair. It’s a generational curse and it’s up to us to break it!
Im sorry that happened to you sis. My hair is nappy and my mom's hair is nappy. She hated her own hair. She did that too and hated doing my hair. She also put weave in it at 11. I'm 31 and just now wearing my natural hair for the first time and learning to love myself.
I also now do my moms hair too now 😇😈
Omg! reminds me of the beautician's my mom would send me. They would pull and yank at my hair, all the while telling me to hold still and complaining that I was tender headed! Then on top of it they would charge my mom more because my hair was so long (shoulder length) and thick. Mom ended up having them put a relaxer in it. I was nine at the time. Now don't get me going about the relaxers.
Honestly the moment you remove yourself from these societal views the less you care. I really believe we are too busy trying to get other people to accept something we haven’t fully accepted. They do not have to accept our difference. When will we ( collectively) focus on our own…
Very true I agree
AND THAT'S FACTS. WE CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT FITTING SOCIETY'S STANDARDS
@@Queen_beulahOfficialAlmost no woman, from any race, fits those standards. Maybe only the rich and famous do, because they also have the money and the time to always look perfect or give that appearance, because when you remove make-up, fake body parts and photoshop, how do they really look like? Often like regular people.
We don't really hate our hair, society hates it and it has a huge effect on our self images .
Yeah and that’s what I stated in the video
Nah Im telling you as a afrohaired woman when I wear my afro I get hated on by black women. Other races absolutely admire and glorify my hair even asian women say I look like an angel with the flowers in my fro. I get stopped by ppl all the time about my hair. But black women will stick their hands in my hair without asking just to see how “nappy” it is or to make sure its not a wig. They don’t even compliment me on my hair first before they touch me! Its rude and disrespectful asf I don’t care what color they are they need to keep their hands to themselves bc their whole intention behind touching my hair is NEGATIVE and its all about selfhate. Its not mainly society its mainly black women who are afraid to rock afros. White men have followed me around the store just to glorify my hair. Black women need to heal and reprogram themselves.
Its so bad when I do get compliments they will automatically start explaining why they wear a wig, or why they are bald for no reason. I never told them how to wear their hair Im always friendly while they roll their eyes. One time people where complimenting me and praising me for wearing my hair and my coworker said she had hair longer than mines until Covid. Then when she walked away everyone laughed bc they knew she was lying and hating. I can write a movie about the hate I receive from my own kind bc of my long 4a hair.
She just said black women's hair is not a monolith everybody feels differently about their hair she's touching on the majority of black women who hate their hair if you're not a part of that majority then this is not for you
@@parisjej
i don’t know why some black women think that it’s ok to touch another black women’s hair. it’s almost like some of them feel entitled to do it just because they’re black. black or white or other, i don’t want ANYONE’s hand in MY hair. hands OFF. i’m so sorry that happened to you. you speak the complete truth. i haven’t gotten hate from other races for my hair, it’s from my OWN kind. 🙄
i had my hair in mini braids and another black woman had the AUDACITY to touch the roots of my hair telling me i need to tighten it up. i had the hairstyle for a month and i was planning on taking it down, but either way, i do NOT like to “TIGHTEN” my hair. that leads to DAMAGE. so i will NOT tighten my hair for the sake of pleasing the eyes of others. i love my hair and they hate that i do. keep rocking your hair and don’t let jealous women make you feel bad or ashamed.
@@Ισαβέλα-ψ7τ Thank you for sharing your story. It’s unfortunate we go through these things but I am glad someone can empathize with me bc some people think Im lying. Its so weird. It does make me kind of sad that I get hate from my own kind. I’m not as outgoing as I used to be bc of the bullying and hate I receive when it comes to my hair.
The obsession with hair length is also due to the masculinization of most black women. Society makes us feel like we have to do so much and adhere to so many standards to be seen as feminine , they talk about the BBL girls but look at how they treat BW with average bodies, the fuller the features and the deeper the skin the more they try to associate us with men. So yes the obsession with length is very real and it’s very sad . I struggle with it too because I’m so tall and I feel all this unnecessary pressure to always be received as feminine. I have shaved my hair few times and enjoyed the freedom but also endured what I previously mentioned. I also learned that the right people as in people with common sense never mistakenly Ed me as a boy , especially black women, they saw me as the beauty that I was without all of my hair and I started to realize all that pressure was simply just engraved racism in society. I’ve since grown and am now looking to just grow a huge fro haha.
Came here to say this! They really make us feel like we're not feminine enough and hence our obsession with over-doing feminine aspects; long nails, long lashes, long weaves, etc.
In addition, long hair has been the standard in all the other races: Asians, Latinos and whites have long hair as their “crown” of beauty. For whatever reason that is not for us but we are differently beautiful and can appreciate our beauties💜
Lord Jesus Christ is coming back everyone, please don’t worship celebrities and entertainment, focus on Him alone. I promise there’s more to life than money, partying, homosexuality and music. Hell is real, repent from sinning confess your sins and ask God to forgive you, I know He will if you’re sincere. Anyone who thinks the Name of Lord Jesus Christ is a joke, boldly mocks and scorns Him or takes pleasure in people who do is in for a big unpleasant surprise on judgement day IF they don’t repent and follow Lord Jesus Christ. Hell is very hot, people please repent! In the mighty name of Lord Jesus Christ, Amen 🙏💪✝️💜❤️✝️!
Idolatry such as, Islam, Catholicism, Sangomaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Santa Clausism, Confucianism, New Age, Science, Evolution, halloweenism, Harry Potterism, Politics, Donald Trumpism, Easter Bunnyism and other religions/faiths that are outside Biblical Christianity lead to hell! Don’t believe them, believe the Almighty God the Father of Lord Jesus Christ, who begot Him. Our Creator, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is mighty, He doesn’t need a woman to beget a son, He is God. I choose to put my faith in a God who can do anything and everything, a God who has unlimited and infinite power to beget!
So, it’s time to confess that Lord Jesus Christ is the Lord and to believe that He died and rose from the grave after three days and you shall be saved if you only obey Him by praying, worshipping, praising, reading the Bible and living holy and righteously according to the Bible. You have to endure until the end, carry your cross daily and build your relationship with God by following Lord Jesus daily until the end. You must never renounce your faith in The Lord Jesus Christ, there’s hell awaiting those who reject/deny Lord Jesus Christ and those who continue living sinfully, even the Christians who don’t want to repent will face the same fate, so please repent beloved people, in Lord Jesus Christ’s mighty and precious Name, Amen.
@@lizangenye1509 it is for us, it’s just with a different texture, long hair is feminine the Bible also teaches this.
Lord Jesus Christ is coming back everyone, please don’t worship celebrities and entertainment, focus on Him alone. I promise there’s more to life than money, partying, homosexuality and music. Hell is real, repent from sinning confess your sins and ask God to forgive you, I know He will if you’re sincere. Anyone who thinks the Name of Lord Jesus Christ is a joke, boldly mocks and scorns Him or takes pleasure in people who do is in for a big unpleasant surprise on judgement day IF they don’t repent and follow Lord Jesus Christ. Hell is very hot, people please repent! In the mighty name of Lord Jesus Christ, Amen 🙏💪✝️💜❤️✝️!
Idolatry such as, Islam, Catholicism, Sangomaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Santa Clausism, Confucianism, New Age, Science, Evolution, halloweenism, Harry Potterism, Politics, Donald Trumpism, Easter Bunnyism and other religions/faiths that are outside Biblical Christianity lead to hell! Don’t believe them, believe the Almighty God the Father of Lord Jesus Christ, who begot Him. Our Creator, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is mighty, He doesn’t need a woman to beget a son, He is God. I choose to put my faith in a God who can do anything and everything, a God who has unlimited and infinite power to beget!
So, it’s time to confess that Lord Jesus Christ is the Lord and to believe that He died and rose from the grave after three days and you shall be saved if you only obey Him by praying, worshipping, praising, reading the Bible and living holy and righteously according to the Bible. You have to endure until the end, carry your cross daily and build your relationship with God by following Lord Jesus daily until the end. You must never renounce your faith in The Lord Jesus Christ, there’s hell awaiting those who reject/deny Lord Jesus Christ and those who continue living sinfully, even the Christians who don’t want to repent will face the same fate, so please repent beloved people, in Lord Jesus Christ’s mighty and precious Name, Amen.
@@thefoolenergy True and a lot of black men go after these other women who have so call black hair
What I find interesting about wigs and weave wearers, is that most say it's a protective style, yet the majority only have straight or traditionally white hair types wigs. Let's call a spade a spade. I said what I said.
Yep, it’s hypocrisy. We cry appropriate when non-black people wear braids, etc, but what about when we wear hair that isn’t ours?
fr like just be honest with yourself and reflect on what makes you feel most beautiful and why and maybe how to work past that. if the wig movement was really about protection we'd see lots more extensions with kinky and curly hair. and that's would actually look much more realistic
Amara la negra wore a natural wig and y’all tore her apart
@@seshib7232 whose ya'll? Cos last time I checked, wasn't me...
Not true. You took offense on Seshi B generalizing meanwhile you are doing the same
Lets be honest it come from with in our community then without. Older black women and especially black men&boys.
Yep, but people are too into their victimhood to see it.
Amen, Colorism especially.
Yes! Sure I’ve had bad experiences from outside my community, but within it is the WORST 🥲.
Preach! Personally, I've only gotten negative comments about my hair from fellow black people. I live in a predominantly black country, the terms fellow black people would come up with to describe afro textured hair (mostly 4c) was very saddening to hear growing up.
Based on this comment section Seems like it’s women who do it just as much as guys
It’s a different type of confidence I feel wearing my real hair. I know my real hair sisters understand me. Even if you’re texturized or permed.. it’s a flex to feel sexy in your own hair.
It really is, people move different interacting with you once they see you rocking coily kinky hair.
Making our hair more "palatable" has truly stripped us of the GIFT of developing a love affair with our natural hair...It makes me sad.
My 10 year old nephew told me yesterday I look better with my natural hair. That was so sweet being that we was just looking at my ig pics and no one was talking about hair
I’ve fallen in love with my natural hair. Mastering it can bring you so much confidence! It took some time to learn how to do it, I’ve been natural for 6 years and I still learn new things about my hair. When I get tired or don’t have time to deal with my hair, box braids are my best friend. And I’ve learned to do them myself! I can’t even imagine getting a sew in or relaxer anymore. Those days with that tragic, dusty, crusty, 2 inch long, broken up, heat damaged leave out are over!! Nothing but long beautiful textured locks in my future 😎
We need to take away the power that we’ve given hair in our community.
This is the reason why in Wal-Mart and Target our products cost more than the white girls do. They know the importance we place on something that we can never change.
@@preciousunderwood1512 facts
@@preciousunderwood1512 Have you thought about buying your hair products from the Dollar Tree, Family Dollar or Big Lots? They all have Black hair care products and cost a lot less than Target and Walmart
@@preciousunderwood1512 This isn’t true at all. Our products cost more because our products tend to have better ingredients. Compare Mielle, UFD, and Camille Rose to Herbal Essence, Garnier, and Pantene. Concentrated products with good ingredients vs watered down products with filler ingredients. Of course our products are going to cost more. Now when we buy from hair shops that’s a different story because you know those hair shop beauty supply owners like to price gouge tf outta us. I buy black hair care online and it’s the same story as target because our brands tend to have better ingredients which is why it costs more, and I’ll gladly pay for it. You should look up healthy studies on white hair care products. Scary stuff.
@@Jazzy869 Not at all.
It’s so sad that the majority of beauty schools don’t teach black hair at allllll
We’re not even tested on it. I was only taught how to apply a relaxer ☹️
That’s actually changing. It’s now becoming mandatory for beauty schools to teach black hair, and there have been talks about making it so non-black salons also have to be knowledgeable in how to do black hair.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809 Oh yeah ?! That's great news, they'd better keep it up coz it's really needed!
RUclips taught me everything!
Ayurveda does ❤
THIS! I didn’t learn much about black womens hair. I had to learn through RUclips
Confidence is ALL u need.
I remember being called Peter at school when my hair was short. And? I love my Type 4 hair..grows slow but its ALL MINE 😍
Amen 💯
I always believe natural hair won’t growth
It will grow slow but certainly stronger then snow bunny!Black dark women with natural hair have no ideia how extremely sexy and beautiful they are 🤔 💪🏿💪🏿💪🏿
Just off the title alone sis 👏🏾👏🏾. This is a conversation that needs to be had.
Always and we should never stop until we see some real change happening 💯
I think the root of hate is that we’ve been taught that it must be TAMED
No the problem is you blame others and use it as a crutch and want to continue to be viewed as the victim.
@@lauramatheis9069 I can tell you are NOT black. So kindly leave us alone.
@@lauramatheis9069funny how you can’t stick to your white woman videos… move along. You’re not wanted here.
@@lauramatheis9069 Yea let's ignore the bit of the history she gave us and it makes sense. You act likr society has no influence literally growing up with barbie dolls that looks nothing like you. Only nowdays I see barbie diversity would have helped alot back then.
Just looking through the comments here, and I’m kind of confused. I say this as a black woman with arm pit length 4B/4C hair. What is it that you guys are doing that takes hours? I wash style and detangle my hair every week and wear it in a wash and go, and it takes me 2 to 3 hours maximum, and I don’t touch it for the rest of the week. So what is everyone else doing? Could a huge part of disliking natural hair, be due to doing too much?
Edit: this comment is 2 years old but people are still responding. It takes me about 1.5 hours a week to do my hair now, I have better technique and I use better products.
Same here!!!! My hair does not take my whole day and it still bomb as hell after every wash day. My styles last well over a week. But that’s because I have a SOLD regimen. I don’t think these women have totally figured out their hair yet.
Facts
Same! I only wear wash and go's. Shampoo, condition and style once a week. The entire process...3 1/2 hours max. To maintain throughout the week I wear a bonnet or buff to bed, fluff and shape hair with my fingers in the morning. The wash and go is a low maintenance hair style.
People are fighting against the nature of their hair. This stretching,detangling
Black hair shrinks,our hair strands do not stand in isolation. If we embraced our shrinkage more and let our hair be we would probably have more love for our hair. Natural hair is only frustrating when you try to change its nature constantly.
same. Washing my hair never takes more than an hour... never.
I live in Africa. Almost everyone has kinky hair. Girls with relaxed hair,alot of people envy girls with kinky hair. But they don't want it cause of the stress
Thank you nne. Many of these women do not research about 4c hair and know that LESS IS MORE FOR 4C HAIR
As someone who’s been natural for 5 years now, I’m tired. I’ve tried everything, done multiple big chops, it never gets easier. My hair was even shoulder length at one point and it didn’t make me any happier because it’s so coarse. I hate my 4c hair and I wish my curls were a bit looser so I wouldn’t have to spend 6+ hours in the bathroom every night smh
I’m tired of being told I HAVE to like my hair, it’s so much work! It’s especially frustrating when it comes from girls with type 3 curls; they’ll NEVER know what it’s like to deal with constant breakage.
Hey love, thank you for taking the time to share your personal experience dealing with your natural hair. I completely understand the frustration that could come with dealing with your hair, but that’s why I said to embrace the versatility of our hair. Do whatever style or technique you want with it, but just make sure you’re caring for it to the best of your ability. Honestly hair will always grow back so you literally can do what you want! I am all for that!
Mmmhhh, sounds like your hairs been sabotaged since birth
I have natural hair, and I’m always surprised when people say it takes them hours to do their hair. I’m not being disrespectful, but I’m actually curious-what are you doing to it every day? I’m a 4C, and except for the 30 minutes or so I spend deep conditioning each week and the time it takes for my monthly barber cuts, it takes me like 5 minutes in the mornings to get my hair popping-I wet it, add some product and go. And my hair has grown beyond a TWA, so it has some length. And I know I don’t look crazy because I get compliments on my hair all the time, so I’m unsure of what I’m missing.
What are you trying to make it look like? That might be your issue.
@@ToniBryanneTV See, “dealing with?” The video did make one valid point and that is we have a ways to go yet!🤦🏾♀️
My two cents is we black women as a collective need to stop policing each other’s hair. It’s become exhausting. Whatever ur thing is, however wearing ur crown makes u feel beautiful and most importantly content , is what matters
True
Period!
This! Let people be great damn
Yes, this. It’s so annoying. Like why do we care so much about what other people do with their hair? I agree with you.
PREACH!! Are there this many videos of women of other races doing this? We are not the only race that does stuff to their hair! the difference is that those people don't care its a waste of time really🙄
"Black women spend thousands of dollars on natural hair products"
Looks at my $4 hair grease and $12 leave in. Wait what?? Lol
Not all products work for all hair.
@@missdesireindependance5194 did I name one specific product and say that it would work for everyone? Didn't think so..
I am with you. I have my products for months and I only use three products from wash to styling. We gotta simplify 😂
For the longest time ever I only used olive oil, you know the kitchen one not that overpriced "hair olive oil"
@@destinydivine8465 Me af I think the reason is bc nobody knows much about their hair type or they want to change it so they spend money until they find the right products. Ik I did after I went natural.
That's why I have always disliked the term "good hair" black folk need to get away from that term.
As far as I'm concerned all hair is good!!!
I'm just sayin...
Right. I would say healthy hair is good hair.
I can speak from my experience that I honestly hated my 4C hair. It was a lot to do so I recently relaxed it and it’s so much more manageable for me . But recently I went to the DR , & saw the black women embrace their crown and I was like 🥺 dang now why did I do this to me ?! I got treated so well overseas compared to the men here in America . European beauty standards are real and can damage you. Do what’s best for you. I may just go back natural cause the way the black women looked at me like wtf is wrong with her hair sent me in a spiral 😂😂😂😂
@K C I realized that which is why I literally said “Do what’s best for you.” Reading comprehension.
@K C lol I’m not arguing babe! 😂 It’s just a pet peeve of mine when I tell people read between lines . I’m sorry if my response seemed mean or anything 🥺💕
DR IS WORST WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. I GREW UP THERE AND IT ALOT OF HATE WITH NATURAL HAIR
@@ayuanabradford3206 you do know experiences are different right depending on the person ? My experiences was a good one , I’m sorry yours wasn’t .
It's like you can't win! 😅
Thank God a black female as u talks openly about this topic, 2 all my black women,... know that ur all beauties with ur own natural hair, many thanks 4 uploading this video
Respect 2 u Mrs Toni
Thank you for your kind words❤️
Bro natural hair products isn’t more expensive than wigs that’s the most delusional statement I’ve heard do you know how much women spend every month on wigs and weaves
literallyyyyyyyy
I don’t hate my hair. I hate how hard it is to keep it healthy. I love how my natural hair looks but there’s always something. I hate a lot of the low manipulation hairstyles 😫 they not cute to me or childish. I love my fro, my curl pattern and how my hair looks on me but it definitely is a hassle. I can’t never just NOT HAVE SPLIT ENDS. I’m always cutting my hair off cuz these dang ends but I want my hair to grow longer and bigger.
Im telling you as a afrohaired woman when I wear my afro I get hated on by black women. Other races absolutely admire and glorify my hair even asian women say I look like an angel with the flowers in my fro. I get stopped by ppl all the time about my hair. But black women will stick their hands in my hair without asking just to see how “nappy” it is or to make sure its not a wig. They don’t even compliment me on my hair first before they touch me! Its rude and disrespectful asf I don’t care what color they are they need to keep their hands to themselves bc their whole intention behind touching my hair is NEGATIVE and its all about selfhate. Its not mainly society its mainly black women who are afraid to rock afros. White men have followed me around the store just to glorify my hair. Black women need to heal and reprogram themselves.
Its so bad when I do get compliments they will automatically start explaining why they wear a wig, or why they are bald for no reason. I never told them how to wear their hair Im always friendly while they roll their eyes. One time people where complimenting me and praising me for wearing my hair and my coworker said she had hair longer than mines until Covid. Then when she walked away everyone laughed bc they knew she was lying and hating. I can write a movie about the hate I receive from my own kind bc of my long 4a hair.
What’s sad is, WE are suppose to be the MAIN SOURCE of support with each other. WE are the only ones with this type of hair texture! However, like you said, from decades of self hate we have came to this- degrading each other. Not only degrade but being jealous, envy…OF OUR OWN BLACK SISTERS! This pisses me off & jt hurts my heart ♥️😥😔 we must get better.
Don’t worry about them . You continue to wear that BEAUTIFUL natural hair. Those black women are jealous because they don’t have the confidence to wear it.
They’re the same women that only feel confident in Asian women wigs lol. Imagine walking around confidently wearing Asian women’s hair and wonder why so many non bw think they’re better then bw, that’s literally putting them on a pedestal by wearing their hair.
Wow. Just.... Wow.
This is 100% true. They are losers.
Thnx for discussing a topic that was really really important. I know lots of bw hate black hair texture, and I understand. That’s why I do my hair myself mostly if you don’t like my hair you shouldn’t be allowed to touch it.
I’m not here to encourage anyone to love anything, I just wanna remind us that the power is still in our hands.
I second this 👏🏾
I went to beauty school and they barely teach u anything at all about black hair let alone 4c kinky curly hair. So that’s something within the system.
Did Black instructors and students complain to the state authorities? The squeaky wheel gets the oil.
@@KC-ed1dj no. Unfortunately because everybody is just used to it I guess. 🤷🏽♀️ they literally have zero education in black hair. Everything taught is for white people.
And you know i don’t feel pretty with it but i don’t mind it. Even though it hurts to take care of and takes forever.. I know i will never get what i want with my 4c hair and that is what i think it is. I’m so damn tired of seeing everyone with straight wigs all the time, forcing our hair to match, ITS NOT GOING TO MATCH, it’s not supposed to. People at work tell me edge controls i need to try. My shit isn’t supposed to be straight, it doesn’t slick down because it’s not supposes d to. I don’t think it will ever be the standard to rock my 4c hair, and let me reiterate again, i wish every one would wear theirs, but i know I’ll never be treated the way i want to be if i do.
It’s sad to even have to read this but you’re speaking from truth. Much love to you sister. Forget what others won’t accept and also their stupid recommendations ..keep loving YOU.. I’m sure you’re beautiful in all your natural ness ITS ALL YOURS.. MUCH LOVE
Well said we’re not supposed to look the same that’s why God makes us different.
Girl get the kinky wig it's much much much prettier and more realistic looking.
Iv'e never liked edge control, it defeats the purpose of having courser hair texture
I second this comment thread👌🏾 💯
As hard as it’s to take care of my hair.
I feel the most prettiest in my natural hair ,so I learned to love it ,
growing up in Africa helped a lot because many hair dresses know what to do with it.
That's beautiful
What country
I definitely think people shouldn’t be afraid to be their unique selves. Everyone is starting to look the same it’s sad. We need to embrace the features that make us different. THAT is beautiful💖if we all did that instead getting all this surgery and stuff there wouldn’t be a societal beauty standard because we would all learn to see the absolute beauty in everything and everyone!
I told my hair stylist that I will be transitioning from relaxed to natural hair, she said if I was crazy because my hair is 16 inches long, and it won't be pretty anymore 🤷🏾♀️
My dad has been a hairstylist (for white hair) for 30 years. He HATES getting mixed people or black people with A LOT of hair. He hates how much extra time it takes. He never charged more though. He’s just complain after.
Hairstylists used to charge for the services not what your hair looks like.
Even if my dad had to try to lift someone who’s dyed their hair black to blonde, he wouldn’t charge more. You charge for the service, the the products used, etc. not based on what the clients hair looks like and by doing that he was able to take in HELLA tips. I mean, people would give him $40-$100 tips. BUT again, my dads 30 years in the game so things have clearly changed DRASTICALLY.
Black women are the only women who aren’t allowed to either manipulate their without it being called self hatred. Like I have white and Asian friends who literally bleach, dye straighten their curls, wear weave aka extensions to achieve the look they want. For us it’s just so much scrutiny and I feel like we’re appealing to the everyone else except ourselves
Yup! Lose lose situation
white and asian don't have a community called natural hair and neither majority of them need to wear wigs and lace front at all especially with a different hair type then theirs
Not really. The difference is other races most of the time change their hair it’s still their hair texture. Y’all say this but why is this change never your hair texture? I KNOW you see the resurgence of relaxers and how the wig game is always about being ‘layed’. Don’t play dumb bc you don’t want to confront it properly.
@@yema4755 Go outside. Women with straight hair gets perms to make their hair appear fuller and curly. WHY does it even matter if someone wants to change the hair texture? If it aint on your head let people do them. The whole point is we need to stop policing how other people live. If i wanted to shave my hair off and paint it green and blonde I can. It's none of your business, and im not self-hating because that's how I want to wear my hair. Self-hating is concerning how others perceive you, so you bend to their will instead of doing what's best for you.
That’s because BW are the only women that manipulate their hair out of self hatred in such high numbers. Let’s be honest BW motivation behind changing the appearance of their hair is completely different from the other races. Other races usually enhance what they already have or do a slight switch up for a short while. BW for the most part don’t want to “enhance” their natural looks. They want to cover them due to shame.
For example: A WW may see her short brown hair as boring so she’ll bleach it blonde or ad extensions in the SAME TEXTURE. But even if she can’t change it she won’t have any issues going out in public with it.
The average BW on the other hand see short natural hair as unsightly. So manipulation is a must to them. They will absolutely not go out in public without manipulating their hair to the max. So if they can’t get a straight wig or weave installed, then they rather walk around with a bonnet on than to let their hair be seen in its natural state.
I’m going to say something controversial… Not all black women have to like shrinkage, hair that will not grow no matter what you do, having a difficult time combing your hair, breaking combs, or having a painful time combing it and trying to style it… We as black women have different hair textures and experiences and not all bw go through what I listed but some do …..I don’t think you have to like something that’s difficult for you if you’re having a hard time with it… My hair is a mixture of type 3 and 4a and I hate combing my hair with a passion because it’s literally painful because I’m tender headed and I’ve had difficulty growing parts of it no matter what I did and I don’t like it and guess what I still don’t and I OK with saying that there’s nothing wrong with that …I don’t have to like it Or things such as shrinkage… I refuse to have to make black women feel they must like parts of their hair that they actually don’t like for their own personal reasons if they are in fact struggling with it
I don’t hate my texture is very nice in my opinion (most Black people tell me I have good hair and I know that that sounds ignorant to many but y’all know what that is… But that doesn’t mean I don’t have difficulties) but there have been some difficulty still at times and I don’t like it and that’s OK
And that does NOT mean that you hate yourself. I get so tired of people saying it's self hate because you don't totally enjoy your hair for whatever reasons. We're not totally defined by our hair.
If you’re breaking combs or having difficulty “growing “, it’s not a result of your hair type you just need to change your hair routine
Agreed
Yeah I agree it’s totally fine for other textures to complain and outright say that they hate their hair but we must not dare complain else it’s self hate. That’s not always true...we are women too and human and we get to not like it sometimes or at all if we choose!
@@delightfuldaisy3520 facts I agree ! I feel compelled to like it … seems like it’s so much pressure and judgement on us as black women.
Society is so toxic. I love videos like this. ❤️
the thumbnail was enough for me to say that you’re speaking fax, this needs to be talked abt mpre
I like to experment so i try a lot with my hair but I'm always more comfortable in my natural hair.
Same here lol
@@ToniBryanneTV And no it's not that deep the crap is hard to comb just as simple as that
@@thelmathomas9399 your hair can be hard to comb but you still love it….
@@thelmathomas9399 You know there is this thing called a spray bottle that you can fill up with water and all you'd have to do with it is spray your hair wait a few minutes then use a wide tooth comb, part your hair in sections then comb from the ends to the roots. It's not that hard you just don't know what you are doing.
our problem is when we think of long flowing hair as the standard of femininity and beauty which stems from whiteness. that’s what we grew up learning from movies,books, commercials. even though our hair can do all types of different things, we are way too obsessed with “length” when our hair is simply not made that way in its natural state. and that’s because of what we’ve been surrounded by. we don’t see and hear enough positive descriptions about our coils.
It does not stem from whiteness i saw my grandmother, aunties grow long hair, their tribes in West Africa with long hair. The truth is that alot of black women are either ignorant or lazy about RESEARCHING and taking care of their hair. Simple
@@sadraolaedo4733 I know right!!! like this comment is what black women are conditioned to think that long hair only belongs to white people. Like girl stop being lazy go grow your hair and enjoy it🙄
@@sadraolaedo4733 i don't know if it's laziness or its because there isn't a lot of research to read. We need more black scientists doing the work we need to make our hair flourish.
What about our very own black men also hating on our hair and preceding to see us in long fake hair...this is also a big reality
@@sadraolaedo4733 99.999 percent of black people hair is afro like.
I am white and I have always loved black women’s hair. The braids, styles always draw me in. You can do so much and it’s beautiful! White hair is basic 😂 Plus your skin is so beautiful!
Aww that’s so sweet thank youuu 🥰💕
This opinion right here is what most white people think!Sisters go natural and and dark and stop bleach your skin 🔥🔥🔥
@VenusBeauty stop kissing ass.
That is a fact , many "whites" says this admire the styling of it I always knew this.
We are Afro women is accurate terminology we are not really black women.
It is our unique hair not our skin.
@@celsocosta880 "white men" are the only ones treating us Like goddess with Our Afro and dark skin.
They worship our uniqueness.
I'm glad my family didn't make me feel insecure about my hair. As long as its clean and the style is cute to me and doesn't take up too much of my time I'm good to go.
We have been conditioned to want what we don’t naturally have and so it makes us seem ungrateful for what we DO have. Our hair is our BRAND AND BIRTHRIGHT. The colonizers wanted what they couldn’t grow therefore developing jealousy and the need to have us cover it up. No wonder why our hair is called our “GLORY”.. Love on it because it is a plant 🌱 that needs continued maintenance & watering. Our hair grows towards the sun ☀️ BECAUSE IT IS ALIVE… Remember that. ASE & LOVE TO OUR ANCESTORS
You can have all the 4c hair!
@@joyceg5421 give it to me I’ll gladly accept ..
Lovely comment ❤️
So beautiful and true!
@@joyceg5421 y’all don’t look better than the women who wear Afros, let a black women walk in with a wig( ok nothing we haven’t seen before) then another one walks in with a Afro ( she a goddess! She a queen! Love her hair!) y’all missing out on the praising and the beauty and glory that comes with an Afro. A black woman with a Afro and yellow clothes on will always outshine any other woman who steps in a room.
Sadly based on my experience of working in the food service industry I quickly noticed that when my hair is in a afro textured hairstyle like braids, locks and twists people are very mean, rude, impatient and ruff towards me they are hesitant to say hello, look me in my face and have a good conversation with me. but when I wear soft wavy Marcia Brady hair ( minus the color) people treat give me tons of love, patience, and support. People are friendly, kind and helpful towards me as well.
I guess I was lucky in that I never felt bad for having the hair that I do. I have type 4A hair (for some context) but I used to think I had 4C because of how dense my hair was (and still is)... and I didn't know leave in conditioner was a thing until like 2016😅
The only negative memories I have for my hair was my mum yanking my hair in efforts of detangling it, giving me headaches and of course the pain from my butt sitting down on the floor for hours. Although it was very painful, I appreciate my mum doing what she could to take care of my hair. And always telling me that I looked 'cute' with it and that its 'long' looking back it wasn't long at all, but I was the only in the family with a lot of hair being the only girl at the time. My mum really made me wear it with pride😂.
During the mid 2000's when I was a kid I wanted to perm my hair since another girl had her hair permed and I thought it looked nice. My mum would always deny my request saying that I'll ruin my hair. I knew where she was coming from as she herself permed her hair continuously when she was a teenager and till this day her hair is really damaged from it.
I'm thankful that she didn't let me do it, instead she was always very open to trying out hairstyles she never done before (like crochet) on my head. She'd watch youtube videos and everything! I know that my mum is glad that my hair is as long and healthy as it is today; she tells me that my hair right now is her goal. She really taught me and my sister that we can do a lot with out hair without damaging it and I think the fact that she was very open with trying out these new hairstyles helped my sister and I love our hair for what it is!
Of course it also does help when your hair is 'long' by 'black hair standards' (I got a lot of comments from other black girls in my school who wished their hair was as long as mine -- again my hair was like neck length it weren't that long back then) but I honestly think it was because my hair's health was always out first compared to the actual 'look' of it.
*The TLDR is: I'm thankful that my mum wanted me to learn what she did much later in life -- that black hair is beautiful, and deserves to be taken care of! Even if you gotta endure a little pain to find out what really works for you! Learning to love your hair also can mean experimenting with it, but always out of appreciation and curiosity of what your hair can do, not what you can conceal about it!*
your mom is very cool for that! but my mom also used to yank my hair and that is a horrible energy to be doing hair in... at least in my scenario. if you have some extra time, try to patiently work with the knots and give it to her detangled. ALSO try Ethiopian hair butter.. you can make it at home. it will help your hair so much
I’m blessed to have a momma who was always gentle and taught me how to love my hair. I also was tired of my hair and wanted a perm, my momma said no like yours did. Thank The Lord our Mothers!
Same, turned out my hair was just dehydrated and hated oil 😭
This was a beautiful message, your mom taught you and your sister very well ❤ You don't see stories like this that often
I don't hate my hair..I'm 30 and just came into the confidence of embracing my natural hair. I have pretty hair and I'm not afraid to show it off anymore
i LOVE my natural hair. I remember having shoulder length relaxed hair and its all i identified by when i cut it all off it was the most freeing thing I had ever did I wish I could go back to that night just to feel the freedom one more time!
I resonate with what you were saying at 5:22 so much. When I went natural in 2018, I didn’t want to go to school because I was anxious about my peers seeing me with short hair when I know I decided to transition from relaxed hair for myself. And now my Mum and I have noticed how typical everyday brands such as garnier and others are finally seeing the value of making products for black hair. Honestly the whole thing is crazy
As a African living in Africa i really never knew that black women in the west were made to feel bad about there hair .. like here in West Africa it is deemed as wierd and not attractive when u hve loose curls as it is usually associated witn damaged hair
Yes, the reason why you see black American on tv with straight hair back in the day, was because natural hair wasn’t accepted . Some weren’t allowed to go to prom dances or work if their hair was natural
@@Justafox305 thants pretty harsh like its hair no ome can control it how it grows
Where in West Africa
I'm also hearing, some are bleaching
I support black women , whatever they want to do to their hair. I recently texturizer and I am so happy with it. Your hair is only a PART of you. It doesn't make you who you are.....
Same for me sis-it’s no one else’s business what people do with their body parts or if it’s real or not.
Absolutely agree. I like my hair but I really hate doing it. The pain, the time, the energy. Just no! My identity as a black woman is more than some hair. People should be allowed to do whatever. I do not Stan naturalistas
@@avybez Absolutely!
@@rahem_tullah. yes, exactly! No one can take your blackness from you.
You used a hair texturizer, I had my hair texturised since I was 7. Nowadays, it’s hard to find genuine hair products for my hair. I decided to go natural (I might texturise in the future).
It’s so sad that black women have to explain why we like our hair or not , do what works for YOU. Everyone’s hair regime may not work for one. It’s about learning what your hair likes. Taking time to learn and listen to your hair needs.
If you wear a wigs Rock that ishh then
Natural hair rock that ishh like no one can tell you nothing
Relaxer rock that ishhh
Black women do not owe anyone any explanation as to why they do what they do for their heads . I don’t see any other race having these conversations and over explaining we gotta stop this .
Great commentary. I am one of those black women who loves her "naps". I switch it up from time to time and may throw on a wig. Recently I wore a short wig to work for a few days because it was time for a haircut and I couldn't get my hair to do what I wanted it to do. The Wyt people kept telling me how "stunning" I was when I wore the wig. I was actually offended. I couldn't wait to wear my natural hair again.
I don’t take that as a compliment either
I admire how wyt people see themselves as the standard though. I wish we did the same.
Yep I showed a pic of my hair relaxed to some yt girl in my class and she asked me why I didn’t keep that hairstyle 😐 My hair is cute af that’s why
I love this video! Great content! It nearly had me in tear because I struggled to love my hair. I kept my natural hair hidden for years because I didn’t know what to do with it. I wouldn’t even wash it. I would go to one beautician to wash it an another one to install my wig/weave. Until one day I was at training and didn’t have time to get my hair done before leaving and I took my weave out and realized how much hair I had. Of course when I returned home. I went back to my normal routine but now I am really trying to embrace my hair. A few weeks ago it felt liberating just to wear my own hair. I didn’t have to worry about my wig sliding, or my braids being too tight or the stress on my edges. It felt good just to rub my fingers through my hair but enough of me. Thank you for this video and I pray that it will be inspirational to other.
As a child, I never hated my hair. I was conditioned to hate my hair..from my own family. My light skin family with so called good hair 😑I love my hair again
I don’t know a single black woman that actually hates their hair. They’d never change it.
Thank you for making this video. Whenever I get box braids I like to keep them in for a long time; a woman who goes to my church would always stare right at my head, whenever she approached me. One day I was in the car with her, just the two of us, before I even got in the car she asked, “Now, when you getting your braids done?” “Have you talked to your mom about it?” She talked about it for a full 10 minutes. She acted as if it was her job to ask me about my hair. That situation pissed me off and I haven’t talk to her since. The amount of black women that stare at my hair is very disrespectful and uncomfortable. Another woman at my church… Whenever we talk to each other, she doesn’t even look at me, she just stares at my hair the whole time. Black women are the reason other black women are insecure about their hair.
The protective style phenomenon is exhausting beyond. Getting those styles damage your hair beyond
Yes, it can cause breakage and damage to edges and nape area
Black hair is so diverse and beautiful😊
Wonderful commentary👏🏽👍🏽 Thanks for the words of encouragement to embrace our hair and each other✊🏽
I don't hate my natural hair, I actually appreciate and love it very much
As a mixed girly with 3A hair I finally understand the anger some people have towards the natural hair movement for being "taken over" by people with curly or wavy hair instead of kinky hair. I think the natural hair movement should stay as it is tho, it definitely helped me with wearing my natural hair and Im sure it also helped many other people. But there definitely is a need for what the curly girl method did for us curly girlies, for people kinky hair
I don’t hate my hair, I just need products that make my hair easy to maintain. I don’t want to be a slave to my hair in terms of maintaining hair straightening and afraid to sweat it out due to exercising. Tired of perms.
Not all black women hate their hair..I absolutely LOVE my hair!! I think our hair is very misunderstood and society associates long flowing hair as beautiful and coily kinkier hair as "Nappy"...I went Natural about a year and a half ago and tbh I didn't know anything about my hair,and I really studied my hair and relied on youtubers to teach me how to take care of my hair..this was all a process and I am absolutely in Love with my hair. Tbh it's steps for me because I'm now crossing the path of feeling comfortable to style my hair and wear my natural hair and not wigs.So last night , I actually did my hair put makeup on and posted pictures on FB of me and my natural hair...I was so scares because this was like a revealing for me to my friends who have Never seen me natural..and tbh they embraced and told me how beautiful I am..I am happy and this for me is TRULY a journey❤💯...I Hate when Black women say they hate their hair because your HAIR is apart of you and God given and being in that mindset is self hate...learn your Hair and embrace it..it's so beautiful..and I'm very happy and thankful for my beautiful hair❤💘💝
I really did feel this video. I remember crying to my mom as a little girl. Asking her why I look the way I do. As a black girl I actually have more of a light sandy colored skin. So I was teased for being "too light" and for having "ugly" hair. But as my teenage years hit, I gained confidence and self love for who I truly am. I now appreciate the curls that I have and love my skin. I had to learn how to love my 4c hair. How to stop straightening it and actually just leaving it alone and letting it grow. I usually braid my natural hair and wear it just as that. Kinda like box braids without the weave I put it in buns, ponys and wear it down. I even once put it in twist and used my shrinkage for bangs. It was really cute. I'm now in high school, my last year. And seeing this video was a breath of fresh air. I really do wish 14 year old me could have seen this. This video really does mean a lot to me. 🥺💕
So you'll probably enjoy this ruclips.net/user/shortsbDSqA2awxRM?feature=share
When guys say they like natural hair they're referring to looser curl textures
Yes, I've noticed that a lot....
That’s not true
@@Kingtone1209 Depends on the person. I have type 4 hair and I love all natural hair, yes including type 4 hair, but I’ve met other type 4’s who say they love natural hair, but actually mean type 3.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809 exactly it depends on the person. It’s foolish to says guys, when I happen to be a guy that doesn’t care about or know about 4, 5, 6 type hair
@@Kingtone1209 I’m glad you’re not like most however majority of black men do prefer straight, wavy or curly hair from my experience. I have thick 4c hair and rarely get compliments from any guys on my hair. A few more now that I have locs but when I rocked my fro I didn’t hear much positivity. The most positive comments I received were from white people smh .
I'm a white Slavic girl (from Europe) and I absolutely love different ethnic features of people from all over the world. It hurts to see such beautiful black hair hidden and replaced with plastic (or real hair) straight weaves... so much work, not letting the skin on the head breathe 😢 and it often doesn't even doesn't look good! it's sad that people have been convinced natural hair isn't beautiful, that it's not tidy or even clean... it makes me angry, I hope people stop believing this old fake colonialist consumerist society bullshit 🤘
That is so true. The other people see the beauty in our hair except our own. But we all have been convinced at one point by the devil that whatever God used for our appearance isn’t good enough. I’ve seen the ones with the straighter hair make mistakes that permanently damaged their hair just like ours. Their problem is the frequent dying or bleaching of the hair. And I think dying or bleaching to the root is even more deadly then perms.
They have convinced themselves no one I have ever been around has said black hair isnt beautiful. Our hair does set us apart and makes us unique and as a latina woman I would prefer to see black women in their natural look because its part of them and distinguishes us all for our uniqueness. A black woman with a fro is one of the most beautiful to me. I see power and strength and beauty. But I cant stand black women always comparing themselves to non black womens looks when we dont compare ourselves to them. We appreciate them not trying to copy non black hair styles because we know its out of insecurity
@@incelslayerrrr8597Guess what? Your experience doesn't change the experience of black women. Congress literally had to pass the CROWN Act (please look it up) because of how frequently hair discrimination occurs. Black women have been suspended and turned down from jobs because our natural hair is considered unprofessional.
@StanT-rt1xc Oh hush up. It's a big enough issue because a literal law has been passed concerning it in multiple states. People have been sent home from work or school for having box braids and not straightening their hair. No one said anything about going outside without doing anything to afro hair. All hair is visually appealing when taken care of. Straight hair is not really visually appealing if it isn't styled, so that's ultimately just your opinion. Creating imagined scenarios such as someone being self conscious about their nose is your sad attempt to deflect from reality. The issue is not about the "world" owing black people anything, it's about employers and principals providing basic respect. People are obviously concerned and obviously have enough free time to worry about afro hair because it's often a conversation starter. Have a blessed one.
Brainwashed
Ewww chile!!! You did that, with this!!! I’m sharing to my IG! Beautifully put together! I love You Go Natural!!! This was the push to go ahead and change my profile picture here on YT…gotta find one! But yeah…💪🏾🙏🏾😘🖤✨
Thank you so much!! I believe we communicated on Instagram already, but I wanted to show my appreciation again!
@@ToniBryanneTV yes sis!!! We did!!! 🥰
This is seriously a great video explained by such a well-spoken person like you. But the reality is so hard for someone with my hair texture. And I'm tired of my hair so much so I am going to have to have my hair changed to be more manageable. I just think that life is unfair for our hair to be soooo complicated to manage while some other folks don't have to worry that much about their hair. I am so tired of mine that I don't care about being natural anymore I'm gonna fix it. I am done! 😞
I suggest you try new products. I was feeling the same way and I switched products to Aunt Jackie and switch shampoo to cream of nature. No issues since.
As a black male, black hair is very unique and that is our identity, I understand what society has put black women through and it’s disgusting, but it’s okay to love your self all you have is you stop trying to make others feel comfortable while losing your self doing it, self love is power and that’s all we got our dignity.
This is very well executed. I looked up why women don't like wearing their natural hair and to get a perspective from someone other than my girlfriend and this came up. Thanks for going into detail!
If I had a coin for every time a hair stylist tried to coerce me into chemically treating my hair because it has to be more "braid-able" before they can braid it 🙄
My mom always told me my hair was beautiful. When I was little, my mom kept it braided up, so my hair was longer. Other black girls pulled it to see if it was fake and they hated me. LOL. I was surprised to find out my hair was no prettier than anyone else's as I got older. Moms, get that brainwashing in early and often! I can't wear wigs and weaves though. I feel stupid in them.
WE . OURSELVES . BLACK WOMEN . we need to stop being so hard on ourselves and one another no matter WHAT we do with our hair . just embrace each other’s beauty . Hair is an accessory - people change it very often .
idky black chicks make such a big deal about it. they make more of a deal about it than black men
I’m sorry but I hate my 4c hair it’s just too much I rather have hair that grows really fast and where you can just put it in a ponytail and call it a day people with straight or Even wavy hair are so lucky I wish I didn’t have 4c hair it’s too delicate which means it’s too prone to damage and breaking off yes I agree about everything in this video but 4c hair is just too much for me😭😭😭😭
I’m so sorry you feel that way. I have 4c, thick hair and I used to feel the same way. One day I was curious about my natural hair under my relaxer and went natural. Once I began to accept that God made no mistakes on us and our hair I began to love it. Acceptance will help you to let go of the hate. Yes it takes more time but it is rewarding as well. We look different for a reason and that’s beautiful. Now if time is an issue their are lower maintenance styles . After years of loose natural hair I locd my hair. I can finally wash and go and have true freedom with my natural hair. I hope one day you will love the hair God gave to you.
As someone you lost their hair due to alopecia I belive anybody who has it to love what they were blessed with
I live in a country with few blacks. I recently saw a black women with natural hair and I was stunned by her beauty. Women are too fake in general.
But let’s me honest, males give the most attention to the fake but also like complaining it’s fake
I can only speak for me. The most attractive for me is either without make-up or with light make-up. With black women I love when they wear natural hair or maybe straighten their hair only lightly.@@Anisa-wi5zj
I love natural hair. But, it's a lot of work. I got locs in 2015 because I was tired of doing my hair. Plus, I wanted long hair without flat ironing it and heat damage. Locs are more manageable. I am happy that I embraced my natural hair at 19. I am 36.5 now.
Personally I do hate my natural hair, but not because I hate natural black hair. I hate mine specifically because of the fact that it's so thin and not full at all it makes me annoyed I just prefer having it big or not at all, I don't even care for length
Have you considered getting yourself checked? I mean you could be having an internal issue that impacts your hair density, it's good to seek a professional help to get it out of the way
Fantastic video, so articulate and educated❤️
Thank you so much! I put a lot of work in this video so that genuinely means a lot!
It took me forever to love my hair completely . I been natural for about 6 going on 7 years . I just locced my hair last week and I love it . I hate the hair type chart it’s problematic. Our hair has no rules for everybody . It’s supposed to be kinky curly . We have to just love our hair period . !!! It’s a form of self love and care
Very informative video on existing realities and into the mid-sets of black women. However, I do disagree with 1 major thing said about black women. The Author here says just because you see a black woman wearing a wig, weave, extensions, etc... don't mean they hate their hair. My problem with the statement is just the fact that they are wearing something which isn't their natural hair, tells others that they wish their hair was different than what it really is! Even if they only wear it because they don't feel like dealing with their natural hair as she says in the video.
Or I don't want to deal with it. I locked my hair so I'm good, but before I was spending so much money and time on my hair. I want to be able to wake up in the morning, moisturize my hair and be on my way. Before, it would take a lot just to maintain any style I had. I couldn't leave my hair alone. I will not be ashamed for not liking my hair. I like it now that it's locked and I don't have to worry about, but before it was a struggle.
"I will not be ashamed for not liking my hair." I wish more than 1 comment could be pinned. I can relate to everything you just said. Why is it so hard for some people to accept that not everyone can/will set aside hours at a time, just to deal with their hair, so they can leave their home for an indefinite period of time? So many women in the comments expect every black woman to "suck it up" and spend that extended time that many people can't/don't have on their hair, because what works for them and what is attainable in their own personal lives, must work for everyone else. Not liking something is not synonymous to hating it.
Let’s talk about black women (specifically those with 4a, 4b, 4c hair, pasting their edges to their forheads. Where did that come from? To me, its an attempt to emulate mixed hair textures where the edges lay down naturally with no gel. Can we make puffy, “nappy” 4c edges cool? Like….we aint gotta copy other textures all the time. Smh
Omigosh this!!! I've heard people I know say using gel on your edges completes a hairstyle and makes it look "sleek". However, as 4c girly, it doesn't make sense to have these licked-down looking edges and a coily puff behind that?? It seems very remnant of texturism. The whole thing doesn't make sense to me and upon that, my edges do not lay at all; give me two hours and I sweat it off.
Also, I dunno, brushing and laying your edges down every morning seems like quite some manipulation and my edges have finally regrown back healthier than ever so...hard pass.
Mixed people can have 4a, 4b and 4c hair too, I wish people can stop being ignorant and to acknowledge that there’s no such thing as good hair
I gave up on learning to do edges. Just accepted the way the way it usually is.
@@brenaomi true
Yes many mixed and biracial people have type 4 hair. Also many pacific islanders, Non Black Arab/ Jewish ethnicity people and Sicilians and some white Spanish people who live in Spain have 3C hair and they have less than 20% African DNA or no recent or none at all in the past 1000 years on DNA reports.
Thanks for sharing sis. This was excellent information. Notwithstanding what you have said but black women need to know their hair is like a hat to protect them from the sun. You'll find if you have natural hair it changes with the weather. This make us very unique. Keep rocking your natural hair beautiful!
My hair is BEAUTIFUL. I love my natural hair at all lengths. I’ve had my hair really short to long where as though everyone thought it was fake but it was all mine. But the MAINTENANCE of my hair was insane and not conducive to my patience and time.
My hair would be a tangled mess 3 days after spending 3 hours detangling it during wash day…I am tender-headed and my hair would ALWAYS knot at the root. So just imagine the pain.
I would always dread wash day because I knew even after 3 days my hair would be sooo tangled so wash day would literally be all day. And whenever I washed it so much hair would come out bc of my scalp condition.
I treated my hair very well. I was gentle, I kept up with trims, I deep conditioned, I used protein when needed, I kept my scalp and hair moisturized in between wash days with my homemade scalp tonic, i ate right, I did EVERYTHING for my hair. But it still was high maintenance and if I slacked on ANY part of my regime it would be a complete nightmare.
Eventually i realized my hair prefers not being touched. Point blank period. I have locs now and it’s been smooth sailing. I don’t miss my loose hair at all. I threw away all of my products combs and brushes. I feel like I can take a deep breath because my hair is happy not to be pulled so much anymore. It’s been 7 months I can’t wait for a year then 2 years. Locs are maintenance but WAY lower than loose natural hair. I have more freedom and way less worries. I spend less time on my hair and my obsession and sadness over my hair subsided. 🌈
It’s never “just hair”. I mean it is but it also isn’t. Hair is part of your self expression. And loving your hair is apart of loving yourself. And that’s very very important. Idc if my hair isn’t the standard of beauty. That standard is based on racist ideologies anyway. 🤷🏾♀️
I am all for black women doing whatever they want with their hair. Natural, wigs, weave, straighten/silk press, locs, shaved, whatever suits you and your lifestyle. It’s your hair, you’re the one who has to manage it. Do what’s best for you. Just be careful with relaxers. They are directly linked to uterine cancer and fibroids. There’s a class action going on as we speak. (The women on the relaxer boxes have spoken out and it turns out they were natural the whole time. They just had their hair pressed out. Food for thought.)
I highly disagree about this ‘people wanting to be close to whiteness.’ Most people would prefer to have brown skin and curly hair, like in the 3’s on the hair chart. Those features are actually much closer to blackness than they are to whiteness. Two fully white people cannot have a child with type 3 curly hair, just not possible. That hair types come from mixing with a black person.
On the other hand, a black person doesnt have to mix with a European for the child to get a looser curl pattern, they can mix with any variety of person, whether that be Mexican, American Indian, Asian, etc. They all have straight hair, and a black person who has tightly coiled hair mixing with them, leaves the child with curly hair.
So you saying that everyone wants to be white is completely false. As a multiracial guy (West African/black, American Indian, and white in that order) with type 4a hair, I am very happy with my skin tone but would prefer 3c hair due to the looser curl pattern. That has nothing with me wanting to be white, I don’t want white skin or straight hair. I want Afro hair with slightly looser curls than mine.
Why are you talking when you literally wear weave in other videos
I hated my 4c hair up until last year. It was hard to manage, I spent so much money on products and more. However, I big chopped last year and kept my hair in braids most of the time, Using in between braid styles to learn something new about my hair. Some of the things I learned so far is: my porosity, that it’s actually not 4c, that my hair is actually thin but there’s a lot of it, it really doesn’t like to be messed with and butter & cream based products are amazing while water and gel based are not.
I chose to go this route because I started working out and my wigs will lift and I think that looks horrible. I started growing my edges back and I wanted to keep them 😂
I knew that if I didn’t start to learn how to love and embrace my crown, I will never be satisfied. I don’t believe it’s self hate to dislike your hair, I think you just need to get to know it and understand there’s value in taking that time to know the raw you.
It is self hate to dislike your hair, because HATE is like a seed
I'm just a girl from Poland and I don't know the problems in the US. I just want to say that black people's natural hair is beautiful and I would be happy to see them wearing natural hair style everyday.
I hated it growing up because I was told to over and over but baby I love it now and I wanted to feel that way before I had chosen. But I’m loving it now
Well spoken and well said!
Thank you so much Christina, I appreciate it!!❤
I absolutely love my hair ❤️ fearfully and wonderfully made by Jesus 🙋🏽♀️
I was born and lived in Papua New Guinea as a young child, and I always wanted an afro growing up! We want what we do not have, I did not like my straight hair! My Godmother has had long hair in her life, she has always looked after her hair properly...at night sometimes, so she doesn't get knots she puts it in little balls all over her head. I thought this was REALLY cool when I was a young! :)
I feel like society hates it and some of us internalized that. I always loved my hair and wanted to wear it while and free but people in society told me not to.