What do you see in the mirror, Scarra? | Dr. K Interviews

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  • Опубликовано: 24 дек 2024

Комментарии • 1,1 тыс.

  • @Wernimations
    @Wernimations 3 года назад +6227

    Everytime Scarra smiles, a flower blooms somewhere.

    • @lauryn2868
      @lauryn2868 3 года назад +82

      I agree completely

    • @sviestassviestuotas5081
      @sviestassviestuotas5081 3 года назад +28

      true

    • @Phelupianmangler
      @Phelupianmangler 3 года назад +75

      Scarra's smile is so contagious

    • @sunayoru
      @sunayoru 3 года назад +7

      yes!!!

    • @eltjeau
      @eltjeau 3 года назад +7

      If for everytime scarra had a glimpse of a smile and i would have a pentakill... I..

  • @otaldomatheush
    @otaldomatheush 3 года назад +4373

    When Scarra said that he felt his younger version was smarter than his current self that hit really hard. Sometimes when I see old photos of myself I just feel like apologizing to that kid.
    Scarra's fucking awesome btw.

    • @eltjeau
      @eltjeau 3 года назад +184

      There is alot of healing in that thought. Your young beeing didn't see what was coming. Tell the young version of 'you' not to be to hard on the older 'you' and you may be able to heal and be softer to the person you are today

    • @otaldomatheush
      @otaldomatheush 3 года назад +67

      @@eltjeau Never thought of looking at it that way. Thanks for this! Literally tearing up at work LMAO

    • @eltjeau
      @eltjeau 3 года назад +27

      It's something i learned in therapy.. it can become more thorough to the mind if you go back to old memories and really are aware of the child that experienced what you remember nowadays. It's a therapy called exposure.. so helpfull when you need to come loose of the child in you that had bad experiences in the past

    • @bobbywhite5319
      @bobbywhite5319 3 года назад +18

      Woah, time experiences are weird. I still feel like the same person as I did in my childhood. Interesting to know that some people feel different.
      In my case the feeling is held together by a bitterness/wariness of others. Or maybe it’s that I lack a sense of self

    • @juninhoplay5380
      @juninhoplay5380 3 года назад

      salve

  • @Dudebaker420
    @Dudebaker420 3 года назад +2082

    I have never shouted "Get Him!" More than this. I love Scarra and he needed this so badly.

    • @misterpgallagher
      @misterpgallagher 3 года назад +18

      Me too. Scarra is so awesome!

    • @andersnielsen3217
      @andersnielsen3217 3 года назад +15

      That's a wonderful comment🙂

    • @EtherTheReal
      @EtherTheReal 3 года назад +6

      @@andersnielsen3217 no u

    • @JoeNovacks
      @JoeNovacks 3 года назад +14

      who is Scarra?this guy who talk with Dr?K come one guys this guy is wonderful briliant serious and so true the way he speaking he makes you to trust him at once!i like this guy!Hey you AWESOME and never forget!Hello there Scarra !

    • @izio1111
      @izio1111 3 года назад +2

      I know right he needed real talk and guidance so much

  • @tylerkim1163
    @tylerkim1163 3 года назад +874

    1:10:14
    Scarra: Life would be easier as a robot
    Dr. K: You’ve tried really hard to be a robot
    Scarra: Beep Boop (sad robot noises)

    • @kajiko88
      @kajiko88 3 года назад +27

      I got Captain Holt vibes from this clip

    • @Vexiad
      @Vexiad 3 года назад +31

      That part made me laugh so hard

    • @jcnot9712
      @jcnot9712 9 месяцев назад

      Petition to get Scarra to voice Marvin from _Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy._

  • @enmemoriamedia4957
    @enmemoriamedia4957 3 года назад +989

    Skara "I´m gonna die before im 40"
    Dr K. "even darker"
    Skara "I´m gonna die before im 39?"

    • @Sam_Ares
      @Sam_Ares 3 года назад +50

      I think the answer he was looking for was for Scarra to say he hated himself. But it really doesn't seem like he does which kinda surprised Dr. K at 46:20

    • @ohjajaja
      @ohjajaja 3 года назад +41

      ​@@Sam_Ares not really looking for but certainly was ready for it to come. He was probably targeting something like with just being unhappy with his state or feeling disappointed.
      That's why Dr. K. often seems very vague with his questioning. He doesn't want to push out answers, just so his logical mind can satisfy the question with an answer some would just expect to come up.
      This could lead to very complicated situations. He doesn't expect him to say "I hate myself" because I think it's an unhealthy way of assuming the wildest things without certainty. Be free of superstition

    • @NorroTaku
      @NorroTaku 3 года назад +10

      @@Sam_Ares i felt that way too
      I thought he was going to ask about death and self harm
      but I think he didnt ask it on purpose and not out loud as to not bring it up
      and skara didnt pick up on it
      so he probably either didnt have the thoughts
      or did not have them anymore

    • @quAdxify
      @quAdxify 2 года назад +3

      @@Sam_Ares No the answer he was expecting (if any particular) would be "I'm gonna die alone" especially since that subconsciously matches Scarra's unhealthy lifestyle. No dying alone, if you die young, where your friends are still around.

    • @lelelew2735
      @lelelew2735 11 месяцев назад +1

      Maybe not himself but the hand he was dealt from genetics.

  • @nanabanana44
    @nanabanana44 3 года назад +2045

    I'm a simple man, i see don scarra i click

    • @eltjeau
      @eltjeau 3 года назад +10

      You see scarra, or you don

    • @SaulBedMan
      @SaulBedMan 3 года назад +22

      paying my respects to the don

    • @SumriseHD
      @SumriseHD 3 года назад +11

      It's just like with Anthony from LTT

    • @larvaedadindex
      @larvaedadindex 3 года назад +6

      @@SumriseHD yessirrr

    • @getithxney
      @getithxney 3 года назад

      same

  • @arcadistorias3202
    @arcadistorias3202 3 года назад +1790

    Scarra is definitely someone that should have additional sessions recorded. Not only is he beloved by so many people, but because he has so many walls up. Also shout outs to the "idk if imma make it to 40" crowd lmao.

    • @eyo8766
      @eyo8766 3 года назад +6

      WOOOOOOOOO

    • @theotherdavid8727
      @theotherdavid8727 3 года назад +44

      Wooo fuckn 25 is a stretch for me brother

    • @MetroTechGamer
      @MetroTechGamer 3 года назад +3

      @@theotherdavid8727 same

    • @RalphelValentine
      @RalphelValentine 3 года назад +8

      True even when twitch had the tier list for best streamers to least. Most streamers put scarra pretty high even people that don't normally interact with him

    • @SomeoneNr9
      @SomeoneNr9 3 года назад +29

      @@theotherdavid8727 well, I didn't think i would go past 20, now I'm 25... Although truth be told, while I did originally intend to make this comment uplifting, I can't say, that I have particularly enjoyed, or feel proud of having made it, so yeah... That's probably a bit of a downer. Nevertheless, I wish you and everyone who relates to this the best and I hope you find whatever you need to be able to carry on until you can make things turn around for you.

  • @dropthekorpi
    @dropthekorpi 3 года назад +1903

    This was the most helpful interview for me so far. I have the same problems of rationalizing and a constant need for self-improvement rooted in negative self image. Seeing him gradually move away from logic and closer to facing emotion was eye-opening as well. Thank you Scarra and Dr. K!

    • @eltjeau
      @eltjeau 3 года назад +16

      I feel the same.. rationalizing stuff to death, dont get your emotins involved..

    • @sollertia_
      @sollertia_ 3 года назад +25

      ironically, I see rationalization as an emotional escape mechanism disguising itself and tricking the "logic" part of one's mind

    • @MzSoulll
      @MzSoulll 3 года назад +4

      I have the same problem...exhausting.

    • @Jeppe_P
      @Jeppe_P 3 года назад

      Same honestly. This was really helpfull

    • @moonfrog9878
      @moonfrog9878 2 года назад +1

      It’s easier not to feel cos it hurts, but it’s what we need to grow, otherwise like he says, we essentially rationalise everything like it’s all okay because it makes us feel content, but sometimes we need to know it may not be okay and we should do something about it and then feel improvement when we do, some people feel an overwhelming amount of emotion alone, but I think a lot do swing to the other side and go for solely logic

  • @rogpigamedev
    @rogpigamedev 3 года назад +658

    Is cool seeing Dr K. work, cuz when he finds something like: "Ahh, this could be it" he grins and you can see how much fun he's having. That's passion man. So nice

    • @aniyilator
      @aniyilator 3 года назад +19

      Ikr? He's such an inspiration

    • @toastybowl
      @toastybowl 2 года назад +3

      Gamer moment

    • @alimay967
      @alimay967 Год назад +1

      Absolutely 👍👍👍

    • @tolutoluhi7252
      @tolutoluhi7252 Год назад +1

      Honestly I love this, especially as a therapist in training lol

  • @thewildhealer541
    @thewildhealer541 3 года назад +1060

    Scarra is an amazing and loveable person

    • @AnonymousuomynonA
      @AnonymousuomynonA 3 года назад

      *persona

    • @vinh_em
      @vinh_em 3 года назад +27

      @@AnonymousuomynonA William Jimmy Li, known as Scarra, is an amazing and loveable person

  • @callmebird8798
    @callmebird8798 3 года назад +283

    "Catch yourself before you dodge"
    I watched this 4 months ago and took what u guys said to heart. Ive moved out and got myself a full-time job. Thank you for getting me out of my zombie state of mind.
    EDIT: 3/2/2022
    I'm now a Explosive Expert in Training getting paid and got myself a place to live. I need to put in extra hours into a apartment building I put a down payment on but I think its gonna be worth it. It was a hard bit of work but as long as I catch myself before I make a excuse of why I cant do something. I and all of you can do anything.

    • @samueluzcategui7567
      @samueluzcategui7567 3 года назад +6

      Congrats!

    • @D_Jilla
      @D_Jilla 3 года назад +8

      That's amazing friend! Keep up the good work!

    • @OMIMreacts
      @OMIMreacts 3 года назад +3

      🙏🙏🙏 this should be the top comment! well done!

    • @LOLmisscrazy
      @LOLmisscrazy 2 года назад +2

      Love that for you!!! Wishing you all the best!

    • @jeanieologie
      @jeanieologie 2 года назад +4

      I hope you're doing well even if what was happening didn't work out. I'm mid-interview now and praying something will click for me. For real. I have shit I wanna do, I wanna be happy, and if it's right for us I want to get the LOML back. I really need this help :(

  • @torres1461
    @torres1461 3 года назад +602

    Scarra is the most genuine sweetheart out there and I’ll simp for him till the day i die

    • @empiricus2211
      @empiricus2211 3 года назад +7

      same

    • @whoshotya117
      @whoshotya117 3 года назад +2

      Man thats like your mom saying she would date you. It's worthless and cringe and makes the person feel even more pathetic.

    • @torres1461
      @torres1461 3 года назад +22

      @@whoshotya117 damn that’s crazy :|

    • @YuketsuGaming
      @YuketsuGaming 3 года назад +4

      @@whoshotya117 wth

    • @icannottakeitanymore2287
      @icannottakeitanymore2287 3 года назад +4

      @@whoshotya117 sounds like your projecting,but with that said that is pretty true.

  • @varasatoshi3961
    @varasatoshi3961 3 года назад +375

    I think a lot of us forget how smart and successful, and all around badass Scarra is.
    Not only is he really funny, but he was the organizer and creator of one of the largest online content brands to grace RUclips and twitch.

    • @wildfire9280
      @wildfire9280 Год назад +3

      Ohhh that’s what that “Osu” thing on r/paint was. I literally had no idea what it was until now 💀

  • @DodInTheSky
    @DodInTheSky Год назад +79

    Scarra has a really thick shield of logic defending his feelings. He knows logically knows what to feel and do but doesn’t feel it emotionally. Kudos to Dr. K for recognising that as quickly as he did.

  • @trulyinfamous16
    @trulyinfamous16 3 года назад +558

    I hope Scarra sees the amount of love being shown for him in the comment section. He really is a good dude
    On another note, I feel like we are so close to getting a Toast session. Slowly but surely we are working our way through the OTV gang and having on Toast on here will the Endgame like event.

    • @easyluckable
      @easyluckable 3 года назад +16

      Yeah, Toast would be the endgame

    • @IMTSin
      @IMTSin 3 года назад +37

      I am pretty sure that he said he wouldn't do it.

    • @sakurab0t
      @sakurab0t 3 года назад +28

      That would be cool, but I think toast said he wouldn’t do it

    • @ramseshinojosa6155
      @ramseshinojosa6155 3 года назад +7

      He really said that? Damn man, I was hoping to see him sometime soon

    • @trulyinfamous16
      @trulyinfamous16 3 года назад +79

      @@IMTSin he has progressively updated this answer. Now it’s “Dr. K’s team has been aggressively contacting me and... i don’t know. I feel like I would cry”

  • @BacchusGames
    @BacchusGames 3 года назад +151

    I love Scarra and this interview, but damn watching Dr.K in this session is the most I've felt like I'm watching a master at his craft. Going back to the question "What do you see in the mirror" in different connotations is something I don't think I would have ever come up with, and it feels so impactful.

    • @sareatonin
      @sareatonin 3 года назад +12

      I agree!! Like the tension in the air was thick but it’s all a learning curve and a chance to improve. I love them both, it was very interesting to watch

    • @sugalofe4131
      @sugalofe4131 3 года назад +8

      You can also see him key in on the topic in the first interaction. It was wildly impressive to see him hone in on it, and then slowly work around to getting into it. Deconstructing answers and questions with insane precision.

  • @Miguelplaysgaming
    @Miguelplaysgaming 3 года назад +790

    “People call friends family to avoid feeling romantic feelings for their friends”
    Mikasa: he’s family

    • @WanderTheNomad
      @WanderTheNomad 3 года назад +29

      "He's like a brother to me."

    • @breathingstill
      @breathingstill 3 года назад +7

      why did this hit closer to home than I expected

    • @_unseenhunter_5093
      @_unseenhunter_5093 3 года назад +23

      @@WanderTheNomad yeah, a brother from Alabama

    • @anshi5098
      @anshi5098 3 года назад +1

      noooooooooooooooooo how does this fit so well

    • @izio1111
      @izio1111 3 года назад

      LMAOOOOASDassdaaSD

  • @ouwle6618
    @ouwle6618 3 года назад +173

    "As i become the rational part fo you, what do you become?"
    "Worried"

  • @disbkris2923
    @disbkris2923 3 года назад +98

    Dude I feel him on the first part sooooo much he's thinking hard about what he's saying to not say anything wrong. He's not actually saying what's on his mind he's just thinking about a good answer to the question, I do this a lot.

  • @uhwaykin
    @uhwaykin 3 года назад +434

    I think Scarra's defense mechanisms are there as much to hold in pain as they are to protect him from pain being inflicted.

    • @uav2246
      @uav2246 3 года назад +31

      That's how it works for me I think. As a man, I've been taught to hold it all in a hidden room and use the knowledge of that pain to avoid more. :( Love scarra.

    • @cjpe2265
      @cjpe2265 3 года назад +2

      @@uav2246 i feel this ❤

    • @OhSoSnake
      @OhSoSnake 3 года назад +8

      this is how all defense mechanisms (which are a part of ego) work universally, i think.

    • @jacepayne8883
      @jacepayne8883 3 года назад

      I think you're right, and have great taste in music..R.I.P. DOOM

  • @2000barna
    @2000barna 3 года назад +189

    when scarra said "beep boop" I really felt that..

  • @hmongguyful
    @hmongguyful 3 года назад +120

    I really felt for scarra here when he started saying that his friends don't truly understand or know him and how he has a sense of low self worth. And how he's been handling that feeling is the understanding that he will never be perfect which isn't solving anything

  • @Imyourcherryybomb
    @Imyourcherryybomb 3 года назад +384

    Every time he asks "What do you see when you look in the mirror?" hits harder than it has to.

    • @foggyvhs8790
      @foggyvhs8790 3 года назад +6

      I'm frustrated that I definitely have issues with how I look, but I can't understand what I see looking in the mirror

    • @naderayad3228
      @naderayad3228 3 года назад +7

      it is something like in good will hunting
      saying it is not your fault and every time it hits stronger

    • @ohjajaja
      @ohjajaja 3 года назад +4

      @@foggyvhs8790 Most people would probably start thinking a lot and maybe point out inperfections in their look when doing this. Keep in mind though that this is supposed to be a meditation. Be aware, but stop analyzing. Just scan yourself. It does not matter if you just look yourself into the eyes for minutes or scan your whole body. You just have to recognize you are there, and be in that moment with yourself. It is more about the feeling of "meeting yourself".
      Just throwing thoughts here.

    • @foggyvhs8790
      @foggyvhs8790 3 года назад +2

      @@ohjajaja still hard to understand, also hard to understand what being present is. Kinda learned what it’s meant /not/ to be present. Dunno if I’m getting it wrong but in terms of acceptance I guess I can say maybe I am ugly but so what. Making progress in some ways but honestly don’t think I’ve made any in loving myself, it feels impossible without becoming another person entirely

  • @Sean.F
    @Sean.F 3 года назад +104

    The Motivational Interviewing part was so fucking good!!
    1:38:20 Scarra is just so receptive to it, and so used to being on the "other side", that it makes it look like Dr. K was using Jedi mind tricks.
    Love seeing the way he thinks and processes these things, and would love to see a follow-up interview! Scarra is such an awesome guy.

    • @yadsewnde
      @yadsewnde 3 года назад +2

      Ikr? I was mesmerized! Kept thinking of like card/top/animal fighting anime where you see a visual of a character trapped by another characters attack even if it's not actually hurting the other character (hope that makes sense. The gist is I was just really impressed)

    • @tfkrockhard
      @tfkrockhard 3 года назад +1

      This will be so good to learn motivational interviewing as a social worker.

  • @sarapocorn
    @sarapocorn 3 года назад +690

    I have not known Scarra before, but now 44mins in I have to say that he seems like an authentically kind person and I do genuinely find him attractive. I hope he will feel that way about himself someday as well.

    • @sarapocorn
      @sarapocorn 3 года назад +127

      checking back in after finishing:
      I am 26 years old and have found that the number one thing, emotionally, that I have had issues with partners with was emotional connection.
      The level of reflection needed to ‚see‘ another person, see their layers, fears, motivations and meet them there. love them, not despite, but BECAUSE you have insight into their multilayered selves.
      It is so incredibly hard to learn, but I have found that even if everything else was right, they were organised, reliable, interesting, attractive to me, etc - if that form of intimacy is missing, I will not feel at home in a relationship and leave, sooner or later.
      Scarra, however, has that ability. And this is why I truly believe he makes a great partner. And anyone else in his position, no matter how you look and how much money you make, so do you.

    • @karole7345
      @karole7345 3 года назад +8

      Why use the word genuinely. Is it because he's rich?

    • @BebehCookieIcecream
      @BebehCookieIcecream 3 года назад +136

      @@karole7345 No, it's to dodge stupid questions like this that try to subvert someone's declaration of attraction. It's *genuine* attraction because of his earnest efforts to emotionally connect. Do you think genuine attraction is monetary? Because liking someone for money is not romantic attraction.

    • @sarapocorn
      @sarapocorn 3 года назад +169

      @@karole7345 no. I do not know anything about him outside of this video and do not know or care about his financial situation, though I am happy he is not struggling financially.
      And neither am I. I hold a master‘s and am a college professor in Switzerland, I have all my material needs more than covered myself.
      You are the person whose mind jumped straight to money, so maybe you‘d want to reflect on that. That‘s all I have to say to you and I hope you have a nice day :)

    • @weeknd7245
      @weeknd7245 3 года назад +1

      Then give him a sucky nuff said go on make a move

  • @revaamritkar7281
    @revaamritkar7281 3 года назад +250

    Totally wasn't expecting this but what a welcome surprise! Dr. K's really going to cycle through all of OfflineTV & Friends and I'm here for it.

    • @reviera634
      @reviera634 3 года назад +15

      Maybe Sykkuno too

    • @jey1834
      @jey1834 3 года назад

      @@suaviduds toast already said he wasn't coming on

    • @imperialbagel
      @imperialbagel 2 года назад

      @@jey1834 I’ve got news for you!

    • @jey1834
      @jey1834 2 года назад

      @@imperialbagel i wasn't wrong? he said he only did it cuz he felt forced lmao

  • @shinkamui
    @shinkamui 3 года назад +79

    At 1:38:20 when scarra asks dr K ''does that make sense'' YUP the reverse has taken hold. He's even adopting the language mannerism. Which is nothing short of fantastic lol. I know this is the tip of the iceberg for the emotional undercurrents that are going on, but what a beautiful tip.

  • @loloioi
    @loloioi 3 года назад +90

    @28:45 Note that Dr.K made Scarra come to that conclusion himself without having to tell him. That's something incredibly important to pick up on. The rest just falls into place.

  • @klaxxon450
    @klaxxon450 3 года назад +263

    Holy shit, this was like looking at my own reflection. I couldn't stop crying, wtf....how can it be so relatable!!??

    • @goneforever2618
      @goneforever2618 3 года назад +69

      “You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.”
      ― James Baldwin

    • @fox5352
      @fox5352 3 года назад +1

      I feel you I was born with off centre jaw

    • @Angel-oj4zs
      @Angel-oj4zs 3 года назад

      I hope you are feeling better and are feeling motivated!

    • @klaxxon450
      @klaxxon450 3 года назад +4

      @@Angel-oj4zs Thanks for checking up, I am doing a lot better since I started watching Dr. K's vids.

    • @OMIMreacts
      @OMIMreacts 3 года назад

      @@klaxxon450 letsgooo! happy to hear that you are having insights about yourself!

  • @brumpbotungus8425
    @brumpbotungus8425 3 года назад +80

    Scarra's so brave for opening up to so many people. I feel like that question of "What do you think when you look in the mirror?" is so scary. I can relate to him a lot with almost everything that he said.

  • @Kvh47
    @Kvh47 3 года назад +61

    I do the same as Scarra, as in I also plan ahead when meeting someone. I make sure I am fully rested so I am high energy, try to make sure that it is worth their time and sometimes I even make a list of things I should ask them about so I seem interested in what is going on in their lives. Problem is that when someone shows up unannounced I completly shut down. it also costs a lot of energy so when people leave I need to be alone for a bit to recharge.

    • @TheGrzB
      @TheGrzB 3 года назад +5

      It's sad to hear that. People shows up unannounced because the relation grows enough to feel like it's appropriate. I'm not sure if all that preparation does not backfire in the end because it's hard to keep that up when friendship advance.

    • @Kvh47
      @Kvh47 3 года назад

      @@TheGrzB What do you mean with when friendship advance? someone is a friend or not right? there are no levels to it.

    • @TheGrzB
      @TheGrzB 3 года назад +3

      @@Kvh47 I see that differently but it's fine. I can be on different levels depending on activities with different friends. Let's say i have friend who is terrible with secrets and we both know about it i will not share them with him because it's bad for both of us but I can have other one who is great about. The other thing is I don't become someone friend instant it's progress when we both realize we appreciate each other company willing to accept flaws of each other. I'm older guy so maybe it's different approach, I want people to like me for who I am and for me preparation how You describe it is something I will not be able to keep up with so I will create image of myself impossible to keep up with time. I'm very open person and very easy fit into groups so probably that's why my views are so different.

  • @Zenju__
    @Zenju__ 3 года назад +169

    I really enjoyed this one, got some great moments of self-awareness, breaking down defenses and mutual appreciation here. Some highlights for me (which do require context):
    1:37:42 Logical thinking can only go so far for our emotional lives. Also, lowering defenses means entering a living Hell
    1:48:38 A door left unopened festered into a whole damn mansion
    1:49:50 Scarra gives his honest, affectionate (juicy) praise
    1:55:02 Dr. K strikes back with some honest praise of his own. Just take it!
    Scarra is a sweet man and I wish him all the best.

  • @xZeke97
    @xZeke97 3 года назад +48

    This one felt personal, I have the same self esteem issues than Scarra does. I also have always said Ill try dating once I lose weight, ill gain confidence to get friends once I start to like myself more. But I know that will never happen by itself regardless of my goals.

    • @ボイヤ-u7u
      @ボイヤ-u7u 3 года назад +1

      I feel the exact same way bro. I hope that both you and I end up getting there

    • @Datan1234
      @Datan1234 3 года назад +2

      Just start. Literally all you need. Do 10 push-ups tonight and keep it goin, chat up the next best chick you come along. It’s really simple. Now I only gotta convince of that myself...btw six pack and all that stuff don’t do shit.

    • @LaNoireDetruit
      @LaNoireDetruit 3 года назад +1

      How about turning the argument around? "I will have the courage and support I need to change things, once I have good friends"?

  • @Yogryph
    @Yogryph 3 года назад +43

    definitely one of the more complicated and nuanced interviews out there. Scarra has a lot of depth to dig through

  • @madscot_
    @madscot_ 3 года назад +13

    I'm realising so much that I'm like Scarra. Same age, same struggles with feelings and dating, just love in general. Never feeling I'm good enough for girls I want to approach and I just step back. I feel like I've missed out on so many love stories because of that and I've missed my chance. I've cried multiple times through this because it felt like it was me talking. Dr K is an amazing dude and I'm gonna take on board some of the advice he's given here.

  • @sunnyrandomz
    @sunnyrandomz 3 года назад +107

    The Don Scarra has taken the seat! Let's goooooo!

  • @nommable
    @nommable 3 года назад +10

    This was an incredible interview. I don't watch streamers and don't know Scarra, but listening to this, I realized I'm in a very similar place, where I deflect my own negative emotions because they're 'unproductive'. I was journaling while listening to this and I had just the biggest breakthrough, where I was crying and facing emotions I have been trying but unable to access for quite a long time. Thanks Scarra for being vulnerable with us, and thanks Dr. K for your immeasurably valuable guidance.

    • @moralapostilion1761
      @moralapostilion1761 3 года назад

      Dunno if u will see this since it’s kinda late, but: Good job! I wish u the best on ur journey. Ur not alone. A lot of us are working on ourselves striving for the right path.

  • @hokiepokie
    @hokiepokie 3 года назад +72

    Dr. K has said time and time again: don't thank me, thank the person that is interviewed. After this interview I finally REALLY understand what he meant all this time.
    Holy shit Scarra, you're so insightful thank you so much for coming on an being so genuine and open, you've really helped me!

  • @ahawkone8850
    @ahawkone8850 3 года назад +31

    Never heard of Scarra before but man I started crying at the end. Reminded me of my therapist a while ago.
    I’m glad they had this conversation and thanks to both of them for moving through it so elegantly.

  • @easyluckable
    @easyluckable 3 года назад +181

    Now, Toast is the only one left in OTV who hasn’t came to Dr. K session, really hope we can see him be here one day.

    • @samuelgiraudo8748
      @samuelgiraudo8748 3 года назад +2

      Well, there's also Sykkuno

    • @miguelbailon6581
      @miguelbailon6581 3 года назад +52

      @@samuelgiraudo8748 Sykkuno isn't an official member of OTV

    • @samuelgiraudo8748
      @samuelgiraudo8748 3 года назад +11

      @@miguelbailon6581 Ah, that makes sense. Thanks you for the clarification :)

    • @shirleyy2979
      @shirleyy2979 3 года назад +38

      Toast has talked about it on stream before, he said he would talk to dr k privately if an interview ever happens. He feels it’s difficult to abandon his stream personality in public.

    • @momoshinigami
      @momoshinigami 3 года назад +11

      Sykkuno also said he preferred to talk something like this with his close friends~

  • @thetrustysidekick3013
    @thetrustysidekick3013 3 года назад +24

    I'm so happy scarra's on this show.
    He's a genuinely good person, and he really needed someone to tell him these things.

  • @dr.bandito60
    @dr.bandito60 3 года назад +21

    Really lovely interview. Scarra seems great.
    This discussion jogged some insight for me.
    So many of us live with beliefs from our past that shape how we interpret other people to be perceiving us. It bleeds into every interaction.
    When you have a heaviness about your social interactions, the people close to you usually pick up on it. You seem more closed off. Someone who may have otherwise had a romantic interest, decides instead to give you space.
    In my experience, if you believe yourself to be unloveable, someone loving you won’t change your mind. You’ll just be waiting for it to end.
    But if you can learn to see yourself more positively, many things are possible.

    • @annak3325
      @annak3325 3 года назад

      agreed.

    • @sori6196
      @sori6196 2 года назад +1

      Screenshotted this comment because it’s so beautifully written and I needed this message

  • @Sarasor
    @Sarasor 3 года назад +24

    Man you are so good at switching sides. I love the way you suddenly and passionately started taking his defensive side. Great talk guys.
    Scarra seems like such an intelligent and genuinely good person that he would bring a lot of happiness into a lucky girl's life.
    Self worth can be scary sometimes

  • @eltjeau
    @eltjeau 3 года назад +16

    "not being good enough" cognitive changing to "for someone else".. you are great enough.. let your feelings come through scarra

  • @easyluckable
    @easyluckable 3 года назад +55

    Honestly, Scarra was certainly not my favourite members in OTV before , but I’ve watched more Scarra recently, I’ve grown so much respect for him, such a cool dude.

  • @substanceplayer2088
    @substanceplayer2088 3 года назад +21

    I've been a fan of Scarra for almost 10 years now. He was the first pro league player I ever saw and really drove my passion for video games further than it had ever went. He's an amazing person, player, and streamer and I want nothing but the best for him

  • @veradrost9654
    @veradrost9654 3 года назад +191

    Scarra was always attractive to me and I hurt for him to hear that he didn't think women liked him. This interview broke down the reasons why he said that and I hope Scarra will slowly but surely learn that women find him extremely attractive; Not just physically either.
    He's smart. Determined. Cares about his friends and family. He's funny, kind. Hell, he's succesful and able to sustain himself without problem. All of those traits are extremely attractive to your average woman. Some may dislike his weight/appearance, but the vast majority either won't care or like him more because of it.
    GAH IT'S SO FRUSTRATING. I hope you find love, Scarra. You deserve a buddy who'll show you how much you're worth.

    • @VestigeFinder
      @VestigeFinder 3 года назад +21

      nah he needs to lose weight. Then he'll become more confident and happy with himself, then he will be more attractive physically and emotionally

    • @veradrost9654
      @veradrost9654 3 года назад +50

      ​@@VestigeFinder Weight loss doesn't equate happiness or confidence, and I say that as someone currently losing weight and feeling happier because of reaching my set fitness goals and dealing with my mental health on the side.
      Most mentally unwell people trade their fat insecurities for thin insecurities.
      You do not have to be the "ideal" weight to love yourself or to be loved by others, either, so I'm unsure why you found it important to bring up.

    • @VestigeFinder
      @VestigeFinder 3 года назад +16

      @@veradrost9654 I brought it up because scarra is fat and out of shape, and he says he is insecure because he doesn't like what he sees in the mirror. Some fat people can be happy and content being in an unhealthy state, but scarra doesn't seem to be one of those people. Also, exercise literally boosts the natural chemicals in your brain that make you happy, so there is no reason not to workout.

    • @veradrost9654
      @veradrost9654 3 года назад +17

      @@VestigeFinder I'm not getting the impression you're saying all this because you care about his well-being. Do correct if wrong tho. There's a lot of gymbros on RUclips that think any and all "fat" people can fix all their problems by just becoming their preffered body type.
      He could be talking about his hair, his face, his posture, his teeth, his nose, his eyes, his legs, his height - literally anything - but you assume it's about his weight. Why?
      From my point of view it's important to be mentally healthy and accept your body for what it is before you try to change it. To prevent fucky thought patterns that lead to disorders and the like.

    • @SuperLotus
      @SuperLotus 3 года назад +15

      @@veradrost9654 There's a mega thread on bodybuilding dot com with hundreds of posts by people (men and women) who talk about experiences before and after weight loss (or weight gain). They talk about how different they were treated by people when they were in shape (although some guys still had issues dating). Sure, you might still have low self esteem, psychological issues, imposter syndrome, etc. after losing weight, but those can all be compounded by being overweight and too often people are told appearance doesn't matter when most of the time that's just a platitude.

  • @uh-ooooh
    @uh-ooooh Год назад +6

    Damn. Dr.K went through a lot of those barriers so expertly that's insane. I know I shouldn't be surprised since you're an expert obviously but it was so well done how you navigated something that most people would find really difficult and rigid to

  • @raynac224
    @raynac224 3 года назад +8

    I like this :) I think one of the biggest steps logical minded people have to take is the realization that sometimes your logical ideas are illogical because they are not incorporating the effect that the idea will have on your own and other peoples emotions. Analyzing humans logically our brains are not set up well for logic, emotions generate much stronger reactions so they are a very important variables to consider when reviewing a scenario.

    • @TomTomDam
      @TomTomDam 3 года назад +3

      It's so interesting that one of our greatest tools as humans is logic, yet at the same time we somehow think so hard about things that we sometimes end up betraying our logic.

  • @pal_2006
    @pal_2006 3 года назад +37

    Actually watching this interview instead of just listening is so much better than the other interviews because watching doctor k interact with the chat with subtle winks and smiles is so funny when he and the chat knows what he's doing but not scarra

    • @Richie33404
      @Richie33404 3 года назад +3

      I agree; I’ve been just listening to these but the facial and body language adds a lot!

  • @breezebee
    @breezebee 3 года назад +12

    Been watching scarra for a while now. I’ve never loved another streamers episode on Dr. K more than Scarra’s, truly a genuine guy who tries his best. His logical way of thinking is very relatable, and I understand his struggle with that. Hope nothing but the best for him

  • @curseyoux
    @curseyoux 3 года назад +127

    "Look at yourself in the mirror and just notice." I instantly got extreme anxiety LOL maybe it's time for me to see a therapist...

    • @fungling7982
      @fungling7982 3 года назад +21

      Yea, everyone can get lots of help from a therapist, humans are pathological in nature due to self-awareness. Even if we don't notice it.

    • @jameshercals9651
      @jameshercals9651 3 года назад +2

      I recommend you do!

  • @ckv954
    @ckv954 3 года назад +31

    His dodges are so interesting to see, I hope he thinks more about how he does it in his own mind.

  • @baddabeer4862
    @baddabeer4862 3 года назад +16

    This helped me. I really feel like I’ve adapted to the point of maladaptive.
    I’ve cut so much away that I am a shadow of that younger me that felt the pains.

  • @tonjolley6422
    @tonjolley6422 3 года назад +19

    I'm so happy we got to see this side of Scarra and that Dr. K could too. I hope Scarra starts to realize he is a very loveable and worthwhile person to have around, even in a relationship. He's not that bad on the eyes either. If he feels is weight holds him back, luckily it is very able to be changed. Thank you Scarra, and Dr. K.

  • @jletsgoo
    @jletsgoo 3 года назад +40

    1:01:27 sometimes ppl think of their friends as family bc they're afraid of what would happen if they had romantic feelings towards their friends...
    woah,.
    1:05:00 like a dodge tank - trained yourself to dodge, so to willingly not move when its coming your way is no easy task
    1:09:04 What are you really afraid of? (learning to vocalise how you feel)
    1:13:34 Self fufilling prophecy: not feeling good enough
    1:15:58 Can you ask them if you don't feel confident in yourself?
    1:17:03 I want you to chase love bro!!
    1:30:10 Are you the rational part of me now?

  • @astew2245
    @astew2245 3 года назад +15

    1:55:14 "Sit with the praise, don't deflect it" Just.... BEAUTIFUL catch there 🤣

  • @chloerene7858
    @chloerene7858 3 года назад +6

    I just always love hearing Dr K talk and watching how he interacts with people and tries to get to the core of issues. So interesting, it feels like I'm working through my own problems no matter who he is talking to. I wish I could find a therapist like him near me lol! He seems extremely knowledgeable.

  • @wadalapichu4873
    @wadalapichu4873 3 года назад +15

    i like scarra so much, thanks dr k for having him :)

  • @MrBaumgratz
    @MrBaumgratz 3 года назад +16

    Dr. K is op, holy shit, what a good interview. I think a lot of people would benefit from this, I certainly did. Really happy for Scarra, I am 100% sure this helped him and he fucking deserves.

  • @lunargraph
    @lunargraph 3 года назад +8

    I hope scarra knows that a lot of people love and respect him and his work. He's such a delight to watch, I feel so drawn to his streams.
    Thank you so much to dr k for doing this for him and thank you to scarra for being this vunerable online. I sympathize with his struggles so much and i feel like this helped me a lot too, if that makes sense.

  • @rawrara
    @rawrara 3 года назад +8

    God the journey and rollercoaster that Scarra has gone through during this talk is so exciting and brings a smile to my face everytime he understands things. Loved it so much. Thanks Dr.K and Scarra!

  • @DeBeOtaku
    @DeBeOtaku 3 года назад +12

    1:20 "I literally have all day"
    1:44:58 "I wanna let you know I have probably, like, 18 minutes..."
    I love Scarra!

  • @seansullivan5135
    @seansullivan5135 3 года назад +2

    I didn't even know who this guy was, but I fuck with him now. Literally spoke the truth with all the good , bad , and everything in between. It takes an adult to acknowledge and find acceptance for who they are. Good to see the strive for self-improvement 🙏💯

  • @ToriKo_
    @ToriKo_ 3 года назад +17

    Watched it on stream, leaving a comment for the algorithm

  • @deseanlothian
    @deseanlothian Год назад +1

    41:47 Bless this professionalism, I was scared to watch an interview with scarra, but with this said; don't have to worry.
    This man taught me league and so many more don't really wanna see him defenseless.

  • @faceofdead
    @faceofdead 3 года назад +16

    I've always liked Scarra as a streamer and person. Too logical at times, but this is why we are all here, in search for balance. Love will come when we feel ready. Love will come when we open up :) Thank you for the conversation!

  • @Pippaqueenofdumb
    @Pippaqueenofdumb 3 года назад +15

    "That's where they went, where did they start?"
    Perfect counter parry, Marvellous!

  • @ZvCkt
    @ZvCkt 3 года назад +86

    Dr K is just too damn good. That role reversal was some 9k IQ Imposter move. Played Scarra like a fiddle

  • @hecatrice2064
    @hecatrice2064 3 года назад +12

    Scarra is amazing. I've been following him since 2013 and he helped me understand League. Unlike most streamers he was very positive and helpful.

  • @noBoxKhan
    @noBoxKhan 3 года назад +10

    37:30
    Something about those words struck deep within me. I kind of felt that yellow light Scarra was mentioning earlier. Very insightful.

  • @ODDERBOTTER
    @ODDERBOTTER Год назад +1

    Dr. K's point about taking on negative traits as we grow finally put into words my struggle with changing as a person. There are bad qualities that I would like to shed, but I was fearing that I would be the type of person I dislike, but I'm realizing that it's necessary. Like for example, I want to be more social and I fear if I'm more outgoing, I might be "That annoying guy" if I approach people more, but to become more sociable, I have to understand that I may have to be that guy in some judgmental person's eyes if I want to get myself out there more

  • @karrrot
    @karrrot 3 года назад +4

    hating your physical appearance is such an important and rarely talked about topic, this helped me tremendously but I wish it went even deeper - hopefully he will be on again! Dr K please talk more about the cognitive bias of thinking you are unlovable because of the way you look, based on people telling you that all your life. How does someone overcome this and learn to not feel like garbage every time you look in the mirror?

  • @daiseysays
    @daiseysays Год назад +1

    I have no idea who the this Scarra is and seems to be certainly courageous to do this live and really wonderful to allow other be helped by it. To a random observer such as myself there is no reason this Scarra should wait any longer than has to share this bit of wonderful whatever and experience it with another how ever it plays out in life.
    This Dr K- I’ve watched a couple and is neat how he does this online AND streamed. Thought about this many a time and only saw constraints; this is a solid way to work around constraints and offer much many

  • @_Alex_F
    @_Alex_F Год назад +6

    I just came to know of the existence of this channel. I must say, I admire the ability to get so "exposed" and do a therapy session on a public live stream/video on youtube. This is even more true with someone like Scarra who is really well known in the gaming community. Seeing all the positive feedback in the comments is really refreshing.

  • @LazyInnovator
    @LazyInnovator 2 месяца назад

    Dr K is one of the best conversationalist I have ever seen! ❤ He can go deep without making people feel too defensive, which tells me that he really LISTENS.

  • @deepakrajendra8019
    @deepakrajendra8019 3 года назад +12

    1:39:55 That wink tho!
    Seriously, absolutely stunned by that thing that Dr. K did there. Emotional interviewing was it?

    • @mysigt_
      @mysigt_ 3 года назад +1

      Motivational interviewing

  • @TheDhammaHub
    @TheDhammaHub 3 года назад +24

    It really helps to experience that what you do matters - even the small things have an effect and it is possible to change things for the better

  • @BeyondtheRecord
    @BeyondtheRecord 3 года назад +3

    53:36 "kinda what you are doing right now" JESUS THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD MOMENT, wasn't expecting that reaction and it threw me off-guard

  • @camilletiongson871
    @camilletiongson871 3 года назад +6

    This beautiful person 🥺 always thinking about his friends and their happiness 😭❤️❤️

  • @ezy5138
    @ezy5138 3 года назад +4

    One of the first interviews I've watched the entirety of - super helpful. It was really interesting to see Scarra's thought processes and how they progressed over the course. Huge thanks to both Scarra and Dr. K !

  • @ethancollins7575
    @ethancollins7575 3 года назад +3

    Goodness there is not a kinder more entertaining person in the lol community than scarra. He deserves the world and more. Awesome interview

  • @filipdilmaghani9594
    @filipdilmaghani9594 2 года назад +6

    This video shows how incredibly good Dr K is at what he does.

  • @squishyushi
    @squishyushi 10 месяцев назад

    Ok I love Scarra, this episode was amazing and I hope he catches his dodge more and more often. I hope he comes on again or maybe he already have, idk how old this stream is.
    Something this session made me realize is that, the way Dr.K talks to his guests (and kinda how therapy is when you have a good therapist) is basically grinding the persons brain by giving them a second brain to analyze and repeat what the person is saying about themselves and then gives them the ability to realize if that statement was really how they feel about themselves or gives them the opportunity to disassemble the statement
    This channel is so fuckin cool

  • @ponidecthulhu
    @ponidecthulhu 3 года назад +32

    I hate this idea that just because you don't think you're good enough, you can't be good for anyone else either. Like, in which way having a cloudy judgement can make you unworthy of being loved? Just because you have low self-esteem, doesn't mean someone else can't see how wonderful you are, and therefore, help you see that part of yourself you can't find anymore.

    • @Alesanascreamokid
      @Alesanascreamokid 3 года назад +1

      Absolutely

    • @Datan1234
      @Datan1234 3 года назад

      You misunderstand. He’s convinced he isn’t a good guy. He seems pretty self confident. Which means he thinks his judgment is accurate, and ey who knows oneself better than anybody else? Scarra only That he doesn’t, that’s the travesty of this

    • @lucasinator
      @lucasinator 3 года назад +2

      I think its more about if u have low self-esteem the relationship will be toxic because u dont believe your so loves u and you will self sabotage to prove your belief right. Maybe.

    • @vilhelmkron2663
      @vilhelmkron2663 3 месяца назад

      Ofc but he has to like them too, and in his mind its impossible for them and he to like them. Foolish comment imo.

  • @miut7995
    @miut7995 Год назад +1

    I’m so glad I found this channel. I love psychology and this interview frustrates me because I can see that we almost get to acknowledgment of the issue but it’s like getting close to the finish line in Mario Kart and then dies right before you cross the line. . 😢
    Seems like a great guy. Too bad he has so many walls up. Hope he comes to the realization that he has all the power to change reality if he stops sabotaging himself by deflecting from absence of self-esteem by overcompensating with rationalizations and logic.
    Rooting for you to work through it! So many great guys out there stuck in their own head.

  • @c-thrukrypton6508
    @c-thrukrypton6508 3 года назад +11

    Scarra is such a strong person its unbelievable. He never lets any of it show on stream...

  • @sunshinegirl2015
    @sunshinegirl2015 4 месяца назад

    Scarra seems like SUCH a genuine person! I think if he could show himself the same level of care, consideration and appreciation that he shows others it would help a lot.

  • @CapeEniEer
    @CapeEniEer 3 года назад +10

    omg i was grinding on a game and started tearing up when Scarra started thanking Dr.K, then I minimised the game and saw Dr.K tearing up too

  • @eadamic17
    @eadamic17 3 года назад +1

    Big up this man, this psychologist and all the other people who are willing to have personal and potentially provocative discussions like this openly on the Internet. It is unbelievable how interesting and helpful it is to hear, even for someone like me who has not had anything to do with video games for 15 years.

  • @vic_cresss
    @vic_cresss 3 года назад +6

    I TOTALLY relate with the lack of empathy thing, I still feel that way towards people, but I can also be very empathetic towards people too, it really just depends on my mood 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • @zhangdynasty1486
    @zhangdynasty1486 3 года назад +65

    Just today I woke up and wanted to see OTV meet with dr. K
    I have developed a third eye for this channel
    👁
    👁 👄 👁

  • @F.Castle
    @F.Castle 3 года назад +9

    wow man that conversation was a whole other level.

  • @migz101199
    @migz101199 2 года назад +1

    Im not a regular watcher of scarra but whenver I do watch him, he always feels genuine and I always liked him as a person and as a content creator

  • @kyuuketsukikun420
    @kyuuketsukikun420 3 года назад +3

    this has been so helpful. i also never knew how much i had in common with scarra as far as mindset and self esteem

  • @sofiaanimais
    @sofiaanimais 3 года назад +1

    I relate so much to scarra's behavior towards his friends, this was rlly eye opening to me (Def talking abt it with my therapist this week lol). Made me admire both dr.k and scarra so much more too. Thank you so much for this video

  • @SuperEnderSteve
    @SuperEnderSteve 3 года назад +5

    Its actually so insane that they both can appreciate each other on such a deep level just after talking for 2 hours. My Mind = Blown

  • @MrJoshyyB
    @MrJoshyyB 3 года назад +1

    I dont know to much about scarra and his life but I can relate to most of what he said in this video. Self esteem for me has been a life long journey. I hope you’re making moves and if you ever need a virtual workout buddy I’m always up for the accountability!

  • @NYHornet
    @NYHornet 3 года назад +45

    When Scarra talks about using self-hate as motivation for making conscious efforts to change something about himself, it reminds me of how I felt when trying to lose weight and I wonder if that's why there's so much hate towards fat people from people that used to be fat.

    • @iamfack1179
      @iamfack1179 3 года назад +1

      Honestly I had way more self hatred towards myself when I was just slightly overweight (according to bmi) then anyone had towards me ever. Not to say no one bullies fat people in school or stuff like that but it can often come from you more than from others

    • @Datan1234
      @Datan1234 3 года назад +1

      Nah not at all, you’re ducking up your body real bad. I’ve been a smoker since 14. and im healthier than you. Let that sink in. Btw I’m not talking out of my ass. I recommend looking up stats on children of alcoholics and obese people. Hope it’ll shake you out of your funk, maybe you just need a real shock.

    • @libihiti
      @libihiti 3 года назад +3

      I feel like being overweight shouldn’t allow bullying. Instead, encouraging change for the better with positivity. Being overweight could affect your health in deadly ways so it should be helped not ridiculed.

    • @deleted01
      @deleted01 3 года назад +2

      @@Datan1234 I agree with you on the health risk of obesity, but your reaction to obesity is abnormal; it's not just about obesity for you. You must've been aware that your words could be hurtful, so why do you say things like that?

    • @eggi4443
      @eggi4443 3 года назад

      @@Datan1234 obesity fucks up your body, but any amount of alcohol fucks up your brain irreversibly. which is imo like 10 times worse

  • @orpheos9
    @orpheos9 3 года назад +1

    1:09:18 I love this interaction. It's so sharp on both sides but also very emotional