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DOLL OVER-HAUL! | The Danger Of Consumerism In The Doll Community
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- Опубликовано: 6 окт 2022
- Hey Dumpster Diverz!
Today we are discussing the dangers of rampant consumerism in the doll collecting community and the financial backlash that can come with it. Don’t worry I still make jokes and it also doubles as a haul.
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#dolls #consumerism #collection
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As someone who struggles with bipolar II disorder, I understand the problem with convincing yourself to be reasonable w money-- but also the adrenaline rush from "retail therapy" is such an easy coping method instead of having to address any actual problems
I'm right there with ya. I also have the same problem with money and I'm bipolar.
Totally agree with u. Whether we have mental health disorders or PTSD or anything else, it certainly is very challenging.
bpd here, but same. the high of buying stuff crashes the second you’re out of money for things that matter like rent and food. i don’t collect dolls but i have a huuuuge problem buying clothes/shoes on impulse
Me too.
I work at a high school where I teach kids how to repair chromebooks. I first started collecting dolls because I wanted to make some entertaining and instructional videos with them (related to chromebook care). Then I wanted to make sure I had diversity = bought more dolls. Then I started re-rooting the dolls that had crappy hair. Now I’m just spending too much buying hair on Etsy. My teaching job is grueling, but every morning before going to work, I take a moment to feel the soft hair on dolls I’ve re-rooted, and maybe put them in stylish poses, and it gives me a boost to face the day. I think the price of the hobby is worth it because it helps my mental health.
I think that is amazing, and it’s so nice of you to get different diversities of dolls so the kids can relate ❤
@@lalaloopsyyay7828 I do something similar, I don't have one place where my dolls sit, they're kind of scattered all over the place, and when I have a second in between things, I'll just sit there and brush ones hair and it always makes me feel a bit better. And like the new Draculaura is new to my family and her hair is constantly getting caught in her earrings, so it seems ever night when I'm winding down to go to bed I sit there and brush her hair and get it out of her earrings.
So glad they’re bringing you joy. Get it where you can.
Have you tried making your own? I'm going to give it a try to see how it goes
(Using yarn + flat iron)
I don't watch you for getting the latest doll I watch you because you're real and raw and I like it 🕷🎃
💯 💯 💯
Same!
Yes! Exactly.
Amén to that!
💯 percent% this isn’t about having the NEWEST thing. Why not get dolls from thrift stores? Review them, custom them. Do what you want… hell, you could always ask us guys to review our shit and have it on your channel? ‘Daddy Does Doll Fan’s Dollyshit’
OMFG, I have the opposite problem! Whenever I get depressed I SELL EVERYTHING! I think it’s because my mother would always make me feel guilty every time she had to spend money on me. I know she was suffering from a scarcity mentality and just wanted me to appreciate what she worked for, but all it told me was I don’t deserve nice things. Once I got my own apartment, I had to teach myself to stop selling the things I love just because I’m sad. It was SUPER HARD after my dad died in 2016- I didn’t start collecting dolls again until 2018. On the bright side, the scarcity mentality my mother gave me, keeps me from buying dolls I don’t need.
I sold a whole storage unit full of my stuff once and it was all kinds of Ariel dolls and stuff at a garage sale and I regretted years later and my mom tried to convince me not to but yeah
It's not much of consolation, but at least you don't just throw things away or break them apart.
I have this issue too, but for me it's usually because I convince myself that the things that make me happy are dumb, or a waste of time, and look at how much money I spent on stupid things. No matter how much I'm told that things have value if I enjoy them, I always want to just stop, sell everythign related to any hobby I hve, and sit in an empty room forever. Our brains are so vicious to us.
Sorry to read this Amy. Love from 🇬🇧
My mother would throw everything away.
I lost my best friend last year and even though I told myself I was going to stop buying (used) dolls, right before he passed he gave me a bag of Goodwill dolls and I realized how important it is to have someone in your life that understands you, even if their hobbies or interests are different. Thinking about that made me miss him even more and it didn't help with my doll addiction. When the addiction became "real" was when I had to move some big totes full of dolls that I don't even have room to display, much less dress and play with.
I’m on disability but every extra penny goes to dolls. Disability is almost impossible to live on so I’m hoping eventually to be monitized so I can have more play money 😂. I can’t keep up with buying the newest dolls, so my content has to be about older dolls.
It way too much to keep up with
😯that's a huge haul.
I know where you coming from.
I used to be like "I'm sad, I need to buy a doll".
Fortunately I stopped myself and strictly only buy dolls I vibe with. Can't do big head dolls so that rules out a whole lot.
Now its "I feel sad, I'm going to the gym"
“I’m not really a Belle girl” after showing a $100+ limited edition Belle doll 😭 too relatable
My obsession was even worse... I was a certified doll kleptomaniac with a room full of thousands of stolen dolls. I also had other addictions as well. It kinda started when my collection of BOUGHT dolls was accidentally giving away ans I wanted to replace them without buying them. I ended up in jail. Over plastic dolls. I also couldn't justify paying so much for a doll. I'm in therapy now and doing much better... I always overstepped shopping boundaries anyway prior to rhe stealing. These obsessions stem from trauma and without treating the trauma they'll remain.
I LOVE dolls, I wish doll tubers would show us more videos on playing with dolls rather than constantly buying new ones...making clothes and dioramas, posing dolls etc.
PLEASE! Please please!
I need to learn to sew and craft
OMG I can relate. I've been spending way too much money on dolls. I am running out of space to keep them. They just sit there because I cannot display them :( I cannot just let them go because I spent money on them. But bringing new ones make me happy......... Yep I have a problem :/
You are so real… I also struggle with mental health and I keep buying different things. It started after my grandma died. I now have a small doll collection, which to me is embarrassing because I could have used that money for something practical. You are not alone… Thank you for sharing and hugs to you.
It helps a lot emotionally but financially? Haha it’s a conundrum
This video is amazing. I love seeing your vulnerability on this level, and how you are giving your viewers more to think about than just collecting and reviewing dolls. Many creators just show the good, upbeat moments of their lives with their collections, but don’t share their struggles or motivations behind purchasing the items that they do. I think it is a blessing that you’ve come to the realization that awareness is so important in many aspects of our lives, as it affects our actions and decisions. I don’t even collect dolls, though I am interested in the doll community, and I just love your videos because of your personality and the insightful perspectives you give. In this day and age after RUclipsrs have been around for so long, I believe that more viewers are seeking authenticity and relatability from creators, and you are right on that path! If you continue to be yourself, and show growth over time as you have, people will come, they will watch, they will fall in love with YOU (not your content alone), and they will subscribe. We are all here for you, even if we get caught up in our daily lives and don’t always have the time to comment or interact with your videos. Hang in there and know that your presence on this app means so much to so many of us. 💙
Facts, total facts.
This is a very nice and insightful comment. I do collect dolls, but I have RUclips in the background to keep me company while doing other things, so I am more interested in the personalities than the actual review.
so true! I appreciate rhe honestly
💯👏👏👏
I feel this hardcore! I've only just recently started collecting within the last two months and I've already spent hundreds of dollars. I've never done such a spending spree before in my life! It gets addicting especially as form of escapism from the things cause us stress or truma. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend!
Being a content creator, I’m sure this struggle is a lot harder on you than it is for the average collector. Things that have helped me is to question why I want something, does it make sense in the collection, and what do I like and not like about said item. It usually helps me narrow it down so I won’t have a bunch of random collectibles. Now I know it’s easy to fall for a newer doll because of the hype and FOMO of it all. Even I’ve fallen victim to it, most recently with the Barbie style vanity set. That’s why over the years I’ve developed a system where twice a year I go over and assess my collection, decide what gets to stay, what makes sense in the collection, curating it basically. It helps whatever is staying breathe and you also make money for things you actually want. An important part of being a collector is also purging. Tastes change, we evolve as collectors and our collections should reflect that as well.
I need quite the purge at the moment it’s feeling a little claustrophobic
@@JeffreySteinmanReviews there’s never an easy way to start, it can all seem daunting and overwhelming. I would recommend to start slow with those dolls that are buried in the back of your closet that you probably haven’t seen in a while. Once you get the ball rolling, you start seeing your collection breathe, it will start making you really see your collection and where you want it to be short or long term.
@@JeffreySteinmanReviews I know everyone at this point has heard the Marie Kondo spiel, but I got to say that offloading all my dolls that weren't sparking joy has brought so much relief to my life (and made a lot more space for dolls I'm actually excited about.) Getting started is the hard part, but a purge can be very freeing.
How do you do that, because I feel like it’s a betrayal to get rid of dolls 😭 (clearly very healthy) (smh)
@@dinosaur___7209 the big thing for me is trying to pass them on directly to someone- if I know that the doll is going to go to someone who'll likely appreciate it more than I have, that helps me feel better about parting with it.
Thank you for being so raw and genuine about doll collecting, it makes it more human instead of every other doll creator out there.
With the new monster high I want to buy them all but I have to realize only buy what I really want and love and not get into FOMO. I’m grateful that I am playing with their hair and posing them, taking pictures and admiring them instead of collecting and doing nothing with them like I did with the creeproductions.
This was a really powerful video. I'm currently recovering from a really bad episode of shopping addiction and hoarding, and this video really resonated with me. I totally get the feelings of embarrassment and shame, and self-loathing. Hearing you talk about these feelings helped me be more kind to myself about going through something similar. I just think you should be kinder to yourself too. You’re going through so much, and it’s understandable that you’re struggling. You’re not a bad person or a failure, and struggling with this doesn’t make you any less worthy of love and compassion. We live in a consumer society that is constantly telling us that we need to buy more and more, so don’t blame yourself for falling victim to it at a vulnerable point in your life. I understand how hard it is though, and I'm sure I talk about myself the same way sometimes. And while it is something that you can learn to control, it isn't your fault that you are more susceptible to spending issues, in the same way that any addict isn't to blame for being more susceptible to addiction. It's brain chemistry, and spending is super addictive. I hope you're getting the support you need, and if you can, joining a support group or talking to a counselor can be invaluable. And if it helps, I once blew all my money on Sims 4 expansion packs, which aren't even real, lol. I don’t even play that game anymore. You are not alone.
Also, if you want to whittle down your collection and you feel comfortable, I think that would make for some really great content. That way, you are both able to make content that doesn't require you to buy more dolls, and you're able to free up space. No pressure, of course! It was just something I was thinking about as I watched :) No matter what content you make, I'll be looking forward to it!
I also fell into the PayPal pay in 4 rabbit hole. I literally buy something every other day. I told my mom I think I may need help because it is out of control. I dont even have a place to store all the dolls so they are in boxes!!!
You are right! I gave up trying to get everything in my Ever After High era (don't get me started on that). I kinda learned my lesson, and now I let the dolls simmer in my save-for-later portion of the shopping cart for a month before I consider buying them. If, after a month, I'm not obsessed with it, I just do not buy it. By "It," I mean one at a time, for entire series, I only allow myself to buy my favorite one. Also, I don't have space... so I have constantly and carefully pruned my collection. I have two people I can donate my dolls, and I know they will be enjoyed. In my country, there's not a good secondary market for dolls, so that is the only choice. I have had to make myself accountable now. I only look for doll clothes besides dolls that really steal my heart, and I try to change their looks and clean them from time to time. Not the Ever After High ones that's its own can of warms... I watch doll channels because I love dolls and live vicariously through their collections. Please take care of yourself and prioritize YOU. Don't think about the channel or us. We will still love you and watch your channel even if you just sit and change a doll's outfit and do a monthly un-haul! hell, a weekly un-haul! Sell the dolls you don't love and tell us about that! Do some customizing, Take the duplicates, and return them. Rearrange your collection. I don't know... whatever allows you to take care of yourself. Make room for you. Just do. We care about you! Please take care of yourself. Please also be kind to yourself. Try to go to a support group... I prefer to talk to a psychologist. You are not alone in this. I applaud your honesty. Thank you for making this video. From Colombia, I wish you the best!
Jeffrey, thanks for being unapologetically real with your videos. It's so so refreshing and validating. I lost my mom this year and started doll collecting just a little over a month ago and let's say the overconsumption is very very real for me, but they spark joy and bring me comfort. I'm admitting now that I definitely need to sign up for my university's counseling to process everything that's happened because buying and even just scouring for these dolls on ebay have become addicting and I haven't stopped even when I went past a specific budget...
Needless to say I'm glad you've opened up the conversation about overconsumerism in the doll collecting hobby and your personal experiences with it because I'm facing similar issues.
With all that being said, may your friend rest peacefully in eternity, same with my mom. 💖
I feel lucky I’m not into Monster High, I agree with you about the false scarcity of dolls and I feel MH is the most impacted by this the most at the moment. I would like some more RH dolls but only specific ones, like I want Mara Pinkette but I don’t care about her band mates though I feel like they should be collected together. The RH limited edition dolls are hideous.
I have a habit of over spending on things like clothes and art, and lately spent quite a bit on dolls. I am trying really hard to only stick with things that I really like. I want that 1967 Francie you have behind you, I could have spent money I didn’t have a bought her at the time but I decided to wait until I had been paid but by then she had sold out. I was sad but I had to remind myself that there is always another doll.
I'm like you, I only want certain RH dolls, I'm very picky about which ones I buy. I'm also not into MH, per-say, (don't own any as of yet) but do want to get a cheap pre owned lot of older dolls on ebay to practice customizing on, if I ruin them no biggie.😂
Yes, there’s always another doll. I collect the 16 inch fashion dolls that were popular before the BJD trend existed; they’re very popular on resale sites and I lose like 50 auctions before winning one. ‘There’s always another doll’ prevents me from getting into bidding wars and spending too much.
I was feeling blue because branded outfits for these dolls are going for almost the price of the doll itself, but then I ended up winning a couple of branded outfits (a madam Alexander Alex, and a Tyler Wentworth) for less than $20 each, so it ended up being a good day haha.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. I struggled with alcoholism and was really bad for 2 years when life gave me some curve balls. Thankfully I discovered doll collecting and it allowed me to deal with my unhappiness in a way that won't kill me. What I used to spend on alcohol and nicotine I now spend on my collection. I don't give into fomo and I'm not a completionist but it's very hard to be patient to get all the ones I want sometimes and stick to my budget. Love your videos!
Oh, thank you so, so much for talking about this! I'm not a collecter, but since watching doll collecters a year ago, I went a bit nuts and could have used the money for dental work instead.
Please keep talking about this! Don't quit! It's SO important on so many levels. I love you for this.
Thank you
Thank you for bringing up the subject of buying dolls when there's no budget for them. I know social media isn't helping at all when you see posts about others getting dolls you were sort of considering - makes you want the doll so much more! You have a great collection yourself. You unboxed them, reviewed them and displayed them. Now sell the ones you don't love! Make room for other dolls and help your bank account out. :-)
9:32, That part tho!!!! So many of these influencers are fake af in order to stay in PR.. their “negative” opinions are “idk, I think it hair is out of place.the rooting is bad, but don’t worry this is just my doll.”
Definitely understand retail therapy and buying out of fear of missing out. 😓😩
OMG! This video was frickin awesome! I can so totally relate to your frenzy of doll buying! Right now I've gone crazy buying 80's and 90s Barbies because today's Barbies are such junk. But, where am I going to display all these dolls? Ack! Thanks for keeping it real. ❤️
I’m glad you’re talking about this. I’m a huge fan of Hercules and desperately wanted the platinum set D23 released. I never buy from scalpers but I was willing to pay $710 ~ $950 just for me to put it in a shelf and never touch it. Someday I’ll have it, but with the economy rising I’ll wait. It’s honestly hard trying to be responsible yet wanting something so bad you’ll do anything to get it.
I have collected Integrity Toys dolls for YEARS which are SUPER expensive!! Like $175-$225 per doll on average. Plus the shipping is outrageous too! There are times when I struggle to pay my credit card bills or wish I could travel, or go to Disneyland and I can’t afford too. When this happens I’ll go to my doll storage room and look at the STACKS of dolls still in their original shipper boxes and remind myself that this is WHY!! At times I’m stressed and missing out on ACTUAL life experiences, because I’ve bought DOLLS!!! Because these dolls are limited edition I get FOMO and order them, but then months latter when I get a invoice for HUNDREDS of dollars when they’re ready to ship, I’m like, what was I thinking??!! I’m always excited when they first arrive, but then they just get added to the stacks with all the others. I don’t even have them displayed and I buy more every year!! I have listed the occasional doll on eBay, but their listing fees are outrageous and you have to list things high if your going to at least break even. I sometimes ask myself, what are you doing?? Spending THOUSANDS of dollars on something that sits in box?! I also sometimes think if I had a magic wand and could have back all the money I’ve spent over the years and have zero credit card debt and less stress I’d do it! I wasn’t allowed to play with dolls growing up so I feel like I’m sometimes over compensating for my childhood, but then I think are they really bringing you THAT much joy?? I enjoy collecting but I think it’s maybe gotten out of hand and I may need to be more selective about my purchases, and possibly even sell off some of my ever growing collection. Thank you for sharing your honest feelings about your collecting habits.
Fomo is so hard sometimes. I managed to have it under control for years, because I had no money left every month, we grew up poor so my parents didn't buy many things outside of basics. They still got me dolls every christmas and birthdays, which Im grateful for. Now that Im an adult and have a full time job, I can buy dolls now and then, but I do feel very guilty sometimes, because I have to continue paying off my credit cards and probably should use the money I spend on dolls to pay those off faster, some months I have to pay my psychologist and psychiatrist appointments from the same paycheck, and I always have to think about any possible emergency (for example, if something happens to my cats, vet bills are paid out of pocket, or if my car fails, there is no public transportation to or from my job). The dolls do make me happy, and I love fashion and have so many plans, but I even feel like a fake collector as I dont post online and even feel fomo about that.
Also, I am very sorry for your loss. Do what helps you cope, I will not judge. Your videos are a breath of fresh hair, because you seem very genuine, and sincere, and I appreciate it.
You are definitely not a "fake" collector if you don't have an online presence. I don't either. Sometimes I would like to, but I think your collection is for you, and if you feel like sharing and have time, then that's your choice.
Fake collector doesn't exist. Collecting is just collecting, big or small, slow or fast. Mostly having dolls is about enjoying them. Not about what you buy or don't buy
Collecting is about collecting, not about being online or not.
Something that helps me is keeping a spreadsheet of the dolls I want. That way I can better stick to only getting the dolls that I really want. I've been tempted and strayed in the past but since I am so meticulous with my spreadsheet it actually made me feel bad rather than happy about getting something. So that's something that has helped me from overspending. I've also had to come to terms with the fact that I won't own any of the Mattel creations dolls or anything that sells out immediately. I tried to get the reel drama ones and they also left my cart within 2 minutes so I'm giving up on them. It's hard but it's worth my mental health to not even worry about those dolls. I don't watch anything about them anymore and pretend they don't exist (trying for the reel drama dolls and failing was my final straw).
All that being said, you are going through a difficult time and coping in the way that makes sense to you. It may not be healthy just as many coping mechanisms aren't when you're feeling so much grief. I would agree that seeing a professional is a good idea, but I also know that that can be very expensive as well and it's not as fun as our other coping mechanisms (let's be honest, I'd rather spend money on dolls than on therapy even if therapy would be the better option). I would suggest looking into mental health research to see if there are any studies around you, there is a large range on what they may be investigating and often times you wouldn't need to pay for services (and sometimes they'll pay you). If you have any questions about mental health services or studies, feel free to reach out to me, that's literally my day job.
Sending much love as you navigate this difficult time.
I love this video because I feel the same than you. I think it is good to have this videos that make us rethink our spending habits and to have a conversations with ourselves as to whether we are collectors or hoarders/addicts? This video almost felt like a group therapy. Thank you :)
The FOMO is real especially where I live many dolls don't even make it to Australia and the shipping from the US Ebay to Australia is bloody insane.
This video was really refreshing. Doll collecting seems so competitive but it should really be about enjoying yourself. Sending much love to you.
Sorry about your loss. 😢
I usually don’t comment on videos but this one really resonated with me. I’m a young mom (turned 20 this year) and I have been struggling with depression for years now, I love my little girl now but it’s still a big struggle mentally. I just realized recently that I’ve been coping with my depression by shopping for dolls specifically and paying these crazy prices when I ultimately can’t afford it. I am nowhere close to feeling what you are and I’m sorry for the loss of your best friend but this video was comforting. It reminds me I’m not the only one who struggles and it’s ok to say no to a doll. I should put that money into saving for her and other life necessities. Regardless, this was an great video and a good wake-up call. Thank you!
It’s a tough balancing act that takes a lot of awareness and active thought. I have to continuously remind myself that I don’t need this or have I paid other bills first? Like I never have a savings.
I honestly think that this is my favorite video from any doll content RUclipsr ever. thank you for posting this, literally everything you have said/done in this video I have done myself, and honestly hearing someone else voice their struggles with one of their all time passions is such a relief to me that I honestly started crying. I love how much my dolls have helped me through the years, and how much joy that they have brought me, but honestly I wonder if the damage that happens financially/ using dolls to avoid my problems/ needing to buy a doll on eBay because I just need something to look forward to, does the positives actually out way the negatives?!? These conversations are soooo important and I really wish that more doll content creators talked about this stuff instead of 10,000 unboxing videos. Your my favorite doll content creator for a reason, and I love how venerable and honest you are. It’s incredibly refreshing and needed. 💖
Thank you for this! This has helped me. This year has been awful. Dealing with death of parents, relatives, work stress and so forth. I appreciate seeing this and how you are coping. Thank you for being honest. I must say, I did take your homework to heart. I started to go through my collection to find things that have been played with or etc. to sell or send to my doll friends.
Oh how i wish i could give you a hug, chill and just talk about your dolls and just enjoy the company. I wish you all the best and hope you can get through the mourning
Thank you so much it’s been a journey
thank you for this and for opening up. sorry for your loss. :( i am dealing with some tough issues too and had to hold off this month because i was on the brink of overspending. which means i still bought a couple of dolls but at least stayed away from two collector ones that were on sale. probably i will regret it in a few months time :D
I have recently tried to reign in my collecting due to financial issues (as in you need to fix the flood in your basement so STOP collecting every new things that comes out). I do collect dolls because they bring me joy and that has helped me through a very difficult few years. But I did have to force myself to become way more selective to be more financially responsible. It has been difficult resisting. When I think I am about to breakdown and buy something I feel I shouldn’t, I got to my doll shelves and rearrange or redress or restyle something I already have in my collection. It is kind of helping. Sorry for your loss and wishing you well.
Okay but blacking out and buying so many dolls, that’s the perfect description. I’ve had some really bad shit happen to me, and it’s so easy to just buy buy buy spend spend spend. It feels so good. Especially with all the new releases, all the stuff I see on social media, and constant advertisements. It’s become an addiction. If something bad happens, I’ll buy a doll. If something good happens, buy a doll. Feeling sad, buy a doll. Feeling happy, buy a doll. It’s an awful thing and I’ve really had to cut myself off. Please just know that you are not alone. Thank you for making this video, so many people need to see this.
Thank you for this
I'm sorry that you're still grieving over Norb. I hope you go through the grievance process, for a lack of a better word, "smoothly".
Hand-in homework: I watch whatever videos you make because all of your videos are original ideas. Other homework...everything you said in this video was the same exact same thoughts I had. I was even having images of a fire melting all my dolls. I feel like a drug addict because I spent $730 on Barbie extra, color reveal, made-to-move within the past 30 days plus another $200 on the Barbie Dreamhouse.
Rarely make comments on anything. Love you Jeffrey. -Chris 💛✌
Love how honest you are. We all go crazy buying too many dolls. Time to reel it in a little for me. We all can't be on the PR list like some people.
I went to Target and Walmart recently to find the Reel Drama dolls and of course they weren't there. While I was disappointed that they weren't there, I looked at the Rainbow High dolls and came soooo close to getting one just because I was disappointed I didn't find the MH dolls. I stood there for a good like 7 minutes contemplating if I really wanted to get this RH doll, I'm really glad I didn't. I knew I wanted to get her just "solve" my need for a new doll and for the price...yeah no. 😕
I hope you feel better and find a good comfort 💜
Lol being a collector is just insanity. We’re literally just organized hoarders with a theme. I don’t even have a JOB and I’m still buying bratz shit. Like this week I bought a bratz wristwatch?? I don’t even wear watches. I get so depressed to the point where I don’t even want to touch or dress up my dolls but lately I’ve been trying to do it more.
This is one thing that's driving me crazy! Why aren't fashion packs a thing anymore? I like dressing my dolls but I can't because there's no clothes to buy for them! In order to get clothes, I have to buy a whole nother doll that has just a slightly different shade of eyeshadow than the one I already have. Why? What's the point? I hate this. It's so much money and so much space in my house. I just want clothes for my favourite dolls, man.
I missed your videos! I discovered your channel a couple months back and binge watched everything. This topic is so relatable to me, lately all I’ve been feeling in terms of doll collecting is fomo, shame from overbuying and anxiety, which is freaking stupid and definitely isn’t something I expect from a hobby. Also, the dolls are just laying around in boxes for MONTHS, because, you know, life. I’ve been waiting for the MH reboot for 5 years, got six of them a week ago and haven’t unboxed a single one yet. I still have boxed IT dolls from the LAST year, not to mention all the Barbies. And even after all this I was devastated that I didn’t get a new repro Barbie advent calendar for a whopping $160. Like, what do you need it for? To keep it laying around in a box for another half a year? RN I’m patting myself on the back for not buying any dolls during the ongoing Target sale (but tbh it’s mostly because I don’t really collect RH or LOL xD).
PS: I’m sorry for your loss. During the last several years I lost my mom and gran, a couple years apart, both in October, so it’s not just a spooky season for me, but unfortunately a truly dark month. I know the feeling of trying to fill the void with random things, bringing you immediate but brief gratification. It’ll get better, I promise.
I feel ya so hard, dude!! PayPal allowing for 4 payments has caused me to buy way more than I used to. The other one I use is Affirm because that is the one I can use on Mattel Creations. (CRAZY!!) With that said, I love seeing older dolls unboxed. So if you want to make videos unboxing or sharing all the dolls you just got I'm down to watch every single one of them. :) Also, buy what you want to buy or not. But don't think you have to keep up with the Joneses for your channel because that is crazy. Get the things you want and share them. Your anti-haul videos are some of my favorites.
Thank you for your honesty. There is such a dark side to this hobby. I watch you because you talk about real issues and I don’t give a fuck how you unbox the dolls. Commentary, critique, discussion of dolls is what I love about your channel.
Retail therapy can be a real issue, when my grandfather died earlier this year I came very close to making large purchases I couldn’t really afford. I understand how having a fun thing coming in the mail can be a real pick me up. I hope you don’t feel pressured to get any dolls just for the channel. There are a ton of releases these days and reviewing them all isn’t really possible.
Such a relatable video! I’ve had to cut down and sell some dolls,for financial reasons but then I find myself buying more than I sold, I have some that are split payments so it’s handy, but i know I shouldn’t buy more but It’s like I can’t stop, my heart starts Racing and my
Anxiety sets in when I think about it, I totally feel you xo
Thank you
Thank you for this video. I've been experiencing fomo for the first time as a collector now. It started with the Disney Limited edition Ariel and has continued with the Barbie Movie dolls and merch. I need to stop this early. Also, my doll collecting started heavily after my best friend/boyfriend died. I didn't connect these things before but yeah buying dolls is totally my coping mechanism. Oh dear...
Ok I do touch and hold and style my dolls here's a trick rotate them, put some out for display and a week later they go back in a box and put others out, stop in front of them and admire them once a day. If any have shiny clothes when you turn on a light look at the glimmer. It's just so awesome to own them and love them. I but used and never full price. Remember you can always sell too. This can also be a bit of OCD. I know I deal with it too.
Thank you
I feel all of f this, I am in an okay place financially but I do deal with my traumas by buying dolls and it helps with my depression. But thinking about getting rid of dolls gives me anxiety as well and I worry about what if something happens to them. I also get overwhelmed by the number of dolls that are coming out and the urge to buy all of them. Sorry for your loss I had a dear friend pass away from alcoholism and it was tough. Sending you hugs
Thank you so much
I’m very sorry for the loss of your friend been wanting to say that for awhile in more full. It’s hard. Ive dealt with it too many times the worst was one of my closest friends unlivingening I threw myself into what I was into at the time. We gotta do what we need to just not go crazy.
As for dolls I guess yea it gets nuts but I kinda stick to basically the one thing occasionally getting something of something I do not and cannot get more then I can cause I’ve always been responsibilities first but still it’s a lot I could do a lot more if I didn’t but same time it brought me back from a unshakable depression where nothing else worked
Honestly, my boyfriend and my family reel me in a lot. Because I live with my parents (financial reasons), and have limited space, I really have to think about what I buy, so I only buy what I really love. I mean, I love RH, but it’s a lot and I decided from the start that I would just get the ones I really, really liked, which is usually one character per series or set IF I like the series (I don't have any from series 1 or two, for example, because none spoke to me), except for the Rainbow Divas and Royal Three, which are both complete. My parents aren’t the kind of people who will let me display dolls outside my room, and between that and their (and my BF’s) sometimes annoying comments about how I spend my money (like telling me something is stupid and I don’t need it) and how much room is a mess, I’ve managed to curb my collecting habits. Their comments give me more anxiety than FOMO.
What also helps me personally is that my niche is character dolls. I’m a fandom fangirl and love having merch from properties I enjoy, especially my favourite characters. So I try to focus on my faves. Like, nearly all my Encanto stuff is Isabela because she’s my favourite. But because I’m an overly-attached person who continues to like things years after they’re over, I sometimes find myself spending stupid money on old merchandise (like, Titanic movie stuff is EXPENSIVE sometimes).
My biggest expensive though, even more than old Titanic stuff, is doll CLOTHES. Because I love dressing up and playing with my dolls, they all have so many clothes because I need options and I’m PICKY. Certain characters can only wear certain colours or patterns, and some only fit specific types of clothing. I nearly spend almost $300 on AG clothes recently and only didn’t because my BF reminded me that I’m supposed to be saving for vacation.
My bff died in March. I feel you. I especially love your vulnerability and compassion for others ❤awesome video ❤
I’m sorry it’s hard
Love your nails!
I know that feeling of 5 minute pleasure of a doll unboxing and than putting her on the sheft to collect dust. But sometimes I take tham, look at them, sometimes redress (especially IT) and it also brings so much fun and love for the collection.
I hope you’re feeling better now. This is the first video I’ve seen of yours and I relate so hard. I don’t even collect fashion dolls. I have bipolar and adhd and the overspending is *real*. I mainly hyper fixate on ball jointed dolls, plushies (specifically rilakkuma from japan) and art supplies. I’ve gotten into serious social and financial trouble because of my overspending. Having a therapist and psychiatrist help but the hyper fixations and hypo manic energy is still there. The spending feels good until after you unbox the items and then you feel really guilty.
I can only imagine with BJD’s! I’m just glad you realize you aren’t alone out there.
Thank you for this video! As a beginner collector I think about this a lot. There are so many dolls I can buy cause I've got such a small collection as of yet, and it's hard to decide which dolls I REALLY want and which dolls just spark that initial urge to buy. I don't like overconsuming in general so I don't want to buy too many, but at the same time there are so many amazing dolls right now! Ugh!
Oh, and another thing, because of the internet you can basically buy (and know about) any doll that's out there. So the feeling of FOMO is a lot stronger than when I used to only know 1 toy store in town, lol.
I understand. I lost someone I love very much. You can't have what you really want, your loved one back. Buying dolls gives you the temporary relief of feeling like you CAN get what you want. They are so pretty and cheerful, so comforting.but , sweet though they are, they can never replace the real love you lost. They are easy to fall in love with and my heart CRAVES that enchantment to distract me from my pain. I was genuinely heartbroken when I thought I would never have a Poppy Rowan in the butterfly dress. I DO have one now but I paid an insane price for her. Still, there are far worse addictions one could turn to. Don't be too hard on yourself. I am so sorry for your loss.
It’s been rough but I’m accepting more and more.
I just stumbled across You're RUclips station. I do like how you're real. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
When you are ready to pick up the pieces and put yourself back together, You have learned a new way to live. Try not to be so hard on yourself because losing somebody you love is hard. ❤️
Love how raw and real you are here. It's hard to even begin the process of looking inward and having the discussion you had in this video
sobbing at the close up of the trixie doll deep inhaling the other doll's hair,,, its so funny
As someone else who struggles immensely with impulse control regarding money, particularly in stressful situations, this truly speaks to me. Sending you all the best and hope you're managing okay.
OMG the struggle is real! I ask myself this over and over again, why do I feel the need to buy these dolls when I know they will sit on a shelf. Why can't I just enjoy watching videos and looking at all the pretty photos (which in some cases the dolls look waaaay better in photos and videos than anything I can do with them in person).
The other issue for me is that I don't like having a lot of stuff either, so I struggle with not keeping things because I get overwhelmed and want it all gone. Either due to guilt for spending the money in the first place that is staring me in the face taunting me, or lack or room, or just the fact I don't like clutter and I can't display them in a way that looks appealing to me.
The scarcity thing also pisses me off and makes me not want to support it, but lets be real, most of us are weeeeeak. Don't even get me started on scalpers. With the new tax laws that may cool their heels, who knows. Quality, I agree 10000% there are so many dolls that I love the look of and the fabrics etc are crap. I don't get it.
I think about all the money that I could have if didn't have this addiction. I have sold so many dolls and other things I have collected over the years due to my own crazy head and lost so much money on them, but once I want them gone I want them gone and I feel a huge weight lifted and I am good for a while then boom, I do it all over again smh
I am so sorry for your loss, and yeah depression and feeling and all sorts of stuff can make us make really poor decisions and when you are a collector it is amplified.
Yeah it can all be a lot to handle and snowball quickly
Surprisingly, I’ve gotten to the point when I go to the store I’m able to leave without anything if there’s nothing that “sparks joy”. It’s the online shopping that gets me lol but I’ve mostly managed to get to a point where its not out of control. I mean it was for a while and I’m still trying to recover financially. So I don’t really have much choice, so I feel you overall.
I just went to both Wallymart and Target and left empty handed because I do the same as you, if the doll doesn't give me a huge smile and I find some pure joy in him/her forget it I pass on them. Its saved me tons of money and I honestly have no issue with passing on dolls. Now AMAZON on the other hand.....I just cleared out my whole wishlist yesterday by really soul searching and deciding if I reallllllllllly needed the dolls that were on that list. 99% of my list was deleted, I only bought one Ash from Rainbow High as I adore him and wanted an extra to customize. 👍🏻 there is only one other doll on that list now, after I purchase her I'm going on a new doll hiatus, I will be getting some previously owned dolls as I want to keep messing with customizing.
A 22 minute video? Perfect while I hungover eat everything in the kitchen
This is great, thank you for being so open with us, I had to subscribe! It's a conversation I was even afraid having alone, but it's good to know that others are going through it! One thing I've done that's helped me immensely is really considering if I like her. 9 times out of 10 you'd know if a doll is worth it, I made it a rule that I won't pay for retail price unless I genuinely want the doll, otherwise, I'm buying on clearance. MGA has been price gouging a lot and the details are great, but I don't even consider them playline half of the time, especially for RH. I have been really excited for MH and some Barbies recently, yes their quality isn't MGA standards, but they have been solid, it reminds me of back in the day, the familiarity is more valued to me than excess details in some cases. I miss when dolls had character and personality, relating to characters and just feeling like I'm with a friend rather than just a doll. One thing we used to do was actually playing with them and I find that cleaning them up after unboxing and restyling them has really helped me connect with some dolls that I wouldn't have otherwise connected with. It's gonna be a struggle, but not having the idea of collecting them all has really helped me. I think it's healthy to sell dolls that don't speak to you, even if you may miss them down the line, at that point, buying dolls on clearance or looking for deals, you'd make your own time for buying more expensive dolls. They'll always be around, but it's our own value we have to keep in mind.
Firstly, my heart goes out to you & your friend. I can only imagine how you feel. That you're able to take a step back & reassess is incredible. I hope you don't judge yourself harshly. Grief is complicated & no1 can cope the "right" way 100% of the time.
Secondly, for any1 who may need it, here's a few techniques that've helped me reign in my spending:
1) Personalize
Only buy dolls you want to alter. Doesn't need to be a major change, it could just be a different hairstyle, extra accessories, swapping outfit pieces, etc. Anything that makes the doll uniquely yours. Try framing it as " if it's already perfect as is, just looking at photos is good enough" vs "if I could change just this 1 aspect, then it'd be perfect for me". This way you create a deeper connection w/ the personalized doll, & can use the dolls you didn't buy as inspo for your customs!
2) Pros & cons
Break down the doll's features from head to toe, & tally the things you like about it vs the things you don't. The criteria can be as simple or as detailed as you want, from the faceup to the packaging.
3) Play
"Play" can mean whatever you want: restyling, photography, set building, storytelling, anything! It doesn't necessarily mean unboxing your dolls or even touching them. Use them as inspo for something else, like a drawing, a playlist, or your own outfit! The goal is just to engage with your collection beyond displaying it.
I tend to go thru these in stages, but you can always switch it up whenever! The point's just to make yourself slow down long enough to really think about WHY you want the doll.
So glad to see everyone reaching out! You deserve the love my friend! Dealing with all this is just too much... So who cares! MORE DOLLS 😅 love!!
First, I am so, so sorry for your loss. You are allowed to grieve and process and the big thing is that you recognize what triggered your overspend.
This is a conversation that needs to happen in the doll community and I appreciate your honesty and being vulnerable. This is why I do not ALLOW myself to collect these types of dolls - because I know myself and I know I would always be hunting for the next one as soon as I find one. I thought Rainbow High was a super cute concept though, so I bought Daphne Minton for my niece last Christmas - that allowed me to indulge in the acquisition, not end up with a dust collector, and spoil my niece. (I know she likes LOL OMG the best, but I literally did not know which ones she has or doesn’t have yet. She didn’t have any Rainbow High, so I knew she wouldn’t already have our Gucci-wearing mint queen.
I love watching your content for the nostalgia factor, and that satiates the itch for me. As a collector, I’m into the quality over the quantity now. I would rather buy one one-of-a-kind doll over a bunch of Mattel/Hasbro/MGA/Jakks Pacific dolls for the same price.
Yeah, my Cabbage Patch soft sculptures aren’t meant to be fashion dolls, but I sure as hell treat them as fashion dolls. I’m always looking for baby Jordan sneakers on clearance or whatever.
About 10 years ago, I asked my daughter to make a list of items she wanted for Christmas. I looked at the list and I see a lot of Barbie dolls, all the same Barbie in different outfits. That is when i transitioned out of Barbie and other brands to American Girl. At the time the Truly Me doll line all had the same outfit, called a Meet Outfit, and they sold outfits for the doll separate. They even sold a nice holiday dress. It encouraged have one or two dolls. A few years ago, they got rid of selling the holiday dress and started auctioning off a doll in a holiday dress, after 2 years of that, American Girl started selling a doll in a holiday dress, that sells for $200+, which is more than just the holiday dress they used to sell. American Girl has slowly been moving more toward the Mattel Barbie business model of selling dolls. All the toy companies have stated they are for protecting the environment, so wouldn't it be better to just sell outfits over a ton of dolls? How much money are the companies making on the sale of a doll versus the sale of just an outfit?
the market is getting too much dolls, people will get bored or too much filled with dolls they'll want to stop. This happened with vintage videogames, it went high up when the pandemic started, but now everyone has tons of games and old consoles getting dust on the shelves.
Particularly I stop buying dolls a long time ago, and If I like something I just watch a review or something and that's enough for me. Honestly a poster do the same as a doll, is basically something to look at, but posters take less space and are cheaper to get
How lucky you are to have a passion this strong. Some people are not passionate about anything. Enjoy it !
Haha thanks
My wife lost her mom to cancer and they were best friends. But to deal with the grieving she wanted to complete her mom’s Gone with the Wind Scarlett collection. But she bought one of the Franklin Mint vinyl Scarlett doll by accident supposed to be just the porcelain. But she loved it so much and said that her mom would have loved it too. So she bought all of them that were available . Then she found out about the separate fashion packs, and got all of them. Then wanted to have every outfit in the movie to each have a doll. And in between getting dolls she got complete collections of the plates and music boxes too. So now she has like thirty 17” Scarlett dolls 100 plates and music boxes. During her grieving period ( about two years) she spent over 20,000 on dolls. It’s a process and it won’t last forever.
This is exactly why I'm trying so hard to just stay an out of box collector.. I really don't enjoy them the same in the box and I really don't want to be someone that needs two of everything.
I appreciate your honesty and I hope your are ok after your friend's passing. As someone who is much older than you I have always been a collector of action figures since I was a teen. I collected them because they brought me joy and social media didn't exist when I was a collector. I think social media feeds into that consumerism, making a false promise that you can do something you love and get paid for it when that is not always the case. It is very brave being so candid and I wish those who are the influencers that do get these dolls for free can be as honest as you.
Thank you for being honest about haunt couture Cleo. I’m on doll Reddit and I see people being incredibly vicious to anyone who admits to buying from a scalper. Yes, it’s ridiculous to buy a doll for three times the price when she’s coming out in a month. But some dolls sold out immediately and what. We’re just NEVER gonna own one because you’re shouting about morality at me? Yeah no. If I want a doll I missed out on I’ll procure her however I want because it’s MY doll collection. And yeah, my Integrity girls, I have 4, I put them on their stands and never touch them again because they’re so delicate lol. I have 1000$$ BJDs that just live in their doll boxes because I don’t have space for them currently. So I don’t really get to enjoy them….but also I have a toddler lol. So as long as you’re not THAT bad I think you’re ok 😂😂😂
Speaking about scumbag scalpers. I just saw in ebay some douche who's got 7 Benito Santos X Barbie Dia de muertos dolls for sale. At nearly $900 each. There's a slight discount if you buy more than one.
I hope you feel better soon dear. Time heals all wounds and there's a random stranger wishing you the best. 💜
This is a real talk every collector must hear 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🤔
I buy when it is my birthday or Christmas or when the price is really low. Sometimes you have to do a no buy, I have enough.
So sorry for your loss. You will figure it out when you are ready to. An idea,what about instead of buying new dolls you go through the ones you have and clean them up and make new displays for them. Definitely be cheaper. Redesigning your doll room would be busy down time away from the computer.
I totally agree with you ❤ ty for sharing I love your videos 💓 also please be safe, you are an amazing person 🤗 it’s okay to feel how you feel…it’s part of the process of letting go. When I lost two kids, it took years to get over but I’m seeing a psychologist so I feel better about myself. Life is hard but we are only coping.
Like your advice ❤️❤️❤️ I needed to hear that. I have 140 plus mass market cabbage patch kids (plastic headed ones) with all original papers ect. But they are boxed away. Only looked at a few times. And now I've started collecting the soft sculpture ones, those cost 200 a piece. I need to completely set myself free from allowing them to be my security blanket....I just can't help it. They ease my ptsd ect.
It’s hard to let go
Thank you for continuing to make videos. I've always loved that you are so self reflective about the doll collecting hobby.
I think it is important to have videos to counter the constant flow of videos of "get this one and this one".
Cool to see your channel. I like the way you explain the danger of consumerism.... it's really alarming how to budget for doll collecting and the dolls are becoming more and more expensive.
Shit gets tough and sometimes, it is ok to go off the deep end for awhile, if we're aware that we are doing it and can process it.
I am glad you made this video. It is important to talk about all these things.
I currently had a crash and all my collection is in piles, not displayed and gathering dust.
You have got this. You're owning your shit and talking about it.
Thank you.
I needed to hear this. Thank you for being real. I’m sorry you are suffering the loss of your friend. Please know that you are not alone.
Oh dang! I am so, so sorry about your loss and your pain.
LOVED this video! I had to stop buying because most are in the box still! This was REAL TALK! Keep being you, that's why I watch!
Thank you very much for this video.
I am constantly overwhelmed with the struggles of collecting, wanting to complete sets and the guilt of leaving things on shelves to be forgotten.
Thank you - I have used this video as inspiration to start looking inwards, questioning why I have a constant desire for "more more more" and actually releasing old collections. I found it very freeing (in my room and mental space) but specifically freeing from the materialism I feel I'm shackled to. Of course I will still collect and buy, but going forward with as much self reflecting into my decisions as I am able will help me in the future, so once again, thank you.
First, I am so very sorry for the loss of your best friend. I have experienced losing someone very close and I know there are truly no words that can offer comfort. It’s like drowning.
This was one of the most beautifully real videos I’ve ever seen on RUclips. I just sat here shaking my head yes the entire time. I loved seeing all the dolls and it was admittedly nice to know I’m not the only one with many “Pay-in-4” plans going all the time! I have several dolls that are dupes (one in box, one out) and it’s very expensive and gets hard to keep up sometimes. I wish I had more time (and energy) to take more photos of them and make videos. Like you said, they often come out of the box and go right on the shelf for display. Do they make me happy when I look at them? Yes! Do I sometimes wonder if I’ve lost my mind? Also yes!! I’m a completionist, too and I’m trying hard to break that habit, but it’s hard.
Thank you for being so genuine and vulnerable here. Some of these questions are hard to ask ourselves and even harder to answer. It’s nice, if nothing else, to know that we all go through the same struggles. ❤
You'll be out of it. You are brilliant and you will find a way to control the impulse spending. You can do it, I really do believe in you.
Also, a very random remark, but your voice is wonderful - listening to you talking is really soothing!
Hello - Get everything organised in a neat way. That regiments the whole hobby. It needs discipline like anything else. Confine collecting to certain parameters. Do not make the mistake of just picking up anything and everything. That give it a deeper meaning. Control. Blessings and happy collecting!
Ugh I need to organize for sure idk how many times I wanted a certain outfit or accessory for a photo shoot and didn’t want to have to look for it I’m the big box haha
This was a good subject and something all us doll collectors need to be honest with ourselves about. Appreciate you being open and vulnerable it helps a lot of people out, and I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my dad last year and that same month and following I bought so many dolls even my mom and sisters started collecting more and getting silkstone and integrity spending a ton on dolls. They’ve cooled down but since I’m the main collector my credit card is still going strong 💀
I didn't grow up playing with dolls and haven't really ever had much interest in them, so I'm really just sort of poking my head into the room here. I recently got interested in the Rainbow High dolls through customization videos, something about them just spoke to me and I was pretty surprised when I found myself actually wanting to own a few. I didn't want to just buy them and have them sit on a shelf doing nothing so I decided if I was going to have them, I had to do something creative with them, restyling them into fantasy creatures. They become an art project rather than just a dust collector. In the first month, I already had three, which is way faster than I can keep up with project-wise. So I made a rule: One doll purchase per month. It makes it so I don't spend too much, and lets me enjoy each one for a while and focus on her restyle before I bring another one home. It also feels like more of a treat because I'm having to wait longer for that reward. I'm very limited on space, so I'm being a bit picky about which dolls I want, only choosing one or maybe two from each set that comes out instead of feeling like I have to get all of them. These things have helped a lot with not feeling like I need to rush out and buy up as many as I can before they disappear off the shelves. With the price on so many of them going up, I don't stress at all over the more expensive ones, I can wait until they go on sale or ask for them as christmas or birthday gifts. All that said, seeing some of them on Amazon with super low prices (looking at you Pacific Coast High!) has been really tempting more than a few times and I've had to really hold back and say no.
All of this is truth! You crack me up. I've felt all these feelings and done almost all these things. I appreciate you saying it out loud! 🤗🤭 I dont unbox until a few days or weeks. That way I can make sure I know I want to keep the doll. I do resale mine to make room for the new dolls I want to buy. So I hardly open them anymore. After a while, I stop buying unless I know I want to open the doll. So...I just watch unboxing to get my doll fix sometimes. Because I dont have the space nor all that money. Do a doll clean out...take a few days to decide which dolls you are ok to let go and sell. It will be tough at 1st. But I just tell myself someone else in the doll community will get to enjoy it and pass it on.
I have a little advice: try to play with your dolls, like restyle or create thinks for your dolls
It helped me a lot, doing this I appreciate a new doll for a long time and it create memories with them😊
I understand about the problems of consumerism and hoarding dials. I myself was not able to have dolls as a kid so I have overcompensated as well. Probably way more than I should have. And I myself have also lost a best friend. So I understand your pain. I'm so sorry