Yeeeeeeeeees!! Exactly that is what lures me in, when underweight happens; the robot, that's what it is. I become this invincible bad-ass, that is phased by nothing and no one. I become proactive and restless and I simply get things done. This is what made the migration thing so plausible to me. And emotions during recovery are so powerful, you feel like dying in a flood every darn time...
I've become so easily moved in recovery. One of my favorite things is watching movies with very wholesome touching scenes and then just crying along with them.
@@uponthebay 🙂 Thank you, I guess it just feels like it brings emotional relief and feels good to be in touch with my emotions so much. I only try to do it when I'm alone though since if I watch something along with my mom and I wipe away a few tears during a touching scene she (meaning well) makes fun of me a little and wants to know why it touches me.
I relate to this SO much, it's like 'seeing' that person through glass. I think the numbing aspect of anorexia has always been a safety blanket because it stops other people from getting to you. You can just shrug your shoulders and convince yourself that the only person you can truly rely on is yourself, isolating further. Such a difficult cycle to break! x
I Lost totally my ability to feel anything while ill. I couldn't cry or laugh. I was just numb. Now while recovering, I cry because even a smallest thing! And, oh boy, I Love that feeling, when I laugh so much that my tummy gets a cramp. 🤣
Hi Tabitha. Yes i can totally relate. I just dont care about alot of things. Ive missed weddings, birthdays and baby showers because they would interfere with my eating disorder. And as terrible as it may sound i never even cared that i missed out on friend/families special days
Can relate to this a lot but from a trauma based response. Ed prevented feeling difficult emotions. Anger did occasionally rise up and I had irrational responses to things at times due to small triggers setting off huge emotional flashbacks which display out like autistic meltdowns. This is also because my emotions are dysregulated...... Never thought about it in terms of the migration / evolutionary response though. Does make sense though too. Whatever the reason, Eds certainly allow us to be emotionally numb at times!!!
Interesting stuff this, and I think psychiatry has got too hooked on the wrong end of chicken and egg. Very common to see people with restrictive EDs diagnosed with autism and BPD which feature some form of maladaptive emotional regulation as part of the criteria. I wonder if the same populations would be diagnosed when nutritionally rehabilitated, or whether restrictive eating becomes a form of maladaptive coping for people with these other diagnoses?
for me was different! In the deep of my anorexia I tend to exagerate everything. Everything was or so bad or so good, so intense and I was paranoic of everything.
Oddly, I have experienced the opposite: when I have been further in with my ed, my nerves are shot, and I feel every little thing intensely, and often it feels like torture. When I am healthier, I can usually brush the trivial things off more easily.
This is exectly what I am experiencing with my mom! She is crying, begging me to eat, not slepping at night because of me and am still like numb, not eating and recovering... And my dad isnt sleeping and started going crazy because of my food and me not eating... Everyday they are asking me to start to eat, to gain weight, and I can't explain why I can't gain, I can't explain them what ed is, they this I do this on purpose and they are blaming me for all this... That I am running their health because they are so worried about me... But to start recovery is soo freaking scary rn
I didn’t feel anything! No pain, no hunger, no sadness no happiness! Even when my daughter was born and needed some help I didn’t feel anything. I knew I loved her, I knew I was ment to feel scared, overwhelmed... but I didn’t FEEL it. I didn’t feel it when my children told me they loved me, they wanted to spend their entire life with me... I knew what I needed to feel but I didn’t feel it. Being a mom and sick made it so much harder I guess, but I am recovering now and I start to fee again. I was so affraid of al the negative feelings but the positive feelings are way more effective to my health than the negative emotions could ever hurt me!
hennie 444 yes! I didn’t realize how bad it was, I knew it was a bit but not as much as it actually was! Now.. I am not even fully recovered but I eat when I am hungry, when I think of food or when my stomach has the slightest option for intake and I am totally a different mother! I enjoy the sounds of my little girl and I even enjoy the noise of fighting between her three brothers!
That is so nice to hear! I'm not recovered and I know that im numb but i dont remember how it was to acually feel couse im so used to it.. But I know recovery makes your feelings come back its just hard to imagine.
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Yeeeeeeeeees!! Exactly that is what lures me in, when underweight happens; the robot, that's what it is. I become this invincible bad-ass, that is phased by nothing and no one. I become proactive and restless and I simply get things done. This is what made the migration thing so plausible to me.
And emotions during recovery are so powerful, you feel like dying in a flood every darn time...
I've become so easily moved in recovery. One of my favorite things is watching movies with very wholesome touching scenes and then just crying along with them.
This is super cute
@@uponthebay 🙂 Thank you, I guess it just feels like it brings emotional relief and feels good to be in touch with my emotions so much.
I only try to do it when I'm alone though since if I watch something along with my mom and I wipe away a few tears during a touching scene she (meaning well) makes fun of me a little and wants to know why it touches me.
I relate to this SO much, it's like 'seeing' that person through glass. I think the numbing aspect of anorexia has always been a safety blanket because it stops other people from getting to you. You can just shrug your shoulders and convince yourself that the only person you can truly rely on is yourself, isolating further. Such a difficult cycle to break! x
I Lost totally my ability to feel anything while ill. I couldn't cry or laugh. I was just numb. Now while recovering, I cry because even a smallest thing! And, oh boy, I Love that feeling, when I laugh so much that my tummy gets a cramp. 🤣
Thankyou for everything you have changed so many lives just the voice of thousands xx
When I first started recovery ... I realized why people love animals so much. it was like my heart opened and I turned into a human being again
Hi Tabitha. Yes i can totally relate. I just dont care about alot of things. Ive missed weddings, birthdays and baby showers because they would interfere with my eating disorder. And as terrible as it may sound i never even cared that i missed out on friend/families special days
I’m 0:02
Can relate to this a lot but from a trauma based response. Ed prevented feeling difficult emotions. Anger did occasionally rise up and I had irrational responses to things at times due to small triggers setting off huge emotional flashbacks which display out like autistic meltdowns. This is also because my emotions are dysregulated...... Never thought about it in terms of the migration / evolutionary response though. Does make sense though too. Whatever the reason, Eds certainly allow us to be emotionally numb at times!!!
Interesting stuff this, and I think psychiatry has got too hooked on the wrong end of chicken and egg. Very common to see people with restrictive EDs diagnosed with autism and BPD which feature some form of maladaptive emotional regulation as part of the criteria. I wonder if the same populations would be diagnosed when nutritionally rehabilitated, or whether restrictive eating becomes a form of maladaptive coping for people with these other diagnoses?
for me was different! In the deep of my anorexia I tend to exagerate everything. Everything was or so bad or so good, so intense and I was paranoic of everything.
I found that too, so much so its like my warning sign that im slipping down the rabbit hole again ❤️
Please do a video on EDs and Autism?
Oddly, I have experienced the opposite: when I have been further in with my ed, my nerves are shot, and I feel every little thing intensely, and often it feels like torture. When I am healthier, I can usually brush the trivial things off more easily.
This is exectly what I am experiencing with my mom! She is crying, begging me to eat, not slepping at night because of me and am still like numb, not eating and recovering... And my dad isnt sleeping and started going crazy because of my food and me not eating... Everyday they are asking me to start to eat, to gain weight, and I can't explain why I can't gain, I can't explain them what ed is, they this I do this on purpose and they are blaming me for all this... That I am running their health because they are so worried about me... But to start recovery is soo freaking scary rn
Agreed! I had to be focused on food and movement more than anything else
Great vid. I have observed under-emotionality in anorexia and over-emotionality on bulimia and BED. Thoughts?
I suspect the sugar rush. I experienced the same thing.
I didn’t feel anything! No pain, no hunger, no sadness no happiness! Even when my daughter was born and needed some help I didn’t feel anything. I knew I loved her, I knew I was ment to feel scared, overwhelmed... but I didn’t FEEL it. I didn’t feel it when my children told me they loved me, they wanted to spend their entire life with me... I knew what I needed to feel but I didn’t feel it. Being a mom and sick made it so much harder I guess, but I am recovering now and I start to fee again. I was so affraid of al the negative feelings but the positive feelings are way more effective to my health than the negative emotions could ever hurt me!
This made me realise how extreme the numbness actually is...
hennie 444 yes! I didn’t realize how bad it was, I knew it was a bit but not as much as it actually was! Now.. I am not even fully recovered but I eat when I am hungry, when I think of food or when my stomach has the slightest option for intake and I am totally a different mother! I enjoy the sounds of my little girl and I even enjoy the noise of fighting between her three brothers!
That is so nice to hear! I'm not recovered and I know that im numb but i dont remember how it was to acually feel couse im so used to it.. But I know recovery makes your feelings come back its just hard to imagine.
It is hard, I can imagine how hard it is! I’m not there yet but every bite will bring you closer to that!
@@brittwagemans88 hopefully🤍
I found i didnt deserve to feel anything than the usually ED misery because i wasnt appeasing the ED well enough
Hi Tabitha, I wanted to add that I feel the same emotional numbness when I restrict as when I binge, is that common as well?
Did you loose your period when you were ill and how long did it take to come back? Xx
She’s talked about this before- she had never started her period when she got her ED and she got her first period in her 30’s
is yoga and exercise like that still apart of your life? just wondering on where youre at now with that.