4 Things I Would Tell My Daughter about Men // Love isnt ENOUGH // Part 1
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- Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
- Dr. Dharius pulls back the curtain and shares with us the 4 things he would tell his daughter about men. Join My Mentoring and Coaching Program Daniels Den 👉 www.danielsden...
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Dharius Daniels is a cultural architect and trendsetter for his generation. He is the Founder and Lead Pastor of Change Church. Change Church is a vibrant ministry that impacts people of all ages, socioeconomic classes, and ethnic backgrounds.
He holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Political Science from Millsaps College in Jackson, Mississippi, a Master of Divinity degree from Princeton Theological Seminary in Princeton, New Jersey, and a Doctorate of Ministry degree from Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California.
He is married to Shameka Daniels, and they are the proud parents of two sons, Dharius Seth and Gabriel Micah Daniels. Visit Dr. Dharius on the web at www.dhariusdaniels.com.
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To anybody who's reading this, I pray that whatever is hurting you or whatever you are constantly stressing about gets better. May the dark thoughts, the overthinking, and the doubt exit your mind right now. May clarity replace confusion. May peace and calmness fill your life. Amen.💕
Thank you! I pray the same for you. 🙏🏽
Amen, God bless you genuinly
Amen! thank you 💞
This what the show should be about.this comment here.not The delusion of of having a daughter,where does that leave all daughters? Narc trait
Amen. I receive it 🙏🏽💕
“There’s a difference between someone being imperfect & unsafe.”
Love that.
*Love isn't enough
**Be financially secure
**Have clear core values and non-negotiables
**Everyone has Issues, so know the difference between Imperfect vs Unsafe issues
**Stop desecrating your Temple
***To be continued......
@ Lisa S Thank you
💯💯
This.
Thank you 😚
Thank you
Wow. Marrying out of desire, and not out of desperation.... Powerful!
Right?? That hit me in my chest!
Once a man fears God, all points listed won’t be a challenge. The fear of God is the first.
My humble opinion
Money does not solve all problems. But you need money to solve the problems money can solve. Ooooh that’s a WORD!
“There’s a difference between being imperfect and unsafe..” 10:33
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
🙌❤️
My mom told me that love is not enough. I did not listen and learned the hard way. I wish that I had listened. LOVE IS DEFINITELY NOT ENOUGH.
My parent's told me never love a man more. Because man loves themselves first. And the financial parts is also the same thing. I agree with you pastor 100 %
Wow that is a very good advice. Thx
i don't think women should allow themselves to gullible into getting talked by men into loosing their career for men and their kids, or not loving themsleves first ..cause men are not so dumb enough no matter what their reasons are..
Mine said the same. Women need to date for themselves, with ourselves in mind. This is how men think.
very sexist advice.
That’s my biggest lesson that I’ve learned in the last year. I knew the person loved me and I knew I loved him but he had $20,000+ of backed up child support, was borrowing money and not repaying, his finances were a mess and he lacked vision for his life therefore not in a place to have a vision for us. At my age, I wasn’t willing to sign up for the struggle love. Sorry, not sorry!
Takeaway
1.love is not enough in a relationship ( is love leading your behavior)
2.Financial Stability is based on the season in a person life & earning potential( character traits,responsible, work ethics, )
3.How do love an imperfect person.( must have clear core values- deal breakers)
What is four ?
If unsafe leave
funny how women claim men & women's roles are equal but a woman's financial stability isn't even considered when a man chooses her.
If love is not driving their behavior, people who love you can hurt you deeply. so true.
His issues are not her problem. Many men will dump women at the drop of a dime when she has issues.
This means a lot Pastor; coming from a young woman who did not/ does not have any guidance on men & relationships. There are a lot of us who actually enjoy being in relationships and who want to get married, but the worldly influences do not help us prepare at all. Thanks again :)
Agreed... and this hit 100% .. all so true. 🥰
Finances and Godly Love Don't mix. As a Man doing very well for himself. He's a little off. But that little has influenced alot of women now days. You can't have both. MONEY isn't enough. Love is enough bcuz that's literally what the Bible says lol.
I'd say love a hard working man. Cuz in the right situation a hard working man(Especially a brotha) gon Put on for you. Money comes money goes. But true love is Rare.
Thank you for being a father to the fatherless 🤍
I appreciate the message. I just wish men spoke similar messages en masse to young men. It’s as if women are expected to only have unprepared men to look forward to encountering. Tell us what you’re telling your sons next time.
@ Doris Woodruff- We women that choose to listen are here by choice not by force. Which means that most men would rather live a life of sin and lies because that lifestyle appeals to the immature male ego. If there were more men that wanted to hear this food for thought, we would not have such a great divide in the household.
I agree. Notice how many men speak to women about trash men and how we can and need to do better but yet I have yet to find podcasts or videos of men teaching men????like kinda weird and sad smh
@@nynyjohnson1 it's plenty it's called the manosphere we just don't listen to lying ass preachers.
@@nynyjohnson1 Men don't even listen to themselves but want women to listen to them...that's the level of moral decadence they are battling with...when there are more women in church who are more religious but more men claiming headship at home who don't know Christ...you get the gist..
the women are just as unprepared & even go into relationships saying "i am the table" while bringing nothing to the relationship, yet men shoulder all the judgment for not being a perfect 6ft tall, 7 figure making entrepreneur by age 20. modern women are delusional in their expectations.
"Love should have brought you home." 💯💯💯
Not this popping up while I’m reading this single devotional 😩 SPEAK HOLYGHOST
🤣😭😭
You’re the Spiritual Father for many of us and we so appreciate you. Thank you for sharing insight with us Pastor.
Amen 🙌🏼
What about our sons...! Our sons need the quidance the most today.. these young girls need fathers..
I agree but he is just advising us of what he would have shared with his daughter. Our young men need guidance to embrace their place and our young women need to be taught who they are, to embrace their worth and ensure they ask for what they want/need. Submission on both parties are needed to build a great relationship.
Question: If you’re going to base your love/marriage on potential, then what happens when that potential does not materialise post marriage?
Good question
I think that's the part where character is key. Because ultimately a person who demonstrates responsibility, discipline, integrity, ethics, persistence, drive to learn and improve, etc. etc., has a much higher chance of being successful at SOMETHING, than someone who doesn't have those character traits. That said, if you study entrepreneurs (for example), a large majority of them end up building businesses that they never initially intended on building. They may have had a completely different objective in life that turned into what they ended up with. The one consistent thing is their character. They applied it to what they were doing and something else panned out.
I didn't finish watching this yet when I saw your comment, so I don't know if this was mentioned, but the other thing that I notice a lot of people don't really talk about or consider is that YOU also have an impact on that person's success. In a marriage, you are both pouring into each other, and that has an impact on success potential. So, that person's character, plus their plan/vision, plus your impact (whether you are supportive or not, understanding, or not, able to prioritize the 'mission' over the temporary high of a fancy vacation, for example) all those things equate to his success potential. And that goes both ways, by the way.
Lastly, as a woman married to a man who poured into me, my husband is now embarking on a new endeavor. In my opinion, he has successful habits and characteristics, and a great vision. I've been honest with him on the things I think would work, the areas I think he should work on, and he's been eating up knowledge on his own and applying them to his work as best as he can. But ultimately, we have no idea if it will work out. What we do know is that regardless of the outcome, the journey will be a well travelled one. And in the end, we got each other's back, and we love each other. And more practically speaking, if things don't pan out the way we hope, he made smart strategic financial decisions along the way that won't leave our family struggling and destitute (that's the character piece- demonstrating responsibility and strategic thinking). We would leave the situation having not taken as many vacations as we would have otherwise, or without certain renovations to the house that we would have liked, but we would be fine otherwise. Maybe even better, since a 'leap of faith' journey actually brings you closer as a unit.
That's how I would answer the question- hopefully that helps...
Then they will blame you and make sure you are taking "accoutability" for who you "chose". Thats why you shouldnt let men (especially black men) sucker you into dating for "potential".
DOnt ever date a man with "potencial". Thats why men never shoud date a woman before he is 30. There are a lot aspects he must succeed on before that (character, maturity, finances, work, career, good good record as a human being, that others can attest to their good conduct. Ohterwise they will fail with women and became a redpill
thats why you shouldn't be a goId digger & love people for who they are & not what they provide.
Good points.. My take on finances to my 17 year old daughter. Do not sign up or take any vows going into a relationship struggling. This is the time for her to build her credit , savings etc. The man she chooses has the same discipline in place already before even asking for her hand. Love has nothing to do with it, I agree wholeheartedly. People are very different when they are struggling. Building separately before is very wise. Only when he is ready and able to lead the home . Now if something down the line happens, hurt, sick what have you, is when you can understand financial setbacks. As my husband of 20 years never needed me to build anything for him. Which is why I can respect him to full extent as well as my father.
That's lovely!
Character is everything.
I’m 24 and had my first relationship for a year . My mom and dad explained this to me , and it’s a good to know this early. Also glad to see someone voicing this in a positive way for women who haven’t had this word .
Yes! Love is not enough
A man must have money..time..
He must help you..
Love is not enough..
So true… no guidance, bad home, stepped into it (2x 😢) desperate to feel loved with a warped sense of what that was, so listen carefully and seek out professional help before the wolves get you first and you step into that toxic role again that you took on as a kid just trying to survive.
My core value to look for in my future husband: family-oriented, financial stability, stoic
The father daughter conversation we all needed
Some of these things we also need to tell our sons.
I wish someone could have been there for me and broke this down for me.... But thanks be to God I am still learning as I myself grow as a woman chasing after God!🙏🏾🙌🏾
Facts 💯
Amen sis!
Amen 🙏🏽
Yes! Love isn’t enough & nice doesn’t cut it.. Does he lead in his own life already or is he still living at home with his parents? Is he emotionally mature/strong or dysregulated? Is God first in his life or is his job/hobby more important? Obviously we women need to be looking at how we’re living, what’s most important to us, our character, behavior/actions. Both people are responsible for themselves, their personal growth and readiness of relationship/marriage ♥️
Emotion is not enough , action is ❤
Everyone is imperfect but not everyone is unsafe ❤
Any Advice to give a daughter or Son is A RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST! GOD IS LOVE!
I love this!! Ameeeen and Ameeeen 🙌🏾🙌🏾❤
The 2nd one truly resonated with me. When he mentioned that a person’s issues can rule their behavior and not their love for you, that really connected.
Are your issues or love driving your behavior.
Yes because you might love someone who isn’t good 4 u check their character morals and values
It is not enough. When you chose the wrong type of people and the wrong project your love will be drained
The first one is actually what I've learnt the hard way... And I keep telling everyone that the love my ex has for me never made the relationship work but no one understood me.. He really hurt me, disrespected me and did some really horrible things and everyone was like I should move on from what he did just because he is always around me..
I'm struggling with this now...he just asked for a space and I was so hesitant at first thinking maybe if I give him time and the space he needed he wouldn't come back to me...maybe I will lose him...but again isn't that best for me!damn if he goes then I won't chase and I won't wait on him..I am tryn to focus on my mental healthy coz he's caused lotta damage..I need to recollect my pieces and mend my heart and be happy without him........if he comes back after he is done with the space and time thing he desperately wanted then he will come only to find out that I am a different girl he will choose then whether to stay or to ask for a lil more space again coz I won't give him that precious attention I have always been givn him...LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH... YOU NEED TO BE SAFE AND COMMIT TO ME...otherwise fuckoff boy!
Ooooooo it’s number one faaa mee!! You ain’t come to play .. that set the T O N E … shut it down! Does love dictate his behavior?? How he operates thoooooo??? Sheeesh
I LOVE all that you said! Money Issues ARE one of the two main reasons for divorce. You have to make sure both people have the same viewpoints about how they handle money. The best expression about love was when you said "is live leading your behavior?" So true! Love is a verb. The Love actions have to be louder than the love words. I think this is wonderful advice for a daughter.
LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH
@56 years old This was Good for me the 2nd time around……. Thank you👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I glorify for these truth. JESUS. Bless you Pastor
I never grew up with a father... I never met him. I had no men in my life who I could trust. Men have said they loved me but their actions always have said they didn't.
Hm! Is love guiding his behavior?
A deep one indeed.
I should have been your daughter. My Dad just said you need to be married. The rest of the things can be sorted with good communication. Needless to say the issues drowned the communication.
10:41 + ‘issues that irk me or issues that put me in danger?’
WHEW
Pls tell ppl what age you were when you were broke and marrying your wife that bought her own ring and the context. This is not for mid thirties to forty year olds to be buying their own ring because Dr Daniels did it 🤷♀️.....
The last one hit home for me. I totally understand that and had to make a decision because of unsafe conditions.
Definitely realized this about anyone including men in relationships, friendships and family relationships
"There is a difference between someone being imperfect and unsafe." Love that so much PD!
I think you need to do a teaching course on the difference between imperfect people and unsafe people. Dr. Henry Cloud talks about the difference between unsafe and safe people a lot, and even wrote a book about it, but I'd really appreciate your POV on this topic PD!
I learnt my lesson the hard way...as a young woman,I fell in love with a man who we dated for two years,we had issues but solved them maturely...I cheated once and he found out,we continued dating but it was not as good as before...we broke up months later but I didn't want him to leave me reason being I loved him very much...we held on but the more we stayed,the more we felt broken...I finally decided that it was enough,I had messed up,I needed to find and do better so we broke up...Iam currently working on myself;I feel the guilt gone and me becoming better...I know and hope that am gonna be better in my next and final relationship😊...Never cheat on anyone you love y'all :)
Are you sure you loved him or his attitude toward you?
I have read cheating and I have not continued reading more.
As a single, in waiting and preparing and honoring God this was so good! Thank you! 🙏🏾
Ur right u cant live off love. Money is okay but it won't make everyone happy.
Can we please make this a sermon series? Somehow some way lol
Love is to know God. 1 John 4
Pastor Daniels!!!! You better speak these TRUTHS sir!!!
Marry out of desire not desperation ❤
This was so good! Y'all want to adopt a daughter, lol! I'm speaking this into existence now: you and Pastor Shameka have blessed me greatly and on the day God blesses me to wed my future husband, I want you two to officiate the wedding and bless the marriage!
Love is not enough! Does it control your behavior. And that part about is it unsafe or just irksome. Great nuggets.
I think these topics are relevant for sons & daughters. I can’t wait for part 2.
I was a little confused here... what is the definition of love we are talking about?? Because love is that one thing that is most written about, sung, danced to, etc... yet people remain on surface feeling... and love is a verb, it leads to actions... that is where i agreed with you when you mentioned love to be the power engine that drives the man to live and do all for betterment of himself and his lady, with a look into the future he has already built in his mind where in this lady is already part of it!!
I wholeheartedly appreciate and cherish your advice and how you spoke about the subject matter!!
Thank you so much! Looking forward to your next video!! God bless you!
Let me guess money. My momma use to say and still today money will ruin any marriage
Have clear core values and non negotiables , make the vision clear ❤
this is right on time
It is ONES ACTIONS.
Def a man graduating law school is a different breed of Broke!!.
Imperfect vs unsafe 🙌🏾
Whew! She had to get you a cell phone, but you proposed. You showed her that she wasn't wasting her time.
Sometimes you have to date earning potential , you would have to judge a tree by it's future fruits ❤
How much His love is leading his behavior.. wow
This message is loaded with wisdom especially how he's breaking down "Life Seasons."Its very beneficial and intelligent how 🤔 Pastor focused less about numerics more about our mindsets, heart sets, and integrity or the lack thereof. And the reality that "Love is not Enough." People may misunderstand what he's imploring us to actually analyze. If we solely focus just on emotions and/or a fairytale fantasy mindset without having experienced certain things that are vital to make informed decisions including wholeheartedly seeking the primary relationship with JESUS CHRIST as the Apex HE IS then all other relationships we have won't be properly balanced. 👏
PREACH!!!! 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I share everything, may God continue to bless the work of your hands for the glory of God in the mighty name of Jesus Christ! 🔥♥️🙏🏼
Thank you, Pastor Dharius! It’s this level of transparency and wisdom that us daughters need that we don’t often hear and/or receive.
THIS RIGHT HERE ✅️ 👏🏽 WAS WHAT I NEEDED AS A SINGLE. THANK YOU SO MUCH!! LOVE ISN'T ENOUGH. ❤️
Ahhh, the wisdom!!!! separating rational thoughts from emotional feelings. Oh do I have some thinking to do!!!
Yess.. just bothering vs. unsafe! That's super helpful.. that determines a lot
PD this advice goes both ways 👏 to daughters as they look for their man and it's applicable to sons too as they look for their lady💯💯💯
Thanks Pastor D. This was an on time and amazing message for the singles in waiting. 😊
Seasons of life do make a difference when it comes to love ❤️
So Powerful 👊🏾💪🏾 that's right love is not enough 🗣🗣🗣 Some people got money & still Miserable 🙏🏽🫶🏾🔥🔥 Thank you Pastor Dharius 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
There should NEVER be a time where the husband should be doing better financially, working 1 job. Meanwhile, his wife is working multiple jobs to stay afloat. That is financial abuse...but that's just my situation. Don't worry we're in litigation for divorce (he filed because I couldn't give him a baby, but really it's all because of his dad). You are totally right in saying love is not enough!!!!!
We want more on this topic please! This topic should be a series.
🌅Love lS Not in the words , True Love lS Revealed in Knowing First Ones True lD and True lD of Everyone and What lS the True Source of our Supply🙏
Thank you Pastor Darius, I had to listen to this twice. I am going to share this with my singles small group, the young adults I try to mentor, and a guidance counselor I know.
Epic transparency
This message is a blessing. Your ministry is such a blessing to so many. Bless you
You are marrying a person who they are NOW. Earning potential is a unknown. Speaking from experience, he talked a good game . Two years realized he was comfortable where he was in life, broke. All the talking he did prior to the marriage was that, just empty words.
I wish we could've taught us this when I was young 64 and still single because was taught wrong so what do I look forward to
Look forward to God's blessings sis 🙏🏽
@@deniseh6736 pray for my doubtful faith 🙏 😢
@@sheilalove8168 Praying sis...Be open and allow God to come in and flood you with His goodness. He will equip you to enjoy your latter as it will be greater than your past! 🙏🏽
Love is not enough 🔥
Thanks for saying money matters. It does!
Thank you big brother. Much appreciated.
Love is Enough pastor, because love is an action word. Not a feeling. The feeling of love is not enough but the actions that demonstrate love is enough because love is kind, patient, self controlled, keeps no records of wrongs, it is putting others needs before yours it is a lot of action.
I love how honest you are! Relationship are built on trust! Love is responsibility
You speaking SIR! because this is so true...That character tells it all
Facts thoe 💯 wish I can give my daughter the game , rather not bump heads with the child mother , but I keep my baby 🐥🍼 girl in prayer
Emotional and psychological safety is also an important determinant in addition to physical
Yes I agree love is not enough!!
I met a guy that I liked and he lied about his occupation. He later gave me this long excuse about why he lied about it. I ran!! Sorry men but your money matters. You can't tap dance around what you do and how much you make. You gotta grow up.