We released 6 Habits To Boost Your Intelligence yesterday. Have you watched it yet? If not, watch here after this video ruclips.net/video/9bsPUTdztrQ/видео.html
0:50 RESPECT YOURSELF 2:25 SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES 3:18 UNDERSTAND YOU DONT HAVE TO BE NICE ALL THE TIME 4:35 SPEAK UP 5:37 DONT OVER APOLOGISE 6:39 DISPLAY CONFIDENT BODY LANGUAGE
kindness alone won't make you gain the respect of others, it's also having presence and power, the 3 pillars of charisma, specially having power, the more valuable you're to others, the more they will respect you
1 - Respect Yourself first. 2 - Set clear boundaries. 3 - Understand that you don't have to be nice all the time. 4 - Speak Up. 5 - Don't over apologize. 6 - Display confident body language. { Thanks for likes
I always feel disrespected everyday in school. I'm always bullied and my classmates are always hiding my stuff... This afternoon I finally opened up to my mom and she really made me feel comfortable. Now I'm gonna change and show those jerks what I can do.
*5 things to quit right now:* *1. Overthinking* *2. Trying to make everyone happy* *3. Living in the past* *4. Worrying* *5. Doubting yourself…* Love from a small RUclipsr💙
I don't know why but I think it was hard to be on the number 2 I know this internet is full of disrespectfull toxic people, and they always judge everything just because of their hidden identity. People in real life are seems more nice but if I make them happy will they help me back when I was in a danger? Well I guess not but it just makes me feel better tho. I just hate the internet when they are very toxic and cannot respect others opinion.
6 Important Guidelines in Life -When you are Alone, mind your Thoughts. -When you are with Friends, mind your Tongue. -When you are Angry, mind your Temper. -When you are with a Group, mind your Behavior. -When you are in Trouble, mind your Emotion. -When God starts blessing you, mind your EGO.
I was thinking about that. For example, when you get disrespected you have to consciously make yourself aware of that in that moment, after that you can reply and defend. The problem is that you don't want to come off as aggressive. Anyone with any thoughts.
A lot of people.act 'nice' and nice is wrongly conflated with kind. People who 'act' 'nice' do it to gain ammo or leverage to demand 'returned favors' from others. Such favors are sometimes called covert contracts. Covert contracts are unkind since their.covert nature means those pulled into them are not necessarily pulled in consensually. Ironically, this invalidates the 'contract' side of it since contracts must be agreed upon. Regardless, it is a slimy thing and because of its commonness, most actual kind is not well differentiated from 'nice'. True kindness is done without any expectation of return and solely for the sake of being kind. It is much rarer than its purveyors want to believe.
Unfortunately, a lot of people take real kindness for weakness and take advantage of your kindness and don't treat you with the respect you deserve. I'm a kind person who is genuinely nice to people. But a lot of people are mean to me and that always confuses me. I have also helped a lot of people but when I asked the same people for help they didn't help me and didn't want to be my friend anymore after I helped them. That being said, kindness should never be seen as a weakness. Even though I have been bullied and taken advantage of many times in my life, I have never stopped helping people and being a kind person and that makes me feel strong.
@@chomeeghouri1306 They’re just weak and pathetic for taking someone who’s kind and never snaps as weak. Keep being nice, and I promise that one day people will want to be your friends
I am always too nice. I don’t talk much at all, I’m just there. People mistake my kindness for weakness or think I’m too “soft”, but it’s best I leave them to it. I don’t need to explain my kindness. Do I?
NEVER. main thing is you do not have to explain your kindness or your impact on anything mainly we should never brag bout ourselves. but sometimes we think we are being a savage when in reality we are just being rude. mainly you should kniw your worth it. love yourself. treat yourself. know that.
Facts you would hate to hear how badly I'm afraid of my parents on a nightly basis because my mother simply treats me like crap and has always got a negative attitude and says stuff to me in a negative way everytime I talk to her but not only that but she's an excuse maker because last night before my parents went to bed my mother comes into my room and she starts complaining and she was making dumb excuses about my favourite School Teachers and how she's told them about my behaviour and how my favourite Teachers don't like me which is not true because some of my favourite Teachers Don't even know my mother very well especially not as well as they know me and so because of that and also with the issues I had with her in the past I'm thinking of abandoning and rejecting my parents and everyone I don't get along with as soon as I straight up move out of home and so the only supportive people I will have left in my life are my favourite School Teachers, The adults I work with, My basketball Coaches and teammates and my friends but that's it everyone else I'm going to cut from my life.
Everyone wants to be loved, failing that, respected, failing that, feared, and failing that, hated. Try to remember that other people have feelings too, and hurt-people hurt people.
same but it didn’t seem like it that’s what people were actually doing I’ve changed doe I’m still the kind person I was before I’m only kind and respectful to those who are kind and respectful to me basically the golden rule in the Bible lol
It's this stupid idea that Niceness = weakness, like if your kind you suddenly become a tool to use. I like to help cause that's what friends do, I aint a maid or buttler.
You know what’s actually incredibly sad. Is that the comment section and also the video itself actually made me self realize once again; A life long issue that i have struggled with for an absurd amount of time due to past trauma. And the looming issue is that I’m a people pleaser… not an extreme case but to a point where i self neglected for so long that i almost caused myself to self destruct. Anyways i just had to get that out… Thank you and i hope y’all stay safe and maintain healthy growth. 😕
Well, you said it. That is great. I found out this about me when I was past 50. Started to change, and the whole he'll broke loose. Took some time to leave everything and started new life
As a semi retired professional people pleaser, I can relate. Thankfully, it’s now how one starts, it’s how they finish. It sounds like you know better, and when one knows better they usually do better. I sincerely hope you ARE doing better. When you treat someone like a rockstar, they treat you like a fan :-)
I finally did the “do not apologize” mindset during my hospital duty when the resident would try to pin the blame on me. I had realized that people take advantage of me because im too timid and nice. At some point in my life, I just hated everyone, I saw everyone as selfish, I tried to help everyone to the expense of my own. I was taught to be kind, but I realized that not everyone is nice. It was then that I made sure to ONLY be truly nice to those that matter. To people like me, being too nice will only ruin my mental state as I grow older, so I started to speak up and say No even if that, to me, is extremely difficult.
Love and respect hold each other up. One must have these components within to love another in the truest sense. You can't give someone what you don't have for yourself.
I work in customer service. I started saying “thanks for your patience“ instead of “sorry about the wait,”and it has made all the difference in my nervousness about wait times.
we cannot control ppl to act the same way as we want because there will some ppl who have an issue within themselves that's why they reflect it on you or other ppl, and that's their shit. Just know that it has nothing to do with you.
Bitches who cling to "respect yourself" are always the ones who do crazy shit and feel really bad about it deep inside. This quote is literally a crazy bitch invention to try to repress their conscience deep down. And their conscience is just in there, screaming "I'm a selfish jealous piece of shit hoe" You have to appease the conscience and face your inadequacies, or have someone make you face them, if you want self respect, you can't just tell yourself to feel a certain way, that's not how minds work. - Me bitch 2022
Ironically, one of my friends in 3rd grade taught me to say no to people when it made me uncomfortable so people wouldn’t take advantage of me. Even though it can still be hard sometimes, I haven’t forgotten her advice.
I was around 14 years old when I first learn that someone could taje advantage of me, and that advantage was being taken of me since childhood. To think that someone in 3rd grade is so smart is just commendable
@@Mr-BareMinimum im watching this video bc i was born with autism and was shy to do or say certain stuff bc I thought person would not like it and stuff or I wouldn't know there reason if I did that
I'm a silent viewer of your content but this time I wanna let you know that we appreciate this advice and knowledge as it helps us in our lives. Thanks Psych2Go 💙
Story time: I used to have this friend, who always wanted someone to talk to 24/7 she told me that, she said they wished she could have a friend like that. So I was like: why not be the friend *she* wants, I don't want them to feel lonely like me.. So I did try to talk to her a lot, even though I really just want alone time I still try. Until one day where I really needed alone time, I told them and my other friends that I'm going on a break for a little while and just be alone. But she said 'no' she doesn't want me to leave them alone, though I understand that she gets lonely a lot. At that time I really needed to sort out my messy thoughts, I told them that I really want and need to be alone for awhile but she still insisted. Long story short whether they liked it or not I spent a few days alone anyway. Also there were times I was extremely dry (because I didn't want to talk at all) then she ended up saying "STOP BEING DRY IT'S ANNOYING" and it just hurt me... Because it felt like I cant express my emotions with them. Then months later, we continuously kept arguing because our opinions were really different, she would sort of try to make me have the same opinions as them. So I decided to cut off connections with her. Now I don't know how they're doing or what they're doing. All I know is I've been feeling lonely these past few days and I just need someone to vent to so I ended up venting here. To those who reached the end of this comment, thanks for listening, have a nice day/night :)) Edit: hello again! it's been 3 weeks since I commented this here, all I want to say is thank you so much for your comforting words! It helped a lot, also I'll do a little life update: I've been doing really well lately! A few days after I posted this comment I joined a discord server, and through that I met so many great friends! They're all so nice and they respect me a lot. It's true that it's better to be lonely than to be in a toxic relationship, because there will always be someone-or more that will enter your life and treat you better than anyone else did! so if you're reading this right now, you can do this, ok? I know it's hard but that doesn't mean you should give up. Don't blame yourself for your past because you can't control it anymore, instead, what you should do is to use those mistakes to learn and grow and be a better person! It's hard to be mentally stable again, but trust me when I say that it's worth it because it is, it's the happiest feeling I've ever felt! So now, whoever is feeling sad or lonely, remember I'm here for you! You can do this, trust me, I'm rooting for you good luck!
It will pass. You will meet new people who will not disrespect your boundaries and will respect you. I'm glad you didn't stay in that circle because of fear of being alone ❤️
your friend is really toxic, what you did was right to leave her, i know that you will find someone who can really respect you and wanting to hear all of your emotions♡♡♡
"You can create your own happiness ", man that makes me cry. I'm 32 and I've just let myself get walked on my whole life. At least I know a bit better now.
Lucidity is what helps you stand up to stop people walking over you. This means also pure honesty and sheer awareness of how that damages you. Some truths are harsh to face and swallow, about other people and ourselves. But if you've got the courage to do it, you'll see it's much easier to make yourself respected.
Oh my god. My mind is blown. I felt like you literally know everything that's going on in my life rn. I was feeling overwhelmed recently and I was looking for a solution. Thank you so much for making me understand my feelings better. I was confused like I didn't know why I am like that. I could relate to most of the things you said in the video. At the end of the day I always blame myself for being too kind to others and end up hurting myself. You know who likes getting hurt? Nobody right. I am so grateful for your video. I feel like at least there is someone who understands me. Thanks again ❤️
1. respect yourself first 0:48 2. set clear boundaries 2:25 3. understand you don't have to be nice all the time 3:19 4. speak up 4:35 5. don't over-apologize 5:37 6. display confident body language 6:37 I hope I could help! :)
Last night I overheard my roommates discussing about everyone else and they were making fun of us all. When It got to my turn, they spoke about how they all had some kind of respect for me on meeting me first time. But because I became more open and free around them, they started showing disrespect, treating me like a minor entity. And after listening to their reasons for disrespecting me, I felt really bad. I think the best way to earn it back is to work on myself, be on my own lane, stop speaking to them and stop playing videogames. In fact. I wish I had never met them. I can't even change my room
You don’t have to earn it back that’s so stupid to group up and talk shit about someone in private and it’s stupid that you’d think you’d have to change yourself to please other people because that would never work mean people are mean people
I struggle with immense guilt when saying no or standing my ground or standing up for myself.I grew up in an abusive household,alcoholic father,narcissistic mother.Its really damaging and i didn't realise this,it literally spills over into one's adult life.Even doing something good for myself feels selfish,putting myself first feels selfish,like i don't deserve to be treated right
Yep, definitely a signs of past abuse and neglect, i have the same story like you growing up, alcoholic father and Narc mother, those guilty feeling when we stand up for ourself, I know how it feels we need some self love, self acceptance exercis
same. i'm learning to move past this now at almost 30. it's your life - don't let others dictate it. you deserve a space in this world, and to enjoy it. it's obviously not good for you, but it also doesn't do toxic people any good in life because you're enabling their bad behavior
*5 things to never do in a rush:* *1. Make big decisions* *2. Give away your trust* *3. Judge someone’s character* *4. Eat your food* *5. Fall in love* Love from a small channel💙
You can be nice and kind to everyone, and at the same time let them know your boundaries. ☺️ there’s always a nice way to decline an invitation, apprehend another’s bad action, and the like. As I’m getting older, I am getting too lazy to fight or be moody. It’s so much easier to smile, and especially when saying “no”. 😁😏
Unfortunately a big thing I've had to accept over time is that all people are unintentionally extremely shallow. If you want respect, you have to start surface level. Good posture. Good clothing selection. Look like you have wealth and confidence. You get the deal. I've observed this so many times in many different situations. For example, substitute teachers. When it's an old balded guy with casual clothing, everyone gives them a really hard time. When it's a sharp looking 20 year old who isn't a substitute teacher for a living, they're praised and given good willed questions. I don't really think this is just a personal belief of mine or some dillusion I've fallen into. Every single day I see the same types of people and including myself get ridiculed, stepped on, ignored, used as a platform to jump off of (used as a part of a one sided "prank" or "joke" to make other people laugh), mocked in regards to stereotypes, etc. To boil it down really I just feel like I can't start anywhere if I don't start working on how I present myself.
This is false. The most respected teacher in my high school was old, fat and bald. But he knew how to talk to a bunch of 16 and 17 year olds. You are right though about the people you see get ridiculed and things of that nature. The ones doing the ridicule are the ones you should feel sorry for because they are the ones who are lost... that's not some motivational quote, that's just the truth. Quit dealing with people that treat you in ways you described, they'll never change, and you'd be crazy to think they ever will. People laugh at me it seems almost every day... But I don't care about those people or their opinions so what do I care. Don't let a bunch of ignorant people in society bring you down. Your opinion is the only one that matters.
@@blacksnow5069 I always stick to not caring what people think, but no armor is inpenetrable. It's hard to brush off these people when it's everyone I meet. It makes me desolate. Additionally it might just be where I live, but that's just another uncontrollable factor that I'd like to blame isn't it
i have exactly noticed that.there is a saying in my country that says : people's brain is in their eyes that means their judgements are merely on looks
@@HardBloodNelza I would say not to take peoples comments too hard. I used to make fun of people as a kid up to like age 21 without realizing the impact it had, and apparently I lacked empathy too. Maybe that's why I'm getting so much payback.
tbh empathy and respect towards others is what society needs the most, i learned this working at a fast food restaurant. some people are super nice but most don't respect you at all and they do that because they know you can't do much about it since you're working and can't cause problems. i cried many times while working there. also I love her voice it's soo soothing and charming!
Please stop letting a holes make you cry. They are not worth the tears. Don't make them so important. Look at those rude, miserable, nasty people like they have two heads. They are not there to stay. Do your job and keep it moving.❤
I try to be nice to everyone. I believe it works both ways. I know all the names of my peeps/workers at the local grocery store and call them by name and always greet them with a smile. You just never know when things can turn around for you for the better. It is always kind to see a kind and familiar face who greets you, and you are greeted back.
Emphasize on the empathy… it’s like nobody understands that the other person in the situation or anyone in general has feelings these days. That’s something I bring myself back to often. Arguing with someone makes you lose respect for yourself && everyone’s feelings always end up hurt. Just went through a bad argument and said things I didn’t mean, really regret it. Everyone has feelings.
Gaining respect and not being taken advantage of is highly important in any friendship. I would like to share my experience since it's weighing on me. I was friends with a person whom I used to talk a lot online, I thought we were great friends and everything seemed to be going too perfect. I was so nice to her and honestly OVER-NICE. It's not right. When we started offline classes I was constantly ghosted by her. She would rush off to her other friends in front of me, and the thing is I love her as a friend much more than she loves me. She would hardly give me respect and belittle me every time. Also I tried but I could not end my friendship with her. I can't ghost and she would always act like the victim if I tried to talk it out. Remember, if you don't want to be in a friendship NO ONE can force you. So, I have started distancing myself and I'm determined to detach myself from her.... Don't give in to everyone and stand up for yourself. You shouldn't settle for anything other than THE BEST. You deserve the best, know that. Start distancing yourself from people when you have tried everything and are still in the friendship which feels like a trap.
Sounds just like the experience I had, everything was good when we were talking in online but when offline classes came , it left me questioning myself "how did I end up being friends with this person?" , I sat next to this person everyday and even if I wanted to distance myself all I can do is being silent and doing my work , she argued with me whenever she got the chance , trying to belittle me but once I limited my interactions with her , she asked me "are you not going to sit with me anymore?" , "Are you avoiding me?" Like girl you argue with me 24/7 and you expect me to sit next you....🙄 Everyday going to school I was worried about my inner peace because of this person , it was hard for me to still be nice/good to her, that's when I thought this friendship is not good for either of us , now that our school days have ended, I hope I can make trustworthy friends and not someone who would make me question myself. I just wanted to share my experience too😣.
Kinda sad reading how many of us have friends like this. Listening to the video it sounds a lot like the way my friend treated me recently. For months now I ask myself were they real friends or user friends?! Ugh I can’t seem to find my way thru it to communicate how wrong it was. Is this a friendship to salvage or let go? It’s been months and I remain silent on all fronts. Eventually I have to deal with it but don’t know where to begin.
Through most of my life I’ve been too kind and would apologise often without being conscious of it. These days, I’m a lot more confident setting boundaries and getting my point across when things don’t go right. That way, it’s a way for me to sort out any problems that may arise without being too harsh. This video is great for anyone who’ve been through this and who’re grown tired of putting fake politeness all the time
I needed this I often get disrespected at work because I am the quiet type and I'm not confident enough. Some people tease me or make fun of me which really hurt.
I have the same problem. And it's not just about doing fun, also are mean to me, when the oppotunity occurs. Almost all of my colleagues was mean to me, just few not, and we're a small company. Even my new colleagues picked up on me, though they know how well I can do my job and I work here longer. I had respect at the start, later they got used to me, it changed. One of them even was picking me up about my health condition, which is not such a thing to make a fun of.
@Avo3adorable Nightcore If this goes to me as well..: Well the problem is, I have now low self-confidence, because I experienced toxic relationships most of my life. And relationship with my recent partners was toxic as well, so it's hard for me now (new traumas, anxiety) to be confident. I almost got out of depressions (6 years of duration), but they helped it to get it almost back.
I know what it's like to be too nice for your own good, because I've been through it. Sometimes being nice gets to the point where everyone starts to want something from you. You start to resent them and they only hit you up when they need something from you. They start to use your good nature against you. I thought that accepting every single request from students meant that I had earned their friendship and loyalty, even though it was at the cost of my own well-being. Instead, I started to resent them and walk on eggshells around them, becoming burned out from the overwhelming requests. I was willing to help my classmates, but eventually they started to abuse my good nature and only liked me when they needed something from me.
Hey do you have any advice for me? You seem to have found a great solution to this I am the exact same way as you and him 25-year-old male. I am super super reset for irritable I don’t trust anyone now because I feel that I have been taking advantage of too many times
@@matthewguillen2823I am 63 years old and spent my entire life being a people pleaser and people just "used" me. For YOUR sake ,please take care of yourself FIRST because no one else will. Also, watch closely to see who repays a favor and who just "uses" you.
I’m glad I’m finally doing all these things after 30. I’m almost 39 and very content w my self-respect and level of respect I receive. BOUNDARIES are so undervalued. Don’t take any sh*t from anyone, life is fragile and short! I love these videos. The narrator’s voice is so soothing too.
Rule # 1) never seek external validation, respect others people opinons...but deep down inside you shouldn’t really give a crap what other people think. Imo ofc
It's fine to respect others opinions. It's a big world and EVERYONE has an opinion about EVERYTHING... Don't let someone else's opinion(s) control a DAMN thing in your own. It's still a BIG world, with plenty of room for you to have and exercise your opinions as well as them and theirs... If they can't handle that, it's NOT your problem... It's only your problem when YOU can not handle that. ;o)
Have often been told I'm too nice,as many disrespect me,amd take me for granted. I'm happy listening to this podcast and i have to apply it in my day to day life 😊😊
This is great advice. I wish I knew this years ago. I had always put myself last because that’s how I was raised. Manners/etiquette > your own feelings/wants e.g. if I were to visit a family friend, I was not allowed to ask for anything because that was RUDE. That only paved the way for me to be overly passive. By being too passive, I wouldn’t ever set my own boundaries and that led to me tolerating more than I should. Tolerating only wore me out and made me feel disconnected from people. The truth is, I was the one at fault. I should have respected myself and put myself first in many situations, but that’s life. You live and you learn. Be careful with how much you tolerate of others. Set your boundaries. Your feelings and desires are important too. Don’t forget about YOU…
I’m practicing this. However, it is making me feel like I’m behaving like a b!+€& towards others and I find myself often struck with guilt. I remembered a phrase that went something like: whenever you stop pleasing others at the expense of yourself, you will experience resistance from the people around you. You may find yourself alone. Nowadays I’m more at ease with who I am.
Good day/evening!! I'm in the same situation as you are,but there's only one person that makes me feel guilty when I stand up for my own opinion. Can you give some advices, if you have? Thanks for reading!:>
I think there is a needed balance between being kind and coming off as how you put it - a bitch?! A lot of people say "No is a complete sentence". However, I think this is where the kindness factor comes into play. No may be a complete sentence, but I have had people publicly put me down by saying I was selfish when I told them no. After they made the comment I thought for a moment and asked them a question "Do you always say yes to everything you are asked to volunteer for? I would love to help out with the event, but I would not be bringing my A game to the event, if I can't bring my best work for you I have to respectfully decline." The people that were with us looked at me, then looked back at her waiting to hear her answer. I finally learned how to create boundaries without being bitchy, and was able to extricate myself from volunteer work with someone who was very judgemental towards me who had no right to be. It's all in how you approach each situation - I've learned the hard way a few times but have had the opportunity to look back and learn how I went wrong. I've dealt with catty women, bitchy women (who were proud of it and actually made a point to tell me that they were a bitch), back-stabbers, whiners and 22 year olds who acted like they were still 13 and bragged about it.......after dealing with these types of people I am able to pick them out of a line up and steer clear of them........does it make the pool of friends to choose from a lot smaller, almost non-existent?! Yes, yes it does, but what it leaves behind are the quality women you would be proud to call a friend.
That phrase is so true. I'm happy you find some peace for yourself :) I mastered the "always look confident" thing and I tell you, it's bullshit. People may respect me but afraid of me as well. I've got social phobia so I'm not very talkative. That, and the confident look always gives others the illusion that I'm snobby and look down upon them. I can't just blend into groups like before, there is always a real "alpha" who's trying to protect his/her reputation and starts to fight me and curse me out and it's terrible. I'm always alone because nobody dares to speak with me and I can't really start a conversation. Sometimes I really want to just return to my old, disrespected self but I don't know how to act not confident anymore lol
The “sorry” saying! I never realized the connection to being respected. I need to stop putting that word into my daily interactions. Thank you for this!
I’ve always considered the ‘illusion’ you need’ to be liked be everybody a vulnerability that makes it difficult to set boundaries. First thing would be: respect yourself and ditch the idea everybody has to like you. Makes live much easier and people will respect you because you are really you and not a person that conforms to whoever he or she encounters.
I can vouch for this. I am an anxious little potato and I muster up a lot of courage to greet my aunt. I am tutoring her child which is why I was at their house for a while, and dude, I practiced greeting, went out of my comfort zone and greeted only to be ignored, I tried again and again, then I got scared of greeting, so I stopped. Dude she like complained to my mom and grandparents that I dont greet her, and she even got mad at me. So, I greeted her since they got pretty mad, dude, like listen, SHE PUT ON AN ANNOYED FACE WHENEVER I GREET HER. This might not seem like a lot for people that are not socially anxious, but I got so ducking frustrated that I just hid whenever she or other people that are not chill arrive. Teaching my 6 year old cousin there for about a year sucked, it sucked, not only does she not listen to anyone (which is why they hired me because they cant handle her and expects me a 13 year old to get her straight A's) It sucked because my aunt is strict af, and says hurtful things when mad, and would literally target you. They appreciate nothing I ever did, but looked for every hole that I can be considered irresponsible for. I cant say the whole story but it sucked and it upgraded my anxiety, downgraded my self respect and esteem. And upgraded my dermatilomania too. Oh and I got my cousin straight A's with the cost of my mental well being and they still hate me and never even said thank you. Or even ducking said that I did a good job, like nothing. Just sent me home after yelling at me cuz they didnt like one output my cousin made which got her an A :/ But life is getting better since I am now away from there, and I hope they never hire me again because I am a legendary pushover that doesnt know how to say no. I got called retarded so many times in that house. Im ducking 13, I got your kid straight A's and did a better job at teaching her kid. Great, I just got reminded that they might hire me again since nobody can literally handle my cousin and the school year is about to begin again. *searches up "How to say no"*
@@TitaniumTronic Did you talk about this to your parents? If you helped your cousin to straight As and after all you've done your aunt still treats you with disrespect I hope your parents understand you and don't force you to go to your aunt.
@@Vince-od5wr Unfortunately, no, I don't think they would take my word rather than my aunt's but its okay now, things gotten better, my anxiety is better, can sleep better, no usual breakdowns! And I'm not yet sure if they would re-hire me, if they offer, I'll try my absolute best to turn it down and completely refuse, its just not worth it even for the money
1.Respect yourself 2. Set boundaries 3. Understand u dont have to be nice all the time 4. Speak up 5. Dont over apologise 6. Display confidence body language : Good posture. Eye contact. Head high. Hand gestures.
More great stuff! I was socialized to "be nice all the time" and it took me so long to realize it was not necessary! Self-respect is key to true happiness.
1 year ago I used to be shy and has less confidence about my favorite job. Now, I'm back with confidence and power! Thanks for all the videos you guys made. It made me understand people more as I am working as a customer service person.
There are some things like over apologizing, tolerance and many others that can make us vulnerable in front of a society that is possessive and that wants to exploit and take advantage of us.
The fact that you hit me in very angle like not respecting oneself, don't know how to say no, understand not to be nice all the time, not speaking up, don't over-apologize, avoid eye-contact, and cold glare. I was told I look angry all the time because of that and I need to change so much so thanks. I have no time for myself and my solitude so I feel burned out every day. This actually opened my eyes.
The narrator's voice is absolutely relaxing. I really like the way she talks so calmly and with some sweetness in her voice. ☺☺ I don't know how to explain...but...her voice is just perfect. Edit: Thx ya so much guys for so many likes. Never even crossed 10 😅
I've always been the type to say 'I'm sorry' after someone explains a bad situation to me, but lately I've been catching myself b/c I realize there's no need. I didn't do anything and some people take offense if they don't want to be pityed. Now I just say 'that sucks' or 'I get it' to tell them I sympathize.
What a charming and soothing voice this lady has! I've stumbled upon a few videos from this channel, and I'd like to say that this is high quality content. It's fun, it's in-depth without being tiresome, lighthearted and very useful. I sometimes struggle in social situations, so these advices are a Godsend. You guys deserve all the best and much success 🙏🏼
Years ago, a girl I was seeing left me for someone else. When I asked her why, she began talking down to me, and saying that I misunderstood her and that she still wanted to be friends. When I pushed further, she turned it around, got angry, and said that it was really my fault for not trying hard enough in the relationship. At the time I felt guilty and said I guess she was right. Even though I stopped talking to her after that, for years I've regretted not standing up for myself more and stating my position as to why I didn't deserve to be treated like that.
When I was young, everybody treated me like a weakling, I was used as a punching bag and I was laughed at, heck I was even compared all the time. All the time I used to think that I don't amount to anything. But then I started to better myself leave everything and everyone that makes me feel small, weak and stupid. I invested and cared for myself that I enjoyed what I'm doing, I started working out, reviewing and keep on getting better. Those who laughed at me, compared me to, punched me, bullied me I see them as the on who pushed me through to respect myself and be better. PS: I hope everyone is okay, wish you the best and so you know, You are doing Great 😃
For me opposite. Learned in therapy that I see people how they see me as monster it's how I was treated and with my family their way treatment even more like which made me go down hill even more. More and more. Only positivity letter be get better. Lesson. Not everyone wants to be come heartless monsters like those bullies. They knew what damage they do. They know that they are no different then people who belong in prison. Why would I care about me if no one cares about me. Healing starts with loving people. But society says otherwise for making an excuse to be evil bully.
I appreciate you sharing psychology knowledge like this that may come in handy. Not all people are given the better advices to deal with the world and people, like me who didn't have friends in highschool so I grew up with poor knowledge on how to deal with people. At least with videos like this, everyone can access knowledge we needed. It's like having a good friend that cares for you self-development and telling you advices.
I needed this. I always feel like I need to be nice to people even when they aren’t as nice. I realize even though I feel like this is the best option I still feel like crap inside and that I’m not truly okay.
Perhaps saving this video and looking at it when you need to will help you. That’s what I do sometimes when a video is helpful, especially when I’m working on that specific part of myself. I hope it helps if you try it, man
im a completely different person than i used to be, i used to be really introverted and shy, but now i find myself being really relatable to a lot of popular/well-respected kids, but by now i've already set my reputation so low that it is almost impossible to break out of who people think i am into who i really am.
i realized this month that i need to start being honest about what i'm feeling. it's already had a huge positive effect on my life. you don't need to keep toxic ppl in your life. you don't have to feel guilty. you're not doing them any favors in life by enabling their behavior
At the moment, I’m being framed for making a harmless joke, and all my friends are turning against me. This was great advice, maybe I’ll find friends that will treat me better
My friends (the very VERY short list) often scold me for sick, twisted, and demented outbursts of humor... They know I'm kidding around, and that I'm contrarian by rote... SO they scold me for it and then we move on... The even reserve actual scolding for things that are actually upsetting or worse, not just the "nature" of the gag or joke... BUT we always just move on... called out and acknowledged and done... Anyone who treats you worse than that isn't fit to be a friend... Simple as that. Walk away. Only when they realize there is NOTHING they can hold over your head do they start to acknowledge that YOU DO HAVE CONTROL.. just as much as they do. It sucks sometimes, but sometimes you have to walk away. Sometimes you have to INSIST that it's "the end"... and that's that. You can't be afraid to write someone off (figuratively)... Only when you actually exercise the brakes to a stop do you actually have the control to reach a stop, THE single most important control on anything. The one with the brake-lever in hand is the one in control. It ONLY goes as far as s/he allows. ;o)
I am always nice to people (or so i believe) i dont talk much, i dont critic them, but they keep treating me badly because of my looks... we live in a cruel world...
We don't live in a cruel world, it's just that the people in it can be cruel. Don't surround yourself with cruel people, distance yourself from them. Sometimes it's hard and sometimes it's impossible but it can't hurt to atleast try. If you're really having a hard time with people that you cannot distance yourself from you should combat it by telling them that you know they're treating you like this because of your looks (if that is the case). To cause the most impact on them you should say it in a disrespectful manner because they obviously don't respect you.
I've found there's always some level of discomfort and offense "required" to set boundaries, but it can still be "respectful" to our self and the other person. Comfort is the confusion with living a happy life, getting strong with discomfort and speaking up is indeed a key to a happier more genuine life that people will naturally have to respect more than being super defensively comfortable. I realized this myself, still learning but I've come a ways for sure. I find training the "deliberate speaker" self helps. To go deeper into a mental calm flow... say the hard words... say them because they are more true than the anxiety. The deliberate speaker deepens the voice, slows down, speaks a decent heavy volume, makes solid laser eye contact, shows more respect and reality than ever before. A little bit of bite / growl is necessary to prevent disrespect. People test at places like a job, hmm can they take it, a little bite back - of course. Without a little hardness, bullet-proofness, and too much being nice and soft, there is inevitable disrespect even from nice people. I realized it's actually in human nature more than people just being cruel. From here, it's ultimately deep in the self that's holding back the self with unresolved insecurities to be too nice. Society itself has gotten pretty soft, that's not a good thing, but it's not impossible to regain the balance with some habit changes - best is always starting on the body. Like David Goggins, his story is incredible - bullied, really soul crushed, massive lack of self respect, tons of failures, he found through his increase of action in his body was the key that turned it all around. The brain is designed for motion and physical activity and works absolutely best with consistent activity and this is a huge key to the softness today - extreme comforts, the most comfortable humanity has ever been, but at a great cost as well. Motion is the means, and the brain adapts and grows tougher with it. Meditation is also an exercise of discipline, dopamine detox, reset, healing.
I'm not shy or non talkative, but one of my biggest pet peeves is when ppl take advantage of my kindness. You don't understand how many times of gotten "you don't seem like the kind of person to argue or do this and that your too nice". Yes I am very nice, that doesn't mean I can't stand up for myself or speak my mind smh 🙄
Exactly Stay away from those people who do NOT respect you. You don't need them. Only of course if they are family, you will have to work hard on it, but sometimes it is best to avoid.
Your mom goes a LOT during the day, she has to take care of the whole house. Speaking of the house, even her family members. She does hard work EVERDAY and we, as a child get exhausted by doing chores in 1 hour, so imagine how she would feel, doing this everday. So it's better to even help her sometimes, you know to respect her
1- Respect yourself first Give us the respect we deserve. Self love, self focus, self improvement. By living in present On a way of thinking higher yourself.❤ Things happen because of your mistakes? Learn to say NO without feeling guilty. Key to healthy relationship is not let others to take advantage of you. & Make sure you get what you pay for in life. You are enough to make happy yourself and not others. 2- Set clear boundaries - You can keep your POV in a kind way. 3- You don't have to be nice alll the time- When you feel like you have to at expense of your own happiness it's not a good idea. & Don't feel guilty about it. You won't be doing everything in your friends favour. Right? 4- Speak up- Just because you are shy it doesn't mean others interrupt u. Use names, eyr contact, hand gestures,. 5- Don't over apologize - Quit the habit of saying sry . Your words should carry weight especially in apology. 1- If you aren't doing a favour - DON'T APOLOGIZE 2- opposing opinion - don't apologise. 6- Confident body language - Show that you can't be pushed around.❤
"Respect yourself" is not always that easy. When you've got difficulties with your self-esteem during your whole life, you can't just shift it to self-respect. In reality the majority of people have a certain amount of insecurity about themselves and that's actually a very normal thing. What the majority of people can manage, is to give other people the impression they are confident. In reality they are much more insecure than they expose towards others. It seems to me people should become more aware of this. For me personally it gives me confidence to know I am not crazy to have my insecurities: it makes me being human just like everybody else. And from that point I started to grow genuine self-respect.
I really needed this video right now. Thank you Psych2Go! Always remember that just because the other person is nice, doesn't mean you can't say no. Respect your boundaries.
We have a videos on overthinking: 1) 10 Signs You Might Be Overthinking ruclips.net/video/NU9ajgqYag8/видео.html 2) 7 Things Overthinker Can Relate To ruclips.net/video/xDhySrr9v4k/видео.html
Step one: be a wizard. Step two: if you are not a wizard, be a Lannister. Step three: if neither a wizard nor a Lannister, be extroverted. Step four: don’t be an analytical, emotionless, intellectual stimulation addict, and introverted, high functioning sociopath.
@@oppenbot1717 My dear Watson, I am glad to see that you have been using your deduction abilities to the fullest, I am surprised that you have not neglected those skills after running away with Miss Mary.
Sometimes I wish you would at least try to show some manners. And I've told you a million times to use your own laptop if you want to show your oh so breathtaking intellect to the world! Have you at least bought milk?
the opening line describes my life perfectly "taken advantage of , no one respects you, no one listens to you, people try to talk over you or walk over you"
I like to start off as myself, who is kind and considerate, and takes responsibility for any wrongs I've made. I'm much better at recognizing the people who accept me as I am and have integrity, and the ones who choose to take advantage of my kindness. It's amazing how much they'll blow up at you when they realize you see exactly what they are. The switch to hostility is kind of amazing.
Keep going in the direction that gives u peace. Love yourself and those who love u like this was going to be the on lo y chance u ever got to do so. Because it is. Now. Love u now. And love them right now. U got this. Be proud of ur achievements my friend. U have come so far. Pass along some positive energy. Thank u Sir 💟😎💟
Disrespected: the classic Maybe that’s why I went all throughout high school and ( and pretty much thereafter) without being invited to a party or dating even though I graduated in the top 1% of my class: because of my shyness. I wish I had been taught this series earlier in life
This video was in my watch later list.. so I saw this after 1/2 year It's incredible how much I changed from relating to someone who gets walked all over to someone who is confident☺️ Special tip: something that helped me become confident in myself was opening up to my family and taking mask off infront of my friends and exercise (not kidding) so try if these work for you😉👍🏻
i don't need people to respect me, i show them the same respect that they do to me, that's how im chill with the people around me. Whoever shows no respect to you from the start you don't need that person, the best thing to do is to learn how to write off unnecessary people out of your life
1. Respect yourself first 2. Set clear boundaries 3. Understand you don't have to be nice all the time 4. Speak up 5. Don't over apologize 6. Display confident body language :)
I feel that I just get disrespected at work a lot. I know that your boss has to be in command and you have to take it with a grain of salt naturally, but I don’t feel that I get the respect I deserve (I even feel weird saying I deserve respect 😅). Anyway, I’m a horse wrangler and I have to take care of horses needs and take at least 4 trail rides that are an hour long every day. My boss Avery is fine but she snaps at me in particular a lot. She doesn’t do it to anyone else but me. I’m new and am getting the ropes of everything and I get tons of compliments by several people a day which builds my confidence. An old man walked up to me and said “thank you for sharing this experience with me and my family. You made the long, tiring, travel here worth every minute.” I never felt so good, I started to burst into tears later about it. Bust my boss will shout at me in front of guests as if I don’t know what I’m doing, when I do. It makes me feel stupid and belittled. My horse wasn’t going anywhere after kicking him and slapping him on the butt. He was not in a good mood and Avery storms up, grabs him and yells “GET CONTROL OF YOUR HORSE AND YOURSELF BELLA!” Everyone looked at me with a shocked look and like they say something crazy happen. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed. Like I had no control of anything. I felt so small. She still yells from across fields at me when she’s not doing her part and she sends me away from her whenever I’m around. Today the vet came to check the horses and as soon as I would walk over she would just make me unsaddle horses, clean all the horse tack, grain the horses, and other stuff while her friends were sitting there doing nothing. I felt like I was just being taken advantage of. I know she’s supposed to tell me what to do but I wonder, can’t she reprehend me in private? I want to build my self confidence and try to be the bigger person. My new years revolution was to not be a push over anymore or just being taken advantage of. I know it’s work but it just doesn’t make me feel good about myself, and I love wheat it do, she just makes me not want to be there. So I’m going to try some of these tips for a while and I’ll be back to see how it goes! 🙏🏻👍🏻
It took me 26 years to respect and love myself enough to start actually properly defend my own boundaries, admit to myself that I'm bisexual, and learning to take care of my own well-being. Combine those with a couple near death experiences i had before, and that has cascaded into me radiating a kind of loving warm confident energy everywhere i go, that other people respect enough not to abuse or attack anymore. ( ˘ ³˘)♥ Everyday I wake up with butterflies and warmth in my chest just to be alive, sober, and well. To have such a balanced life full of great things, a boyfriend and awesome great new friends around me 🥰🦊 That's one helluva climb from being a self-hating dope addict fantasizing about going to the nearest train tracks and stuck in a toxic relationship for 4 years. That's exactly why everyone should learn to respect themselves enough to set boundaries and learn that you can't always please everyone. That's how you attract abusers and people who just want to take advantage of you.
5:52 // apologizing can be the result of trauma. Apologizing is instinct to me. I apologize even when people wrong me. And I know it's not good or healthy, but it's not like I want to constantly feel guilty and anxious. CPTSD as a result of lifelong trauma. So, self-blame and guilt is wired into me. I've gotten better over the years, but sometimes, I get intense urges to apologize to someone for the mere thought that I may have somehow hurt them. Even if we never spoke and it's hell. I can't always control it; messing up always held a high weight and consequences.
And while doing so, keep control of your emotions and treat everyone with kindness, almost like a friend. It’ll make you seem more welcoming and make others rather fond of you. I can tell you first hand that it works. You don’t have to bottle things up, just have someone on the side to talk to when you need. If you lose your cool around strangers or enemies too often they won’t have as much respect for you and maybe will even find your weaknesses to bother you with. Just be clear with everyone from the start. Also be as truthful as you can but choose your words carefully. They’ll learn that you’ll be trustworthy. :)
We released 6 Habits To Boost Your Intelligence yesterday. Have you watched it yet? If not, watch here after this video ruclips.net/video/9bsPUTdztrQ/видео.html
I did :D
3rd
Never miss a second....
I did too :D
:D
Respecting yourself first is a great advice, especially if you really want to be respected.
True
Ok , fellow time traveller
Are you a member cuz this vid came out like 9 mins ago
@sfs rocket lab ye I saw it now thanks
Idk what means respecting yourself
0:50 RESPECT YOURSELF
2:25 SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES
3:18 UNDERSTAND YOU DONT HAVE TO BE NICE ALL THE TIME
4:35 SPEAK UP
5:37 DONT OVER APOLOGISE
6:39 DISPLAY CONFIDENT BODY LANGUAGE
Thx time traveller :D
Thank you!! Also ur profile pic and username is amazing
Time traveler
OH MAH GAHD YOU HAVE A TEASING MASTER TAKAGI SAN PFP OH MAH GAHD!!!
RUclips is high again lmao🤣
If someone doesn’t appreciate your kindness, that person doesn’t deserve to be your friend.
I absolutely agree.
Bruh I fight back
kindness alone won't make you gain the respect of others, it's also having presence and power, the 3 pillars of charisma, specially having power, the more valuable you're to others, the more they will respect you
Or your partner.
And most important you should stop being kind to them
Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized.
Albert Einstein
That's ironic, really.
@@Altrantis yeah
Everyone has clay feet. Never idolize anyone, they can never live up to the expectations.
Nah, not everyone deserves it.
@@commerce-usa yeah
1 - Respect Yourself first.
2 - Set clear boundaries.
3 - Understand that you don't have to be nice all the time.
4 - Speak Up.
5 - Don't over apologize.
6 - Display confident body language.
{ Thanks for likes
Thanks, body*
“Boby” 😭
@@liz-jv5tg don't add an extra "o" :)
Thanks ❣
how though
I always feel disrespected everyday in school. I'm always bullied and my classmates are always hiding my stuff... This afternoon I finally opened up to my mom and she really made me feel comfortable. Now I'm gonna change and show those jerks what I can do.
good idea
Yes, change girl and teach them a lesson!
how are you?
did you get your revenge?
"So how is life now? Are you still bullied?
*5 things to quit right now:*
*1. Overthinking*
*2. Trying to make everyone happy*
*3. Living in the past*
*4. Worrying*
*5. Doubting yourself…*
Love from a small RUclipsr💙
I don't know why but I think it was hard to be on the number 2
I know this internet is full of disrespectfull toxic people, and they always judge everything just because of their hidden identity.
People in real life are seems more nice but if I make them happy will they help me back when I was in a danger? Well I guess not but it just makes me feel better tho.
I just hate the internet when they are very toxic and cannot respect others opinion.
@@Flowesomecat fax
i do all of these. :(
@Taabish Khan - Easier said than done!
@@Flowesomecat you spoke facts
6 Important Guidelines in Life
-When you are Alone, mind your Thoughts.
-When you are with Friends, mind your Tongue.
-When you are Angry, mind your Temper.
-When you are with a Group, mind your Behavior.
-When you are in Trouble, mind your Emotion.
-When God starts blessing you, mind your EGO.
So you made your way here to this RUclips channel. Good play man, good play
Lol mate, you are everywhere
You are every where man..
These found on the eight-fold path.
Nice
Don’t ever take kindness for weakness. That being said, be soft, but be ready
I was thinking about that. For example, when you get disrespected you have to consciously make yourself aware of that in that moment, after that you can reply and defend. The problem is that you don't want to come off as aggressive. Anyone with any thoughts.
A lot of people.act 'nice' and nice is wrongly conflated with kind. People who 'act' 'nice' do it to gain ammo or leverage to demand 'returned favors' from others. Such favors are sometimes called covert contracts. Covert contracts are unkind since their.covert nature means those pulled into them are not necessarily pulled in consensually. Ironically, this invalidates the 'contract' side of it since contracts must be agreed upon. Regardless, it is a slimy thing and because of its commonness, most actual kind is not well differentiated from 'nice'. True kindness is done without any expectation of return and solely for the sake of being kind. It is much rarer than its purveyors want to believe.
Unfortunately, a lot of people take real kindness for weakness and take advantage of your kindness and don't treat you with the respect you deserve. I'm a kind person who is genuinely nice to people. But a lot of people are mean to me and that always confuses me. I have also helped a lot of people but when I asked the same people for help they didn't help me and didn't want to be my friend anymore after I helped them. That being said, kindness should never be seen as a weakness. Even though I have been bullied and taken advantage of many times in my life, I have never stopped helping people and being a kind person and that makes me feel strong.
@@chomeeghouri1306 They’re just weak and pathetic for taking someone who’s kind and never snaps as weak. Keep being nice, and I promise that one day people will want to be your friends
I am always too nice. I don’t talk much at all, I’m just there. People mistake my kindness for weakness or think I’m too “soft”, but it’s best I leave them to it. I don’t need to explain my kindness. Do I?
You're such a gem!
@@Psych2go ✨❤️❤️thank you!! I like to protect my peace. I let whoever think whatever 😤
NEVER. main thing is you do not have to explain your kindness or your impact on anything mainly we should never brag bout ourselves. but sometimes we think we are being a savage when in reality we are just being rude. mainly you should kniw your worth it. love yourself. treat yourself. know that.
@@aar4440 and that’s on what?😊
@@tristancotton8007 no just saying you do not have to explain how you are you are worth it tho. 😊
_"When you respect people, you aren't afraid of them. When you're afraid of them, you don't respect them."_
~ Julius Rock
Well said
Yup.
"you don't respect them, you fear them." *
Love that..❤❤❤
Facts you would hate to hear how badly I'm afraid of my parents on a nightly basis because my mother simply treats me like crap and has always got a negative attitude and says stuff to me in a negative way everytime I talk to her but not only that but she's an excuse maker because last night before my parents went to bed my mother comes into my room and she starts complaining and she was making dumb excuses about my favourite School Teachers and how she's told them about my behaviour and how my favourite Teachers don't like me which is not true because some of my favourite Teachers Don't even know my mother very well especially not as well as they know me and so because of that and also with the issues I had with her in the past I'm thinking of abandoning and rejecting my parents and everyone I don't get along with as soon as I straight up move out of home and so the only supportive people I will have left in my life are my favourite School Teachers, The adults I work with, My basketball Coaches and teammates and my friends but that's it everyone else I'm going to cut from my life.
Everyone wants to be loved, failing that, respected, failing that, feared, and failing that, hated. Try to remember that other people have feelings too, and hurt-people hurt people.
I’m tired of being taken advantage of. It sucks to want to be kind to everyone but know that it will get me no where.
Do whats best for you not for the other person. Look at your wants and needs first.
Seek out quieter /kind people. Sometimes quieter ones are kinder.
You should stop being stupid and man up.Dont be fragile,toughen yourself
My mother: Did you actually try to use these methods on me, mortal?
She paid money for getting those? Ehhm attention
@Alli paid I think
@Alli it's paid
🤔🤔
@Alli membership
I always try to be kind to others but it always seems they take advantage of my kindness and lose any respect towards me
Same :(
same but it didn’t seem like it that’s what people were actually doing I’ve changed doe I’m still the kind person I was before I’m only kind and respectful to those who are kind and respectful to me basically the golden rule in the Bible lol
It's this stupid idea that Niceness = weakness, like if your kind you suddenly become a tool to use. I like to help cause that's what friends do, I aint a maid or buttler.
@@cleanwater3180 Facts 💯 %
Only be kind to those who deserve your kindness, don’t forget that
You know what’s actually incredibly sad. Is that the comment section and also the video itself actually made me self realize once again; A life long issue that i have struggled with for an absurd amount of time due to past trauma. And the looming issue is that I’m a people pleaser… not an extreme case but to a point where i self neglected for so long that i almost caused myself to self destruct. Anyways i just had to get that out… Thank you and i hope y’all stay safe and maintain healthy growth. 😕
Well, you said it.
That is great.
I found out this about me when I was past 50. Started to change, and the whole he'll broke loose.
Took some time to leave everything and started new life
As a semi retired professional people pleaser, I can relate. Thankfully, it’s now how one starts, it’s how they finish. It sounds like you know better, and when one knows better they usually do better. I sincerely hope you ARE doing better. When you treat someone like a rockstar, they treat you like a fan :-)
Amen
I finally did the “do not apologize” mindset during my hospital duty when the resident would try to pin the blame on me. I had realized that people take advantage of me because im too timid and nice. At some point in my life, I just hated everyone, I saw everyone as selfish, I tried to help everyone to the expense of my own. I was taught to be kind, but I realized that not everyone is nice. It was then that I made sure to ONLY be truly nice to those that matter. To people like me, being too nice will only ruin my mental state as I grow older, so I started to speak up and say No even if that, to me, is extremely difficult.
How do you be nice to those that matter
We can't be nice to everyone, unfortunately. Some people won't reciprocate because they don't appreciate it.
I hope you're doing better now these days and having the best time ever
I admire you! I recently discovered that you can't be nice to everyone too and am trying to change my mindset to respect myself more.
Being kind to everyone isn’t good, not everyone deserves your kindness. Be neutral until people earn your kindness and vice versa
Respect is one of the greatest expressions of love.🧡
It is a catalyst to love. After all, how can you love someone you don't respect?
@@commerce-usa A catalyst and an expression. Because you love someone, you show them respect.
We must respect to everybody
Exactly! One time someone told me she wasn’t my guest, she only was guest of my husband. I sensed her lack of respect and her hatred towards me.
Love and respect hold each other up. One must have these components within to love another in the truest sense. You can't give someone what you don't have for yourself.
I work in customer service.
I started saying “thanks for your patience“ instead of “sorry about the wait,”and it has made all the difference in my nervousness about wait times.
"Don't tolerate people who disrespect you, by respecting yourself first because it all starts in you"
-Halaena
But I used to respect myself, does that mean they somehow got me to stop respecting myself??
Woah they are great at doing it
we cannot control ppl to act the same way as we want because there will some ppl who have an issue within themselves that's why they reflect it on you or other ppl, and that's their shit. Just know that it has nothing to do with you.
@@halaenahurisse7799 I absolutely 💯 agree! People project their issues onto others. Miserable, sick, people can't stand happy, nice, kind people.
Yeah and I feel like they should've added respecting others too, coz no one will ever respect someone who doesn't respect them either
Bitches who cling to "respect yourself" are always the ones who do crazy shit and feel really bad about it deep inside.
This quote is literally a crazy bitch invention to try to repress their conscience deep down. And their conscience is just in there, screaming "I'm a selfish jealous piece of shit hoe"
You have to appease the conscience and face your inadequacies, or have someone make you face them, if you want self respect, you can't just tell yourself to feel a certain way, that's not how minds work.
- Me bitch 2022
Ironically, one of my friends in 3rd grade taught me to say no to people when it made me uncomfortable so people wouldn’t take advantage of me. Even though it can still be hard sometimes, I haven’t forgotten her advice.
I was around 14 years old when I first learn that someone could taje advantage of me, and that advantage was being taken of me since childhood. To think that someone in 3rd grade is so smart is just commendable
@@Mr-BareMinimum im 14 rn and im watching this vid btw lol
@@user-bg7ud3vg9v probably the right time 😂
@@Mr-BareMinimum im watching this video bc i was born with autism and was shy to do or say certain stuff bc I thought person would not like it and stuff or I wouldn't know there reason if I did that
thats a pretty nice friend
I'm a silent viewer of your content but this time I wanna let you know that we appreciate this advice and knowledge as it helps us in our lives.
Thanks Psych2Go 💙
Story time:
I used to have this friend, who always wanted someone to talk to 24/7 she told me that, she said they wished she could have a friend like that. So I was like: why not be the friend *she* wants, I don't want them to feel lonely like me.. So I did try to talk to her a lot, even though I really just want alone time I still try. Until one day where I really needed alone time, I told them and my other friends that I'm going on a break for a little while and just be alone. But she said 'no' she doesn't want me to leave them alone, though I understand that she gets lonely a lot. At that time I really needed to sort out my messy thoughts, I told them that I really want and need to be alone for awhile but she still insisted.
Long story short whether they liked it or not I spent a few days alone anyway.
Also there were times I was extremely dry (because I didn't want to talk at all) then she ended up saying "STOP BEING DRY IT'S ANNOYING" and it just hurt me... Because it felt like I cant express my emotions with them.
Then months later, we continuously kept arguing because our opinions were really different, she would sort of try to make me have the same opinions as them. So I decided to cut off connections with her.
Now I don't know how they're doing or what they're doing.
All I know is I've been feeling lonely these past few days and I just need someone to vent to so I ended up venting here.
To those who reached the end of this comment, thanks for listening, have a nice day/night :))
Edit: hello again! it's been 3 weeks since I commented this here, all I want to say is thank you so much for your comforting words! It helped a lot, also I'll do a little life update:
I've been doing really well lately! A few days after I posted this comment I joined a discord server, and through that I met so many great friends! They're all so nice and they respect me a lot. It's true that it's better to be lonely than to be in a toxic relationship, because there will always be someone-or more that will enter your life and treat you better than anyone else did! so if you're reading this right now, you can do this, ok? I know it's hard but that doesn't mean you should give up. Don't blame yourself for your past because you can't control it anymore, instead, what you should do is to use those mistakes to learn and grow and be a better person! It's hard to be mentally stable again, but trust me when I say that it's worth it because it is, it's the happiest feeling I've ever felt! So now, whoever is feeling sad or lonely, remember I'm here for you! You can do this, trust me, I'm rooting for you good luck!
jezz, that was an interesting story, thanks for sharing it!
“It’s far better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.”
Marilyn Monroe
It’s gonna be okay.
It will pass. You will meet new people who will not disrespect your boundaries and will respect you. I'm glad you didn't stay in that circle because of fear of being alone ❤️
your friend is really toxic, what you did was right to leave her, i know that you will find someone who can really respect you and wanting to hear all of your emotions♡♡♡
"You can create your own happiness ", man that makes me cry. I'm 32 and I've just let myself get walked on my whole life. At least I know a bit better now.
That's sad to read... I wish u a fulfilled life in dignity
Don’t let me treat you like a door mat you are strong valuable people can suck
Lucidity is what helps you stand up to stop people walking over you. This means also pure honesty and sheer awareness of how that damages you. Some truths are harsh to face and swallow, about other people and ourselves. But if you've got the courage to do it, you'll see it's much easier to make yourself respected.
You can buy yourself 🌺
Rooting for you ❤
Oh my god. My mind is blown. I felt like you literally know everything that's going on in my life rn. I was feeling overwhelmed recently and I was looking for a solution. Thank you so much for making me understand my feelings better. I was confused like I didn't know why I am like that. I could relate to most of the things you said in the video. At the end of the day I always blame myself for being too kind to others and end up hurting myself. You know who likes getting hurt? Nobody right. I am so grateful for your video. I feel like at least there is someone who understands me. Thanks again ❤️
1. respect yourself first 0:48
2. set clear boundaries 2:25
3. understand you don't have to be nice all the time 3:19
4. speak up 4:35
5. don't over-apologize 5:37
6. display confident body language 6:37
I hope I could help! :)
How u posted a month ago?
This is why it's kinda rude and inconsiderate to tell people to "smile"....Like, let people feel however they need to.
Yesss!! We all hv emotions! And we need the lows to experience the highs. Wouldn’t u agree?
@@MindNow but sometimes if you always think about the lows, it's hard to notice and appreciate the highs :)
@@julia-pw8fz I’m not saying to only experience the lows, but it’s just part of life to balance out the good 🙏❤️
that is nowhere near rude.
This is just our opinion Jay Sai...
Last night I overheard my roommates discussing about everyone else and they were making fun of us all. When It got to my turn, they spoke about how they all had some kind of respect for me on meeting me first time. But because I became more open and free around them, they started showing disrespect, treating me like a minor entity. And after listening to their reasons for disrespecting me, I felt really bad. I think the best way to earn it back is to work on myself, be on my own lane, stop speaking to them and stop playing videogames. In fact. I wish I had never met them. I can't even change my room
You don’t have to earn it back that’s so stupid to group up and talk shit about someone in private and it’s stupid that you’d think you’d have to change yourself to please other people because that would never work mean people are mean people
And mean people do exist. Why accept their “meanness” when they do not accept your openness?
Just don't talk to them at all
Just don't talk to them at all
Just don't talk to them at all
I struggle with immense guilt when saying no or standing my ground or standing up for myself.I grew up in an abusive household,alcoholic father,narcissistic mother.Its really damaging and i didn't realise this,it literally spills over into one's adult life.Even doing something good for myself feels selfish,putting myself first feels selfish,like i don't deserve to be treated right
Yep, definitely a signs of past abuse and neglect, i have the same story like you growing up, alcoholic father and Narc mother, those guilty feeling when we stand up for ourself, I know how it feels
we need some self love, self acceptance exercis
same. i'm learning to move past this now at almost 30. it's your life - don't let others dictate it. you deserve a space in this world, and to enjoy it. it's obviously not good for you, but it also doesn't do toxic people any good in life because you're enabling their bad behavior
When you understand that you can't please everyone all the time, it will feel much better saying 'no' and the guilt will go away.
@@sandrapatriciaoriguarios4589 guilt, scapegoat child always on hostile with guilt, Narc favourite weapon, guilt tripping....
sorry this happened to you. You Deserve respect and kindness always Peace out.
*5 things to never do in a rush:*
*1. Make big decisions*
*2. Give away your trust*
*3. Judge someone’s character*
*4. Eat your food*
*5. Fall in love*
Love from a small channel💙
Your channel looks very interesting! I'll definitely check it out!
So can we get rid of OCY who forces loving people to feel this way?!
I do all 5
same name
Great suggestions
You can be nice and kind to everyone, and at the same time let them know your boundaries. ☺️ there’s always a nice way to decline an invitation, apprehend another’s bad action, and the like.
As I’m getting older, I am getting too lazy to fight or be moody. It’s so much easier to smile, and especially when saying “no”. 😁😏
Toxic people admire you for over apologizing as they never like to take the blame for anything. Thank you for this video very helpful💜
thats why i dont do it anymore
See, I don't care what people talk about me behind my back, good quote.
I’m surrounded by them
Yesss! Staying true to yourself and saying “no” when necessary is the best favor you can do for yourself.
Unfortunately a big thing I've had to accept over time is that all people are unintentionally extremely shallow. If you want respect, you have to start surface level. Good posture. Good clothing selection. Look like you have wealth and confidence. You get the deal. I've observed this so many times in many different situations.
For example, substitute teachers. When it's an old balded guy with casual clothing, everyone gives them a really hard time. When it's a sharp looking 20 year old who isn't a substitute teacher for a living, they're praised and given good willed questions.
I don't really think this is just a personal belief of mine or some dillusion I've fallen into. Every single day I see the same types of people and including myself get ridiculed, stepped on, ignored, used as a platform to jump off of (used as a part of a one sided "prank" or "joke" to make other people laugh), mocked in regards to stereotypes, etc.
To boil it down really I just feel like I can't start anywhere if I don't start working on how I present myself.
:( I hope you earn respect now ! have a good day💕
This is false. The most respected teacher in my high school was old, fat and bald. But he knew how to talk to a bunch of 16 and 17 year olds. You are right though about the people you see get ridiculed and things of that nature. The ones doing the ridicule are the ones you should feel sorry for because they are the ones who are lost... that's not some motivational quote, that's just the truth. Quit dealing with people that treat you in ways you described, they'll never change, and you'd be crazy to think they ever will. People laugh at me it seems almost every day... But I don't care about those people or their opinions so what do I care. Don't let a bunch of ignorant people in society bring you down. Your opinion is the only one that matters.
@@blacksnow5069 I always stick to not caring what people think, but no armor is inpenetrable. It's hard to brush off these people when it's everyone I meet. It makes me desolate.
Additionally it might just be where I live, but that's just another uncontrollable factor that I'd like to blame isn't it
i have exactly noticed that.there is a saying in my country that says : people's brain is in their eyes
that means their judgements are merely on looks
@@HardBloodNelza I would say not to take peoples comments too hard. I used to make fun of people as a kid up to like age 21 without realizing the impact it had, and apparently I lacked empathy too. Maybe that's why I'm getting so much payback.
tbh empathy and respect towards others is what society needs the most, i learned this working at a fast food restaurant. some people are super nice but most don't respect you at all and they do that because they know you can't do much about it since you're working and can't cause problems. i cried many times while working there.
also I love her voice it's soo soothing and charming!
🗣️🗣️
Soorry
Just hang in there
Have a good day:)
Please stop letting a holes make you cry. They are not worth the tears. Don't make them so important. Look at those rude, miserable, nasty people like they have two heads. They are not there to stay. Do your job and keep it moving.❤
I try to be nice to everyone. I believe it works both ways. I know all the names of my peeps/workers at the local grocery store and call them by name and always greet them with a smile. You just never know when things can turn around for you for the better. It is always kind to see a kind and familiar face who greets you, and you are greeted back.
Emphasize on the empathy… it’s like nobody understands that the other person in the situation or anyone in general has feelings these days. That’s something I bring myself back to often. Arguing with someone makes you lose respect for yourself && everyone’s feelings always end up hurt. Just went through a bad argument and said things I didn’t mean, really regret it. Everyone has feelings.
Gaining respect and not being taken advantage of is highly important in any friendship. I would like to share my experience since it's weighing on me.
I was friends with a person whom I used to talk a lot online, I thought we were great friends and everything seemed to be going too perfect. I was so nice to her and honestly OVER-NICE. It's not right. When we started offline classes I was constantly ghosted by her. She would rush off to her other friends in front of me, and the thing is I love her as a friend much more than she loves me. She would hardly give me respect and belittle me every time. Also I tried but I could not end my friendship with her. I can't ghost and she would always act like the victim if I tried to talk it out. Remember, if you don't want to be in a friendship NO ONE can force you. So, I have started distancing myself and I'm determined to detach myself from her.... Don't give in to everyone and stand up for yourself. You shouldn't settle for anything other than THE BEST. You deserve the best, know that. Start distancing yourself from people when you have tried everything and are still in the friendship which feels like a trap.
Thank u for sharing Ur experience this seems similar to the friendship I have and this was a kind of a wake up call for me so thank u
She sounds like a narcissist
Sounds just like the experience I had, everything was good when we were talking in online but when offline classes came , it left me questioning myself "how did I end up being friends with this person?" , I sat next to this person everyday and even if I wanted to distance myself all I can do is being silent and doing my work , she argued with me whenever she got the chance , trying to belittle me but once I limited my interactions with her , she asked me "are you not going to sit with me anymore?" , "Are you avoiding me?"
Like girl you argue with me 24/7 and you expect me to sit next you....🙄
Everyday going to school I was worried about my inner peace because of this person , it was hard for me to still be nice/good to her, that's when I thought this friendship is not good for either of us , now that our school days have ended, I hope I can make trustworthy friends and not someone who would make me question myself. I just wanted to share my experience too😣.
Thanks Jhiya. This has really helped me a lot. I'm actually facing this bad friendship thing right now.
Kinda sad reading how many of us have friends like this. Listening to the video it sounds a lot like the way my friend treated me recently.
For months now I ask myself were they real friends or user friends?! Ugh
I can’t seem to find my way thru it to communicate how wrong it was. Is this a friendship to salvage or let go? It’s been months and I remain silent on all fronts.
Eventually I have to deal with it but don’t know where to begin.
Through most of my life I’ve been too kind and would apologise often without being conscious of it. These days, I’m a lot more confident setting boundaries and getting my point across when things don’t go right. That way, it’s a way for me to sort out any problems that may arise without being too harsh. This video is great for anyone who’ve been through this and who’re grown tired of putting fake politeness all the time
I needed this I often get disrespected at work because I am the quiet type and I'm not confident enough. Some people tease me or make fun of me which really hurt.
I have the same problem.
And it's not just about doing fun, also are mean to me, when the oppotunity occurs. Almost all of my colleagues was mean to me, just few not, and we're a small company.
Even my new colleagues picked up on me, though they know how well I can do my job and I work here longer. I had respect at the start, later they got used to me, it changed. One of them even was picking me up about my health condition, which is not such a thing to make a fun of.
@@Isira7 Aww I'm so sorry to hear that. :( I know right. Jokes are suppose to be funny.
@Avo3adorable Nightcore Awww. I really appreciate that. Thank you so much!
@Avo3adorable Nightcore
If this goes to me as well..:
Well the problem is, I have now low self-confidence, because I experienced toxic relationships most of my life. And relationship with my recent partners was toxic as well, so it's hard for me now (new traumas, anxiety) to be confident. I almost got out of depressions (6 years of duration), but they helped it to get it almost back.
@@alyssadelacruz3096 Yeah, that's why I almost never do fun out of someone, bcs u never knows, how much it can touch, hurt someone.
I know what it's like to be too nice for your own good, because I've been through it. Sometimes being nice gets to the point where everyone starts to want something from you. You start to resent them and they only hit you up when they need something from you. They start to use your good nature against you.
I thought that accepting every single request from students meant that I had earned their friendship and loyalty, even though it was at the cost of my own well-being. Instead, I started to resent them and walk on eggshells around them, becoming burned out from the overwhelming requests. I was willing to help my classmates, but eventually they started to abuse my good nature and only liked me when they needed something from me.
I love the name Drina. It is a river in Croatia. I'm not sure what it means but I love the name . It is so exotic.
One of the best comments I've seen!
@@reneshay889 Thank you!
Hey do you have any advice for me? You seem to have found a great solution to this I am the exact same way as you and him 25-year-old male. I am super super reset for irritable I don’t trust anyone now because I feel that I have been taking advantage of too many times
@@matthewguillen2823I am 63 years old and spent my entire life being a people pleaser and people just "used" me. For YOUR sake ,please take care of yourself FIRST because no one else will. Also, watch closely to see who repays a favor and who just "uses" you.
I’m glad I’m finally doing all these things after 30. I’m almost 39 and very content w my self-respect and level of respect I receive. BOUNDARIES are so undervalued. Don’t take any sh*t from anyone, life is fragile and short! I love these videos. The narrator’s voice is so soothing too.
Remember to always respect yourself first everyone!
I hope an INFP does not see this.... they do not respect themselves at all.... 🥶
@@cyber8645 But why bro?
As long as you can point to some things worthy of that respect, great. Always work to better yourself to make that happen.
@@cyber8645 I’m an INFP and learning to respect and love myself. It’s hard but in the end it’s worth it 😊
@@mentallyunstableram good for you 😃
Rule # 1) never seek external validation, respect others people opinons...but deep down inside you shouldn’t really give a crap what other people think. Imo ofc
It's fine to respect others opinions. It's a big world and EVERYONE has an opinion about EVERYTHING...
Don't let someone else's opinion(s) control a DAMN thing in your own.
It's still a BIG world, with plenty of room for you to have and exercise your opinions as well as them and theirs... If they can't handle that, it's NOT your problem... It's only your problem when YOU can not handle that. ;o)
Have often been told I'm too nice,as many disrespect me,amd take me for granted.
I'm happy listening to this podcast and i have to apply it in my day to day life 😊😊
This is great advice. I wish I knew this years ago. I had always put myself last because that’s how I was raised. Manners/etiquette > your own feelings/wants e.g. if I were to visit a family friend, I was not allowed to ask for anything because that was RUDE. That only paved the way for me to be overly passive. By being too passive, I wouldn’t ever set my own boundaries and that led to me tolerating more than I should. Tolerating only wore me out and made me feel disconnected from people. The truth is, I was the one at fault. I should have respected myself and put myself first in many situations, but that’s life. You live and you learn.
Be careful with how much you tolerate of others. Set your boundaries. Your feelings and desires are important too. Don’t forget about YOU…
I’m practicing this. However, it is making me feel like I’m behaving like a b!+€& towards others and I find myself often struck with guilt. I remembered a phrase that went something like: whenever you stop pleasing others at the expense of yourself, you will experience resistance from the people around you. You may find yourself alone. Nowadays I’m more at ease with who I am.
Good day/evening!! I'm in the same situation as you are,but there's only one person that makes me feel guilty when I stand up for my own opinion. Can you give some advices, if you have? Thanks for reading!:>
I think there is a needed balance between being kind and coming off as how you put it - a bitch?! A lot of people say "No is a complete sentence". However, I think this is where the kindness factor comes into play. No may be a complete sentence, but I have had people publicly put me down by saying I was selfish when I told them no. After they made the comment I thought for a moment and asked them a question "Do you always say yes to everything you are asked to volunteer for? I would love to help out with the event, but I would not be bringing my A game to the event, if I can't bring my best work for you I have to respectfully decline." The people that were with us looked at me, then looked back at her waiting to hear her answer. I finally learned how to create boundaries without being bitchy, and was able to extricate myself from volunteer work with someone who was very judgemental towards me who had no right to be. It's all in how you approach each situation - I've learned the hard way a few times but have had the opportunity to look back and learn how I went wrong. I've dealt with catty women, bitchy women (who were proud of it and actually made a point to tell me that they were a bitch), back-stabbers, whiners and 22 year olds who acted like they were still 13 and bragged about it.......after dealing with these types of people I am able to pick them out of a line up and steer clear of them........does it make the pool of friends to choose from a lot smaller, almost non-existent?! Yes, yes it does, but what it leaves behind are the quality women you would be proud to call a friend.
That phrase is so true. I'm happy you find some peace for yourself :) I mastered the "always look confident" thing and I tell you, it's bullshit. People may respect me but afraid of me as well. I've got social phobia so I'm not very talkative. That, and the confident look always gives others the illusion that I'm snobby and look down upon them. I can't just blend into groups like before, there is always a real "alpha" who's trying to protect his/her reputation and starts to fight me and curse me out and it's terrible. I'm always alone because nobody dares to speak with me and I can't really start a conversation. Sometimes I really want to just return to my old, disrespected self but I don't know how to act not confident anymore lol
The “sorry” saying!
I never realized the connection to being respected. I need to stop putting that word into my daily interactions. Thank you for this!
I’ve always considered the ‘illusion’ you need’ to be liked be everybody a vulnerability that makes it difficult to set boundaries. First thing would be: respect yourself and ditch the idea everybody has to like you. Makes live much easier and people will respect you because you are really you and not a person that conforms to whoever he or she encounters.
I appreciate this channel so much, we need more people like you helping young people.
To whoever is reading this: If you’re going through something, know that every exit is an entry somewhere new and meaningful. Have a great day!❤️
Thank ya ! You have a nice day too :D
Very true.
Awww I appreciate that :)
Thank you. ❤
Thank you 🤗 enjoy your day too!!
Not only judgemental, some people are so nasty they don't even appreciate you when you're just opening your mouth to talk or chat over little things.
I can vouch for this. I am an anxious little potato and I muster up a lot of courage to greet my aunt.
I am tutoring her child which is why I was at their house for a while, and dude, I practiced greeting, went out of my comfort zone and greeted only to be ignored, I tried again and again, then I got scared of greeting, so I stopped.
Dude she like complained to my mom and grandparents that I dont greet her, and she even got mad at me.
So, I greeted her since they got pretty mad, dude, like listen, SHE PUT ON AN ANNOYED FACE WHENEVER I GREET HER.
This might not seem like a lot for people that are not socially anxious, but I got so ducking frustrated that I just hid whenever she or other people that are not chill arrive.
Teaching my 6 year old cousin there for about a year sucked, it sucked, not only does she not listen to anyone (which is why they hired me because they cant handle her and expects me a 13 year old to get her straight A's)
It sucked because my aunt is strict af, and says hurtful things when mad, and would literally target you.
They appreciate nothing I ever did, but looked for every hole that I can be considered irresponsible for. I cant say the whole story but it sucked and it upgraded my anxiety, downgraded my self respect and esteem. And upgraded my dermatilomania too.
Oh and I got my cousin straight A's with the cost of my mental well being and they still hate me and never even said thank you. Or even ducking said that I did a good job, like nothing. Just sent me home after yelling at me cuz they didnt like one output my cousin made which got her an A :/
But life is getting better since I am now away from there, and I hope they never hire me again because I am a legendary pushover that doesnt know how to say no.
I got called retarded so many times in that house. Im ducking 13, I got your kid straight A's and did a better job at teaching her kid.
Great, I just got reminded that they might hire me again since nobody can literally handle my cousin and the school year is about to begin again.
*searches up "How to say no"*
@@TitaniumTronic Did you talk about this to your parents? If you helped your cousin to straight As and after all you've done your aunt still treats you with disrespect I hope your parents understand you and don't force you to go to your aunt.
@@Vince-od5wr Unfortunately, no, I don't think they would take my word rather than my aunt's but its okay now, things gotten better, my anxiety is better, can sleep better, no usual breakdowns! And I'm not yet sure if they would re-hire me, if they offer, I'll try my absolute best to turn it down and completely refuse, its just not worth it even for the money
@@TitaniumTronic Great to hear you feel better!
@@Vince-od5wr Thanks! I really appreciate it
1.Respect yourself
2. Set boundaries
3. Understand u dont have to be nice all the time
4. Speak up
5. Dont over apologise
6. Display confidence body language :
Good posture. Eye contact. Head high. Hand gestures.
More great stuff! I was socialized to "be nice all the time" and it took me so long to realize it was not necessary! Self-respect is key to true happiness.
You don't have to be nice but it can
pay to be kind. You can STILL say NO & set boundaries using KINDNESS. It is STRENGTH. 💥💙
your voice works like a meditation for me, Thank you.
1 year ago I used to be shy and has less confidence about my favorite job. Now, I'm back with confidence and power! Thanks for all the videos you guys made. It made me understand people more as I am working as a customer service person.
that's great! How r u doing now
There are some things like over apologizing, tolerance and many others that can make us vulnerable in front of a society that is possessive and that wants to exploit and take advantage of us.
Yes, sad truth
The fact that you hit me in very angle like not respecting oneself, don't know how to say no, understand not to be nice all the time, not speaking up, don't over-apologize, avoid eye-contact, and cold glare. I was told I look angry all the time because of that and I need to change so much so thanks. I have no time for myself and my solitude so I feel burned out every day. This actually opened my eyes.
The narrator's voice is absolutely relaxing. I really like the way she talks so calmly and with some sweetness in her voice. ☺☺ I don't know how to explain...but...her voice is just perfect.
Edit: Thx ya so much guys for so many likes. Never even crossed 10 😅
same i think the same
Yeahhhhhh 😊
@@michelleyamazaki7118 ikr.
@@laniakea3393 it feels like im in heaven when hear her voice ngl its so calming😊
@@michelleyamazaki7118 IKR!! YOU GOT ME
I've always been the type to say 'I'm sorry' after someone explains a bad situation to me, but lately I've been catching myself b/c I realize there's no need. I didn't do anything and some people take offense if they don't want to be pityed. Now I just say 'that sucks' or 'I get it' to tell them I sympathize.
What a charming and soothing voice this lady has! I've stumbled upon a few videos from this channel, and I'd like to say that this is high quality content. It's fun, it's in-depth without being tiresome, lighthearted and very useful. I sometimes struggle in social situations, so these advices are a Godsend. You guys deserve all the best and much success 🙏🏼
Years ago, a girl I was seeing left me for someone else. When I asked her why, she began talking down to me, and saying that I misunderstood her and that she still wanted to be friends. When I pushed further, she turned it around, got angry, and said that it was really my fault for not trying hard enough in the relationship. At the time I felt guilty and said I guess she was right. Even though I stopped talking to her after that, for years I've regretted not standing up for myself more and stating my position as to why I didn't deserve to be treated like that.
100% did the right thing. Best to walk away in peace with people who see things like that.
"A wise man once said nothing at all."
When I was young, everybody treated me like a weakling, I was used as a punching bag and I was laughed at, heck I was even compared all the time.
All the time I used to think that I don't amount to anything. But then I started to better myself leave everything and everyone that makes me feel small, weak and stupid. I invested and cared for myself that I enjoyed what I'm doing, I started working out,
reviewing and keep on getting better.
Those who laughed at me, compared me to, punched me, bullied me I see them as the on who pushed me through to respect myself and be better.
PS: I hope everyone is okay, wish you the best and so you know, You are doing Great 😃
This is amazing ❤
@@karthikvijay5678 thank you ✨
For me opposite. Learned in therapy that I see people how they see me as monster it's how I was treated and with my family their way treatment even more like which made me go down hill even more. More and more. Only positivity letter be get better. Lesson. Not everyone wants to be come heartless monsters like those bullies. They knew what damage they do. They know that they are no different then people who belong in prison. Why would I care about me if no one cares about me. Healing starts with loving people. But society says otherwise for making an excuse to be evil bully.
I appreciate you sharing psychology knowledge like this that may come in handy. Not all people are given the better advices to deal with the world and people, like me who didn't have friends in highschool so I grew up with poor knowledge on how to deal with people. At least with videos like this, everyone can access knowledge we needed. It's like having a good friend that cares for you self-development and telling you advices.
I needed this. I always feel like I need to be nice to people even when they aren’t as nice. I realize even though I feel like this is the best option I still feel like crap inside and that I’m not truly okay.
❣u are a beautiful spirit. I believe in u. Somehow u will make ur world a brighter place. U got this!!
@@dwightdwight8855 thank you ❤️❤️❤️
It's really hard to find people who will respect me nowadays. Believe me, I know.
Same.
Me too 😞
Damn right ✋🙄😤
Perhaps saving this video and looking at it when you need to will help you. That’s what I do sometimes when a video is helpful, especially when I’m working on that specific part of myself. I hope it helps if you try it, man
Look in the mirror and you'll find someone who respects you.
im a completely different person than i used to be, i used to be really introverted and shy, but now i find myself being really relatable to a lot of popular/well-respected kids, but by now i've already set my reputation so low that it is almost impossible to break out of who people think i am into who i really am.
i realized this month that i need to start being honest about what i'm feeling. it's already had a huge positive effect on my life. you don't need to keep toxic ppl in your life. you don't have to feel guilty. you're not doing them any favors in life by enabling their behavior
At the moment, I’m being framed for making a harmless joke, and all my friends are turning against me. This was great advice, maybe I’ll find friends that will treat me better
hopefully ^^
they arent real friends if they cant even take a joke... and forgive u for it
@@kristyplayzz4095 good point!
i hope you will find new friends soon that are actually good people :)
My friends (the very VERY short list) often scold me for sick, twisted, and demented outbursts of humor... They know I'm kidding around, and that I'm contrarian by rote... SO they scold me for it and then we move on... The even reserve actual scolding for things that are actually upsetting or worse, not just the "nature" of the gag or joke...
BUT we always just move on... called out and acknowledged and done...
Anyone who treats you worse than that isn't fit to be a friend... Simple as that. Walk away. Only when they realize there is NOTHING they can hold over your head do they start to acknowledge that YOU DO HAVE CONTROL.. just as much as they do.
It sucks sometimes, but sometimes you have to walk away. Sometimes you have to INSIST that it's "the end"... and that's that. You can't be afraid to write someone off (figuratively)... Only when you actually exercise the brakes to a stop do you actually have the control to reach a stop, THE single most important control on anything.
The one with the brake-lever in hand is the one in control. It ONLY goes as far as s/he allows. ;o)
I am always nice to people (or so i believe) i dont talk much, i dont critic them, but they keep treating me badly because of my looks... we live in a cruel world...
We don't live in a cruel world, it's just that the people in it can be cruel. Don't surround yourself with cruel people, distance yourself from them. Sometimes it's hard and sometimes it's impossible but it can't hurt to atleast try.
If you're really having a hard time with people that you cannot distance yourself from you should combat it by telling them that you know they're treating you like this because of your looks (if that is the case). To cause the most impact on them you should say it in a disrespectful manner because they obviously don't respect you.
Same, I'm too nice which makes me an easy target for bullying. Bad people always get their way and it makes me fucking sick of it, lol
I've found there's always some level of discomfort and offense "required" to set boundaries, but it can still be "respectful" to our self and the other person.
Comfort is the confusion with living a happy life, getting strong with discomfort and speaking up is indeed a key to a happier more genuine life that people will naturally have to respect more than being super defensively comfortable. I realized this myself, still learning but I've come a ways for sure. I find training the "deliberate speaker" self helps. To go deeper into a mental calm flow... say the hard words... say them because they are more true than the anxiety. The deliberate speaker deepens the voice, slows down, speaks a decent heavy volume, makes solid laser eye contact, shows more respect and reality than ever before. A little bit of bite / growl is necessary to prevent disrespect. People test at places like a job, hmm can they take it, a little bite back - of course. Without a little hardness, bullet-proofness, and too much being nice and soft, there is inevitable disrespect even from nice people. I realized it's actually in human nature more than people just being cruel. From here, it's ultimately deep in the self that's holding back the self with unresolved insecurities to be too nice. Society itself has gotten pretty soft, that's not a good thing, but it's not impossible to regain the balance with some habit changes - best is always starting on the body. Like David Goggins, his story is incredible - bullied, really soul crushed, massive lack of self respect, tons of failures, he found through his increase of action in his body was the key that turned it all around. The brain is designed for motion and physical activity and works absolutely best with consistent activity and this is a huge key to the softness today - extreme comforts, the most comfortable humanity has ever been, but at a great cost as well. Motion is the means, and the brain adapts and grows tougher with it. Meditation is also an exercise of discipline, dopamine detox, reset, healing.
I'm not shy or non talkative, but one of my biggest pet peeves is when ppl take advantage of my kindness. You don't understand how many times of gotten "you don't seem like the kind of person to argue or do this and that your too nice". Yes I am very nice, that doesn't mean I can't stand up for myself or speak my mind smh 🙄
People who dont respect themselves will never respect you. Cant give what they dont have.
Exactly Stay away from those people who do NOT respect you. You don't need them. Only of course if they are family, you will have to work hard on it, but sometimes it is best to avoid.
0:14 MOST OF THE TIME*
Fr everyday for me
7. Go get your goals/ ambition achieved. Turn your dreams into realities and those that looked down on you will look up to you.
My mother: * quite literally asks me to do her a favour *
Me: * says no *
Mother: *You UNGRATEFUL child, you don't even want to help your mother* .
Our parents aren’t like others, they deserve to be respected. Although it’s easier said than done.
Me: helps mom for alot of things
Next minute she asks for something and I say no:
Your mom goes a LOT during the day, she has to take care of the whole house. Speaking of the house, even her family members. She does hard work EVERDAY and we, as a child get exhausted by doing chores in 1 hour, so imagine how she would feel, doing this everday. So it's better to even help her sometimes, you know to respect her
Because guilting some to help them always works out so well. 🙄
@@plaidy. my mom literally doesn’t take care of the house it’s dirty if we don’t clean and she doesn’t do anything but watch tv all day
1- Respect yourself first
Give us the respect we deserve.
Self love, self focus, self improvement.
By living in present
On a way of thinking higher yourself.❤
Things happen because of your mistakes?
Learn to say NO without feeling guilty.
Key to healthy relationship is not let others to take advantage of you.
& Make sure you get what you pay for in life.
You are enough to make happy yourself and not others.
2- Set clear boundaries -
You can keep your POV in a kind way.
3- You don't have to be nice alll the time-
When you feel like you have to at expense of your own happiness it's not a good idea.
& Don't feel guilty about it.
You won't be doing everything in your friends favour. Right?
4- Speak up-
Just because you are shy it doesn't mean others interrupt u.
Use names, eyr contact, hand gestures,.
5- Don't over apologize -
Quit the habit of saying sry .
Your words should carry weight especially in apology.
1- If you aren't doing a favour - DON'T APOLOGIZE
2- opposing opinion - don't apologise.
6- Confident body language -
Show that you can't be pushed around.❤
"Respect yourself" is not always that easy. When you've got difficulties with your self-esteem during your whole life, you can't just shift it to self-respect.
In reality the majority of people have a certain amount of insecurity about themselves and that's actually a very normal thing.
What the majority of people can manage, is to give other people the impression they are confident. In reality they are much more insecure than they expose towards others.
It seems to me people should become more aware of this. For me personally it gives me confidence to know I am not crazy to have my insecurities: it makes me being human just like everybody else. And from that point I started to grow genuine self-respect.
This is so true! And really comforting to acknowledge...
I really needed this video right now. Thank you Psych2Go! Always remember that just because the other person is nice, doesn't mean you can't say no. Respect your boundaries.
what i do:
-just be respectful
-when you greet someone just say a simple hello and put a smile
-be an authentic person
Pls make a video on how to stop overthinking/ over-analyzing something. I guess it is the biggest mental health issue.
We have a videos on overthinking:
1) 10 Signs You Might Be Overthinking ruclips.net/video/NU9ajgqYag8/видео.html
2) 7 Things Overthinker Can Relate To ruclips.net/video/xDhySrr9v4k/видео.html
True...Agree...I am going through it as well.
Step one: be a wizard.
Step two: if you are not a wizard, be a Lannister.
Step three: if neither a wizard nor a Lannister, be extroverted.
Step four: don’t be an analytical, emotionless, intellectual stimulation addict, and introverted, high functioning sociopath.
Sherlock, is this you?
@@oppenbot1717 My dear Watson, I am glad to see that you have been using your deduction abilities to the fullest, I am surprised that you have not neglected those skills after running away with Miss Mary.
Sometimes I wish you would at least try to show some manners. And I've told you a million times to use your own laptop if you want to show your oh so breathtaking intellect to the world! Have you at least bought milk?
@@oppenbot1717 is this sherlock season 5 that we never get or an episode that never aired? 🤣
High function is just a marketing term to make people feel good. It’s nowhere in the DSM
the opening line describes my life perfectly "taken advantage of , no one respects you, no one listens to you, people try to talk over you or walk over you"
You left out "put them in a headlock and give them noogies til they agree" although on second thought you kind of covered that at 3:18
Locker shovings are equally effective imo.
This video helped me finally realizr everything I'm doing wrong. No wonder I feel disrespected constantly. I'll try these for sure
I like to start off as myself, who is kind and considerate, and takes responsibility for any wrongs I've made.
I'm much better at recognizing the people who accept me as I am and have integrity, and the ones who choose to take advantage of my kindness.
It's amazing how much they'll blow up at you when they realize you see exactly what they are. The switch to hostility is kind of amazing.
For everyone: don’t disrespect others
im sitting here crying and this is exactly what i just need.
thank you, yt algorithm.
I have suffered my whole life from this. Now I'm learning to be assertive.
Keep going in the direction that gives u peace. Love yourself and those who love u like this was going to be the on lo y chance u ever got to do so. Because it is. Now. Love u now. And love them right now. U got this. Be proud of ur achievements my friend. U have come so far. Pass along some positive energy. Thank u Sir 💟😎💟
Disrespected: the classic
Maybe that’s why I went all throughout high school and ( and pretty much thereafter) without being invited to a party or dating even though I graduated in the top 1% of my class: because of my shyness.
I wish I had been taught this series earlier in life
How are you now? R u more confident,
Not really
This video was in my watch later list.. so I saw this after 1/2 year
It's incredible how much I changed from relating to someone who gets walked all over to someone who is confident☺️
Special tip: something that helped me become confident in myself was opening up to my family and taking mask off infront of my friends and exercise (not kidding) so try if these work for you😉👍🏻
i don't need people to respect me, i show them the same respect that they do to me, that's how im chill with the people around me. Whoever shows no respect to you from the start you don't need that person, the best thing to do is to learn how to write off unnecessary people out of your life
1. Respect yourself first
2. Set clear boundaries
3. Understand you don't have to be nice all the time
4. Speak up
5. Don't over apologize
6. Display confident body language
:)
Love this Channel ❤️ they literally knows what people will watch and that's what a psychology channel should be.
I feel that I just get disrespected at work a lot. I know that your boss has to be in command and you have to take it with a grain of salt naturally, but I don’t feel that I get the respect I deserve (I even feel weird saying I deserve respect 😅). Anyway, I’m a horse wrangler and I have to take care of horses needs and take at least 4 trail rides that are an hour long every day. My boss Avery is fine but she snaps at me in particular a lot. She doesn’t do it to anyone else but me. I’m new and am getting the ropes of everything and I get tons of compliments by several people a day which builds my confidence. An old man walked up to me and said “thank you for sharing this experience with me and my family. You made the long, tiring, travel here worth every minute.” I never felt so good, I started to burst into tears later about it. Bust my boss will shout at me in front of guests as if I don’t know what I’m doing, when I do. It makes me feel stupid and belittled. My horse wasn’t going anywhere after kicking him and slapping him on the butt. He was not in a good mood and Avery storms up, grabs him and yells “GET CONTROL OF YOUR HORSE AND YOURSELF BELLA!” Everyone looked at me with a shocked look and like they say something crazy happen. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed. Like I had no control of anything. I felt so small. She still yells from across fields at me when she’s not doing her part and she sends me away from her whenever I’m around. Today the vet came to check the horses and as soon as I would walk over she would just make me unsaddle horses, clean all the horse tack, grain the horses, and other stuff while her friends were sitting there doing nothing. I felt like I was just being taken advantage of. I know she’s supposed to tell me what to do but I wonder, can’t she reprehend me in private? I want to build my self confidence and try to be the bigger person. My new years revolution was to not be a push over anymore or just being taken advantage of. I know it’s work but it just doesn’t make me feel good about myself, and I love wheat it do, she just makes me not want to be there. So I’m going to try some of these tips for a while and I’ll be back to see how it goes! 🙏🏻👍🏻
It took me 26 years to respect and love myself enough to start actually properly defend my own boundaries, admit to myself that I'm bisexual, and learning to take care of my own well-being.
Combine those with a couple near death experiences i had before, and that has cascaded into me radiating a kind of loving warm confident energy everywhere i go, that other people respect enough not to abuse or attack anymore.
( ˘ ³˘)♥
Everyday I wake up with butterflies and warmth in my chest just to be alive, sober, and well.
To have such a balanced life full of great things, a boyfriend and awesome great new friends around me 🥰🦊
That's one helluva climb from being a self-hating dope addict fantasizing about going to the nearest train tracks and stuck in a toxic relationship for 4 years.
That's exactly why everyone should learn to respect themselves enough to set boundaries and learn that you can't always please everyone. That's how you attract abusers and people who just want to take advantage of you.
yep ALWAYS think to yourself, "i'm not a pushover"
This is unbelievably helpful, thanks from the bottom of my heart
5:52 // apologizing can be the result of trauma.
Apologizing is instinct to me. I apologize even when people wrong me. And I know it's not good or healthy, but it's not like I want to constantly feel guilty and anxious. CPTSD as a result of lifelong trauma. So, self-blame and guilt is wired into me. I've gotten better over the years, but sometimes, I get intense urges to apologize to someone for the mere thought that I may have somehow hurt them. Even if we never spoke and it's hell. I can't always control it; messing up always held a high weight and consequences.
I don’t really care about other people’s respect.......but I won’t tolerate abuse
Exactly
And while doing so, keep control of your emotions and treat everyone with kindness, almost like a friend. It’ll make you seem more welcoming and make others rather fond of you. I can tell you first hand that it works.
You don’t have to bottle things up, just have someone on the side to talk to when you need. If you lose your cool around strangers or enemies too often they won’t have as much respect for you and maybe will even find your weaknesses to bother you with. Just be clear with everyone from the start.
Also be as truthful as you can but choose your words carefully. They’ll learn that you’ll be trustworthy. :)
Respect is a two way Street,if you want respect,you have to give RESPECT......