Well my dear; Break ups are just that, about separation , Losing is mental if you still Will know we're their aŕe. Moving on is normal the relationship is broken.
Only time they don't want you to move on is if you still got something they wanna use you for... Other than that they'll drop you like a hot potato... STAY STRONG EVERYONE
Yes, the narc I had a relationship with only came around for sex. At the end there was the total emotional disconnect...Just sex. When I finally broke up with him, he said that he did love me - he just couldn't show it. Lies, lies, lies.
It does depend!! I made sure my person did not see it coming. I changed none of my behavior. He told me how spineless I was, how I was using him, how much he wanted me gone, all the way til the end. We were together 21 years. I made my move on a day I knew he went to the casino, hired movers, recruited friends, boarded my dogs for the day and basically snuck out like a thief in the night. He came home to me and the dogs gone. Its been just over 15 months and have zero regrets. For the record, he did not Hoover or try to find me. He only asked for me to return the dogs. Months later he did reach out to my parent's to return some things I had left behind. I have my own home now and he is living with the ghost of me in the house we shared for 15 yrs. Not sure if he has a new partner/supply. Don't care, either.
Good for you to finally make that leap! I am in at 5yrs and yesterday it was like the last straw- he couldn't take me giving back the same crap he gives me
I’m so happy for you. Stay strong. I think asking for the dogs from you and then your parents was a baiting or kinda hoovering. Maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know.
Yea t looks like they say the same things ! It’s like they went to the same narcissistic school! My ex was saying exactly the same things how horrible human being I am user and you can fill blanks………. X
@@annav61I agree! The narcissistic school is real, it's like they ALL do the SAME things in varied forms and that what makes it so much easier to spot them!
They do nothing but project and disconnect from u and blame u and its the most hurtful mind bending life changing abuse I've ever experienced. Just. Walk. Away.
I was never with this one but I thank God.. towards the end he just switched. Jealousy, intimidation.. . It came out of nowhere . Then said he felt sorry for me . All I could do was lol because like I told him , I know who I am lol.
Oh for sure. New supply was groomed already. And he should have known better. I should have known better too but he saw how it went down with me and the other person before me.
A relationship with a narcissist sent me to my rock bottom a few years ago. It was the first time I fully trusted after trauma. I thought I "knew" him because I worked with him professionally for over a year before I finally gave in to his requests for a date. I fell hard and fast. I found out a lot of dark secrets, but it was too late. He was addicted to the chaos that he continued to entertain with his estranged wife, and I am very much not into the drama. I gave him the benefit of the doubt for too long. He sucked me in, and then he just dropped me in my most vulnerable state. It broke me entirely. I eventually was able to climb out of the deep hole I was in and work on myself intently for the next couple of years. I've been on a path of enlightenment, and I'm working to become emotionally strong. I finally love myself, and I will never fall for that again. The book that saved my life was Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Dispenza. I wouldn't be here without it.
I was with a bio polar narcissist for 8 years. We recently broke up. I can finally honestly say I am so happy! He will never change ! I am ready to be happy and live my life without being put down, cheated on, talked about and stabbed in the back, and expected to do only what he wants. He is honestly psychotic. He believes his own lies. And No one can do anything better than him! And I never have to deal with that ever again! Thank You Jesus!
I disengaged from the narcissist for my own emotional well being. I noticed the roller coaster and I wanted him to disconnect so I could make my move far away from him. The disconnect was the Deliverance!
I know feel so mad at myself for letting someone treat me this way. I wanted to make it work so much and I have learnt the hard way never to let my boundaries be repeatedly disrespected ever again.
I was ready for most of my ex narc moves, I had educated myself. I REALLY did not care because I saw him as evil. I know now that nearing the end I actually wanted him to know I did not want him. I think he did know because he acted out on the regular, outbursts etc..... with fake insistence on maintaining the addictionship. I planned my day of walking away. I was most angry about being targeted in the first place. My exit 3 years ago was poetic, I was just "gone" I really hope I shook his total foundation. Remember me please, fool, you can't keep a good woman down😊 I now advocate for DV abuse survivors who want OUT❤
You...Are...AWESOME! Thank you for being there for others that have been/ are going through this nightmare. The value of your experience, using pain for good.
So at the end of the final time (which was about 14 months ago) it was completely different than any other time. He devalued me so bad that I nearly went into blackout mode. I told him something has died in me. Our connection was finally broken. It doesn’t feel the same. Our dynamic is different. He didn’t really believe me but because he realized my words were short he knew he lost me. So the phone calls slowed down and we would speak once or twice a week but I noticed he would try to talk for a long time. I’m like nah I don’t want to talk anymore. He called and I finally didn’t answer. I blocked him on all platforms. It has been a blessing!!!
20 years of marriage and on 22 days of silence. I am finally able to be ok with leaving. There will be no closure for me and I am trying to deal with that part of living with a narcissist.
Wow! I thought 16 years was hurtful to be cut off. I am being strong, though. I am ready now. Still hurtful, still resentful, still raw. Mad at myself because ALL the red flags were there at the beginning. I ignored them because he "love bombed" me from day 1.
Thank you Lee for putting yourself out there and affirming the victims of narcissism. Your knowledge helps us to better understand how a narc thinks and how to preserve our own peace and make better choices for ourselves.
I'd like to second that. Thank you, Lee, for being concerned about the damage that narcissists do, for taking account of yourself, more, for being a beacon of hope. I do not know personally a single narcissist that will take account of themselves. I do not know of a single narcissist, that says a genuine "sorry". I feel, in the work you are doing, you are making a difference & saying a genuine SORRY. One:LOVE.
You are a shining example of how you can flip from choosing negative attention to choosing positive attention. Lee, you can testify how different it feels and help more narcissistic people to overcome all that insecurity in a sustainable way. Love what you do!
I love the clarity of this. When we were discussing moving back to the 919, I discovered he was looking for rooms to rent on craigs list WHILE we were supposed to be prepared to move back to our home state. This was the SECOND time I was on the discard route. Don't fall for it, don't give a second chance, in a matter of a few years it's going to be a repeat, and once is bad enough!
I have been dealing with a narcissistic relationship I had to end it the physical and mentally abusive he was bad and needed help omg the lies and manipulation lord help him
Woe you are spot on with this one! This man gave me no attention at all. He literally acted like I was not there! He would speak to the dog and gave me the silent treatment for weeks on end. When I returned the same energy he gave to me he couldn't take it and drank himself to death! What a strange man! Why he didn't just leave if he had no more use for me is because he had no one to replace me. No one including me has no more use for him as well. Sheesh! What a nightmare!
The example of the untouched grass... I felt this! Thank you for sharing this perspective. It's interesting because my ex narc used until the end still lines like 'I love you' or 'I know you are the one for me' but everything in my body sensed that there were no emotions behind it at all. It even came to the point that he talked me into thinking that I was so much wounded I couldn't allow his love in. Wow, haha. I just felt all the way that there was no love from his side in the first place. How to let something in which is not there? Luckily I am out of the situation and educating myself. Your channel gives a lot of insights, God bless you.
I’m glad she’s gone. 5 years for the sake of protecting the kids from her and denying myself in all ways. I hope she never tries to come back because I’m going to hurt her feelings.
I am in a 30 year relationship with a person who now tells me stories of things we have done together in the singular. He tells me the story as if he had done it while he was single. This is my wake up call, I am beginning to believe that he is a narcissist
Hey Lee! I've been listening to your videos for about a year now and you have taught me so much about being in a relationship with a narcissist! I just want to thank you and let you know that I appreciate what you're doing for people like me cause I was literally about to have a mental breakdown and end my life! I had no idea what a narcissist was and thought that I was literally going crazy! This man turned out to be a monster and traumatized me for life! It was hard leaving , even ended up having a mild stroke 2yrs ago and on the streets but I did it ... I FINALLY left him! So thank you! God Bless you and yours!
I have already disconnected from him, and don't believe him when he tells me he loves and wants to be with me only. Yet he treats me like he hates me. He projects and tells me I am the narcissistic and trying to be a victim. I just stay quiet and let him talk all he wants, and then boom I block him lol. He gets so angry when I do that hahaha, hey, his fault he wont leave me alone and just talks to me to complain to me about me. Go figure hahaha. Thank you for you sharing this and your vids - they have helped me be strong- and I truly believe he is talking to others and when I do it his top flips. I just shrug it and go no contact, I feel like I no longer care. I did let him go a few times , leaves me alone for 2 days and then somehow hooks me back int o the toxicity, is nice for 4 days and then back to being himself.
“Talks to me to complain to me about me.” Before, I used to just sit there and listen smh. Now when he starts in, I say, Okay, I’m not going to sit here and listen to this anymore and I’ll start to leave or hang up. Then he’ll change the subject lol.
OMG, same. Told him to call his friends to bitch about me and blocked him. The only way to get him to focus on his life and bring some peace baxk into mine.
@dominikamestrovic7663 I am like , not going to expose my poor ears to your complaints fool . I act out because of you! I end the call and block. And enjoy the silent treatment. He hates that, I love it!! 🤣🤣 Hey, you are getting back what you give me, is my new motto.
That makes a lot of sense why after a day of the break up he told me he already was talking to someone new. So I'm like ok he's probably been talking to her for a couple weeks. Telling me I have to change 🤣
I held on for so long. They replaced me with our child. They asked me for an open relationship a year after our child was born. I tried to be understanding. When they finally left, it was all about how I'd never been a good husband, how I never tried, never did anything more than the bare minimum. I blamed myself for everything for well over a month, and I shot down anyone trying to tell me she sounded like a narcissist. The more of these videos I watch, the more my eyes are opened.
In my experience, like a whiny brat. WAHHHHHHH! *sniff *sniff "I did so much for you (that never happened) and you hurt me so horribly (also never happened, unless in reverse)". WAHHHHHHHH Of course, he was mixing up things with his boatloads of ex's while he was so drunk he couldn't even remember his own address. Sad, yet made me giggle when I look back on it.
education is your best defense against one, the more you know the better. was in a off, and on 8yr relationship with what i refer to as a classic narc. did not truly know what a narc was until months after i kicked her to the curb, only then being able to put a name to her flavor of crazy.
This is 100% true I went through this. When I would go over to my ex narc house it’s like he was totally bored that I was even there with him. Disconnected and uninterested like he did not really want me to be there.. Probably because he already had his supply lined up and couldn’t text her while I was there at his house. These videos are so helpful! Thank you 🙏🏽
Hes so back and forth. We don't really tell each other a lot anymore, but he still talks about our someday house , and plans he has for later in the year.... .... That confuses me so bad.... Bc he does all the disconnecting stuff but then talks like this. Ugh....
One day he expressed his undying love and could never "quit" me the very next morning he flipped out! Accused me of sleeping with other men and how I am the problem. Blamed me for everything. Full on tantrum. Yelling how he is done with me and to get the "f" away from him. I simply stood there and then responded with a simple "thank you". I went a step forward and blocked him from everything. Unfortunately, we work together. I don't speak to him nor do I react to hearing his new exploits or recycled ones. Can it be safely said that the game is over?
Yeah this is someone I do not want to be with., because this is so toxic. They will never be with one person but for a split moment. Thank you for your knowledge.
Actually, it’s a two way street. Your love or caring for them fades away. You lose all respect for them. I’m not emotionally falling apart, I like being alone anyway. I don’t need to worry about him anymore, because he was so selfish.
I told the narc that if I were to ever meet anyone that’s even close to his character that I’d run so fast that I might just fall & skin my knees but I’d suck it up & be ecstatic in the process!😆
I'm still struggling to determine if he was an actual narcissist or bipolar (&/or boarderline)!?! He has narcissist traits but he literally would flip flop between "loving me 1 day and hating me the next". He was the same person as he was in the beginning throughout the whole relationship but a switch would turn on and off .. at the least he's toxic 🤷♀️
In the end it doesn’t matter what his label is. What matters is how he treated you. Did he lie and cheat? Did he manipulate you? Did you constantly feel lost and sad? Toxic is toxic. And no one deserves to be treated that way.
I think the difference between BPD and NPD is the intention. BPD is often they don't actually want to do this and they know they hurt people and dont want to. NPD can be on purpose to hurt hurt somebody or to play with their mind.
@@romyroos4823 honestly I don't think he intends to do half the shit he does but then can't take it back or take responsibility for it .. but its so hard to tell sometimes 😞
I said to my ex just before she walked out of my life. Did you love me when you first met me? "she said yes. I then said, "Do you love me for who I have become now?" she said no. I thought that is very interesting because I have become the person you groomed me to be. Interestingly enough, I had become a mirror image of her. It told me just how much she doesn't like herself. I am feeling blessed that I got out of the marriage in 4 years. It is so sad that people can be like that. 😢
Im sure othwrs may feel or think like i do...What actually makes you different is the accountability factor. Evildoers has none. They aren't remorseful. They are committed daily to doing you wrong. I believe God can change the hearts of those who are willing to accept their short comings. Its so easy to point out the flaws in others...the hard part is acknowledging your own flaws. What you are actually doing is denouncing Satan's strong hold over your life. That is a great step. You are helping others. God sees your heart. Be blessed.
I appreciate this man so much.. For being a narcissist and to learn how to have insight of any kind but especially to this level is amazing to me. Change and growth can be hard for the average person but this man just amazes me. Wish all narcs could see there is a way to change. Maybe theyd experience happiness for the first time.
My mother replaced me with my ex and paid for his lawyer and told him to get sole custody. Then she told my ex he could move in with her with my kids. I got temporary sole custody and 2 years into my divorce. I have had no contact with my mother for 18 months. So much more peaceful. I was so afraid I couldn't make it on my own, but that was just my mom talking in my head.
Ahhh so that’s why. He already had found another supply! My spouse of 28 years filed a divorce and I knew he shifted and told my daughter he’s found someone else to be with. And later found out that that was the case. It was his ex wife. I was dumbfounded. She has her work cut out for her. They were married long enough for her to know what his real issue is. I actually think she is one as well which is why they didn’t stay together long.
He tried to tell me that if I don’t put up with crap” (my words), I also miss out on intimacy. Where is this intimacy he talks about? He took it away already. Apparently because he just likes peace, and I’m not providing it, which translates as I address his bad behavior whereas he want to do and say what he wants.
I'm trying to peacefully get out of a relationship with a narcissist. We've been together for eleven years and have four children together. I definitely know that he's not going to co-parent with me. I've tried everything I can to explain why it's over. Every day after an argument he acts as if nothing is wrong. He always says yesterday is gone get over it. It's just toxic.
I feel like I'm the only one going through this. Having kids with a narcissist and trying to PEACEFULLY leave. At this point I just want happiness and peace. It's all I think about now days
@@saxyg1876 you’re not alone I’m in the same exact boat he completely changed he hasn’t said it but he might say I see you as a different person and I agree I can’t be with you. Lol but yep same he’s not overreacting big I feel a storm brewing
You can do it Ladies!! If God can deliver me from my Egypt(a narcissistic partner)he can do it for you. I walked away 4/1/23❤ You are strong You are loved You deserved to be loved correctly You deserve to be heard You deserve respect Love yourself enough to walk away from what's hurting you! It'll be hard, start building your courage now. You can do it beautiful. The first part of healing is waking away. And if nobody told you, I love you ❤😊
Mine lasted for 4 months as well. And healing is so hard. This short 4 months affected my life for for one year straight. The worst thing is that they think that the grass is always greener on the other side and that there was no any fault on their side. Then they repeat the same scenario with someone else again. My ex within a year after a breakup repeated scenario 3 times. What a broken ppl they are…
My narc and I divorced after 3 years of marriage. And I heard he’s trying to work his way back to his ex wife before me. They were married for 35 years. And I know for a fact that she caught hell majority of the marriage. She had to deal with his drugs habits and cheating with different women. And he supposed to be a minister. She divorced him. And now she’s considering on taking him back. OMG!!!! what the freaking hell- narc are such damn snakes. You have to be strong chic--damn. There’s no way I would let him come back after all those miserable years the drugs, cheating and a newly divorce with me the damn ink still wet on the paper just a month ago. She letting him slither his behind back in her life. All I can say is sister you got to be desperate. Even if yall do have children - they are grown. I hope you keep his ass away from me dammit. I mean that. He’s been blocked since our divorce 2-3 months ago and still trying to contact me on my job. No I’m not answering the phone. And she probably doesn’t know it. Im sure he’s calling me to see if he has mail at my house - why it wasn’t changed when he moved a year ago. Don’t worry i will put return to sender on it. He will forever be blocked and his family too. The red flag was he was still talking to her the ex and the woman he cheated on her with during my damn marriage. I didnt know until I checked his phone. Narc dont like parting they like for the doors to stay slightly open to go back. That’s when I decided we are done. He filed and my lawyer expedited the divorce before he changed his mind for the third time. Ladies and gentlemen find some self esteem don’t be a fool. Life to short. It feels so good to be free from that demon. Thank you Lord for savng me.
Thank you. This explains so much of my ex wife’s behaviors at the end of our marriage. I couldn’t understand it until now. I’ve long wondered if she’s a narcissist and the more evidence that I’m seeing, the more that I believe it’s true. And this explains a lot!
The NARC I had the utter displeasure of being with for 5 yrs acted this way all throughout the relationship when they would get called out for cheating all the time or just being disrespectful. So Ive already had a preview of this therefore im immune to it, hell im HOPING he remains this way and not stalk me. I have used this "act" to MY advantage many times! I transmute energy very well.
On last Saturday he was love bombing me on fb and Sunday I was blocked and he said he didn't love me or like me. That I dnt see him as a man. I told him to file for the divorce asap.
Yes you are absolutely right, I’m living with one now he puts me down all this time, holla at me like I’m a child etc…. But he is about to be gone on god all it do is take away from you
A lot of people say that if you leave them and go no contact first, that the think about you all the time but i don't really think that. Mine had supply the whole time we were together. He was hitting me harder and harder each time. So im not in denial anymore
Currently going through it now most of all lasts 2 days he saying i hv no conversation or i dont motivation no more when i have done so much but they have patterns i see over the years i learn to be quiet now its a problem he always has to be right
I got discarded in Spain on holiday 1st day so he could go f around.I got another hotel then he started begging me to come and hold him while he slept....ummm nope !
Thank you.. I am dealing with a grand smear campaign by a Super Narc. Passive aggressive cunning manipulator that acts like butter wouldn't melt in its mouth. My ex went back to old supply and now I am the villain. Here's hoping logic works on whomever that serpent tongue hits.
I am also experiencing this hell with my step father, a serious smear campaign involving the police and other authorities. He is always plotting and is very cunning.
Hey man I really appreciate you doing this. It takes a lot to admit it first of all. And secondly you are putting awareness out there. God bless you and yours
People like you are so invaluable!! To actually say that this can happen in a parent- child relationship. The way they disconnect, and never reconnect with you the same way, bcz they have replaced you with someone else, say a sibling. They have, as you said, deactivated the soft ware, closed the account. Precious words, never before said! Thank you!!!
Defintiely experienced the narcissitic discsrd in all ots forms. After I stayed.with him tthrough drug abuse, infidelity, chronic unemployment, etc etc., but at the end of he relatuonship, HE saw me different. Go figure. Twenty+ years and I deserve better.
My ex told me after 43 years of me being his doormat that he never loved me. He said "I don't know what love is". This explained a lot of past behaviors.
I’m just now experiencing this phase. Im a wreck. This pain is excruciating! He is someone I don’t know. He has totally turned mean ice cold on me overnight. I’m lost. I have no friends no self esteem deep depression anxiety crying wondering ruminating. I feel like I’m trash that’s been thrown out as he is driving down the freeway. I’m hurting and desperately want this pain to end. I had no idea this pain encompasses emotional mental and physical. This is like nothing I’ve ever gone through period. Hurting extremely bad.
Just exactly my actual situation and yes I do I ask him to leave because that’s what he want me to do. Is about 2 months already I miss something some sometimes but I don’t know what exactly is. 8 years married and we split up 7 times before this one.
You’re actually scaring me because I relate with some things you talk about with disconnecting and looking for another partner. But I only started doing that after she was the one that constantly made false accusations, shifted the blame, and took no accountability. So I was just so confused and emotionally drained each time that happened that I also slightly disconnected because I didn’t know what to do. But before we had our first major conflict, actually I’d say second one cause then I started to see the pattern, was then when I started to really question and just couldn’t feel the same again right away.
You are so awesome and so very intelligent regarding narcissistic behavior. Your short videos have literally saved my life!!! Thank you so much for teaching me all of the things /truths regarding narcissism! You are so informative and I watch at least one of your videos each day!!! Thank you again!!!
It’s crazy. I look back over old conversations on apps, especially from last year and early this year, and I can clearly see the digs and little insults she would throw at me. She definitely treated me completely differently at the end than during the first couple of years, and using the same method, I can now see that the mask was slipping even then. Not much, but it was. The new grass isn’t new grass. Just grass that, as far as she says, she hadn’t been on in 15 years (figuratively AND literally), but who even know how true that is. I know she was talking to him our entire relationship over FB and probably other venues.
I know just what you mean. Looking back at my experiences with this person I ask myself "what in the hell was I thinking? I'm such stupid hopeless romantic " but I know better now thank God
The biggest mistake I made in the first throes was telling my ex-boyfriend that I wanted him but didn't need him. I see now, from that moment, he set out to make sure that he was needed. He railroaded me into moving into his flat, paying more than half of all his bills, only after he had coercively controlled me out of my trade (telling me he didn't want me working on-site with a load of blokes), into a menial low-paid admin position - I'm a qualified Painter & Decorator, in 1996 we female Decorators were a rarity. I loved going into a place & making it beautiful again. I rather loved the money I had earned too. For as long as I was in a low-paid job paying half his bills I wasn't independent & had no means with which to leave. In the finish I made him write me a cheque for my flat's deposit & month in advance. He cut up rough until I reminded him how much money he had had out of me for two years. It took me two years after that to get him out of my life completely. I never truly needed him, he brought me nothing but misery. Not wanting him gave me my freedom. If I could only forget his cruelty, I'd be a happier human being. He once complained to me "I'm so skint, I've only got £4,000 in the bank". I said "come to me when you're like me, living in a £600 overdraft, I'm broke for two weeks out of every month, then you'll have something to complain about". To people here it is believable; when I told him I was moving out, he said after the arguing, "let's get married". I scoffed & said "you have never wanted to be married, you have never spoken about our future but now I'm leaving, you want to get married. Not even a proposal with a ring, wine & flowers, no, just a suggestion. You can forget about that - you are too selfish to be in a relationship with - why would I tie myself to you for life"? He then said, I have to admit to cackling like a witch at this: "let's go for IVF, let's have a baby". He was overjoyed when I got diagnosed with endometriosis. I was told that I would never naturally conceive, I had the answer as to why I had never fallen pregnant, the gynaecologist called my womb a "hostile environment". His face in the doctor's office is something that I will never forget. The way it told me, "this is great, she can't trap me with a baby". How callous & inhuman do you have to be, to abuse someone, have them under manners for YEARS, then attempt to further ensnare your victim when they want to leave, with an inane suggestion of marriage when you never wanted to, in all those years, THEN, try to have your victim carry your baby to keep her, when you made a point, on a regular basis of telling her, you DO NOT WANT KIDS? My narc sister said that he looks like he fell out of the ugly tree & hit every branch on the way down. I was offended on his behalf at the time. The months leading up to me leaving, I found him utterly repulsively repellent. That is why, I just could not understand WHY, for two years after I left, I couldn't get rid of him. It was the hoovering, with him all nostalgic & reminiscent, trying to & succeeding at making himself look desirable & me completely crazy for leaving him. The mask would slip, I'd cut him off, then he'd hoover me again. I feel sorry for every single woman on Planet Earth that has had children with a narc - my mother included. Even if you get them out of your life, you NEVER get rid of them, especially if any of your children end up as narcs as well. My sister, a case in point. We have some hope of healing, but for as long as we can't forget, we are not rid. I sobbed watching that film, The Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind. How I wish I could just have my memory of him, erased, permanently, forever.
I’m not a doctor so I can’t diagnose her.. but all the signs point to my ex being a narc. Can someone confirm? 1. Love bombing at the start. Was at my house 5 days in a row after the first date, buying gifts, amazing sex, fun, amazing charismatic person. 2. Turn up one day to a bar I was at and said “I need to work on some things and we shouldn’t see each other anymore”. 3. We stayed together cuz I told her I really liked her. Then every time we saw each other it was “this is the last time we should see each other”. This went on for nearly the whole relationship of a year. 4. On my birthday she did absolutely nothing (no cake, no kiss, no sex, no gift) and made it seem like a chore to come out for my 40th birthday party. 5. Started giving me little digs that were so weird and unfounded like “you’re an energy vampire” and “you have no friends” all of which are totally false. (Almost like someone had said it to her before and she was mirroring it) 6. Strange mood swings, almost bipolar. Lots of secrets. Possessive with friends. Didn’t really want to mix me and friends. Lots of friends but didn’t have a deep connection with any of them. 7. Told me she hated herself and sometimes was suicidal. 8. She kept saying she didn’t want anything with anyone and wanted to be alone… but then after one month of us breaking up and her saying that, she was in a new relationship (refused to tell we who it is) and acted SO cold towards me. Like we were strangers. Sound like a narc? Would appreciate the help.
This video really opened my eyes. ❤😢I’ve been trying to understand why my husband of has been acting strange and distancing himself from me for months now and this has really helped.
The narcissist: The grass is greener on the other side
Me: 🙄That’s Because you haven’t been over there to F it up yet.
🤣 so true
😂👌🏼
This the one 😂😂
Best quote ever!!!
@@LethalWeapon73 😂💯
‘Who they are at the end of the relationship is who they really are’… ❤
🎯
Yep.👌🏿
Truth. I found out she is a coward and a bully, not the sweet girl I thought she was.
Facts
EXACTLY!
This is so true. If someone doesn’t care about losing you after a break up, they never valued you in the first place☝️
Well my dear; Break ups are just that, about separation ,
Losing is mental if you still
Will know we're their aŕe.
Moving on is normal the relationship is broken.
This was hard for me to grasp!!
Isn’t the losing you and breaking up the same event?
@@Futureholdshopeme too… I was in a very long marriage, and looking back I know in my heart he never loved me
They make you feel like you are a inconvenience to them and are super irritated by you.
Exactly
yes true
So very true.
Absolutely
Omg yess..I used to tell mine, its like you like me and hate me at the same time.
Only time they don't want you to move on is if you still got something they wanna use you for... Other than that they'll drop you like a hot potato... STAY STRONG EVERYONE
Lol I wish I was that hot potato
@@vanisamaroo 🤣🤣
Yeeeeep! Cruel but TRUE! I’m eagerly waiting on them to REAP WHAT THEY SOW. 🤗
They want your money. He will charmingly exploit your life's work!!
Yes, the narc I had a relationship with only came around for sex. At the end there was the total emotional disconnect...Just sex. When I finally broke up with him, he said that he did love me - he just couldn't show it. Lies, lies, lies.
The thing is...he told me we are not together anymore and still wanted the treatment as if we are
This is code for, I want to sleep with others while we're still "together".
It does depend!! I made sure my person did not see it coming. I changed none of my behavior. He told me how spineless I was, how I was using him, how much he wanted me gone, all the way til the end. We were together 21 years. I made my move on a day I knew he went to the casino, hired movers, recruited friends, boarded my dogs for the day and basically snuck out like a thief in the night. He came home to me and the dogs gone. Its been just over 15 months and have zero regrets. For the record, he did not Hoover or try to find me. He only asked for me to return the dogs. Months later he did reach out to my parent's to return some things I had left behind. I have my own home now and he is living with the ghost of me in the house we shared for 15 yrs. Not sure if he has a new partner/supply. Don't care, either.
How did you find strength?
Good for you to finally make that leap! I am in at 5yrs and yesterday it was like the last straw- he couldn't take me giving back the same crap he gives me
I’m so happy for you. Stay strong. I think asking for the dogs from you and then your parents was a baiting or kinda hoovering. Maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know.
Yea t looks like they say the same things ! It’s like they went to the same narcissistic school!
My ex was saying exactly the same things how horrible human being I am user and you can fill blanks………. X
@@annav61I agree! The narcissistic school is real, it's like they ALL do the SAME things in varied forms and that what makes it so much easier to spot them!
They do nothing but project and disconnect from u and blame u and its the most hurtful mind bending life changing abuse I've ever experienced. Just. Walk. Away.
Yes this is similar to what happened when I went no contact.
It really baffled me how he walked away so quickly after 22 yrs of marriage… was so in love with the new supply
Yesssssss…I’m sooooo broken inside …. But I have a plan y’all. 26 yrs I despise him
Exactly.
I’m struggling leaving him… he keeps blocking me and taking things I need to survive…. LORD JESUS HELP ME🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💯💔💯💯
😂😂he did this today by telling me to get the divorce papers!! I told him I Sure Will!!!
"Athe end of the relationship, this is who they (narcissists) really are." Powerful statement. Helps me alot thank you.
It’s SCARY how many people have been with a Narc after reading the comments under each of Lee’s videos😳
I was never with this one but I thank God.. towards the end he just switched. Jealousy, intimidation.. . It came out of nowhere . Then said he felt sorry for me . All I could do was lol because like I told him , I know who I am lol.
Get outta my head and because mine betrayed me..I keep thinking if someone is talking about him too😂😭💔
They have groomed a new supply already before leaving. Bye-bye. Bon voyage. A condolence card for the next victim.
✌️
the plus side is now you know. i can see one from a mile away.
@@lilfairycupcakehopefully. Yeah
Oh for sure. New supply was groomed already. And he should have known better. I should have known better too but he saw how it went down with me and the other person before me.
@@1badombre82 the old I'm special, I'm immune trick. Yeaaaa, sure you are dummy.
"The version of this person that you have now, is the version they will always be. It doesn't change." Deep and true 💕💪🏽
I agree I believe we project our own good qualities onto them and see them much better than who they actually are
💛💪🏾😍
@@belindapadron7175True
A relationship with a narcissist sent me to my rock bottom a few years ago. It was the first time I fully trusted after trauma. I thought I "knew" him because I worked with him professionally for over a year before I finally gave in to his requests for a date. I fell hard and fast. I found out a lot of dark secrets, but it was too late. He was addicted to the chaos that he continued to entertain with his estranged wife, and I am very much not into the drama. I gave him the benefit of the doubt for too long. He sucked me in, and then he just dropped me in my most vulnerable state. It broke me entirely. I eventually was able to climb out of the deep hole I was in and work on myself intently for the next couple of years. I've been on a path of enlightenment, and I'm working to become emotionally strong. I finally love myself, and I will never fall for that again. The book that saved my life was Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Dispenza. I wouldn't be here without it.
I love Dr. Joe
I was with a bio polar narcissist for 8 years. We recently broke up. I can finally honestly say I am so happy! He will never change ! I am ready to be happy and live my life without being put down, cheated on, talked about and stabbed in the back, and expected to do only what he wants. He is honestly psychotic. He believes his own lies. And No one can do anything better than him! And I never have to deal with that ever again! Thank You Jesus!
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙌🏾🙌🏾
What a combo. Sorry
Thank You Jesus for Deliverance
I disengaged from the narcissist for my own emotional well being. I noticed the roller coaster and I wanted him to disconnect so I could make my move far away from him. The disconnect was the Deliverance!
Oh wow! The disconnect was the deliverance! Hallelujah!
the only solution is to totally discard them from your life.
I hope you are now living your best life. I feel that is revenge without vengance.
so true let them leave you that's the only way to get away
I did the same got my restraining order. He kept trying to reconnect . That's my discard of him
I know feel so mad at myself for letting someone treat me this way. I wanted to make it work so much and I have learnt the hard way never to let my boundaries be repeatedly disrespected ever again.
🙏🏽
Either they go full blown erratic or full cold.
Quite possibly
I was ready for most of my ex narc moves, I had educated myself. I REALLY did not care because I saw him as evil. I know now that nearing the end I actually wanted him to know I did not want him. I think he did know because he acted out on the regular, outbursts etc..... with fake insistence on maintaining the addictionship. I planned my day of walking away. I was most angry about being targeted in the first place. My exit 3 years ago was poetic, I was just "gone" I really hope I shook his total foundation. Remember me please, fool, you can't keep a good woman down😊 I now advocate for DV abuse survivors who want OUT❤
You...Are...AWESOME! Thank you for being there for others that have been/ are going through this nightmare. The value of your experience, using pain for good.
So at the end of the final time (which was about 14 months ago) it was completely different than any other time. He devalued me so bad that I nearly went into blackout mode. I told him something has died in me. Our connection was finally broken. It doesn’t feel the same. Our dynamic is different. He didn’t really believe me but because he realized my words were short he knew he lost me. So the phone calls slowed down and we would speak once or twice a week but I noticed he would try to talk for a long time. I’m like nah I don’t want to talk anymore. He called and I finally didn’t answer. I blocked him on all platforms. It has been a blessing!!!
Good for you! ❤🙏🏾
Praise God
It's never the same but that gave me the initiative to break up and move on. I don't deserve to be loved like that.
True
20 years of marriage and on 22 days of silence. I am finally able to be ok with leaving. There will be no closure for me and I am trying to deal with that part of living with a narcissist.
Choose yourself King!!!
You are on the right path. It gets easier, just stay strong and continue to choose yourself first. You are worth it
Wow! I thought 16 years was hurtful to be cut off. I am being strong, though. I am ready now. Still hurtful, still resentful, still raw.
Mad at myself because ALL the red flags were there at the beginning. I ignored them because he "love bombed" me from day 1.
I’ve dealt with two narcissists…I’m working on my self healing. Never again
💪🏽
STAY SEXY BUT SINGLE. That’s the best thing you can do and that makes everyone mad 😂😂
I waited till I was discarded, I pushed it. No more supply from mwaahh 😂. Tomorrow I am officially NARC free settling well in my new HOME 💃🏾💕
Thank you Lee for putting yourself out there and affirming the victims of narcissism. Your knowledge helps us to better understand how a narc thinks and how to preserve our own peace and make better choices for ourselves.
I'd like to second that. Thank you, Lee, for being concerned about the damage that narcissists do, for taking account of yourself, more, for being a beacon of hope. I do not know personally a single narcissist that will take account of themselves. I do not know of a single narcissist, that says a genuine "sorry". I feel, in the work you are doing, you are making a difference & saying a genuine SORRY. One:LOVE.
You are a shining example of how you can flip from choosing negative attention to choosing positive attention. Lee, you can testify how different it feels and help more narcissistic people to overcome all that insecurity in a sustainable way. Love what you do!
The grass doesn't know who i am... speaks volumes to me.
I love the clarity of this. When we were discussing moving back to the 919, I discovered he was looking for rooms to rent on craigs list WHILE we were supposed to be prepared to move back to our home state.
This was the SECOND time I was on the discard route. Don't fall for it, don't give a second chance, in a matter of a few years it's going to be a repeat, and once is bad enough!
I have been dealing with a narcissistic relationship I had to end it the physical and mentally abusive he was bad and needed help omg the lies and manipulation lord help him
Woe you are spot on with this one! This man gave me no attention at all. He literally acted like I was not there! He would speak to the dog and gave me the silent treatment for weeks on end. When I returned the same energy he gave to me he couldn't take it and drank himself to death! What a strange man! Why he didn't just leave if he had no more use for me is because he had no one to replace me. No one including me has no more use for him as well. Sheesh! What a nightmare!
The example of the untouched grass... I felt this! Thank you for sharing this perspective.
It's interesting because my ex narc used until the end still lines like 'I love you' or 'I know you are the one for me' but everything in my body sensed that there were no emotions behind it at all.
It even came to the point that he talked me into thinking that I was so much wounded I couldn't allow his love in.
Wow, haha.
I just felt all the way that there was no love from his side in the first place. How to let something in which is not there? Luckily I am out of the situation and educating myself. Your channel gives a lot of insights, God bless you.
Absolutely true, because he pulled away and tried some tactics to get me to leave, and it worked, so I blocked-deleted-goodbye-free🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
I’m glad she’s gone. 5 years for the sake of protecting the kids from her and denying myself in all ways. I hope she never tries to come back because I’m going to hurt her feelings.
They ALWAYS have someone else and they are always right! They are never at blame for anything!!!!! Everything has been your fault the entire time!!!
When the narc disconnects - leave them and go absolutely NO CONTACT! I did this to the man I know will be my husband! This is a part of the process!
I am in a 30 year relationship with a person who now tells me stories of things we have done together in the singular. He tells me the story as if he had done it while he was single. This is my wake up call, I am beginning to believe that he is a narcissist
Hey Lee! I've been listening to your videos for about a year now and you have taught me so much about being in a relationship with a narcissist! I just want to thank you and let you know that I appreciate what you're doing for people like me cause I was literally about to have a mental breakdown and end my life! I had no idea what a narcissist was and thought that I was literally going crazy!
This man turned out to be a monster and traumatized me for life! It was hard leaving , even ended up having a mild stroke 2yrs ago and on the streets but I did it ... I FINALLY left him!
So thank you! God Bless you and yours!
I have already disconnected from him, and don't believe him when he tells me he loves and wants to be with me only. Yet he treats me like he hates me. He projects and tells me I am the narcissistic and trying to be a victim. I just stay quiet and let him talk all he wants, and then boom I block him lol. He gets so angry when I do that hahaha, hey, his fault he wont leave me alone and just talks to me to complain to me about me. Go figure hahaha.
Thank you for you sharing this and your vids - they have helped me be strong- and I truly believe he is talking to others and when I do it his top flips. I just shrug it and go no contact, I feel like I no longer care. I did let him go a few times , leaves me alone for 2 days and then somehow hooks me back int o the toxicity, is nice for 4 days and then back to being himself.
“Talks to me to complain to me about me.” Before, I used to just sit there and listen smh. Now when he starts in, I say, Okay, I’m not going to sit here and listen to this anymore and I’ll start to leave or hang up. Then he’ll change the subject lol.
OMG, same. Told him to call his friends to bitch about me and blocked him. The only way to get him to focus on his life and bring some peace baxk into mine.
@nicolesmith923 Yep! I just ended the call and go play video games :)
@dominikamestrovic7663 I am like , not going to expose my poor ears to your complaints fool . I act out because of you! I end the call and block. And enjoy the silent treatment. He hates that, I love it!! 🤣🤣 Hey, you are getting back what you give me, is my new motto.
That makes a lot of sense why after a day of the break up he told me he already was talking to someone new. So I'm like ok he's probably been talking to her for a couple weeks. Telling me I have to change 🤣
I love your grass analogy! 😊
I held on for so long. They replaced me with our child. They asked me for an open relationship a year after our child was born. I tried to be understanding. When they finally left, it was all about how I'd never been a good husband, how I never tried, never did anything more than the bare minimum. I blamed myself for everything for well over a month, and I shot down anyone trying to tell me she sounded like a narcissist. The more of these videos I watch, the more my eyes are opened.
In my experience, like a whiny brat. WAHHHHHHH! *sniff *sniff "I did so much for you (that never happened) and you hurt me so horribly (also never happened, unless in reverse)". WAHHHHHHHH Of course, he was mixing up things with his boatloads of ex's while he was so drunk he couldn't even remember his own address. Sad, yet made me giggle when I look back on it.
education is your best defense against one, the more you know the better. was in a off, and on 8yr relationship with what i refer to as a classic narc. did not truly know what a narc was until months after i kicked her to the curb, only then being able to put a name to her flavor of crazy.
Thank you for clarifying this part of discard by a narcissist. I have given enough of my love, help and empathy. I dislike triangulation. Thank you 🙏😊
This is 100% true I went through this. When I would go over to my ex narc house it’s like he was totally bored that I was even there with him. Disconnected and uninterested like he did not really want me to be there.. Probably because he already had his supply lined up and couldn’t text her while I was there at his house. These videos are so helpful! Thank you 🙏🏽
D💯
Hes so back and forth. We don't really tell each other a lot anymore, but he still talks about our someday house , and plans he has for later in the year....
.... That confuses me so bad.... Bc he does all the disconnecting stuff but then talks like this. Ugh....
One day he expressed his undying love and could never "quit" me the very next morning he flipped out! Accused me of sleeping with other men and how I am the problem. Blamed me for everything. Full on tantrum. Yelling how he is done with me and to get the "f" away from him. I simply stood there and then responded with a simple "thank you". I went a step forward and blocked him from everything. Unfortunately, we work together. I don't speak to him nor do I react to hearing his new exploits or recycled ones. Can it be safely said that the game is over?
I'm only thinking about being happy with myself by myself. Without people stalking me.
Yeah this is someone I do not want to be with., because this is so toxic. They will never be with one person but for a split moment. Thank you for your knowledge.
Every time I get going, he gets all gushy again. He wants to be single but he don't want me to leave, so he starts love bombing me again.
Spot on...I am soooo over being disrespected...unloved....no communication...then he will be nice for awhike...a vicious cycle
Actually, it’s a two way street. Your love or caring for them fades away. You lose all respect for them. I’m not emotionally falling apart, I like being alone anyway. I don’t need to worry about him anymore, because he was so selfish.
Yes,at least for me I agree.Told him we should end this. He won't talk about it.
I told the narc that if I were to ever meet anyone that’s even close to his character that I’d run so fast that I might just fall & skin my knees but I’d suck it up & be ecstatic in the process!😆
😆
I'm still struggling to determine if he was an actual narcissist or bipolar (&/or boarderline)!?! He has narcissist traits but he literally would flip flop between "loving me 1 day and hating me the next". He was the same person as he was in the beginning throughout the whole relationship but a switch would turn on and off .. at the least he's toxic 🤷♀️
In the end it doesn’t matter what his label is. What matters is how he treated you. Did he lie and cheat? Did he manipulate you? Did you constantly feel lost and sad? Toxic is toxic. And no one deserves to be treated that way.
I'm wondering the same about my Dude too🫤
I think the difference between BPD and NPD is the intention. BPD is often they don't actually want to do this and they know they hurt people and dont want to. NPD can be on purpose to hurt hurt somebody or to play with their mind.
@@romyroos4823 honestly I don't think he intends to do half the shit he does but then can't take it back or take responsibility for it .. but its so hard to tell sometimes 😞
@@michele7215 i am struggling with exactly the same. Like is he doing this on purpose or not... yoi can never know for 100% I guess exept themselves
I said to my ex just before she walked out of my life. Did you love me when you first met me? "she said yes.
I then said, "Do you love me for who I have become now?" she said no.
I thought that is very interesting because I have become the person you groomed me to be. Interestingly enough, I had become a mirror image of her. It told me just how much she doesn't like herself.
I am feeling blessed that I got out of the marriage in 4 years. It is so sad that people can be like that. 😢
🙏🙏🙏🙏
This is very helpful. Especially why they come back, until they find new narc supply.
Im sure othwrs may feel or think like i do...What actually makes you different is the accountability factor. Evildoers has none. They aren't remorseful. They are committed daily to doing you wrong. I believe God can change the hearts of those who are willing to accept their short comings. Its so easy to point out the flaws in others...the hard part is acknowledging your own flaws. What you are actually doing is denouncing Satan's strong hold over your life. That is a great step. You are helping others. God sees your heart. Be blessed.
I appreciate this man so much.. For being a narcissist and to learn how to have insight of any kind but especially to this level is amazing to me. Change and growth can be hard for the average person but this man just amazes me. Wish all narcs could see there is a way to change. Maybe theyd experience happiness for the first time.
My mother replaced me with my ex and paid for his lawyer and told him to get sole custody. Then she told my ex he could move in with her with my kids. I got temporary sole custody and 2 years into my divorce. I have had no contact with my mother for 18 months. So much more peaceful. I was so afraid I couldn't make it on my own, but that was just my mom talking in my head.
That is beyond horrible! I hope you're healing and doing OK. Man, people are sick! So sorry that you went through this.
@FeatherJoTalks I am doing much better. Healing and growth is difficult, but empowering.
@kmpozxyq similar story to mine. My mum ended up dating my ex narc. She literally lives with him😢
They start who hoover back around once they feel like you are healing and they want to use you for something.😒
Ahhh so that’s why. He already had found another supply! My spouse of 28 years filed a divorce and I knew he shifted and told my daughter he’s found someone else to be with. And later found out that that was the case. It was his ex wife. I was dumbfounded. She has her work cut out for her. They were married long enough for her to know what his real issue is. I actually think she is one as well which is why they didn’t stay together long.
He tried to tell me that if I don’t put up with crap” (my words), I also miss out on intimacy. Where is this intimacy he talks about? He took it away already. Apparently because he just likes peace, and I’m not providing it, which translates as I address his bad behavior whereas he want to do and say what he wants.
I'm trying to peacefully get out of a relationship with a narcissist. We've been together for eleven years and have four children together. I definitely know that he's not going to co-parent with me. I've tried everything I can to explain why it's over. Every day after an argument he acts as if nothing is wrong. He always says yesterday is gone get over it. It's just toxic.
I feel like I'm the only one going through this. Having kids with a narcissist and trying to PEACEFULLY leave. At this point I just want happiness and peace. It's all I think about now days
@@saxyg1876 you’re not alone I’m in the same exact boat he completely changed he hasn’t said it but he might say I see you as a different person and I agree I can’t be with you. Lol but yep same he’s not overreacting big I feel a storm brewing
@@og_goatedAlways have a plan. Protect your money & go gray rock whenever you can.
Be Strong l Just Got Out You Are Not Alone
You can do it Ladies!! If God can deliver me from my Egypt(a narcissistic partner)he can do it for you. I walked away 4/1/23❤
You are strong
You are loved
You deserved to be loved correctly
You deserve to be heard
You deserve respect
Love yourself enough to walk away from what's hurting you! It'll be hard, start building your courage now. You can do it beautiful. The first part of healing is waking away. And if nobody told you, I love you ❤😊
Emotional disconnect is the worst. Four months and i got rid. Thankfully only a relatively short time was lost on this narcissist. Stay strong ❤
Mine lasted for 4 months as well. And healing is so hard. This short 4 months affected my life for for one year straight. The worst thing is that they think that the grass is always greener on the other side and that there was no any fault on their side. Then they repeat the same scenario with someone else again. My ex within a year after a breakup repeated scenario 3 times. What a broken ppl they are…
@@malinowabeza3712 I hope you are soon in a good place x
@@mandyharrison3799 thank you. I needed to read that ❤️ lot of hugs for you
My narc and I divorced after 3 years of marriage. And I heard he’s trying to work his way back to his ex wife before me. They were married for 35 years. And I know for a fact that she caught hell majority of the marriage. She had to deal with his drugs habits and cheating with different women. And he supposed to be a minister. She divorced him. And now she’s considering on taking him back. OMG!!!! what the freaking hell- narc are such damn snakes. You have to be strong chic--damn. There’s no way I would let him come back after all those miserable years the drugs, cheating and a newly divorce with me the damn ink still wet on the paper just a month ago. She letting him slither his behind back in her life. All I can say is sister you got to be desperate. Even if yall do have children - they are grown. I hope you keep his ass away from me dammit. I mean that. He’s been blocked since our divorce 2-3 months ago and still trying to contact me on my job. No I’m not answering the phone. And she probably doesn’t know it. Im sure he’s calling me to see if he has mail at my house - why it wasn’t changed when he moved a year ago. Don’t worry i will put return to sender on it. He will forever be blocked and his family too. The red flag was he was still talking to her the ex and the woman he cheated on her with during my damn marriage. I didnt know until I checked his phone. Narc dont like parting they like for the doors to stay slightly open to go back. That’s when I decided we are done. He filed and my lawyer expedited the divorce before he changed his mind for the third time. Ladies and gentlemen find some self esteem don’t be a fool. Life to short. It feels so good to be free from that demon. Thank you Lord for savng me.
Y did you marry him?
Thank you. This explains so much of my ex wife’s behaviors at the end of our marriage. I couldn’t understand it until now. I’ve long wondered if she’s a narcissist and the more evidence that I’m seeing, the more that I believe it’s true. And this explains a lot!
The NARC I had the utter displeasure of being with for 5 yrs acted this way all throughout the relationship when they would get called out for cheating all the time or just being disrespectful. So Ive already had a preview of this therefore im immune to it, hell im HOPING he remains this way and not stalk me. I have used this "act" to MY advantage many times! I transmute energy very well.
You are legit a modern day prophet
Trying to help
the way narcs chase shiny objects…they will never find happiness unless they change their pattern of behavior.
💯💯
On last Saturday he was love bombing me on fb and Sunday I was blocked and he said he didn't love me or like me. That I dnt see him as a man. I told him to file for the divorce asap.
Yes you are absolutely right, I’m living with one now he puts me down all this time, holla at me like I’m a child etc…. But he is about to be gone on god all it do is take away from you
A lot of people say that if you leave them and go no contact first, that the think about you all the time but i don't really think that. Mine had supply the whole time we were together. He was hitting me harder and harder each time. So im not in denial anymore
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Currently going through it now most of all lasts 2 days he saying i hv no conversation or i dont motivation no more when i have done so much but they have patterns i see over the years i learn to be quiet now its a problem he always has to be right
As is always said they have no personal connect or sentiment and think every human being is an object. So, you have lost nothing when they walk away!
Wow you have told me,the truth!💪Time for me to get my shit together.Im moving on and moving forward.Thank You
Lee, you're awesome. I found your channel this week and everything you talk about is so spot on. Thank you for what you do😊
Well hell, I was emotionally discarded before we even left for Cambodia!!!!😮😮😮😮
I got discarded in Spain on holiday 1st day so he could go f around.I got another hotel then he started begging me to come and hold him while he slept....ummm nope !
It's crazy, when my nEx and i broke up after 12 years together she'd been dating her new boyfriend for 3 years at that point!
Thank you.. I am dealing with a grand smear campaign by a Super Narc. Passive aggressive cunning manipulator that acts like butter wouldn't melt in its mouth. My ex went back to old supply and now I am the villain. Here's hoping logic works on whomever that serpent tongue hits.
I am also experiencing this hell with my step father, a serious smear campaign involving the police and other authorities. He is always plotting and is very cunning.
Speaking facts as usual ❤
Thank you 😊
Hey man I really appreciate you doing this. It takes a lot to admit it first of all. And secondly you are putting awareness out there. God bless you and yours
100% facts.
💯
If people don't do better, knowing the info now. Thank you for helping me understand, because I didn't know until I started watching you. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
People like you are so invaluable!! To actually say that this can happen in a parent- child relationship. The way they disconnect, and never reconnect with you the same way, bcz they have replaced you with someone else, say a sibling. They have, as you said, deactivated the soft ware, closed the account. Precious words, never before said! Thank you!!!
Excellent way of describing using the yard. ❤
Defintiely experienced the narcissitic discsrd in all ots forms. After I stayed.with him tthrough drug abuse, infidelity, chronic unemployment, etc etc., but at the end of he relatuonship, HE saw me different. Go figure. Twenty+ years and I deserve better.
‼️‼️‼️
My ex told me after 43 years of me being his doormat that he never loved me. He said "I don't know what love is". This explained a lot of past behaviors.
Thank you for making it plain. I didn’t understand the mindset of a narc. I’m working on self💪🏾
💪🏽💪🏽
I’m just now experiencing this phase. Im a wreck. This pain is excruciating! He is someone I don’t know. He has totally turned mean ice cold on me overnight. I’m lost. I have no friends no self esteem deep depression anxiety crying wondering ruminating. I feel like I’m trash that’s been thrown out as he is driving down the freeway. I’m hurting and desperately want this pain to end. I had no idea this pain encompasses emotional mental and physical. This is like nothing I’ve ever gone through period. Hurting extremely bad.
I’m the hurt person but my man just found a therapist to agree with him and it was 10x more frustrating
I suspect the therapist is narcissistic and cares only about getting a fee! Stay strong ❤
thxs I needed to hear this…. he showed me who he truly is…
Just exactly my actual situation and yes I do I ask him to leave because that’s what he want me to do. Is about 2 months already I miss something some sometimes but I don’t know what exactly is. 8 years married and we split up 7 times before this one.
You and Stephan Speaks could pass for being Brothers😊. Bless your heart. Keep motivating others. So bless.❤
You’re actually scaring me because I relate with some things you talk about with disconnecting and looking for another partner. But I only started doing that after she was the one that constantly made false accusations, shifted the blame, and took no accountability. So I was just so confused and emotionally drained each time that happened that I also slightly disconnected because I didn’t know what to do. But before we had our first major conflict, actually I’d say second one cause then I started to see the pattern, was then when I started to really question and just couldn’t feel the same again right away.
You are so awesome and so very intelligent regarding narcissistic behavior. Your short videos have literally saved my life!!! Thank you so much for teaching me all of the things /truths regarding narcissism! You are so informative and I watch at least one of your videos each day!!! Thank you again!!!
It’s crazy. I look back over old conversations on apps, especially from last year and early this year, and I can clearly see the digs and little insults she would throw at me. She definitely treated me completely differently at the end than during the first couple of years, and using the same method, I can now see that the mask was slipping even then. Not much, but it was.
The new grass isn’t new grass. Just grass that, as far as she says, she hadn’t been on in 15 years (figuratively AND literally), but who even know how true that is. I know she was talking to him our entire relationship over FB and probably other venues.
I know just what you mean. Looking back at my experiences with this person I ask myself "what in the hell was I thinking? I'm such stupid hopeless romantic " but I know better now thank God
@@1badombre82 It’s not that we’re stupid. We just put too much belief in others.
The biggest mistake I made in the first throes was telling my ex-boyfriend that I wanted him but didn't need him. I see now, from that moment, he set out to make sure that he was needed. He railroaded me into moving into his flat, paying more than half of all his bills, only after he had coercively controlled me out of my trade (telling me he didn't want me working on-site with a load of blokes), into a menial low-paid admin position - I'm a qualified Painter & Decorator, in 1996 we female Decorators were a rarity. I loved going into a place & making it beautiful again. I rather loved the money I had earned too. For as long as I was in a low-paid job paying half his bills I wasn't independent & had no means with which to leave. In the finish I made him write me a cheque for my flat's deposit & month in advance. He cut up rough until I reminded him how much money he had had out of me for two years. It took me two years after that to get him out of my life completely. I never truly needed him, he brought me nothing but misery. Not wanting him gave me my freedom. If I could only forget his cruelty, I'd be a happier human being. He once complained to me "I'm so skint, I've only got £4,000 in the bank". I said "come to me when you're like me, living in a £600 overdraft, I'm broke for two weeks out of every month, then you'll have something to complain about".
To people here it is believable; when I told him I was moving out, he said after the arguing, "let's get married". I scoffed & said "you have never wanted to be married, you have never spoken about our future but now I'm leaving, you want to get married. Not even a proposal with a ring, wine & flowers, no, just a suggestion. You can forget about that - you are too selfish to be in a relationship with - why would I tie myself to you for life"? He then said, I have to admit to cackling like a witch at this: "let's go for IVF, let's have a baby". He was overjoyed when I got diagnosed with endometriosis. I was told that I would never naturally conceive, I had the answer as to why I had never fallen pregnant, the gynaecologist called my womb a "hostile environment". His face in the doctor's office is something that I will never forget. The way it told me, "this is great, she can't trap me with a baby".
How callous & inhuman do you have to be, to abuse someone, have them under manners for YEARS, then attempt to further ensnare your victim when they want to leave, with an inane suggestion of marriage when you never wanted to, in all those years, THEN, try to have your victim carry your baby to keep her, when you made a point, on a regular basis of telling her, you DO NOT WANT KIDS?
My narc sister said that he looks like he fell out of the ugly tree & hit every branch on the way down. I was offended on his behalf at the time. The months leading up to me leaving, I found him utterly repulsively repellent. That is why, I just could not understand WHY, for two years after I left, I couldn't get rid of him. It was the hoovering, with him all nostalgic & reminiscent, trying to & succeeding at making himself look desirable & me completely crazy for leaving him. The mask would slip, I'd cut him off, then he'd hoover me again. I feel sorry for every single woman on Planet Earth that has had children with a narc - my mother included. Even if you get them out of your life, you NEVER get rid of them, especially if any of your children end up as narcs as well. My sister, a case in point. We have some hope of healing, but for as long as we can't forget, we are not rid. I sobbed watching that film, The Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind. How I wish I could just have my memory of him, erased, permanently, forever.
I’m not a doctor so I can’t diagnose her.. but all the signs point to my ex being a narc. Can someone confirm?
1. Love bombing at the start. Was at my house 5 days in a row after the first date, buying gifts, amazing sex, fun, amazing charismatic person.
2. Turn up one day to a bar I was at and said “I need to work on some things and we shouldn’t see each other anymore”.
3. We stayed together cuz I told her I really liked her. Then every time we saw each other it was “this is the last time we should see each other”. This went on for nearly the whole relationship of a year.
4. On my birthday she did absolutely nothing (no cake, no kiss, no sex, no gift) and made it seem like a chore to come out for my 40th birthday party.
5. Started giving me little digs that were so weird and unfounded like “you’re an energy vampire” and “you have no friends” all of which are totally false. (Almost like someone had said it to her before and she was mirroring it)
6. Strange mood swings, almost bipolar. Lots of secrets. Possessive with friends. Didn’t really want to mix me and friends. Lots of friends but didn’t have a deep connection with any of them.
7. Told me she hated herself and sometimes was suicidal.
8. She kept saying she didn’t want anything with anyone and wanted to be alone… but then after one month of us breaking up and her saying that, she was in a new relationship (refused to tell we who it is) and acted SO cold towards me. Like we were strangers.
Sound like a narc? Would appreciate the help.
Yes ! A narc ! Stay away , I had to after 15 yrs..good luck !
Sounds like you have had a lucky escape. Remember you deserve so much more!
I blocked him from my phone and fb. But noticed that he follows me on one of my other pages.
This video really opened my eyes. ❤😢I’ve been trying to understand why my husband of has been acting strange and distancing himself from me for months now and this has really helped.
💯🙏🏽🙏🏽