I left a narcissist when i only started to smell the devaluation phase. He was constantly trying to cross my boundaries, tried to make weird comments about my body or my place. His mask became really unstable and i saw the signs of his true face. I left and never going back. But I must say - it is difficult to leave someone you loved before they really harm you. You have to be wise and knowledgable enough to know what you are walking away from without it even happening. He doesn't even realize i'm gone, still trying to reverse hoover me. But peace is the gift i'm willing to give myself no matter what. Thank you Lee for helping me in this journey 💗
I blocked mine on everything 31 days ago 💪 and he was saying stuff about my body and what I have to clean up in my house, I was F**K you dude you ain't going to come in my house and tell me what I need to do
Also when he lived here he would act like paying his part of the rent was taking care of me 😮 when he handed me the money every month he would say see how I take care of you😮.I told him that's not taking care of me that's you paying to live somewhere,
I completely understand I went through the same thing. I left and have not looked back I'm not going to lie it hurt like hell and I've cried alone several nights and days but I knew I would get better. It just hurts when it's so fresh but each day that passes without him in my life the pain of it all doesn't sting as much. If I can do it you can also. it took me 2 kids and 30 years. To be done and to let the spell of that narc wear off of me. God bless. Keep fighting the good fight.😊
Oh no. You have not heard it all until you hear this. When I met my exhusband I was in a great place in my life. I had paid 23 years on a 25 year mortgage. I was 2 years from paying off my mortgage when “Romeo” strolled into my life. “Romeo” had a massive alimony payment every month to his first wife. “Romeo” is high profile so the love bombing was extraordinary. This guy had one goal with me. He wanted me to sell my house to pay off his alimony to his first wife!!! He literally said …word for word…”but honey, just think of all of the cash flow that will free up if I don’t have to pay that alimony every month” . After 2 years of his constant dialogue and daily preaching about selling my house, he finally gave up. Like a snap of your fingers, the love bombing stopped and he became cold as ice. That led to 2 years of devaluation. I did not compromise. I did not sell my house. I must have told him NO 200 times. My advice….set boundaries and stay firm.
My ex before discard would pull away he would get quiet, half hugs, no kisses, less sex, and when he would get drunk he would go into a rage of nothing but complaints that didn’t make sense and would argue with me while I sat there and just stayed quiet because it was to exhausting to fight. He would sleep more and more then start talking about his future without me included. After I caught on and started pulling away when I learned his behavior he would try to pull me back in when he saw I was over it. It was a vicious cycle.
After the love bombing phase which lasted less than 4 months my ex got so cold. No affection (kisses, hugs, sex) no communication, never wanted me around, visibly annoyed to be in my presence, only negative feedback and comments, genuinely did not like me or anything I said or did for almost a year. Then had the nerve to beg and cry when I finally left. First time and I’m hoping last time I ever date a narcissist.
Sis..your comment made me realize I'm not alone ...felt so ashamed as a woman begging for affection...made me feel small..wondering why we never go out...had me feeling like Quasimodo for a minute 😅😅..he left yesterday..I told him I'm Done...n I don't hurt...😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Lee, you're doing a good thing. My father is a diagnosed narcissist with two other cluster b disorders. He's been in therapy for it for over 30 years and he has consistently gotten better and better over the years.
Going through this now. The rage, the criticism and nitpicking, the devaluing and degradation. I cant seem to do anything right. No compliments (for years) yet everytime we go out, strnagers immediately compliment me. After years of putting up with his train wreck of a life (you'd shake your head at the BS I dealt with) he now tells me he's outgrown me. It hurts now but i know deep down inside hes doing us both a favor by finally choosing to walk away.
Going through this exact same thing right now… you wouldn’t believe what I’ve put up with… and now I’m not mature enough for him and I’m not the type of female he’s attracted to… he won’t call me a woman because he says I’m not
@myeshia73091 Wow. Just wow. I know your pain. I'm sure could trade war stories and we'd each shake our heads in disbelief. Why we continue(d) to endure it for so long is bigger and better question for US to focus on instead of "why they do what they do". My narcissis says hrs not going to change so there's no more hope for that
😢😢 woow is there an outbreak. It's my 5th day of being discarded physically. 4 years together.. He cut me off within a day. No conversation no closure. Yesterday they wrote a text. Why are you angry and you are the one who made me feel like shit. That demon. As I was in deep pain the first 3 days couldn't even work or cook. He was going on normally with his business like I never even existed. I geuss the pain is more about having being fooled and not having felt enough.
Yes they will start an unnecessary argument on simple stupid bs just so they can be away to be with the new supply and come back with I'm sorry bs lies only because they bored with the new supply and needs to check on the empathy person make a sure he/she left its all mind games with these insecure demons
I discarded her while she was on vacation after she gave me another silent treatment. I had enough of the games especially when we had multiple conversations where she agreed we needed to communicate better 😂😂😂
Omg, I am having the same problem with my person, or that demonic witch. She's nuts always switching things up on me. It's crazy. I have never dealt with crap like this and it's hard to disconnect from her because she Hoovers me back in..
Yup. When my "friend" realized I wasn't perfect, he started dropping these ambiguous comments that insinuated that I was bad, not just human, bad person. And then the nit picking started on everything I said. He totally pulled back and was passive. Finally, he blew up when I tried to ask real questions. It was too much for him and he discarded me in a text. His self-righteousness, thoughtlessness, carelessness, immaturity is just disgusting. It makes me never want to try again with anyone.
My ex told me that he realized that he was mad at me (and abusive) because he thought being w me would change him and it didn’t. He was a secret meth addict and also on the DL.
This answered some questions I had in the back of my mind about some mean things he said and did - which caused me to pull back from him - before we really started to go downhill. He says it is all my fault, but he insulted, demeaned, baited, bullied, and even caused me some physical pain, before I pulled back to protect myself (on many levels) enough that the fracture was noticeable - which then gave him the cover he wanted to claim that I wasn't giving him enough attention, and that our problems were driven by me and thus my fault. I came into this marriage with the intention of growing old with him, and I had to give up a LOT to make him happy to keep it going. Meanwhile, he hasn't given up anything, but has actually in a much better position because of my support, and is trying to find a younger and better replacement for me - and is highly encouraged to do so by his enabling family. They gleefully encourage him to destroy his marriage while keeping their own relationships intact - with actually toxic partners - but he doesn't have the sense to see the hypocrisy. I hope his next marriage finds him his equal . . .
Guys, all of you here... I'm so sorry to hear you went through this... my situation is very similar. I relocated from my country to his and then again relocated for his career... being promised family, kids...and full support of him... got nothing but revenges, disrespect, financial, emotional and physical abuse... Yet, I was told that it was fault because after 5 years he had no plans regarding our future, based on his opinion "I should be chilled and just enjoy my life"...as the plans regarding us were apparently not necessary, I should stay forever and close my mouth while being gaslighted, cheated on... lied... Idk how long it will take to recover from such desperation 😣 I wish everyone peace & see that incredible self-worth & find that love you crave within yourself ❤🙏
His few friends, big family and many coworkers are totally manipulated by him. They are little puppets on a string to him. He controls them all by buying them trips and tickets to concerts and football games etc. They don’t have to deal with him 24/7 so they don’t see the person behind the mask. What goes around comes around.
Whether you're a narcissist or not once the trust has been broken in a relationship it's hard to start over. It takes two to work out relationship issues. And with me I shut down a lot because my partner won't work on our relationship but talking all this self love for themselves. Start arguments just to tell me they are not going to argue with me but start the damn argument. Playing mind games. Then when I say it's almost like a high school relationship they say well it's better than being old and miserable. I'm 12 years older. I see the discard at this point. We have been dealing with one anothers BS for 13 years and I'm ready for change. They are never available, always an excuse, says it's because they don't want to argue but do things to argue. I'm over this spin cycle.
Yup... I complimented a narc once, and they immediately turned, looked at my face then my hair, and proceeded to insult my hair color. I was just realizing that that was just a narc just narcin'. I ignored the bait and kept it moving. I couldn't believe it tho!
I complimented a narc before and he blew up on me saying he doesn’t need validation and how secure he is. I said “gotcha! Will never compliment you again!”
So true, my toxic person would tell me he loves me everyday 3 or 4 times a day. All of a sudden it felt like i had to beg for him to say those words and when I asked whats wrong or if I've done anything, he would just ghost me. I noticed this pattern would happen every time I tell him no I don't have something he's looking for (money). He always comes back months later blaming me for keeping him away from the kids like i'm the one that went silent. :(
Facts. He doesn’t compliment me ever. I can never give him a compliment or tell him something sweet without him tearing my words apart and making me regret even speaking.
Omg “regret even speaking”. I know that feeling way too well. I can barely complete a verbal thought anymore because I’m learning to just stop while I’m ahead. Sometimes it works. But reading your words literally gave me chills. It’s so accurate
I woke up one morning and greeted the emotional discard. Overnight!! After I left, I got a text - "You could have made ME (the narc) so happy, but YOU took that away". Mr. Hammond describes it perfectly. Be safe, but leave.
for all that to happen Did you ever cross case when people end up getting back with the same person that put them through all that hurt and pain? Eventually, made it work.
@@JoelFields-tf1mc I like your thought. Really I do. But people don´t change easily - especially if they don´t want and don´t see the problem in themselves. ... So I am sorry but if you have to deal with a narcissist the chance to have a happy-ending is like zero.
The Abuse Gets worse they start argument's to Be with the new supply my ex narrissist withheld intimacy he was to tried Getting his needs met with the new supply the reverse discard he was treating me so badly I had to go no contact completely or not make it Best desicion ever although it was not Easy at the time I needed support and guidance from someone who specialises in narrrisstic abuse to Break the trama bond and have someone to talk to u never want to go through it again the worse experience of my life take care 💯❤️
My ex started devaluing me after she started cheating on me then went back to love bombing. (Didn't know she was cheating until I put all the pieces together after we broke up)
My wife had an affair with a co-worker for nearly two years, I found out about the other man , she kept on apologizing to every member of my family and they all begged me to forgive her, I moved back to our home and I still had that feeling something was off, I felt deep down that he I've been manipulated, gaslighted, and threatened on a daily basis. Some of the threats were she was going to kill me, My in-laws were also very verbally abusive towards me., I had to be ready for an argument everyday, Every day I was reminded that I am nothing and that I was not worth fighting for and that I don't meet the standards of being married to their daughter 😢. Recently, I found out she was cheating on me and had a boyfriend . After seeing the texts and pictures, I became dumb. I've been a good husband , thanks to this guy who's helped me to extract enough information from her device without traces and without her notice, he helped cloned her phone without physically touching it. I was able to access all of her texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and her long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him. His service is legal and certified his proof can be used in court, i already file for a divorce. Follow on Instagram. @Cypher_techn01 a message if you need more information to reach him
I’m surprised that a narcissist can be self aware like you are . And you are right saying all the things. I m a victim of narcissistic abuse and I found this all happen to me the same as you are saying 😮. Thank you
Yes this is true, but also the victim of narcissism could go silent and withdraw from sex and etc.. so a victim could also be seen as a narcissist on the flip side. Everything that they do to you and how u react can be used against you to make u seem like the narcissist
I know I did the stupid stuff to him that he did to me.. both husbands did stupid n treated me badly.. I'm still trying to heal. I love myself I need peace of mind. Both times I lost myself. Tried to date again n ex husbands daughter pops up n says talk to Dad. He was still living on People's couches 5 yrs after the divorce. What a piece of work. I'm doing good I don't want to deal with him. Remember after they mess up they will blame you for what they did to make you finally leave. Loved him since I was 19. 40 yrs later he is still doing bad and expects me to take him in...
I had to look long n hard at myself too sis. Until I realized. I never knew this word untill I met this man..he's the Narcissist. .I was always me..n there wasent a damm thing wrong with me. I was just n Imperfect person...never tried to hurt him. But he hurt me in ways I'm ashamed to say...this is my first day by myself. N I'm already happy 😊😊
I was sick, home with a temperature and he said he wanted to see me before he goes on holiday. He brought me flowers, cuddled with me, stayed with me all evening and seemed so kind and caring. Said he wants to see me again soon and that he’ll miss me. Next day-he’s gone 🙃
My wife had an affair with a co-worker for nearly two years, I found out about the other man , she kept on apologizing to every member of my family and they all begged me to forgive her, I moved back to our home and I still had that feeling something was off, I felt deep down that he I've been manipulated, gaslighted, and threatened on a daily basis. Some of the threats were she was going to kill me, My in-laws were also very verbally abusive towards me., I had to be ready for an argument everyday, Every day I was reminded that I am nothing and that I was not worth fighting for and that I don't meet the standards of being married to their daughter 😢. Recently, I found out she was cheating on me and had a boyfriend . After seeing the texts and pictures, I became dumb. I've been a good husband , thanks to this guy who's helped me to extract enough information from her device without traces and without her notice, he helped cloned her phone without physically touching it. I was able to access all of her texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and her long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him. His service is legal and certified his proof can be used in court, i already file for a divorce. Follow on Instagram. @Cypher_techn01 a message if you need more information to reach him on Instagram
My ex actually did reset years later and love bombed me, moved in, flower deliveries, trips… looked for real estate to purchase, all for him to discard me again 🤡🤡
All of the above. I haven’t been in contact for a week now. It’s tough, sometimes I miss him and the early stages of the relationship. It lasted like the wind. But I love myself and being with my ex taught me how to value and love myself.
He does the love bombing every single time we get back together... it's been 3xs...this time he stopped the love bombing and the silent treatment & this time listening to you now i know the patterns he has...so im finally done with it...bcuz if i keep taking him back he'll keep doing the same thing...he does do every bit of what your talking about...love bombing that we are perfect for each other...then out of nowhere it stops then everything is my fault... like im just fed up with it
I have been emotionally discard but I think he's trying to treat me bad enough that I will leave because we are in the church and everyone thinks he is wonderful. I will not give him the satisfaction of me leaving so i can look like the enemy.
The more I watch your videos,the more puzzle pieces come together,like he was complaining that a lady at works husband didn't treat her well,but when he doesn't treat me well in the SAME way,he gets furious that I even noticed he made big excuses for his neglect,but SHE deserves to be treated like a teen princess,,hilarious to see him SQUIRM when caught in mind game,I appreciate your videos tremendously
Narcissists love to triangulate. Him specifically discussing that woman’s situation may mean that he is interested in her and may have already begun a relationship with her. Move on and be careful.
Wow you know these ppl have no idea this is going to happen. What you described Lee was exactly what happened. Wow I wish they taught in school what heathy relationships are. To many of don't ever experience good relationships.
My narcissistic husband filed for divorce after 7 years of putting up with his behavior. He rushed into the divorce. He told me he doesn’t love me nor want me he doesn’t touch me he acts as if he’s disgusted by me and told me I don’t deserve to carry his name. He’s rushed me out of the house only to ask me to take my time in leaving so that I can help him pay bills in his house.
When my Narc husband found out about my past it’s like my imperfection hit a little too soon because we were still in the love bombing stage. And at that point he started the nit picking everything that came out of my mouth. Now he’s to the point of just telling me to stfu and we’ve been married on/off for 6 years
My wife had an affair with a co-worker for nearly two years, I found out about the other man , she kept on apologizing to every member of my family and they all begged me to forgive her, I moved back to our home and I still had that feeling something was off, I felt deep down that he I've been manipulated, gaslighted, and threatened on a daily basis. Some of the threats were she was going to kill me, My in-laws were also very verbally abusive towards me., I had to be ready for an argument everyday, Every day I was reminded that I am nothing and that I was not worth fighting for and that I don't meet the standards of being married to their daughter 😢. Recently, I found out she was cheating on me and had a boyfriend . After seeing the texts and pictures, I became dumb. I've been a good husband , thanks to this guy who's helped me to extract enough information from her device without traces and without her notice, he helped cloned her phone without physically touching it. I was able to access all of her texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and her long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him. His service is legal and certified his proof can be used in court, i already file for a divorce. Follow on Instagram. @Cypher_techn01 a message if you need more information to reach him on Instagram
When this was happening to me , I was curious as to wtf was wrong with him so I kept questioning him ? When I had enough I walked away after 24 years ! He was crying and begging me to go back but I was done ! All because I tried to make him accountable for his lack of money . I don’t have to expose him as he is going to do it by himself as he is showing his true self with not wanting to sell the house when hundreds of people know I’ve worked hard and I am entitled to half and are asking me why he won’t sell ? I tell tell them ask him ? They won’t believe me anyway because he’s such a nice guy !
My wife had an affair with a co-worker for nearly two years, I found out about the other man , she kept on apologizing to every member of my family and they all begged me to forgive her, I moved back to our home and I still had that feeling something was off, I felt deep down that he I've been manipulated, gaslighted, and threatened on a daily basis. Some of the threats were she was going to kill me, My in-laws were also very verbally abusive towards me., I had to be ready for an argument everyday, Every day I was reminded that I am nothing and that I was not worth fighting for and that I don't meet the standards of being married to their daughter 😢. Recently, I found out she was cheating on me and had a boyfriend . After seeing the texts and pictures, I became dumb. I've been a good husband , thanks to this guy who's helped me to extract enough information from her device without traces and without her notice, he helped cloned her phone without physically touching it. I was able to access all of her texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and her long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him. His service is legal and certified his proof can be used in court, i already file for a divorce. Follow on Instagram. @Cypher_techn01 a message if you need more information to reach him on Instagram
My ex narc started to call and texting less. He was lying and cheating on me. I caught him and blocked/ no contact. And dropped my number too. Bye narcissist 👋
You’re soo spot on !! I didn’t know what was going on at the moment. But it didn’t take long to call things out as i saw them & as he was denying it, it was spot on. 26 years and i filed a divorce 5 weeks ago & we’re in the avoidance / no contact phase right now and of course the discard phase . It appears that they go from one phase to another rather quickly and i has no idea what was going on until i did . You don’t know a person until you divorce them and their true identity becomes crystal clear and you were none the wiser. Until you do. I’m processing all of your videos and you’re shedding light on what I’ve been going through and I’m going to continue the process of learning and living and working on myself and my future !! I’m 51, not interested in finding another man & not interested in one at this time . I think after 26 years I’ve got a lot of healing , growing , loving myself and being able to let go of all the pain and sadness & bitterness that I’ve been experiencing for the last 5 years. I now know what’s really happening and I’m grateful to have been able to learn it and be aware of it!!! Thank you !! I’ve got a long road ahead of me, I’m afraid but I’m going to be ok & stronger . Yes sir . Greedy , shady , discard , avoidance , checked out , no contact, taking all the money . I never knew . Cheating wasn’t in our relationship. But the other things are most definitely there . Keep doing your thing !!
I got yelled at for spilling my frappe on myself and the car at wawa the other day…in front of people….wiped off the car then threw the dirty rag at me to clean myself off…called me childish then blamed it on being tired and having a long drive to where we were going and me taking too long…. Was passive aggressive the whole day….hasn’t been home since…his kid is here with me…..
It was a look...I thought it was a mistake & shortly after, it was an intentional jab for arguing (which I don't do). 9 months, everything you said, everything. Um I am so good.
My best friend of 25 years began to do all of it after I gave birth because I don’t have the supply she needs anymore. She is knit-picking, distancing, being silent and speaking in a total different tone and manner. Still hesitant to believe narcissism is related to this 😔
Leave, look at them, size them up, shift the perspective tell them to pass the mirror and lay back, watch out for the inner or outter rage. So funny, but keep a smile on your face and just go with the flow.
Thank you so much. Now it all makes sense why he suddenly changed and what I did wrong. He once told me why I hide it from him but I didn't deceive him or what. It was just a pure misunderstanding. He isn't that open with his feelings and thoughts so how will I know? Both of us assumed. Since then he started to become emotionally distant and treat me worse every single day especially when I keep on asking for closure as I can't handle what he was doing to me--passive aggression, irritation on his face, disrespectful actions, less communication and time. Thus, I made a strong decision to be in no contact before he will totally physically discard me.
He broke up with me, but wanted ME to fight for the relationship. He still tries, so much so he contacts my mom. Went no contact Feb 2022... Goofy, insecure weirdo.. Good riddance I took out the trash!!! #Freedom
O M G WOW I lived through this but didn't understand what was happening. I was seeing all of this but couldn't understand what to do. Then he dumped me.
I did lie to protect me. Because I knew who he was. I was going to live my life until I found out for sure about him. So that's what you narcissist, get sometimes people outwit you and you don't even know it.😮
Its so frustrating cuase when i noticed and asked are you seeing someone else he always denied. And he just from one day to the next started to be vicious and mean and I was in total panic had no clue what was happening and I was trying to improve find out what i did wrong etc etc It is so cruel what they do. And we as victims cant just say oh okay he is discarting me so I better just end this and leave cause it wont get any better, after you have been love bombed and together for years. They always win Its is…. Abusive
When I turned out to be pregnant he said Omg now I wont be number 1 anymore. Wtf?! I thought he was joking. When our baby came he was only engaging with her when he could show her off or do the Im a good dad act. Otherwise he wanted nothing to do with her. Good grades were his accomplishment, illness and other normal stuff where my bad in his view. I eventually kicked him out when she turned sseven. My daughter and me suffer severe cptsd from his years with us. She is 14 now. The damage is real. Lee the thing I struggled with the most is they always seem to say these outrageous things like the one I mentioned, and I always thought it were jokes cause they were too outrageous and he would always hring them jokingly. He had the giggles and funny attitude just like you in your clips. I watched a video of you and you said they always tell on themselves. Somehow. Can you do another video on how to spot the truth being laid out right in front of you disguised as jokes and funny little remarks? It was the most damaging and confusing element in being with him. Thank you 🙏🏻
My ex used to take me to dinner and yelled at me on the way to dropping me off at home. I’ve had several of those dinners and now I don’t even like going to dinner with men. 🥴😔
The two I’ve been discarded by seemed to make a turn towards that once they were confident I was going to stick around. Interestingly, they both went straight to triangulating me with other people as the first obvious (to me) discard move.
My ex devalued me when she was cheating and then started love bombing me again. Bought the book "the five love languages" for us to read together 😂😂 She couldnt sleep on the bed with me anymore and wanted one of us to sleep on the couch. Then it got back to really good again for like 2 or 3 weeks before and while she left in vacation. But my eyes were open and i couldnt let go of how she changed up and became really mean.
I went through that for almost 3 years. I ignored my gut about his affair. When he was doing that to me it was because they would breakup. He saw all her red flags and just couldn’t break his obsession so their toxic childish asses would get back together. They’re definitely in a trauma bond too but I got out. Know it’s just trying to get our divorce done cause I’m having to do it in my own. Don’t have the money to get a lawyer and I’m not the book smart type of person.
We were together for 15 years, married for 14 this august cause I kept believing what bread crumbs he was giving me. I just couldn’t believe anyone that I thought I knew could really be that evil.
Looking back He put it out there during our first day together. “ Oh,” “ Wooops!” “ I said WHAT last night?” “ …. How did we get here?” I joked around to getting him to let me “stay forever and never leave”… his line on drive me home from the party night, 4/20/2015 What a mistake on my part.., But, me, few social skills. It took another 242 mornings before I caught on.
Exactly like my estranged soon to be divorced husband ...he discarded me and our son as though we dont exist and i have to start all over .its hard mentally and emotionally 😢
Can a narcissist see a new supply as perfect for years? My husband has been having an affair for 6 years and i never had a clue… is that why the affair has lasted so long??
My wife had an affair with a co-worker for nearly two years, I found out about the other man , she kept on apologizing to every member of my family and they all begged me to forgive her, I moved back to our home and I still had that feeling something was off, I felt deep down that he I've been manipulated, gaslighted, and threatened on a daily basis. Some of the threats were she was going to kill me, My in-laws were also very verbally abusive towards me., I had to be ready for an argument everyday, Every day I was reminded that I am nothing and that I was not worth fighting for and that I don't meet the standards of being married to their daughter 😢. Recently, I found out she was cheating on me and had a boyfriend . After seeing the texts and pictures, I became dumb. I've been a good husband , thanks to this guy who's helped me to extract enough information from her device without traces and without her notice, he helped cloned her phone without physically touching it. I was able to access all of her texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and her long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him. His service is legal and certified his proof can be used in court, i already file for a divorce. Follow on Instagram. @Cypher_techn01 a message if you need more information to reach him
@@idid138 thank you for that perspective. The funny thing is that we barely fought but he was totally disconnected as a husband. We were like friends/roommates but reflecting on what i know now, i felt like he showed her some kind of loyalty because he couldn’t even sleep next to me without giving me his back or going to the living room. That was were the emotional abuse kicked in. It was very hurtful and i know that he wanted to inflict that pain on me.
I left a narcissist when i only started to smell the devaluation phase. He was constantly trying to cross my boundaries, tried to make weird comments about my body or my place. His mask became really unstable and i saw the signs of his true face. I left and never going back. But I must say - it is difficult to leave someone you loved before they really harm you. You have to be wise and knowledgable enough to know what you are walking away from without it even happening. He doesn't even realize i'm gone, still trying to reverse hoover me. But peace is the gift i'm willing to give myself no matter what. Thank you Lee for helping me in this journey 💗
Very inspirational. Keep sharing your story 😃💐💖
I blocked mine on everything 31 days ago 💪 and he was saying stuff about my body and what I have to clean up in my house, I was F**K you dude you ain't going to come in my house and tell me what I need to do
Also when he lived here he would act like paying his part of the rent was taking care of me 😮 when he handed me the money every month he would say see how I take care of you😮.I told him that's not taking care of me that's you paying to live somewhere,
@@brandylovechild5548 yes girl!! My reaction was literally the same 😂 You deserve better💖
I completely understand I went through the same thing. I left and have not looked back I'm not going to lie it hurt like hell and I've cried alone several nights and days but I knew I would get better. It just hurts when it's so fresh but each day that passes without him in my life the pain of it all doesn't sting as much. If I can do it you can also. it took me 2 kids and 30 years. To be done and to let the spell of that narc wear off of me. God bless. Keep fighting the good fight.😊
Oh no. You have not heard it all until you hear this. When I met my exhusband I was in a great place in my life. I had paid 23 years on a 25 year mortgage. I was 2 years from paying off my mortgage when “Romeo” strolled into my life. “Romeo” had a massive alimony payment every month to his first wife. “Romeo” is high profile so the love bombing was extraordinary. This guy had one goal with me. He wanted me to sell my house to pay off his alimony to his first wife!!! He literally said …word for word…”but honey, just think of all of the cash flow that will free up if I don’t have to pay that alimony every month” . After 2 years of his constant dialogue and daily preaching about selling my house, he finally gave up. Like a snap of your fingers, the love bombing stopped and he became cold as ice. That led to 2 years of devaluation. I did not compromise. I did not sell my house. I must have told him NO 200 times. My advice….set boundaries and stay firm.
Way to stay locked into your truth!!
Yes, too many signs to name. ALL reflect emotional immaturity and irrational thinking. 🤔
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You’re right. You can smell the disconnect.
My ex before discard would pull away he would get quiet, half hugs, no kisses, less sex, and when he would get drunk he would go into a rage of nothing but complaints that didn’t make sense and would argue with me while I sat there and just stayed quiet because it was to exhausting to fight. He would sleep more and more then start talking about his future without me included. After I caught on and started pulling away when I learned his behavior he would try to pull me back in when he saw I was over it. It was a vicious cycle.
Oh the sleeping - and then rage for no reason … I’ve experienced that too
Oh wow, do you know why they sleep more and more? Maybe they are mentally tired from these tactics and emotionally disconnecting?
No, they're tired from having sex with other women
"They don't want to be apart from you, but they don't want to treat you right." What the Hell?🤔
After the love bombing phase which lasted less than 4 months my ex got so cold. No affection (kisses, hugs, sex) no communication, never wanted me around, visibly annoyed to be in my presence, only negative feedback and comments, genuinely did not like me or anything I said or did for almost a year. Then had the nerve to beg and cry when I finally left. First time and I’m hoping last time I ever date a narcissist.
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I literally just walked in your shoes 😢❤
Sis..your comment made me realize I'm not alone ...felt so ashamed as a woman begging for affection...made me feel small..wondering why we never go out...had me feeling like Quasimodo for a minute 😅😅..he left yesterday..I told him I'm Done...n I don't hurt...😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
The Narc ignores you, they make you invisible
Treats you like you are soooo boring
Who in their right mind would wanna make it work once you discover all of their flaws and they're intentions are evil.
Lee, you're doing a good thing. My father is a diagnosed narcissist with two other cluster b disorders. He's been in therapy for it for over 30 years and he has consistently gotten better and better over the years.
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Wow. That's so so amazing! It takes consistent hard work and the intention to be a better you!
Going through this now. The rage, the criticism and nitpicking, the devaluing and degradation. I cant seem to do anything right. No compliments (for years) yet everytime we go out, strnagers immediately compliment me. After years of putting up with his train wreck of a life (you'd shake your head at the BS I dealt with) he now tells me he's outgrown me. It hurts now but i know deep down inside hes doing us both a favor by finally choosing to walk away.
Going through this exact same thing right now… you wouldn’t believe what I’ve put up with… and now I’m not mature enough for him and I’m not the type of female he’s attracted to… he won’t call me a woman because he says I’m not
@myeshia73091 Wow. Just wow. I know your pain. I'm sure could trade war stories and we'd each shake our heads in disbelief. Why we continue(d) to endure it for so long is bigger and better question for US to focus on instead of "why they do what they do". My narcissis says hrs not going to change so there's no more hope for that
😢😢 woow is there an outbreak. It's my 5th day of being discarded physically. 4 years together.. He cut me off within a day. No conversation no closure. Yesterday they wrote a text. Why are you angry and you are the one who made me feel like shit. That demon. As I was in deep pain the first 3 days couldn't even work or cook. He was going on normally with his business like I never even existed. I geuss the pain is more about having being fooled and not having felt enough.
ME TOO! Same story! I’m trying my absolute best to completely detach, move on and be FREE!
Yes they will start an unnecessary argument on simple stupid bs just so they can be away to be with the new supply and come back with I'm sorry bs lies only because they bored with the new supply and needs to check on the empathy person make a sure he/she left its all mind games with these insecure demons
I discarded her while she was on vacation after she gave me another silent treatment. I had enough of the games especially when we had multiple conversations where she agreed we needed to communicate better 😂😂😂
oh my
Good move, hopefully less drama too.😅
They are too immature and insecure to communicate
They so childish..temper tantrum adults
Omg, I am having the same problem with my person, or that demonic witch. She's nuts always switching things up on me. It's crazy. I have never dealt with crap like this and it's hard to disconnect from her because she Hoovers me back in..
"Their chaotic life puzzle" Brilliant observation. Such toxic hot messes ☠
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And they be bums from the start...talking about flaws😂😂😂
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Hmph! Preach 💯💯💯
😂😂😂😂😂 factssss
🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
They future fake you
Say it again!!! The future he sees does not coincide with the way the relationship is now.
Yup. When my "friend" realized I wasn't perfect, he started dropping these ambiguous comments that insinuated that I was bad, not just human, bad person. And then the nit picking started on everything I said. He totally pulled back and was passive. Finally, he blew up when I tried to ask real questions. It was too much for him and he discarded me in a text. His self-righteousness, thoughtlessness, carelessness, immaturity is just disgusting. It makes me never want to try again with anyone.
Yep, my former best friend would give me the silent treatment and ghost me
yes he turned into a person I didn't even know...a mean heartless man was all he really was.
My ex told me that he realized that he was mad at me (and abusive) because he thought being w me would change him and it didn’t. He was a secret meth addict and also on the DL.
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😢
same with my husband. secretly having sex with a man and smoking crack
Wow! Glad you got away. Stay safe.
I think mine is on the dl
This answered some questions I had in the back of my mind about some mean things he said and did - which caused me to pull back from him - before we really started to go downhill. He says it is all my fault, but he insulted, demeaned, baited, bullied, and even caused me some physical pain, before I pulled back to protect myself (on many levels) enough that the fracture was noticeable - which then gave him the cover he wanted to claim that I wasn't giving him enough attention, and that our problems were driven by me and thus my fault. I came into this marriage with the intention of growing old with him, and I had to give up a LOT to make him happy to keep it going. Meanwhile, he hasn't given up anything, but has actually in a much better position because of my support, and is trying to find a younger and better replacement for me - and is highly encouraged to do so by his enabling family. They gleefully encourage him to destroy his marriage while keeping their own relationships intact - with actually toxic partners - but he doesn't have the sense to see the hypocrisy. I hope his next marriage finds him his equal . . .
Scary how similar your situation is too mines. 😢
@@SheliyahShalom Very, very sorry to hear that. Hopefully, we both have freedom, and much brighter and happier days ahead. ❤
Guys, all of you here... I'm so sorry to hear you went through this... my situation is very similar. I relocated from my country to his and then again relocated for his career... being promised family, kids...and full support of him... got nothing but revenges, disrespect, financial, emotional and physical abuse...
Yet, I was told that it was fault because after 5 years he had no plans regarding our future, based on his opinion "I should be chilled and just enjoy my life"...as the plans regarding us were apparently not necessary, I should stay forever and close my mouth while being gaslighted, cheated on... lied...
Idk how long it will take to recover from such desperation 😣
I wish everyone peace & see that incredible self-worth & find that love you crave within yourself ❤🙏
Don't worry, from there it is only downhill. They destroy themselves in the end, just move away from his path and let him be an idiot that he is 😂😂😂
His few friends, big family and many coworkers are totally manipulated by him. They are little puppets on a string to him. He controls them all by buying them trips and tickets to concerts and football games etc. They don’t have to deal with him 24/7 so they don’t see the person behind the mask. What goes around comes around.
I can't wait until I'm discarded by Narc wife after 10 abusive years!
They’re like the god damn monsters in Scooby Doo lmao!
Whether you're a narcissist or not once the trust has been broken in a relationship it's hard to start over. It takes two to work out relationship issues. And with me I shut down a lot because my partner won't work on our relationship but talking all this self love for themselves. Start arguments just to tell me they are not going to argue with me but start the damn argument. Playing mind games. Then when I say it's almost like a high school relationship they say well it's better than being old and miserable. I'm 12 years older. I see the discard at this point. We have been dealing with one anothers BS for 13 years and I'm ready for change. They are never available, always an excuse, says it's because they don't want to argue but do things to argue. I'm over this spin cycle.
Yup... I complimented a narc once, and they immediately turned, looked at my face then my hair, and proceeded to insult my hair color. I was just realizing that that was just a narc just narcin'. I ignored the bait and kept it moving. I couldn't believe it tho!
Great advice - just a narc just narcin' 😂
Ignore and keep on walkin'
@@katem1472😆😆😆
I complimented a narc before and he blew up on me saying he doesn’t need validation and how secure he is. I said “gotcha! Will never compliment you again!”
So true, my toxic person would tell me he loves me everyday 3 or 4 times a day. All of a sudden it felt like i had to beg for him to say those words and when I asked whats wrong or if I've done anything, he would just ghost me. I noticed this pattern would happen every time I tell him no I don't have something he's looking for (money). He always comes back months later blaming me for keeping him away from the kids like i'm the one that went silent. :(
Thats why I feel cold around them.
Facts. He doesn’t compliment me ever. I can never give him a compliment or tell him something sweet without him tearing my words apart and making me regret even speaking.
Omg “regret even speaking”. I know that feeling way too well. I can barely complete a verbal thought anymore because I’m learning to just stop while I’m ahead. Sometimes it works. But reading your words literally gave me chills. It’s so accurate
I woke up one morning and greeted the emotional discard. Overnight!! After I left, I got a text - "You could have made ME (the narc) so happy, but YOU took that away". Mr. Hammond describes it perfectly. Be safe, but leave.
There is nothing to add. You described everything perfectly. Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
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for all that to happen Did you ever cross case when people end up getting back with the same person that put them through all that hurt and pain? Eventually, made it work.
@@JoelFields-tf1mc I like your thought. Really I do. But people don´t change easily - especially if they don´t want and don´t see the problem in themselves. ... So I am sorry but if you have to deal with a narcissist the chance to have a happy-ending is like zero.
The Abuse Gets worse they start argument's to Be with the new supply my ex narrissist withheld intimacy he was to tried Getting his needs met with the new supply the reverse discard he was treating me so badly I had to go no contact completely or not make it Best desicion ever although it was not Easy at the time I needed support and guidance from someone who specialises in narrrisstic abuse to Break the trama bond and have someone to talk to u never want to go through it again the worse experience of my life take care 💯❤️
My ex started devaluing me after she started cheating on me then went back to love bombing. (Didn't know she was cheating until I put all the pieces together after we broke up)
My wife had an affair with a co-worker for nearly two years, I found out about the other man , she kept on apologizing to every member of my family and they all begged me to forgive her, I moved back to our home and I still had that feeling something was off, I felt deep down that he I've been manipulated, gaslighted, and threatened on a daily basis. Some of the threats were she was going to kill me, My in-laws were also very verbally abusive towards me., I had to be ready for an argument everyday, Every day I was reminded that I am nothing and that I was not worth fighting for and that I don't meet the standards of being married to their daughter 😢. Recently, I found out she was cheating on me and had a boyfriend . After seeing the texts and pictures, I became dumb. I've been a good husband , thanks to this guy who's helped me to extract enough information from her device without traces and without her notice, he helped cloned her phone without physically touching it. I was able to access all of her texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and her long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him. His service is legal and certified his proof can be used in court, i already file for a divorce. Follow on Instagram. @Cypher_techn01 a message if you need more information to reach him
I’m surprised that a narcissist can be self aware like you are . And you are right saying all the things. I m a victim of narcissistic abuse and I found this all happen to me the same as you are saying 😮. Thank you
Money.
Yes this is true, but also the victim of narcissism could go silent and withdraw from sex and etc.. so a victim could also be seen as a narcissist on the flip side. Everything that they do to you and how u react can be used against you to make u seem like the narcissist
I know I did the stupid stuff to him that he did to me.. both husbands did stupid n treated me badly.. I'm still trying to heal. I love myself I need peace of mind. Both times I lost myself. Tried to date again n ex husbands daughter pops up n says talk to Dad. He was still living on People's couches 5 yrs after the divorce. What a piece of work. I'm doing good I don't want to deal with him. Remember after they mess up they will blame you for what they did to make you finally leave. Loved him since I was 19. 40 yrs later he is still doing bad and expects me to take him in...
I had to look long n hard at myself too sis. Until I realized. I never knew this word untill I met this man..he's the Narcissist. .I was always me..n there wasent a damm thing wrong with me. I was just n Imperfect person...never tried to hurt him. But he hurt me in ways I'm ashamed to say...this is my first day by myself. N I'm already happy 😊😊
I was sick, home with a temperature and he said he wanted to see me before he goes on holiday. He brought me flowers, cuddled with me, stayed with me all evening and seemed so kind and caring. Said he wants to see me again soon and that he’ll miss me. Next day-he’s gone 🙃
That may just be an a**hole not necessarily a narcissist.
My wife had an affair with a co-worker for nearly two years, I found out about the other man , she kept on apologizing to every member of my family and they all begged me to forgive her, I moved back to our home and I still had that feeling something was off, I felt deep down that he I've been manipulated, gaslighted, and threatened on a daily basis. Some of the threats were she was going to kill me, My in-laws were also very verbally abusive towards me., I had to be ready for an argument everyday, Every day I was reminded that I am nothing and that I was not worth fighting for and that I don't meet the standards of being married to their daughter 😢. Recently, I found out she was cheating on me and had a boyfriend . After seeing the texts and pictures, I became dumb. I've been a good husband , thanks to this guy who's helped me to extract enough information from her device without traces and without her notice, he helped cloned her phone without physically touching it. I was able to access all of her texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and her long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him. His service is legal and certified his proof can be used in court, i already file for a divorce. Follow on Instagram. @Cypher_techn01 a message if you need more information to reach him on Instagram
@@shelleypoo76 both 😂
My ex actually did reset years later and love bombed me, moved in, flower deliveries, trips… looked for real estate to purchase, all for him to discard me again 🤡🤡
All of the above. I haven’t been in contact for a week now. It’s tough, sometimes I miss him and the early stages of the relationship. It lasted like the wind. But I love myself and being with my ex taught me how to value and love myself.
You are Soooo On Point!!! Thank you for sharing your insights ❤❤❤
You are so welcome
I have listened to you the whole night,can't believe all the tell tell signs he is pointing out,All on point.God bless you for all your info
Could you do a video on the topic what happens when a narcissist runs out of supply or is unable to find new supply?
Oh that’s a good idea!!!
Narcissistic collaps!
He starts to back away from you
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Isn't that truly the best part is when they finally discard you. Now your free. Let them go do their thing.
Man Lee. I’m checking all the boxes over here on my ex. You’re literally describing my relationship in your videos.
Same here !!! will be filing for divorce tomorrow. Can’t wait to get away from this devil ?
He does the love bombing every single time we get back together... it's been 3xs...this time he stopped the love bombing and the silent treatment & this time listening to you now i know the patterns he has...so im finally done with it...bcuz if i keep taking him back he'll keep doing the same thing...he does do every bit of what your talking about...love bombing that we are perfect for each other...then out of nowhere it stops then everything is my fault... like im just fed up with it
I have been emotionally discard but I think he's trying to treat me bad enough that I will leave because we are in the church and everyone thinks he is wonderful. I will not give him the satisfaction of me leaving so i can look like the enemy.
I'd leave anyway!
He used to say, “You’ve changed! You’re not the person you were in the beginning.” 💔
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Every time I watched your video, No skip ads. ..
My one way of saying thank you to you❤❤❤
♥️♥️♥️♥️
The more I watch your videos,the more puzzle pieces come together,like he was complaining that a lady at works husband didn't treat her well,but when he doesn't treat me well in the SAME way,he gets furious that I even noticed he made big excuses for his neglect,but SHE deserves to be treated like a teen princess,,hilarious to see him SQUIRM when caught in mind game,I appreciate your videos tremendously
Narcissists love to triangulate. Him specifically discussing that woman’s situation may mean that he is interested in her and may have already begun a relationship with her. Move on and be careful.
Wow, can't believe that you're a Narc and helping others heal. I could cry. That is a beautiful thing . Ty❤
Wow you know these ppl have no idea this is going to happen. What you described Lee was exactly what happened. Wow I wish they taught in school what heathy relationships are. To many of don't ever experience good relationships.
How can they make you feel so good in the beginning. Pure skill?
WOW you really put this in perspective. I'm smiling again just understanding what happened. Stay blessed!
You are so on point. This is where my husband is absent of the physical abuse. You need a nap 💤
😢very much relatable and your video helped me to validate all of the exact things which happened
I like your honesty. You are helping me immensely.
My narcissistic husband filed for divorce after 7 years of putting up with his behavior. He rushed into the divorce. He told me he doesn’t love me nor want me he doesn’t touch me he acts as if he’s disgusted by me and told me I don’t deserve to carry his name. He’s rushed me out of the house only to ask me to take my time in leaving so that I can help him pay bills in his house.
They actually thought I was someone I wasn't? Then, they blamed and punished me for being human instead of their puppet? Crazy, but true.
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Don't fall for the family friend trick but this family friend texting them messages saying can you talk 🚩
They are such liers they are good at telling you everything that they think you want to hear!!
When my Narc husband found out about my past it’s like my imperfection hit a little too soon because we were still in the love bombing stage. And at that point he started the nit picking everything that came out of my mouth. Now he’s to the point of just telling me to stfu and we’ve been married on/off for 6 years
Bang on target! What a realtime post!
Yea then you discard you they come crying, stalking and trying to immatate you and try to get the next person to look & do everything you did😂😂😂
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When really, they are just looking for someone to allow them to act the same way uninhibited.
Yes, super creepy!
My wife had an affair with a co-worker for nearly two years, I found out about the other man , she kept on apologizing to every member of my family and they all begged me to forgive her, I moved back to our home and I still had that feeling something was off, I felt deep down that he I've been manipulated, gaslighted, and threatened on a daily basis. Some of the threats were she was going to kill me, My in-laws were also very verbally abusive towards me., I had to be ready for an argument everyday, Every day I was reminded that I am nothing and that I was not worth fighting for and that I don't meet the standards of being married to their daughter 😢. Recently, I found out she was cheating on me and had a boyfriend . After seeing the texts and pictures, I became dumb. I've been a good husband , thanks to this guy who's helped me to extract enough information from her device without traces and without her notice, he helped cloned her phone without physically touching it. I was able to access all of her texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and her long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him. His service is legal and certified his proof can be used in court, i already file for a divorce. Follow on Instagram. @Cypher_techn01 a message if you need more information to reach him on Instagram
Its funny how you get that deep feeling that this person is very far from me and that they don't give a f*ck about you! You feel it!!!🤦🏽🤦🏽
Yes I was watching him talk to wimen ,like in a movie.
When this was happening to me , I was curious as to wtf was wrong with him so I kept questioning him ? When I had enough I walked away after 24 years ! He was crying and begging me to go back but I was done ! All because I tried to make him accountable for his lack of money . I don’t have to expose him as he is going to do it by himself as he is showing his true self with not wanting to sell the house when hundreds of people know I’ve worked hard and I am entitled to half and are asking me why he won’t sell ? I tell tell them ask him ? They won’t believe me anyway because he’s such a nice guy !
They will stop answear the Phone.
yep
up..... mine got a second phone ....weird ....for what reason I do not know.
My wife had an affair with a co-worker for nearly two years, I found out about the other man , she kept on apologizing to every member of my family and they all begged me to forgive her, I moved back to our home and I still had that feeling something was off, I felt deep down that he I've been manipulated, gaslighted, and threatened on a daily basis. Some of the threats were she was going to kill me, My in-laws were also very verbally abusive towards me., I had to be ready for an argument everyday, Every day I was reminded that I am nothing and that I was not worth fighting for and that I don't meet the standards of being married to their daughter 😢. Recently, I found out she was cheating on me and had a boyfriend . After seeing the texts and pictures, I became dumb. I've been a good husband , thanks to this guy who's helped me to extract enough information from her device without traces and without her notice, he helped cloned her phone without physically touching it. I was able to access all of her texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and her long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him. His service is legal and certified his proof can be used in court, i already file for a divorce. Follow on Instagram. @Cypher_techn01 a message if you need more information to reach him on Instagram
@@tracysprenger8622 If it were me that happened to with my ex
I would definitely assume he’s hiding something
You helped me a lot. Thank you. I can now be sure that I am a good woman. I just picked a narcissist ex.
Your empath antennas cracked me up and the way you made yourself laugh doing it was too cute lol 😂
My ex narc started to call and texting less. He was lying and cheating on me. I caught him and blocked/ no contact. And dropped my number too. Bye narcissist 👋
Am just happy to be free.
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My covert narcissist followed this EXACT path. It’s uncanny!
You are talking about my narcissist husband,my current situation
You’re soo spot on !! I didn’t know what was going on at the moment. But it didn’t take long to call things out as i saw them & as he was denying it, it was spot on. 26 years and i filed a divorce 5 weeks ago & we’re in the avoidance / no contact phase right now and of course the discard phase . It appears that they go from one phase to another rather quickly and i has no idea what was going on until i did . You don’t know a person until you divorce them and their true identity becomes crystal clear and you were none the wiser. Until you do. I’m processing all of your videos and you’re shedding light on what I’ve been going through and I’m going to continue the process of learning and living and working on myself and my future !! I’m 51, not interested in finding another man & not interested in one at this time . I think after 26 years I’ve got a lot of healing , growing , loving myself and being able to let go of all the pain and sadness & bitterness that I’ve been experiencing for the last 5 years. I now know what’s really happening and I’m grateful to have been able to learn it and be aware of it!!! Thank you !! I’ve got a long road ahead of me, I’m afraid but I’m going to be ok & stronger . Yes sir . Greedy , shady , discard , avoidance , checked out , no contact, taking all the money . I never knew . Cheating wasn’t in our relationship. But the other things are most definitely there . Keep doing your thing !!
The love bombing can stop overnight it is just so sudden or sometimes it can happen a little more slowly if they haven’t reidolised a new source yet
I got yelled at for spilling my frappe on myself and the car at wawa the other day…in front of people….wiped off the car then threw the dirty rag at me to clean myself off…called me childish then blamed it on being tired and having a long drive to where we were going and me taking too long…. Was passive aggressive the whole day….hasn’t been home since…his kid is here with me…..
It was a look...I thought it was a mistake & shortly after, it was an intentional jab for arguing (which I don't do). 9 months, everything you said, everything. Um I am so good.
My best friend of 25 years began to do all of it after I gave birth because I don’t have the supply she needs anymore. She is knit-picking, distancing, being silent and speaking in a total different tone and manner. Still hesitant to believe narcissism is related to this 😔
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Leave, look at them, size them up, shift the perspective tell them to pass the mirror and lay back, watch out for the inner or outter rage. So funny, but keep a smile on your face and just go with the flow.
Hahaha on the little ant antennas!! Sooo fkn spot on
Thank you so much. Now it all makes sense why he suddenly changed and what I did wrong. He once told me why I hide it from him but I didn't deceive him or what. It was just a pure misunderstanding. He isn't that open with his feelings and thoughts so how will I know? Both of us assumed. Since then he started to become emotionally distant and treat me worse every single day especially when I keep on asking for closure as I can't handle what he was doing to me--passive aggression, irritation on his face, disrespectful actions, less communication and time. Thus, I made a strong decision to be in no contact before he will totally physically discard me.
stay strong on your journey
It happened exactly this way to me, over a period of 28 years.
He broke up with me, but wanted ME to fight for the relationship. He still tries, so much so he contacts my mom. Went no contact Feb 2022... Goofy, insecure weirdo.. Good riddance I took out the trash!!! #Freedom
FREEDOM!!!
O M G WOW I lived through this but didn't understand what was happening. I was seeing all of this but couldn't understand what to do. Then he dumped me.
6:44 Spot on! And everybody else is wondering what happened??? The hypocrisy is off the Richter 🙄😒
I did lie to protect me. Because I knew who he was. I was going to live my life until I found out for sure about him. So that's what you narcissist, get sometimes people outwit you and you don't even know it.😮
THEY SAY YOU ARE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT, THATS CUTE, FUNNY, AND WHO CARES.
Its so frustrating cuase when i noticed and asked are you seeing someone else he always denied. And he just from one day to the next started to be vicious and mean and I was in total panic had no clue what was happening and I was trying to improve find out what i did wrong etc etc It is so cruel what they do. And we as victims cant just say oh okay he is discarting me so I better just end this and leave cause it wont get any better, after you have been love bombed and together for years.
They always win
Its is…. Abusive
When I turned out to be pregnant he said Omg now I wont be number 1 anymore. Wtf?! I thought he was joking. When our baby came he was only engaging with her when he could show her off or do the Im a good dad act. Otherwise he wanted nothing to do with her. Good grades were his accomplishment, illness and other normal stuff where my bad in his view. I eventually kicked him out when she turned sseven. My daughter and me suffer severe cptsd from his years with us. She is 14 now. The damage is real.
Lee the thing I struggled with the most is they always seem to say these outrageous things like the one I mentioned, and I always thought it were jokes cause they were too outrageous and he would always hring them jokingly. He had the giggles and funny attitude just like you in your clips. I watched a video of you and you said they always tell on themselves. Somehow. Can you do another video on how to spot the truth being laid out right in front of you disguised as jokes and funny little remarks? It was the most damaging and confusing element in being with him. Thank you 🙏🏻
My ex used to take me to dinner and yelled at me on the way to dropping me off at home. I’ve had several of those dinners and now I don’t even like going to dinner with men. 🥴😔
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The two I’ve been discarded by seemed to make a turn towards that once they were confident I was going to stick around. Interestingly, they both went straight to triangulating me with other people as the first obvious (to me) discard move.
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Present thanks for inspirational eye opener thanks
My pleasure
My ex devalued me when she was cheating and then started love bombing me again.
Bought the book "the five love languages" for us to read together 😂😂
She couldnt sleep on the bed with me anymore and wanted one of us to sleep on the couch. Then it got back to really good again for like 2 or 3 weeks before and while she left in vacation.
But my eyes were open and i couldnt let go of how she changed up and became really mean.
I went through that for almost 3 years. I ignored my gut about his affair. When he was doing that to me it was because they would breakup. He saw all her red flags and just couldn’t break his obsession so their toxic childish asses would get back together. They’re definitely in a trauma bond too but I got out. Know it’s just trying to get our divorce done cause I’m having to do it in my own. Don’t have the money to get a lawyer and I’m not the book smart type of person.
We were together for 15 years, married for 14 this august cause I kept believing what bread crumbs he was giving me. I just couldn’t believe anyone that I thought I knew could really be that evil.
Theres nothing like that. My love for my husband do not diminished but gaining respect along the way. The narcissist is you.
YOU HEAR IT ALL, yet they constantly.hang around
Looking back
He put it out there during our first day together.
“ Oh,” “ Wooops!”
“ I said WHAT last night?”
“ …. How did we get here?”
I joked around to getting him to let me “stay forever and never leave”… his line on drive me home from the party night, 4/20/2015
What a mistake on my part..,
But, me, few social skills.
It took another 242 mornings before I caught on.
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Is it conscious? Do they know what they are doing?
I came across NS ig page and she has a 💍 in her bio now. 😂😂 poor girl. #trapped
Wow this was amazing
"It will work...but it don't work."🤣😂
You are spot on and you are so right! 💯
Exactly like my estranged soon to be divorced husband ...he discarded me and our son as though we dont exist and i have to start all over .its hard mentally and emotionally 😢
You got this girl, I'm so sorry. 🙏❤️🕊️
Hang in there beautiful 💙
Yep i could not ever talk in my own living room, then he talked about me to her.
It is easy to excuse their unexceptable behaviours when they've been giving you reactive abuse periodically.
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Can a narcissist see a new supply as perfect for years? My husband has been having an affair for 6 years and i never had a clue… is that why the affair has lasted so long??
She was only part time, you were his whipping boy. And he didn't care about her either to use her like that for 6 years.
My wife had an affair with a co-worker for nearly two years, I found out about the other man , she kept on apologizing to every member of my family and they all begged me to forgive her, I moved back to our home and I still had that feeling something was off, I felt deep down that he I've been manipulated, gaslighted, and threatened on a daily basis. Some of the threats were she was going to kill me, My in-laws were also very verbally abusive towards me., I had to be ready for an argument everyday, Every day I was reminded that I am nothing and that I was not worth fighting for and that I don't meet the standards of being married to their daughter 😢. Recently, I found out she was cheating on me and had a boyfriend . After seeing the texts and pictures, I became dumb. I've been a good husband , thanks to this guy who's helped me to extract enough information from her device without traces and without her notice, he helped cloned her phone without physically touching it. I was able to access all of her texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and her long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him. His service is legal and certified his proof can be used in court, i already file for a divorce. Follow on Instagram. @Cypher_techn01 a message if you need more information to reach him
@@idid138 thank you for that perspective. The funny thing is that we barely fought but he was totally disconnected as a husband. We were like friends/roommates but reflecting on what i know now, i felt like he showed her some kind of loyalty because he couldn’t even sleep next to me without giving me his back or going to the living room. That was were the emotional abuse kicked in. It was very hurtful and i know that he wanted to inflict that pain on me.