BATTLETECH: EPISODE 1 - TEX IS A BAD MERCENARY
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- Опубликовано: 29 авг 2024
- Battletech, o' sweet battletech. The tabletop of choice for a young Autistic man such as I. Back before games workshop ever stole a dime from my wallet, there was Battletech with its wonderful hexes, over the top system, and insane depth. God bless you. Welcome back Battletech, I've missed you.
EPIDEMIC SOUND ATTRIBUTION
Production Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound www.epidemicsou...
Tex walking outside and seeing a group of women.
"Boy, those are some weird looking men."
Man i couldnt stop laughing at tex's inability to tell they were all women.
It wasn't even hidden. That's the best part.
@Heath Dante I too like to be scammed.
Its ok Tex, I too was confused about all those hairless men
Rule number 1 on the internet: women don’t exist.
Lady: "I still don't know if you fought for honor..."
Tex: "C-Bills!"
Lady: "..or for the thrill of it."
Tex: "C-Bills!!"
Lady: "For belief in my cause..."
Tex: "C-Bills!!!"
Lady: "..or just in my money."
Tex: "CORRECT!"
Favorite line in the entire series. XD
Thanks, mine too
Kamea: *Monologueing about honor, nobility, etc.*
Tex: "Yeah, yeah, *pay my fees, fucko!"*
"Commander, the lasers on the spider are all wrecked beyond repair."
"I see, mount them back on the spider!"
I love how it took Tex 4 minutes to figure out he was only looking at women portraits.
Its easy to be confused. Sometimes a man loses his mind on a quest for beard.
Kamea: Tex who do you fight for?
Tex: C-bills.....
Kamea: Why do you fight Tex?
Tex: Uh....C-bills? And Uh...Booze?
This, is true.
and booty
Well, there was really nothing else worth it to fight for.
good to hear that Tex would fit in well with my merc company, Hrad's Huns
@@theblackpantslegion By the way how is the missy? I heard you were with an clanner elemental?
while choosing your perso .. tex: no beard in the futur
me: YOU ARE IN THE SHE SIDE DAMNIT
That was making me laugh my ass off.
Yea to fair fair the women are fugly
Haha I was laughing too.
She... You're on she damnit!
to be fair only half of the "she's" looked like a she, others i did see as men too, so i too thought he was on general faces list...
Disregard history, acquire C-Bills.
A fucking Men. The meek shall inherit zilch.
@@theblackpantslegion The meek shall inherit WHATEVER THEY'RE DAMN WELL GIVEN. AND BE GRATEFUL FOR IT.
That's the way of the mercenary. I took contracts of one side only to go take another from one of their enemies.
History doesn't give me and my men food, C-Bills on the other hand.
Not sure why Tex left with exactly $0 payout there... [spoilers below, watch the vid first]
I mean, they refused to pay and killed one mech and possibly the pilot inside (campaign rules say that a GM can overrule death via 1d6 after the battle, 1 means out of luck (dead), 2 means permanently crippled (involuntarily retired, might live on as an instructor or other kind of expert, but neither tech nor any kind of soldier/pilot), 3 means 3d6 weeks of recovery and 1 loss on both gunner and pilot skills etc.
but most video games ignore that, reasoning that restoring a save is trivially easy.
Wait, where was I? Oh, the payout. As the of the little extra battle, the BPL could easily have gotten an alternate payout, i.e. those mining platforms (or at least the most expensive parts if the platforms are building-sized), all salvage from the turrets, vehicles, and finally all personnel on site. They wanted the mechs, why not take the personnel until they pay up?
Agreed, that might still sell for considerably less (who wants treacherous personnel like that, or mining equipment from a sketchy source), but the wreckage (which is mostly mech parts) might be quite useful itself. And IIRC, the _Galleon_ runs on aneutronic fusion, just like mechs.
I still get goosebumps watching the intro. Best way to introduce a game
Hell yea man, true battletech fans know just how much of a struggle everything is. Hopefully HBS made enough to make a BT2! o7
@@mechwarrior13 Sadly they sacked it off for something else. 😟
I still love how the uncles entire stick is "The lady who isn't even queen yet hasn't done anything for our nation so clearly shes incompetent so I have to take absolute power as dictator."
there have been worse excuses from history
Kamea's stance isn't much better, "Daddy was in charge so I should be in charge now that he's dead."
@@lolroflroflcakes um... that's kind of how feudalism works
@@theblackpantslegion Ja! Sad thing is... I can actually see his point to an extent. I see it as he's fighting to preserve the nation, and she's fighting to preserve their way of life.
Gee, it's almost like he was planning on this and decided to use it as an excuse to take power for himself!
Ah yes, the infamous drunk Texan-Bavarian mercenary of House Steiner...
Mein Gott! There are _bees_ the cockpit!
@@Sgt_Glory Oh shit! We built our hive in Tex's mech! *Buzz*
>Jokes about MWO's color prices
>Proceeds to pick black, one of the few colors that doesn't require premium money in MWO
I don't know why I found this funny.
MWO's pay wall is rough at times. But it can still be fun with friends.
@@theblackpantslegion I find MWOs menu system and lack of interface tutoriald more of a wall tbh.
Thanks ADHD for not enough focus to figure out how to get a starting mech and into the actual game once the piloting tutorials are completed...
"And that's why you don't bathe a cat."
Oh, you know, twelfth time's the charm...
I laugh out loud at that "don't bathe a cat" comment XD XD XD
You hit on one of the things that I love about the BT universe. The attention to detail and depth of the universe. For example, I can tell you how much a bicycle costs in the Capellan Confederation. Which is useful to know after the FedRats steal all of our petroleum.
The constant ignoring of the firing arcs is *_painful_* to watch
*spider runs up and kicks Tex in the shin*
"oh shit, kung fu eh?"
*immediately headbutts spider*
I don't know why but I found that fucking hilarious.
Probably one of the best intro cinematics in gaming, it perfectly explains the history of battle tech in less than 4 minutes without using any dialogue. The gameplay is a bit stale after 240hrs but it’s still one of my favourites.
I would like to point out that it only gets stale after 200 hours. Because most games these days get old well before then.
@@asimplenobody7797 and then there's the mods on nexus...
And, while making a total hash of the timelines and having a hard time at upgrading the glitch-prone AI, I love the Rouge Tech total overhaul mod pack by the absolutely awesome Lady Alecto (Just don't ask her 'when xx will be fixed or yy will be added, or any similiar questions half a thousand people has already asked or whined about without first providing an attempt at a sollution she and her team might not have known about)
Have you revisited it since the dlc's? More missions, more mechs, more weapons... truly dlcs done right for a game already done right.
Ouch! This was seriously painful to watch, especially the last battle. Earlier, Tex had an objective to shut down turrets by destroying their generator. Later, he is targeted by a bunch of turrets, and he is basically STANDING ON TOP OF THE GENERATOR, and the game keeps reminding him he could target it with red lines, yet he stupidly attacks the turrets one by one, taking a lot of damage, losing a mech, and killing a warrior!
Typical steiner xD
OMG! TEX NEARLY BECAME THE BEARDED LADY!!! *ROFLAMO*
"Someone who is chipper, she's ready for fun" if I had a waking tank I would be too
This is my Game of the Year, for last Year! I have been playing Battletech since 86, including the computer games.
Fun game. I started playing Battletech when it was first called Battledroids. Years later never had people to play with, but my unit had pretty much retired with 5 - 7 regiments and left the inner sphere.
Tex
Tex look left
Tex to your left
Look left tex
Tex
Tex to the left
Look left tex
Tex. Left.
Tex, your pronoun.
Tex, you're just looking at theoretically female faces.
Tex.
Tex why.
I was jabbing my screen screaming "tex, its right here! Its here! TEX!"
Was he drinking something at the time of this session
@@cynicalcitizen8315 Does he ever stop drinking?
About 2 minutes out worth of me yelling that at the screen I had to go over and read the comments because I knew I wasn't the only person screaming at him.
1:18:35. And the Dekker Meme kicks in. You could've ejected him earlier. Replacement pilots are not cheap...
They should be though.
@@ZackaryMusgrove It depends on the pilot, if they are some super duper S class pilot they'll be costly, especially since you have to pay middleman fee included in the total fee... so you want cheap pilots? you get what you pay for...
In the Inner Sphere, Life is cheap. Battlemechs aren't.
@@bassdaddy65 Unless you're Steiner... ^.^
I never played the table top(didn't even know what it is), boy am I glad I bought it, that's how I found your channel and wow , the depth of the story , the details, the characters, this is amazing, thank you guys for every video .
You managed to make Bert Kreischer, the comedian, into a mechwarrior... You should run into battle screaming "I am the machine!"
a man has to have a battle cry.
Tex, thanks for that "C-bills" go off. I've been using it often in the Battletech TT merc campaign I'm going through, right now.
Interesting to hear you compliment the blackjack. Most streamers referred to it as “The Coffin” due to its habit of getting headshot, or focus fired, often fatally.
streamers dont have the tabletop experience. The Blackjack is a solid piece of equipment
I mean, most mechs could be referred to as Coffins if they get focused fired or head shot.
I thought the _Blackjack_ sucked until playing this game; never used it in tabletop, though. Slow (for its weight class), gimmick weapons... what was there to like?
Good armor (again, for its weight class) and the sheer ability to pick off targets at long range, with solid firepower close up and excellent heat dissipation. It's not a scout, but not everything under fifty tons needs to be.
"Hey look it's what you can do on mechwarrior online but doesn't cost 48 dollars!"
Holy shit tex, between this and your lore vids, I subbed hard!
This brings back memories... I used to play so much tabletop BT that I didn't need to open the books to calculate to hit rolls or damage location...
Same. Sometimes at lunch I'd write up new mechs in my notebook because I memorized the stats for common engines and weapons just from writing them down so many times.
@@Ozymandias2x I was the same in WH40k 5th ed.
Betrayed and Gladiator is +2 Gunnery, +1 Guts. Not bad for starting stats in this game (what with both Gunnery and Guts being the best two stats in my opinion).
Until endgame. Then it's tactics and a Marauder with all the Lasers. Nothing but surgically removed heads on the other team
I love that you cab have Tex aa your voice. It just makes me happy😊
Mechwarrior 5 Mercenaries is slated for a December 10th release. It's still made by piranha games and the first available platform it'll be dumped on is epic, but you gotta take the bad (piranha and epic...at first) with the good (it looks amazing).
I'll take the good with the good and wait till it releases on steam
@@ClockworkAnomaly I think a lot of people are going to do that. Something about not wanting their personal information given to the Chinese and being micro-transactioned into oblivion.
There are no beards in the future?
NOOOOOO! EVEN BEARDS ARE A LOST FROM THE SUCCESSIONS WARS!!!! DAMN YOU GREAT HOUSES!!!
Yea didn't know beards were Lostech lmao
He drove me crazy for almost 5 minutes screaming at the screen that he was on female mode
Everytime you doubleclick to move and skip arc selection it pains me.
I am sorry I am not perfect like you trugath. Slay me, o' offended one!
BlackPantsLegion fear not. Your raw skill brought you through better than what I achieved. I just wish to see what you can do when you aren't fighting the interface.
I decided to watch this video at random here years later, and I was twitching every time, too, especially when it meant he had no firing solution and had to go into guard because of it
THANK YOU FOR INTRODUCING ME TO THE BATTLETECH UNIVERSE! I didn't even know this 2018 game existed until I got curious about Battletech in general from Warhammer. Awesome vids, man. Cheers.
I really have to question how drunk Tex was when he played this?
24:00 damn that laughter is epic....
One thing I kind of loved back when I played BattleTech tabletop RPGs and such (which sadly I can't get a group for in my local area anymore) was the... I thought absolutely brilliant system of Slowest Initiative Moves First and Fires Last, Fastest Initiative Moves Last and Fires First.
It gave a strange sense of balance to the game. Where a skilled Light Mech jock could in fact run circles around some goober in an Assault Mech and just make him miserable and what not. Really made the game more about Maneuver than sort of typical ground combat games being about zones of control and overwatch, etc. Just this clever, elegant system that honestly... I've never seen another tabletop use before. And I loved the dynamic of what it did. You'd think Panther vs Warhammer is a losing fight. Until you realize the Panther just schools the Warhammer in Initiative, jumps behind him and surprise PPC and SRM Enema.
Kind of sad they didn't use that system for the BattleTech game since they were going turn based anyway.
Its pretty cool you're into battletech!
I've only played the games, but it was still a huge part of my childhood! I remember playing Mechwarrior2 on PC, and it just blew me away! I think I still remember the entire intro cutscene for that game XD
Battletech has been pretty fun for me, but I'm still itching for a mech combat game though! Ever since Mw4:Mercenaries there hasn't been anything quite like it..
one's in development. lets hope it doesn't suck or disappear.
They've been pretty quiet about it though afaik. But yeah, hopefully!
Google living legends. its a free combined arms BT game. With aero, VTOL, Hovercraft, tanks and battle armour and mechs of course.
5 minutes into game: man what an interesting story.
125 hours later and 200 million c bills in that bank (123 hours after derailing the story by going in a Violence and greed filled detour that was originally only supposed to take five minutes so you could go find a catapult): Wait WTF there's a story line!?
Maaaaaan, not taking out the turret gen in the first round a sponging damage with your Spider was hard to watch my dude. Thumbs up anyway.
Your first mistake was to not pick Davion for +100 plot armor.
plot armor ahoy
@@theblackpantslegion i though plot armor belong to Kurita? MAGIC BUSHIDO HANDS and all that jazz
Davion for life, yo!
If you wanna be associated with those war criminals, sure!
@@capterson4 Who, Kurita? Because - say it with me, everyone - "KURITA'S AN ARSEHOLE" (except Theodore... Teddy's cool)
I'm Duncan Fisher and this is my favorite channel on the youtube.
You're not George Ledoux!
Somebody rig a shotgun trap for this impersonator.
Decker has died, Wah waah.
One of my old StarCraft Handel's was Turtle-c-billz. My first pc game was MW2:mercs
My Dekker died too, RIP to our Day Zero Hero
I was playing this games expansion flashpoint and a mission series made me think of Tex. It was called bourbon and battlemechs!
RIP Dekker. He died AGAIN.
its his job.
Hey, mine stayed alive.
He racked up insane time in the medical bay, and continues to do so, but he's alive. I think maybe it's the nurses encouraging him too much, they're the only ones who don't tell him to shut up and get to work. Speaking of which, time to abuse that plot armor he apparently stole from either Cameron Coyne or a Davion and send him to fight some Taurians.
Why Taurians? Because they're there. (Also because the Magistracy paid me.)
@@kereminde also, dekker has an Exp bug. He earns it exponentially XD
I never lost Dekker. I lost Behemoth on a skull and a half. My mistake was stripping the Shadow Hawk down to a Guass Rifle and a medium laser. I had intended her to just hang back and cock pit shot targets. A rifleman seemed to not be cool with that plan. Blew the head off her mech.
Your whole Battletech series is bloody brilliant. As an old mech'r, it has helped me rediscover one of my favourite games of my youth!
Behemoth is my favorite mech pilot and you will treat her with respect!
I love that their are people out there that love the Battletech universe as much as I do. Thank you for the videos Tex!
I think you just may be the funnest RUclipsr to listen to
oh, I doubt that
Honestly, your Tex Talks were the only thing keeping me from dying of boredom on a 2 hour drive. I'm serious.
I love how excited you were in the first five minutes of the video. I was much the same way the first time I played this game for much the same reason. I too have been an enormous Battletech nerd since I was young. I too played the tabletop games since I was a kid, in addition to the MechWarrior games, and I played in the Virtual Word Pods. In fact, I'm a member of the Order of Burton, Callsign Metal Storm, normally associated with the Dallas Pod Site known as VG Corps, though that was a long time ago. Hit me up any time you want to talk Battletech!
I have to say, you made a fantastic looking man out of that woman. XD
u should have explored the map before going for the objective. there is a side entrance to the base where u find an unprotected generator disabling every turret instantly. u can jump a single mech up to take it out and u also backstab their def lance with it.
So I was watching the Battletech lore videos while playing this game, and RUclips forwarded me to this video, and I have to say I really appreciated that you had the exact same experience of forgetting your paradox password. I literally did the exact same thing when I started a new campaign last night after not playing for awhile.
Tex spent 15 minutes wondering why the women of the Inner Sphere have no beards, and went, "Fuck it, I'll do it myself."
Tex is a true champion of equality.
Awesome to see someone else get excited for Battletech! My Diamond Dogs are the pride of my miniature collection, don't get to play em a lot here in the Chi bit they are always ready.
I seriously didn't know you could just put the destroyed components back until I watched this. I thought they were gone for good.
No wonder I liked this game so much. Crimson Skies and Shadowrun were my fuckin JAM back in the day
Just started the video... I needed this in my life
Wish they named this game something other then Battletech plain out.
Makes any search for the tabletop painful.
The stock portraits are trash, but there's a mod to add your own, and give your pilot a voice.
eh, having a voice is overrated, screaming pilots are annoying on the comms... ;P
Dekker dying seems to be a pretty common thing with Battletech lol.
He died in my play through too. What's with him constantly dying?
i dunno, he never died on me, i mean he tried to stop quite some bullets blasts and rokkets with his own body, but so far he survived, medusa is the one that constantly dies on me (at leas tin half of my playthroughs)
It's a meme in the battletech community lol. It's because by "default" he always gets the spider which noobs throw out in front and it gets torn to shreds. People with experience or have watched it on youtube know to keep that spider moving at top speed. Better to run than to shoot with that mech. Definitely first mech to get replaced.
Damn I love you tex. Always crack me up and with awesome badass mech content.
One of my favorite old FASA games that almost no one remembers? "Renegade Squadron". Neat little game and story around it. I liked a bit of the multiple pathing involved in it, I somehow accidentally got the Best Ending on my first run of the game... which I couldn't get again in my next 10 tries. Lots of little twists, turns, good variety of ships, missions, and weapon systems. I can't be the only one who remembers it still, right?
BTW, Deep Periphary + BETRAYED backstory basically makes your protag a Wolverine.
I nose-sprayed out my beer @ "YEAH NEW WORLDS TO FUCK UP! GO EARTH!!"
Finally!! I found the first episode.
You sounds just like Randy Moucho Man Savage which is a good thing makes the vides sound awesome
Thanks fam
Love the commentary that's why I'm here
"As long as he doesn't death from above-" Deaths from Above! Hahahaha
I know i am late for this, BUT YOUR LACK OF SPINNING THE MOUSE ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF ME.
I mean, LoS is a big deal, kinda.
EDIT:Okay, it only took an hour and 5 minutes or so.
You know what, you're a pretty cool cat.
doubtful
The great Tex cometh...
Battletech: Screw you and your volume settings...
Your voice it's way too deep, a punch in the face, I love it!
ENJOY IT. LOVE IT. BE ONE WITH IT.
ROFLMFAO. Tex I don't think you realize how much I enjoy watching/listening to your vids.
Thank you for saying so
I was exactly the same when I first played this game :-) I played and still play tabletop now we have Solaris tournaments :-) still love it today
I wish there were more back stories to choose from.
the story is great, someone just tried to overwrite it and its hilarious i.e. a faction leader hated the leaders in the inner sphere and left to make her own group of people common enough story, but its changed to say "she left the patriarchy of the inner sphere" it makes me lol
The Periphery bud,
welcome to the Periphery where madness reigns.
"It's just like Mechwarrior Online, but this isn't costing 40 dollars" it's funny because it's true.
Working a Serenity quote in, very nice.
Tex are you Jack Daniel's man?I'm a Honey Jack Daniel's drinker and crown Apple.I was geeking out over Battletech that I preordered it. They really got this game spot on. I cant wait for additional mechs and vehicles
I do not drink Jack. I do like Crown though. Crown Maple is great in coffee.
Not bad for a free born!
I loved the...Oh A Galleon?? PPFFFFfeeehhh...your done....
“I don’t know if you fought for honor”
“C-Bills!”
“Or for the thrill of it”
“C-Bills!”
“For belief in my cause”
“C-Bills!”
“Or just in my money”
“Correct!”
While exploring the blackpantsleqion channel, I found this. I have never heard about Battletech. So I'm settling in and will watch it
Just pay Tex his C-Bills on time, in full and keep the voice down and you own 99.99% of his loyalty. Doesn't hurt to throw in a bottle of old scotch for a job well done and a few missions here & there to shoot Cappellions and he is as happy as a clam.
oh my gods.....rotate fecker!
Now that I've watched a video 3 years old compared to the more recent videos. I can hear the differences in Mr. Tex's voice. You sound better with that deeper voice Mr. Tex. Hope that throat condition doesn't get worse.
2 Clanscum voters
PURPLE BURD 4 EVER
Free worlds for life baby.
"That's why you don't bathe a cat..."
(I spit my beer all over my computer)
VAN ZANDT RULES SUPREME! But actually, I only got into BT in the last two years, so watching this for the non-modded story and stuff.
Just like mech warrior online just aint costing $48 I love it that's so true 😆
MOAR!
soon enough
Tex: Fuck it! *Headbutts Shadow Hawk to death with a Blackjack*
I highly recommend this game.
It doesn't pull punches.
Sit. It is Naboo. I'm shooting everything.
fuck you crack me up. Didn't realize mechwarrior had so much lore. been smashing lore videos