Kinda hilarious all the holier than thou people claiming he should just take in the sister because well it's his girlfriend so he might as well be marrying the both of them. Sure it's extreme not to give her the key but he's basically bankrolling her whole life and she's taking advantage of that privilege
@@crystalval9364 yep totally crazy letting her sister go in the house for a couple hours how f’ing insane. Well the non holy people have spoken, the people should help people have spoken.
"Sister just needed somewhere to stay for a few hours." And OP is supposed to believe that it's for "just a few hours" after finding out that his explicit instructions about the house he owns have been ignored and an unauthorized key was made? I don't think so.
"It's my house too!" No sweetie, it isn't. You're acting like a total short-timer. Super entitled. Whatever degree you get I hope you can support your sister and her kids.
@@4bibimimi I feel sorry for OP. If he wants to boot his gf, she probably has tenants rights and he will have to formally evict her. Can’t just throw her stuff out on the lawn and say, sorry, you don’t live here any longer.
@@SnowyWolborg easy to do with someone else’s property. Wait till she moves out of her bfs place because of it. She won’t be so keen on being nice to her sister once it’s her problem alone.
Actually, OP said "a bag", singular. Could have been a diaper bag, could have been a suitcase. No way to tell from the description. However, I expect anything else Anna needed was packed and ready to be moved in. If Anna just needed a place for a few hours, there's any number of places she and the kids could have gone. Parks, libraries, etc. Or Ashton could have loaned her the money to get a hotel or motel room for the night.
Story1: Huge NTA. Sister is a moocher and a loser. Ashton wants to help? Fine, but she can do it on her own time. Giving her a spare key without OP's permission is a huge red flag. At a minimum, Ashton goes to the dog-house. If she doesn't face consequences, she'll think it's ok to disregard boundaries in the future. Time for her to decide if she really wants to be with OP.
Also to add she had the key made and gifted her It months back, from the way op tells the story the request to move in was at somepoint in the last week!
They’re both users or leeches! And the OP had every right to restrict Aston’s access after she gave a key to someone who didn’t live there! I’d kick Aston out (legally of course) and break up with her! What she did is not okay!
@@jake8748 maybe the writing is on the wall and the girlfriend is on her way out. Degree in hand she had a sugar daddy during her education, and never consider she wasn't investing in OP'S house, her contribution was less than rent. And she took it for granted.
Story 1: I don't understand how someone can say that OP is an idiot, given the fact that his girlfriend didn't give two caps about his rules. Also, a few hours may turn into a few days, and what happens when the sister is there long enough to be recognized as a tenant? Lastly, I agree with the person that mentioned how useful OP will be once the girlfriend gets her masters degree. Quite frankly, it seems that she is treating OP like a work study program instead of a partner.
It's just a few hours...... It's already late, it's just overnight...... It's just a few days, they're kids for christ sake...... it's just until she finds a job and a place to live.... you can't kick them out, they love their new school, and school friends! This is their home!
Because he's a man who won't turn himself into a pretzel kissing the ass of his girlfriend and her sister. Who, by the way, is a single mother and therefore sacred.
@@goddessmelanisia it's not the issue. It's Op's house and he lets whoever he wants in or not. And the reality is he would never had to kick her out, if she couldn't have been able to get in the first place. Or are we gonna ignore that before all this, op's gf already made a copy of op's house key months ago behind his back ? If she hadn't gone behind his back, the gf would have had to ask and they wouldn't have gotten in. And she could have gone to a McDonald's for a few hours like any normal person and the gf could backroll that if she wants to help that bad. Pretty sure the kids would have liked that better. Ppl need to stop acting like she can't litteraly entertain her own kids outside of her house for a few hours. If she, can't she shouldn't have custody. Also the bf was moving out in the end so she wasn't homeless. And this is bs enabler crap you're spouting. The fact that everyone gives her a millions chances bc she has kids is the reason why she hasn't pulled her crap together. Why have a plan b if everyone is always gonna bail you out ? You think that's fair to her kids ? Her never getting better ? Op gave her resources and places she could go. And see that ? When he said no, she figured it out and the bf moved out and they kept the place. Those kids aren't moving anywhere or loosing any friends. And you know what ? If they do it's their mothers fault. Op is not their father and should hmnot have to take responsibility for them. You do realise op can also loose his job or land in a bad place ? Every cent he would have given he would never see it back. Also what if op gets kids ? He's supposed to take from his kids to give to hers ? No this not acceptable and short sighted as hell.
If ANYONE is living in my house for free and tries to move more people into my house without my consent then they can get tf out and be homeless with the sister too. Everyone knows that bag wasn't for a few hours, she was going to allow the sister to move in bit by bit.
Those commenters saying that OP over-reacted by throwing Ashton out when he wasn't even home need to stop and think about how much damage her kids could do, and how much she could steal, in those "few hours." The woman is a parasite. These are not OP's monkeys and not his circus, and anyone who let that irresponsible woman and her kids into MY house, alone, leaving them to their own devices, would be begging to get back inside, themself.
@@SnowyWolborg of course she hasn't learned shit, she's a drama queen & thrives off the attention. I feel sorry for her husband cuz she, at the very least, will be a constant embarrassment to him with her drama. At worst she'll be a serial cheater cuz she NEEDS the drama & attention to function, it's like breathing to drama queens.
How stupid do you have to be to be unaware that a tulle skirt is nothing but a strainer for wine? It is open weave and insubstantial, only looking "poofy" because of having many layers of netting, a fluffy "colander" of sorts, the dimwitted, egotistical bride is 100% at fault!
As I was reading it I suddenly said to myself "oooh, bad idea". More Reddit wisdom/conclusions: - Drama/drama queens fade quickly as an entertainment source. Leave it for the soap operas, not friendships. - Wedding flashiness is a waste of money and sanity. Just say no.
Story 1: Making a key to your house without permission is a red flag. If she paid rent or you were married or even if all things being equal, you would still have to both agree because even if you only owned half, your view should be heard and respected. If you both can’t agree , she shouldn’t let someone in. You had reasons you didn’t trust her sister or feel like your home would be safe or comfortable and livable with her in it. Staying for a few hours certainly does NOT require an illegally copied house key. I disagree with the YTA comment for story 1. She copied a key behind his back and did so WELL before talking about her sister. In all likelihood, op’s gf planned from the get go to let her sister stay irregardless of whether her bf and homeowner agreed, thus she made a copy key with the sole pre planned intention of giving her sister a key and letting a trespasser in. Now, even IF OP had issues, he was NEVER given a choice to let gf sister stay a few hours as he wasn’t even asked but giving her a key isn’t something you usually do for a short term guest either. Thus, I think it’s wholly unfair to declare him the ahole since it wasn’t a matter of her staying a few hours but a matter of breaking and entering cause it was done without permission or even asking him. He also said he already dealt with her and tried to help her many times but she didn’t appreciate it nor try to help herself or improve her situation thus he was annoyed and fed up but he STILL offered to help or even help her find a place, he just didn’t want her living with him as he had enough of her apparent entitlement. Story 2: Not the idiot. I can’t help wondering in fact if your so called friend Katie ruined the moment on purpose to create unnecessary drama because she planned it. Personally, I would have suggested a stunt double waiter or actor or someone professional to ensure minimal risk of screw up, but it was a bad idea from the start that you tried and failed to talk her out of, and frankly, there wouldn’t be a chance I’d apologize for something I didn’t do but in fact she herself did as she didn’t even follow the original plan to strip out right away thus increasing my belief and likelihood that she did so intentionally. I’d go nc for awhile and if she keeps insisting that her actions were somehow your fault? I suggest finding better friends not user abusers like her.
Story 1: NTA. OP's name is on the house since he owns it and he pays majority of the household expenses, and since the GF doesn't pay rent, I don't think he'll have a hard time kicking her out if he wants to. She had no business giving her sister a key if he obviously expressed to her that he doesn't want her living there. I'm wondering if the sister can have her children live with the fathers while she's in between housing or until she get's back on her feet at some women's shelter. That's something I would suggest
You still have to go through proper eviction steps though. Once a person lives there after a set period of days, usually days, without an agreement of visiting, they become a tenant.
@@ButtonsCasey No, not in the States. She is not on the property deed; she has no rental agreement and she isn't paying rent. On any day she leaves, he can pack her stuff in garbage bags or boxes and set it outside for her to retrieve. We do not have Squatter's rights in the states. If they leave the structure where they are squatting, you can lock them out. Then SHE would have to sue him, and she has nothing to prove she actually lived there.
@@Objective-Observer Sorry, but the USA does have squatters rights, but it varies from state to state, and it specifically refers to abandoned property that’s still owned by someone. I didn’t have time to look up “renters rights”; that is, someone that’s been living in a house with permission, but has not signed a formal agreement, whether paying or not. Edit: There ARE also so-called “tenant rights” (I’m sure that also varies from state to state) that say that even though someone has no formal contract, if they’ve been living there for more than X number of days, you have to FORMALLY evict them. Get papers drawn up, serve them, etc. , etc.
Katie's dress wouldnt have gotten stained if she wasnt being a drama queen. Who doesnt realize the longer you wait, the more a liquid is going to seep into fabric?
Story 1: NTA. This woman sounds like a hot mess. You’ve given plenty of help and if your Girlfriend doesn’t like it she can start paying bills around there.
@@briansmaller7443 and don't forget he'd be buying all the food as well. can't let the wee ones starve. I'm also willing to bet op's gf will leave him once she finishes her master and finds a better boyfriend. My advice to op is, do NOT put the house in her name nor or ever, or she'll dump him and then expect him to give her half the house's value
@@Jerseybytes2 Yup he is a minimal cost place to live when she gets the job with her degree she will be out. She proved this by giving her sister a key.
OP's girlfriend disregarded his wishes and secretly made a key for her sister. The people scolding OP for "not allowing a stressed out woman and two kids a safe place to rest for a few hours" are CRAZY. These women have BOTH shown an utter lack of respect for OP's rights and a total lack of appreciation for the very generous and supportive partner he has been in giving his s.o. the freedom to concentrate on her studies without having to even think about rent, food, utilities or any of the many things most of us struggled with when we were pursuing our educations. Can OP REALLY trust these women...especially given sister's usual m.o.? "A few hours" is NOT what they have in mind. Know what I think? I think they have this idea that sister gets in with her pitiful little one bag and her little children...turns on the tears for OP(after all, he's been a reliable source for handouts...both those he himself gave knowingly and doubtless through secret handouts from the household funds and pantry that his s.o. has given her. The key would NOT have been the first) and OP would give in. Sister and her boyfriend may well have lost their lease...I REALLY doubt the story that she only needs a place to stay while he is moving out...but the ultimate goal is to move sister and the kids into OP's house with ALL their stuff indefinitely. And...if the state of sister's relationship is a lie...or it improves dramatically...OP is likely to come home and find the boyfriend moved in with them. And if not him, then the NEXT irresponsible manchild sister picks to father her next baby or two. "You CAN'T deny those kids a father!" would be their line. They will treat OP's home like their own...entertain their friends whenever they wish...have their children's parties there...expect OP to foot the bill...and contribute nothing. OP would find that the more he allowed, the more they would expect. He will NOT be asked if sister's man needs to "borrow" a suit or OP's car....he'll just wake up one morning to find them gone. If OP's s.o. didn't ask before giving the key to his home out to her sister without OP's knowledge or consent, KNOWING his objections...and sister accepted it also knowing that this was the case...then this will NOT be the last time they scheme together to get their way. People who call OP the idiot or the a hole have lost their dang minds.
Did they also miss the part where he said he’s helped the sister out in the past? What planet are they living on? OP Full well knows that a few hours will turn into a few days which will turn into a few weeks which will turn into…….
@@beverlyarcher3744 that was such a lie. She moved in with the bf. And she can’t afford rent because she hasn’t been working. So if his name is the one on the lease, why would he be going anywhere? They really didn’t spend anytime on their cover story
There is a reason why the sister’s family has stop helping her. OP is not responsible for this woman’s poor choices. Who know she what her and her children would done while unsupportive in OP home. I can understand why he does not trust his girlfriend to make more keys.
Story 1; What even are those YTA comments? Some redditors need to go outside to take a breather and touch some grass. Maybe pick up some common sense along the way.
Why should Op be obligated to house leach? Yes, situation is terrible but it’s not your place and you set your boundaries. These YTA and ESH obviously do not know Or has not had toxic family to come up with that logic
I wouldn't let that sister in period. Who knows if you could get her back out! OP should have kicked GF out too or at least reminded her that was an option for her if she didn't like it that her sister was banned from his home.
Ashton's sister and kids wouldn't have been there for just a few hours. She could have spent a few hours at the park or a library if she needed to give her ex time to move out, which is a lie since he wouldn't have moved out of his own place since she moved in with him. Once sister and children had been inside, Ashton would have said they are already here so you have to let them stay since they have nowhere else to go. She and sister were trying to play him by making it impossible to say no. OP needs a new gf since he cannot trust this one.
Ashton probably put a bill in her sisters name when she made her the key so if this situation came to pass they would be able to claim squatters rights
Story 1: So the yta commenter either skipped the part where the sister brought a bag to op's house ( i doubt it was a baby bag because that wouldn't be out of the ordinary for a parent with an infant or young toddler ) when she was only supposed to be there for a " breather " or just ignored that part because it contradicted their portrayal of op as a heartless monster and the sister as an innocent down on her luck victim. I disagree with the esh commenter as well. Ashton has already proven she will go behind op's back to get her way and has already tried to laid claim to op's home and somehow it's unreasonable for op not to trust her with a key when they're in this situation because she made at least one copy of the previous one and handed it/them out without op's knowledge. In my opinion he hasn't done enough. Honestly if I can't trust a person not to try and sneak people into my house against my wishes I don't think that person should be living in my house either. Especially if I work in sales a field that could require me to be away long enough for the unwanted guest(s) to swoop in and establish tenancy.
@@nardopolo7407 A breather could be a day or so and would have made more sense than the excuse he was given even if the outcome would probably be the same. However op stated in the post Ashton claimed her sister would only be there for a few hours when he confronted her which likely confirmed the ding on his bs radar because why would she need a bag if she would only be there for a few hours ?
Story 1 what is it with the comments having ago at OP over not letting the hot mess sister stay at OP's house for a few hours...ummm the issue was the sister illegally having a key aka breach of security. Otherwise you can bet it was not intended to be a few hours. The GF needs to respect OP more.
Story 1: to the ESH and YTA nope x100 that's not how it works gf doesn't pay morgage or anything she has no say in who can stay at all just cause she has a key copy doesn't mean squat i swear do some of these people even READ the story
So OP has 3 kids and SIL has 3 dogs and she's bothered by them in the families vacation home? Has OP considered that her kids might be just as annoying to the SIL? And it's not even OP's family home, it's the SIL's! The nerve of this woman.
I don't believe the dogs are the actual problem, based on what she said and how she said it looks like she resents sil for not having kids while she is stuck with 3, while on vacation she is probably enjoying herself while op is running around taking care of the kids. Her getting another dog just signaled to her that sil won't be having any kid soon and she got jealous and angry, the dog was just the excuse she used.
I find kids annoying and hate them but you don't hear me telling their parents to stop bringing them though I would if it was my ADHD/autistic nephew if it was my house he gets under my skin easily I have a lot more trouble handling mentally handicapped kids i think most of it comes from that kid in 6th grade he kinda turned me against them it finally came down to me telling the teacher either move him or the kid would get in trouble as he kept inappropriately touching me messing with my bra and distracting me while I was trying to pay attention to the teacher think it was an experiment to see if he was ready to be in a class not special Ed for an hour all ik after that he wasn't in the class anymore
The OP with the ring should get a safety deposit box at a bank to keep the cousins or mom from getting the ring. If it's not in the house, it can't be stolen from the house.
As both a daughter and a mother, I cannot stress enough how much the "children owe it to their parents" mentality infuriates me. Thanking my mom when she gives us something to eat or drink just to piss her off has become a frequent joke between my siblings and I, all adults by now. And, regarding my children, they didn't ask to be born, it was my decision. And feeding them, clothing them, and keeping a roof over their heads is what I signed up for. Oh, one more thing, I want them to grow up to live their own lives, not to be my retirement plan. Ugh! Anyways, thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
Why the hell should Op be obligated to help someone who is burned many bridges from people? That YTA comment really should try putting himself in Op shoes instead of just berating Op being cruel just because he won’t have a leach, i’m just saying because it’s the right thing. Probably does not understand what it’s like to have or cut somebody off. Op has valid reason for not taking in this person. Her situation is her problem. Also, I would dump the girlfriend if she goes against your wishes like that. That last comment out of his mind. Let’s see if he makes the same judgment once he’s been burned by leaches. Let me tell you, my mom has cut off a lot of toxic family members. Extend the olive branch it’s the people who hurt you not the people who’s been hurt.
Some of these commie commenters are generous with other peoples property...I would put the gf on 30 day notice, if she chooses to infringe on your property rights...this is a red flag by the gf giving her sister a spare key! She has no respect for property right...
It took me a really long time to figure out the “problem” with the dog story. Literally not OP’s problem, right, responsibility, any of it. If you don’t want a dog around, then don’t go where there are dogs.
Spending a few hours with all its belongings and suitcases... yeah ok!!! Hahahahaha no, if it was just until the ex moves out it wouldn't need all its property with it and especially after trying already to convince op to let them all move in.
Loool gotta love the “YTA” comments on that first story “How dare you not let this unemployed leech into your house where she definitely won’t leave and DEFINITELY wont work” If OP and his gf are the ONLY people that the sister could turn to then it speaks VOLUMES about her. NTA OP but tbh you should dump your gf, she doesn’t respect your bondaries and is taking advantage of you.
I love how someone said he was an asshole, if her own family has given up on her how is he the asshole? Dependng in where they live if she gets mail sent there she can declare residency and he would have to fight to get her out. Some home share places learned this the hard way and some ended up losing their homes because these people know the laws so well and certain states protect the tenants way more then the home owners. That’s a warning to anyone considering these things. Heavily look into the laws in the state because in some it’s like living somewhere for 6 days and mail addressed there and bam you’re now a resident and you have to go to court to get them out. (There’s even a Reddit story where this person had someone try exactly that, they said to get a boiler fixed they needed to stay with them for six days, it was the specific days that was highly suspicious for something that you can pay to be fixed in like a day or two)
Woman: I live here, it’s my house. Man: I paid for this house before we even met, my name is on the deed, it’s my house. You’re just living in it. There is no way I want 3 extra people in my home, especially children who aren’t mine, for more than a few days max. You can’t trust this situation, once she was in, she’d never leave. Guy has to give a key, she will just have to promise to not hand out another one, that’s a massive breach of trust.
Story 2: NTA. She dragged out the moment, giving the wine enough time to seep through. You gotta slap her in the face with this information. Not physical I might add. It's annoying whenever people get mad at someone for their own stupidity.
@@dianeweger6874 that was fast thinking. Its always good to be cautious. But being overly cautious also exists. Which doesn't mean that you are overly cautious. I can sense a healthy amount of cautiosness in you. 🤓
Final Story: NTA. What part of “Gift” does she not understand? Just because your not as close as you once were and someone kinda thinks they can use the money doesn’t invoke adult takesy backsy.
The audacity of the person saying he was the idiot in the first story because "she was going through a bad time" and completely ignoring the fact that she's proven to be an irresponsibly bad person who got herself in that situation.
Couple of points about Ashton and her sister. Both were very clearly told by OP that Anna and her children were to have no access at all - absolutely NO ifs buts or maybes. There is a comment made by a reader that Ashton is a tenant; she is not as she does not pay any rent, does not have a contract or anything legal giving her that position. Therefore, handing a copy of a key out to her sister she could be made liable for a number of things. Anna by the virtue of OP refusing access has trespassed and probably other legal breaches. For me, it is very simple Ashton not only broke trust she totally destroyed it, fully disrespected the property owner by overriding his wishes and showed entitlement which was not deserved; and for this she would be taking the long walk of no return! Bye bye Ashton!
In some places, just living somewhere for a specified length of time gives the squatter tenants rights. He will probably have to follow legal protocol to evict her, unless she leaves of her own accord.
Story 1: break up with the gf, kick her out and change the locks. if she doesn't respect you, she just sees as resources to give to her family so send her on her way! you just learned that she is not the one.
@@squirrel670 I don’t think she can force them to sell it but she can force and the buyer out if they don’t have enough money to buy her out then they would have to sell it
Sorry but I think Ashton needs to go. If you’ve reached the point where she lives with you but you have to manually allow her to enter the garage bc you can’t trust her with a key or the code, it’s time to end this relationship
Story 1: When 2 people live together (regardless of who is paying for what) BOTH must agree to someone else coming to stay/live there, or it shouldn't happen, PERIOD. This is honestly just basic courtesy & respect for your housemate (let alone if you're in a romantic relationship). And I'm suspicious of Ashton's claim that her sister was _'only going to be there for a few hours'._ To me, it looks like an attempt to get her in the house under false pretenses, then something would _conveniently_ go wrong, leaving sister with 'nowhere to go' again, necessitating that she stay (which likely would've led to Ashton pulling the _'if she goes, I go'_ card). Sister was described by OP (when he saw her letting herself in) as having a 'bag' with her... If she was only going to be there for a few hours, why would she need a bag? I don't see this relationship with Ashton working out.
Ashton would be finding a new boyfriend after that. How is this an ESH for the first one? His house and he does not want some one he does not trust in it.
1: NTA. They are not married and that is his house. She contributes but in no way does she have any ownership. Her sister can't be trusted to take care of her own life or belongings and she still took it upon herself to give her sister a key to a house that she has no ownership of without the knowledge of her boyfriend and neglected to tell him they were coming at all until she was caught out lying when he saw them coming into his home uninvited by him using a key he did not approve of her having. Literally any of the shady men she brought home or she herself could have let themselves in his house and stolen anything they wanted. And we all know that bullshit about her staying only a few hours was a BOLD FACED LIE. She had already asked to move in pulling the sad single mom going through hard times card despite being given all the resources to solve her problem herself and they both berated him. We all know girlfriend and her sister conspired to have them set up in his house while he was working so that when he came home they would already be set up and with the kids there in person they could guilt and bully him into letting them stay. That is what they did. Because if the truth was that they would only be there a couple of hours he probably would have accepted that much if she had bothered to tell him. She didn't. Because that was a lie. He should not be responsible for his girlfriends sisters poor life choices. His home is also where he works 50% of the time and having her and her kids there all day every day indefinitely would make things much harder. In all the time she was with her now ex she didn't get a job even once? She didn't even offer to try looking if she moved in. She just expected handouts. She can get housing and food assistance fairly easily especially in the case that she will be homeless otherwise. The government gives emergency benefits fairly easily but on the basis that you be actively searching for work and reporting to them on applications you put in. It's much easier for women to get and keep assistance than men especially if they're pregnant or have kids. She has no excuse. She didn't do it because she doesn't want to work. From the sounds of everything she is just a mooch and when whoever she's with gets sick of her games she goes begging her sister and family for help. And it sounds like everyone else in the family has cut her off except her sister who enables this behavior. She needs to grow up and actually be a proper parent to those kids and get her life together and that doesn't include living rent free at someone else's expense that doesn't want her in their home. OP is NTA and he should reevaluate his relationship considering his girlfriend seems pretty okay with handing over his property to whoever she wants without permission and not respecting his boundaries or feelings.
We all know people never mean what they say "just a few hours" is a lie it will be oh she's stressed, he's taking to long to leave HIS home , run from both those girls it will never end
story 1: people are bashing OP saying he has no empathy for the sister but remember this is the 3rd time she's done this and she was warned in the beginning. So if a meth head OD's for the 20th time, are you still supposed to say it's OK for them to do it and let them disrupt your life so they can do it for a 21st time?
First story. NTA. Dump her ASAP, OP. She broke your trust. She do it one time and she will do it again. All in the name "Helping her sister" that didn't have a brain to helping herself and changed her situation.
"... Invest in a safe" what she needs to do is get a good quality replica made, then hide it in her jewellery box. When the ring is eventually stolen and they have it appraised it will be worthless. It would be a nice touch if the daughter asked the mother to help look, since it is worthless she may miraculously find the ring and all will be right with the world. The daughter gets the ring and puts one over on the mother, the mother gets the smug self satisfaction that the daughter was duped and is paying to insure paste. Not healthy or mature but tactically the best option.
First story, NTI, in America squatters have more rights then the actual property owners, getting rid of them is more then just a pain in the a$$, it’s a LONG legal headache.
It's not messy. Tell her go and get your own house and let your sister live with you. He should break up with his GF. All the people who side against you,Why don't they let the sister move in there with them? NO OK then. So why should I, if you are not going to do it?
The vacation house story: if I was the sister, I'd just insist on breaking up the house to be 50-50. In laws and op can take the house 50% of the time, then SIL can have the rest. OP obviously is the AH here.
The only way for that to have worked is if she stripped out of the overdress immediately. Like faking panic instead of anger. She played herself. The only thing you could have done would have been to refuse to participate in the first place.
The dog story...'my, my, my' a huge a-hole, shaming someone for 3 dogs? Did you think how your having additional kids is selfish and makes the rest of the family accommodations for your choices? When everyone else cuts off a toxic family member, OP needs to decide why everyone else has already done it, and so the same. Last story, OP mom gifted it, not it is OP's and the mom and flying monkeys need to be cut off
story1; No everyone is not the idiot here, it is OP's house the GF doesn't pay squat therefore she has absolutely NO say as to who lives there, it is OP's house he can toss out anyone he likes or in this case doesn't like, he doesn't owe a single one of these freeloaders a damn thing.
Story 4: NTA. As bad as it is to not have toilet paper, it is not a emergency. I say send a mass text saying you are focusing on your studies right now and can’t care for her, everyone else is going to have to pick up the slick. Then block as many numbers as possible STARTING with your Mom’s and work on your education.
The mom's kids are 22 and 26, so she can't be too old to take herself to the grocery store to buy what she needs. There's nothing in the story saying she's disabled in any way, so she doesn't need her daughter to go shopping for her, she's just lazy and self centered.
I live 3 states away from my mother, who is very much like the mother in the story. She has burned so many bridges in the past and has outlived her friends and family. I am an only child and, for my own piece of mind, try to keep contact to a minimum. My mother will call and leave a message that it is an emergency for me to call back. When I call back, no emergency. She has mived into an assisted living home, one of the best in the state. Now when she calls and says it's an emergency, when I call her back, I refuse to talk about anything except what the emergency is about. I have told her that I will call management there to tell them if it is a situation their support staff can handle. She hates that I will do that.
Not necessarily years. Weeks, probably; months, possibly. Had a friend who rented out a place to some people, and they decided to stop paying rent. Took him about 5 months to evict them, with all the legal hoops to be jumped through. My sister helped a friend of hers evict a woman from the garage of a house he'd purchased. Woman claimed she'd been renting from the previous (now deceased) owner. That took about six weeks, with the mandatory notification periods.
@@rogerrabbit80 8 days ago, a Lehto's Law post told about a Fairfax, Va. house, for sale, with a squatter. A 3 year fight for the 80+ year old owner. He had a cleaning woman who he let "stay for a little while". The kids would make removal more difficult.There was a New York Post story about a man living free for 20+ years after he made one payment to the bank in 1998. The bank foreclosed. It was on Long Island, New York State.The man and several "tenants" filed multiple bankruptcies in order to stay. Add COVID19.
OP was right not to allow the leech into his house. People like her would not just stay for a few hours but use it as a way to get in and stay. Girlfriend isn't trustworthy and I would rethink relationship.
Story 5: NTA - You wanted it since you were a child, your Mom gifted it to you at your majority, and years later she remarries and asks for it back? I don't think so. Too late! Get it into a safety deposit box at the bank.
Story 1 you need new girfriend that is not leeching of you and that you can trust. Story 2 You sound like a doormat and your friend sound demanding and abusing.
3rd story: In OP's SIL shoes, if possible, I'd sell my part of the family vacation home, and start planning for getting myself a 4th dog. But if it's not possible to sell my part, I'd just go there when the rest of the family don't, and still start planning for that 4th dog. Why not get some cats as well, my dogs gets along just fine with our cats.
Story 1: NTA - You set a boundary, and your girlfriend blew right on past it and did what she wanted in a house where someone else has the final say. I agree, she may be contributing to the household, but in the end, it IS your house, and you have every right to put your foot down. Until or unless you comingle your finances and the house becomes part hers, you get power of veto on new roommates.
Lmao even if she pays half of everything they both need to agree to let someone live there. It's completely unfair to expect him to deal with kids while he's trying to worm from home. The sister made her own bed by dating someone who hates kids, now she needs to lay in it.
My suggestion is to set up a door lock that reads finger prints. Girl friend doesn't get a key but will be able to get in with finger print. She won't be able to pass a key on to her sister.
Sister is not self reliant and has learned to manipulate and take advantage of anyone she can. Personally, I would have nothing to do with her. These relatives are a yoke around your neck. Bye , bye…wouldn’t even miss her.
Story 3: YTA. I’m confused, what’s the problem? Do the dogs misbehave? Is someone allergic to the dogs? Are you forced to care for them? Is the only problem literally you just don’t like dogs in the same house your in? If so then your definitely TA.
Dogs misbehave. Even behaving, they can be obnoxious. I am not extra happy even having a cat where I live. But he is my daughter's, it is her home, and I am slowly becoming friends with the cat. To me, animals are best being outside. There are lots of good animal houses to let them live in.
Wine on Wedding Dress Story = I saw the wine going through the dress before OP finished describing the reveal. Water would have the same effect. The bride is troubled.
I swear one of my first thoughts was "wouldn't it just leak through to the bottom layer?" As soon as OP described the plan. This plan was stupid from the start.
If I were “dog mom” I would make them all buy her out of the holiday home, make them pay her for her third of the property, even if it means they have to sell up and split the money after the sale...
Story 1: The commenter who said OP was the a-hole is way off! Wtf! An adult with kids doesn't need to rest in her sister's boyfriend's house. Anna needs to be more responsible for her children's sake.
Story 1. How on earth can people say OP is the AH or everyone is the AH?! Its HIS house!! She 'CHIPS IN" then has the audacity to say its HER house too??!!!! Seriously? Its NOT her house, its HIS and she is mooching off of him while he pays for 90% of everything. Why oh why do so many of these boyfriends pay the entire way for their girlfriends? Being in the boyfriend/girlfriend stage is NOT the same as being married. You want to help your wife who made a commitment to you by paying the bills while she gets her degree? Fine, that makes sense. But girlfriend can dump you the day after graduation and make her nice living for the rest of her life while you saved zero money paying for all her and household bills. How is he an AH towards her? She made a copy of that key behind his back months ago. Disregarding whatever he said. Behind his back because she knew he wouldn't allow it. If she wants to help her sister that badly, she should give her sister all of her money because she has saved plenty by only chipping in to her boyfriends household expenses. Why is she forcing her sisters problems on to her boyfriend? He should dump her immediately for using him like a convenience.
That comment or on the first story is talking like the sister was gonna stay true to their word and only be there a few hours. If OP let her stay, she'd never leave.
1st Story: Not even close to being the asshole, giving the key to your house to someone else is a huge breach. Her excuse of saying that the sister was going to be there for "just a few hours" is bullshit, the girlfriend was planning on moving her in and hoping you wouldn't have the stones to throw her out when you got home. For me that would be the end of it, the trust would be gone and so would the girlfriend.
Story 3: YTA - Entitled much, Karen? I'll bet they feel just as inconvenienced if/when you have another kid. Their family planning is not your business, even if it's pets. No one is required to revolve their lives around your family vacations. Wow!
I think it depends on the pets & any possible allergies. I’ve come across very well behaved pets & pets with irresponsible owners. (Had one who let her dogs nip at everyone because it was a small dog & she was lazy.) If they’re responsible owners & everyone with allergies are prepared, I don’t understand the anger op has.
My mother had an extravagant ring, at the time worth much less than OPs. She kept it in a safe deposit box at the bank and would take it out every other Friday as she did her in person banking and I think some of her bill paying, wearing the ring until she was done. She would then put it back in the box. For a time she had another ring that belonged to her friend, a guarantee on a personal loan, and she would wear that one in the Fridays. Her own ring I think she would wear it out only once or twice a year to a fancy event.
Last story: Your mother gave the ring to you, so it's yours. Now, as others have mentioned, get a safe big enough for valuables and important, confidential paperwork. Change the locks on your home, and ban your cousins from your home. Tell them why, then go no contact with them. Go low or no contact with your mother. These security steps should fix the security problems. As to fixing the relationship with your mother, why do you want to? She is who she is, and isn't going to turn into the mom you want her to be.
Kinda hilarious all the holier than thou people claiming he should just take in the sister because well it's his girlfriend so he might as well be marrying the both of them. Sure it's extreme not to give her the key but he's basically bankrolling her whole life and she's taking advantage of that privilege
Agree
Pretty sure they missed "burned bridges with most of her family" part meaning even the parent's are done with her crap and she even has grandkid's
You can tell it's women calling him an asshole. If the tables were turned it'd be so different. Disgusting.
Totally agree, gf is crazy. Hope OP dumps her crazy disrespect with giving another key to her sister.
@@crystalval9364 yep totally crazy letting her sister go in the house for a couple hours how f’ing insane. Well the non holy people have spoken, the people should help people have spoken.
"Sister just needed somewhere to stay for a few hours." And OP is supposed to believe that it's for "just a few hours" after finding out that his explicit instructions about the house he owns have been ignored and an unauthorized key was made? I don't think so.
Exactly, she can wait in a coffee shop for a few hours, but that wasn't the plan now was it? GF and her sister are both leeches.
Yep. This is falling into "blame the victim" territory.
"It's my house too!" No sweetie, it isn't. You're acting like a total short-timer. Super entitled. Whatever degree you get I hope you can support your sister and her kids.
@@4bibimimi I feel sorry for OP. If he wants to boot his gf, she probably has tenants rights and he will have to formally evict her. Can’t just throw her stuff out on the lawn and say, sorry, you don’t live here any longer.
What will change in a few hour??
If he is controlling by not giving her a key, then she can find her freedom by moving the hell out!
This
And be a deadbeat like her sister
@@SnowyWolborg easy to do with someone else’s property. Wait till she moves out of her bfs place because of it. She won’t be so keen on being nice to her sister once it’s her problem alone.
Amen
The sister showed up with bags. It was NOT for a couple hours.
Exactly, the sister was set for a long stay and OP would have had a hard time getting her to leave.
@@patrikbengtsson3883 the commenter was one of the
Typical holier than thou Reddit commenters
of course not, they just expected op not to do a thing because they were already there and all moved in
@@patrikbengtsson3883 come on Man, it's pretty obvious, don't be that dense and naive. Reddit is full of those people
Actually, OP said "a bag", singular. Could have been a diaper bag, could have been a suitcase. No way to tell from the description.
However, I expect anything else Anna needed was packed and ready to be moved in. If Anna just needed a place for a few hours, there's any number of places she and the kids could have gone. Parks, libraries, etc. Or Ashton could have loaned her the money to get a hotel or motel room for the night.
Story1: Huge NTA. Sister is a moocher and a loser. Ashton wants to help? Fine, but she can do it on her own time. Giving her a spare key without OP's permission is a huge red flag. At a minimum, Ashton goes to the dog-house. If she doesn't face consequences, she'll think it's ok to disregard boundaries in the future. Time for her to decide if she really wants to be with OP.
Also to add she had the key made and gifted her It months back, from the way op tells the story the request to move in was at somepoint in the last week!
Ashton feeling responsible for her sister makes her total poison. Run!
They’re both users or leeches! And the OP had every right to restrict Aston’s access after she gave a key to someone who didn’t live there! I’d kick Aston out (legally of course) and break up with her! What she did is not okay!
@@jake8748 What a load of nonsense and yes on "Because he paid for food he gets to decide what they eat etc."
@@jake8748 maybe the writing is on the wall and the girlfriend is on her way out. Degree in hand she had a sugar daddy during her education, and never consider she wasn't investing in OP'S house, her contribution was less than rent. And she took it for granted.
Story 1: I don't understand how someone can say that OP is an idiot, given the fact that his girlfriend didn't give two caps about his rules. Also, a few hours may turn into a few days, and what happens when the sister is there long enough to be recognized as a tenant? Lastly, I agree with the person that mentioned how useful OP will be once the girlfriend gets her masters degree. Quite frankly, it seems that she is treating OP like a work study program instead of a partner.
It's just a few hours...... It's already late, it's just overnight...... It's just a few days, they're kids for christ sake...... it's just until she finds a job and a place to live.... you can't kick them out, they love their new school, and school friends! This is their home!
@@goddessmelanisia Exactly. It never fails.
Because he's a man who won't turn himself into a pretzel kissing the ass of his girlfriend and her sister. Who, by the way, is a single mother and therefore sacred.
@@goddessmelanisia it's not the issue.
It's Op's house and he lets whoever he wants in or not.
And the reality is he would never had to kick her out, if she couldn't have been able to get in the first place.
Or are we gonna ignore that before all this, op's gf already made a copy of op's house key months ago behind his back ?
If she hadn't gone behind his back, the gf would have had to ask and they wouldn't have gotten in.
And she could have gone to a McDonald's for a few hours like any normal person and the gf could backroll that if she wants to help that bad.
Pretty sure the kids would have liked that better.
Ppl need to stop acting like she can't litteraly entertain her own kids outside of her house for a few hours.
If she, can't she shouldn't have custody.
Also the bf was moving out in the end so she wasn't homeless.
And this is bs enabler crap you're spouting.
The fact that everyone gives her a millions chances bc she has kids is the reason why she hasn't pulled her crap together.
Why have a plan b if everyone is always gonna bail you out ?
You think that's fair to her kids ? Her never getting better ?
Op gave her resources and places she could go.
And see that ? When he said no, she figured it out and the bf moved out and they kept the place.
Those kids aren't moving anywhere or loosing any friends.
And you know what ? If they do it's their mothers fault.
Op is not their father and should hmnot have to take responsibility for them.
You do realise op can also loose his job or land in a bad place ?
Every cent he would have given he would never see it back.
Also what if op gets kids ? He's supposed to take from his kids to give to hers ?
No this not acceptable and short sighted as hell.
@@greyscalesx you know that Melanisia was agreeing right she was just laying out the argument that the partner and sister would use
The wedding one was hilarious. Oh poor entitled person got what she wanted. Hilarious!
Bridezilla: I want an apology for what I asked you to do.
EX- BF: I’m sorry that I picked an idiot for a best friend… that is all.
I mean wine of all things? why not water? yes less dramatic maybe but at least that dries if it would soak through
If ANYONE is living in my house for free and tries to move more people into my house without my consent then they can get tf out and be homeless with the sister too. Everyone knows that bag wasn't for a few hours, she was going to allow the sister to move in bit by bit.
Those commenters saying that OP over-reacted by throwing Ashton out when he wasn't even home need to stop and think about how much damage her kids could do, and how much she could steal, in those "few hours." The woman is a parasite. These are not OP's monkeys and not his circus, and anyone who let that irresponsible woman and her kids into MY house, alone, leaving them to their own devices, would be begging to get back inside, themself.
And once she got in for just a "few hours" could turn to days instead
Most importantly, I have no doubt they would react the same way. lol
@@beverlyarcher3744 Yeah. I was pretty sure 'a few hours' would turn into 'months'.
@@condorboss3339 I think she was looking for something a little longer, like until her spawn turn 18
Story 2: NTA. It was HER idea and HER over acting that did this. It sounds like once again she’s being overly dramatic.
The drama queen needs to get over herself. Yuck 🤢. That’s a Bad friend, Idk why people enable that sort of behaviour.
I wholeheartedly agree
@@SnowyWolborg of course she hasn't learned shit, she's a drama queen & thrives off the attention. I feel sorry for her husband cuz she, at the very least, will be a constant embarrassment to him with her drama. At worst she'll be a serial cheater cuz she NEEDS the drama & attention to function, it's like breathing to drama queens.
How stupid do you have to be to be unaware that a tulle skirt is nothing but a strainer for wine? It is open weave and insubstantial, only looking "poofy" because of having many layers of netting, a fluffy "colander" of sorts, the dimwitted, egotistical bride is 100% at fault!
As I was reading it I suddenly said to myself "oooh, bad idea".
More Reddit wisdom/conclusions:
- Drama/drama queens fade quickly as an entertainment source. Leave it for the soap operas, not friendships.
- Wedding flashiness is a waste of money and sanity. Just say no.
Story 1: Making a key to your house without permission is a red flag. If she paid rent or you were married or even if all things being equal, you would still have to both agree because even if you only owned half, your view should be heard and respected. If you both can’t agree , she shouldn’t let someone in. You had reasons you didn’t trust her sister or feel like your home would be safe or comfortable and livable with her in it. Staying for a few hours certainly does NOT require an illegally copied house key.
I disagree with the YTA comment for story 1. She copied a key behind his back and did so WELL before talking about her sister. In all likelihood, op’s gf planned from the get go to let her sister stay irregardless of whether her bf and homeowner agreed, thus she made a copy key with the sole pre planned intention of giving her sister a key and letting a trespasser in. Now, even IF OP had issues, he was NEVER given a choice to let gf sister stay a few hours as he wasn’t even asked but giving her a key isn’t something you usually do for a short term guest either. Thus, I think it’s wholly unfair to declare him the ahole since it wasn’t a matter of her staying a few hours but a matter of breaking and entering cause it was done without permission or even asking him. He also said he already dealt with her and tried to help her many times but she didn’t appreciate it nor try to help herself or improve her situation thus he was annoyed and fed up but he STILL offered to help or even help her find a place, he just didn’t want her living with him as he had enough of her apparent entitlement.
Story 2: Not the idiot. I can’t help wondering in fact if your so called friend Katie ruined the moment on purpose to create unnecessary drama because she planned it. Personally, I would have suggested a stunt double waiter or actor or someone professional to ensure minimal risk of screw up, but it was a bad idea from the start that you tried and failed to talk her out of, and frankly, there wouldn’t be a chance I’d apologize for something I didn’t do but in fact she herself did as she didn’t even follow the original plan to strip out right away thus increasing my belief and likelihood that she did so intentionally. I’d go nc for awhile and if she keeps insisting that her actions were somehow your fault? I suggest finding better friends not user abusers like her.
Story 1: NTA. OP's name is on the house since he owns it and he pays majority of the household expenses, and since the GF doesn't pay rent, I don't think he'll have a hard time kicking her out if he wants to. She had no business giving her sister a key if he obviously expressed to her that he doesn't want her living there. I'm wondering if the sister can have her children live with the fathers while she's in between housing or until she get's back on her feet at some women's shelter. That's something I would suggest
He gave her that type of information: a variety of institutions and places that could help her. She refused them all.
You still have to go through proper eviction steps though. Once a person lives there after a set period of days, usually days, without an agreement of visiting, they become a tenant.
Your house your rules. GF had no business giving her sister a key.
@@ButtonsCasey No, not in the States. She is not on the property deed; she has no rental agreement and she isn't paying rent. On any day she leaves, he can pack her stuff in garbage bags or boxes and set it outside for her to retrieve.
We do not have Squatter's rights in the states. If they leave the structure where they are squatting, you can lock them out.
Then SHE would have to sue him, and she has nothing to prove she actually lived there.
@@Objective-Observer Sorry, but the USA does have squatters rights, but it varies from state to state, and it specifically refers to abandoned property that’s still owned by someone. I didn’t have time to look up “renters rights”; that is, someone that’s been living in a house with permission, but has not signed a formal agreement, whether paying or not.
Edit: There ARE also so-called “tenant rights” (I’m sure that also varies from state to state) that say that even though someone has no formal contract, if they’ve been living there for more than X number of days, you have to FORMALLY evict them. Get papers drawn up, serve them, etc. , etc.
Katie's dress wouldnt have gotten stained if she wasnt being a drama queen. Who doesnt realize the longer you wait, the more a liquid is going to seep into fabric?
She could have prevented it if she commissioned a special "Skirt" with a protective layer in between..
Story 1: NTA. This woman sounds like a hot mess. You’ve given plenty of help and if your Girlfriend doesn’t like it she can start paying bills around there.
Let the GF get her own place and move the sister and kids in!
That last commenter - lol - just a few hours. Sure. Then overnight. then by the weekend. Then by the end of the month ...guy made the right decision.
@@briansmaller7443 last commenter had to be the sister, or his girlfriend. If I were him I would toss the girlfriend too. she is also a leech.
@@briansmaller7443 and don't forget he'd be buying all the food as well. can't let the wee ones starve.
I'm also willing to bet op's gf will leave him once she finishes her master and finds a better boyfriend.
My advice to op is, do NOT put the house in her name nor or ever, or she'll dump him and then expect him to give her half the house's value
@@Jerseybytes2 Yup he is a minimal cost place to live when she gets the job with her degree she will be out. She proved this by giving her sister a key.
OP's girlfriend disregarded his wishes and secretly made a key for her sister. The people scolding OP for "not allowing a stressed out woman and two kids a safe place to rest for a few hours" are CRAZY. These women have BOTH shown an utter lack of respect for OP's rights and a total lack of appreciation for the very generous and supportive partner he has been in giving his s.o. the freedom to concentrate on her studies without having to even think about rent, food, utilities or any of the many things most of us struggled with when we were pursuing our educations. Can OP REALLY trust these women...especially given sister's usual m.o.? "A few hours" is NOT what they have in mind.
Know what I think? I think they have this idea that sister gets in with her pitiful little one bag and her little children...turns on the tears for OP(after all, he's been a reliable source for handouts...both those he himself gave knowingly and doubtless through secret handouts from the household funds and pantry that his s.o. has given her. The key would NOT have been the first) and OP would give in. Sister and her boyfriend may well have lost their lease...I REALLY doubt the story that she only needs a place to stay while he is moving out...but the ultimate goal is to move sister and the kids into OP's house with ALL their stuff indefinitely. And...if the state of sister's relationship is a lie...or it improves dramatically...OP is likely to come home and find the boyfriend moved in with them. And if not him, then the NEXT irresponsible manchild sister picks to father her next baby or two. "You CAN'T deny those kids a father!" would be their line. They will treat OP's home like their own...entertain their friends whenever they wish...have their children's parties there...expect OP to foot the bill...and contribute nothing. OP would find that the more he allowed, the more they would expect. He will NOT be asked if sister's man needs to "borrow" a suit or OP's car....he'll just wake up one morning to find them gone.
If OP's s.o. didn't ask before giving the key to his home out to her sister without OP's knowledge or consent, KNOWING his objections...and sister accepted it also knowing that this was the case...then this will NOT be the last time they scheme together to get their way. People who call OP the idiot or the a hole have lost their dang minds.
Did they also miss the part where he said he’s helped the sister out in the past? What planet are they living on? OP Full well knows that a few hours will turn into a few days which will turn into a few weeks which will turn into…….
@@GrumpyOldFart2 EXACTLY. If THEY were faced with the same situation, I doubt they would be so cavalier.
If that was the case of bf moving out she could have taken her brats out somewhere like the park or drive around instead of breaking into a house
That commenter was definitely Ashton.
@@beverlyarcher3744 that was such a lie. She moved in with the bf. And she can’t afford rent because she hasn’t been working. So if his name is the one on the lease, why would he be going anywhere? They really didn’t spend anytime on their cover story
1:NTA
It's OP's house, Gf has no right to give keys out to anyone to her sister.
There is a reason why the sister’s family has stop helping her. OP is not responsible for this woman’s poor choices. Who know she what her and her children would done while unsupportive in OP home. I can understand why he does not trust his girlfriend to make more keys.
That last poster is so clueless. There is nothing to stop the sister from staying in the house longer than a few hours if OP let her stay.
Get rid of girlfriend! Do NOT let sister even visit your house.
Story 1;
What even are those YTA comments? Some redditors need to go outside to take a breather and touch some grass. Maybe pick up some common sense along the way.
"lEt tHat PoOr WoMAn tAke a BReAtHer"
Inconveniencing women on reddit is a big NO NO
Why should Op be obligated to house leach? Yes, situation is terrible but it’s not your place and you set your boundaries. These YTA and ESH obviously do not know Or has not had toxic family to come up with that logic
I wouldn't let that sister in period. Who knows if you could get her back out! OP should have kicked GF out too or at least reminded her that was an option for her if she didn't like it that her sister was banned from his home.
Ashton's sister and kids wouldn't have been there for just a few hours. She could have spent a few hours at the park or a library if she needed to give her ex time to move out, which is a lie since he wouldn't have moved out of his own place since she moved in with him. Once sister and children had been inside, Ashton would have said they are already here so you have to let them stay since they have nowhere else to go. She and sister were trying to play him by making it impossible to say no. OP needs a new gf since he cannot trust this one.
Ashton probably put a bill in her sisters name when she made her the key so if this situation came to pass they would be able to claim squatters rights
Girlfriend and sister are a hot mess. The key thing should be relationship over.
Story 1: So the yta commenter either skipped the part where the sister brought a bag to op's house ( i doubt it was a baby bag because that wouldn't be out of the ordinary for a parent with an infant or young toddler ) when she was only supposed to be there for a " breather " or just ignored that part because it contradicted their portrayal of op as a heartless monster and the sister as an innocent down on her luck victim. I disagree with the esh commenter as well. Ashton has already proven she will go behind op's back to get her way and has already tried to laid claim to op's home and somehow it's unreasonable for op not to trust her with a key when they're in this situation because she made at least one copy of the previous one and handed it/them out without op's knowledge. In my opinion he hasn't done enough. Honestly if I can't trust a person not to try and sneak people into my house against my wishes I don't think that person should be living in my house either. Especially if I work in sales a field that could require me to be away long enough for the unwanted guest(s) to swoop in and establish tenancy.
Breather probbaly meant a day or two.
@@nardopolo7407 A breather could be a day or so and would have made more sense than the excuse he was given even if the outcome would probably be the same. However op stated in the post Ashton claimed her sister would only be there for a few hours when he confronted her which likely confirmed the ding on his bs radar because why would she need a bag if she would only be there for a few hours ?
@@raymondjohnson2744 also if she needs a few hours why not go to a mall or something or a park/ playground.
Story 1 what is it with the comments having ago at OP over not letting the hot mess sister stay at OP's house for a few hours...ummm the issue was the sister illegally having a key aka breach of security. Otherwise you can bet it was not intended to be a few hours. The GF needs to respect OP more.
OP being male probably doesn't help.
Well, he's a man. Why be fair? What consequences will there be?
@@logicphile6207 Exactly. Men are fair game.
@@brigidtheirish I agree. women are fair game.
@@logicphile6207 That's... not what I said.
Story 1: to the ESH and YTA nope x100 that's not how it works gf doesn't pay morgage or anything she has no say in who can stay at all just cause she has a key copy doesn't mean squat i swear do some of these people even READ the story
The YTA commenter is probably Ashton or the sister 🤪
So OP has 3 kids and SIL has 3 dogs and she's bothered by them in the families vacation home?
Has OP considered that her kids might be just as annoying to the SIL? And it's not even OP's family home, it's the SIL's! The nerve of this woman.
Yeah, OP could have just as easily found other accommodations if she hates dogs so much
I don't believe the dogs are the actual problem, based on what she said and how she said it looks like she resents sil for not having kids while she is stuck with 3, while on vacation she is probably enjoying herself while op is running around taking care of the kids. Her getting another dog just signaled to her that sil won't be having any kid soon and she got jealous and angry, the dog was just the excuse she used.
I find kids annoying and hate them but you don't hear me telling their parents to stop bringing them though I would if it was my ADHD/autistic nephew if it was my house he gets under my skin easily I have a lot more trouble handling mentally handicapped kids i think most of it comes from that kid in 6th grade he kinda turned me against them it finally came down to me telling the teacher either move him or the kid would get in trouble as he kept inappropriately touching me messing with my bra and distracting me while I was trying to pay attention to the teacher think it was an experiment to see if he was ready to be in a class not special Ed for an hour all ik after that he wasn't in the class anymore
@@flavialm1 most ppl consider pets as family plus side don't have to spend years training dogs unlike kids
@@beverlyarcher3744 I know that, I have 2 dogs that are like my children, that has nothing to do with what I comented
The OP with the ring should get a safety deposit box at a bank to keep the cousins or mom from getting the ring. If it's not in the house, it can't be stolen from the house.
Exactly what I was thinking
As both a daughter and a mother, I cannot stress enough how much the "children owe it to their parents" mentality infuriates me. Thanking my mom when she gives us something to eat or drink just to piss her off has become a frequent joke between my siblings and I, all adults by now. And, regarding my children, they didn't ask to be born, it was my decision. And feeding them, clothing them, and keeping a roof over their heads is what I signed up for. Oh, one more thing, I want them to grow up to live their own lives, not to be my retirement plan. Ugh!
Anyways, thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
The last person to comment on first story sounded like a doormat lol
Crazy stories. I swear some people just think they own everything that exists on this planet.
you mean i don't own the brooklyn bridge I saw it one day and said mine.
Why the hell should Op be obligated to help someone who is burned many bridges from people? That YTA comment really should try putting himself in Op shoes instead of just berating Op being cruel just because he won’t have a leach, i’m just saying because it’s the right thing. Probably does not understand what it’s like to have or cut somebody off. Op has valid reason for not taking in this person. Her situation is her problem. Also, I would dump the girlfriend if she goes against your wishes like that. That last comment out of his mind. Let’s see if he makes the same judgment once he’s been burned by leaches.
Let me tell you, my mom has cut off a lot of toxic family members. Extend the olive branch it’s the people who hurt you not the people who’s been hurt.
Some of these commie commenters are generous with other peoples property...I would put the gf on 30 day notice, if she chooses to infringe on your property rights...this is a red flag by the gf giving her sister a spare key! She has no respect for property right...
It took me a really long time to figure out the “problem” with the dog story. Literally not OP’s problem, right, responsibility, any of it. If you don’t want a dog around, then don’t go where there are dogs.
Another dog? Sounds like a lot of fun to me! Just another one to spoil & cuddle.
The OP just wants them to have kids, like her.
Story 2: NTA. She literally asked you to spill wine on her dress.
Katie is a twonk. Who would have thought liquid soaks through fabric?
Spending a few hours with all its belongings and suitcases... yeah ok!!! Hahahahaha no, if it was just until the ex moves out it wouldn't need all its property with it and especially after trying already to convince op to let them all move in.
Loool gotta love the “YTA” comments on that first story “How dare you not let this unemployed leech into your house where she definitely won’t leave and DEFINITELY wont work”
If OP and his gf are the ONLY people that the sister could turn to then it speaks VOLUMES about her.
NTA OP but tbh you should dump your gf, she doesn’t respect your bondaries and is taking advantage of you.
I love how someone said he was an asshole, if her own family has given up on her how is he the asshole? Dependng in where they live if she gets mail sent there she can declare residency and he would have to fight to get her out. Some home share places learned this the hard way and some ended up losing their homes because these people know the laws so well and certain states protect the tenants way more then the home owners. That’s a warning to anyone considering these things. Heavily look into the laws in the state because in some it’s like living somewhere for 6 days and mail addressed there and bam you’re now a resident and you have to go to court to get them out. (There’s even a Reddit story where this person had someone try exactly that, they said to get a boiler fixed they needed to stay with them for six days, it was the specific days that was highly suspicious for something that you can pay to be fixed in like a day or two)
She'll stay there for only a few hours, yet she made a key for her. The GF is lying
Woman: I live here, it’s my house.
Man: I paid for this house before we even met, my name is on the deed, it’s my house. You’re just living in it.
There is no way I want 3 extra people in my home, especially children who aren’t mine, for more than a few days max. You can’t trust this situation, once she was in, she’d never leave. Guy has to give a key, she will just have to promise to not hand out another one, that’s a massive breach of trust.
Call your cousin and tell her she's no longer welcome in your home and think she's creepy for going through your personal documents.
Story 2: NTA. She dragged out the moment, giving the wine enough time to seep through. You gotta slap her in the face with this information. Not physical I might add. It's annoying whenever people get mad at someone for their own stupidity.
Not a smart move by any of them. But I would have used water in a wine glass. I’m overly cautious though.
@@dianeweger6874 that was fast thinking. Its always good to be cautious. But being overly cautious also exists. Which doesn't mean that you are overly cautious. I can sense a healthy amount of cautiosness in you. 🤓
Ashton is going to leave this guy as soon as she's done with her Master's anyway.
Final Story: NTA. What part of “Gift” does she not understand? Just because your not as close as you once were and someone kinda thinks they can use the money doesn’t invoke adult takesy backsy.
The audacity of the person saying he was the idiot in the first story because "she was going through a bad time" and completely ignoring the fact that she's proven to be an irresponsibly bad person who got herself in that situation.
Couple of points about Ashton and her sister. Both were very clearly told by OP that Anna and her children were to have no access at all - absolutely NO ifs buts or maybes. There is a comment made by a reader that Ashton is a tenant; she is not as she does not pay any rent, does not have a contract or anything legal giving her that position. Therefore, handing a copy of a key out to her sister she could be made liable for a number of things. Anna by the virtue of OP refusing access has trespassed and probably other legal breaches. For me, it is very simple Ashton not only broke trust she totally destroyed it, fully disrespected the property owner by overriding his wishes and showed entitlement which was not deserved; and for this she would be taking the long walk of no return! Bye bye Ashton!
In some places, just living somewhere for a specified length of time gives the squatter tenants rights. He will probably have to follow legal protocol to evict her, unless she leaves of her own accord.
Story 1: break up with the gf, kick her out and change the locks.
if she doesn't respect you, she just sees as resources to give to her family so send her on her way!
you just learned that she is not the one.
Op IS the idiot for not kicking his girlfriend out of the house for that stunt.
Wait? The woman with the dogs owns the vacation home? Easy fix, no more giving family access to the vacation home
Shes a part owner and I think she can force them to sell it
@@squirrel670 I don’t think she can force them to sell it but she can force and the buyer out if they don’t have enough money to buy her out then they would have to sell it
@@wolves600 i saw one where the others could have afforded a buyout but op chose to sell on principle. I probably depends on where they live.
Sorry but I think Ashton needs to go. If you’ve reached the point where she lives with you but you have to manually allow her to enter the garage bc you can’t trust her with a key or the code, it’s time to end this relationship
Say to Mom you gave me the ring as a gift. You don't take gifts back. Cousins cut them out like cancer. Time to go NC with that side of the family.
Story 1: When 2 people live together (regardless of who is paying for what) BOTH must agree to someone else coming to stay/live there, or it shouldn't happen, PERIOD. This is honestly just basic courtesy & respect for your housemate (let alone if you're in a romantic relationship). And I'm suspicious of Ashton's claim that her sister was _'only going to be there for a few hours'._
To me, it looks like an attempt to get her in the house under false pretenses, then something would _conveniently_ go wrong, leaving sister with 'nowhere to go' again, necessitating that she stay (which likely would've led to Ashton pulling the _'if she goes, I go'_ card). Sister was described by OP (when he saw her letting herself in) as having a 'bag' with her... If she was only going to be there for a few hours, why would she need a bag?
I don't see this relationship with Ashton working out.
Ashton would be finding a new boyfriend after that. How is this an ESH for the first one? His house and he does not want some one he does not trust in it.
Get rid of Ashton and her sister and the kids, you are NTA, they are.
1: NTA. They are not married and that is his house. She contributes but in no way does she have any ownership. Her sister can't be trusted to take care of her own life or belongings and she still took it upon herself to give her sister a key to a house that she has no ownership of without the knowledge of her boyfriend and neglected to tell him they were coming at all until she was caught out lying when he saw them coming into his home uninvited by him using a key he did not approve of her having. Literally any of the shady men she brought home or she herself could have let themselves in his house and stolen anything they wanted. And we all know that bullshit about her staying only a few hours was a BOLD FACED LIE. She had already asked to move in pulling the sad single mom going through hard times card despite being given all the resources to solve her problem herself and they both berated him. We all know girlfriend and her sister conspired to have them set up in his house while he was working so that when he came home they would already be set up and with the kids there in person they could guilt and bully him into letting them stay. That is what they did. Because if the truth was that they would only be there a couple of hours he probably would have accepted that much if she had bothered to tell him. She didn't. Because that was a lie. He should not be responsible for his girlfriends sisters poor life choices. His home is also where he works 50% of the time and having her and her kids there all day every day indefinitely would make things much harder. In all the time she was with her now ex she didn't get a job even once? She didn't even offer to try looking if she moved in. She just expected handouts. She can get housing and food assistance fairly easily especially in the case that she will be homeless otherwise. The government gives emergency benefits fairly easily but on the basis that you be actively searching for work and reporting to them on applications you put in. It's much easier for women to get and keep assistance than men especially if they're pregnant or have kids. She has no excuse. She didn't do it because she doesn't want to work. From the sounds of everything she is just a mooch and when whoever she's with gets sick of her games she goes begging her sister and family for help. And it sounds like everyone else in the family has cut her off except her sister who enables this behavior. She needs to grow up and actually be a proper parent to those kids and get her life together and that doesn't include living rent free at someone else's expense that doesn't want her in their home. OP is NTA and he should reevaluate his relationship considering his girlfriend seems pretty okay with handing over his property to whoever she wants without permission and not respecting his boundaries or feelings.
We all know people never mean what they say "just a few hours" is a lie it will be oh she's stressed, he's taking to long to leave HIS home , run from both those girls it will never end
story 1: people are bashing OP saying he has no empathy for the sister but remember this is the 3rd time she's done this and she was warned in the beginning. So if a meth head OD's for the 20th time, are you still supposed to say it's OK for them to do it and let them disrupt your life so they can do it for a 21st time?
First story. NTA. Dump her ASAP, OP. She broke your trust. She do it one time and she will do it again. All in the name "Helping her sister" that didn't have a brain to helping herself and changed her situation.
I read/listen to these stories and thank my lucky stars that I live 1000 miles from my relatives and that no one has keys to our home anyway.
Safety deposit box.... don't even keep the ring on your property!
"... Invest in a safe" what she needs to do is get a good quality replica made, then hide it in her jewellery box. When the ring is eventually stolen and they have it appraised it will be worthless. It would be a nice touch if the daughter asked the mother to help look, since it is worthless she may miraculously find the ring and all will be right with the world.
The daughter gets the ring and puts one over on the mother, the mother gets the smug self satisfaction that the daughter was duped and is paying to insure paste.
Not healthy or mature but tactically the best option.
this is so beautifully petty 😭💖
Making a cheap replica to be stolen is a good idea because they won’t stop until they have the ring
First story, NTI, in America squatters have more rights then the actual property owners, getting rid of them is more then just a pain in the a$$, it’s a LONG legal headache.
It's not messy. Tell her go and get your own house and let your sister live with you. He should break up with his GF. All the people who side against you,Why don't they let the sister move in there with them? NO OK then. So why should I, if you are not going to do it?
The vacation house story: if I was the sister, I'd just insist on breaking up the house to be 50-50. In laws and op can take the house 50% of the time, then SIL can have the rest. OP obviously is the AH here.
She only owns 25% at the most.
@@GhostRider-sc9vu she may own more because it depends who paid for the majority of the house
@@lovethefeelingofspring5973 True but it cannot be assumed she does.
ikr
Either way she owns more than the SIL whose name is not on the paperwork.
Story #1: Sounds like it’s time to dump your girlfriend. She is not that much better her toxic sister.
The only way for that to have worked is if she stripped out of the overdress immediately. Like faking panic instead of anger. She played herself. The only thing you could have done would have been to refuse to participate in the first place.
BS to the commenters who want you to take in the dead beat sis and kids. I'd tell the commenters to take them in since they are so concerned.
The dog story...'my, my, my' a huge a-hole, shaming someone for 3 dogs? Did you think how your having additional kids is selfish and makes the rest of the family accommodations for your choices? When everyone else cuts off a toxic family member, OP needs to decide why everyone else has already done it, and so the same. Last story, OP mom gifted it, not it is OP's and the mom and flying monkeys need to be cut off
Sister needs to get a job and take care of her own responsibilities. Not someone else
story1; No everyone is not the idiot here, it is OP's house the GF doesn't pay squat therefore she has absolutely NO say as to who lives there, it is OP's house he can toss out anyone he likes or in this case doesn't like, he doesn't owe a single one of these freeloaders a damn thing.
Story 4: NTA. As bad as it is to not have toilet paper, it is not a emergency. I say send a mass text saying you are focusing on your studies right now and can’t care for her, everyone else is going to have to pick up the slick. Then block as many numbers as possible STARTING with your Mom’s and work on your education.
They can use virtual TP, you use it by getting in the shower.
The mom's kids are 22 and 26, so she can't be too old to take herself to the grocery store to buy what she needs. There's nothing in the story saying she's disabled in any way, so she doesn't need her daughter to go shopping for her, she's just lazy and self centered.
I live 3 states away from my mother, who is very much like the mother in the story. She has burned so many bridges in the past and has outlived her friends and family. I am an only child and, for my own piece of mind, try to keep contact to a minimum. My mother will call and leave a message that it is an emergency for me to call back. When I call back, no emergency. She has mived into an assisted living home, one of the best in the state. Now when she calls and says it's an emergency, when I call her back, I refuse to talk about anything except what the emergency is about. I have told her that I will call management there to tell them if it is a situation their support staff can handle. She hates that I will do that.
0:38)What he did was "head'em off at the pass".If he let Anna and her kids in, he would need years to remove.
Not necessarily years. Weeks, probably; months, possibly.
Had a friend who rented out a place to some people, and they decided to stop paying rent. Took him about 5 months to evict them, with all the legal hoops to be jumped through.
My sister helped a friend of hers evict a woman from the garage of a house he'd purchased. Woman claimed she'd been renting from the previous (now deceased) owner. That took about six weeks, with the mandatory notification periods.
@@rogerrabbit80 8 days ago, a Lehto's Law post told about a Fairfax, Va. house, for sale, with a squatter. A 3 year fight for the 80+ year old owner. He had a cleaning woman who he let "stay for a little while". The kids would make removal more difficult.There was a New York Post story about a man living free for 20+ years after he made one payment to the bank in 1998. The bank foreclosed. It was on Long Island, New York State.The man and several "tenants" filed multiple bankruptcies in order to stay. Add COVID19.
you are being taken for fool just kick you gf out dont giver a key get rid she cannot be trusted....
OP was right not to allow the leech into his house. People like her would not just stay for a few hours but use it as a way to get in and stay. Girlfriend isn't trustworthy and I would rethink relationship.
Story 5: NTA - You wanted it since you were a child, your Mom gifted it to you at your majority, and years later she remarries and asks for it back? I don't think so. Too late! Get it into a safety deposit box at the bank.
Story 1 you need new girfriend that is not leeching of you and that you can trust.
Story 2 You sound like a doormat and your friend sound demanding and abusing.
Your GF sister? Play stupid games win stupid prizes! Your not responsible for her bad choices!
3rd story: In OP's SIL shoes, if possible, I'd sell my part of the family vacation home, and start planning for getting myself a 4th dog. But if it's not possible to sell my part, I'd just go there when the rest of the family don't, and still start planning for that 4th dog. Why not get some cats as well, my dogs gets along just fine with our cats.
Just wonder if she has Dogs or Barking Rats.
OP is a huge a-hole. Why shouldn't SIL get more dogs when OP has a litter of kids?
What I hated was how smug OP was with the mess she stirred up. Hope she and her family doesn't need to call on SIL for help.
@@lyndatuttle I think she was just pissy the dogs prevented her dumping her 3 kids on sil so she could have time for herself
@@velvety2006 yes. How many stories are out there where the couples with children dump their children on their childless single or coupled relatives?
Story 1. What was the last comment YTA because you have no empathy, please OP should break up with the GF both sisters seem like leeches to me.
that was either the girlfriend, or her sister.
@@mimiNana-yi4cy Yeah you are probably right there. Many of the weird comments turn out to be from who the post was about or a close friend/relative.
Why would the sister's family refuse to take her in their homes? It's not OP's responsibility. NTA
Story 1: NTA - You set a boundary, and your girlfriend blew right on past it and did what she wanted in a house where someone else has the final say. I agree, she may be contributing to the household, but in the end, it IS your house, and you have every right to put your foot down. Until or unless you comingle your finances and the house becomes part hers, you get power of veto on new roommates.
Lmao even if she pays half of everything they both need to agree to let someone live there. It's completely unfair to expect him to deal with kids while he's trying to worm from home. The sister made her own bed by dating someone who hates kids, now she needs to lay in it.
People people please know that the YTA for story 1 struck a nerve cos she/he is seeing the mirror when OP describes the SO or Sis
My suggestion is to set up a door lock that reads finger prints. Girl friend doesn't get a key but will be able to get in with finger print. She won't be able to pass a key on to her sister.
Ring OP should get the same thing to protect her ring!
Sister is not self reliant and has learned to manipulate and take advantage of anyone she can. Personally, I would have nothing to do with her. These relatives are a yoke around your neck. Bye , bye…wouldn’t even miss her.
Get rid of both, if she can't respect you now, what's the future going to be like?
Dogs and kids are 100% different.
That yta is ridiculous. It was never going to be a few hours. She was lying. The girlfriend lied. Neither sister can be trusted.
Breach of trust S1
Story 3: YTA. I’m confused, what’s the problem? Do the dogs misbehave? Is someone allergic to the dogs? Are you forced to care for them? Is the only problem literally you just don’t like dogs in the same house your in? If so then your definitely TA.
Dogs misbehave. Even behaving, they can be obnoxious. I am not extra happy even having a cat where I live. But he is my daughter's, it is her home, and I am slowly becoming friends with the cat. To me, animals are best being outside. There are lots of good animal houses to let them live in.
it sounds to me it sounds that op is pissed that she can't dump her 3 kids on sil to babysit because she has the dogs to look after
Three dog! Insane. U can bet there r droppings around the kids. I would have found accommodations out of the house. There will be more dogs.
Wine on Wedding Dress Story = I saw the wine going through the dress before OP finished describing the reveal. Water would have the same effect. The bride is troubled.
I swear one of my first thoughts was "wouldn't it just leak through to the bottom layer?" As soon as OP described the plan. This plan was stupid from the start.
If I were “dog mom” I would make them all buy her out of the holiday home, make them pay her for her third of the property, even if it means they have to sell up and split the money after the sale...
Buy a holiday home next door and holiday at the same time as the in laws.
Story 1: The commenter who said OP was the a-hole is way off! Wtf! An adult with kids doesn't need to rest in her sister's boyfriend's house. Anna needs to be more responsible for her children's sake.
Story 1. How on earth can people say OP is the AH or everyone is the AH?! Its HIS house!! She 'CHIPS IN" then has the audacity to say its HER house too??!!!! Seriously? Its NOT her house, its HIS and she is mooching off of him while he pays for 90% of everything. Why oh why do so many of these boyfriends pay the entire way for their girlfriends? Being in the boyfriend/girlfriend stage is NOT the same as being married. You want to help your wife who made a commitment to you by paying the bills while she gets her degree? Fine, that makes sense. But girlfriend can dump you the day after graduation and make her nice living for the rest of her life while you saved zero money paying for all her and household bills. How is he an AH towards her? She made a copy of that key behind his back months ago. Disregarding whatever he said. Behind his back because she knew he wouldn't allow it. If she wants to help her sister that badly, she should give her sister all of her money because she has saved plenty by only chipping in to her boyfriends household expenses. Why is she forcing her sisters problems on to her boyfriend? He should dump her immediately for using him like a convenience.
ST-1. I don’t know about this GF. You need to get rid of her, this will always be a problem
That comment or on the first story is talking like the sister was gonna stay true to their word and only be there a few hours. If OP let her stay, she'd never leave.
1st Story: Not even close to being the asshole, giving the key to your house to someone else is a huge breach. Her excuse of saying that the sister was going to be there for "just a few hours" is bullshit, the girlfriend was planning on moving her in and hoping you wouldn't have the stones to throw her out when you got home. For me that would be the end of it, the trust would be gone and so would the girlfriend.
Have nothing to do with both of them
Story 3: YTA - Entitled much, Karen? I'll bet they feel just as inconvenienced if/when you have another kid. Their family planning is not your business, even if it's pets. No one is required to revolve their lives around your family vacations. Wow!
i wonder if op just disliked the dogs because it kept her from using sil as a free babysitter during the vacations
I think it depends on the pets & any possible allergies. I’ve come across very well behaved pets & pets with irresponsible owners. (Had one who let her dogs nip at everyone because it was a small dog & she was lazy.) If they’re responsible owners & everyone with allergies are prepared, I don’t understand the anger op has.
She wants them to have a human child, not be dog parents.
My mother had an extravagant ring, at the time worth much less than OPs. She kept it in a safe deposit box at the bank and would take it out every other Friday as she did her in person banking and I think some of her bill paying, wearing the ring until she was done. She would then put it back in the box. For a time she had another ring that belonged to her friend, a guarantee on a personal loan, and she would wear that one in the Fridays. Her own ring I think she would wear it out only once or twice a year to a fancy event.
Don't vacation together. It's super weird.
Last story: Your mother gave the ring to you, so it's yours. Now, as others have mentioned, get a safe big enough for valuables and important, confidential paperwork. Change the locks on your home, and ban your cousins from your home. Tell them why, then go no contact with them. Go low or no contact with your mother. These security steps should fix the security problems. As to fixing the relationship with your mother, why do you want to? She is who she is, and isn't going to turn into the mom you want her to be.