Story 1: NTA so Joey doesn't like you because you are an affair baby but he has no problem with sleeping with his brother's fiance and using his brother to have a baby? Wow just wow, he is just disgusting and so are April, Jess and everyone blaming OP because he is a hero.
Bus Story: Husband is an idiot and I wouldn’t have even bothered to ask if it was taken. I would have just sat down then told him to f@#$ off when he complained. Told him the seat was empty and that I could sit there if I wanted. OP was polite about the whole matter. Good for OP.
I would have just shrugged my shoulders at anyone staring at me and act as if nothing had happened. What an ignorant pig - either move the hand or I sit on it.
@@Tijggie82 Lol, I kind of wish OP went with something similar to what the first commenter said; "look sir, I understand you want to sit next to your wife, but I assure you, Mrs. Right Hand will be just as comfortable on your lap as she is on my seat" in a cloyingly sweet voice.
First story: Always out the cheaters. This whole thing is worthy of a Jerry Springer show. It is better for the wronged party to find out quickly - before their lives and finances become deeply intertwined. OP did the right thing.
This. YES, always, always out a cheater. Other than someone who is abusive, cheating is the worst thing someone could possibly do. The only reason others would be upset at you for outing someone is if they are a cheater or support cheaters.
French Speaker Story: OP had every right to tell her friend about what the French speaker said so that she can keep that toxic person away from their friend group, since she dislikes them so much.
Exactly! If someone started talking crap about my friend after they left the table to use the bathroom or something, I would definitely pull them aside and tell them what was going on.
@@lyndatuttle Yes. How often do we hear from abused wives who were told, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it! I love you, and I'll never hit you again. Just forgive me."
Actually not really (although I agree it should be something). He would have legally been the father of the child both genetically and on paper, his "brother" at best would have been the step father. Sadly the wedding would have been legal, her leaving after getting pregnant also legal, getting married under false pretences is entirely legal (with the exception of immigration fraud). Stupidest part here though, after discovering the fertility issues, they came up with this dumb ass plan instead of doing what basically everyone else would have done, approach Jake and ask him to be a sperm donor. I really doubt he would have said no.
If you're rude enough to talk bad about someone practically to their face, you don't get to declare what's rude and what isn't. And if you do it, anyway, everyone is free to ignore you.
Man, I'll never understand what kind of twisted family covers up cheating with a sibling's girlfriend think would accomplish? And call you the AH for being called out on their lies and deceit. Not to mention, they were gonna trick the guy into raising a kid that is not his and put him on child support for the next 18 years. Just disgusting. Anybody who says this is okay and tries to justify it are just as bad as the cheating partners. Op is is the hero in the first story. I hope the brother never takes to those disgusting traitors again. I just laughed at the second story, the entitlement of that man was hilarious. What Op did may have been considered an AH, but I'd say it was justified.
An affair is bad enough but trying to get pregnant by her fiancee so she can then leave him for his brother and raise the kid as theirs?? Sick and twisted doesn't even begin to describe these people and the family, weirdos. Depending where u live if the plan had worked as the biological father he has rights. OP not TA good on u . How would the sister feel if some guy did that to her or the other brother (cheater) how would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot??
They didn’t want to give him a chance to say no. And I agree with the above commenter, they probably wanted to lock him into paying child support for a child they wouldn’t even let him see.
The bus story reminded me of the time I was riding home from work after a night shift in the ER, just after seven AM so the bus was crowded with people headed for work, and a jerk in a bad suit refused to move his briefcase so I could sit in the only available spot. Yes, I sat on his briefcase. When he loudly complained I even more loudly told him that after a double shift spent patching up drunks and the people they ran into I had lost my tolerance for selfish fools. My feet hurt, I told him, and unless he wanted me to defecate on his briefcase he had better move it. God bless them, the other riders applauded! Trust me, OP, you were in the right and everybody but your husband agrees. I hope he has enough good points to excuse his miserable judgement.
The bus story reminds me of a similar incident I experienced. I was about 7 months pregnant and was riding public transportation to work. I was sitting next to disabled sitting and all seats were full but the transportation was not packed. A woman with a cast on her hand gets on and comes straight to me, and asks me for my seat. I tell her “No”. She asks me why and while I could have just repeated my answer and ended the conversation I politely explained that I was not willing to stand while I’m pregnant and given the fact I’m short, I can barely reach the holding rails above. She said to me “well my hand is broken so I need the seat more than you”. At that point she was irritating me so I said to her “unless you plan on standing on your hands the entire ride, you can ask someone else for their seat or use your healthy hand to hold onto the rails. I’m not moving so don’t ask me again”. She stomped off and took a seat in the back.
OMG when you said bus story i thought you meant story 1 cause of the love triangle i thought you meant "train" instead of bus meaning the second story lol i need to get my head out of the gutter
Whenever I go to Target with my mother I always hear other people’s conversations either it’s on FaceTime or speaker phone conversation it’s really annoying
With the technology available you have to assume that someone could be “recording” the conversation either intentionally or accidentally videotaping. People post things your conversation could be posted. And it will come back to bite you in the butt
Story 1: imagine going through the effort of wooing, marrying, and divorcing his brother when you could just.... ask...? Like it's not unheard of to ask a brother to donate.
Story 2: NTA i can undestand not wanting to give someone the seat you are sitting in but not wanting to remove his hand from a seat to give it to a pregnant woman? Wtf dude?
@@MrHelicx Did it occur to you that it might be different in other areas? Last year I went to Disney World, and there were NO social distance rules on the bus. You were supposed to wear a mask, but that's it. Some buses in some areas require you to pay extra to socially distance.
Second story: As someone whose only real mode of transportation is the bus, I am appalled at this. General bus policy tends to demand that since you paid for one person, you're entitled to one seat. Unless you paid an additional fare for your hand, fragging move it!! Huge NTA!
Honestly even if he paid for a second seat, IT'S A HAND. That means it should be easier and more hygienic to rest it on his own damn lap. Especially when you consider how many people use bus seats. And by the way, you're STILL expected to give up a seat to people who need it more on a public bus despite having paid. So if two pregnant women get on, you're still likely to lose both paid seats (especially if you're taking up one with your hand). About the only way you wouldn't is if you are drastically overweight, fill both seats with your bulk, and the act of getting up is clearly a chore, to the point where the pregnant women feel they'd be inconveniencing you. Which does not happen often, I can tell you.
Well how dare a man feel uncomfortable in public. Woman are supposed to endure feeling uncomfortable but how dare a man feel that way. That’s a Him problem
It’s REALLY startling that so many of OP’s family members think cheating on and taking OP’s brothers son away from him is no big deal…cause by being mad at OP that’s basically what they’re saying NTA OP but wow your family is…something
1:50 - The only ones against Op are: the 2 involved in the affair, the one covering for them, and the dad of 2 of them. Op said that "most people agree" with what they did.
“Apologize” without apologizing, “We apologize that you are upset that May proved herself a hero by remaining calm & getting immediate help when my wife had an unexpected never seen before fainting spell.”
Agreed pregnant or not the guy has no right to use the seat for his hand. He was a total AH . If I saw that I would've asked the guy if he was freakin serious??
Last story- I think that the bio dad only came back into his daughter's life because of the fianceé. He had to justify why he pays support and didn't want to appear to be a deadbeat to his lady friend. He probably started getting on parenting blogs to impress her and came up with this apologizing ideology. I don't believe that he is being genuine but it is possible that he will eventually truly care for his daughter.
My gut feeling is that it's worse than that. The fact he's trying to get OP to apologize in a VERY specific, yet nefarious sounding way "Apologize for your wife's actions that traumatized my child!" followed up by an OP contritely "apologizing for his wife's actions" will look VERY bad at a custody hearing. "You honor! He and his wife were foul around my daughter and traumatized here! Here is written proof - the written apology where he explicitly says he's sorry for his wife's actions and traumatizing my daughter! Yet my irresponsible ex is still allowing these deviants around my kid!!!" will be a very convincing argument. And no, at that point, OP can't say "My wife just fainted, I was apologizing for that", because the judge would ask the same thing we and OP asked; "WTF would you need to apologize for fainting?" and claim the fact OP *did* apologize and *admit* her actions traumatized May would be used as an admission of guilt. I'm not sure if the deadbeat is doing it to get out of child support, to try to get child support from Kate (I don't know if she makes more money than him), but my money is on The fiancé can't have kids, but wants kids, and Deadbeat realized "Hey! I have a kid I put in storage a few years back! I'll just go ahead and grab that off the shelf and give it to my fiancé!". The thing is, since the deadbeat has been out of the child's life for at least 4 years. If he just went and asked for custody with things as they are now, he would be laughed out of court. But if he had (albeit, manufactured) "proof" that his daughter was around negligent people and that her irresponsible mother allows it, then that would help him significantly. Either way, Kate needs to start setting boundaries and stop being a peacekeeper. It won't win her any awards when her placating the ex leads to her losing her daughter.
@@Original_Tenshi_Chan Ding ding ding! Thank you for saying this, I felt like I was going crazy when no one brought this up. Like, it's so obviously not about the kid's "trauma." I'll bet part of the reason he hates OP and OP's wife and kid, is that they're providing support to the single mom. It would be so much easier to groom the mother and kid to the point of hopeless surrender without a support network to call out his crazy. Plus the daughter having an independent friendship makes it so much harder to restore her to factory settings for the fiance once they take custody.
last story: I wish more ex-wives knew they have rights in that situation and it is way better to draw those boundaries early than wait until he crosses a major line
Story 1: Normally, I'd say mind your own business, but the groom needs to know exactly what he's getting himself into. This is big enough to stop the wedding, and no one can make that decision but the people saying 'I do' or in this case, 'I don't.'
I will never understand why people justify others hiding cheating from their loved ones. I hope Jake goes no contact with his siblings and takes OP out for an expensive dinner.
Mrs Preggers I’m proud of you! That guy was a total douche nozzle. You did the right thing….except MAYYYBE you should’ve called him out. And check your husbands priorities.
Don't ever apologize for having a medical emergency, that's internalized abuse and you do not need an excuse especially in the case of the last story, I'd definitely show them the replies to your post
1st story: OP should annouce to the family that he also slept with April 😂 or let April know that in two years it will be OP turn lol since she likes to do it with the brothers lol
That story with the lady on the bus. F that guy seriously. Taking two seats on crowded public transport is a dick move. Your hands, feet and other object do not get a second seat. Hubby is doubly wrong but I have a feeling that anything OP does is wrong in his eyes.
The French one: NTA. This haponed to me. I can’t speak French but I can understand it just fine. Some collage kids came in my cafe and where talking. I. Wasn’t paying attention to anything they were saying, I was giving them coffee and they switch from English to French. The girl said “ she looks just like our house maid. “ The guy said “ I didn’t know his black people had blonde hair “ I froze a bit and one of them said parlez-vous ( do you speak French) so I said “ no I don’t speak fench” and walked away. They pay for their coffee and left Edit. I live in the south ( Like Atlanta) so it’s not common to learn French. My father can speak it perfectly fine I’m just not really comfortable in my pronunciation so I very barely speak it. So when the guy asked me if I could speak French he asked the question in French and he was laughing thinking I could not understand it. That’s why I answer back in perfect English then it dawned on them that I understood French that’s why they left so fast
People should just assume everyone knows the language you are speaking . Perfect example - I no longer live in Atlanta, but i did at one point. And for those people who have lived or currently live in Atlanta i previously lived near Buford Highway, (where every language but English is spoken) - the amount of Spanish that i picked up was quite amazing.
Story with the pregnant OP: GIRLLLLLLLLL… you handled that way better than I would’ve when I was pregnant. Forget sitting on his hand I would’ve just punched him and then made a fool out of him by telling him and all the other people around that that’s what happens when you aren’t raised right LMAO
For the OP who understands French, I have the same problem again, and again, and again!! I am an African American who just happens to be multilingual. I speak mostly fluent Spanish, but, since I learned it in a total emergence program, I have difficulty understanding speakers who aren't grammatically correct mostly. Anyway, I was hired into a school district with predominantly Spanish speakers. But, I totally refuse to conduct formal meetings with parents without an interpreter because I can't switch languages easily, and I think it's legal jeopardy to do so. But, I let everyone know that I am able to speak and understand. Well, I was in a meeting with a vice principal that I had just met and, I did lett her and the principal know that I was Spanish speaking, but, during the meeting that the Vice principal insisted on being the interpreter, she was having difficulty explaining the therapy principles and language skills and asked me to explain them, but continued to have difficulty. So, she finally said, in Spanish, to the parent that she didn't understand what I was talking about and she doubted that I understood it as well. I immediately turned to her and said, "You do know that I understand everything you say, don't you?" She looked at me in surprise, but didn't stop the rude comments. Of course I reported her to district administration and filed a grievance against her. But, my point is, it's never your responsibility to report the languages you understand to speakers in social situations. I do so in work situations as a courtesy because I wasn't hire for the skill. Anyone who expects this is a, for want of a better word, fool. It's not up to you to apologize for her stupid assumption, but you can express your sympathy for her stupid behavior. Legally, when you speak in a public setting, there's no expectation of privacy, so you understanding and relating what she said is your business and your right. So, tell her that her apology for her very rude and antisocial behavior is not necessary and, considering her behavior to date, may be beyond her capabilities and possibly her understanding.
@@andreabartels3176 Most people in the United States can barely speak English, lol. So, it's little wonder that most people I deal with don't expect me to be versed enough in other languages to understand what they say. I am also fluent in sign language, so that gets me a few stunned stares as well, so, I just don't mention any of it to people unless I have to. It's safest to fly under the radar!
To the person who's saying everyone's the idiot for turning in the person talking Trash right in front of their friends by using a different language. No anyone who is willing to bad mouth somebody right to their face but do it in a different language needs to be ratted out. 2nd as someone who works in the operating room every single surgery that they put you under 4 has a percentage chance of killing you. It is entirely reasonable to ask to see your children 1st and to say that the infection wasn't expected is like saying no one expects to get in a car accent while they're driving. You don't expect to but it's always a possibility so you plan ahead
My dad died after surgery in recovery. He never woke up from the surgery. You never know what may happen and telling a loved one how you feel or just seeing them before a surgery might be your only chance. In my case there was no love there but the point is do not withhold the children from seeing a loved one prior to having surgery.
It was OPs sister's engagement party, not a random day in the park. She has no one leave the kids with? And who knows the kids won't have fun, from the ages there might well be more than a few others there.
Op didn't withhold access to the kids, but he dropped it on them the day before when op already promised they would be there for her sister and the kids aunt.
He would have known ahead of time when his surgery was, so he could have had made arrangements a week or two in advance instead of waiting until a couple days before. Unless he just found out about it, then he's the AH and OP is NTA.
All of these are correct, that is why I didn't call anyone the AH. I primarily was talking more in general and the importance of seeing someone before surgery.
Last story I think I know what's going on here May's father pretty much sees another man being a father figure to his daughter and he can't handle it. Even though I get the feeling that the only reason why Ross and his fiance are back in May and Kate's life is because he finally found the woman to call his own and he wants to be Daddy of the Year again. Meaning play happy family with the chick he wants to be with and he has to bring his child from his past in that for him to have him. And now that he's in May's life he wants to cut off anybody that has been a major influence in her life. Kate pretty much is understanding and knows that you don't have to apologize for it but she also knows that this guy pretty much is either going to make her life even harder or he's going to basically do something to where she could potentially lose Kate. You're not in the wrong here but this guy is never going to stop making problems for you and I think it may be time for you and your wife to have a serious conversation with Kate because this is going from overprotective and over cautious to controlling and psychotic to say the least
1st story: NTA. wtf??? The fact that half of his family felt it was okay for April to deceive the groom/the brother is just wrong! And Joey for hating OP because he's an affair baby and yet he's going behind another person's back to sleep with their bride is a hypocrite. OP is a good sibling. Wedding should be cancel.
Story with Surgery: He knows the surgery Day beforhand and ask Last Minute? I know this sounds crazy for a few people, but He could ask when He knows the surgery Day and negotiate with his exwhive. Last Minute (the Day before) is never a good idea.
This was my comment I made on this video..and was looking for another...did he not know about the surgery until the day he called? If that was the first day he knew...then yes..the OP should have thought more..But the ex also should have compromised.. because it was last minute. BUT if he knew ahead of time...and only asked last min to put OP in a bad spot. Then OP is not the asshole
Especially at work, never *ever* admit to knowing another language, unless you want to get roped into being The Company Translator. Email went out, "Anyone speak [language]?". A cow-orker fessed up, was "asked" to do some translation work for a new client that only spoke [language]. Things got verrrrry busy with the new client, and he was still expected to translate, often the better part of a day, 2-3 times per week, while *STILL* being expected to keep up on all his own work. He got all stressed out trying to do both until he snapped and said nuh-uh, if he'll be translating, then that'll come out of his other work's budget, not his personal time by staying late. Advice? Avoid the drama in the first place, and stay nominally monolingual.
Story 1, I can see where Joey gets his view on cheating from if OP is the affair baby. Cause it sounds like Jake and OP are the only decent people in this family.
Regarding OP’s ex that had a surgery scheduled for the day of OP’s sister’s engagement party…anybody else thinking that the ex should have given more than 24hrs notice of wanting to see his kids just in case there was a schedule conflict? I mean would he still have been demanding OP to bring the kids if they were out of state or if the wedding was the day of the surgery? The next 24hrs was the best time for the ex’s schedule to see the kids but not necessarily the best time for OP’s (and the kids’) schedule…so I’m assuming that he had more advanced notice of needing the surgery but he only told OP at the last minute… he should have told her about needing the surgery and wanting to see the kids right before the surgery as soon as he actually learned that he’d need the surgery and also when the surgery was looking to be scheduled (since it didn’t seem to be an emergency surgery situation)…that way OP would have more time/ability to rearrange her schedule or to try to negotiate a better time for the ex to see the kids prior to the surgery…since the ex only seemed to care about the best time in HIS schedule to try to see the kids he basically screwed around and found out, imo…
His surgery was scheduled for the day after the engagement party. He could have called and asked to see the kids the second he found out when the surgery was (you can get surgery done same day they tell you you need it and it not be an emergency) and he did ask 24 hours in advance (he asked the day before he wanted them). An 8 y/o and a 6 y/o don't need to be at an engagement party where most adults will be getting drunk and partying. If their father had died during surgery the kids would never forgive her. Heck, he can still die from the infection (one of the largest cause of deaths in hospitals is infections).
I agree. He should have been more prepared and asked for his kids sooner. You cannot expect people to drop everything at the last minute, especially when you have shown little regard for their time
@Random Platypus with Internet how is your back after that reach? No, it's about respect for other people's time. It's respect. If the surgery was out the blue than fair enough. It wasn't. They had prior commitments. The dad should have been better organised. And I don't moan about the good ones as I have had one for over a decade. If it had been him, he would have arranged to see his kids because he is an adult who is capable of managing his time.
The father pretty much asked last minute. Also the engagement party is also like a mini family reunion and there were probably lots of family pictures taken which is probably why sister wanted the kids there. Either way, OP and kids already had plans. I usually don't think of all the pros and cons when asked last minute to change my plans. It's usually just a No, not gonna happen. So easy to think of all the reasons why after the fact, that she should have let Mil come pick them up but was that an option at the time of his Call?
I was looking for another sensible person about this. Almost all surgeries you know several days in advance they will happen. I don't fault him wanting to see his kids before a surgery, but I do fault him for springing it last minute. It almost feels like he knew this was another way to stick it to the ex. And in the off chance it was an emergency surgery, why did he a) have time to make the call b) not ask for them to come now
Newsflash lots of schools teach foreign languages. So people may know them without coming from a specific country. The girl had bad manners and deserved calling out!
Why DIDN'T they ask Jake to do a donation to a sperm bank; then do a transfer to still HAVE A BIOLOGICAL sibling. Most sperm banks WILLDO THIS at a small fee.
OP2: No idea where this was but every bit of public transit I've ever been on has signs instructing you to give up your seat to the pregnant and elderly. Good for you.
Good afternoon XOS. Thanks for the stories. Have a great day. The only reason father showed back up is because he wants to impress his fiancee. Can't let her know he's a deadbeat
I had a neighbors kid find me on the floor passed out. ( they had the key to my place) He ran to his mom and the next door neighbor to get me help. We never figured out how long I was out before he found me. He was the same age as the little girl. When I came home from the hospital, he was more worried about me than his parents were about me or my husband apologizing for the situation. Of course I did. But we talked to him about it and commended him on doing the right thing.
Disgusting of a first story... but beyond ironic that the terrible guy treats someone badly for being an affair child while not minding to create one of his own. At least the terrible father is consistent by not minding the creation of another affair child at all.
The surgery story. How would the reactions be if the OP was the father who divorced his partner due to chronic illness, and wouldn't let her kids before the surgery because he had a party to go too.... I'm guessing that some people's reactions may be slightly different. 🤔
The last story. You should apologize when the kids aren't around, and here it is: "I'm sorry that you missed out on your daughter's life. She was raised wonderfully by her mom as was demonstrated by her actions when my wife fainted. Now how long are you going to be in May's life this time? I just want to be prepared for the day May asks US, where's my dad. Also have you apologized to May for NOT giving a crap about her until now? Is May just your 'practice' child until you get a new one?" Also warn GF that he just might leave her and her kids too someday.
Story 4: NTA - No, just NO! Projecting much, Daddy dearest? Neither you nor your wife did anything wrong, and May is not traumatized by seeing someone on the floor or by entering a hospital. His anxieties be damned, because what it is, is GUILT, and that is a him problem.
Interesting how a man that did nothing for his child their whole life all of a sudden feels he had the right to dictate to the ppl that have always been there for said child. He is around more because he wants to pay less in support or show off for the fiancé.
Story 4 : He could have seen his children 2 days before the surgery instead of the day before. Then plans wouldn't have to be changed. There was room for compromise that didn't disrupt life..
Last story-did I read right that the formerly absent father is not only demanding an apology for the terrible mistake of fainting, AND that his fiancé had the unmitigated gall to start texting OP as well?
Story 1: What a hateful, horrible family. The sister KNEW the bride-to-be and the half-brother were deep in a relationship, that the bride's plan was to get knocked up by the groom and THEN leave him for the half-brother? And it got as far as the rehearsal dinner?! WTAF?!
story 2: ladies never be ashamed by men being uncomfortable with your presence. sit on the man's hand. sit on his lap. obviously this man's mother never taught them that you stop acting like a child when you're, you know, not a child anymore.
Story 1: I'm wondering how the cheating couple expected parenting to go. What did they think the bio-father would do about the child? Story 2: The guy holding the seat was acting inappropriately for even trying to hold a seat on public transportation regardless of if the person asking was pregnant. Story 3: Having a conversation in public is open for others to hear it regardless of what language it's in. If you want privacy, then you step away.
1. Story: NTA wait wait wait, OP is hated because he is an affair baby but now OP gets hated for outing people wanting to create an affair baby? what the actual fuck is wrong with that family 2. Story: NTA it being appropriate or not isn't important here, it was deserved I understand taking two seats if you have a lot of luggage, but to not have someone else sit next to you? there are better ways for that
@@bradyligtenberg7460 It doesn't matter why he waited the guy could've died ffs, he's in the hospital chronically ill who knows what drugs he may be on,perhaps he wasn't thinking straight.
@@arleneclark6369 it does matter. It means the kids were the bottom of his priority list. He could have had a lot more time with them if he know the date. I feel like if you want to see the kids you would have scheduled to see them more often before rather than popping up 2 days before surgery asking to see them. Instead he trying to power play his ex, and using his illness to do it.
As I said maybe if he was on meds he was a little confused sometimes one day rolls into another. Most people I know have forgotten what day it is several times. Either way I still believe the kids should've seen the dad or ask them . Sounds more like she pulled the power play.
First story would be hilarious if she did get pregnant and the bio dad got full custody. Also, I'd be sitting on hands all day and sneeze. I've had 2 kids so I might pee a little...
Last story - Biggest reason to not apologize to Ross is that it will embolden him by acknowledging his demands as valid. He'll start making more demands with more intrusive requirements. I'd turn it around on him and point out "You're the only one upset about this and that's your problem, not anyone else's. Get over yourself and grow up kiddo."
how does expressing discomfort over a person's behavior equal to tattling? I don't recall OP expressing the tone used by the friend's friend, but the friend said it wasn't the first time said friend had said nasty things.
4th story/hospital - So, it's the MIL that stirs drama? Any time you go in for any surgery, they tell you complications can occur. Keeping her kids from seeing their dad is just a sick power play.
Story 2: I would’ve embarrassed the shit out of that guy, much worse than sitting on it. Hell, I would’ve puked on him if I could’ve and blamed it on being sick from standing. Husband is also TA for thinking keeping your HAND on a seat is appropriate even on a regular day.
Bus story: at the risk of sounding like an AH myself, here’s what I normally do on the train. Just sit down on their hand or bag or whatever is on the seat. I pretend I didn’t see it and just sit on it. Etiquette is that seats are for sitting on, not for your hand or handbag. Most people quickly pull away their stuff before my butt lands. If I do end up sitting on a hand I just reply “sorry mate didn’t see your hand there”. No one has ever complained that I sat on their stuff or told me to get off. A dirty look is the worst I have ever got.
OP is a product of an affair and they don’t really care for you, but the sister has no issue letting the one brother get duped by the fiancé sleeping with the other brother? Like how messed up is this family 2nd story: man took up a whole seat for his hand? Nope I’d make him uncomfortable too bc that is completely terrible to take up a seat for the only person in your life that will love him. Husband is only fighting with him because he’s a man and how dare you ever make a man feel uncomfortable. But it’s OK for men to make women feel uncomfortable all the time. Let him feel uncomfortable and feel embarrassed. That’s a him problem not a you problem
With the last story… pretty sure the dead beat wants to be more active in his daughter's life because of the fiance not because he's actually a decent human being..he'll fall off the planet again.
As someone who grew up in a divorced household I think that mother and the surgery story has 2 people in the wrong, the OP and the mother in law. Mother in law sounds like a huge pain. But father wanting to see children before surgery is normal. Surgery can be scary, i honestly was super scared when I had my surgery. I have friends who lost relatives because of a complication during a surgery. I can also 95% guarantee that no kids wants to go to mothers friends engagement party, those things used to bore me to death when I was a kid.
Op1 sounds like your relatives are people to avoid. Good on you op for calling their crap out. Op2 some people are scum good on you op ignore these tool men
Hm. I would have to ask one question before I voted on the surgery story: How long did the father know about the surgery? If it's an emergency surgery (i.e. less than 48 hours warning), then OP is 100% the ahole. Surgery is never completely risk free. If the father knew of the surgery for at least a few days, OP isn't the ahole. Provided he knew about it for at least three days before, he could have messaged and said, "I have surgery on "x" day, I'd like to see the kids at some point before that". I dunno. I just feel like it could easily go either way.
I was wondering the same thing. If it was an emergency surgery Op is the AH no question about it. If he knew about it for a few weeks Op isn't the AH he had time to see them way before. People over look that she would have to take the kids to see him. He could have known about the party and pick that day to make Op bring the kids missing her sister's party or talk her into letting his mother do it. Sadly there are people like that. It could be either way without knowing how long he knew about the surgery can't say one way or the other.
This! Most times u get at least week notice unless it emergency which then it be same day or as soon as they can slot u in. And honestly if that the case I don’t think he be so wishy-woshy on the phone. It honestly sounds like he been sitting on it and been allocating days to people to come see him.
Same was wondering too. The ex mil said it got worse but that's any basic surgery it could get worse. And by the sound of it that mil is the type of witch to make it sound overblown than it is.
This is exactly what I was thinking. Unless it was emergency surgery, the dad would have known well ahead of time when the surgery was so they could have planned for the kids to see him beforehand and then still be able to go to the party. I almost wonder if he found out about the engagement party and then deliberately waited until the last minute to try and force OP to make them miss it.
Story 2: OP is NTA. The team member’s friend was extremely unprofessional and ungrateful. OP should have cut off the DMs by telling her that no apology is necessary because she’s not going to be invited to anymore events. Anyone in nearby tables could be able to understand the conversation and think poorly of OPs company and make a complaint
That first story, OP should search for the "If you could f**k off, over there, that'd be great" meme, and download it to their phone. Then, when certain family gives him crap, just send the meme and block the buttheads.
That engagement party mom one made my blood boil. People die from surgery on an ingrown toenail - an infection is possible, and if it's a more in depth surgery (where they remove the nail bed in the worst cases) it's always possible that you could die from the anesthesia. That man asked his wife, "I'm going into surgery, after tomorrow there's a high likelihood that I won't be able to see them for a few weeks. Can I see them?" And she thought an *engagement party* was more important than her children seeing their father potentially before he died. Not only that, but seeing them would have helped him medically (a sick man doesn't need the added stress of his controlling and entitled wife). She deprived her kids of their Dad for what? An engagement party where there probably aren't many kids? YTA
The woman made me sick to my stomach. If the dad had died, the kids would never get to see him again and it would have been her fault. For some reason it sounds to me that she divorced him because of this chronic illness. If she did that makes this a thousand times worse. She’s a monster.
@@cabooedens4164 Agreed even if he didn't get an infection the fact is he could've died during the surgery,your chronically ill husband wanting to see his kids trumps your sister every time. If it was her wedding day I still would've sent the kids to see their dad. The man could've died ffs
@@arleneclark6369 me personally I think the decision should have been left with the kids. They may not want to see their dad in hospital. They may not emotionally be able to handle it or want to handle it. And honestly at that age, before surgery is pretty traumatising from everyone else energy. Both could have compromised. She could have gone in the morning, he could have suggested another day or time. Whilst surgery is set, normally you get 2-3 weeks notice. And if it emergency it be the same day. He been sitting on this information for some time.
I think the father did this on purpose. Surgery are usually scheduled 2 to 3 weeks out or at least talked about a 2 to 3 weeks out unless emergency which is same day. He KNEW he ahd a Surgery and called demanding to see the kids the next day. ... the day of the Surgery. And then sicked his mother in law on his ex. It doesn't add up
Hope op ex gets out of hospital and takes op to court for full custody based on parental alienation. Op is definitely unhinged with pettiness. The mil is awesome for standinbupnfor her son.
Op who 'over heard a private conversation' should apologize to the women: 'I'm sorry you were raised with an american tourist sense of entitlement, and no common sense. Next time I'll be sure to loudly call you out immediatly in public so you and everyone else can know just how stuck up you are' My understanding, is many French nationals see American tourist as very rude and entitled. Most of the world see american tourists that way, but it's a bit more of an insult in france, than Poland. Source: my friends who moved there for their parents job, and had a tough start until they actually tried learning local language and customs. My parents job took us to Poland.
Story 1: NTA so Joey doesn't like you because you are an affair baby but he has no problem with sleeping with his brother's fiance and using his brother to have a baby? Wow just wow, he is just disgusting and so are April, Jess and everyone blaming OP because he is a hero.
Joey is a hypocrite
I don't see why any of this has to happen. Most men would be happy to help someone's get their girlfriend pregnant. LOL
@@MrBeevee5 Tell me you don't understand who was who, without telling me you don't understand who was who.
@@johnrussell5592 LOL
@@MrBeevee5 On what planet and in what universe do you think any man would be happy to have THAT happen?
Bus Story: Husband is an idiot and I wouldn’t have even bothered to ask if it was taken. I would have just sat down then told him to f@#$ off when he complained. Told him the seat was empty and that I could sit there if I wanted. OP was polite about the whole matter. Good for OP.
Murmuring an "excuse me" and you were sitting down is enough.
Flip yeah she did good. What idiot needs an extra seat for his hand?
I would have just shrugged my shoulders at anyone staring at me and act as if nothing had happened. What an ignorant pig - either move the hand or I sit on it.
@@Tijggie82 Lol, I kind of wish OP went with something similar to what the first commenter said; "look sir, I understand you want to sit next to your wife, but I assure you, Mrs. Right Hand will be just as comfortable on your lap as she is on my seat" in a cloyingly sweet voice.
You wouldn’t have. Don’t act tough.
First story: Always out the cheaters. This whole thing is worthy of a Jerry Springer show. It is better for the wronged party to find out quickly - before their lives and finances become deeply intertwined. OP did the right thing.
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
This. YES, always, always out a cheater. Other than someone who is abusive, cheating is the worst thing someone could possibly do.
The only reason others would be upset at you for outing someone is if they are a cheater or support cheaters.
French Speaker Story: OP had every right to tell her friend about what the French speaker said so that she can keep that toxic person away from their friend group, since she dislikes them so much.
Exactly! If someone started talking crap about my friend after they left the table to use the bathroom or something, I would definitely pull them aside and tell them what was going on.
Yep. The ESH comment was probably from someone exactly like the French speaker.
@@jeannemclaughlin7978 I was thinking that, if not from the speaker herself.
@@lyndatuttle Yes. How often do we hear from abused wives who were told, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it! I love you, and I'll never hit you again. Just forgive me."
If you don't want something repeated, then don't say it.
story 1; THAT IS Paternity Fraud. Jake can sue the crap out of the lot of them! Tell Jake and go to a lawyer.
Actually not really (although I agree it should be something). He would have legally been the father of the child both genetically and on paper, his "brother" at best would have been the step father.
Sadly the wedding would have been legal, her leaving after getting pregnant also legal, getting married under false pretences is entirely legal (with the exception of immigration fraud).
Stupidest part here though, after discovering the fertility issues, they came up with this dumb ass plan instead of doing what basically everyone else would have done, approach Jake and ask him to be a sperm donor. I really doubt he would have said no.
Why didn't they ask for some of his stuff to have a kid.
Paternity fraud is very legal, and rewards the mom every time
If you're rude enough to talk bad about someone practically to their face, you don't get to declare what's rude and what isn't. And if you do it, anyway, everyone is free to ignore you.
Man, I'll never understand what kind of twisted family covers up cheating with a sibling's girlfriend think would accomplish? And call you the AH for being called out on their lies and deceit. Not to mention, they were gonna trick the guy into raising a kid that is not his and put him on child support for the next 18 years. Just disgusting. Anybody who says this is okay and tries to justify it are just as bad as the cheating partners. Op is is the hero in the first story. I hope the brother never takes to those disgusting traitors again.
I just laughed at the second story, the entitlement of that man was hilarious. What Op did may have been considered an AH, but I'd say it was justified.
April probably wanted Joey to pay child support too
An affair is bad enough but trying to get pregnant by her fiancee so she can then leave him for his brother and raise the kid as theirs?? Sick and twisted doesn't even begin to describe these people and the family, weirdos. Depending where u live if the plan had worked as the biological father he has rights. OP not TA good on u . How would the sister feel if some guy did that to her or the other brother (cheater) how would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot??
If they were decent people, they would have just asked the fiance to be a donor rather than have him live a lie. Seriously messed up.
They didn’t want to give him a chance to say no. And I agree with the above commenter, they probably wanted to lock him into paying child support for a child they wouldn’t even let him see.
The bus story reminded me of the time I was riding home from work after a night shift in the ER, just after seven AM so the bus was crowded with people headed for work, and a jerk in a bad suit refused to move his briefcase so I could sit in the only available spot. Yes, I sat on his briefcase.
When he loudly complained I even more loudly told him that after a double shift spent patching up drunks and the people they ran into I had lost my tolerance for selfish fools. My feet hurt, I told him, and unless he wanted me to defecate on his briefcase he had better move it. God bless them, the other riders applauded!
Trust me, OP, you were in the right and everybody but your husband agrees. I hope he has enough good points to excuse his miserable judgement.
The bus story reminds me of a similar incident I experienced. I was about 7 months pregnant and was riding public transportation to work. I was sitting next to disabled sitting and all seats were full but the transportation was not packed. A woman with a cast on her hand gets on and comes straight to me, and asks me for my seat. I tell her “No”. She asks me why and while I could have just repeated my answer and ended the conversation I politely explained that I was not willing to stand while I’m pregnant and given the fact I’m short, I can barely reach the holding rails above. She said to me “well my hand is broken so I need the seat more than you”. At that point she was irritating me so I said to her “unless you plan on standing on your hands the entire ride, you can ask someone else for their seat or use your healthy hand to hold onto the rails. I’m not moving so don’t ask me again”. She stomped off and took a seat in the back.
I mean yes that lady was technically disabled even though it's temporary but it's not like her leg was the broken limb
Good for you standing your ground! 👏
Some people deserve a metaphorical 2x4 to the head. The man with his hand is one of them. Instead he got a pregnant woman's but to the hand. LOL
Bummer. I'm sure watching her stand on her hands would have been quite the show.
OMG when you said bus story i thought you meant story 1 cause of the love triangle
i thought you meant "train" instead of bus meaning the second story lol i need to get my
head out of the gutter
As a bilingual person, I know better than to have petty or private conversations in public. It's so trashy.
Unless you're speaking Nahuatl in Cambodia or something, never assume nobody can understand you! It's so ridiculous.
Whenever I go to Target with my mother I always hear other people’s conversations either it’s on FaceTime or speaker phone conversation it’s really annoying
With the technology available you have to assume that someone could be “recording” the conversation either intentionally or accidentally videotaping. People post things your conversation could be posted. And it will come back to bite you in the butt
Story 1: imagine going through the effort of wooing, marrying, and divorcing his brother when you could just.... ask...? Like it's not unheard of to ask a brother to donate.
Story 2: NTA i can undestand not wanting to give someone the seat you are sitting in but not wanting to remove his hand from a seat to give it to a pregnant woman? Wtf dude?
Public transport is still social distancing so it one per row that y every1 think she the idiot. I bet she know too that y started the way she started
@@MrHelicx not really, buses are still packed
@@MrHelicx Also pretty obvious that's not the case especially since all other seats were taken
@@shipitdontsinkit8346 no it was not u on the bus
@@MrHelicx Did it occur to you that it might be different in other areas? Last year I went to Disney World, and there were NO social distance rules on the bus. You were supposed to wear a mask, but that's it. Some buses in some areas require you to pay extra to socially distance.
His only lover… Ms Hand 😂😂😂
Second story: As someone whose only real mode of transportation is the bus, I am appalled at this. General bus policy tends to demand that since you paid for one person, you're entitled to one seat. Unless you paid an additional fare for your hand, fragging move it!! Huge NTA!
Exactly! I would've asked if the hand had a ticket then sat down 😂
Honestly even if he paid for a second seat, IT'S A HAND. That means it should be easier and more hygienic to rest it on his own damn lap. Especially when you consider how many people use bus seats.
And by the way, you're STILL expected to give up a seat to people who need it more on a public bus despite having paid. So if two pregnant women get on, you're still likely to lose both paid seats (especially if you're taking up one with your hand). About the only way you wouldn't is if you are drastically overweight, fill both seats with your bulk, and the act of getting up is clearly a chore, to the point where the pregnant women feel they'd be inconveniencing you. Which does not happen often, I can tell you.
Well how dare a man feel uncomfortable in public. Woman are supposed to endure feeling uncomfortable but how dare a man feel that way. That’s a Him problem
Now let's have a man sit on a woman's hand.
It’s REALLY startling that so many of OP’s family members think cheating on and taking OP’s brothers son away from him is no big deal…cause by being mad at OP that’s basically what they’re saying
NTA OP but wow your family is…something
Well, OP is an affair baby, so yeah.
1:50 - The only ones against Op are: the 2 involved in the affair, the one covering for them, and the dad of 2 of them. Op said that "most people agree" with what they did.
Story 1: NTA. Your other siblings betrayed your brother.
“Apologize” without apologizing,
“We apologize that you are upset that May proved herself a hero by remaining calm & getting immediate help when my wife had an unexpected never seen before fainting spell.”
Lol I'd have sat on the guy's hand too, pregnant or not. If he had moved his hand when asked, then OP wouldn't have sat on it
Agreed pregnant or not the guy has no right to use the seat for his hand. He was a total AH . If I saw that I would've asked the guy if he was freakin serious??
What kind of idiot think the seat is for his hand only?
I’m a dude I would have absolutely sat on his hand to
@@arleneclark6369 I would also have asked if he'd paid for the seat and asked to see his ticket
Last story- I think that the bio dad only came back into his daughter's life because of the fianceé. He had to justify why he pays support and didn't want to appear to be a deadbeat to his lady friend. He probably started getting on parenting blogs to impress her and came up with this apologizing ideology. I don't believe that he is being genuine but it is possible that he will eventually truly care for his daughter.
My gut feeling is that it's worse than that. The fact he's trying to get OP to apologize in a VERY specific, yet nefarious sounding way "Apologize for your wife's actions that traumatized my child!" followed up by an OP contritely "apologizing for his wife's actions" will look VERY bad at a custody hearing. "You honor! He and his wife were foul around my daughter and traumatized here! Here is written proof - the written apology where he explicitly says he's sorry for his wife's actions and traumatizing my daughter! Yet my irresponsible ex is still allowing these deviants around my kid!!!" will be a very convincing argument. And no, at that point, OP can't say "My wife just fainted, I was apologizing for that", because the judge would ask the same thing we and OP asked; "WTF would you need to apologize for fainting?" and claim the fact OP *did* apologize and *admit* her actions traumatized May would be used as an admission of guilt.
I'm not sure if the deadbeat is doing it to get out of child support, to try to get child support from Kate (I don't know if she makes more money than him), but my money is on The fiancé can't have kids, but wants kids, and Deadbeat realized "Hey! I have a kid I put in storage a few years back! I'll just go ahead and grab that off the shelf and give it to my fiancé!". The thing is, since the deadbeat has been out of the child's life for at least 4 years. If he just went and asked for custody with things as they are now, he would be laughed out of court. But if he had (albeit, manufactured) "proof" that his daughter was around negligent people and that her irresponsible mother allows it, then that would help him significantly.
Either way, Kate needs to start setting boundaries and stop being a peacekeeper. It won't win her any awards when her placating the ex leads to her losing her daughter.
@@Original_Tenshi_Chan Ding ding ding! Thank you for saying this, I felt like I was going crazy when no one brought this up. Like, it's so obviously not about the kid's "trauma." I'll bet part of the reason he hates OP and OP's wife and kid, is that they're providing support to the single mom. It would be so much easier to groom the mother and kid to the point of hopeless surrender without a support network to call out his crazy. Plus the daughter having an independent friendship makes it so much harder to restore her to factory settings for the fiance once they take custody.
last story: I wish more ex-wives knew they have rights in that situation and it is way better to draw those boundaries early than wait until he crosses a major line
Story 1: Normally, I'd say mind your own business, but the groom needs to know exactly what he's getting himself into. This is big enough to stop the wedding, and no one can make that decision but the people saying 'I do' or in this case, 'I don't.'
@@michaelplunkett8059So is the dude cheating.
I will never understand why people justify others hiding cheating from their loved ones. I hope Jake goes no contact with his siblings and takes OP out for an expensive dinner.
4:32 OP's _hubby_ goes nuts over this? I'd've just laughed my butt off and told OP good for her!
Mrs Preggers I’m proud of you! That guy was a total douche nozzle. You did the right thing….except MAYYYBE you should’ve called him out. And check your husbands priorities.
Don't ever apologize for having a medical emergency, that's internalized abuse and you do not need an excuse especially in the case of the last story, I'd definitely show them the replies to your post
1st story: OP should annouce to the family that he also slept with April 😂 or let April know that in two years it will be OP turn lol since she likes to do it with the brothers lol
Hhhccubb h
That story with the lady on the bus. F that guy seriously. Taking two seats on crowded public transport is a dick move. Your hands, feet and other object do not get a second seat. Hubby is doubly wrong but I have a feeling that anything OP does is wrong in his eyes.
OP needs to tell hubby if he wants to stay married, that he needs to readjust his attitude!
@@nancyomalley6286 💯
Impeccable timing - taking a work break to cuddle with my cat!
The French one: NTA. This haponed to me. I can’t speak French but I can understand it just fine. Some collage kids came in my cafe and where talking. I. Wasn’t paying attention to anything they were saying, I was giving them coffee and they switch from English to French. The girl said “ she looks just like our house maid. “ The guy said “ I didn’t know his black people had blonde hair “
I froze a bit and one of them said parlez-vous ( do you speak French) so I said “ no I don’t speak fench” and walked away. They pay for their coffee and left
Edit. I live in the south ( Like Atlanta) so it’s not common to learn French. My father can speak it perfectly fine I’m just not really comfortable in my pronunciation so I very barely speak it.
So when the guy asked me if I could speak French he asked the question in French and he was laughing thinking I could not understand it. That’s why I answer back in perfect English then it dawned on them that I understood French that’s why they left so fast
You should have said no I don't speak French but I understand it perfectly.
You should have said, "no, I don't speak French. You know, you look just like the janitor who works here after hours".
YOOOOOOOOO CTFU. LOLOLOLOLOLO That probably went right over their heads!!!! Rotfl ctfu that was perfection
@@arleneclark6369 oh they understood that I knew what they said because I answered back in English. Because he asked the question in French
People should just assume everyone knows the language you are speaking . Perfect example - I no longer live in Atlanta, but i did at one point. And for those people who have lived or currently live in Atlanta i previously lived near Buford Highway, (where every language but English is spoken) - the amount of Spanish that i picked up was quite amazing.
Story with the pregnant OP: GIRLLLLLLLLL… you handled that way better than I would’ve when I was pregnant. Forget sitting on his hand I would’ve just punched him and then made a fool out of him by telling him and all the other people around that that’s what happens when you aren’t raised right LMAO
Ah, yes. Assault and battery, the best thing to do while pregnant and in a highly-public place with many witnesses.
You can't have been raised right if you think violence is the answer
For the OP who understands French, I have the same problem again, and again, and again!! I am an African American who just happens to be multilingual. I speak mostly fluent Spanish, but, since I learned it in a total emergence program, I have difficulty understanding speakers who aren't grammatically correct mostly. Anyway, I was hired into a school district with predominantly Spanish speakers. But, I totally refuse to conduct formal meetings with parents without an interpreter because I can't switch languages easily, and I think it's legal jeopardy to do so. But, I let everyone know that I am able to speak and understand. Well, I was in a meeting with a vice principal that I had just met and, I did lett her and the principal know that I was Spanish speaking, but, during the meeting that the Vice principal insisted on being the interpreter, she was having difficulty explaining the therapy principles and language skills and asked me to explain them, but continued to have difficulty. So, she finally said, in Spanish, to the parent that she didn't understand what I was talking about and she doubted that I understood it as well. I immediately turned to her and said, "You do know that I understand everything you say, don't you?" She looked at me in surprise, but didn't stop the rude comments. Of course I reported her to district administration and filed a grievance against her. But, my point is, it's never your responsibility to report the languages you understand to speakers in social situations. I do so in work situations as a courtesy because I wasn't hire for the skill. Anyone who expects this is a, for want of a better word, fool. It's not up to you to apologize for her stupid assumption, but you can express your sympathy for her stupid behavior. Legally, when you speak in a public setting, there's no expectation of privacy, so you understanding and relating what she said is your business and your right. So, tell her that her apology for her very rude and antisocial behavior is not necessary and, considering her behavior to date, may be beyond her capabilities and possibly her understanding.
It is pretty normal for people from Switzerland to speak two or three of their native languages.
Bravo! Well put.
@@andreabartels3176 Most people in the United States can barely speak English, lol. So, it's little wonder that most people I deal with don't expect me to be versed enough in other languages to understand what they say. I am also fluent in sign language, so that gets me a few stunned stares as well, so, I just don't mention any of it to people unless I have to. It's safest to fly under the radar!
To the person who's saying everyone's the idiot for turning in the person talking Trash right in front of their friends by using a different language. No anyone who is willing to bad mouth somebody right to their face but do it in a different language needs to be ratted out.
2nd as someone who works in the operating room every single surgery that they put you under 4 has a percentage chance of killing you. It is entirely reasonable to ask to see your children 1st and to say that the infection wasn't expected is like saying no one expects to get in a car accent while they're driving. You don't expect to but it's always a possibility so you plan ahead
I know you tried to type "accident" but now I'm trying to figure out what determines a car's accent.
@@deathsecretary2055 definitely the horn xD
@@deathsecretary2055 Next you'll probably say you can't tell if it's a boy car or a girl car. 🤣😂🤣😂
@@gaywerewolf1294 Is it by country of manufacture or where it's mostly driven? Would a BMW in Yorkshire have a German or Yorkshire accent?
@@MargaritaOnTheRox Who am I to tell you your car's business?
THE UGLY LAUGH I DID AT THE PART WHERE ROSS WANTED OP AND HIS WIFE TO GIVE HIM AN APOLOGY.
First story: if you can’t take the punishment then don’t do the crime.
😂😂😂😂😂As a mum I love the way you sat on his hand. Your husband should have been on your side I'd say something to him
My dad died after surgery in recovery. He never woke up from the surgery. You never know what may happen and telling a loved one how you feel or just seeing them before a surgery might be your only chance.
In my case there was no love there but the point is do not withhold the children from seeing a loved one prior to having surgery.
It was OPs sister's engagement party, not a random day in the park. She has no one leave the kids with? And who knows the kids won't have fun, from the ages there might well be more than a few others there.
Op didn't withhold access to the kids, but he dropped it on them the day before when op already promised they would be there for her sister and the kids aunt.
He would have known ahead of time when his surgery was, so he could have had made arrangements a week or two in advance instead of waiting until a couple days before. Unless he just found out about it, then he's the AH and OP is NTA.
All of these are correct, that is why I didn't call anyone the AH. I primarily was talking more in general and the importance of seeing someone before surgery.
Last story I think I know what's going on here May's father pretty much sees another man being a father figure to his daughter and he can't handle it. Even though I get the feeling that the only reason why Ross and his fiance are back in May and Kate's life is because he finally found the woman to call his own and he wants to be Daddy of the Year again. Meaning play happy family with the chick he wants to be with and he has to bring his child from his past in that for him to have him. And now that he's in May's life he wants to cut off anybody that has been a major influence in her life. Kate pretty much is understanding and knows that you don't have to apologize for it but she also knows that this guy pretty much is either going to make her life even harder or he's going to basically do something to where she could potentially lose Kate. You're not in the wrong here but this guy is never going to stop making problems for you and I think it may be time for you and your wife to have a serious conversation with Kate because this is going from overprotective and over cautious to controlling and psychotic to say the least
The first story..... Wow. NTA at all
Lol you sat on his hand??? Amazing
1st story: NTA. wtf??? The fact that half of his family felt it was okay for April to deceive the groom/the brother is just wrong! And Joey for hating OP because he's an affair baby and yet he's going behind another person's back to sleep with their bride is a hypocrite. OP is a good sibling. Wedding should be cancel.
Story with Surgery:
He knows the surgery Day beforhand and ask Last Minute?
I know this sounds crazy for a few people, but He could ask when He knows the surgery Day and negotiate with his exwhive.
Last Minute (the Day before) is never a good idea.
This was my comment I made on this video..and was looking for another...did he not know about the surgery until the day he called? If that was the first day he knew...then yes..the OP should have thought more..But the ex also should have compromised.. because it was last minute.
BUT if he knew ahead of time...and only asked last min to put OP in a bad spot. Then OP is not the asshole
OF COURSE mom would agree - she's a cheater, herself!!
Bus story. Hey I am not pregnant but I would have sat down
Agreed. And he wouldn't have liked if I had sat on his hand. A girl my size? It would have been mangled it for life.
Especially at work, never *ever* admit to knowing another language, unless you want to get roped into being The Company Translator. Email went out, "Anyone speak [language]?". A cow-orker fessed up, was "asked" to do some translation work for a new client that only spoke [language]. Things got verrrrry busy with the new client, and he was still expected to translate, often the better part of a day, 2-3 times per week, while *STILL* being expected to keep up on all his own work. He got all stressed out trying to do both until he snapped and said nuh-uh, if he'll be translating, then that'll come out of his other work's budget, not his personal time by staying late. Advice? Avoid the drama in the first place, and stay nominally monolingual.
Story 1, I can see where Joey gets his view on cheating from if OP is the affair baby.
Cause it sounds like Jake and OP are the only decent people in this family.
How you gonna apologise for being unwell? That's insane.
Regarding OP’s ex that had a surgery scheduled for the day of OP’s sister’s engagement party…anybody else thinking that the ex should have given more than 24hrs notice of wanting to see his kids just in case there was a schedule conflict?
I mean would he still have been demanding OP to bring the kids if they were out of state or if the wedding was the day of the surgery?
The next 24hrs was the best time for the ex’s schedule to see the kids but not necessarily the best time for OP’s (and the kids’) schedule…so I’m assuming that he had more advanced notice of needing the surgery but he only told OP at the last minute…
he should have told her about needing the surgery and wanting to see the kids right before the surgery as soon as he actually learned that he’d need the surgery and also when the surgery was looking to be scheduled (since it didn’t seem to be an emergency surgery situation)…that way OP would have more time/ability to rearrange her schedule or to try to negotiate a better time for the ex to see the kids prior to the surgery…since the ex only seemed to care about the best time in HIS schedule to try to see the kids he basically screwed around and found out, imo…
His surgery was scheduled for the day after the engagement party.
He could have called and asked to see the kids the second he found out when the surgery was (you can get surgery done same day they tell you you need it and it not be an emergency) and he did ask 24 hours in advance (he asked the day before he wanted them).
An 8 y/o and a 6 y/o don't need to be at an engagement party where most adults will be getting drunk and partying. If their father had died during surgery the kids would never forgive her. Heck, he can still die from the infection (one of the largest cause of deaths in hospitals is infections).
I agree. He should have been more prepared and asked for his kids sooner. You cannot expect people to drop everything at the last minute, especially when you have shown little regard for their time
@Random Platypus with Internet how is your back after that reach? No, it's about respect for other people's time. It's respect. If the surgery was out the blue than fair enough. It wasn't. They had prior commitments. The dad should have been better organised.
And I don't moan about the good ones as I have had one for over a decade. If it had been him, he would have arranged to see his kids because he is an adult who is capable of managing his time.
The father pretty much asked last minute. Also the engagement party is also like a mini family reunion and there were probably lots of family pictures taken which is probably why sister wanted the kids there. Either way, OP and kids already had plans. I usually don't think of all the pros and cons when asked last minute to change my plans. It's usually just a No, not gonna happen. So easy to think of all the reasons why after the fact, that she should have let Mil come pick them up but was that an option at the time of his Call?
I was looking for another sensible person about this. Almost all surgeries you know several days in advance they will happen. I don't fault him wanting to see his kids before a surgery, but I do fault him for springing it last minute. It almost feels like he knew this was another way to stick it to the ex.
And in the off chance it was an emergency surgery, why did he a) have time to make the call b) not ask for them to come now
Newsflash lots of schools teach foreign languages. So people may know them without coming from a specific country. The girl had bad manners and deserved calling out!
Story 1: I'd have broadcasted all of that on the internet. They gave up any right to loyalty the second they decided to use Jake.
Why DIDN'T they ask Jake to do a donation to a sperm bank; then do a transfer to still HAVE A BIOLOGICAL sibling. Most sperm banks WILLDO THIS at a small fee.
OP2: No idea where this was but every bit of public transit I've ever been on has signs instructing you to give up your seat to the pregnant and elderly. Good for you.
The first story is a Jerry Springer episode.
It kind of also remind me of the show "Cheaters".
I would sit down with may and say I'm sorry that must of been very scary for you. You did great at getting help.
The surgery story!! The dad...how long did he KNOW ABOUT THE SURGERY?? Was sus he didnt ask until the DAY BEFORE!!??
Good afternoon XOS. Thanks for the stories. Have a great day. The only reason father showed back up is because he wants to impress his fiancee. Can't let her know he's a deadbeat
Story 1. I hope OP will tell the groom who knew about the affair so the groom can go NC with them. The groom deserves better.
May has to grow up and realize that the world is not built for unicorns, or stay away until she does. Tell her dad to get lost.
I had a neighbors kid find me on the floor passed out. ( they had the key to my place) He ran to his mom and the next door neighbor to get me help. We never figured out how long I was out before he found me. He was the same age as the little girl. When I came home from the hospital, he was more worried about me than his parents were about me or my husband apologizing for the situation. Of course I did. But we talked to him about it and commended him on doing the right thing.
Disgusting of a first story... but beyond ironic that the terrible guy treats someone badly for being an affair child while not minding to create one of his own. At least the terrible father is consistent by not minding the creation of another affair child at all.
The surgery story.
How would the reactions be if the OP was the father who divorced his partner due to chronic illness, and wouldn't let her kids before the surgery because he had a party to go too.... I'm guessing that some people's reactions may be slightly different. 🤔
First story. Hahahahaha 🤣 uncle dad uncle dad! 😂
The last story. You should apologize when the kids aren't around, and here it is: "I'm sorry that you missed out on your daughter's life. She was raised wonderfully by her mom as was demonstrated by her actions when my wife fainted. Now how long are you going to be in May's life this time? I just want to be prepared for the day May asks US, where's my dad. Also have you apologized to May for NOT giving a crap about her until now? Is May just your 'practice' child until you get a new one?" Also warn GF that he just might leave her and her kids too someday.
Nta. There were schedules to keep. With all going on more contact means higher risks of exposure and infection.
That man has no rights to hog two seats on public transport. I'd sit on the chair too.
Story 4: NTA - No, just NO! Projecting much, Daddy dearest? Neither you nor your wife did anything wrong, and May is not traumatized by seeing someone on the floor or by entering a hospital. His anxieties be damned, because what it is, is GUILT, and that is a him problem.
Lololol pee on his hand and claim your water broke "long inhale" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Interesting how a man that did nothing for his child their whole life all of a sudden feels he had the right to dictate to the ppl that have always been there for said child. He is around more because he wants to pay less in support or show off for the fiancé.
Story 4 : He could have seen his children 2 days before the surgery instead of the day before. Then plans wouldn't have to be changed. There was room for compromise that didn't disrupt life..
And since surgery is SCHEDULED, this is on him
Lol pregnant op should have said loudly "oh sorry, I didn't realize you were on a date"...
Last story-did I read right that the formerly absent father is not only demanding an apology for the terrible mistake of fainting, AND that his fiancé had the unmitigated gall to start texting OP as well?
Story 1: What a hateful, horrible family. The sister KNEW the bride-to-be and the half-brother were deep in a relationship, that the bride's plan was to get knocked up by the groom and THEN leave him for the half-brother? And it got as far as the rehearsal dinner?! WTAF?!
story 2: ladies never be ashamed by men being uncomfortable with your presence. sit on the man's hand. sit on his lap. obviously this man's mother never taught them that you stop acting like a child when you're, you know, not a child anymore.
Story 1: I'm wondering how the cheating couple expected parenting to go. What did they think the bio-father would do about the child?
Story 2: The guy holding the seat was acting inappropriately for even trying to hold a seat on public transportation regardless of if the person asking was pregnant.
Story 3: Having a conversation in public is open for others to hear it regardless of what language it's in. If you want privacy, then you step away.
1. Story: NTA
wait wait wait, OP is hated because he is an affair baby
but now OP gets hated for outing people wanting to create an affair baby? what the actual fuck is wrong with that family
2. Story: NTA
it being appropriate or not isn't important here, it was deserved
I understand taking two seats if you have a lot of luggage, but to not have someone else sit next to you? there are better ways for that
Tell those who said they are against you that they proved what kind of people they are.
If he had a scheduled surgery why did he wait for the day before to ask to see his kids
You do realize that surgery dates can and do change before the surgery takes place right?
Exactly! All the comments leapt to his defense and I'm sitting here thinking the same thing! Why did he wait?
@@bradyligtenberg7460 It doesn't matter why he waited the guy could've died ffs, he's in the hospital chronically ill who knows what drugs he may be on,perhaps he wasn't thinking straight.
@@arleneclark6369 it does matter. It means the kids were the bottom of his priority list. He could have had a lot more time with them if he know the date. I feel like if you want to see the kids you would have scheduled to see them more often before rather than popping up 2 days before surgery asking to see them. Instead he trying to power play his ex, and using his illness to do it.
As I said maybe if he was on meds he was a little confused sometimes one day rolls into another. Most people I know have forgotten what day it is several times. Either way I still believe the kids should've seen the dad or ask them . Sounds more like she pulled the power play.
First story would be hilarious if she did get pregnant and the bio dad got full custody. Also, I'd be sitting on hands all day and sneeze. I've had 2 kids so I might pee a little...
Last story - Biggest reason to not apologize to Ross is that it will embolden him by acknowledging his demands as valid. He'll start making more demands with more intrusive requirements. I'd turn it around on him and point out "You're the only one upset about this and that's your problem, not anyone else's. Get over yourself and grow up kiddo."
The french story I would have spoken up loudly in french saying how rude she is so her mother could here.
how does expressing discomfort over a person's behavior equal to tattling? I don't recall OP expressing the tone used by the friend's friend, but the friend said it wasn't the first time said friend had said nasty things.
Language story: don't talk bad about people right next to you, it doesn't matter if it's in a different language.
4th story/hospital - So, it's the MIL that stirs drama? Any time you go in for any surgery, they tell you complications can occur. Keeping her kids from seeing their dad is just a sick power play.
Unless it was an emergency he knew well in advance and he was the one doing a power play.
not just sleeping with someone for a baby, marrying him screwing him over for child support as well
I chimed in with haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door
LOL…well, here I am again. I think I need a life. Hi, XO….me again.
If you need a life, we ALL do! Just relax and enjoy the drama. 😄
Story 2: I would’ve embarrassed the shit out of that guy, much worse than sitting on it. Hell, I would’ve puked on him if I could’ve and blamed it on being sick from standing. Husband is also TA for thinking keeping your HAND on a seat is appropriate even on a regular day.
Bus story: at the risk of sounding like an AH myself, here’s what I normally do on the train. Just sit down on their hand or bag or whatever is on the seat. I pretend I didn’t see it and just sit on it. Etiquette is that seats are for sitting on, not for your hand or handbag. Most people quickly pull away their stuff before my butt lands. If I do end up sitting on a hand I just reply “sorry mate didn’t see your hand there”. No one has ever complained that I sat on their stuff or told me to get off. A dirty look is the worst I have ever got.
OP is a product of an affair and they don’t really care for you, but the sister has no issue letting the one brother get duped by the fiancé sleeping with the other brother? Like how messed up is this family
2nd story: man took up a whole seat for his hand? Nope I’d make him uncomfortable too bc that is completely terrible to take up a seat for the only person in your life that will love him. Husband is only fighting with him because he’s a man and how dare you ever make a man feel uncomfortable. But it’s OK for men to make women feel uncomfortable all the time. Let him feel uncomfortable and feel embarrassed. That’s a him problem not a you problem
With the last story… pretty sure the dead beat wants to be more active in his daughter's life because of the fiance not because he's actually a decent human being..he'll fall off the planet again.
A seat for his hand? That's called a lap. And the key is people usually don't sit on those without permission.
As someone who grew up in a divorced household I think that mother and the surgery story has 2 people in the wrong, the OP and the mother in law. Mother in law sounds like a huge pain. But father wanting to see children before surgery is normal. Surgery can be scary, i honestly was super scared when I had my surgery. I have friends who lost relatives because of a complication during a surgery. I can also 95% guarantee that no kids wants to go to mothers friends engagement party, those things used to bore me to death when I was a kid.
Op1 sounds like your relatives are people to avoid. Good on you op for calling their crap out.
Op2 some people are scum good on you op ignore these tool men
Pregnant lady is my new hero
all the food shots you use make me hungry lol
Hm. I would have to ask one question before I voted on the surgery story:
How long did the father know about the surgery?
If it's an emergency surgery (i.e. less than 48 hours warning), then OP is 100% the ahole. Surgery is never completely risk free.
If the father knew of the surgery for at least a few days, OP isn't the ahole. Provided he knew about it for at least three days before, he could have messaged and said, "I have surgery on "x" day, I'd like to see the kids at some point before that".
I dunno. I just feel like it could easily go either way.
EXACTLY!!! I wondered this as well.
I was wondering the same thing. If it was an emergency surgery Op is the AH no question about it. If he knew about it for a few weeks Op isn't the AH he had time to see them way before. People over look that she would have to take the kids to see him. He could have known about the party and pick that day to make Op bring the kids missing her sister's party or talk her into letting his mother do it. Sadly there are people like that. It could be either way without knowing how long he knew about the surgery can't say one way or the other.
This! Most times u get at least week notice unless it emergency which then it be same day or as soon as they can slot u in. And honestly if that the case I don’t think he be so wishy-woshy on the phone. It honestly sounds like he been sitting on it and been allocating days to people to come see him.
Same was wondering too. The ex mil said it got worse but that's any basic surgery it could get worse. And by the sound of it that mil is the type of witch to make it sound overblown than it is.
This is exactly what I was thinking. Unless it was emergency surgery, the dad would have known well ahead of time when the surgery was so they could have planned for the kids to see him beforehand and then still be able to go to the party. I almost wonder if he found out about the engagement party and then deliberately waited until the last minute to try and force OP to make them miss it.
I hear the name Bruno and immediately thought 'We don't talk about Bruno no no no we don't talk about Bruno'
Story 2: OP is NTA. The team member’s friend was extremely unprofessional and ungrateful.
OP should have cut off the DMs by telling her that no apology is necessary because she’s not going to be invited to anymore events.
Anyone in nearby tables could be able to understand the conversation and think poorly of OPs company and make a complaint
That first story, OP should search for the "If you could f**k off, over there, that'd be great" meme, and download it to their phone.
Then, when certain family gives him crap, just send the meme and block the buttheads.
That engagement party mom one made my blood boil. People die from surgery on an ingrown toenail - an infection is possible, and if it's a more in depth surgery (where they remove the nail bed in the worst cases) it's always possible that you could die from the anesthesia. That man asked his wife, "I'm going into surgery, after tomorrow there's a high likelihood that I won't be able to see them for a few weeks. Can I see them?" And she thought an *engagement party* was more important than her children seeing their father potentially before he died. Not only that, but seeing them would have helped him medically (a sick man doesn't need the added stress of his controlling and entitled wife). She deprived her kids of their Dad for what? An engagement party where there probably aren't many kids? YTA
She is very selfish.
The woman made me sick to my stomach. If the dad had died, the kids would never get to see him again and it would have been her fault. For some reason it sounds to me that she divorced him because of this chronic illness. If she did that makes this a thousand times worse. She’s a monster.
@@cabooedens4164 Agreed even if he didn't get an infection the fact is he could've died during the surgery,your chronically ill husband wanting to see his kids trumps your sister every time. If it was her wedding day I still would've sent the kids to see their dad. The man could've died ffs
@@arleneclark6369 me personally I think the decision should have been left with the kids. They may not want to see their dad in hospital. They may not emotionally be able to handle it or want to handle it. And honestly at that age, before surgery is pretty traumatising from everyone else energy.
Both could have compromised. She could have gone in the morning, he could have suggested another day or time. Whilst surgery is set, normally you get 2-3 weeks notice. And if it emergency it be the same day. He been sitting on this information for some time.
I think the father did this on purpose. Surgery are usually scheduled 2 to 3 weeks out or at least talked about a 2 to 3 weeks out unless emergency which is same day. He KNEW he ahd a Surgery and called demanding to see the kids the next day. ... the day of the Surgery. And then sicked his mother in law on his ex. It doesn't add up
Hope op ex gets out of hospital and takes op to court for full custody based on parental alienation. Op is definitely unhinged with pettiness. The mil is awesome for standinbupnfor her son.
Nta. Your apology was the best they should expect.
Op who 'over heard a private conversation' should apologize to the women: 'I'm sorry you were raised with an american tourist sense of entitlement, and no common sense. Next time I'll be sure to loudly call you out immediatly in public so you and everyone else can know just how stuck up you are'
My understanding, is many French nationals see American tourist as very rude and entitled. Most of the world see american tourists that way, but it's a bit more of an insult in france, than Poland.
Source: my friends who moved there for their parents job, and had a tough start until they actually tried learning local language and customs. My parents job took us to Poland.
It's funny, isn't it. Most Americans think that the French are overly obnoxious. And unreliable. Source: American who knows too many French.