How to get better at dating apps (Tinder, Bumble and Hinge)

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  • Опубликовано: 4 фев 2025
  • Dating apps are easy to download and try, but they aren’t so simple to master. In this episode of Workflow, The Verge’s Ashley Carman offers the best tips to succeed on dating apps. You’ll learn how to send the first message, pick your photos, and respond to prompts.
    The Verge’s sponsors play an important role in funding our journalism, but do not influence editorial content. For more information about our ethics policy, visit www.theverge.c....
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Комментарии • 312

  • @TheVerge
    @TheVerge  6 лет назад +69

    Which dating app do you use and why?

    • @praveen_kay
      @praveen_kay 6 лет назад +5

      i use tinder because i want both of us to be matched like a magic

    • @Tommy-nb1wo
      @Tommy-nb1wo 6 лет назад +14

      I use some tweezers for cable management

    • @thejasonhowell
      @thejasonhowell 6 лет назад

      All of them

    • @peterbest4943
      @peterbest4943 6 лет назад +6

      I used Instagram and that’s how I met my girlfriend

    • @erik8618
      @erik8618 6 лет назад

      I’m swiping

  • @qbgabe12
    @qbgabe12 6 лет назад +303

    1. Be Handsome / Pretty
    2. Be Attractive
    3. Don't Be Unattractive

    • @Lucalaurin
      @Lucalaurin 6 лет назад +9

      a fellow reddit user I see

    • @raminshakeri1485
      @raminshakeri1485 5 лет назад +2

      I am attractive but i dont recieve likes so its not only the reason to be attractive

    • @bhaveekasmith3975
      @bhaveekasmith3975 5 лет назад +1

      Add “be fit”

    • @essajazaeri4043
      @essajazaeri4043 2 года назад

      Trust me…there’s a lot more than that, I mean yes it’s the number 1 rule, but it’s DEFINITELY not enough

  • @allthingsfascinating
    @allthingsfascinating 6 лет назад +404

    A few years ago I was watching videos on How to get better at dating. Now I'm watching a video on how to get better on a dating app. Man, the Black Mirror days are beginning.

    • @rocketval9288
      @rocketval9288 6 лет назад +8

      The bad thing is I didn't improve my chances.

    • @rileysmiley9585
      @rileysmiley9585 4 года назад

      This is sad... education is opening more doors...give it a try.🐦

  • @rea8585
    @rea8585 6 лет назад +976

    You forgot step one: be attractive!

    • @donjulio1166
      @donjulio1166 6 лет назад +18

      Quick Fix - Thought Provoking Videos Anyone can look attractive with a good photographer! Bring a good friend and go take photos of each other for a day

    • @Falcons-283
      @Falcons-283 6 лет назад +75

      Step 2 .. don't be ugly

    • @danielimmortuos666
      @danielimmortuos666 6 лет назад +59

      Step three: be white

    • @danielimmortuos666
      @danielimmortuos666 6 лет назад +1

      @@donjulio1166 that'd be semi-catfishing. People would eventually meet you in real life and see how unattractive you really are and never want to see you again

    • @Marrow1ne
      @Marrow1ne 6 лет назад +1

      Anyone can look good on photo with the right angle and proper selfcare

  • @Smharry92
    @Smharry92 6 лет назад +303

    Something tells me if a guy did this video, it would be very, very different advice.

    • @mgdp12
      @mgdp12 6 лет назад +35

      "It's a numbers game"

    • @robertp457
      @robertp457 6 лет назад +11

      Men and women are different?!!? What?!?!!?

  • @NeuroticKnight9
    @NeuroticKnight9 6 лет назад +78

    Avoiding all photos with friends is actually shown to be a bad thing, because it indicates isolation. Having last as group photo signals you as socially desirable and if other people find you valuable, the potential partner might trust you more too. Humans are social animals after all.

    • @cartonet8186
      @cartonet8186 6 лет назад +2

      Women actually like it when you have pictures of other women. It's an instinct that women ahve to want to see tha tyou're wanted.

    • @mauiswift6391
      @mauiswift6391 6 лет назад +21

      @@cartonet8186 nonsense

    • @ssnthyh3781
      @ssnthyh3781 2 года назад +3

      @@cartonet8186 clearly coming from a guy

  • @minhdil7596
    @minhdil7596 6 лет назад +58

    Sooooo shouldn’t we be getting advice from someone who actually went through this and formed a real relationship? Obviously if she’s still on the app and is teaching us something’s not right.

  • @ListenTwiceSpeakOnce
    @ListenTwiceSpeakOnce 6 лет назад +21

    "How to get better at dating apps" 1. Uninstall 2. Go out 3. Speak to people. 4. Repeat steps 2-3 until you find an significant other

    • @gabrielaborjas6221
      @gabrielaborjas6221 5 лет назад +12

      I’m just watching this video, and I liked your response . I completely agree with it, but it’s difficult after you graduate from school. School is the one place where you can meet people and of course, work , but that’s off the table for many. Where do you meet people besides work?! Bars and clubs, been there done that and nothing good came from it. It is difficult to date now, especially when everything is done online. Has your advice work for you ?

    • @rileysmiley9585
      @rileysmiley9585 4 года назад

      Ikr

  • @rychan7
    @rychan7 6 лет назад +22

    5:00 - 'try a confident statement' ... 'spinach and artichoke dip is the best'....

  • @jefm3598
    @jefm3598 6 лет назад +157

    Taking tips from someone single... sound good.

  • @ValenNitto
    @ValenNitto 6 лет назад +67

    How about: I'm gonna binge watch Ozark, wanna join?

    • @rodneydsouza2454
      @rodneydsouza2454 6 лет назад +1

      Watched it already it's amazing

    • @YoungBlaze
      @YoungBlaze 6 лет назад

      @@rodneydsouza2454 I hate the daughter she gets on my nerves.....why was this video in my recommendations anyway? welp i watched it and here we are

    • @rodneydsouza2454
      @rodneydsouza2454 6 лет назад

      @@YoungBlaze RUclips knows that what you need is a new partner sooo gl

    • @YoungBlaze
      @YoungBlaze 6 лет назад +1

      @@rodneydsouza2454 yeah......."i love you youtube,"

    • @PaulDavison-eb2jf
      @PaulDavison-eb2jf 8 месяцев назад

      Hi there ​@@YoungBlaze

  • @OscarDaGenius
    @OscarDaGenius 6 лет назад +25

    “I’m a tech reporter, that’s not very exciting...”
    Me: What?!!

  • @LongclawGG
    @LongclawGG 6 лет назад +7

    Honestly, I quit dating apps a long time ago. I’ve had way more luck just randomly finding people on Instagram I have mutual friends/interests with.

  • @cancel2394
    @cancel2394 3 года назад +3

    I could use a video about 4x as long as this one for each app, I need that deep dive and love the visual examples!!

  • @DimusTech
    @DimusTech 6 лет назад +8

    To be honest I'm sort of frustrated with dating apps and "dating life" but I can tell that you are an awesome person so I really wish you luck and finding someone who will truely deserve you.

  • @erickillmonger1101
    @erickillmonger1101 6 лет назад +57

    Hey Ashley, I was reading through the book of numbers and realized I didn't have yours 😁

    • @RaghavKumar-vl5qo
      @RaghavKumar-vl5qo 6 лет назад

      ThatWasEpic......All one word..... Video will be up tomorrow 😂

  • @jamiesmith4293
    @jamiesmith4293 Год назад

    I like how she keeps saying what the app's CEO keeps saying works, but the user-interface doesn't make people do these things enough.

  • @snaztastickobe
    @snaztastickobe 6 лет назад +30

    Step 1: be perfect

    • @raminshakeri1485
      @raminshakeri1485 5 лет назад

      You cannot be perfect because human made from gold is not exist

  • @freddyromeroiii
    @freddyromeroiii 6 лет назад +3

    I fee like this could have made into its own series but I still loved the video!

  • @ThisIsTechToday
    @ThisIsTechToday 6 лет назад +20

    "It has everything to do with the trash humans in New York City." LMAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 freaking Savage. You're the best, hahaha

  • @jgames01
    @jgames01 6 лет назад +4

    At first: oh look another video by Ashely going over something more personal and less tech.
    0.2 seconds after she refers to every one as trash humans for why she's single: ok I am 100% on board and feel this

  • @Nerdykid95
    @Nerdykid95 6 лет назад +59

    Grindr is a "dating" app? What heterosexual nonsense is this

  • @francis_n
    @francis_n 6 лет назад +26

    Can The Verge do a video on How to get better at dating offline, like the old days?

    • @SomeDudeQC
      @SomeDudeQC 6 лет назад +8

      Wear google glass everywhere you go

    • @francis_n
      @francis_n 6 лет назад +3

      @@SomeDudeQC and swipe with my eyes

  • @luminousb9272
    @luminousb9272 5 лет назад

    To get better on Tinder for average and below guys is easy ask your attractive friend if you can wear his face for your Tinder photos. Works 100% 50% of the time

  • @martinfatlee6949
    @martinfatlee6949 Год назад +1

    Dating app not work for me 😢I don’t know how but never work

  • @saintwithatie
    @saintwithatie 6 лет назад +9

    2:00 "It takes a long time to fill out your Hinge profile. You have to include a bunch of photos and answer a bunch of questions."
    lolwut? You only have to upload six photos, answer three prompts, and fill in some other basic info.

    • @crystalfullerton3908
      @crystalfullerton3908 11 месяцев назад

      If someone can't be bothered to fill out their profile then they'll not be good relationship material. We all have cameras in our phones, it takes 5 sec to upload more than one terrible picture of yourself in sunglasses.

  • @citrusandseasalt
    @citrusandseasalt 6 лет назад +1

    This is kind of like reading the cosmopolitan. I don’t think the advice is bad, but it’s presented in a simplistic way that turns off more sophisticated users away.
    Also, why are you emphasizing one medium where you obviously haven’t met success? If this were to be truly useful, you’d give equal emphasis on how to better on all media. Not to mention that it’s easy to say “trash humans out there,” but there are millions of humans out there in New York. Are they all trash?
    I dated in New York for 10 years. And I met some very wonderful and compatible women. And they met me. If you really want to find someone amazing, you can.

  • @vickie_g
    @vickie_g 6 лет назад +27

    Playing with our insecurities!

    • @hammadwaseema3309
      @hammadwaseema3309 7 месяцев назад

      Hey hammad here nice to meet u lets be friends if u don't mind

  • @john_gyver
    @john_gyver 6 лет назад +3

    Nice video, but separate app for serious relationship and another app for fling etc? I thought I could find a variety of people with different objectives on any of these popular dating apps.

  • @alexis2012fulvlogs
    @alexis2012fulvlogs 4 года назад

    Honestly someone like her doesn’t even need to try. She’s already really pretty

  • @ValientRedHood
    @ValientRedHood 6 лет назад +11

    sometimes go out and have conversations with real person

  • @saptron
    @saptron 6 лет назад +3

    When i used tinder and had matches, i opened with the silly message:
    Because most guys usually will open with “hi”, “hey”, or “how are you”. I will tell you “Pizza” because i like them, so:
    PIZZA!
    This was a nice opener and most of the times i got answers, and even a pizza date!

    • @ElizabethKidaga
      @ElizabethKidaga 3 месяца назад

      Dating App never work for me😢 I don't know why?

  • @nolantifft6763
    @nolantifft6763 6 лет назад +4

    I used Tinder and found my girlfriend and we are very happy together.

    • @foxmulder8955
      @foxmulder8955 5 лет назад +1

      said 0.000000001% of the userbase.

    • @ElizabethKidaga
      @ElizabethKidaga 3 месяца назад

      Dating App never work for me, I don't why?

  • @sjcsystems
    @sjcsystems 2 года назад

    I got scammed out of thousands of pounds on Tinder. I recommend being incredibly careful as I thought I knew what I was doing.

  • @akki015
    @akki015 6 лет назад +1

    I believe I'm a decent 7 in real life but on tinder i was like a solid 4. I think I'll keep my rejection prospects to just face to face interactions.

  • @robdavies4294
    @robdavies4294 4 года назад

    Totally put a pic of u at work, its a cool job

  • @SeanTheRightWay
    @SeanTheRightWay 6 лет назад +30

    Yikes. So glad I met my wife the old fashioned way.

    • @SomeDudeQC
      @SomeDudeQC 6 лет назад +17

      Through a satanic cult?

    • @Blittsplitt5
      @Blittsplitt5 6 лет назад +9

      Through an arranged marriage?

    • @SeanTheRightWay
      @SeanTheRightWay 6 лет назад +4

      In a bar haha

    • @SomeDudeQC
      @SomeDudeQC 6 лет назад

      Sean The Right Way Basically dating apps are like being in a bar where hundreds of dudes are competing for the same person. What I'm saying is they're creepy.

  • @yasaswy
    @yasaswy 6 лет назад +3

    Wow, this is depressing.. So nobody meets people these days outside before totally knowing each other from an app or is it just a New York thing?

  • @nomad1517
    @nomad1517 2 года назад

    Step 1: money
    Step 2: weed
    Step 3: wait
    Step 4: didn't think this through

  • @TANTHEMANFILMS
    @TANTHEMANFILMS 6 лет назад +10

    best dating app is real life!

  • @Americanpatriot-zo2tk
    @Americanpatriot-zo2tk 2 года назад +1

    Well, your very pretty I can’t imagine why nobody’s grab you up yet.

  • @Roan.bot.
    @Roan.bot. 3 года назад +1

    Maybe it’s the apps that need to be better.

  • @edwnx0
    @edwnx0 6 лет назад +2

    i've been blessed with being 6'4" and cursed with being an introverted nerd.

  • @intothebeyond8763
    @intothebeyond8763 6 лет назад +1

    If you’re a man you should delete all dating apps from all and any device you own.This is the best advice that I or anyone else can give. I’ve done it and now I’m in a happy relationship. I can’t promise the same for everyone but I know you’ll be better off.

  • @samurilip
    @samurilip 6 лет назад +1

    I have gotten 2 dates from bumble....guess how many years that took?

  • @RahulSharma10
    @RahulSharma10 6 лет назад

    Hey Ashley! So, did you meet someone online, some time later?

  • @robertp457
    @robertp457 6 лет назад

    Buffalo chicken dip is awesome! I thought it sounded terrible, but I'll try something even if I think I won't like it, because that's fair, right? Anyway it was awesome!

  • @chicledecafe
    @chicledecafe 6 лет назад

    Hey Ashley, spinach artichoke dip is the best

  • @emiliomartinez2970
    @emiliomartinez2970 6 лет назад +3

    I wish I lived in New York... Here in my hometown I get that "there's no one to swipe to" message after 5 people

  • @adrian_zombturtle148
    @adrian_zombturtle148 4 года назад

    I got grinder thinking it was just a dating app once and I was all like "why is everyone a dude though"

  • @RoJoBBandG
    @RoJoBBandG 6 лет назад +2

    There should be a dating app where you just pick one thing you're looking for and it pairs you with someone who can only list one attribute, and vice versa.
    Example: "Nice Cleavage" gets paired with "Fully Loaded BMW Owner" for the shallow pond waders, "MMO Enthusiast" and "Makes Cosplay Costumes" for the geek set, etc.
    "Down to Earth" cannot be an option (at least not until people understand the meaning of that term.)
    "People say I'm 'down to Earth'.."
    Who says that about you? How do you exemplify that description? STOP USING THAT TERM, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!
    Sorry. I ranted.

  • @shivashakthiagro
    @shivashakthiagro 6 лет назад

    Hey Ashley which is that eye glass frame you are using

  • @kcdiazWTV
    @kcdiazWTV 6 лет назад +2

    I'm single too and a tech nerd.
    A tech professional, pretty boring.
    I also like food, but I am on a seafood diet. I sea food I eat it.
    Dips are essential to all parties ... when I dip, you dip we dip.
    I have 20/20 vision but, I wear glasses because, they make me look smart.
    From California.

  • @Bill0102
    @Bill0102 Год назад

    This is pure brilliance. I had the pleasure of reading something similar, and it was pure genius. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

  • @bruno3
    @bruno3 6 лет назад +10

    The whole video just seems so futile.

  • @Spreadlove5683
    @Spreadlove5683 3 года назад

    What song is in the background at the beginning?

  • @tifftom
    @tifftom 6 лет назад

    Great video! I recently discovered your podcast, really love it!

    • @hammadwaseema3309
      @hammadwaseema3309 7 месяцев назад

      Hey hammad here nice to meet u lets be friends if u don't mind me il

  • @SaceedAbul
    @SaceedAbul 6 лет назад

    Just follow rules 1 and 2 and your set

  • @kcdiazWTV
    @kcdiazWTV 4 года назад +1

    Message someone, "you can trust me. muhahaha"

  • @robertbutcher222
    @robertbutcher222 6 лет назад

    But also, most importantly, be honest. Even if an answer isn’t the most popular, but it fits you, choose that answer, what if someone else likes being with their dog too, for example.

  • @Mexicomank2
    @Mexicomank2 6 лет назад +3

    For everyone who says "step 1 be attractive" that's your problem . You don't focus on being fun or social or assume you have in the bag or not care if it doesn't work and move on to other women because there's lots of em . Like just be the best you !!!! And be confident really 90% of the work if a women thinks your looks are a deal breaker someone else might find you cute

  • @DriveupLife22
    @DriveupLife22 6 лет назад +2

    Ok. I watched the whole video and did learn something. Going to use more statements and less questions.
    That being said, I really disagree with your photo choices. Guys don't care that you like fancy food. We all eat food, it's not special. The beautiful picture of you that you self vetoed was my favorite.

  • @DownUpMusic
    @DownUpMusic 6 лет назад +4

    Well, that's a kind of a misleading title which I don't like

    • @hammadwaseema3309
      @hammadwaseema3309 7 месяцев назад

      Hey hammad here nice to meet u lets be friends if u don't mind me

  • @fairytrailapp
    @fairytrailapp 5 лет назад

    Dating apps have an inherent conflict of interest. If they're too successful, they lose their customer. This whole industry needs to be fixed.

    • @tomstickland
      @tomstickland 5 лет назад +1

      Their ideal model is constant failure with a success story for 1 in a 1000 so they can promote themselves.

  • @mowsie2k492
    @mowsie2k492 6 лет назад +62

    I think verge is dead

  • @awesomedez
    @awesomedez 6 лет назад +1

    All I have are selfies ‘cause I have no friends 😭

  • @THEBIGMG1
    @THEBIGMG1 6 лет назад +1

    Why did capital one sponsor this video ?

  • @jasonbecker
    @jasonbecker 6 лет назад +20

    Step one: Be white (unless you're in a very large city).

  • @CoachShrugs
    @CoachShrugs 6 лет назад +3

    Tech reporter? Not very exciting? That sounds interesting to me! You have photos of yourself eating food, and eating more food and answer the question with a food related answer. Wow you like food? How original.

  • @frosted1030
    @frosted1030 6 лет назад

    Why are dating apps reviewed by single people in any way going to show the effectiveness of said app? It's like asking someone that has never tasted chocolate to choose which color of chocolate has the best taste..

  • @ra_bi_ah
    @ra_bi_ah 6 лет назад

    Thanks 😊

  • @richardpellis
    @richardpellis 4 года назад

    Here's one for the ladies...no pictures of you wearing your wedding ring 💍 if you're not/no longer married.

    • @AlphaPrettyBoy
      @AlphaPrettyBoy 4 года назад

      Don’t forget the “secret” single moms who don’t mention it on their bio or show off any pics

  • @dwhopping1
    @dwhopping1 5 лет назад

    Hey Ashley, I know you posted this back in October of 2018. But this information was very helpful I didn't even know about hinge until watching this video. Good luck in the dating app world I wish I lived in New York City. Lol

  • @AntivistX
    @AntivistX 6 лет назад +1

    WAIT.........
    Is she really still rocking an iPhone 6 in 2018? Respect.

  • @ryN45678
    @ryN45678 6 лет назад

    where are you supposed to get like 20 photos of yourself doing things?

  • @emmanuelonuoha1880
    @emmanuelonuoha1880 6 лет назад +4

    Not exactly into the concept of the video, but I'll still leave a like because I can appreciate effort put Into a well made well researched video haha

  • @JhaveriAakash
    @JhaveriAakash 6 лет назад +9

    y'all running out of ideas

  • @manof2moro
    @manof2moro 6 лет назад +3

    You can tell this was recorded a while ago with the phone having the old Uber icon

    • @AlexPotvin
      @AlexPotvin 6 лет назад +3

      Sponsor approvals are fun

    • @cartonet8186
      @cartonet8186 6 лет назад +1

      Maybe she just keeps older version of apps, because they run better on her older phone.

    • @manof2moro
      @manof2moro 6 лет назад +1

      Karlton est Could be

    • @cartonet8186
      @cartonet8186 6 лет назад

      @@manof2moro Also, if you don't update the iOS, then you actually sometimes can't download the newest version of the app.

    • @manof2moro
      @manof2moro 6 лет назад +1

      Karlton est That’s what I was asking myself. Why wouldn’t she have the latest version of iOS?

  • @tylertypewriter
    @tylertypewriter 6 лет назад +1

    What does this have to do with your Workflow?

  • @BaezFlix
    @BaezFlix 6 лет назад +1

    Want to meet someone? Go out of home, interact with people IRL. The state of things in this area is just sad.

  • @MrDerekMagnuson
    @MrDerekMagnuson 6 лет назад

    So this is how Capital One chooses to spend it’s money?

  • @CloudsLikeThese
    @CloudsLikeThese 6 лет назад +1

    WHAT ON EARTH IS PIZZA DIP???? TELL ME THIS INSTANT.

    • @CloudsLikeThese
      @CloudsLikeThese 6 лет назад

      I just searched RUclips and will be collating the best recipes and dreaming about pizza dip for the next 12 hours if anyone needs me.

  • @Shashank28101988
    @Shashank28101988 6 лет назад +8

    Paid by Hinge* Lolol

  • @anujrana7707
    @anujrana7707 6 лет назад +1

    How about I binge watch season 3 of Daredevil

  • @hardToSignUpHere
    @hardToSignUpHere 3 года назад

    Honest advice is not necessarily the best one. Everyone likes to eat something; people don't care about your culinary photography, beat it!

  • @alexeyp8864
    @alexeyp8864 6 лет назад +1

    Ty, just got banned on Tinder for swiping left most of the time :(

  • @Vionbringer
    @Vionbringer 6 лет назад

    May the odds be ever in your favor! Also, spinach dip is WHERE IT'S AT!

  • @victoriapires3854
    @victoriapires3854 Год назад

    You are soo much more appealing and beautiful in this video, compared to your profile pictures

  • @rohiiiith
    @rohiiiith 6 лет назад +1

    Step One: Look Good Or Gtfo

  • @izyourrefrigrunning
    @izyourrefrigrunning 6 лет назад +1

    You seriously messed up on the photos... which is THE most important part

  • @abdulrahmanch7191
    @abdulrahmanch7191 6 лет назад +6

    I'm single too, just saying 🤷🏻‍♂️

  • @Mrspecter007
    @Mrspecter007 4 года назад

    Hahahhahahah I love that full disclosure.. Im single too hahhahahahhahah. Lmao 🤣

  • @mmp0084
    @mmp0084 6 лет назад +2

    So many preconceived notions...wish things were a lot simpler and straightforward. Peace !!

  • @astrogabba1190
    @astrogabba1190 6 лет назад

    is the Saturn V at the wall the one made by LEGO ?

  • @xynathegamer
    @xynathegamer 6 лет назад +4

    Please just dont verge

  • @Jellykrop
    @Jellykrop 6 лет назад

    But why would I want to date an app? 🤔

  • @mrtech2259
    @mrtech2259 6 лет назад +1

    Most dating apps require signing up with Facebook which is another reason not to use them.

    • @BrieoRobino
      @BrieoRobino 6 лет назад

      Probably to prevent bot accounts.

    • @AdrianMcDaid
      @AdrianMcDaid 6 лет назад

      @@BrieoRobino not every one have facebook.

    • @foxmulder8955
      @foxmulder8955 5 лет назад

      just make a throw away ac

  • @ChristAndChristCrucified
    @ChristAndChristCrucified 4 года назад

    So basically we should lie when answering prompts? 🙄

  • @jacky_mo
    @jacky_mo 5 лет назад

    Sadly, we don't have Hinge in Europe

  • @IcemountainSpring
    @IcemountainSpring 6 лет назад +1

    "Sponsored by Hinge"😂