I've always felt more comfortable saying I'm bi infront of men than I did saying I'm a lesbian because I didn't want their "validation" to go away. But I'm definitely ✨gay✨
@@MsDickerz i was in Fazakerley Hospital ward 22 in 2021 and there was a gay male nurse called Danny and i felt sexually attracted to him and wanted to kiss him but he had a boyfriend and it wouldn't have been allowed
@@MsDickerz see I had some gay relationships in my teenage days! I haven’t found anymore guys to be with. ! I got married! I still fantasy about finding a stranger in a public restroom
The anxiety vs. “butterflies” is a big one for me. When I first heard about this, it made so much sense. I was previously confused upon why I felt this weird stomach feeling, even though I experienced no attraction to the person whatsoever. Thank you for bringing it up 😅
Same, I also sometimes struggle with knowing the difference between a friendship and a crush. I try not to think about it too much bc I don’t ever want to date a friend but it does kind of worry me bc I’ve always thought of friendships as higher than dating relationships ( I’ve never dated before ) and sometimes I wonder if it’s bc I want to date that person w/o having to commit to a dating relationship.
@@ilovephoebebridgers3 it’s so confusing and it makes me feel bad, bc like I like them so much as a friend but then what if I don’t??? But also like what even are crushes???? How do you know?
happy pride month everybody!!! a tip that really helped me realize i was a lesbian is kinda strange, but helped me a ton. i asked myself "if i was a man, would i still be bi?" and the answer was no. that helped me start to come to terms with my homosexuality. hope this helped :)
This came out at the perfect time! I’ve identified as lesbian for 2 years now but recently I’ve been putting myself down and wondering if I am actually bi. This video really helped me realise that I’ve been struggling with internalised homophobia, compulsive heterosexuality and male validation. You are so good at making information clear and helpful and I just want you to know that videos like this mean so much to me and other people.
*How I knew* 1) never wanting to get married when I thought of it as opposite gender relationship, but kind of considering it when changing the relationship to same gender 2) shy around all people ( but in a different ways and difference in how often ) 3) almost never wanting compliments from opposite gender ( could be bc of personal experiences ) but liked compliments from same gender 4) only liking/idolizing male characters/people i know will never have the same feelings towards me ( this goes the same for same gender but more often w/opposite gender ) 5) when thinking about relationships/s*x I never had a group of people in mind just thought of it as something that will happen with someone of an unknown gender 6) people pleasure 7) the 2 crushes I know I had are kind of similar ( opposite and same gender crush ) 8) wanting to date same gender before opposite gender in case I have “gay panics” in opposite gender relationships 9) at first questioning my attraction for same gender, then knowing I like all people, to now questioning my attraction to opposite gender 10) not really knowing the difference or having a strong connection friendships and crushes Tbh I’ve been questioning my attraction towards opposite gender for a little while now ;”( pandemic thoughts ) but I’m not too worried about it bc I don’t plan on dating for awhile but it is something that takes up space in my mind. Honestly after Jules episode on euphoria I’ve been thinking about how much I relate to her and how I didn’t realize and still might not realize it
I might be late but hey, i relate. I have been identifying as lesbian non-binary for a while and also question my attraction to the opposite gender, because i have been struggling with these thoughts lately.
"Butterflies or Anxiety" * Me thinking of all the times I was around the opposite gender trying to remember the feeling * Sexuality is so confusing * sigh *
I knew I was gay and not bi because I didn't feel connection to males romantically. I thought some men were good-looking but I wasn't actually attracted. And in a relationship, I just enjoyed they're friendly company. Any affection was really uncomfortable for me. For women, I was so attracted and craving their affection.
OK, ok This video has got me all confused now, I recently came out as bi and quickly saw my focus turn from just guys to mostly girls and I'm not 100% sure how that happened but anyway, I've heard about the validation thing before but never bothered to look it up or anything so I'm rather surprised on how much I can relate, specifically the part about confusing who I want with who I want to be. Honestly, up until I was around 10-11 I wanted to be a boy desperately but was always kept to myself about that, possibly because my mum is kinda trans-phobic. I thought that it was all just a phase but realized I still do some certain things that show a few red flags. e.g any online accounts or opportunities to choose gender: I have chosen male. As I've grown up I've started to let my hair down more and dress a little less "tom-boy-ish" but any guy who walks by with nice hair/clothes or whatever, I tell myself I have a crush on them but now, I've realized that's not who I want, that's who I want to be. Safe to say I am gonna get no sleep tonight. TL:DR I think I'm gay and trans and idk wtf to do about it
hey, wanted to say i experienced a very similar thing!! i’m nonbinary (they/them) and when i was around 10-11 i had a lot of repressed feelings about my gender, ex. feeling more masculine and feminine at the same time. when i got older and more confident i started dressing more femininely because i wanted to be seen as attractive and beautiful (especially to men! we love compulsory heterosexuality). because of that, i thought i couldn’t be trans because i liked looking feminine and cute, but trans people can be trans and look however they want! and not every trans person “just knows” from a young age so it’s okay to be uncertain. it’s a hard process to come to terms with ur gender, so best of luck to you. my best tip is to not spend all day thinking about it and instead to just try new things, ex. board shorts, short haircuts, new name or pronouns with close friends or online. you’ll never know until you try! good luck friend :)
that moment when you think you know your sexuality but then dutchy posts a video called “how to know if your bi or gay” and you wanna support her but then you start to question everything you’ve ever known
this definitely helped make it clearer. I’ve never once questioned my attraction to women but I’ve been questioning my attraction to men for over 2 years. also i am so anxious thinking ab going on dates with men, I never do, I usually just use them for validation. quite eye opening …. guess I’m not bi oof
Thank you for this video. It’s a tough one for me too. Wondering whether my attraction to women is just engrained heteronormativity. But we don’t have to obsess about this. We can love how we feel right to love. And I’m so proud of my love for my wife and also my attraction to guys.
I am a guy, married and for years have found myself sexually attracted to men’s bodies and what it would be like to have sex with a man. Don’t want a label but thought I would share my feelings. To each his/her own. We have to be happy in our own skin and I support everyone. Bless you all😅
Two videos that have helped me on this topic is The BI-CYCLE by Verilybitchie and Lesbian Chronicals: Hetero sex when you're gay AF. I appreciate you discussing the sex aspect as a lot of videos on this topic steer away from it. That perspective and input has made such a difference in connecting with my sexuality. Currently rolling with biromantic homosexual or queer if I don't want to explain myself.
the whole 'do I want to BE him or be BE WITH him?' thing is so real I thought once I was attracted to this male celebrity (which would have been the closest I've come to a real male crush), then I realised I just wanted to look like him, and I went and got the exact same short haircut lol comphet has really messed with me over the years, but I'm slowly unpacking all that
Thank you for this video. I am a 16 year old girl and I have been questioning if I’m either gay or bisexual for years!! I know that I am definitely attracted to girls but I don’t know about guys. After watching your video it has confirmed that I’m gay. I have been thinking this for over a year and I couldn’t accept it. I still struggle to accept that I am anything but straight. I’m 100% sure my parents will be fine with it but for some reason I don’t want to tell anybody? I don’t know why and it’s frustrating but I just don’t want anyone to know. Anybody have any advice on why this is?
Hi Gemma, I also wanted to tell my bestie that i am lesbian and i am also sure that she is fine with it but i still don't want to and I think its because i am still afraid of what she will be say or may be its because i am not ready and want more time.
for me as a bi woman my feelings on men is like: can’t live with them, can’t live without them 🤣 I wish I could date men without feeling heterofatalism though cause after dating a girl dating a guy is like molasses and it’s so much struggle and there are so many rules you forget about your gender roles that you need to relearn and it’s like… a labyrinth💀💀
Omg Tysm for this vid! It helped me realise that I want attracted to men, but more that I wanted to be them, and dress like them! This vid helped a lot! Thx
This was really helpful. I'm ace and demiro and I identify as pan. The pan part only comes from the fact that I know that if I'm emotionally close enough with someone gender wouldn't matter.
This helped me a lot I am pretty sure I'm Bi but then I freak out and think, what if Im a big lesbian and don't like guys. So thank you so much! HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! 🏳️🌈 🏳️🌈
this vid was sooooooooooooo helpful espetioally your first question "are you attracted to them or want them to be attracted to you" because i always thought if one was true so was the other but now i understand that's not true and I'm prob gay
it's that time again for a joke... here it is: my friend and i were texting yesterday and she sent me this "good night homo" trying to say "good night homii" then says "ah same thing" *ok bounus joke bc i think it's funny but also very overused* pansexuals be like: im more pan than peter and twice as magical. (if i offended anyone just tell me and i'll edit it out)
I know that I had been attracted to him since I started loving him six years ago, and I am still attracted, and in love with him. It's just my soul belongs with someone else. She's an Florida native born on April 10th 1993, and that's when I was born in Virginia. She currently live in California now.
It's wild being in my mid-30's and questioning this. I've identified as bi since I was like 12, but getting back into the dating world now for the first time since my 20's, I just find myself so repulsed by men. And then thinking back on it, of the several men I've dated, I didn't have crushes on any of them beforehand--I only started being into them once they had made the first move and I was giddy over being wanted. All the big crushes I've had in my life have been on women, at least after puberty. And being intimate with men, I always found their anatomy kind of ridiculous and off-putting, and while I certainly enjoyed what they would do **to** me, doing things to **them** always felt like a chore that was only fair to reciprocate, not something that turned me on. Back in my youth when I was in a very promiscuous phase, and had several friends with benefits of male, female, and other varieties... with the men it was really always about what they could do to me, it didn't matter what they looked like--I think I probably told myself I was being very non-judgmental by playing around with men I didn't really find hot. Really, if they were willing to pleasure me, I was down to clown. But meanwhile I was both oggling the hotness of many shapes of women and nonbinary afab folk on the daily, and pining for real meaningful relationships with them. And yeah, now that all I want is a committed life partnership, men just have zero appeal at all. I'm still not sure if I'm valid or pure enough to call myself a lesbian, but I'm definitely going with "queer" instead of "bi" these days... because bi implies I'd date a man, and I don't think I would anymore.
First I thought I'm straight. I wasn't. Then I thought I'm bi. I wasn't. After that I thought I'm pan. I wasn't too. Then lesbian. I wasn't. Then it switched a lot between lesbian and pan. Later a online friend said me, it gives omnisexual. Now I know I'm a omnisexual girl with preference to girls. :D
I had some amazing gay experience in my hometown! Ny teens! Since I couldn’t find anymore guy relationships! I got married! But I still fantasize about not past! I even fantasized about meeting a stranger in a public restroom.! I miss that ! So I guess I see myself as bi! Even though I haven’t had anymore experience with a guy! Thank you for sharing your story!
im always like oh yeah im into guys yeah (im bi, im pretty sure lmao) but then as soon as one compliments me im like egh no gross go away or if one touches me or anything im like nope nope nope not todayyy but if a girl does either of those im like y e s pls
By watching this video made me realize i was gay not bi. I was questioning for at least for 3 monts now, you really helped thanks!! Edit:lol now i really really realized that im bi tho. yeah theres that lol
I think about this A LOT. But it has been helpful realizing that I question my attraction to guys just as much as I question my attraction to girls. I don’t know if this makes sense, but the fact that I question my attraction to all genders, not just one, has helped me solidify that I’m bi. But really, who knows haha
The point about liking sex with men for example because they know how to make someone feel good is especially pertinent to me. I have classically had no boundaries for many years - partly as being a neurodivergent person, and partly from early sexual abuse. Because of this, I have been extraordinarily confused about men and my attraction to them. I’ve been realizing it’s quite possible that I like some of them, but mostly I am just imagining they are women and basically transforming them in my head when they touch me. They become some strange, almost esoteric idea that I can make whatever I want. It helps me understand my attraction to women is stronger than I had realized. And I fully know also I could be still bisexual, and that is also valid! But to understand the depth of this is important.
4:06 Hi Dutchy, big fan of yours here, just wanted to give a tip that i figured out i was lesb but i feel like unnatainable men irl also count. Like older men or gay men if you know what I mean. Love what you do, keep the amazing work as always. < 3
I clicked on it even tho I know I’m more gay then Jesus was suppose to make me, he really fell asleep while pouring it. I got the whole gay pack in me sis
I'm so confused i though I was straight bc I like fictional or celebrities that are male and one time I thought I was "attracted" to a guy from my class but as soon as he said I like him I felt anxiety but I can also see myself in relationships with men but recently I'm starting to notice woman in a romantic way like wanting to hold their hand and being with them but I still havent fallen in love with woman either fictional or celebrities.
Anxiety comes from depression dutchie that's and there is people that suffer from anxiety attacks and panic attacks in the can be caused by anything now
The only attractive men I liked were fictional (couldn’t even bring my self to like celebrities) and now I’m realizing I was just idolizing/internalizing them (wanted to be like them basically) and could never be in a relationship with a man in any shape or form or way
I’m attracted to 2D anime male characters, but actually getting kissed, my feelings are uuhhhhhhh, I’m suddenly in a make out session?, I guess I’ll still let it keep going.... So still not around consistently the people I need to connect with to live happily, freely; being stuck what this certain sensation actually means to me, leaving me lost a lot of the time. I’m just in need of the right woman to be comforted by and still dream of having a playful relationship with a happy sweet guy.
Omg I will love this video so much, Tysm for being amazing and the awesome bicon you are 🏳️🌈✨💞💗💗 Also, thank you for helping me through everything 👏🙏✨✨💞
Where does thing between your legs tells the truth doesn't it when you get this twitches in their hand feelings and and butterflies if you get nervous but that can be caused by different things to think it nervous if you're going for a job you can get nervous if you're doing something that you were unsure about but fleas can be caused by several different things
Hi! I’m here because I know these people are gonna be supportive! And I have a bit of a dilemma. I have this guy friend that likes me. ( I’m a girl ) And I told him I like him to! Well, earlier today I found out he doesn’t support LGBTQ+. I’m not sure if I’m a part of it but am still learning about myself more and more. I’ve been watching TikTok’s of people coming out and every time a lesbian one comes up I feel like I want that. I realize I’m lesbian! But for some weird reason I feel like I shouldn’t come out until I’m older cause I’m only 12. I don’t know what to do and need help. Please respond if you can help I really appreciate it!
I am by no means an expert on this, and still learning about myself too! but here I go: I feel that, if you don't _really_ want to be in relationship with someone (i.e the guy friend). It can wait. I know sometimes it's hard to get out of a situation if you both know you like each other and you feel like things should 'naturally' progress. But all of that can wait. And you have NO obligation to peruse anything. It's more important to discover yourself at your own pace right now. Everyone says not to bottle things up, and that's true. But until you can completely trust someone with information, it's best to keep things to yourself. At least for a little while until you feel confident about what you want to say. And until you know yourself better. Then again it's never too late or too early to come out. You will feel ready when you're ready. Don't force yourself to come out. There's also nothing wrong about not coming out at all to certain people. And nothing wrong about not knowing who you are. Ok so I know that all sounds like I'm a wise LGBTQ+ elder. I'm not! I just wanted to help out and give some of my own advice. Seen as I was once 12 and not out and not completely sure of myself. Take everything I said with a grain of salt as well bc I'm not in your shoes! Bear
@@bearmugs1408 Thank you so much Bear! Your so right and I’ll come out when I’m ready. You don’t know how much this means to me and I’m so thankful for this encouragement and help! -Froggy
Idk what i am. Cuz i thought i was bi (female and male) but then i fell for a non binary person, and i kinda think i might like gender fluid/demigender people etc but i don’t think i like trans as a sexual and romantic relationships (ILY ALL THO, YALL ROCK AND R SO STRONG I JUST PERSONALLY DON’T FEEL SEXUAL ATTRACTIONS) so im confused. Am i bi or omni or is there another term? I’m also dk my gender. Cuz i feel like i change, so like usually i feel she/her, she/they, they/she or they/them but then it fluctuates and sometimes i feel like they/him or he/him (very rarely) but it all fluctuates bc it changes so idk. Help me plz
I say that I’m gay (im cis male) but I can still recognise if a woman is attractive and I can even almost find myself being attracted to them , I would however never in a million years want to be in a relationship with them. Does this make me Bi?
Hi Dutchy! This video was very informative and helpful. I wish i could subscribe but my parents are homophobic and go through my yt account so if they found out i was subbed to you they’d probably have me delete yt 🥲 Happy pride month 🏳️🌈
Have any of you struggled with attraction vs validation? 🌈💗
Defo oh my days
@@sophieshutyourgob4778 it’s a confusing time hey!
yup and it sucks lol
@@moonyloops doesn’t it!! 🥺🥺
@@MsDickerz Yes!! Lol.
I've always felt more comfortable saying I'm bi infront of men than I did saying I'm a lesbian because I didn't want their "validation" to go away. But I'm definitely ✨gay✨
Oooh interesting!!
same here!!! still trying to figure it out, but i think i’m just not fit for a specific label, i just like who i like.
SAMEEE
@@MsDickerz i was in Fazakerley Hospital ward 22 in 2021 and there was a gay male nurse called Danny and i felt sexually attracted to him and wanted to kiss him but he had a boyfriend and it wouldn't have been allowed
@@MsDickerz see I had some gay relationships in my teenage days! I haven’t found anymore guys to be with. ! I got married! I still fantasy about finding a stranger in a public restroom
The anxiety vs. “butterflies” is a big one for me. When I first heard about this, it made so much sense. I was previously confused upon why I felt this weird stomach feeling, even though I experienced no attraction to the person whatsoever. Thank you for bringing it up 😅
Same, I also sometimes struggle with knowing the difference between a friendship and a crush.
I try not to think about it too much bc I don’t ever want to date a friend but it does kind of worry me bc I’ve always thought of friendships as higher than dating relationships ( I’ve never dated before ) and sometimes I wonder if it’s bc I want to date that person w/o having to commit to a dating relationship.
@@fadedaudios399 my life in a paragraph
@@ilovephoebebridgers3 it’s so confusing and it makes me feel bad, bc like I like them so much as a friend but then what if I don’t???
But also like what even are crushes???? How do you know?
@@fadedaudios399 fr?! I can’t take anymore “is it a crush” quizzes
Its kind of like that with me sometimes when I see pretty girls
happy pride month everybody!!! a tip that really helped me realize i was a lesbian is kinda strange, but helped me a ton. i asked myself "if i was a man, would i still be bi?" and the answer was no. that helped me start to come to terms with my homosexuality. hope this helped :)
ooooh that’s clever! thanks for sharing xx
This help a ton thanks so much!!
Damn that's actually clever
Thanks, now i know that i'm lesbian. 3 years struggling with that and u solve in 3 seconds for me LOL (i'm Brazilian, sorry for the english)
@@thewalkingscientist Your better at english than 80% of people I know LOL.
that "attraction vs anxiety" thing has been throwing me for years
Is that Citra from far cry 3?
This came out at the perfect time! I’ve identified as lesbian for 2 years now but recently I’ve been putting myself down and wondering if I am actually bi. This video really helped me realise that I’ve been struggling with internalised homophobia, compulsive heterosexuality and male validation. You are so good at making information clear and helpful and I just want you to know that videos like this mean so much to me and other people.
I kinda see myself bi. Because I had some crazy gay experience! I still fantasized about him.! And meeting a stranger
happy pride month you guys!! just a reminder that you are valid no matter your sexuality or lack of, i’m so proud of you! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤍🤎🖤
Yessssss 💗💗💗
❤
I love rainbow hearts
"You like all women and Harry Styles" that's so specific 😳😳😳
I cackled bc it’s literally me
HAHAHAH THAT'S SO SPECIFIC AND ME
So who are we then in this case? Bi or gay
@@New-ss4yhgay, because It’s not realistic to get with him so.. (at least I think)
@@HeartoAino I couldn’t find myself finding any gay guys! So I got married! I still miss having sex with a guy
omg i can't wait for this one!! anyone else question this literally everyday?
Yessss I like a girl but idk if I like guys soooo
Yes, all the time!
Yes I like a girl but I also like boys!
Sammee
YES
*How I knew*
1) never wanting to get married when I thought of it as opposite gender relationship, but kind of considering it when changing the relationship to same gender
2) shy around all people ( but in a different ways and difference in how often )
3) almost never wanting compliments from opposite gender ( could be bc of personal experiences ) but liked compliments from same gender
4) only liking/idolizing male characters/people i know will never have the same feelings towards me ( this goes the same for same gender but more often w/opposite gender )
5) when thinking about relationships/s*x I never had a group of people in mind just thought of it as something that will happen with someone of an unknown gender
6) people pleasure
7) the 2 crushes I know I had are kind of similar ( opposite and same gender crush )
8) wanting to date same gender before opposite gender in case I have “gay panics” in opposite gender relationships
9) at first questioning my attraction for same gender, then knowing I like all people, to now questioning my attraction to opposite gender
10) not really knowing the difference or having a strong connection friendships and crushes
Tbh I’ve been questioning my attraction towards opposite gender for a little while now ;”( pandemic thoughts ) but I’m not too worried about it bc I don’t plan on dating for awhile but it is something that takes up space in my mind.
Honestly after Jules episode on euphoria I’ve been thinking about how much I relate to her and how I didn’t realize and still might not realize it
thanks this was helpful
I might be late but hey, i relate. I have been identifying as lesbian non-binary for a while and also question my attraction to the opposite gender, because i have been struggling with these thoughts lately.
I feel the same . I had some great gay moments ! But I got married! I still miss that
As a straight male, still excellent content. I have so much love and respect for everyone and hope you have a great day. Blessings from South Africa
We are not born straight.
Happy pride month all!! hope yall are having a wonderful pride so far.
remember to eat and stay hydrated, love yall💕
Thank you!
You to!
HAPPY PRIDE MONTH 💗
Dutchy: "Hello? Can you just come out for a sec?"
Me: *Nervous panromantic noises*
"Butterflies or Anxiety"
* Me thinking of all the times I was around the opposite gender trying to remember the feeling *
Sexuality is so confusing * sigh *
I knew I was gay and not bi because I didn't feel connection to males romantically. I thought some men were good-looking but I wasn't actually attracted. And in a relationship, I just enjoyed they're friendly company. Any affection was really uncomfortable for me. For women, I was so attracted and craving their affection.
OK, ok
This video has got me all confused now,
I recently came out as bi and quickly saw my focus turn from just guys to mostly girls
and I'm not 100% sure how that happened but anyway,
I've heard about the validation thing before but never bothered to look it up or anything so I'm rather surprised
on how much I can relate, specifically the part about confusing who I want with who I want to be. Honestly, up until
I was around 10-11 I wanted to be a boy desperately but was always kept to myself about that, possibly because
my mum is kinda trans-phobic. I thought that it was all just a phase but realized I still do some certain things that show a few red flags. e.g any online accounts or opportunities to choose gender: I have chosen male.
As I've grown up I've started to let my hair down more and dress a little less "tom-boy-ish" but any guy who walks by
with nice hair/clothes or whatever, I tell myself I have a crush on them but now, I've realized that's not who I want,
that's who I want to be. Safe to say I am gonna get no sleep tonight.
TL:DR I think I'm gay and trans and idk wtf to do about it
hey, wanted to say i experienced a very similar thing!! i’m nonbinary (they/them) and when i was around 10-11 i had a lot of repressed feelings about my gender, ex. feeling more masculine and feminine at the same time. when i got older and more confident i started dressing more femininely because i wanted to be seen as attractive and beautiful (especially to men! we love compulsory heterosexuality). because of that, i thought i couldn’t be trans because i liked looking feminine and cute, but trans people can be trans and look however they want! and not every trans person “just knows” from a young age so it’s okay to be uncertain. it’s a hard process to come to terms with ur gender, so best of luck to you. my best tip is to not spend all day thinking about it and instead to just try new things, ex. board shorts, short haircuts, new name or pronouns with close friends or online. you’ll never know until you try! good luck friend :)
So I am not the only one who is attracted to just girls, and Harry Styles
that moment when you think you know your sexuality but then dutchy posts a video called “how to know if your bi or gay” and you wanna support her but then you start to question everything you’ve ever known
Ooooop-
Happy Pride Month y’all!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤍🤎🖤🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
I’m excited!! Attraction and validation can be confusing when you’re trying to differentiate between the two 😅
Mooood!
THIS IS THE VIDEO I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR HAHDHSHD
I’m GLAD!!
this definitely helped make it clearer. I’ve never once questioned my attraction to women but I’ve been questioning my attraction to men for over 2 years. also i am so anxious thinking ab going on dates with men, I never do, I usually just use them for validation. quite eye opening …. guess I’m not bi oof
Thank you for this video. It’s a tough one for me too. Wondering whether my attraction to women is just engrained heteronormativity. But we don’t have to obsess about this. We can love how we feel right to love. And I’m so proud of my love for my wife and also my attraction to guys.
I am a guy, married and for years have found myself sexually attracted to men’s bodies and what it would be like to have sex with a man. Don’t want a label but thought I would share my feelings.
To each his/her own. We have to be happy in our own skin and I support everyone.
Bless you all😅
Why don't you give it a try? We homosexual men suffer because I hide you.
Scientists flirting be like: A perfect specimen
Two videos that have helped me on this topic is The BI-CYCLE by Verilybitchie and Lesbian Chronicals: Hetero sex when you're gay AF.
I appreciate you discussing the sex aspect as a lot of videos on this topic steer away from it. That perspective and input has made such a difference in connecting with my sexuality.
Currently rolling with biromantic homosexual or queer if I don't want to explain myself.
I can’t wait this is going to help me so much, I love u dutchy
LOVE YOU
I'm Bi but I'm still questioning,I'm genderfluid and I'm 10 years old
Ten! Wow! Can’t believe u have a handle on ur sexuality so young
the whole 'do I want to BE him or be BE WITH him?' thing is so real
I thought once I was attracted to this male celebrity (which would have been the closest I've come to a real male crush), then I realised I just wanted to look like him, and I went and got the exact same short haircut lol
comphet has really messed with me over the years, but I'm slowly unpacking all that
Thank you for this video. I am a 16 year old girl and I have been questioning if I’m either gay or bisexual for years!! I know that I am definitely attracted to girls but I don’t know about guys. After watching your video it has confirmed that I’m gay. I have been thinking this for over a year and I couldn’t accept it. I still struggle to accept that I am anything but straight. I’m 100% sure my parents will be fine with it but for some reason I don’t want to tell anybody? I don’t know why and it’s frustrating but I just don’t want anyone to know. Anybody have any advice on why this is?
Hi Gemma, I also wanted to tell my bestie that i am lesbian and i am also sure that she is fine with it but i still don't want to and I think its because i am still afraid of what she will be say or may be its because i am not ready and want more time.
@@manvisingh2894 that does make sense thank you :) good luck for when you do tell her x
@@ggbro2742 welcome and good luck for you as well ^_^
I question this every day. I just made a video about denial as well. Thank you so much for making this great content. Love you.
what if you’re struggling on bi or straight ??????
Can do a video on this too!
for me as a bi woman my feelings on men is like: can’t live with them, can’t live without them 🤣
I wish I could date men without feeling heterofatalism though cause after dating a girl dating a guy is like molasses and it’s so much struggle and there are so many rules you forget about your gender roles that you need to relearn and it’s like… a labyrinth💀💀
I’m wondering if I’m bi or gay but I don’t know, this helped! Love you dutchy!
That’s just...omg, we need more videos like this
Omg Tysm for this vid! It helped me realise that I want attracted to men, but more that I wanted to be them, and dress like them! This vid helped a lot! Thx
Thank You so much for this. I can't tell you how much this has helped. I thought I was weird finding a male celebrity attractive as a lesbian.
thanks sm for this dutchy!!! can you also make a vid on overcoming internalized homophobia/shame being a wlw? :-) happy pride everyone!!!
This was really helpful. I'm ace and demiro and I identify as pan. The pan part only comes from the fact that I know that if I'm emotionally close enough with someone gender wouldn't matter.
This helped me a lot I am pretty sure I'm Bi but then I freak out and think, what if Im a big lesbian and don't like guys. So thank you so much! HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! 🏳️🌈 🏳️🌈
this vid was sooooooooooooo helpful espetioally your first question "are you attracted to them or want them to be attracted to you" because i always thought if one was true so was the other but now i understand that's not true and I'm prob gay
This video is so good! I hope y'all can figure youself out and happy pride ❤
this actually really helped and i think i finally figured it out, thank you so much for helping me figure out my sexuality!!
this is so weird i was literally talking about this today!! 🥴🤯
it's that time again for a joke...
here it is: my friend and i were texting yesterday and she sent me this
"good night homo" trying to say "good night homii" then says "ah same thing"
*ok bounus joke bc i think it's funny but also very overused*
pansexuals be like: im more pan than peter and twice as magical. (if i offended anyone just tell me and i'll edit it out)
Well my user works very well for the Pansexual part- 😂💀
@@chaoticdemonpunk oop lol it does
i cackled
@@moonyloops my job here is done
* drops mic walks away *
Peter pan: *high pitched demon screaming*
been waiting for this one😫😫
💗💗💗
Dutchy you are a queen and an icon.
All I can say is thank you for the help 😭
I know that I had been attracted to him since I started loving him six years ago, and I am still attracted, and in love with him. It's just my soul belongs with someone else. She's an Florida native born on April 10th 1993, and that's when I was born in Virginia. She currently live in California now.
It's wild being in my mid-30's and questioning this. I've identified as bi since I was like 12, but getting back into the dating world now for the first time since my 20's, I just find myself so repulsed by men. And then thinking back on it, of the several men I've dated, I didn't have crushes on any of them beforehand--I only started being into them once they had made the first move and I was giddy over being wanted. All the big crushes I've had in my life have been on women, at least after puberty. And being intimate with men, I always found their anatomy kind of ridiculous and off-putting, and while I certainly enjoyed what they would do **to** me, doing things to **them** always felt like a chore that was only fair to reciprocate, not something that turned me on. Back in my youth when I was in a very promiscuous phase, and had several friends with benefits of male, female, and other varieties... with the men it was really always about what they could do to me, it didn't matter what they looked like--I think I probably told myself I was being very non-judgmental by playing around with men I didn't really find hot. Really, if they were willing to pleasure me, I was down to clown. But meanwhile I was both oggling the hotness of many shapes of women and nonbinary afab folk on the daily, and pining for real meaningful relationships with them. And yeah, now that all I want is a committed life partnership, men just have zero appeal at all.
I'm still not sure if I'm valid or pure enough to call myself a lesbian, but I'm definitely going with "queer" instead of "bi" these days... because bi implies I'd date a man, and I don't think I would anymore.
I've been thinking about this question a lot lately but I really don't know who I'd be attracted to and I don't know if I'm ready to find out just yet
Your content is fantastic as always!!! The new merch is GORGE and you look great btw ☺️
kinda of not relevant to the question but I asked the girl I like out and we’re dating now!!!! 🥰
glad it went wellll
How’s it going? Still together?
First I thought I'm straight.
I wasn't.
Then I thought I'm bi.
I wasn't.
After that I thought I'm pan.
I wasn't too.
Then lesbian.
I wasn't.
Then it switched a lot between lesbian and pan.
Later a online friend said me, it gives omnisexual.
Now I know I'm a omnisexual girl with preference to girls. :D
Amazing video!! I know we haven't watched it yet but it is already awesome cause Dutchy's awesome!! Ly!! Btw, LOVE your merch!! NOTIFICATION SQUAD!!
Aw CUTIE!!! Eeek thank you!! Did you buy some?! 🥰🥰🥰
@@MsDickerz Not yet. I will see if I have enough money too!! Your welcome!!
I had some amazing gay experience in my hometown! Ny teens! Since I couldn’t find anymore guy relationships! I got married! But I still fantasize about not past! I even fantasized about meeting a stranger in a public restroom.! I miss that ! So I guess I see myself as bi! Even though I haven’t had anymore experience with a guy! Thank you for sharing your story!
im always like oh yeah im into guys yeah (im bi, im pretty sure lmao) but then as soon as one compliments me im like egh no gross go away or if one touches me or anything im like nope nope nope not todayyy but if a girl does either of those im like y e s pls
By watching this video made me realize i was gay not bi. I was questioning for at least for 3 monts now, you really helped thanks!!
Edit:lol now i really really realized that im bi tho. yeah theres that lol
glad I could help :)
Hey what made you reconsider and think you’re bi anyways?
I love her eyeshadow, I want to try that tooo💖💜💙
im not gonna lie this video helped a lot
I think about this A LOT. But it has been helpful realizing that I question my attraction to guys just as much as I question my attraction to girls. I don’t know if this makes sense, but the fact that I question my attraction to all genders, not just one, has helped me solidify that I’m bi. But really, who knows haha
The point about liking sex with men for example because they know how to make someone feel good is especially pertinent to me. I have classically had no boundaries for many years - partly as being a neurodivergent person, and partly from early sexual abuse. Because of this, I have been extraordinarily confused about men and my attraction to them. I’ve been realizing it’s quite possible that I like some of them, but mostly I am just imagining they are women and basically transforming them in my head when they touch me. They become some strange, almost esoteric idea that I can make whatever I want. It helps me understand my attraction to women is stronger than I had realized. And I fully know also I could be still bisexual, and that is also valid! But to understand the depth of this is important.
OMG TYSM FOR THIS. Its literally the most helpful video i saw. Im still confused but thus video really helped a lot!
The first one really made me go "yeah, I'm a lesbian 100%" because I don't find men attractive and I don't want men to be attracted to me
can’t wait for this.
🥰🥰🥰
4:06
Hi Dutchy, big fan of yours here, just wanted to give a tip that i figured out i was lesb but i feel like unnatainable men irl also count. Like older men or gay men if you know what I mean. Love what you do, keep the amazing work as always. < 3
I clicked on it even tho I know I’m more gay then Jesus was suppose to make me, he really fell asleep while pouring it. I got the whole gay pack in me sis
HHahahaa bless
@@MsDickerz happy pride month!
How much validation know about human beings feelings and chemicals inside our bodies and Minds validation is just a word
hi! Happy pride month! Bi pride stand up! ( please give me a shout out you are the coolest)
HIIIII MELYNDA
Holy crap you have a lot more followers !!!!! Hell yeah!!!!
Yep I can confidently say after watching this vid that I am def a lesbian
Thankyou, I know Finnally have the answers I need about myself. Very grateful for this video
I'm so confused i though I was straight bc I like fictional or celebrities that are male and one time I thought I was "attracted" to a guy from my class but as soon as he said I like him I felt anxiety but I can also see myself in relationships with men but recently I'm starting to notice woman in a romantic way like wanting to hold their hand and being with them but I still havent fallen in love with woman either fictional or celebrities.
Anxiety comes from depression dutchie that's and there is people that suffer from anxiety attacks and panic attacks in the can be caused by anything now
Happy Pride month every body 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
🥰🥰🥰
Me now extremely confused 😭😭😭
Can you please do a version of this for guys that are dealing with this same topic?
Great video! And I'm not sure that the sun can come out…
This was so helpful. Thank you dutchy!!!
This actually helped me, thank you
The only attractive men I liked were fictional (couldn’t even bring my self to like celebrities) and now I’m realizing I was just idolizing/internalizing them (wanted to be like them basically) and could never be in a relationship with a man in any shape or form or way
This was super helpful thank you❤️🧚♀️
I’m attracted to 2D anime male characters, but actually getting kissed, my feelings are uuhhhhhhh, I’m suddenly in a make out session?, I guess I’ll still let it keep going....
So still not around consistently the people I need to connect with to live happily, freely; being stuck what this certain sensation actually means to me, leaving me lost a lot of the time.
I’m just in need of the right woman to be comforted by and still dream of having a playful relationship with a happy sweet guy.
Lmao I got a Rick and Morty ad before this
Butterflies in my stomach for the first time I'm you could get butterflies can be caused by anything or people that suffer from nerves
Some serious food for thought.
Michael B. Jordan is my Harry Styles. 😂
Not gonna lie now I’m more confused. Not because your video wasn’t helpful but because I hadn’t asked myself some of these questions before. Eeek
Do you listen to "girl in red"🌈gay...off topic sorta.
Omg I will love this video so much, Tysm for being amazing and the awesome bicon you are 🏳️🌈✨💞💗💗
Also, thank you for helping me through everything 👏🙏✨✨💞
Of course! Here to help 💗
@@MsDickerz ✨💞
Hey @dutchy could you do a video on how to know you are gender fluid
Where does thing between your legs tells the truth doesn't it when you get this twitches in their hand feelings and and butterflies if you get nervous but that can be caused by different things to think it nervous if you're going for a job you can get nervous if you're doing something that you were unsure about but fleas can be caused by several different things
I’m married to a beautiful woman.! I do fantastic about that experience with va guy! Meeting a stranger
Hi! I’m here because I know these people are gonna be supportive! And I have a bit of a dilemma. I have this guy friend that likes me. ( I’m a girl ) And I told him I like him to! Well, earlier today I found out he doesn’t support LGBTQ+. I’m not sure if I’m a part of it but am still learning about myself more and more. I’ve been watching TikTok’s of people coming out and every time a lesbian one comes up I feel like I want that. I realize I’m lesbian! But for some weird reason I feel like I shouldn’t come out until I’m older cause I’m only 12. I don’t know what to do and need help. Please respond if you can help I really appreciate it!
I am by no means an expert on this, and still learning about myself too! but here I go:
I feel that, if you don't _really_ want to be in relationship with someone (i.e the guy friend). It can wait. I know sometimes it's hard to get out of a situation if you both know you like each other and you feel like things should 'naturally' progress. But all of that can wait. And you have NO obligation to peruse anything.
It's more important to discover yourself at your own pace right now.
Everyone says not to bottle things up, and that's true. But until you can completely trust someone with information, it's best to keep things to yourself. At least for a little while until you feel confident about what you want to say. And until you know yourself better. Then again it's never too late or too early to come out. You will feel ready when you're ready. Don't force yourself to come out.
There's also nothing wrong about not coming out at all to certain people. And nothing wrong about not knowing who you are.
Ok so I know that all sounds like I'm a wise LGBTQ+ elder. I'm not! I just wanted to help out and give some of my own advice. Seen as I was once 12 and not out and not completely sure of myself. Take everything I said with a grain of salt as well bc I'm not in your shoes!
Bear
@@bearmugs1408 Thank you so much Bear! Your so right and I’ll come out when I’m ready. You don’t know how much this means to me and I’m so thankful for this encouragement and help! -Froggy
Idk what i am. Cuz i thought i was bi (female and male) but then i fell for a non binary person, and i kinda think i might like gender fluid/demigender people etc but i don’t think i like trans as a sexual and romantic relationships (ILY ALL THO, YALL ROCK AND R SO STRONG I JUST PERSONALLY DON’T FEEL SEXUAL ATTRACTIONS) so im confused. Am i bi or omni or is there another term? I’m also dk my gender. Cuz i feel like i change, so like usually i feel she/her, she/they, they/she or they/them but then it fluctuates and sometimes i feel like they/him or he/him (very rarely) but it all fluctuates bc it changes so idk. Help me plz
i have no idea how to tell if i wanna look like/be a girl or if i’m attracted to them. i have literally zero clue how to tell the difference
I say that I’m gay (im cis male) but I can still recognise if a woman is attractive and I can even almost find myself being attracted to them , I would however never in a million years want to be in a relationship with them. Does this make me Bi?
Nice video
Ahhhhh I love Dutchy sooo much she's a queen!!!!! 🌈💗😆whenever she posts my lesbian ass goes:
💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
Hi Dutchy!
This video was very informative and helpful. I wish i could subscribe but my parents are homophobic and go through my yt account so if they found out i was subbed to you they’d probably have me delete yt 🥲
Happy pride month 🏳️🌈