an update on having no friends, 3 years later | autism, relationships & mental health

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  • Опубликовано: 4 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 55

  • @DirtyHarry1899_
    @DirtyHarry1899_ 3 месяца назад +15

    Nice to hear your thoughts again. I´ve just turned 38 years old and I´m pretty much done with people to be honest. I feel just fine being alone and I think it gets easier with age. You are still very young so it´s good that you have a positive mindset about it.
    Have a great weekend! Cheers from Sweden

    • @anabell7184
      @anabell7184 3 месяца назад +1

      fellow loner here have you seen the 2023 movie Perfect Days? i can relate to it a lot as someone who loves solitude

    • @DirtyHarry1899_
      @DirtyHarry1899_ 3 месяца назад +2

      @@anabell7184 I´ve just checked the trailer out and it´s pretty funny because I work as a cleaner myself.. I´m gonna watch this movie. Thank you for the tip Anabell, much appreciated.

  • @bsatyam
    @bsatyam 2 месяца назад +4

    I was just about to comment on your earlier video that you are too young and have a lot of time to make friends. Glad to see you taking things in perspective. I personally find it easier to accept the fact that I will always be alone and still live the best life I can live. Any friends I do happen to have at any point in life is just a bonus. Not something I expect to happen.

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  2 месяца назад +1

      I agree, the more we grow into ourselves we see that everything else in life is just a bonus to cherish if we are so lucky.

  • @theboatrawker
    @theboatrawker Месяц назад +2

    I have a 17 year old daughter a lot like your story. She is an amazing, creative, intelligent, witty beautiful girl ... but friendless. A lot of it is because she can't relate to the mindset of her general pier group. I love her so much and am concerned for her long-term well being. Thanks for your video and God bless.

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  Месяц назад +2

      I’ve gotten comments from people like “you’re so [insert attribute here] why don’t you have friends?” It’s a bit hurtful because in reality despite how great someone might be at the end of the day they can still struggle immensely with social relationships. Relating with others is complicated. You sound like a thoughtful and caring parent and that will go far. :)

  • @asecretcourtofcrowsandcloc4084
    @asecretcourtofcrowsandcloc4084 3 месяца назад +5

    You speak beautifully Brie, your thoughts are both profound and clearly articulated both of which are attribute that many people lack and I for one value greatly in terms of friendships. It definitely sounds like you’ve come to invaluable insights about yourself, your relationship to others, and the things you want in life recently. I think you’re definitely right when you say that many people, I would venture to say most, can go their whole life without having inside in one of those things let alone all three and thanks very much for sharing what you learned both about yourself in the world.

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  3 месяца назад

      Wow, thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words.

  • @mrgerund3060
    @mrgerund3060 3 месяца назад +4

    feeling connected to something is so much easier than being connected with people, although the former can lead to the latter given time, that's one thing i've noticed.

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  3 месяца назад +2

      I agree with this. It’s sooo much easier to me. It’s really hard to find that in people

    • @MisconceivedPancit
      @MisconceivedPancit 3 месяца назад +4

      In my experience being friendless, there's no fake security. I find that a person majorly has to keep readjusting themselves to their friends in most cases. It's almost like......friendship polygamy.

  • @andrewritterman4685
    @andrewritterman4685 3 месяца назад +7

    Maybe take a break from romance and focus or your mental health and your happiness. I have learn that you are the only person that can make yourself happy. You get your issues together then you can have the relationship and the friendships, I wish you well Bri.

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  3 месяца назад +3

      Yeah, this is great! I will definitely be taking a break

    • @andrewritterman4685
      @andrewritterman4685 3 месяца назад

      @@brisbreathing thanks Bri.

  • @pro12222222
    @pro12222222 3 месяца назад +3

    If somebody wants to befriend with you, be grateful. I’ve always hated the fact that I can never choose my friends because I’m too reserved. But unfortunately that is not going to change. Only thing I can do is be as open and nice as possible and people will hopefully approach me and I get someone to talk to. A friend perhaps. These days, I’m not like that at all. I’m have become resentful. That takes all the possibilities for relationships away.
    You talk about love. If somebody loves you, appreciate it. I was so loved I thought I could have anyone and do better. Well I couldn’t. I don’t approach. Or speak. It’s not me. I was loved by good fate and didn’t see it was as good as it gets. Dam it was good.
    You said there’s so much life ahead of you but I beg to differ. It goes so fast. Suddenly you notice you wasted 10 years. Of course if you can’t define what’s unwasting, maybe wasting is not so bad. But for me I can see that I could have started new in some place far away and just go places and see people. Maybe I would have friends today. The good goal or wish for me would be 1 girl and 1 boy. I used to have that and it was fine. Nobody understands how hard it is to be alone all the time. It eats your guts.
    Have a great week Bri. Don’t eat too much blueberries in the forest and be more in sauna ❤

  • @stupidben999
    @stupidben999 Месяц назад +1

    I feel you. Many of us are suffering in silence without anyone giving a damn to us. It is very distressing indeed.

  • @Rick-S-6063
    @Rick-S-6063 3 месяца назад +1

    Hello! Thank you for the enlightenment you've added to Saturday afternoon!
    There are times when I'm convinced that society has run off the rails (tattoos, piercings, phone addiction, road rage) and we're headed for disaster. But then, I'll watch and listen to your latest video and I realize that progress has been made. We're able to discuss loneliness, mental issues and depression, which would have been quite taboo forty or fifty years ago. I admire you for your courage and for speaking up on sensitive topics.
    Thanks again! Hang in there and I'll be awaiting your next feature!

  • @BeatboxinCam_YT
    @BeatboxinCam_YT Месяц назад

    I feel you so much, I have autism as well and it's always been a struggle for me, thank you for letting me know I'm not the only one going through things.

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  Месяц назад +1

      It’s definitely not easy…but yes, you’re never truly alone

    • @BeatboxinCam_YT
      @BeatboxinCam_YT Месяц назад

      @@brisbreathing ❤

  • @adamwilder2943
    @adamwilder2943 3 месяца назад +3

    Well I'll be honest I did my utmost best to facilitate friendships over the decades, despite numerous failures; wherein I've become somewhat jaded

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  3 месяца назад

      It makes sense to feel that way, it’s really really difficult

  • @MisconceivedPancit
    @MisconceivedPancit 3 месяца назад +5

    42yrs old....have had friends....and that's expensive, drained my ethics, left me with awkward emptiness many times.
    Bri, if you're functioning currently friendless....that's amazing!

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  3 месяца назад +2

      It’s not ideal, but I understand what you mean when you say “awkward emptiness.” I wish we could normalize spending less money to be social 😭

    • @MisconceivedPancit
      @MisconceivedPancit 3 месяца назад +1

      @@brisbreathing a million yeses sister....a million yeses! I totally agree!

  • @relaxation1615
    @relaxation1615 Месяц назад

    I have no friends. Just people I interact at work, or school.
    I am VERY HAPPY about that. I have no problem at all, and It does not stop me to do a lot of different things in life.

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  Месяц назад

      yes, glad to hear, and time alone like that gives you so much more freedom and time to enjoy what makes you happy :)

  • @amyme4066
    @amyme4066 3 месяца назад +3

    You do have a very relaxing voice

  • @christophertaylor9332
    @christophertaylor9332 3 месяца назад +2

    I'm 50 and can relate so much to your struggles. Let me know if you want to talk.

  • @mam362
    @mam362 Месяц назад

    i myself am on the spectrum and i can relate to very much of this. I've got a PhD, a tenure-track professorship, and plenty of money, but none of that matters without friends

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  Месяц назад +1

      Funny enough, this is my career goal…
      Working has rules and is easy…friends are hard. There’s no directions to follow. As much as I want to be hopeful I’m not sure if I will ever have real friends in that way

  • @jamiedavieswright
    @jamiedavieswright Месяц назад

    I'm a 36 (nearly 37) year old dude. I have accepted that I'm probably autistic but I've never struggled for friends. I would say I speak to 20-50 people per day and the requests for social activities can get overwhelming.

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  Месяц назад +1

      Yeah it definitely isn’t the case for everyone. The autism introvert combo led me here…I guess… 😂 it’s hard out there

  • @IntelligentAtheism
    @IntelligentAtheism 2 месяца назад +1

    Powerful light is bad for your eyes over time. Take care 👍

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  2 месяца назад

      haha thank you…i try not to look directly into it. and i need those anti glare lenses 😂

  • @JoshdifferentMMA
    @JoshdifferentMMA 3 месяца назад +2

  • @thomasdoherty1434
    @thomasdoherty1434 Месяц назад

    💞🤗

  • @alkamino
    @alkamino 3 месяца назад

    What do you think would be something that would make you feel more comfortable talking to someone?

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  3 месяца назад +4

      Interesting question - I generally feel much more comfortable attempting to socialize one on one rather than in group situations.

  • @TurnerTurnip
    @TurnerTurnip 3 месяца назад +1

    You have a great speaking voice. Do you also sing?

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  3 месяца назад

      Thank you! I do, I’ve always loved singing

  • @bertrandlewis4906
    @bertrandlewis4906 3 месяца назад +2

    I'd be your friend. Youre a beautiful woman and I hope you make some friends.

  • @hp2546
    @hp2546 3 месяца назад

    When you mentioned you had a romantic relationship, that just meant it starts by focusing on that 1 person as your friend. You don't have to try too hard. You don't want to be seen as not happy with your 1 partner. It is a sign that quality is better then quantity. Whoever you build a relationship with and you connect with is your friend regardless if that friendship is platonic or romantic. So far, you classified yourself as queer. Makes no difference if you are gay or straight. Numbers is not going to mean anything. It starts by being happy with 1 partner. If you make friends just to get out of solitude life, you won't feel happy by the time you reach maximum numbers. If you decide to take a break from friendship, then take a break. If your goal is to get into a queer relationship, then be happy with that 1 person. You don't need multiple friends. If you decide to accept that girl as your romance partner, don't treat her like she is invisible. If you accept her as your friend, that should be the time to claim you have 1 friend. Not everybody can gain 1 friend. Not even a romantic partner.

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  3 месяца назад

      I agree with quality over quantity. For a long time, having a partner was enough for me and I was comfortable and happy. The only issue with having no friends outside of a romantic relationship is that many times relationships end. Then it can be really difficult to get by if you have 0 other support or relationships while you are going through something very difficult. That’s why I think it’s important to try to find community

  • @ep6606
    @ep6606 Месяц назад

    Actually autistic here

  • @thatwasprettyneat
    @thatwasprettyneat 3 месяца назад +8

    The reason you've always been in a relationship is because you're an attractive young woman. This problem doesn't occur for guys.

    • @drewdevon2009
      @drewdevon2009 3 месяца назад

      and cause shes needy and puts up with guys that treat her bad. girls that are never single is a red flag

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  Месяц назад

      nice try im gay 🤣

    • @randomjunk8364
      @randomjunk8364 19 дней назад

      @@brisbreathingthere’s your answer. Statistics say lesbos have the most breakups and violent relationships.

  • @radio_nowhere
    @radio_nowhere Месяц назад

    Someone classifies you autistic and you took it at face value? Please go on your journey and then see if that assertion is true. Most doctors and psychologists have a need to put you in a box. Doesn't mean you actually fit in that box.

    • @brisbreathing
      @brisbreathing  Месяц назад

      Diagnosing autism is a complex process which I have undergone and autism is often genetic. I am not the only neurodivergent person in my family and you cannot “see” autism especially from watching curated content a person posts on the internet. Women are and have always been autistic. Society is just taking a long time to catch up with that.

    • @radio_nowhere
      @radio_nowhere Месяц назад

      @@brisbreathing I see. I am not telling that to my wife but I believe you based on my mom's and wife's decision making capabilities.