We Are Lonely. We Crave Community.
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- Опубликовано: 28 июн 2024
- In response to an apparent collective sentiment of alienation and loneliness across social media, people keep calling for 'collectivism' to solve this condition, which is commonly attributed to 'individualism.' Is this dichotomy overly simplified? Is the problem a lack of community, or are there deeper issues at play causing our feelings of disconnection?
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edited by danae o.!
Bibliography
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00:00 introduction
03:31 'humans are social animals'
09:12 the problem with community
13:48 the problem with individualism
19:40 conclusion: imperfections, compromises, sacrifices 
Развлечения
author’s note: i sincerely hope nobody thinks i am saying that human connection is not good! human connection is super good! please connect with human beings!!!
Mi ñero latino. Saludos.
Haha, good one Elliot, but I'm gonna skip on this last part and stay with my cats for the rest of my life, because they don't suck!
Do not forget to connect to nature by touching some grass.
please change the clickbait title lol
I will not
I grew a lot the day I realized that "friend group" and "community" were NOT the same thing. I was very socially isolated as a kid, and I had this idealized notion of a group of people who all liked each other and hung out all the time. I also learned through the internet and my leftist friends in college that anyone you didnt like was someone you could and/or should avoid interacting with.
But I've since learned that life is a lot more complicated than that. Being a part of a community means being willing to meet people where they are, not where you want them to be. It means speaking your truth and listening when someone else speaks their truth. It means arguing, and compromising. Some communities are not worth being in, and some are. But none of them are filled only with people you like or fully agree with.
My generation is used to a "For You" page where everything is what you want to see and hear, but people aren't like that. They will say things you don't want to hear. Talking with them is awkward and sometimes uncomfortable. But there's so much value in that. You learn from people that way. They impact you, what you think and how you feel. Sometimes I think that for all we talk about loneliness, the thing we are missing most is that fundamental sense of push and pull, of actually engaging with other individuals instead of constantly battling systems so much bigger than us.
Thank you. I live in a county with a large rural area, and am in the midst of explaining to people from one faith tradition that they are not the only ones here.
100%
sooooo true
Yes! Thank you! I wanna be able to engage with anyone, even if I disagree with their opinions!
All of this. Emphatically.
Title is exactly what I think about everyday. The lack of true, easily accessible Third Place areas in US has been socially devastating for all its citizens.
changed the title a bit because i realized i went in a bit of a different direction and would like to address lack of third place areas in a different video
Suburbia concrete jungle hell not good enuf for ya?
On a serious note, it is depressing.
i dont go to school or work because of debilitating mental health issues. i try to go out on walks when i have the energy/motivation. but its like i only was able to make friends in school because we were basically forced to be near each other. now that i dont have that mandated proximity to other ppl i feel like im just completely disconnected. like i truly have no idea how to connect with ppl irl anymore. ill go walk around and just like be pining for a life i dont have and its just depressing. ik i dont want to go to college or work, and i have the privilege not to, but i still get like fomo thinking abt the life i could have had if i wasnt so sensitive or whatever...
idek what the solution is, or why i started writing this... im just venting, but ill stop now, i think yall get the point
uhh you ever heard of Starbucks?
@@kwastimus have you ever heard of poverty?
I think loneliness and individuality in adulthood is why a lot of people force themselves to find a partner, get married and have kids. Our society makes it "weird" or at the very least difficult to maintain friendships as single working adults. People assume your job is your lover. So parents finally are "allowed" to be friends with other parents, but rarely ever single adults who are seen as a threat to the family unit or married couple, outsiders.
yeah, I agree with you. In the end of the day, everyone is scary of being lonely.
I found the life of a “single working adult” Was the time that most folks make or maintain friendships and pursue hobbies. Upon entering a relationship is when those things started to dissipate…
@@princesadebelhell as a single male , i been through it , even had people get legit mad if i went out if i dated or met someone "outside of our area" they didnt care that they never see me, or hang out with me and make me feel alone despite surrounded by people , i just couldnt leave the herd....i had to move away from it , and i noticed im not the only one whos dealt with this
this notion that "well we always been tribal" as a defense and as if thats a good thing
What about nonworking single adults? Disabled individuals?
Additional layers of exclusion and erasure.
@@Talentedtadpole I wish that famous youtubers were speaking up about this. The way that disabled people (not only physical but mental) and even old people are excluded from public spaces and society is awful. I did not realize this and was so arrogant before having my health go worse but now I'm wondering how I was so oblivious all of the time.
Haven't seen anyone else in 5 years, 22 years of general isolation due to panic disorder. No car and live in a rural area in the middle of nowhere. Loneliness is hell.
But I still find some happiness by doing whatever little thing I can to make someone else happy. Even if thats just leaving comments and likes. It sounds dumb but it helps me feel a little better about who I am I guess
Thank you for sharing 😌you have my compassion and support 🌼💛🌼
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. They make me feel a little less lonely. And wanting to make others happy does not sound dumb to me at all!
I know how you feel when you say “it sounds dumb”. I have been in similar situation since my father became disabled and I graduated uni, I am his caretaker now and rarely leave home, on top of that my friends left me, because my life became to depressive for them. I too get my interactions from comments and it sounds totally pathetic to admit that also to admit that you don’t have any friends.
If you were to start making RUclips videos about your life and how you survive so remotely, I would definitely follow and watch. Could be a nice way for you to continue to brighten peoples’ day and get some human connection for you too. Wish you well ❤
Damn and I thought my solitude was extreme. I'm glad you're able to find joy in some of the little things.
there needs to be a distinction between communities for societal change and community for happiness and support of individuals.
yeah I went in this video thinking it was gonna be about alienation
it wasn’t
Well put
Is there really a difference? All meaningful societal change I can think of would be largely done for the happiness and support of individuals.
@@yamitrap9688Yes. Communities for societal change would be organized labor, a workers party. If you make friends, that’s great, but that’s not necessarily the goal. It’s meant to fight for workers freedom. Tho of course, like sports teams and other group activities geared around a specific goal, you’ll eventually befriend people. And the other communities would be for general living, no specific goal in mind aside from leaving in harmony with each other, hanging out, helping out each other, etc
This.
I would like to also add that there must be a distinction between "sum of individuals" communities and "communal/coordinated" communities.
All the bad characteristics of communities shown in this video belong to one of these kinds, and all the good characteristics belong to the other. Can you guess which is which?
For me it was definitely lockdown that flipped a switch in my head. I went from being a complete introvert who craved being alone to someone who just can’t handle being alone for long periods of time, I crave being around other people. Social interaction is the only thing that keeps my loneliness at bay.
+
Same! I think a lot of people are seeking connection right now which is great because it makes it easier to be vulnerable and put myself out there. I'm making new friends for the first time in forever and it's hard, scary, cringey and wonderful all at once 😅
Yeah for me it helped me break out of my shell, I still would consider myself an introvert but now I go out in the world much more often, I love exploring my surroundings and just being around people, even if I’m not directly interacting with them it makes me happy. To me that is a big part of what a community is, just enjoying a shared space
I can’t stand texting and facetime as much as I used to after Covid, I want to see everyone in person!!
The same thing happened to me. I’m so used to wanting to be alone but when I am I suffer
I've been craving a feeling of "belonging" so much these days. I was raised in a toxic Southern Baptist church community that provided me belonging, but only if I did and acted a very specific way. Because of this, I am scared of "collectives" and "communities" but crave the feeling of belonging that the church used to give me. I feel like there is a huge void that organized religions filled for so long that is falling away in society. That being said I think most religions don't have their members best interests in mind so it's a good thing that they are falling out of fashion. I wish there was something like church that wasn't church.
Closest thing I've found is sports and D&D
Same with Islam. Your biggest supporters are also the ones who beat you up most if you don't follow the herd.
I am in the same boat. Church can be such an amazing built-in community/resource, but only if you adhere to their ideology. I'm so lonely these days after leaving my church/friends. I've grown immensely in my faith, but I deeply desire friendship and community.
Denominational churches can be spiritually abusive, you don't have to adhere to the ceremonial traditions of denominational churches. I was raised through church, but I've found balance from taking that philosophy and theology and expanding upon that with avid creative, critical and analytical thinking.
Have you heard of Lutherans, methodists and Presbyterians?
Abraham was a con artist
When a group is centered around one thing, that thing is more important than any of its members. They don't care about you, they just want more people to make them feel good about themselves. The relationships are shallow and not about you - only about a message. If you don't think so just ask yourself what you can't say or risk getting ostracized.
Wish I could frame this comment. The problem is everybody is afraid of that ostracization and so nobody is comfortable being themselves. So nobody really trusts each other which just makes it even harder to form real connections.
This was very well spoken 💜
Depends on the group. Some groups celebrate diversity within a broader identity while others don't allow any. And If you see that happening , ask yourself WHY.
@@Iquey every community has people they consider “true comrades” and traitors. So I doubt that.
School be kinda like that sometimes. Like, I really thought that the concept of popular and impopular people in school was a fictional thing, something you only saw in movies. But you end up noticing the difference in treatment and being "part of the group" depending on your identity and actions. I'm sure if I and some other people in my school went to parties more and did drugs, or at the very least we tried to exist in that ambient, we would feel more welcomed. I already tried it and it worked, until I realize that I did not want to sorround myself with that type of people and things. Maybe I'll never feel part of my school's community 100%, but I can still search for smaller communities within it, because even if they are hard to find, I know there is good people out there.
Idk, I also feel a bit to judgemental of others sometimes. But this is the point that I'm at. Maybe I should accept them and myself a bit more, but reality is that I'm still working on that.
Such a complex topic. We really lose so much when we focus exclusively on collective identity vs collective action. Gave me a ton to think about!
I agree
Its not complex at all! Lets just get rid of capitalism!
It’s been so lonely recently, and I know I’m not alone typically in the western world, there’s no community anywhere, even work/college is just a place where people go get an education but doesn’t seem like people are even open to making friends, can’t find any long term friendships or nothing anymore…
Hey was it different in school though? In my experience it was but now the world just looks so alien idk.
@@jashnchahal7544 yeah tbh I’ve been out of school for like 2+ years now and it wasn’t like that tbh, I had friends in school and felt a sense of belonging somewhere but now present day, I’m basically on my own these days, and it’s such a drastic change from how my life was pre-pandemic.
yep I really feel this
Wanna hear something worse? Not even people online want to play with you anymore , I kid you not , recently I’ve been joining lobby’s in multiple games , and most of the time I get kicked out at arrival , not even talking , not even annoying them , it’s pretty sad , makes you feel like people don’t wanna meet you anywhere
@@IsureamFalling blame the fear-mongering that our country’s media promotes
I literally blame capitalism for promoting too much hyper individualism and social alienation
Everything feels like a damn competition even though I thought we were suppose to work together
But hey dude your boy the only one going through this weird situation
Good stuff. I believe you are right that loneliness is not just due to lack of social bonds but lack of shared purpose. Lack of shared goals that make us feel like we are connected to something bigger than ourselves. And the dangers of a desperate need to belong that come from loneliness are real too. Rutger Bregman makes a good point in his book "Humankind - A Hopeful History" that yes - humans are deeply cooperative and that made us so "successful" as a species. But ironically, what made harmful groups (like Nazi Germany for example) effectively aggressive towards others was the strong bond that the in-group shared. Us vs Them.
I myself have lived in a collective of 40 people with shared interests for several years. And yes, it has helped me to feel less lonely sometimes. Seen and understood other times. It helped me to feel like I have agency and a direct, meaningful impact on other peoples lives. But I also often felt alienated, misunderstood, conflicted and even lonely. Community is truly difficult. And a feeling of belonging can only occur if people see and accept you for who you truly are and share goals around similar values. But that is a lot to ask too. What helps me now is to not expect one community to fulfill all of my needs or wishes and to accept that sometimes I have to go through things on my own.
I still understand why people emphasize the importance of community though. When I talk to people of how we could live together after capitalism, the most common answer I still get is that only capitalism can work. Because they believe people to be inherently selfish. I believe it is the other way around. Capitalism brings out this selfishness in people, even though it is only one part of our potential.
Ok that comment became longer than I thought, ok, bye!
Gee man, even this video has proven to you that "selfishness" is biologically engrained, and you still follow this monocausal infrastructural point of view. The way we think isn't a result of whichever system we happen to live in; it's the opposite; the way we think gives birth to the system, and this is, again, a result of evolutionary biology. All social structures and institutions, as good or bad as you may see them, are absolutely coherent with human nature.
That's one thing. The other thing is "capitalism." This system stands merely for investing resources into the production of material goods and services*, the production of valuable things that you trade for other valuable things in a process where both parties benefit. For Marx, however, this is pure evilness. Why? He believed in Adam Smith's Labor-Value Theory: if value comes from labor, then workers not getting the surplus value of the product meant they were exploited. But the thing is, value doesn't come from labor, and you can't state otherwise in a world where a girl makes millions selling her bathwater and photos. Plus, there's the concept of value over time; it's better to get $10000 right away than $20,000 in the next few decades, and that has nothing to do with labor. A sculpture shaped as your original character isn't as valuable as one of a famous character, which has nothing to do with labor. If you're a guy starving in an isolated place, you could pay a lot for a can of beans. A hand-made Victorian chair isn't more valuable than its raw materials if it's used to fuel a fire during a war. There are profitable companies whose products have a "negative surplus value," and I doubt communism would advocate for workers paying back to capitalists...
And let's not touch "anarchism," which, *spoilers*: is filled with contradictions as well.
*Marx didn't even consider the development of a service industry, and he didn't consider intellectual work as part of the proletariat.
ive found that in urbanism
The Union Buster consultant reveal was so well done, I let out an audible "oh my god..."
I was unprepared for that plot twist, but it makes so much sense after you know
GOD DAMN SO TRUE
when i was younger and more naive, i set out to build community, and i found that building community is hard, thankless work. i also thought that bringing ppl around would somehow result in friends that i could rely on and i was equally wrong on that front lol
This is so true lol
Yes
@@Grace-jb7meindeed it is
Loneliness, I think, is more a product of not being understood or accepted, not a lack of interaction. A "community", ultimately, isn't going to be able to resolve that, because the group is too large to allow for such a level of understanding, and because the focus on a particular goal tends to get in the way of it. Such understanding is far more likely to come from interpersonal relationships. However, there does seem to be a tendency in many communities towards a sort of ideological hegemony and conformism; For instance, the tendency of the LGBT community towards assimilation into the institution of the nuclear family, and a hostility towards people who reject or lack interest in that institution. That sort of tendency can greatly exacerbate loneliness.
I was thinking the same. I'm autistic so every single community I've been part of made me feel alien and alone because we couldn't relate to each other, not because we weren't interacting with each other. Then I got into the online autistic community, made autistic friends and realized that while I felt less lonely in my struggles as an autistic person, we didn't necessareily all shared the same opinions and interests either, so I felt lonely in a different way. That was the point I realized that the feeling of loneliness has little to do with how much you interact with others, and that there will always be something to feel lonely about. We are always different in some way, and focussing on avoiding those differences ironically makes us forget what we had in common in the first place and makes us even more lonely.
The hegemonic pressure that fosters pick me LGBT+ behavior really sucks, and leads to bozos like Rave Duebin, but the "nuclear family" phrase is key and we should take care to make sure it's held distinct from wanting to have children.
In my experience, the child-free to aspiring parent ratio is pretty similar, straights vs LGBT+ folks. However, queer people experience a hideous array of legal, financial, and social challenges in their quests for parenthood that the straights just don't (typically) content with. We need to be clear that nuclear conformity is distinct from wanting kids so we can protect LGBT+ folks yearning for parenthood who are facing a new wave of all too familiar smears and hateful lies.
Regardless, it takes a village and the "nuclear" model ain't it.
and also; no one caring to understand. and i get what you are saying about the LGBT community.
@@micheller3251 So our goal shouldn't be eradicating loneliness. It should be accepting that loneliness is a normal state that occurs because we can only connect with others so much and a degree of loneliness is necessarily a part of life.
You nailed it. I think this perspective tends to get ignored when we talk about this issue.
i never wanted to become an isolated teenage girl but here i am, almost 19. i feel so lonely, i just want to find a community where i feel seen and appreciated. this video helped me realised more stuff and be more knowledgable about them. i think the reason i want to find a friendly community is bc i want to make people enjoy my company and vice verse, just have a happy vibe, experience. i truly wish that this happens soon for me
I’m also 19, in a similar situation. Currently having a gap year between high school and uni because I didn’t get in; studying for the exams by myself. I’m planning on getting a job (preferably as a barista) in the summer and hopefully eventually get into uni. I’m hopeful and I wish good luck to you and others like us!! :D
I’m also 19 and female. Literally have no social life to where my mum even began to notice how I don’t leave my room. Lol :’)
Same 19. Going to school part time left my job bcos of the loneliness, anxiety and depression. If you ever wanna vent, feel free to reach out.
As I read these comments as a man!
I honestly am surprised 😮 women coming up aren't as social! Granted you guys live in the online world and men like myself at 35 DONT have purpose to use social media hence I don't have no apps except RUclips.
It's interesting to see social media was literally made to connect and yet women overall turned it into something completely different thus affecting women themselves.
As a man we are ALWAYS lonely since the world ALREADY treat men like shit! 😂
It's so sad for example before social media I would approach women 15-20 within two weeks and my goal was to meet and literally have conversations, some would be wonderful and even turn into a date!
And since I'm ugly 🤭 I had to work on my fear of rejection because being a man ISN'T easy!!
And nowadays I WOULDN'T dare approaching a woman in 2023!! HELL FUCK NO!
@@aim-for-greatn3z947 Strange comment
If you think about what’s actually happening it’s pretty sad. People do a lot more of their daily communication through the phone or apps. Your brain doesn’t register that as human contact. Imagine not getting out as much and not getting meaningful contact. Meanwhile, you are also getting hit with dopamine from every angle. You also get online and argue with people all day which feeds into your anxiety. Then you compare your life to curated lives on social media. Now hold on to the wheel, because of the phone and the way things are today you are an isolated mentally ill drug addict with fomo. Couple that with covid and the myriad of issues going on at once and you have a recipe for disaster.
Even video-calls feel completely unpersonal. It's better than nothing of course, but it does not compare at all with hanging out irl.
Nobody wants to hang out anymore. Everyone just wants to text. I had a friend and she would never hangout with me or even try to, I would always be the one to ask. She ditched me bc I told her I feel alone and that I want to hangout more. She did not take it well. Fucking hate how its becoming normal to only text and not hangout irl
The crazy thing is, women hold the key socializing.
Since 99% of social media is used by women it cause these separation.
And as a 35 year old back in the day before social media the way I would meet people was literally attending networking/business events and literally cold approaching women in person.
These time were awesome! I learned how nice and horrible women truly are and honestly EVEN with all the negative, I WOULDN'T DARE APPROACHING a woman in person in 2023 even if it's for a simple conversation.
@@beamerboy420 I am in your same position
@@GravitateCarentibus stay strong, we're not alone in this
I’m glad I’m not the only experiencing this but I fr can’t take ts anymore. I sit home all day hoping someone would text or call me but I can’t seem to make the effort to do it myself. And when I occasionally get the courage to text first I’ll get left on seen or delivered. ever since lockdown I js feel like I’ve lost all of my social skills. Everywhere I go I never really feel like I belong, I always stray away from the group maybe with one or two people I actually enjoy talking to. And then I still feel like my friends don’t like me or I’m too this or too that. In a way it’s also my fault tho bc the few ppl who actually do reach out to me I tend to push away assuming they already hate me
Solarpunk is also about the "us all", the human race as a nice living tissue by simply being honest always and loving all lifeforms, a simple path but hard to follow if it's a social counterflow. Social and power structures fed on hypocrisy cause us all to despair.
I see the problems in my communities, we often gather around content creators & *sigh* it sucks. It's...complicated, cuz I know that's not the only reason we're together but there's definitely a hierarchy? But yes, it is good to remember that community isn't all sunshine & rainbows. Thank you for this video 🌸
This really put everything in words I feel like about community and individualism .
Specially when u r marginalised in multiple way it's very difficult to exist in community and you get ostracised, in the communities you are already in and can't escape.
So whenever individualisation is diagnosed as root of mental health issues and making community is given as main solution is presented as solution I always feel iky but don't know how to put it cause it feels right in many ways. Thanks for putting it in words so effectively. 💜
Just a reminder! here's also a difference between experiencing loneliness and being alone. Being “alone” is a physical state where you are physically by yourself. Being “lonely” is an emotional state where you are feeling alone or disconnected from others.
Some thoughts on this video :) I used to absolutely hate being alone. My background made it difficult to fit into the so-called "communities" that I was trying so hard to fit in and overcompensating because I thought the problem was within myself. I thought it was MY fault that I couldn't fit in, especially after the barrage of TED talks, self help books, and Instagram posts that told me that I could fix all my problems with stocism and regulating the self. I also used to be the "I am not like other girls" girl asdjmkfljaldf as a way to set myself apart from the standards of society and seem more individualistic that I seem.
Over time, I realized that part of the beauty in life is the fact that we don't need to perfectly fit into a community. There isn't a definition of a "perfect self" or a self that isn't affected by the people around you. It's beautiful how people can impact us and how we can impact others too.
Humans have the inclination to see things as "black or white", "all-in or all-out". Yet, life isn't perfect. Communities and society is created by imperfect human beings with flaws. While it is easy to imagine a perfect utopian society, we always have to remember the complexity of being a human and the beauty of the uncertainty. There's no perfect answer to things and balance is so underrated sometimes :))
There is no perfect, but there is better
thank you for continuously touching on topics in a nuanced manner and making us think critically about the things and ideas we accept simply because they are shared and repeated by people we trust. this idea of collectivism being the answer to all my problems has been thrown in my face for years now and it's so refreshing to see someone else talk about how unrealistic that can be for some. in my case, i've realised that i'm looking for "community", not to necessarily build my identity around it, but as a way to find /people/ i can build real connections with. the community isn't the goal, it's the means to an end. i know how i work and what i like. all i truly need, at least right now, is a few people i can count on and can feel useful for. i think that if we all had that safety net, surviving in communities that might not be the best would be a lot easier.
"Loneliness can be understood as a discontent with your social functioning" is such a great way of defining it, thanks for that piece of wisdom!!!
Scott M Peck uses the term "pseudo community" to talk about collectives of people who haven't yet worked through the messy stages of trust-building. I've found it a useful distinction.
I am lonely. I have no friends especially being online schooled forced by my parents since Covid. Even before that I had no true friends I also had to conform to ideals of what people wanted to be in the school environment. We value community because it’s natural in us humans. Even the most introverted person on earth will glady share their company with a person who they deem worth of it. Think about this why do people in school make fun of kids who can’t make friends. They call them weird or they must be something wrong with you. We all desire community and connections. Why do we always seek influencial figures? Why do we seek characters to relate to? Why do we seek advice from people similar to us? Because humans are social animals. Every now and then even when I accept being alone I always find myself going on discord seeking friendships subconsciously but I always fail because it’s hard to find friends that don’t have similar interest and who are not racist. so I am just used to being alone personally
keep your standards raised and stay with yourself until you find someone who isn't harmful to you and whom you can vibe with, it's better than accepting anyone just to cure loneliness, i promise
I went to a Christian college (no longer a Christian now btw) that really emphasized “intentional community”. It was a dry (sober/no drinking) campus with lots of on-campus events and most students lived on campus so there were tons of opportunities to socialize with other students. I quickly found good friends (people that I’m still friends with today) that I eventually was seeing and hanging out with just about every single day. I had an absolute blast with my friends and other associates at the school and would never find myself lonely. If anything, as an introvert I had to seek time away from people to stay sane lol.
After I graduated I moved back home, away from all my friends, who then scattered across the country over the years. It’s been almost 6 years since I graduated and I still miss that sense of community I had back then. I haven’t made friends since moving back home, except for my partner. I recognize that loneliness does kill (like the longitudinal Harvard study that found it shortens one life) and that I always feel happier and even energized after a meaningful interaction with others, so I’ve continually sought out community and am intentional about maintaining my relationships with people.
I like that you are talking about the nuance of community and how it’s not always a good thing. Christianity has a community that caused me a lot of harm and I’m no longer a part of that community. However I think the key to a happy life is a *balance* of being your individual self and being a part of something bigger than you that allows you to connect with others in a meaningful way. I also believe that some tasks are too big to accomplish alone, like addressing climate change. Climate change gives me a lot of anxiety and changing my individual habits only goes so far. That’s why I’ve joined local organizations that protect and restore natural habitats in my area and I hope to one day work in the field of environmentalism or agriculture or conservation.
I definitely have a more realistic idea of community, because yeah people will still suck or be annoying or whatever even in the best community. Still, community is important because it recognizes that we’re all one and whether we like it or not, we’re all in this life on Earth shit together. We’re undeniably interconnected and few of us could survive completely alone.
All this to say, individuality seems to be the default for modern life now and we lean too heavily into it, so I think community does need to be revived for many of us. Again there should be a balance and there just isn’t balance between them now.
Individuality is NOT the default for modern life, but it IS the default for capitalism. We must destroy capitalism to become free. This is the most 'unfree' economic system ever devised, that is creating this toxic individualism.
i have a lot of trust issues from past experiences with friends/partners, that's why appreciate you talking about how communities work and how people can try to manipulate peoples desires.
🔥🔥🔥"community is hard and other people suck sometimes" omg YESSSSSS
I lived with my coworkers for 3 years while doing non profit work 💀💀💀 and am living in a house with 5 others now. I am grateful for housing and the people I've met, but it was hard and I don't speak to some of them anymore
I am always noticing how many issues in "western" society comes back to, boils down to, or is only made possible by our Addiction to Individualism™
Definitely IndividualismTM rather than individuality.
did you even watch the video
And adicttionS
I do think that the individualized nature of the capatilist system that we live under does have some role in alienating people from community and other people. If we did live in a system in which we worked together in deciding how we organize the means of production I do feel as if people would be more in touch with community. The base and superstructure describes exactly how this type of thing occurs, with the means of production and relations of production shaping and maintaining everything not directly to do with production.
Capitalism doesn’t care how things are only how they look - I think that fundamentally separates us. You must fit the narrative or face rejection from society so we all live in this liminal hellscape of appearances not really fitting in together but pretending we do.
Capitalism is not the reason why, the few s plenty of capitalist countries where this isn’t a problem, it’s a consequence of 20th century western political ideals, which are the reason why you’re saying it’s capitalism’s fault
@Kenos capitalism inevitably becomes corrupt like this - it happened in ancient Greece too among others, humans have been running this grift for ages.
@@041101213 are you claiming Ancient Greece is… capitalistic LMAOOO
also it happened in every single civilization since so
@Kenos yes bruv they were very much like the US today: the elites, a merchant class and slaves. They fell over burdened by debt and political unrest.
So you're cool we keep repeating the sane idiocy? Like what's wrong with u haha
You're take on this subject is spot on. The only problem I have is you distilled community as this tangible thing that people take part in when most of the time in any community you don't have a physical interaction with people. You say it's in human nature to do solo things but the only way they have the ability or money to solo anything is from a community or the exploitation of.
Your take is very negative and reductive to helping people connect to ANY community. You pointed out multiple times how communities are lame or ineffective but just a minute on collective bargaining. I don't think you ment this but it's how you formatted it.
This was honestly one of the freshest and most original takes I’ve ever seen on this topic. Thank you for taking the time to bring us this perspective.
I struggle with this so much! After you graduate high school and college, there are no community spaces except churches or bars. I find myself missing high school and college because there were sports and clubs and we were all going through similar things at the same time. I'm no longer in any type of school, I'm not religious and I don't drink, so where am I supposed to have a community? I've been relying on work for community, but my coworkers don't really want to hang out, outside of work. So what then? How do you find community?
Ex church girl to alcoholic pipeline represent! 😂
Possibly the library, like a book club? Or maybe some clinics have group therapy.
@@reckless3217 I was thinking maybe signing up for a class of some kind.
Have you considered joining some kind of gym? Training for a marathon with other people, joining a boxing gym, or indoor rock climbing maybe
I try online social spaces but they don’t hit.
This is interesting. I don't think I've ever experienced loneliness in my life. I've missed people ( absence makes the heart grow fonder) and I've felt dread that I was missing out on experiences but never loneliness. I absolutely love being alone. It's to an unhealthy degree. I enjoy it so much that it drives me mad with ecstasy and then insanity ( humans are social creatures afterall). I don't hate other people, I just think their not worth the effort. I'm pretty okay at interacting with others when the moment calls for it but I'd never go out of my way to interact.
Wow…
quite jealous actually... this was me pre-pandemic. now i'm needy af
it's really sad what's happening lately .
Because i go to college and I study all day and talk to absolutely no one , i have 0 friends and i crave talking to real life people so badly.
But i just Go home and spend the rest of my day on RUclips , Twitter, Tiktok.
There needs to be a study done on University loneliness! Because this is far too common.
i find it helpful to see "individualism" and "collectivism" as a false dichotomy or a non-binary.
love the vid!
Maybe also like a yin yang kinda thing, sometimes one is more central than the other, but both are always contained in the other and affect eachother in profound ways.
This is a good point! i took a social psych class in college and we all took a individualist/ collectivist test and the scoring was totally separate so your score could potentially be 100% collectivist and 100% individualist at the same time. which was cool because it's not like you can't have both individual ideals and collective ideals
@@youarenotalion Do you have a link, or was it specifically available for students only?
@@KarlSnarks I tried looking at my old notes to see if it was in there with no luck but after some research I think it may have been the Self-Construal Scale, or something similar. The terms it uses are independent vs interdependent, not individual Vs collective, but as far as i understand, they're similar concepts! sparqtools.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Self-Construal-Scale.pdf
@@youarenotalion"Collective" ideals are individually based. Even if you're willing to sacrifice your life for others, it would be a result of your individual decisions. You do things for *your* family, *your* friends, *your* country, and so on... following your own ideals and convictions, which are the result of your individual experience.
A lot of socializing for me is navigating the confusing and contradictory expectations of other people. You plan something out with someone they can’t make it to the meet up. You never speak with them again. I feel the desire to just emotionally enmesh with someone else and never have a thought of my own again.
I watched the documentary 'The social dilemma' on Netflix and God it was so eye opening.
I didn't realise that how Social media traps us in our own little virtual bubble and is particularly curated to suit our own taste. This thing is what makes it so damn addicting. Even though always try to control Social media more than it controls me, that still doesn't make it less addictive
We end up forming opinions and beliefs based on that and unfortunately, when we aren't aware of this, we tend to minimise the view of others.
This is suuch a good video. I'm from a collectivist culture in a collectivist (African) country and I've noted the criticism a lot of people in Western countries, mainly the US, of the individualist mindset. I've read about individualism's many downsides and agreed with many points made. I understand that the West has exported this cultural attitude through colonialism. It's done real damage to us in other parts of the world.
But I've always felt that collectivist cultures have issues in themselves. The way that many collectivist cultures treat family, gender, conformity, marriage, status. The scripts around roles: children and elders, men and women, even an individual's life choices. These aren't always issues imposed on us by colonisation, some are problems because of how our cultural values translate into everyday life. There are real critiques to be made of collectivism and it's prioritisation of the group over the individual.
I've always felt kind of vague about what made me uncomfortable about the collectivist vs individualist debate. This video helped me understand why. Especially when you said that the experience of being a collectivist depends on how good the collective is. I'm also queer and I think this also explains why the LGBTQIA+ community can be plagued by infighting, toxic drama and pettiness. While I love my people and culture (the gays and Africans lol), we've been through these traumatic experiences of marginalisation. I really believe that our communities are formed of some of the most traumatised people in society doing the best they can to get by in a world that's particularly cruel to them. So, it makes sense that being in community with these people would sometimes test me; I'm probably an equal challenge for them.
Thank you Elliot!
I really needed this. Not sure why you made this video at the exact right time, but its good to know im not the only person feeling lonely. I think a key thing you didn't touch on in this video is that no one actually has time or energy to go make communities. People have mentally straining jobs and social interaction is gonna drain them and they wont perform well at work bc its so demanding. Im at school and have hit yr 11 and christ, i cannot handle wasting one afternoon (that wasn't intentional, but the way i said "wasting" really says something). I would love to but i'm also terrified of getting bad grades, bad jobs, bad pay, and being abandoned for being a burden and worthless and dying from starvation idk. Capitalism is a bitch seems to be the reason for all my problems. Hope u read this. :)
Your analyses are incredibly crafted and well-thought-out. I'm so glad I stumbled upon your channel.
1. I love your outfit
2. I really appreciate your honest, rigorous, and critical takes on what is often simplified in "discourse"
3. Duke University Press has their Spring Sale right now, 50% off everything. I think you'd have a field day with some of their texts, lots of Sociology texts on sale
Happy Spring, Elliot!
I literally can't wait, your videos are very well articulated and captivating! Thank you for putting in all the time and energy you do into your content
This conversation can be easily simplified. All places need both individualism and collectivism to thrive. It’s not that community or collectivism will solve the sense of loneliness or is a solution to solving our issues today. It’s that we’ve moved to one extreme which has resulted in hyper-individualism.
Community should inherently be purpose driven, and that’s what I think the noise is about - we need a community of people that share our values and interests. I don’t necessarily agree that the term “community” is being used losely, because in most cases when people say community they are referring to like-mindedness and well-meaning, supportive communities.
Tbh I think that authentic wholesomeness can be an indicator of healthy effectiveness.
Holy moly, I looove this video
Simply joining some sort of community (whatever it is) can't be a universal answer when it comes to reducing loneliness in differents forms, it's not as easy as the media and so-called online experts keep saying
Thanks a million for talking about such a controversial topic
25:06
People who are lonely and so join a community that sucks… what they are at risk for is losing hope, losing faith in the belief that they will not always be alone.
For the vast majority of people exercise, a pet, or getting in tune with the self all only go so far- those are small things that can soothe the stings of loneliness.
I think you’re missing some perspective- you’ve spoken a lot throughout this video and communities coming together and forming around a certain goal but.. the general, most valuable goal of a community is for those in the community to functionally care for one another.
Think less about a protest, pta or union busting and more about who brings you soup when you’re sick, someone to watch your dog when you’re away- who comes to your house to do make sure your laundry gets done when someone you love dies?
It’s those things that assuage loneliness, general socializing will never compare
Even if you’re socializing around some commons goal - you’re building a parade float together the folks you see every week when you volunteer at a soup kitchen.
Familiar faces warm the heart but they don’t ease that inner anxiety of who will take care of me when I’m alone? Will anyone show up for me when I am in need?
I appreciate you prompting me to think today, have a good one
I know this sounds really weird, and I’m rambling here about fiction, but I think this is basically the topic of The Mandalorian this season lol. I’m writing this meta that probably sounds insane to a lot of people but I’m a believer in the collective unconscious showing up in our myths and stories. I think that’s something happening here. If we have something that breaks away from the American mono-myth it’s a step in the right direction Imo. This makes no sense if you don’t watch the show, but that being said, this is how I think that story connects to this topic:
Bo-Katan is lonely and ends up joining a “cult”. She does so because she wants community. But it’s obvious to the viewers that this community is not balanced, they don’t eat together, they can’t take off their helmets. It’s a community built on following rules and have forgotten that rules are there for people, not the inverse. People are what matter, not the rules. At some point things need to change, but their commitment to their community as they know it has stopped them from adapting and modernizing. Maybe at one point keeping the helmet on served them by keeping them safe, but it’s no longer necessary. It’s restrictive (and metaphorical for repressing emotion). So now Bo has entered a community to heal her loneliness but it’s not going to solve her depression because all this community is doing is remaining stagnant. There are several factions of mandalorians all over the galaxy, all doing the same thing. None of them are really serving themselves any more though. It’s just being in the faction for the sake of it at this point. But that’s better than arguing and fighting your own kind who happen to think differently, right? Except it’s not. They need to come together, find common ground, and work through uncomfortable realities if they want to transform themselves and their situations. They need to take back their home planet and recontexualize what it means to be a mandalorian. Individuals have to decide what they want more - to stay as they are, or transform. That, I think, is where the season is going. To reunite people and community even though it’s unpleasant for a greater purpose. Dealing with that friction for something more. To not let politicians - the empire, the new republic - make them think they have no power and that only the elites can bring order and happiness. The rich and powerful want the status quo, but the people want change.
Anyway, if anyone read my weird SW ramble, this is all to say, community can force us to face our shadows. It can make us uncomfortable. But sometimes failure and adversity is the best way to create meaningful change. There is balance though. We need time as individuals to reflect and think about what we want too. Life is about doing internal and external work. It works together. It is constant deaths and rebirths. You have to accept the parts of yourself you don’t like. You can’t kill it or ignore it or it will show up in other ways. The alternative is stagnation. You’re “comfortable” but you’re always hungry; you’re always craving. Capitalism in many ways wants this. They want us always consuming. (And yes I see the irony in a Disney show discussing this lol).
awesome
I’m loving your channel more every day. Thanks for the amazing essays, you really tackle some niche ideas that aren’t being discussed enough.
Making this comment video unwatched:
All I’ve ever wanted was a close community of friends that goes on adventures together and relates a home for themselves. I’ve never wanted fame, or status, or notoriety, or money. I just want people that love me that I can love back. I want a large, chosen family. That’s what I’ve always wanted.
that jason greer reveal was crazy
Me and my best friend talk about how lonely we are all the time. We have no community, we have nobody to talk to except eachother and it’s been like this for years, even surrounded by people who think we shouldn’t exist, in one way or another.
Capitalism made a system where the majority of our time is spent either hating ourselves, others, or too busy working to survive to have friends and community
What do you mean by shouldnt exist
@@Antoniosalierie I mean im queer, gypsy, and Jewish and white supremacy is very alive in the us
I want to write a whole essay down here but I’m too tired. So instead, I’ll just say from the bottom of my heart:
Thank you for this video. Thank you. I can’t thank you enough.
Omg looooved this. makes me think that maybe I’m more bored than lonely, sometimes it’s enough just observing a group of people. also it’s such a shit feeling softening your values just to be in community, I’d rather keep searching for people I have common goals with
This video summarized everything I’ve been thinking for the past few months and I often felt alone in that. These microlifestyles are ironically very polarizing and alienating. Thank you.
Really been enjoying your videos generally but this one was really special for me. I have a degree in community development and your research and analysis of this topic was absolutely impressive.
I was a lonely kid and I am a lonely adult. I fully believe it is compromising my health and shortening my life span. The only time I had community was when I was in group therapy, but that is a finite thing. I felt more lonely and depressed than ever after finishing group therapy.
This is a really even-handed take on the concept of community and I appreciate that.
This is a thought I've had for a while now and you express it better than I ever could have. I wish I had come across this video sooner.
I am from a 'collectivist' nation but still struggle to find belonging. School and college were alright (mostly through forced proximity however) but I moved to a more 'individualistic' country after for graduate school and felt isolated for many reasons like being an outsider, introverted, an adult with limited time, just not having the same interests as others, etc. I did not really fit in with the international student community but I wasn't going to fit in with locals either. The pandemic happened, further exacerbating the issue. My workplace was fortunately one of the places I did find some form of connection in. Then I moved back home and I still don't have a sense of community because I may not be as conformist as I'm expected to be, certain subjects are taboo, etc. So whenever people talk about finding community as some sort of panacea for loneliness, I'm wary. A likely solution (at least to my own problems) is being able to find connection, not just 'community' for the sake of surrounding yourself with people. But you need two or more willing parties for that to happen, and you certainly cannot make it happen forcibly.
The editing of the info in this video is spectacular and ur narration style/tone is very entertaining as well as interesting. Furthermore, the reveal of the speaker's identity in the beginning of the video was very impactful in driving the point home.
I was pleasantly surprised by how nuanced your take on this is and how you addressed the complexities of this issue. You have me some food for thought
another great video elliot! this one will have me lying awake at night rethinking everything
I add another comment because really I love your videos. Thank you for making them. You give a lot of food for thought and I'm happy to think about concepts I'm used to through differents angle thanks to your work.
One of the most eye-opening and nuanced videos I've seen on this subject
This video has given me so much relief. I've been struggling to find my own community in the intersections of identity- and I live in a place where a lot of the communities that are available have been impacted by gentrification, so reaching out to them has been a gamble that usually ends up w me feeling frustrated and largely disappointed.
Now I'm trying to make my own community but I notice that although people are interested in joining, not as many have time or are interested in helping me build it. But it's good to get the reassurance that it's not supposed to be a utopian thing in the first place so it will always be a sort of pain no matter who's involved. At least that's how I'm taking it lol.
As a community fan I quite enjoyed the references. Also this was such an amazing video, thank you for making this informative content :)
Dude this is the best video you've made so far
The points you made really inspired me
You expertly teased apart some important nuance I've been struggling to wrap my brain around, thank you for that.
This is a complex issue, thanks for bringing into existence a place where people can think and discuss the topic
I decided to read the comments (most recent ones), I saw a couple of people expressing themselves in a very rude or condescending manner. Don't let that get to you, the stuff you make may not be perfect, but it's still very valuable due to what I mentioned earlier in this paragraph. Keep exploring life and it's complex, beautiful, terrifying, comforting and chaotic nature my man, saludos desde México
I agree that collectivism cannot solve all of our problems for sure but also the grueling individualism that we have in our capitalistic society is diminishing for us. We have to have a mix of both but when talking about how the means of production is organized, I think that democracy can really help in making your voice heard and not just being a cog in the machine toward making your capitalist more and more profit. I think that democratizing the workplace so that it's horizontally organized and not vertically can create a sense of togetherness and community. And when that fails, either because you don't connect with people in the group or whatever it may be, then that's what moving jobs or referring to H.R is about. Or if you don't connect with them because of your mental health issues then having easy access to affordable or free mental health help can really be useful.
i agree with you and part of what i try to get across is that collective action is extremely powerful, and that we should utilize that power to create a less imbalanced society, vaguely speaking
During the pandemic I switched completely I used to be extremely extroverted but I isolated myself from everyone and didn’t have any friends. When I met some new people they were assholes and I got used, so I decided to be alone. I had social anxiety and I did make some new friends that helped but I still was lonely. Now I’m working on myself and formed new friendships and I’m so much happier.
Your channel is underrated. Subbed. This content hits home.
You're such an insightful young man! This is really food for thought. 🙂
You are wise beyond your years. I'm very impressed with your social commentary.
My friend, bravo. You have spoken something that rings true in all areas in life. My life and others. You are an important person and must be protected at all costs.
Finally. Someone talking about community that doesn't romanticize people :v
I honestly just wish I could be happy alone forever. I don't like interacting with people a lot. I mean, I love people. I love observing them. But when it comes to actually interacting... idk, I'm not a fan of it.
Love this video! ♥
I feel like even though the term community applies, in my personal opinion, community often *feels* more like a conglomerate. Like...being of a certain heritage does place you in the company of many individuals who have that same identifier, but humans are so complex (and intersectionality is a thing) that the heritage can literally be the only thing some people within that community have in common. It's like you can put one foot into one community but the rest of you somewhat fits in other communities too and you end up never fully belonging in any of them. My original opinion used to be that this magical term we call "community" was a place like a small town (think Stardew Valley and Harvest Moon) with less than 200 people where everyone knew each other, trusted and accepted each other, and looked out for one another (but also respected privacy too). I was naïve. I'm still naïve. Part of me still wants that.
I may be an American who has been harmed by individualism, but I believe we shouldn't strive for collectivism either. I think we need to construct a new way of being that simultaneously uplifts and celebrates the individual while also accepting and looking out for each other as a collective. There needs to be less shame around people departing from communities ala excommunication and shunning as well. Instead of being set in a community, perhaps we should allow gaps between borders for people to move freely because people cannot be confined to one community. Humans are complex and will be a part of different communities all together throughout different stages of their lives.
I think this is what Maya Angelou talked about when she said “You are only free when you realize you belong no place-you belong every place-no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great."
Love the bumpers love everything keep up the good work:)
Hold up. I gotta write out my full thoughts on this topic in general and the video in a doc. I'm not even kidding. I need to sort through the "Every thought/argument/point of the essay yelling loudly at the same time" mess in my head first xD But what I can already say right now is that the video was very good and that we probably have come to the same or at least very similar conclusions, @Elliot Sang !
the kinds of ads the algorithm serves to me combined with this video was a surreal experience
I haven't seen a friend in a week and a half, and I've realised I basically become non-functioning if I don't have regular social interaction. I used to think it was just depression/ADHD, maybe it is idrk, but I realise now I need to be around people to feel alive.
This is such quality content. Thanks so much!
So many layers to this topic, but you handled it well, Mr. Sang. Definitely going to have to rewatch and observe the material more👏🏾‼️
Your videos are reaally mind opening and fun for me. Thanks for all. A small suggestion from a viewer: you can keep your "ad breaks" a few seconds longer with revelant fun little videos (like the video of that guy in 9:17 that is screaming). Visuals like that to take a few seconds break from the long and logic-intensive video really help to rest and I think they symbolize what you have talked about and its also fun.
That is because they aren't communities. They are "scenes." Community implies that you have an emotional connection with most members, you aren't lonely, their is support and responsibility. These aren't communities they are "scenes" or "identity collectivism." We aren't part of "a community" we are part of an identity group or category and that doesn't foster genuine connection.
at what point are we just doing “no true irishman” here? community implies that to you, but none of communities of place or practice or interest imply emotional connection with other members. the only thing that can be said of communities is that they generally describe convergences of people for a common cause. that means they can be bad or good. for some, being part of the Black community or the Trans community is not merely “being in a scene,” it Is something emotional and supportive. for others within those communities, they are problematic. it’s complicated
@@elliotsangestevez If there isn't an emotional connection it isn't a community. I would argue that people who are experiencing emotional support, actually are experience community.
I don't know what the "no true Irishman" is supposed to mean.
But this video is depressing. Period. There is not hope or action items at the end of this and I am struggling to see the purpose. How does this deconstruction of "community" help peoples loneliness? Yes communities have conflict and aren't always perfect, but that is a result of a traumatized and oppressed populace stuck in capitalism.
@@elliotsangestevez
"community implies that to you,"
Not having a shared meanings of words, is part of the foundation of postmodernism. I think when people think of community, they think of love, support, and relationship. Then when we experience wrong labeled "communities" and they are toxic scenes we great trauma induced perspectives and bias on community. I have been public burned by a "community" or "scene" multiple times, I haven't given up or decided the idea of community must not be productive then. I realize the flaws in those presentations and seek better. Over 10,000 years of human evolution, biology, psychology, all take about humans innate need for belonging through community. The problem is not community the problem is the enviroment we are forced to build community in, capitalism.
@@disruptivephilosophy i'm confused as to how you have such strong opinions of my video when you seem to have just not watched it. my video has hopeful messages in it. my video talks about how important collective action is. my video addresses those '10,000 years of human evolution' and my video literally highlights the important function of labor unions! my video essentially doesn't disagree with your core arguments! of course there is a need for hope and of course community can be a highly productive thing. i urge you to rewatch and ask yourself if you're just reacting strongly to a semantical difference.
@disruptivephilosophy
Your the best
This is good, thank you. I've been watching your videos since the BTS ones and have become a subscriber after this one. The means to an end is also an end in itself in terms of complexity and difficulty... that's what a community is. It's easy being a passive member enjoying the vibe, but sure enough the community has an objective, and requires contribution. This is also where the work is.
A lot of the communities I’ve been a part of have been about politics. From what I’ve seen, being wholesome might not be a necessity, but it can help. It also really depends on what side of political it is, like some work you can’t do as well with a detached attitude, but with others it doesn’t really matter. I really appreciate your perspective.
Lots of very astute observations in this video! I really liked it. 😊
Very well put, community is there to fulfill a purpose not to make the members personally feel good
IDK how many ppl this will be useful for but I want to put my 2 cents out there. I grew up feeling very misunderstood & crushingly lonely. In college I joined my uni's anime club and started going to cons. I also threw myself into a fashion subculture that led me to eventually having a small business. I met a ton of friends through both interests, and eventually my lovely spouse! I even started a small activist group through the folks I met at cons. We fundraise for causes that we believe in, (QTPoC related) and volunteer and host fandom events open to the community. We're still going strong. I'm still going to cons. I plan on going to them as long as it's fun for me.
Were there some tough times? Definitely. I learned a lot about boundaries and communication. I learned how some people may use you, how some people are toxic and perpetuate the very abuse they experienced on others. I learned that some people will stand for nothing of substance. I learned that it's okay to walk away from a community if it hurts you more than it helps. Would I change anything? No, because I feel like i learned so many lessons I wouldn't have elsewhere.
Don't be afraid to find community via your weird interest group. Thanks for reading, and hope many of you find the love and belonging you want & deserve. Maybe you can even achieve something good through it.
What an amazing Elliot!
I think there's something missing here. Communities shouldn't exist for a reason. Not for an external reason anyway. The missing piece is putting people and their agency first. Without that it doesn't matter if its a collective. Nobody is going to trust each other and nothing good will come of it. If everyone in the collective is externally motivated to be in the collective, then obviously nobody really cares about you and there's no point interacting with them beyond the bare minimum.
As you said, our idea of what we should be like does come from others. That's not necessarily a bad thing because you can have this power too. The problem is that this doesn't come from the community. It comes from the media and larger institutions which you have no agency in. The community should serve you just as much as you serve it. The community needs to be vulnerable to the individual in order to accommodate their needs. Then it is easy for the individual to be motivated to help the community.
This is a wonderful video, thanks for making me think!
great video, elliot.
Oo this the one, been waiting on this type of topic.
SAME. This is precisely what happens when I absorbed myself in superficial content and not in the company of people around me
@@euphorical1679 same
Excellent video! Well done, Elliot 🤘🤘🤘
Maybe we're all just in group therapy together on earth without being aware of it and are on a mission to figure out some universal guidelines that should help us cope with greater understanding of the universe.
Fr, thanks for the video tho, really cool.
love your content! subbed :)
I agree completely about community, and have myself been confused by collectivism as human instinct...but you're right that it is much more complex than that. I myself feel very disregarded by most communities I've tried to be a part of, and it angers me when people insist I should just forgive those communities or work with them because they're the best I've got right now...
It's been 2 years since I had any intimate contact with someone and some months that I don't get anything more than a shake of hands. Everyday when I wake up I feel like throwing up thinking that another day will. Go by without any human touch