Ha... I read the video's title real fast before I clicked and was expecting something titled "What Panties Rights REALLY Means". Me and my drawers were so excited, but you let us down. I still watched the video though.
Zoo Bee! 💔 Who slipped KoolAid into your mug?! I thought you were somebody who paid attention and understood how broken and corrupt the public school systems are.... Is somebody paying you a lot of money to participate in this circus? Or are you offended because you are addicted to broken ideologies? I have not heard of anybody banning books because of LGBT characters There have been LGBT characters in public school libraries for at least three generations now. At least in my state. I have not heard of anybody trying to remove those books as long as they don't contain inappropriate sexual content. The same would go for any books that contain sexual content that are heterosexual. Not to mention that these books that people are mostly fighting have graphic descriptions and sometimes illustrations of adult sexually abusing children. And what's even more terrible is that some of these books are not displaying the scientifically objective knowledge that that is wrong and unhealthy. Obviously it's maddeningly abusive. Or at least it's obvious if you don't have your head in the sand. There are scientifically backed reasons why showing a minor pornography is considered abuse. This is along those lines It's pretty clean cut. Not to mention that any parent giving taxes to the public school system has the right to have a say because they're the ones paying for it that's why it's public school and not private school. That all literally goes towards the pay of teachers and librarians and curriculum &c. Luckily we don't live in an entire dictatorship yet so this will be about having faith that the majority of parents are not completely brain dead and will not tire of this fight. Personally I do think that any parent that is paying attention and has any chance to homeschool should be doing that. The schools have been feeling on an academic level for a long time. Long before my generation and therefore long before this current generation. I have found that most times people say they cannot handle homeschooling it's not true. If a parent truly cannot downsize and afford to be home with their child themselves or to have a trusted friend or family member do it; then there are co-ops, and even Charter schools are a better alternative though most of them also promote false teachings. For example the forefathers were not Christian. Yes they promoted themselves as such in a way to market their leadership. Since the majority of citizens likely were Christians at the time or thought themselves as such. There's much more evidence of writings by the forefathers and about the forefathers That proves the opposite. Some were outright Satanist and others were simply Catholic or atheist. This is one teeny tiny example of how society is brainwashed through the public school system. But if it is a distance learning charter school then the parent has a better chance to guide their child away from misinformation. They can teach them how to think critically and how to validate sources better for themselves when they're developmentally ready to do so. Parents should also be aware of that physical abuse has not been entirely uncommon in public schools either for a very long time. Thank you for reading this, I hope you continue to read while validating your sources and thinking critically. Your brain is beautiful and meant to be used. ❤
I was raised with physical, verbal and emotional abuse as "discipline". My mother was big on the theory that as long as i lived under her roof i was her property, and to this day (I'm 29 and live by myself) I have recurring nightmares of living back with her. Literally my biggest adult fear is being under her fist again. One very jarring memory I have is of being 23 and asking her to knock on my door before entering, because she was walking in on my changing constantly. She turned to me and said "I'm your mother. I can se you naked whenever I want. If I tell you to strip, you strip" That was such a gross power flex, I could never forget it
I was 28 the last time my mother pulled up my dress to inspect my underwear. Looking back, I don't understand how I ever thought that was normal or ok.
How can she tell you to strip, then turn around and have no qualms about coming off like a pimpess or sex trafficker in the making? Does she have no idea how incriminating that is for herself?
i never realized how controversial “kids deserve respect too” was until my mom tried telling me teenagers shouldn’t have privacy and HIPAA laws shouldn’t apply to them.
the way the world, especially America, treats most living things needs a general shift of an entire Overton window length towards respect. we treat farm animals like objects even worse than how we treat kids, and we even treat adults like they're automatically deserving if mistreatment or manipulation for the "greater good", whatever that means in context, and only give them a thin line of plausible deniability that they might not being doing anything wrong out of personal convenience (or fear) of the logic of, "what if it were me?" but even that only gets people so far with their seemingly innate desire to see others suffer. maybe im being pessimistic, but it really seems like the average person is, atleast ignorantly, somewhat evil, or maliciously so
Reminds me of that time my mom hung a poster with my country's childrens rights in the bathroom because "they're important" and a few months later when I called her out on something she did that violated them, she told me that they weren't enforced or something and made it clear she wasn't going to follow them because clearly she knows better.
@@northernguy4262 Yeah, that happens (more kids posting than parents) when a video affects them. Don't forget that kids can have opinions too on how they should be parented. Don't forget that THEY are the ones BEING PARENTED. But yeah, I agree that privacy is *mostly* a privilege that can be revoked. But in my opinion, if a child is doing something wrong on the internet for example, unless it's a life/death situation, you should get the child's permission to disrespect their privacy.
I'm 28 and to this day my blood boils when I hear any version of "you'll understand when you're older". I was too young to have an opinion or criticise, but not too young to look after their children, not too young to be expected to act like an adult.
Well put. You're expected to have the emotional maturity of an adult without free thought or expression. I've noticed this pretty often in mine and my friends' upbringings.
Considering it’s proven that an overwhelming amount of people change their opinions once you get older they aren’t lying. Also your 28 and you don’t have kids of your own?
Speaking as someone who is "older", was an eldest child who was expected to take on adult responsibility too young, and is a parent now -- I agree wholeheartedly. I think very often that response (you'll understand when you're older) is a lazy way for people to avoid having a real conversation about their own failures.
I was raised in foster care due to (mainly) neglect. I think the rights of a child matter more than the rights of a parent simply due to the fact that they're more vulnerable.
I mean also that's just the basic idea of human rights, they apply to all humans regardless of age, sex or ethnicity. You don't get to override them simply because they contain 50% of your DNA.
AMEN. Children's well being is more important than any other issue; they're the next generation. The worst crimes of society are typically by people who were abused when they were younger. When people have chronic depression and anxiety it's often because of a dysfunctional home life.
The right to be protected, absolutely. The right to eat pizza for every meal, well, no. But of course parents should lead by example. It makes NO sense for a parent to eat pizza every night and force their kid to eat healthy food because it's better for them.
Speaking as someone who's mother converted me to Islam and moved me to another country without my consent, parents do not have a right to force on their children a religion, political ideology, sexual orientation or gender identity. What parents have is a responsibility to provide their children with security, a home, adequate neutrition, healthcare, education, and the freedom to find their own identity and purpose.
"moved me to another country" ... so your family moved and you are angry about it? Perhaps I am missing a lot of context but don't you think that to fulfill their responsibilities of security, a home, etc. a parent might need to move? How does a child's consent play any role in a family moving?
@@doomcat6426 This is a lot of assumptions, but also a child should be consulted on whether the family moves in the first place. Or what does the child not have any right to have a stable life? The right to have relationships, and feel comfortable in the place they live without it all being taken away? Maybe the family has to move, but completely disregarding the child, i.e. "how does the child's consent play any role in a family moving" is extremely shitty, and truly makes me wonder if you think children are human beings who deserve stability and friendships.
@@doomcat6426Sometimes moving to a different place is a requirement for survival or a better life and that should be clearly communicated to a child if that is the case, but it _is_ in fact possible to move for selfish or abusive reasons too. Wanting to isolate a partner or child and make them completely dependant on you, for instance, is much easier when you can simply force them to move into a gated or cult community where their interactions will be heavily limited and scrutinised thanks to the great distances and limits upon their resources.
I always hate it when I comment on corrupt parenting on the internet, and get asked "Are you a parent?" No. I'm a kid. Still buried in the awful mistreatment YOU fight for. I know how to treat a kid because I know how I need to be treated. _Like the human being I am and always have been since the second I was born._
I'm not a parent nor a kid. But I can still remember what it was like to be a child. Never lose that respect for yourself, it only gets more necessary as you get older
Thank you! You're so right. Some people act like no one can understand kids or parenting unless they're a parent themselves. Except ALL OF US HAVE BEEN KIDS at one point, so it's not like we have no idea how kids think or feel.
Have you considered that not every child needs the same thing as you? Let us take myself for an example. Have had a learning disability since birth, made it real hard for me to connect ideas and many social aspects of life. Meaning that I had issues with understanding personal boundaries and what is acceptable, essentially. At certain times I required physical punishment to learn, because I simply was *unable* to hold onto that social information without a strong other feeling. Just couldn’t do it.
I have 2 kids (9 and 7yo) and I raise them the, mostly, the way I was raised. My mom has been telling me my whole life, "You're not raising kids, you're raising future adults." Her tactic was to treat my brother and I like people and to teach us skills like critical thinking, research, media literacy, etc. My dad taught us about history and how it showcases tendencies of human behavior, some good and some bad. We were encouraged to do things, but we were free to argue against them. Just be ready for a counter argument. I raise my kids the same way. I don't want them to think the same way I do, I want them to think. I want them to be open to new ideas but still think critically. I want them to be decent and kind people.
Reminds me of how my dad has put it (IIRC it was apparently inspired by a native american saying?); "We are really just borrowing you from your future adult selves for a short time in your life, until you can live independently. Your life is yours, and our role is simply to support it." Not that that means support ends at 18yo to him! He still helps and supports and is there for even his 45yo adult son when he needs him. He has said about that, "Being a parent is a life-long duty. I _want_ to support my children. I will always have a duty to you." If it's not already clear, I love him very much 🥹🫶 My other parent felt like _children_ had a duty to care for their _parent_ (even when they're a small child) because "We're family", so having my dad in my life really was so important to me, and he stood up for us a lot, and always argued fiercely against when mom tried to fight with him over that they need to have a "united front" (consisting of her unreasonable opinion ofc), saying "No, it is important our children feel that they are listened to, and I don't support [her unreasonable decision]"
You are an amazing person I had to basically bash my head into a wall until the wall broke and my parents had a mental breakdown before they actually discussed things with me instead of “I told you so” Is intentionally causing a mental breakdown in your parents psychopathic behavior? Yes, no matter what this is not a good thing to do Do I regret it? No the only thing I regret is continuing to break them so that they commmited die but stopped when I was around fourteen when I realized their hurt was caused by ignorance not malice (I simply didn’t understand that someone could be so horrible out of ignorance)
The worst part about being a young person affected by these issues is that, while other groups that have been mistreated can fight for their rights and stand up for themselves, kids can’t vote, kids can’t go on strike, and kids have no leverage or power. It’s an impossible loop. We need to be seen as human beings to be able to fight for the right to be seen as human beings. Thank you so much for covering this issue!
Obviously, we adults need to fix this, but kids can also exercise power, they just don't realize it yet. The power is always with the subservient one because only they can determine when no is final and the dominant one can't make them change their mind without their permission. Refuse to go to school or work pr help around the house en masse until we adults get their heads out of their asses. Speak to newspapers. Report any and all physical or mental abuse by adultd - minor or major - to the authorities and reporters and online via libraries and social media. Make noise. Be the squeakiest wheel ever. Stand outside government buildings in protest. They shouldn't have to, of course, but cornering these gross "parent's rights" people is going to take a pincer approach, sadly.
So it's kind of systematic in the way that once you have powere you do the same abuse or disregard them, in other words it's intrinsikly thought to us to abuse power on on end and to ignore on the other. So a system that tells us to disregard others becouse that isn't my issu. If anybody want's to bother about this; I found nervous brakdowns and other some such are counter productif, so I Hope you stay healthy.
I saw someone on tumblr say that, after years of working in social care and helping people get away from abusive partners and off the streets, they don't know what they'd do if they were a kid who needed to escape abusive parents. There are no facilities for helping a child leave an abusive home of their own free will - no shelters, no programmes, no funds. The police take runaways back home without asking why the kid ran and shelters don't take unaccompanied minors. You're absolutely right: kids don't have a lot of protections or rights and don't have any way to get them. We adults have to fight on your behalf.
Women and black people couldn't vote either. It's hard, but convincing others that we aren't apes that can be molded into what society wants has been proven time and time again to be possible.
Disclamer - I'm not a parent. I am an involved uncle. What I see in this movement and in many parents around me is a failure to recognize that children are not permanent. They are at least partially adults in training. One day every child will be someone else's coworker, neighbor, lover, or friend. It is not your job to keep your children in the dark, to try to protect their innocence for as long as absolutely possible. It is your job to prepare them to be adults, to teach them to interact with the rest of us in a prosocial manner. Schooling is an important part of this. Learning the curriculums, yes, but also how to interact with peers and external authorities and people who are different from them in many ways. This takes parents relinquishing some of their perceived control. Otherwise you children will enter adulthood with the internalized belief that you are the ultimate authority on everything. That is not a kind thing to do to them.
It's not a kind thing to do, but many of the ones doing this sort of thing are not kind people. They don't care about the independence of their child. To them the child is little more than a cudgel they can swing against perceived iniquities of the world; a soldier in a neverending cultural war. The children's lives are not their own any more than are their parents'--they are indebted to and on some level enslaved to the *culture.* And the whims of the culture must be served.
As someone who was homeschooled up through high school, even now, at 35, I *still* have trouble making my own decisions in life without an authority figure to tell me it's the right thing, so I heartily agree with you. Every decision I made was tightly monitored and controlled by my parents, who thought it was love. Making any decision they disagreed with resulted in a painful, humiliating spanking. These days I suffer from pretty bad decision paralysis that I'm in therapy to try to overcome, and I think it's because I was treated this way. If you try to make all of your kid's decisions for them, you end up training someone who is incapable of knowing what they want for themselves in life, and that leads to lots of problems.
I know this is an ancient thread at this point, but I want to put what you just said much more brutally. For the record, I say this in support of your point. A parent's job is not to protect their child's innocence. That's impossible, it _will_ be shattered eventually, that's the nature of the world. Bad things happen sometimes. No, their job is simple. Their job is to shatter that innocence themselves, in a controlled fashion, no matter how much they might not want to, in order to keep that shattering from shattering *_their child_* with it.
@@iboofer I think this is perhaps uncharitable. Ernst Becker had the idea of "hero projects," basically projects we undertake with the end-goal, whether or not we admit it, of "immortality" in some metaphysical sense. Some people sculpt beautiful statues, some people write thousand-page treatises, and some try to mold their children into play-dough Mini-Me's to proliferate their ideologies, beliefs, understandings, values, etc.
Except children's humanity is being respected and you literally just said nothing. You can't even explain in what way children are being disrespected, like, according to you radical left wingers literally raising your children at all or teaching them anything at all is a form of abuse. Unless of course it's YOU, teaching them YOUR beliefs... then it's holy work.
So how old do they need to be before you molest them? That's where this logically ends up. So what is it pedophile? Do you have any human decency left?
@@rhael42 Its necessary. You're making no argument other than the obvious. If pedophiles get children "liberated" they can rape them freely. You people are genuinely evil. You should see this is where this is pushing from the fucking *STARTING LINE!* Troons were just a trojan horse to get the pedophiles teed up for a hole in one.
@@rhael42 Right. Because as property of their parents, they have protection from these weird creepy perverts who are fighting for "child autonomy" for very sick, disgusting reasons.
Damn I just turned 19 I'm afraid to cut my hair like I always dreamt of because apparently my hair is no mine, it's my mother's... One day, one day... The dehumanization doesn't seem to stop once we reach adulthood😢
Similar to this, when children grow up and stop allowing their parent to mistreat them, the parent starts blaming everyone that child met and befriended and was introduced to or even read articles about online, they will reach far and wide to the ends of the earth just to believe their child isnt just thinking for themselves.
I came out as trans and my parents immediately blamed my trans girlfriend for coercing me into transitioning. I met her months after I changed my name and pronouns. I told them this. They didn’t believe me.
Maybe I’m a nerd, but the show Supernatural has one of my favorite quotes about children: “Kids ain't supposed to be grateful. They're supposed to eat your food and break your heart”
I’m a middle aged man now, but I was one of the lucky few kids who had those abusive, controlling parents but was able to emancipate themselves. Now I’ve got four boys and the defining feature of my parenting style is equality and respect. I’m determined to be the parent mine never were.
Children are discriminated against in so many ways that most people never talk about. 1. Assault and battery against them is legal in many places under the guise of "corporal punishment." 2. They are legally forced to be in schools, most of which don't have proper heating/AC or provide free lunch. 3. They're able to get jobs and have their income taxed, but aren't able to vote (straight-up taxation without representation). 4. Authority figures punish them for practicing basic self-defence. 5. They're constantly used as ammunition by hateful reactionaries that actively harm them. 6. Their reports of actual abuse and mistreatment are seldom taken seriously. 7. They're treated as wrong for rebelling against their parents, even when they have perfectly good reasons for doing so. 8. They're automatically assumed to be stupid and immature in every context, just because of their age. 9. Don't even get me started on the shit people do to neurodivergent kids. And if you ever complain about any of this as a child yourself, good luck getting anyone to listen to you. Your opinion means absolutely nothing to the majority of people. It's sad.
I think minors (by this, I mean teens 15-17) should be able to work if they want to but not be taxed at all until they're 18. Either that, or they should be able to vote starting at 15.
@@mynameisreallycool1there are people who earned their political rights way earlier than 18, and also there are some who are past even their 40's and shouldn't be able to participate politically. the unfortunate thing is that the latter is way easier to be applied thand the first, and for the wrong reasons. 😢
In many states in the US minors can be married with parental consent but have to right to file for divorce until age 18. Child marriage is alive and well in the US.
I'm 17 years old and I recently had a conversation with my dad about Sex Education at my school and how I don't feel like it's as efficient as it could be (they just teach abstinence) and he blew up into this long monologue. In the end, his point was that parents should get the right to CONTROL what kids learn about sex and how much they should learn on the topic. He implied that gym teachers and other people who are assigned the role of the sex ed teacher don't fully know what they're talking about. I hate the fact that I couldn't have an opinion on the topic because if I did, I would be considered an "inexperienced child" who doesn't know what she's talking about.
Well, those teachers probably don't know what theyre talking about, but neither do parents opposed to sex ed! 😂 I learned most of my sex ed from the Planned Parenthood website, the Sexplanations channel, and my doctor. Tbh the most important lessons I learned were just about good practices for health in that area of my body (like avoiding ANY scented products in that area, quickly changing out of sweaty or wet clothes, wearing natural fibers instead of synthetic, tight pants can lead to irritation and infection, etc.) The condom and birth control thing was made fairly clear, but the little details of caring for that part of your body (beyond "wash regularly" and "use pads") were not something ANYONE discussed with me. Hang in there. You're doing okay.
That's a HUGE part of sex ed that is NEVER taught! Proper care for your own bits. It's probably why SO MANY PEOPLE still think: - You need to wash INSIDE the vagina - You don't need to wash the whole penile area (also, can we talk about how women are made to be OVERLY clean, as if we're dirty naturally, but men are not nearly as concerned about their own genital cleanliness, as if they are naturally more clean???) - That douches are okay or good to use - That tampons take your virginity - That every girl has a hymen and no blood on her first time means she's already had sex - That sex should HURT for a girl's first time - That girls don't even know vaginal discharge is a NORMAL healthy thing, so it leads to girls like ME assuming I was peeing my pants a little bit all the time - Etc
Hang in there. You're entitled to the wisdom or your life experience just like anyone else. Just keep that mind open, I know it's hard when so many voices get amplified telling you you don't know what you're talking about.
i mean teachers teaching about stuff should have an understanding of what their teaching in 10th grade at my highschool all kids were required to take a basic health class that wasn't too in depth on sex ed but gave us everything we needed to understand
One of my students, about your age, put together a complex discussion of how relatively liberal Australian sex ed reproduces patriarchal norms. I can only extend my sympathy to your situation, but it's improving all the time.
Its the same people still pushing hate & division and calling it parents rights, perhaps even states rights. Anti-LGBT rhetoric is a tenet of white supremacy.
@@nacholibreri my grandparents were teenagers in the 60s and 70s in the south, desegregation was declared law in ‘54, but many MANY districts in the southern US refused to desegregate, took the feds stepping in and making it happen for it to actually occur. My own grandparents watched it happen, my high school was historically black, and when desegregation started my grandmother had friends whose siblings were made to switch schools to mine. And she described their parents as being “less than happy” about it, and because of the history of my hometown? Yeah, its not because of their kids going to a different school.
This issue is even worse for disabled kids- constantly having their needs dismissed/ ridiculed. And in some cases they can be subjected to abusive ‘therapy’ like ABA with the goal of modifying behavior with reward/punishment instead of helping the child to understand and accommodate their needs.
They deny them food, water, medical care. They physically abuse them by beating them and electrocute them. The bastard who started Aba was a damn torturer and sadist nothing more.
@@BlapwardKrunkleit emphasizes compliance and conformity, and can be extremely emotionally distressing to children. The use of punishment in ABA has also been linked to trauma and other negative psychological effects. It doesn’t teach people the skills to better navigate the world, but rather punishes them for behaviours considered “abnormal” such as stimming. There’s more information online if you want to know more
@@BlapwardKrunkle The simplest answer is, it's right there in its own self-described goals. It wants to try and make autistic kids indistinguishable from their neurotypical peers. That might not seem so bad at first glance, but think about it for a second. How would we be indistinguishable, to who, and to what benefit? By heavily policing our outward expression, and done in order to make the neurotypical people around us more comfortable. Have you ever heard of masking in this context? It means hiding our real selves and our autistic outward expressions behind a neurotypical mask, and it's exhausting. And getting us to do this is the _stated_ goal of ABA "therapy." It's rather similar to the idea of a "therapy" designed to make gay people indistinguishable from their straight peers. You know, gay conversion "therapy." Which, in case you didn't know, ABA was a spin-off from originally. Because quite frankly, it gets _so much worse_ the further back you look, and remnants of that old conception still poison the practice to this day even if you want to talk only about the ones that make the attempt to care (because some don't). Now, I will be as fair as possible, and acknowledge that some people who have had really rough times can find some benefit from ABA. However. They could get that benefit from a more responsive, compassionate variety of therapy more responsive to autistic expression being valid and accepted, that merely sought to help people be the best versions of their entirely autistic selves that they could be.
my mum once stole the emergency keys i gave to other relatives and broke into my apartment and threw a fit of rage as i tried to throw her out and in her blind rage she admitted that she sees me as her property so taking the stuff from MY kitchen is her right
I’m a 72 yo retired teacher who is concerned about what’s happening in education. Parents like the ones you discuss are making the work of educators so hard. Thank you for your videos which explain the situation so well.
As a Dutch person, but not someone who teaches, I'm concerned as well: the religious, anti-LGBTQI+ based doctrine is flying over to my country as well, and this year, due to lies spread similarly like done by organisations like Mom's for Liberty, there was a massive hate campaign. According to an extreme-right website, and another super ultraconservative organisation in my country, there were lies spread about children in 4th grade 4 (you are about 7-8 years old here) being taught anal sex, children in 3rd grade were told to start experimenting with their genderidentity, and what not. It led to threats against the organisation who made the lesson materials (and, might I add: age-appropriate ones at that) and it caused heightened police presence in my street because of the (religious!) primary and elementary school around the corner from where I live, because they would be fully participating in a theme week surrounding sexual education for the first time, and had received threats as well as a result. Parents were also shouting how they were going to keep their children home, and were verbally threatening teachers to leave the children alone. This all happened in a country that used to be capable of having pride over the fact that with some subjects, we had a progressive, tolerant view, based on the idea you are much better preparing children for the rest of their life by for one thing, giving them comprehensive sexual education, because research continues to show that the better they are educated about it, the later they start having it, and should problems arise, the better prepared they are. Other subjects were treated with a sober approach to it, and this kind of extremism used to be countered by people making sure to let those holding those views know they were not welcome and should mind their words. The weirdest, and scariest thing mostly this time, was that it was easier than ever to disprove all the lies spread: the lesson materials are made available online for everyone to see, mostly so that parents can check them out so they are prepared about the possible questions their children might have, or simply if their children want to continue the conversation about it upon coming home. But every time you tried, you heard: "They took it out obviously because of all the criticism! Don't you get it!?" Next to this, some talkshows in my country also completely failed to do their journalism right: some invited the "concerned parents" (celebrities, mostly, who with having children of their own decided to help spread the lies on their own social media platform....) and instead of giving them a massive slap in the face by showing all the lesson materials and ask them where the explicit lesson materials were in those packages, these people got a massive platform to spread their lies and "concerns" and "how bad it was that we as a parent are increasingly losing the right and possibility to find out what our children are actually learning in school", and felt a massive justification in believing in said lies as a result. I fear for the next year this theme-week comes around honestly... I am scared a part of my country suffered a massive form of brainrot due to social media shoveling exactly the kind of hateful, anti-gay and anti-trans rhetoric through their mouths and reinforcing "what they always thought was already happening".
72 years... well that's a long **cking time so I have questions: how was teaching different back then? in what decade did you start teaching? I hope you have a lovely day!
I am and always have been FAR more concerned with my daughter's rights as a human than mine as a parent. I am her father as much as she is my daughter. There is NO sense of "ownership" and I have always actively avoided such an attitude. I think it was effective based on her behaviors at 22. Extremists parents on the Right do not only want to exert "ownership" over their own children, but they want to exert ownership over my child as well. This is fascism.
See, that right there says Zoe Bee is out of her mind when she makes SO many implications in her video that parents mostly want to own their children. I never wanted to own my son. I've only got a few more years with him before he moves away on his own. I want him to think, "You know, my dad didn't always agree with me, and sometimes he wouldn't let me do the things I wanted to do, but I know he always had my best interests at heart, and wanted me to grow up as a man who can choose whatever road he wants, but preferably a road with wisdom and peace."
You're totally right. I'm very fortunate in that my parents have always valued my siblings and I as individuals, but SO MANY parents just view their kids as extensions of themselves that they can do whatever they want to. It's why a lot of close-minded parents get so angry when their kids come out as LGBTQ or express different political opinions; they're actively going against how the parents view themselves.
@@hagoryopi2101 Bruh, you're bringing up an entirely unrelated topic from OP's point. We're talking about how too many parents think they OWN their kids, not that parents shouldn't ever make any decisions for their kids.
I was raised with verbal and emotional abuse. When I saw how the “parents’ rights” advocates talked about their kids my brain went “OHH! Hey I’ve seen this one before! This is just dehumanization and abuse masquerading as protection! …oh.” Thank you for making a video about this, it was really well done.
these conservatives steal our words and re-define them to hide what they really want to do ... abuse. That's the real word that they are trying to hide under "Parental control"? Sure..you have control as a parent. You get to dictate meals and timing and activity. You get to control the environment so that random strangers can't enter. Just approved guest list. But that's what you do for a 5 year old. Nobody remains 5 years old. This is absurd levels of controlling abusive behavior that one would never tolerate as an adult. It's just a clever marketing game so that the other people don't really realize what it is. It's definitely unhealthy behavior. It speaks to certain conditions in these parents that they would want to be so controlling and to not recognize their children's autonomy. The problem with this conservative theft of our words, either by removing them from the public square or re-defining them, is that without words, how can we call out evil?
I had a slightly different experience because mine was far more about manipulation and was never as open as what you're describing. But I dont think I am ever going to stop being mad at them for thinking they know better about myself than I do. Nor being mad at other people who think the same of their kids. I dont understand how someone can grow up as a child and then go on and do this stuff later. Hot take: children have the same fucking rights as adults besides voting and that kinda stuff.
People need to realize that just because your child has your blood & genetics, that doesn't mean they are a "mini you". They're not mini versions of their parents, they are literally their own people. I see a pattern of parents being loving towards their infant child, but the moment they start talking & speak their mind about their wants & needs, they get annoyed, even abusive towards them because they are not a cute little pet anymore. Kids are not pets. They are not projects. They are not here to complete you. Thinking kids completes a person's life is so toxic & puts way too much pressure on a child. Kids are human beings that are gonna grow up to be adult human beings who speak their own mind & do their own thing. If you can't accept that, then please for the love of god, do NOT have children.
@@JoeWicke Your kids are fully autonomous, individual human beings, you don't get to decide what they can and can't think. You're their parent, not their owner.
On both sides of this debate people are trying to control kids, whether the parents or the State. They are vulnerable little minds up for grabs and somebody is going to train them and condition them. Being honest about what this battle is about is high pressure, I know, but then that's democracy. Do we believe in the sexual rights of parents, the power rights of the State or the rights of children to spit on all parties and go their own way? If it's the later they won't choose school attendance and they may find nobody feeding them unless we create a welfare system designed to care for such little independent thinkers. Foster homes are infamous for sexual abuse, or else maybe we could let them live on the streets like in Moscow and do sex work?
I don't know how many times I've had to tell people my child and I are very different people. You are there to give them the tools and support to navigate life on their terms NOT mold them into what you want.
I am 17 years old, and I distinctly remember getting in an argument with my conservative mother and I said “I’m a person I have rights” and she responded with “You are a child you have no rights” Edit: I’m an adult now fuck you guys
Your mom is correct, but its not that its a good thing. Children are legally their caregivers property, and many parents take advantage of that. My parents included, but sadly I'm 14 and I still have to wait 4 more years to finally leave
When it comes to corporal punishment the best thing I've heard is "If they are too young to be reasoned with, why are you hitting them? If they are old enough to be reasoned with, why are you hitting them?"
Another good argument: It is said that you should never hit a dog when training it. If you can train a dog without hitting it, why should you have to hit a child when training them?
@@kathrynmyrick1739 I must be a terrible horrible evil animal hating Nazi for occasionally hitting a dogs nose or butt with a rolled up newspaper or magazine then. I also love how you compare human children to non-sentient animals. If we 'trained' human kids exactly how we train our pets, we'd never teach them to speak.
@@remo27I wouldn't go as far as "animal hating Nazi" but you don't sound like a person I'd want to be around. The dog analogy isn't literal. In the long run, hitting kids teaches them to be afraid of you. It doesn't teach them why whatever they did was wrong. Once they hit 18, they're leaving and never looking back. If you can't find other ways to teach kids than to smack them, maybe you shouldn't be a parent. And don't hit your dog either.
Also, if we lowered the cost of raising a child, we would defang the "I own my kid because I pay for them" argument. Just another reason to improve social services, as if we needed more.
I don’t think so. If a parent has that kind of mindset, no amount of support network is going to change them. If they so much had to spend a dollar a day, they’d have the same argument. If they had to spend NOTHING, they’d argue that well, I let you stay in this house.
Perhaps it would remove the 'I paid to have you' -> 'I purchased you' link but, sadly, it wouldn't remove the mentality. People in countries with nationalised healthcare express similar sentiments using food, clothes, and housing as the excuse.
That argument holds no merit either way "I clothed you, gave you warmth, shelter and food." is the bare minimum, it's what you sign up for when you have a kid. It's like saying you're a great pet owner because you put your fish in water
Having parents who have encouraged me every step of my life, no matter if i was rebelling or losing my faith in christianity or telling them i was trans they have never tried to censor my sight of the world. I thank them everyday for letting me explore as a kid and find myself BY MYSELF without them meddling in it all.
So, they were OK with you playing with metal objects in electrical outlets? Did they let you run in the road so you could explore being hit by a car? Part of the job of a parent is to protect and guide that child until the child is old enough and experienced enough to make those decisions.
@@BryanTorokscream is talking about normal teenage behavior: mostly rebelling against society’s norms and exploring how they fit into various aspects of this society. You’re talking about putting metal objects into high voltage AC lines. You do realize these are not the same thing…right? You do realize how belittling you’re being…right?
I've seen that having books about human reproductive organs, puberty, sex, consent, and abuse leads to more kids who are being sexually abused to be able to know what is happening to them and then ask a trusted adult for help. You can't tell someone you're being sexually abused if you don't know what sex is. THAT'S why they don't want it taught in schools.
I don’t think that’s the reason why. I think it’s a very, very unfortunate consequence among many other very, very unfortunate consequences of hundreds of years of repression when it comes to even the mere mention of sex or sexuality
The number of arguments I've been in where one side goes "you don't know what it's like to be a parent" and I go "no, but I do know what it's like to be the child in that situation and I ended up moving to a different country twice to get away from the kind of parents that made the decisions you did".
A while ago I was talking to a family member about how some parents of intersex children will have cosmetic surgery on their infant children’s genitalia which some have reported causes lifetime pain and/or sexual discomfort. I made a comment along the lines of “I don’t think parents should have the right to have cosmetic surgery done on infants” and I got a huge rant about parent rights and how they should be able to do whatever they want with their kids
You should see the audacity of the parents once the child finds out what was done to them once they realize they chose the wrong one, and now the kid is trans. Or that they had been mutilated in the name of conformity and lose all trust in them for hiding it. I know from personal experience that it's NOT pretty, and I'm lucky I survived.
@@etherweb6796 Ok you are assuming that sex reassignment surgery is being done on children. I can assure you it is not common whatsoever except in the case of intersex infants. As even the most supportive doctors always have the health of the patient at heart, it's a process to get approved that takes years of interrogation that is only considered for teenagers at earliest. You assume corrections by surgery are bad as a whole don't you? And are hiding behind that "think of the children" angle like a coward like the rest of the the regressives. Every time someone uses hypothetical children as pawns in politics, you are hurting real people who don't have the right to speak for themselves yet.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that said family member also claims that gender affirming care for trans kids is "mutilation". (Never mind the fact that they generally don't do surgery until they're 18, but transphobes all seem to believe it's the go to option...)
Your legally can’t get a surgery like that until 14 with parental consent anywhere in the country lmao. I’d talk to that family member about where he’s getting that info.
@@etherweb6796 considering my step bro is trans, went through it as a teen and is now much happier, healthier and overall brighter then ever disagrees with your bigotry.
The fact that the Conservative premier of Manitoba recently admitted in an interview that she would force teachers to inform parents about their children's reports of abuse by those same parents tells you everything you need to know.
Between the 'parental rights' bullshit and the PC's official policy of "If you can get your victim's body into a landfill, we won't go looking for them", it's a dangerous time to be a Manitoban kid with bad parents...
I mean im in Aus & as a 10 year old I told a teacher I trusted exactly that. She proceeded to tell me she had to tell my parents because I was being harmed? (By my parents?) that it was duty of care. After screaming, crying, begging with her she called my parents, gave me a hug and sent me on my way. Gee I wonder if that lead to a productive discussion or literal hell on earth for the next month. No wonder why I have trust issues ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yeah, politicians will pander to their base instead of trying to solve real issues (looking at Quebec's premier, who wants to create a commission on gender neutral bathrooms in schools while we lack schools, teachers, food to feed the kids and a chunk of them have to work to support their family).
My mother spanked me ONCE as a child. Y'know what happened? From that, i learned that hitting was ok as long as you are angry with someone, and I proceeded to start smacking and punching other kids at school. My mother stopped spanking me and whattdya know! I stopped hitting!
Saw a frustrated kid at a supermarket hitting his aunt. She threatened to hit him if he didn't behave how she wanted. GEE, I WONDER, WHERE DID HE LEARN THAT VIOLENCE IS AN EFFECTIVE WAY TO GET THE DESIRED BEHAVIOR IF YOU'RE FRUSTRATED?
My dad used the belt on me about 4 times growing up and never used anything else. That's 4 out of the 6,000 plus days I lived with him. He never did it in anger, didn't swing it very hard, and only reserved it for when I did something really bad, which is why it was so infrequent. That taught me that I can't just do whatever I want and expect no repercussions for my actions. It also taught me that if I lie to somebody they're eventually going to find it out. People learn differently from different situations. So while the belt worked on me, I know it does not work on everyone. I certainly wouldn't recommend it be used often, if at all. My mom and dad also saved up a decent sized college fund for me and that sure as heck helped me out later.
@@theboombody I don't recommend it at all personally because op's case is more common than not. My little sister only got spanked twice but now she hits ppl w belts Not hate; wrote this for future/current parents as a kid myself
I have a son and a daughter. My son is in middle school and my daughter is in elementary school. Before I became a parent, when I was still thinking that was something I could completely control and plan, I had a conception of the father I would be. Boy was I off! I had my plan and conception, but my kids had other ideas. We clash. They push me. I push them. We both make bad decisions we regret and will hopefully learn from - especially me. What I have concluded, after a little over a decade as a parent, is that my kids are actively growing to become adult people, right from the start. My role is to guide and instruct, not to force and indoctrinate. I set up a framework, and help them fill it in. I show them the paths and give them a map and walk along with them. But there will be times, even while they're still very young, when I am not there to help fill in the frame or lead them down a path. For those times, I hope that I can be a voice to guide. Hopefully overall an example of what to do, but also inevitably and example of what NOT to do. I'm a person, fallible and hypocritical, with NO IDEA what I'm really doing. And so are they. When we travel the path together, they can show me new things and new paths I haven't seen. When we fill in the frame, they can show me new methods and add frames themselves. That's what makes parenti g such a beautiful (and ugly) experience.
Such a thoughtful, gorgeously-written comment.... Thank you for sharing your experience with us all, and so eloquently as well! The line between guiding and forcing can be blurry at times, but it's heartwarming to hear that both sides of these clashes-not just the kids, but the parent as well-are striving to be accountable, recognizing and growing from your regrets and mistakes. ❤❤❤
Kids are hard. My parents are pushing for me to have kids, but I’m just focusing on getting out of the house more to meet people socially so that is even possible. When they (or even if just one) are born while they grow up I will be learning too so we can both survive together. It sucks though because I am the least qualified of my family with the health stuff I got, but I want to help to support properly too. It’s odd that in the least socially capable yet I’m the most determined to help them be their own person and thinking of being a parent at all.
I’m 22 now, but growing up as a trans kid was traumatizing to say the least. Minors have very little bodily autonomy, so even though I had a dozen doctors and psychologists that recommended medically transitioning when I was 16, my mom overruled all of them. I ended up starting hormones on my own a few days after I turned 18. And honestly, my experiences weren’t that bad. I had so many friends whose parents wouldn’t let them defy any gender roles. I knew many teens that kept their trans identities a secret from their parents at all costs because they knew they hated LGBTQ+ people. Several of my friends were sent to “Christian therapy” after coming out to teach them how they were sinning. We had a couple teachers in high school that were very supportive of us. They were mostly English teachers, actually. My sophomore year English teacher was the first adult to ever call me by my chosen name. A couple of them came to support me when I spoke at a rally for trans youth after Trump was elected, which meant the world to me when my parents were still denying my gender. If those teachers were legally required to out us, I think there would have absolutely been a death toll. We already lost one trans friend to suicide after she was outed and sent to conversion therapy. Her family, like many where I grew up, were biblical fundamentalists. It’s still really hard for me to process it all even after I moved out of my hometown to a more liberal and accepting city. So many of my friends are still trapped there. They’re financially trapped and still dependent on their abusive parents to survive. Mine eventually came around and basically support me now (it’s been 7 years, so they decided I was probably being serious I guess). My trans friends and I have talked about doing everything from moving to Seattle to starting a living community with all our queer friends. We’re all still doing a lot of therapy to deal with “parents’ rights.” Sorry for this long ramble, but it’s been a wild ride since I came out in 2016. If anything, it might be worse now since most of the anti-trans legislation right now didn’t exist when I was in school…
@@miajajajajajajajajajo when the boomer generation dies, there will be less of them. and then we can start making laws that treat us like equals. that will be the start, i hope.
I'm so heartbroken to hear that. Maybe trying to set up a community for queer people, particularly queer youth, is a good idea. Maybe that could be a way for your trapped friends to escape. Pool your resources. I hope things become better for all of you. * hugs from across the pond *
Growing up Christian, I assumed that everyone knew that most parents are insanely dedicated to the notion of controlling the children’s every thought and action.
As someone who also had this, it’s wrong for anyone to force their beliefs onto anyone else; this garbage needs to stop - I’m sorry you went through this too…
@@awkwardukulele6077 No parents for the most part try to raise children to the best of their abilities using experience from their past. LGBTQ wants to train them into obedient drones
@@petervizzini4006 could you explain yourself? he litteraly said controling if you are talking about your own experiences in a chistian family i can understand but you have to remember every family is different maybe you were a lucky outlier but yeah the same applies to the original coment
There's an important distinction between "owning" a child and "being responsible for" a child, but it's hard for me to put into words all the ways that distinction matters. The main thing that occurs to me is how a "responsibility" model leads to you thinking about parents and teachers sharing responsibility for how a kid is raised, and that just makes sense. Everyone involved tries their best to teach kids something, and it's painful (or impossible) to micromanage how someone else does it, all you can really do is try to make sure the outcome is acceptable. From an "ownership" mindset, you start thinking of a child's learning as some ill-defined contract that you can sue someone for violating, which is basically impossible when you realize that kids will learn from everything and everyone around them. You simply cannot control a child's environment to that degree without it being abusive.
They do say "it takes a village to raise a child". The people who lack any understanding and reject any opinion that's not their own, those people have such a disrespect of humanity......
"Owning" a child means you care for your own feelings and wellbeing first and foremost. "Being responsible for" a child means you care for the CHILD's feelings and wellbeing first and foremost.
I own my pet snake and I still give her more love and respect than these people give their children (I do call her dumb, but in my defense, she really is. She once got stuck in a toilet paper roll, and when I tried to help her, she actively fought against me. She's so dumb. I love her so much.)
@@johannageisel5390 it's so true. She once escaped from right in front of me and I didn't notice, so I tore up my room trying to find her after I realized she was gone. I couldn't find her so I cried myself to sleep that night. The next morning I found her ice cold and hiding under the dryer. It wasn't even running that day. It was freezing from the start! And she thought, "yes, this is a good place to sleep. It is cold and the dust bunnies are big . I can eat the bunnies if I get hungry. I am sneaky snek. Hehe."
one frustrating part of children being viewed as property is that when a child escapes an unsafe home, very often they are forcibly brought back to it with little regard as to why they left in the first place.
Uh no. If you tell a mandated reporter that you are being abused. That HAS to get reported to CPS. Whether CPS does anything or not depends but its not because "kids are property". Animals are considered property and theyll be taken away if abuse is proven.
@@TrueEnergizerBunnies "Whether CPS does anything or not depends" And that there is precisely the problem. You can report all you want, but if the authorities are going to do fuck-all then none of it matters.
I was probably 20 years old when I admitted to my parents that I was leaving the Catholic church and that I was atheist. While they were certainly upset and hoped that I would become Christian again someday, they still housed me and provided for me. They never called me stupid and never told me I didn't know what I was saying. They made attempts to convince me to become Christian, but those attempts were always about meeting me where I was without shaming me or threatening me. I still have a great relationship with my dad (my mom has since died), and I will always appreciate that he and my mom handled that news the way they did.
I find it amazing that this generation finds it appalling when they have push back on decisions they make that are against a families tradition but at the same time demonize the same decision they family makes when they don't agree with the decision or beliefs of said family. Sounds like hypocrisy from both sides.
I highly disagree with a lot of things this RUclipsr stands for but I also don’t like people who defeat the purpose of conservatism by being lunatics. With that said I want to say I admire you for not being afraid to think on your own as well as your parents for being Christlike.
@@WillieBrownsWeiner which loon? Zoe Bee? No I would not I greatly disagree with her. I’m here to learn what the polar opposite of me believes in and why the believe in the things they do
My mom wasn't abused by her parents, but she did a number to my sister and I. Then as adults she literally said we turned out just fine and all sorts of other gaslighting shit when we confronted her. She died from cancer last year, and I really do miss my mom, but I sure don't miss the antagonism she created.
One of my fondest memories as a child was having 'adult' discussions with my mom. Being treated with respect and able to explore different ideas was SO important. A lot of these parents will end up with a very superficial relationship (if any) with their adult children
I noticed it when I was a kid; every time someone says "think of the children!" they really mean "think of the parents!" And I'm nearly 40, so you can see the rhetoric hasn't changed. A non-zero number of parents had kids specifically because they wanted to own humans.
So when arguing for school lunch on the grounds of think of the children. People are really arguing that we should think of the parents? Even when they do so as a person without children in a tax bracket that will need to pay more to provide the lunches?
@@nics4967 Sorry for the misunderstanding; I'm indicating the most common rhetoric of "think of the children" is applied to things like censorship and anti-lgbtq+ legislation rather than things like school lunch or really anything that makes life easier and better for children.
My parents are Baptist and very conservative, thank you so much for this video. Privacy did not exist in my house. My parents went through everything I did to make sure it lined up with their thoughts and opinions. They controlled what I watched, read, said, who I hung out with. One time I was at the grocery store with my mom when I was maybe 8 and there was a cheap book bin and I begged her to buy me a human anatomy book, but she wouldn’t let me read it until she went through and glued all the pages she didn’t want me reading together. My drawings, my notebooks, my text messages, my search history were all looked at and recorded and criticized. After I came out at 13 they started forcing me to go to church at least 3 times a week and made me pray about it with the pastor. Ironically he told me to “search for truth” and at the time I was trying to reconcile my faith with my sexuality but through searching for truth I found that wasn’t possible for me. And then my parents started putting cameras in the house and when I arrived to say anything about it my dad said “my coworkers say they’d do the same thing” and my mom would say “I’d rather you’d be a miserable homeless Christian than a happy and successful atheist”. I have BPD and can’t function without smoking weed everyday now. I don’t know what the point of my rant was but this video is so important to me and I worry for all the kids who are growing up like I did, it’s horrible. “Parental rights”has been twisted so badly.
My parents and extended family were big supporters of parents' rights, and as a kid, I thought it made sense. Now grown up with hindsight, I see the ways they were controlling my worldview. I loved science as a kid, so they bought me lots of science books. But if they saw some science they didn't agree with, they tore the pages out. They did everything they could to keep the truth out of my reach. Edit as I kept watching: my father kept a copy of "to train up a child" in his library and was very proud of it.
I'm not usually one to leave comments but I feel compelled to share. I'm 30 years old and I know that if the "parents rights" movement was as established as it is now when I was a child that my mother would have been on the front lines. I don't want to go into the gorey details but my mom was the type of liberal who proudly spoke against corporal punishment and in the privacy of our home make sure not to leave marks for when I went back to school the following morning. She knew I was gay from a very young age, she always acted like she was fine with it while also trying to convince me that I was confused and too young to know better. She kicked me out onto the street when I got together with the man I later married. Its been about 5 years since I cut my mom out of my life and I'm the happiest I've ever been. I don't live my life in constant fear anymore, I have a family I made for myself from the ground up who love me and support me unconditionally. I'm married with a career and a place to call my own. I've reconnected with the cuture that she kept me from for so long. I have so much peace in my heart knowing that when I start hormones, if she ever were to see me again, she wouldn't even recognize me. I know its cliché but it really... really gets better. If you're young and you're reading this your parents DO NOT OWN YOU. You are no ones property, control is not support, domination is not care. There is love in the world, it will find you and you deserve it. Even if someone tells you other wise, even if you don't believe it right now, you deserve to be loved. You deserve to grow into the person you want to be. Zoey, thank you for making this video, thank you for standing up for those who can't stand up for themselves. Hearing you say "a child's right to safety" hit me right in the gut. I had never heard those words together and the fact thats a concept that's even up for debate is repulsive. And I'm not gonna lie... this video's poem had me crying in the club. If you read all this, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. We'll make this world better for all those who'll come after us. No child should have to live in fear. Peace and love on planet earth 🪱🌱
Thank you for sharing, and thank you for the hope and encouragement you give to others. I'm so sorry for the pain you experienced and I wish you all the happiness, love and support you deserve! ❤❤❤
Do you know anyone who has set up a system for childs rights? I mean the best case scenario and how to get there with the nechessery failsafes. Becouse talking about that may be populare but the extensivety of waht needs to be done will bore any rally to sleep, also a concreate goal is easyer to work dowords than an neabulus idea and I'm not bothering to think if I would support such a plan if prevention isn't seariusly coverd in it. I now hypokrits are frustrating, so ? .... hope your healthy, meantally to. Still learning sochiall stuff.
You are, but raising free thinkers also means making sure they're able to hear opposing views from what you believe and allowing your kid to make their own decision on what is right and what isn't. With education, it's apart of that, but also educating the child on specific subjects, which is something you as a parent should not have a right in determining unless you yourself have a masters in teaching.
@@jish55There doesn't seem to be any lack of opportunity for kids to hear right-wing and far-right views, though. Even in the deep blue state where I live, people are literally screaming these views through loudspeakers on street corners and waving signs at passing cars, telling children what vile abominations they are for being different. And that's not touching the right-wing channels on social media actively marketing themselves to kids. If parents are more left-leaning and their kids go outside or online at any point, those kids will be exposed to alternate viewpoints. These views aren't popular among most kids here (at least, not the ones I know), but I can't blame them for disagreeing with screaming adults who tell them they're not really people.
If that were true you'd be making sure your homeschooling your children in the first place. But unfortunately many are not and are trying to have one foot in the door and one foot out. Which they absolutely have a right to dictate what is in the schools and what is being taught. Unfortunately part of what started The downfall of our public school system in the first place was that the majority of parents were now involved in broken families instead of nuclear families and did not have time to participate in deciding what their children were going to be learning. The public school is still funded by parents and their taxes so they definitely get a say since the school boards and the teachers and the librarians are public servants to the parents as well as their children. Personally I see a point in fighting against the atrocities of the school system even though I would not publicly school my children. But because of the fact that I don't want my children's peers to be brainwashed ignoramuses, or even worse to be harmed directly by these ideologies that are being pushed in public schools. TLDR: If not a hypocrite will fight the school system being led by sexists, racists, and pedophiles so that children forced to engage in the public school system can have a chance to learn as freely as possible. ❤
@@me-myself-i787 no jackass, as opposed to human beings who are in the _care_ of their parents, not the _property_ of their parents. You know, because they’re _actual fucking human beings_ and not god damned property. You are a steward of your children, to borrow from Christian imagery. A steward came make important decisions about something in their control, but no one is under any illusions of them _owning_ said thing. If anyone “owns” someone it’s the self, so you are stewarded by your parents until you can claim yourself, but you are never _owned_ by them and they can abuse their power in a way that forfeits their right to control.
Childrens rights are what all prior rights movements have been building up to. Civil rights, women's rights, LGBTQ+ rights, they all should apply to children, but they are the hardest rights to protect when the parents of those children are against them.
@@JoeWicke It's almost like someone's rights have nothing to do with their faculties, that's the whole fucking point see, you have the right to comment whatever the fuck you want, regardless of how asinine it is.
@@JoeWickeYou remember being a child right? Surely you must have had moments where a parent's actions went against your best interest? Children aren't animals or automations. They have feelings and thoughts. I often meet kids that think more intuitively than most adults I've met 😂
My parents used corporal punishment on me as a kid and I never realized how badly it fucked me up until recently. One time I was almost abducted at a bus stop from a grown man claiming to be asking for directions....from an 11 year old. I was daydreaming and completely out of it cause I was trying to mask due to my dad yelling at me before I headed out to the bus stop to pick up my younger brother. Thankfully there were adults around so I wasn't abducted (btw he had sped off immediately when one of the parents questioned him so he was very much not innocent). Once what had happened hit me, I started crying, not because I was almost abducted...but because I was afraid of my parents being mad at ME for almost getting abducted. They weren't really mad at me, but they told me that I have to be more aware of my surroundings (which is fair enough), gave me a rape whistle and had me walk with another person to the bus stop for a while... but nothing more. No check ins, no therapy, no asking if I was even okay more than a day after. They emotionally neglected me and because they spanked me when they were mad and yelled at my face for crying and responding to being spanked with fear and sadness, I was worried more about their reaction than my own safety.
Sounds awful. So sorry and please get therapy and heal. My parents used corporal punishment aswell and I was physically punished by a teacher too and they just let that happen in the UK where it's illegal 😢
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. What you say about masking after your dad shouted at you and being afraid of your parents' reaction after the incident puts a new light on my own reactions to my parents when I was young. Thank you for sharing, and for provoking that insight.
To parents who say they are entitled to know their kid came out as queer in some way, I ask “why do you think you don’t already know? The kid did not feel safe telling you before telling their teacher, and there’s probably a good reason for that.”
I'd suspect the reason is probably the fear mongering you see in videos like this. Schools and Teachers who advocate hiding things from parents are backing the wrong horse - this opens kids up to abuse from any teacher or staff member at school and parents who want to protect their children from harm would have no idea, and the school would just write it off as "bad parents"
@@diamondrg3556 kids aren't told to be queer, they are taught that queer people exist and thats ok. If a kid only knows and sees around him/her straight people and that is considered the norm that queer kid will feel much better talking to someone who says it ok rather than someone who doesn't discus it at all or in some cases even demonized that. Thats what the first commenter ment The way you phrased your response (correct me if I'm wrong) makes it seem like teachers are telling kids to be queer.
As someone with pretty good parents, it's genuinely insane the difference it makes. I'm currently 17 (turn 18 in less than a week) and I've rarely ever felt a need to rebel because my parents give me a good amount of freedom and for the most part the restrictions they did put in place have always made sense, and when they didnt, theyd always hear me out (and it wasnt just performative, they genuinely changed their mind on some things after talking about it). I especially appreciate how they handled my internet access when I was younger; restricted enough to prevent me from being one of those kids who watched an ISIS beheading at age 11 but loose enough to where I could have fun and use the internet to talk to my friends in a private space. They also handled their divorce really gracefully, maintaining an amicable relationship and making an effort to make sure both houses felt like home. No ones perfect, of course, but I wish more people could have parents like them
As a former child, i still find it hard to believe im a real person after spending most of my life as my parents dress up doll. This "children are property" mentality causes trauma well into adulthood.
As a current child, (teen technically) yea, that's already causing problems between me and my mom because I differ in views a LOT, thank goodness someone pointed this out.
I recommend you check out the play "A Doll's House" by Henrik Ibsen. It literally describes EXACTLY what you are saying right down to the metaphor of the doll. It's so fitting especially if you're a girl and/or AFAB.
I grew up in a household where my mom would always proudly state word for word "you are a child, i am above you" when ever she thought i was "disrespecting" her. I certianly took this to heart and gave up trying to speak my mind around her. It was an excellent way for her to exert control over me. Ive just graduated college this year, and like many people, in college I formed my own opinions that weren't just regurgitated indoctrination from my parents. My mom's stance on me be lesser certainly didnt help my journey to becoming my own person with my own beliefs. It also crippled my confidence in myself where i assume that everyone around me is more capable than me. I doubt myself even when im right. Theres still so much for me to unlearn. And yes, my mom is definitely a "parents rights person". If she had it her way, i would have been home schooled. I cannot tell you how happy i am that she wasnt able to do that.
My parents are very liberal and still have the “children don’t get privacy” attitude. I’m moved out at this point, and I discuss my new views on the world with them sometimes (I’m further left than they are now). I recall my dad saying “did I teach you nothing?” As if I don’t respect and value a lot of what he told me. I just have differences in my worldview, and that was enough to elicit “did I teach you nothing?”
If I'm demanding that the school tells me what my kids are doing, then that means that my children don't feel safe or comfortable talking to me. The school needs to be a safe space for kids, and unfortunately that often means keeping them safe from their own parents.
@@gustavus0013 It generally is. But if the kid is hiding something from the parent to the point that the parent needs to yell at the school and demand to be told... Perhaps the parent needs to think about WHY their child hasn't told them that themselves.
“What if the kid didn’t want to tell the parent because they weren’t sure the parent would support them” - honestly this should be a wake up call for the parent. Your child had no reason to believe you’d support them. You failed. If you’re a parent reading this and you’ve failed - just know that you can always turn things around. You don’t have to live with that failure. Giving your kid a reason to believe in you will be hard work. It’s worth it.
@thebearingedge In this case, the child wouldn't have either. There were no such insecurities or uncertainties a mere 20 years ago, and if there were, they weren't rampant as they are today. Really makes you think why that is.
Hi! 19 year old here. Honestly, I don't have too much to note. At least in my case, you put a lot of the feelings I've been having about this whole thing into words in a really eloquent way. One thing I would note is that, to your "they see their children as property" point, as someone who has spent the last year or so recovering from having to live in an environment where _I_ was treated that way, they absolutely do. They don't see us as individuals who they're raising to become self-sufficient, free-thinking adults. They want drones who will repeat everything they believe back to them and who won't think too hard because if we think too hard, we might realize how badly we've been fucked and do something about it, and they would lose their tight grip over our entire lives.
Feudalists also push kids - and i do mean kids - into physically replicating as soon as possible; feudalist parents have such tight control over what children in their circle learn, that being autonomous people who can think for themselves is effectively impossible. By chaining these barely-grown-children to the replication treadmill, feudalists ensure nobody will ever learn enough to question.
@@godofbooks"Parents' rights to do what? What do you wanna use those rights for? You usually don't mention that part, I wanna hear it, I wanna hear what you wanna do with them." Very accurate, ngl
That’s because it follows the same logical line as many similar situations. They wield the idea of their rights as a weapon to take away the rights of others, because they’re entitled (despite their claims that it is in fact their opponents that are entitled), and believe that they deserve their idea of their own rights should supersede the actual rights of others. Parents rights to take away the rights of children and educators, States rights to take away the rights of black people. Apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
As a trans student, I’m honestly terrified of my mom finding out I’ve been going by a different name and pronouns. Im so scared of what schools are going to to me and people like me, and I just, I’m scared
This is honestly so shocking because I was never hit as a kid, neither were my brothers nor most of our friends and we were often way more respectful, polite and responsible than the kids that were. Seeing people be afraid of their parents to me is a mark of bad parenting, and not only for the obvious reason. Whenever I received an order from my parents I always understood it was in my best interest to obey it, and as I grew older I began to question them openly and we would discuss why they thing that's the best course. It's never been "shut up and do what I say" but rather "look you have to do this and you don't really have a choice, here's why" and even if that sounds small it actually makes a huge difference. If you need violence to make your kids obey it's because you are not capable of establishing yourself as a respectable authority figure. I guess that's why conservatives have such an unhealthy and paternalistic relationship with authority.
this is so right, not to mention how even verbal abuse can influence in the same way. They're both manipulation and gaslighting, just in 2 different ways
2 things. First, why would you assume it's only conservatives who hit their kids? Cause... as a teacher I can tell you it's not. Secondly, you know the government kinda just does tell you "shut up and do this" sometimes? Like, with taxes, covid lockdowns, etc. Sometimes it's right, sometimes it's wrong, but the government is not infallible like the vietnam or war in iraq or mk ultra. Like many things there are lots of things where the answer is the somewhere in the middle of the road and not necessarily black and white. Fact of the matter is not all kuds are the same and some need some level of control or they ruin their education not just for themselves but for others too. But that doesn't mean all control is good either. Basically not everything is all black and white and you really can't just say it's one or the other, ya know?
I would say that the issue isn't the physical punishment, it's the intent to inflict pain, the setting your child up to fear you, the punishing with emotion instead of calm. My parents would spank me, but they'd also sit down and have conversations about what would earn me a spanking, how I'd acted that had earned me a spanking, why what I did was important, etc. I believe some sort of punishment is necessary for any child for them to grow up and physical has some great advantages over social and emotional punishments, but I really don't care about which type of punishment happens nearly as much as I care about how those punishments are determined, administered, and discussed afterwards. I'm honestly grateful my parents leaned into physical punishments. But I'm even more grateful that they generally punished with calm, reason, and love.
@@jaredwonnacott9732big agree, actions can have negative or positive consequences even if its the same action. Context is very important. Murder and self defense are 2 sides of the same coin, but the context behind them changes things very drastically.
Just going to put it out there that this is not necessarily about child labor or trafficking or anything, this is about children being able to make personal decisions. By the time a child is a teen (like I am), we begin to discover ourselves, and sheilding us from "dangerous" topics during that process can make those part of ousted communities insecure and paranoid. I am lucky to have a more accepting community, however. I go to a more leftist-tolerant church and many of my friends are openly LGBTQ+. Our minds may not be fully developed until 25, but they are capable of research and finding out for ourselves what something entails.
"The brain isn't developed until 25" is just a myth people parrot because they like an excuse not to give young people rights. It's just pop science that has since been disproven, but since it promotes an anti child agenda people like to parrot it without looking any further into it
Every SINGLE time I’ve argued with someone who uses ‘parents rights’ as an argument, it turns out to be a proxy for something horrible they don’t want to just say out loud.
I’m not really familiar with American history and politics, but didn’t the slogan “states’ rights” have much the same function at the time of the Civil War?
@@joeharris2659you would be absolutely correct! It’s almost as though there is a distinct pattern of using the idea of empowerment of one group as an excuse to diminish those of another.
@@joeharris2659 "States rights" was after the civil war. The South rebelled AGAINST states rights; they kept passing federal laws to force northern states to return escaped slaves, but the North just ignored them. They flipped to "states rights" after losing control of the federal government(northern states were not united before the war). Well okay, that is a bit of an over simplification. The South started the war as a result of the gradual lose of control of the federal government and the election of Lincoln was the last straw.
@@Amir_404 you keep fighting this fight. the truth is more important, it just serves my own ends that the truth oft shows I'm usually right about the horrid monsters that are in charge of things.
There's a bizarre dichotomy between how these parents treat actual human children and unborn babies. When it's a fetus, it has and deserves all the rights of a human. Post-birth, they do not.
That's actually a really great observation! On the one hand, conservatives are saying "pro-life, no abortions"...but on the other hand, they're also saying "parents' rights, control (and even abuse!) your children"!!!
As the late great George Carlin put it, "If you're pre-born, you're fine. If you're preschool, you're fucked. Republicans want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers."
As one quote online puts it "[The unborn are]... the perfect people to love if you want to claim you love Jesus but actually dislike people who breathe."
If you raise your kids safe, smart, and decent, you've done your job. Safe to make it to adulthood, smart to make it to old age, and decent to cultivate healthy and supportive relationships with their fellow humans.
I am a parent, and I am horrified by the “parental rights“ so I really appreciate this video. I think the thing that really bothered me about what I’ve been seeing with “parental rights“ is it’s being used where I live as an excuse to change to the curriculum and limit what my child learns. I’ve started fighting back with “what about my right as a parent?” and pointing out that they don’t have the right to control my child!
These group activities are probably questionable as Zoe Bee points out, but Zoe Bee also paints an unrealistic pie-in-the-sky picture of the child always being right and the parent always being wrong.
I was a freaking miserable kid, in no small part because my parents belittled my interests, refused to acknowledge my autism until my school psychologist got on my side, and called me a difficult teen and a burden. Now that I'm in college, they're much better. I can't help but wonder if they see me as a full person because I'm an adult now.
OMG SAME WITH ME. I am so sorry that your autism diagnosis was so late, I was 11 when I got diagnosed. I am also in college, I am 18 and a freshman. I still live with them. I do wonder that too. my mom does still have nothing nice to say but she isn't kind to my father either. I hope you are doing ok now, friendo 🙏🏻
@@caseyw1288 Thank you. I will have you know I'm doing well in my classes, I have a decent job and have made a record viewer count on my latest video. I am grateful for the friends, the teachers, the psychiatrist, and my support group on reddit for helping me along the way because my parents sucked. I hope you found your selected family, and if you did, be grateful, others dont have it. 😊
I have been saying this for awhile, but Zoe said the first part of my point much better than I could, that the current right-wing views children as property. However, there's a second bit which Zoe didn't address, "How should we look at them instead?" Because there is an existing framework that these so-called "conservatives" are abandoning, and it bears much more resemblance to another existing system rather than property ownership: disability. Being a child is a disabling condition, the effects of which lessen over time. Like children, many people with disabilities have guardians, but they are still encouraged to have and to exercise as much autonomy and agency as they can. If their condition becomes less disabling, or they receive more effective accommodation for it, they are encouraged to take on more responsibility in their lives. Lastly, their guardians are subject to routine monitoring from courts and government agencies, and that guardianship can be revoked, regardless of whatever ties of blood it may entail, if the guardian is found not to be acting in the best interest of their charge. Under this model, children are seen as being entitled to as much agency as they can handle, at a given age. It's understood that this will start out limited, and gradually expand over time. Some will be ready for responsibility sooner than others, and while it's generally up to their guardians to determine what they are ready for, the government and the courts have an absolute right to step in if the guardian is putting their own interests ahead of the child. That isn't "the government owning the child" that is the child owning themselves, with the parent holding a limited guardianship under the supervision and restriction of the law. Therefore, a child who knows that they are gay or trans is old enough to exercise their agency over that part of their life, by default. Within very minor limits, a child able to understand a book is old enough to decide whether or not to read it. The desire and capacity to do these things is all the demonstration of responsibility needed for a child to prove they are ready to exercise these rights, and a parent trying to stop them is putting the parents own personal interests and beliefs ahead of the child's rights.
I'm glad someone else put this into words because I was having threads of thoughts along these lines that I was struggling to coalesce. Society in general is lacking in relationship and autonomy models that aren't economically productive. It's basically, either you work and pay for your everything yourself, and therefore are an autonomous person worthy of agency, or you're not and thus must be controlled, monitored, pathologized, or institutionalized. Think disabled people, the elderly, the mentally ill, the unhoused, prisoners, and even the unemployed. Children, right now, fit into this.
I just turned 17 a few weeks ago, and now that I’m finally not being forced to go to my mom’s (who consistently yelled at us if we didn’t call her ma’am) every weekend, I’ve been so much happier. Before I had the choice to stay home because of her, I had to agree with her and appease her in every interaction we had. And even now, after taking a whole week long trip WITHOUT paying her mortgage that month, she said she wouldn’t spend money on us unless we spend “quality” time with her. This quality time consisted of us talking to someone who makes us clean up their house after a whole month of not being there, and listen to her anti-vax rants for up to half an hour straight, and agreeing with her on everything. Last time we were there (my sisters and I), she gave us money for food, but refused to give my older sister any because “she has a job.” While true, my younger sister also has one, but she just won’t acknowledge it (idek how that checks out), and she STILL uses it to justify hating my older sister for being able to make her own choices and be independent.
Hypothetical set of questions: "Do you believe fetuses are human beings?" "Do you believe human beings can be property?" "Do you believe kids are the property of their parents?"
1, Depends. REALLY depends, on a lot of factors. What I can say no to emphatically here is "does the foetus have more rights than the mother carrying them?" That is an absolute no!!! If the mother: doesn't want to carry the foetus, isn't safe to carry the foetus (anything from medical to trauma reasons), & so on, then she (a mother could be a trans man, intersex, or non-binary but is more likely to be she) shouldn't have to carry said foetus to term. However, a WANTED foetus will be grieved like a baby is grieved when lost, & this, too, must be respected. 2, ABSOLUTELY NO!!! Under any circumstances. Slavery is one of the WORST evils ever. I can't even stand anybody saying "the person that" when "the person who" is more humanising & grammatically correct. Even the slightest implication that a person is comparable to an object abhors me, & as a cis woman, I've experienced that a LOT. All women, POC, LGBTQ+, the disabled, the neurodivergent, & others considered not "normal allocishet white rich men" have experienced this, & I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. 3, much less a child. BIG NOPE. Children are a RESPONSIBILITY, not a right. Grandchildren are also a responsibility, not a right. Parents are the stewards, caretakers, housekeepers, janitors, of their children. NOT their fascist dictators
I have parents like this. When they found out i was queer, they took away my access to any kind of support outside of them. they are kind, loving, but dont want any outside influence. Its so confining to be viewed as something to mold into whatever shape they choose. Children are human beings, and, like all human beings, deserve autonomy, and the freedom to think for ourselves.
Speaking as a neurodivergent person who lived with a controlling and toxic stepmother for several years: There is nothing 'kind' or 'loving' about a controlling relationship like this. Providing kindness on the condition that you change who you are as a person is a manipulative tactic designed to strip you of your autonomy. I don't know you and I don't know your backstory, but calling them kind or loving in earnest both serves as a form of denial and to enable their toxic behavior.
I have been railing against this concept of 'parental ownership' since I was a teenager. It is so damaging, and it is really frightening how many parents believe they really do own their kids.
It's important to note that children can't be consenting human beings and need legal guardians to make decisions for them, so every bit of power taken away from those legal guardians (in the name of children's rights) necessarily empowers the state. The dynamic will always be between parents and the state since both will argue on behalf (and for from their viewpoints) of children and their rights.
@@8is And as anyone knows from history, to cede more power to the government, and their employees trusting their good intentions is the most catastrophically naive thing one can do.
Im a person who was taught to respect adults through being screamed at and threatened by adults. I don't respect anyone, im deathy afraid of people. Fear is not respect. I hate my family, hate my teachers ect... But i dont fight them because im horrifically afraid of them.
I've always wondered whether adults just forget that they were ever kids. Didn't they feel the same unbelievable frustration from being ignored, infantilized, and condescended to?? Did they, as children, not also promise themselves that they would always respect people younger than themselves and not make anyone else feel as helpless and disrespected as they did? Was I really the only one who did that???
I think most grown ups forgot at some point. Some probably never really cognised what had happened to them when they were younger, and others likely are of the mindset that if they had to suffer it then everyone else must too. The world of childhood is so drastically different to the world of adulthood that, like the memories of what we dream as we sleep, the memories of being helpless at the hands of grownups just vanish like mist under the morning sun. I, personally, swore to myself that I wouldn't forget the feeling of being a slave to my parents' whims. I hope I can keep that promise and live to do something about the state of childhood as it is now.
You weren’t the only one, but a LOT of people cope with the trauma and abuse they faced by constructing a worldview that says that sort of trauma and abuse is helpful and even useful. This is especially easy when such a view aligns with the dominant views of their culture.
I go out of my way to be kind and patient with children, to advocate for them, because I *CAN'T forget what it was like to be a child.* Nobody should have to go through that, and if I can make a positive impact on even *just one* young person's life, then I did something right.
I've honestly been thinking a lot lately, about many of the world's problems are caused by parents treating their children as property, instead of as people.
This """parenting style""" has always stuck with me. It lead to me having a fear of adults and a LOT of suicidal thoughts. It made me scared of growing up, because i felt like i would either a) turn out like them, or b) never fit in. It was terrifying, and it still is, but I'm getting better. Being told you're too young or too naive to have an opinion, or just straight-up be told you're subhuman is so scarring.
If you need to force the school to tell you something that the children aren't comfortable telling you themselves... ...you need to ask yourself why you're not trustworthy to them. Of course, that idea will fly right over their heads.
it can also be because schools manipulate children and if you think thats silly you dont understand why schools exist in the first place and it wasnt to teach children but to indoctrinate children to be servants of the state a horrifying example of that is the HJ that indoctrinate children so much that they snitched on their parents to be loyal
Full disclosure: I find men who force their children to call them “Sir” instead of dad or even father just a huge red flag. Their children not soldiers. And It’s not about love for them, it’s about having blanks slates they can mold into what they want. It’s like the only reason they have kids. It’s absolutely awful. Edit: Wow more people responded to this more than I thought. Nice to know so many people agree. Another red flag I should have mentioned is that when parents say they don’t care if their kids love them and only care if they respect them. Like bro that is your child, the fuck you mean you don’t care if you love you? Why’d you have kids then?
Good point. Honestly, I'm from Texas, where calling people "sir" and "ma'am" is considered normal, and even I would feel weird calling my dad "sir". Lol and I think my dad would probably make fun of me if I did start calling him sir. I just call my parents "mom" and "dad". 🤷♀️
Those and the men who are very vocal about only wanting kids because they want to "pass on their genes" by having a biological child (usually a son). They don't want a child, they want a tiny clone of themselves that they can live vicariously through, and they'll get downright abusive when that clone doesn't act "right"
Life has taken my family around the USA and we did a year in “the south”. Strangest thing ever when my daughter came home from pre k and yes ma’amed me. I got that transitioned to “yes please” in a hurry. To me, Sir and Ma’am are formal terms of respect - a type that one must earn. You don’t get it just by being alive and present - that goes for strangers and doubly so for myself and other parents. I hope my daughter never sees me with such formality and whether or not she wants to extend that label to someone else will ultimately be her choice - not some engrained habit to stroke some stranger’s ego.
This is absolutely the video I was hoping someone would make. Of course Zoe knocks it out of the park. I yelled at my computer in frustrated agreement with Zoe many times. Thank you for so clearly articulating this issue!
@@zoe_bee❤All will receive Jesus healing energy all old and aches and pains will be washed away. Takes 30 minutes best to relax and shut yr eyes. Also all who reads will receive level 1 portion of youth longevity digestion an self beauty Jesus energy wash tonight at 11 07 eastren. Negative energy will creep out yr feet tell it's time. The Illuminati aka fallen angels aliens NASA what ever you want to call them in there flying tin cans. Can't get out of lower orbit because of the vacuum. Universe is only 77 thousand SQ miles big breathable air through out space angels have to breath. Mars is only 250 miles away sun an moon are much closer an only a city big. Heaven is on Mars moon that's what all the thrusters are for space x Star ship try to punch through the vacuum and destroy Mars moon heaven. I cleaned out hell left the light's on I ripped the soul out the devil after he went dragon just to make it a fair fight. We don't know we are sheep because we don't know who the wolfs are. We always been the prey. 😊
I never understood why parents like this treat children like property. The idea that children and teenagers shouldn't have any rights of their own baffles me
Heya! Ultra-Conservative, Evangelical Homeschool Student here! You're spot on about about the "Parent's Rights" movement. I wish you had gone into more detail about the ideologies involved but I understand that would mean a 2+ hour video. On a more personal note, I went to a therapist about PTSD from the military and in the process discovered that the Army messed me up but my upbringing messed me up WAAAAAY more. Between my parents overbearing control over my life and the restrictions of the military I never had the chance to really develop my own identity or concept of self. So after a couple years of deconstructing the identities that were placed on me I am now, at nearly thirty years old, starting to think about who I am in my own right. I am now, again at almost 30, learning what I enjoy and making friends of my own instead of the ones given to me. And I have to do that with all the risks and responsibilities that come with being an adult and without any of the support or security most people have when they are developing normally. Again, thank you for your video. I'm really glad to see people talking about this and I hope it gets more mainstream.
I was extremely controlled and gaslighted as a child, and through my teens. I'm now in my mid 30s, and still struggling to establish a mindset of self determination and self love. I'm going through a crisis of regret and self loathing for allowing myself to trust my parents and authority figures in my youth. I've had daily issues with anger and sadness, because I don't feel like my life is my own, and I'm obsessed with being independent and hyper vigilant against manipulation. This kind of bad parenting does destroy lives, and unfortunately, especially as a man in this culture, I'm expected to suck it up, and no one takes my trauma seriously. It's especially impacted my ability to form relationships with others, because I am always expecting my companions to give me the love and affection that my parents didn't. My parents are good to me as an adult, and they have apologized to me, but the damage is mostly done.
This is so relevant today! In Ohio we’re voting on an abortion amendment and anti choice folks are currently arguing that kids should have to get permission from their parents to get an abortion…..
Well considering the fact that children should not be having sex, So if they are they're probably being neglected and/or abused at home anyway.... But if they're being sexually abused at home their parents would definitely be in favor of abortion because that could more easily remove the threat of them getting caught. Especially if they can claim that they were completely ignorant to this happening in the first place since their child does not need parental consent. I'm definitely against child abuse as well as sexual abuse to anybody. I'm also against murder. You seem to be insinuating that you do not feel the same way but I hope that you thoroughly educate yourself and open your mind to the truth. ❤
Even and especially disabled kids with additional reliance on others and more care needs (like myself, I'm autistic, I have CPTSD) are whole people with agency who deserve safety and respect.
I believe it means complex post traumatic stress disorder, which occurs for a variety of reasons. I will not explain it as I worry I will not do so well, but the DSM-5 has a lot of information regarding it if you are interested (this is coming from another autistic individual who also happens to have CPTSD lol)
@@thatoneguy9582 as far as Wikipedia says, it's "complex" Although I haven't seen it being mentioned outside of talks about traumatically toxic relationships
i’m 72 years old, but you’re never too old to go to college. i was 36 when my kid was born. i had never felt like i fit in or belonged, but that was just how life was. they didn’t feel like they fit in or belonged, and they set out to find out why. not only did they find out why they didn’t fit in, but they helped me find out why i didn’t fit in either and started me on the road to discovering who i am. my job as a parent has never been to indoctrinate my child, or to mold them into what i wanted them to be, but to help them become the best and happiest them they can be. i have never had reason to be anything but proud.
Turning 20 in almost a month, and yet I still feel infantilized by my mother. I have had my fair share from my dad, but we’ve grown to respect each other’s differences. It’s been rough since I haven’t been doing well mentally nor emotionally, and every time my mother pries me open into talking to her it always ends in a “you hating yourself is a threat to my sanity. You having a fit of rage is taking control from me. Think about my feelings next time and not yours”
want to comment here - my mom has outright stated to me that children are property, and it is empowering to see that what I experienced was wrong. thank you for speaking up on this issue.
Thank you for this excellent video. As a parent in Florida (until we left the state) I always found "parents' rights" to be code for taking away my rights as a parent at the expense of a subset of other parents who wanted to rigidly control not just their own children, but mine as well. During the pandemic they took away my rights to have my child educated in an environment with health safeguards in the midst of a pandemic that claimed over a million lives in America. They went on to take away rights of LGBTQ+ students and their parents for an education free of harassment where their existence is acknowledged, as well as parents of non-LGBTQ+ students for their children to be educated in an environment that doesn't foster bigotry. Then, the same story for race, only now rewrite the history that you teach to my children. Then, ban legitimate AP curriculums and strip other parents of the right for their children to excel or even get a competitive education. Then, they take away rights to ensure that our children so much is get the opportunity to simply read, adding classics that anybody with a good, well-rounded education should read to the list of casualties. They strip parents' rights to have any book available for their child to read if one person complains about it. It preemptively empties entire library shelves, virtually obliterating parents' rights for their children to have access to reading materials outside a limited, curated list. "Rights" simply don't work when they are the rights of a demographic to strip away rights from everyone else, and "everyone else" is important here. By framing the narrative as a matter of parents' rights, we are drawing attention away from the children's human rights to a high quality education.
I was born and raised in Florida. I was lucky to graduate in the 90's so I actually got a good education. However, I saw the horrors coming out of Tallahassee and got the heck out a few years ago. I will NEVER go back. Thanks for a great post.
the grossest thing i've seen in relation to "parents right's" are the transphobic manuals for parents to gaslight and cut off any outside communication of their children to prevent them being trans or make them feel guilty for it. i've seen parents offer money to their kids if they opt to not transition, i've seen then threaten to take them out of their school and cut them off from any support. they have manuals on how to do it and center your child's life on the parent
Hearing you talk about an adult man creating an imaginary conversation with a child that makes himself look good, that reminds me of the chapter in The Republic where Socrates asks a child leading questions to demonstrate that a simple slave boy will have no natural faculty for understand multiplication.
@@zoe_bee I'm sorry; I am wrong! It turns out this conversation was in Meno (also by Plato). I think I didn't realize that the excerpt we read in class was from a different work. Anyway, MIT apparently has a classics archive that contains The Republic and also Meno, if you want to read them. The passage in Meno begins about two-fifths into the text. It's a discussion of finding the square of a number to determine the area of a space with measured sides.
It just occurs to me that our car centric lifestyle gives parents an inordinate amount of control over kid's lives. Suburban living is getting a backlash from all corners of the urbanism debate; from climate concerns to density to noise pollution to physical safety. Now it also seems like suburban living is also one of the best ways to force kids to live their lives in a series of boxes. I grew up in suburbia and it was beautiful, quiet and safe. But I couldn't go anywhere too far to walk, which left the park, one friend's house and the local grocery. Want to see a friend, see a movie, go to do a sport, explore the area? You need a ride from a parent. Parent's didn't agree to drive you, you ain't goin'. This leads to kids going from box to box to box in their daily life long before they hit the workforce. Study in their room, don't make a fuss in the car, be quiet in church, work hard at extracurriculars, make me proud at school. If kids had the ability to access the wider community on their own two feet with a transit card, parents wouldn't even imagine the level of control some of these folks THINK they have.
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Ha... I read the video's title real fast before I clicked and was expecting something titled "What Panties Rights REALLY Means". Me and my drawers were so excited, but you let us down. I still watched the video though.
Zoo Bee! 💔 Who slipped KoolAid into your mug?! I thought you were somebody who paid attention and understood how broken and corrupt the public school systems are.... Is somebody paying you a lot of money to participate in this circus? Or are you offended because you are addicted to broken ideologies?
I have not heard of anybody banning books because of LGBT characters There have been LGBT characters in public school libraries for at least three generations now. At least in my state. I have not heard of anybody trying to remove those books as long as they don't contain inappropriate sexual content. The same would go for any books that contain sexual content that are heterosexual.
Not to mention that these books that people are mostly fighting have graphic descriptions and sometimes illustrations of adult sexually abusing children. And what's even more terrible is that some of these books are not displaying the scientifically objective knowledge that that is wrong and unhealthy. Obviously it's maddeningly abusive.
Or at least it's obvious if you don't have your head in the sand.
There are scientifically backed reasons why showing a minor pornography is considered abuse. This is along those lines It's pretty clean cut.
Not to mention that any parent giving taxes to the public school system has the right to have a say because they're the ones paying for it that's why it's public school and not private school. That all literally goes towards the pay of teachers and librarians and curriculum &c.
Luckily we don't live in an entire dictatorship yet so this will be about having faith that the majority of parents are not completely brain dead and will not tire of this fight.
Personally I do think that any parent that is paying attention and has any chance to homeschool should be doing that. The schools have been feeling on an academic level for a long time. Long before my generation and therefore long before this current generation.
I have found that most times people say they cannot handle homeschooling it's not true. If a parent truly cannot downsize and afford to be home with their child themselves or to have a trusted friend or family member do it; then there are co-ops, and even Charter schools are a better alternative though most of them also promote false teachings.
For example the forefathers were not Christian. Yes they promoted themselves as such in a way to market their leadership. Since the majority of citizens likely were Christians at the time or thought themselves as such.
There's much more evidence of writings by the forefathers and about the forefathers That proves the opposite. Some were outright Satanist and others were simply Catholic or atheist. This is one teeny tiny example of how society is brainwashed through the public school system.
But if it is a distance learning charter school then the parent has a better chance to guide their child away from misinformation. They can teach them how to think critically and how to validate sources better for themselves when they're developmentally ready to do so.
Parents should also be aware of that physical abuse has not been entirely uncommon in public schools either for a very long time.
Thank you for reading this, I hope you continue to read while validating your sources and thinking critically. Your brain is beautiful and meant to be used. ❤
Zoe you're awesome 👌
I was raised with physical, verbal and emotional abuse as "discipline". My mother was big on the theory that as long as i lived under her roof i was her property, and to this day (I'm 29 and live by myself) I have recurring nightmares of living back with her. Literally my biggest adult fear is being under her fist again.
One very jarring memory I have is of being 23 and asking her to knock on my door before entering, because she was walking in on my changing constantly. She turned to me and said "I'm your mother. I can se you naked whenever I want. If I tell you to strip, you strip"
That was such a gross power flex, I could never forget it
"If I tell you to strip, you strip"
That's absolutely horrendous holy crap
I’m so sorry… I’m happy you’re away from that horrendous monster…
I was 28 the last time my mother pulled up my dress to inspect my underwear. Looking back, I don't understand how I ever thought that was normal or ok.
How can she tell you to strip, then turn around and have no qualms about coming off like a pimpess or sex trafficker in the making? Does she have no idea how incriminating that is for herself?
That line if i tell you to strip, you strip is absolutely outrageous. Your mom may as well be a rapist wtf
i never realized how controversial “kids deserve respect too” was until my mom tried telling me teenagers shouldn’t have privacy and HIPAA laws shouldn’t apply to them.
Just wow man.
Just wow
the way the world, especially America, treats most living things needs a general shift of an entire Overton window length towards respect. we treat farm animals like objects even worse than how we treat kids, and we even treat adults like they're automatically deserving if mistreatment or manipulation for the "greater good", whatever that means in context, and only give them a thin line of plausible deniability that they might not being doing anything wrong out of personal convenience (or fear) of the logic of, "what if it were me?" but even that only gets people so far with their seemingly innate desire to see others suffer.
maybe im being pessimistic, but it really seems like the average person is, atleast ignorantly, somewhat evil, or maliciously so
My mom argued the same thing that kids shouldn't have any bodily autonomy with the medical system.
Reminds me of that time my mom hung a poster with my country's childrens rights in the bathroom because "they're important" and a few months later when I called her out on something she did that violated them, she told me that they weren't enforced or something and made it clear she wasn't going to follow them because clearly she knows better.
@@northernguy4262 Yeah, that happens (more kids posting than parents) when a video affects them. Don't forget that kids can have opinions too on how they should be parented. Don't forget that THEY are the ones BEING PARENTED. But yeah, I agree that privacy is *mostly* a privilege that can be revoked. But in my opinion, if a child is doing something wrong on the internet for example, unless it's a life/death situation, you should get the child's permission to disrespect their privacy.
I'm 28 and to this day my blood boils when I hear any version of "you'll understand when you're older". I was too young to have an opinion or criticise, but not too young to look after their children, not too young to be expected to act like an adult.
Well put. You're expected to have the emotional maturity of an adult without free thought or expression. I've noticed this pretty often in mine and my friends' upbringings.
That's usually code for "I can't justify it, so I'm going to stall and hope you forget to ask the question again in a few years"
Felt.
There are some unreasonable standards put on children even in 2023
Considering it’s proven that an overwhelming amount of people change their opinions once you get older they aren’t lying. Also your 28 and you don’t have kids of your own?
Speaking as someone who is "older", was an eldest child who was expected to take on adult responsibility too young, and is a parent now -- I agree wholeheartedly. I think very often that response (you'll understand when you're older) is a lazy way for people to avoid having a real conversation about their own failures.
I was raised in foster care due to (mainly) neglect. I think the rights of a child matter more than the rights of a parent simply due to the fact that they're more vulnerable.
As a former foster kid….I would agree 👍🏽
I mean also that's just the basic idea of human rights, they apply to all humans regardless of age, sex or ethnicity. You don't get to override them simply because they contain 50% of your DNA.
AMEN. Children's well being is more important than any other issue; they're the next generation. The worst crimes of society are typically by people who were abused when they were younger.
When people have chronic depression and anxiety it's often because of a dysfunctional home life.
The right to be protected, absolutely. The right to eat pizza for every meal, well, no. But of course parents should lead by example. It makes NO sense for a parent to eat pizza every night and force their kid to eat healthy food because it's better for them.
As a former child....I would agree 👍
The "kids are property" opinion is definitely the mainstream one. Our whole society is structured around it
Well yeah, we are one of the only countries that didn't sign the Child protection world treaty.
Well yeah because our society doesn’t want to take care of others kids. That’s why it’s so hard to remove kids from abusive parents.
That's why we don't fund schools properly.
That's why CPS is so critically understaffed.
@@user-th1pv6ks5othat seemed like more of a comment on the way we privately "raise" children instead community based child care
Speaking as someone who's mother converted me to Islam and moved me to another country without my consent, parents do not have a right to force on their children a religion, political ideology, sexual orientation or gender identity. What parents have is a responsibility to provide their children with security, a home, adequate neutrition, healthcare, education, and the freedom to find their own identity and purpose.
"moved me to another country" ... so your family moved and you are angry about it? Perhaps I am missing a lot of context but don't you think that to fulfill their responsibilities of security, a home, etc. a parent might need to move? How does a child's consent play any role in a family moving?
@@doomcat6426 This is a lot of assumptions, but also a child should be consulted on whether the family moves in the first place. Or what does the child not have any right to have a stable life? The right to have relationships, and feel comfortable in the place they live without it all being taken away? Maybe the family has to move, but completely disregarding the child, i.e. "how does the child's consent play any role in a family moving" is extremely shitty, and truly makes me wonder if you think children are human beings who deserve stability and friendships.
@@doomcat6426if you wouldn't like to move to another country by force, why would a child?
@@doomcat6426Sometimes moving to a different place is a requirement for survival or a better life and that should be clearly communicated to a child if that is the case, but it _is_ in fact possible to move for selfish or abusive reasons too. Wanting to isolate a partner or child and make them completely dependant on you, for instance, is much easier when you can simply force them to move into a gated or cult community where their interactions will be heavily limited and scrutinised thanks to the great distances and limits upon their resources.
Idk why you included sexual orientation and gender identity there
I always hate it when I comment on corrupt parenting on the internet, and get asked "Are you a parent?"
No. I'm a kid. Still buried in the awful mistreatment YOU fight for. I know how to treat a kid because I know how I need to be treated. _Like the human being I am and always have been since the second I was born._
Yes! Preach!
Exactly!
I'm not a parent nor a kid. But I can still remember what it was like to be a child.
Never lose that respect for yourself, it only gets more necessary as you get older
Thank you! You're so right. Some people act like no one can understand kids or parenting unless they're a parent themselves. Except ALL OF US HAVE BEEN KIDS at one point, so it's not like we have no idea how kids think or feel.
Have you considered that not every child needs the same thing as you?
Let us take myself for an example. Have had a learning disability since birth, made it real hard for me to connect ideas and many social aspects of life. Meaning that I had issues with understanding personal boundaries and what is acceptable, essentially.
At certain times I required physical punishment to learn, because I simply was *unable* to hold onto that social information without a strong other feeling. Just couldn’t do it.
I have 2 kids (9 and 7yo) and I raise them the, mostly, the way I was raised. My mom has been telling me my whole life, "You're not raising kids, you're raising future adults."
Her tactic was to treat my brother and I like people and to teach us skills like critical thinking, research, media literacy, etc. My dad taught us about history and how it showcases tendencies of human behavior, some good and some bad. We were encouraged to do things, but we were free to argue against them. Just be ready for a counter argument.
I raise my kids the same way. I don't want them to think the same way I do, I want them to think. I want them to be open to new ideas but still think critically. I want them to be decent and kind people.
I want the same for my kiddo!
Based. Absolutely based.
Reminds me of how my dad has put it (IIRC it was apparently inspired by a native american saying?); "We are really just borrowing you from your future adult selves for a short time in your life, until you can live independently. Your life is yours, and our role is simply to support it."
Not that that means support ends at 18yo to him! He still helps and supports and is there for even his 45yo adult son when he needs him. He has said about that, "Being a parent is a life-long duty. I _want_ to support my children. I will always have a duty to you."
If it's not already clear, I love him very much 🥹🫶
My other parent felt like _children_ had a duty to care for their _parent_ (even when they're a small child) because "We're family", so having my dad in my life really was so important to me, and he stood up for us a lot, and always argued fiercely against when mom tried to fight with him over that they need to have a "united front" (consisting of her unreasonable opinion ofc), saying "No, it is important our children feel that they are listened to, and I don't support [her unreasonable decision]"
I hate that this is not the norm
You are an amazing person
I had to basically bash my head into a wall until the wall broke and my parents had a mental breakdown before they actually discussed things with me instead of “I told you so”
Is intentionally causing a mental breakdown in your parents psychopathic behavior? Yes, no matter what this is not a good thing to do
Do I regret it? No the only thing I regret is continuing to break them so that they commmited die but stopped when I was around fourteen when I realized their hurt was caused by ignorance not malice (I simply didn’t understand that someone could be so horrible out of ignorance)
The worst part about being a young person affected by these issues is that, while other groups that have been mistreated can fight for their rights and stand up for themselves, kids can’t vote, kids can’t go on strike, and kids have no leverage or power. It’s an impossible loop. We need to be seen as human beings to be able to fight for the right to be seen as human beings.
Thank you so much for covering this issue!
Obviously, we adults need to fix this, but kids can also exercise power, they just don't realize it yet. The power is always with the subservient one because only they can determine when no is final and the dominant one can't make them change their mind without their permission. Refuse to go to school or work pr help around the house en masse until we adults get their heads out of their asses. Speak to newspapers. Report any and all physical or mental abuse by adultd - minor or major - to the authorities and reporters and online via libraries and social media. Make noise. Be the squeakiest wheel ever. Stand outside government buildings in protest. They shouldn't have to, of course, but cornering these gross "parent's rights" people is going to take a pincer approach, sadly.
So it's kind of systematic in the way that once you have powere you do the same abuse or disregard them, in other words it's intrinsikly thought to us to abuse power on on end and to ignore on the other. So a system that tells us to disregard others becouse that isn't my issu. If anybody want's to bother about this; I found nervous brakdowns and other some such are counter productif, so I Hope you stay healthy.
I saw someone on tumblr say that, after years of working in social care and helping people get away from abusive partners and off the streets, they don't know what they'd do if they were a kid who needed to escape abusive parents. There are no facilities for helping a child leave an abusive home of their own free will - no shelters, no programmes, no funds. The police take runaways back home without asking why the kid ran and shelters don't take unaccompanied minors.
You're absolutely right: kids don't have a lot of protections or rights and don't have any way to get them. We adults have to fight on your behalf.
Women and black people couldn't vote either. It's hard, but convincing others that we aren't apes that can be molded into what society wants has been proven time and time again to be possible.
And also, you eventually stop being a kid. (At least externally)
Disclamer - I'm not a parent. I am an involved uncle.
What I see in this movement and in many parents around me is a failure to recognize that children are not permanent. They are at least partially adults in training. One day every child will be someone else's coworker, neighbor, lover, or friend. It is not your job to keep your children in the dark, to try to protect their innocence for as long as absolutely possible. It is your job to prepare them to be adults, to teach them to interact with the rest of us in a prosocial manner.
Schooling is an important part of this. Learning the curriculums, yes, but also how to interact with peers and external authorities and people who are different from them in many ways.
This takes parents relinquishing some of their perceived control. Otherwise you children will enter adulthood with the internalized belief that you are the ultimate authority on everything. That is not a kind thing to do to them.
It's not a kind thing to do, but many of the ones doing this sort of thing are not kind people. They don't care about the independence of their child. To them the child is little more than a cudgel they can swing against perceived iniquities of the world; a soldier in a neverending cultural war. The children's lives are not their own any more than are their parents'--they are indebted to and on some level enslaved to the *culture.* And the whims of the culture must be served.
As someone who was homeschooled up through high school, even now, at 35, I *still* have trouble making my own decisions in life without an authority figure to tell me it's the right thing, so I heartily agree with you. Every decision I made was tightly monitored and controlled by my parents, who thought it was love. Making any decision they disagreed with resulted in a painful, humiliating spanking. These days I suffer from pretty bad decision paralysis that I'm in therapy to try to overcome, and I think it's because I was treated this way. If you try to make all of your kid's decisions for them, you end up training someone who is incapable of knowing what they want for themselves in life, and that leads to lots of problems.
I know this is an ancient thread at this point, but I want to put what you just said much more brutally. For the record, I say this in support of your point.
A parent's job is not to protect their child's innocence. That's impossible, it _will_ be shattered eventually, that's the nature of the world. Bad things happen sometimes. No, their job is simple. Their job is to shatter that innocence themselves, in a controlled fashion, no matter how much they might not want to, in order to keep that shattering from shattering *_their child_* with it.
Uncle grandpa
@@iboofer I think this is perhaps uncharitable. Ernst Becker had the idea of "hero projects," basically projects we undertake with the end-goal, whether or not we admit it, of "immortality" in some metaphysical sense. Some people sculpt beautiful statues, some people write thousand-page treatises, and some try to mold their children into play-dough Mini-Me's to proliferate their ideologies, beliefs, understandings, values, etc.
We’re at the point that it is radical to respect a child’s humanity. It shouldn’t have to be this way. Great job as always Zoe.
Except children's humanity is being respected and you literally just said nothing. You can't even explain in what way children are being disrespected, like, according to you radical left wingers literally raising your children at all or teaching them anything at all is a form of abuse. Unless of course it's YOU, teaching them YOUR beliefs... then it's holy work.
So how old do they need to be before you molest them? That's where this logically ends up. So what is it pedophile? Do you have any human decency left?
It's... been this way for centuries. Children being treated as property is, unfortunately, fundamental to our culture.
@@rhael42 Its necessary. You're making no argument other than the obvious. If pedophiles get children "liberated" they can rape them freely.
You people are genuinely evil. You should see this is where this is pushing from the fucking *STARTING LINE!* Troons were just a trojan horse to get the pedophiles teed up for a hole in one.
@@rhael42 Right. Because as property of their parents, they have protection from these weird creepy perverts who are fighting for "child autonomy" for very sick, disgusting reasons.
she touched my head. i told her not to. "you're my property, i can do whatever i want with you."
still sends chills down my spine
Damn
I just turned 19
I'm afraid to cut my hair like I always dreamt of because apparently my hair is no mine, it's my mother's...
One day, one day...
The dehumanization doesn't seem to stop once we reach adulthood😢
Similar to this, when children grow up and stop allowing their parent to mistreat them, the parent starts blaming everyone that child met and befriended and was introduced to or even read articles about online, they will reach far and wide to the ends of the earth just to believe their child isnt just thinking for themselves.
similarly, all of those will be the explanation for why their child cut them out of their life, because _surely_ they weren't to blame
I came out as trans and my parents immediately blamed my trans girlfriend for coercing me into transitioning.
I met her months after I changed my name and pronouns. I told them this. They didn’t believe me.
This is happening to me right now
@@naruske97 The reason I wrote this comment was because that exact conversation had happened maybe an hour before I posted it lmao
Why do people always seem to find it so hard to take responsibility?
Maybe I’m a nerd, but the show Supernatural has one of my favorite quotes about children: “Kids ain't supposed to be grateful. They're supposed to eat your food and break your heart”
You're not a nerd, you're a moron who thinks shitty TV is profound.
Uncle Bobby
it's really true too. It's a brilliant quote
Supernatural quotes, I have been summoned.
Based Bobby
I’m a middle aged man now, but I was one of the lucky few kids who had those abusive, controlling parents but was able to emancipate themselves. Now I’ve got four boys and the defining feature of my parenting style is equality and respect. I’m determined to be the parent mine never were.
Glad to hear it man. I hope it goes well.
good for you! im glad your kids have a good dad that give them the respect they deserve
Preach Brother! Amen!
Much respect. Good luck to you my guy.
I wish you luck! You’ll be an amazing dad!
Teaching children to submit to authority rather than thinking for themselves is the opposite of education.
Hot take if you're a parent, that's a privilege, not a right. Every kid deserves good caring parents, not all parents deserve kids.
That's not a hot take, buddy :D
@@maxchess6734apparently it is for some thick skinned "parents"
@@loreyxillumina if it is for 1% (and even for up to 30%) of parents, it is not a hot take...
@@maxchess6734 true that
No one has a right to kids
Children are discriminated against in so many ways that most people never talk about.
1. Assault and battery against them is legal in many places under the guise of "corporal punishment."
2. They are legally forced to be in schools, most of which don't have proper heating/AC or provide free lunch.
3. They're able to get jobs and have their income taxed, but aren't able to vote (straight-up taxation without representation).
4. Authority figures punish them for practicing basic self-defence.
5. They're constantly used as ammunition by hateful reactionaries that actively harm them.
6. Their reports of actual abuse and mistreatment are seldom taken seriously.
7. They're treated as wrong for rebelling against their parents, even when they have perfectly good reasons for doing so.
8. They're automatically assumed to be stupid and immature in every context, just because of their age.
9. Don't even get me started on the shit people do to neurodivergent kids.
And if you ever complain about any of this as a child yourself, good luck getting anyone to listen to you. Your opinion means absolutely nothing to the majority of people. It's sad.
I think minors (by this, I mean teens 15-17) should be able to work if they want to but not be taxed at all until they're 18. Either that, or they should be able to vote starting at 15.
Well said.
@@mynameisreallycool1there are people who earned their political rights way earlier than 18, and also there are some who are past even their 40's and shouldn't be able to participate politically.
the unfortunate thing is that the latter is way easier to be applied thand the first, and for the wrong reasons. 😢
In many states in the US minors can be married with parental consent but have to right to file for divorce until age 18. Child marriage is alive and well in the US.
@@louhortonsculpturethank the mormons!
I'm 17 years old and I recently had a conversation with my dad about Sex Education at my school and how I don't feel like it's as efficient as it could be (they just teach abstinence) and he blew up into this long monologue. In the end, his point was that parents should get the right to CONTROL what kids learn about sex and how much they should learn on the topic. He implied that gym teachers and other people who are assigned the role of the sex ed teacher don't fully know what they're talking about. I hate the fact that I couldn't have an opinion on the topic because if I did, I would be considered an "inexperienced child" who doesn't know what she's talking about.
Well, those teachers probably don't know what theyre talking about, but neither do parents opposed to sex ed! 😂 I learned most of my sex ed from the Planned Parenthood website, the Sexplanations channel, and my doctor. Tbh the most important lessons I learned were just about good practices for health in that area of my body (like avoiding ANY scented products in that area, quickly changing out of sweaty or wet clothes, wearing natural fibers instead of synthetic, tight pants can lead to irritation and infection, etc.) The condom and birth control thing was made fairly clear, but the little details of caring for that part of your body (beyond "wash regularly" and "use pads") were not something ANYONE discussed with me.
Hang in there. You're doing okay.
That's a HUGE part of sex ed that is NEVER taught! Proper care for your own bits.
It's probably why SO MANY PEOPLE still think:
- You need to wash INSIDE the vagina
- You don't need to wash the whole penile area
(also, can we talk about how women are made to be OVERLY clean, as if we're dirty naturally, but men are not nearly as concerned about their own genital cleanliness, as if they are naturally more clean???)
- That douches are okay or good to use
- That tampons take your virginity
- That every girl has a hymen and no blood on her first time means she's already had sex
- That sex should HURT for a girl's first time
- That girls don't even know vaginal discharge is a NORMAL healthy thing, so it leads to girls like ME assuming I was peeing my pants a little bit all the time
- Etc
Hang in there. You're entitled to the wisdom or your life experience just like anyone else. Just keep that mind open, I know it's hard when so many voices get amplified telling you you don't know what you're talking about.
i mean teachers teaching about stuff should have an understanding of what their teaching in 10th grade at my highschool all kids were required to take a basic health class that wasn't too in depth on sex ed but gave us everything we needed to understand
One of my students, about your age, put together a complex discussion of how relatively liberal Australian sex ed reproduces patriarchal norms. I can only extend my sympathy to your situation, but it's improving all the time.
And apparently "parents' rights" was also a thing in the 70's...when desegregation in schools was happening. And I think thats all we need to know.
70s school were desegrageted
Think mid 50's
Its the same people still pushing hate & division and calling it parents rights, perhaps even states rights. Anti-LGBT rhetoric is a tenet of white supremacy.
@@SB-iy9vn It was signed into law, yes, but it took until the 70s to have it fully desegregated in much of the South.
Wait… what? @Ranixo286
Splain it to me like I’m 10 years old….
which I was in the 1970’s.
Were you?
@@nacholibreri my grandparents were teenagers in the 60s and 70s in the south, desegregation was declared law in ‘54, but many MANY districts in the southern US refused to desegregate, took the feds stepping in and making it happen for it to actually occur.
My own grandparents watched it happen, my high school was historically black, and when desegregation started my grandmother had friends whose siblings were made to switch schools to mine. And she described their parents as being “less than happy” about it, and because of the history of my hometown? Yeah, its not because of their kids going to a different school.
This issue is even worse for disabled kids- constantly having their needs dismissed/ ridiculed. And in some cases they can be subjected to abusive ‘therapy’ like ABA with the goal of modifying behavior with reward/punishment instead of helping the child to understand and accommodate their needs.
Yeah- ABA is conversion therapy, people need to remember that.
I was going to work for an autism learning center using ABA to help severely autistic children…how is ABA abusive?
They deny them food, water, medical care. They physically abuse them by beating them and electrocute them. The bastard who started Aba was a damn torturer and sadist nothing more.
@@BlapwardKrunkleit emphasizes compliance and conformity, and can be extremely emotionally distressing to children. The use of punishment in ABA has also been linked to trauma and other negative psychological effects. It doesn’t teach people the skills to better navigate the world, but rather punishes them for behaviours considered “abnormal” such as stimming. There’s more information online if you want to know more
@@BlapwardKrunkle The simplest answer is, it's right there in its own self-described goals. It wants to try and make autistic kids indistinguishable from their neurotypical peers. That might not seem so bad at first glance, but think about it for a second. How would we be indistinguishable, to who, and to what benefit? By heavily policing our outward expression, and done in order to make the neurotypical people around us more comfortable. Have you ever heard of masking in this context? It means hiding our real selves and our autistic outward expressions behind a neurotypical mask, and it's exhausting. And getting us to do this is the _stated_ goal of ABA "therapy." It's rather similar to the idea of a "therapy" designed to make gay people indistinguishable from their straight peers. You know, gay conversion "therapy." Which, in case you didn't know, ABA was a spin-off from originally. Because quite frankly, it gets _so much worse_ the further back you look, and remnants of that old conception still poison the practice to this day even if you want to talk only about the ones that make the attempt to care (because some don't).
Now, I will be as fair as possible, and acknowledge that some people who have had really rough times can find some benefit from
ABA. However. They could get that benefit from a more responsive, compassionate variety of therapy more responsive to autistic expression being valid and accepted, that merely sought to help people be the best versions of their entirely autistic selves that they could be.
my mum once stole the emergency keys i gave to other relatives and broke into my apartment and threw a fit of rage as i tried to throw her out and in her blind rage she admitted that she sees me as her property so taking the stuff from MY kitchen is her right
you could probably have her arrested for that
She should be locked up for that.
I’m a 72 yo retired teacher who is concerned about what’s happening in education. Parents like the ones you discuss are making the work of educators so hard. Thank you for your videos which explain the situation so well.
Making work harder today, making life harder tomorrow. Fixing the problem one communist shitrag at a time.
As a Dutch person, but not someone who teaches, I'm concerned as well: the religious, anti-LGBTQI+ based doctrine is flying over to my country as well, and this year, due to lies spread similarly like done by organisations like Mom's for Liberty, there was a massive hate campaign.
According to an extreme-right website, and another super ultraconservative organisation in my country, there were lies spread about children in 4th grade 4 (you are about 7-8 years old here) being taught anal sex, children in 3rd grade were told to start experimenting with their genderidentity, and what not.
It led to threats against the organisation who made the lesson materials (and, might I add: age-appropriate ones at that) and it caused heightened police presence in my street because of the (religious!) primary and elementary school around the corner from where I live, because they would be fully participating in a theme week surrounding sexual education for the first time, and had received threats as well as a result.
Parents were also shouting how they were going to keep their children home, and were verbally threatening teachers to leave the children alone.
This all happened in a country that used to be capable of having pride over the fact that with some subjects, we had a progressive, tolerant view, based on the idea you are much better preparing children for the rest of their life by for one thing, giving them comprehensive sexual education, because research continues to show that the better they are educated about it, the later they start having it, and should problems arise, the better prepared they are.
Other subjects were treated with a sober approach to it, and this kind of extremism used to be countered by people making sure to let those holding those views know they were not welcome and should mind their words.
The weirdest, and scariest thing mostly this time, was that it was easier than ever to disprove all the lies spread: the lesson materials are made available online for everyone to see, mostly so that parents can check them out so they are prepared about the possible questions their children might have, or simply if their children want to continue the conversation about it upon coming home.
But every time you tried, you heard: "They took it out obviously because of all the criticism! Don't you get it!?"
Next to this, some talkshows in my country also completely failed to do their journalism right: some invited the "concerned parents" (celebrities, mostly, who with having children of their own decided to help spread the lies on their own social media platform....) and instead of giving them a massive slap in the face by showing all the lesson materials and ask them where the explicit lesson materials were in those packages, these people got a massive platform to spread their lies and "concerns" and "how bad it was that we as a parent are increasingly losing the right and possibility to find out what our children are actually learning in school", and felt a massive justification in believing in said lies as a result.
I fear for the next year this theme-week comes around honestly... I am scared a part of my country suffered a massive form of brainrot due to social media shoveling exactly the kind of hateful, anti-gay and anti-trans rhetoric through their mouths and reinforcing "what they always thought was already happening".
72 years...
well that's a long **cking time so I have questions:
how was teaching different back then?
in what decade did you start teaching?
I hope you have a lovely day!
I am and always have been FAR more concerned with my daughter's rights as a human than mine as a parent. I am her father as much as she is my daughter. There is NO sense of "ownership" and I have always actively avoided such an attitude. I think it was effective based on her behaviors at 22. Extremists parents on the Right do not only want to exert "ownership" over their own children, but they want to exert ownership over my child as well. This is fascism.
See, that right there says Zoe Bee is out of her mind when she makes SO many implications in her video that parents mostly want to own their children. I never wanted to own my son. I've only got a few more years with him before he moves away on his own. I want him to think, "You know, my dad didn't always agree with me, and sometimes he wouldn't let me do the things I wanted to do, but I know he always had my best interests at heart, and wanted me to grow up as a man who can choose whatever road he wants, but preferably a road with wisdom and peace."
@@theboombody : In that case, you are not like a significant number of parents.
@@theboombody
For the most part she's right, parents like you are incredibly rare and you would do well to understand and remember that.
Maybe I'm biased since I'm not a parent, but I think too many parents have it in their heads that their kids are not separate persons from themselves.
Or are just the property of the parent...
Idk if it matters if you have kids or not when so many parents aren't even trying to hide that
Honestly, as someone who was constantly pressed to conform to the expectations of my mother up until my twenties, you’re probably right.
You're totally right. I'm very fortunate in that my parents have always valued my siblings and I as individuals, but SO MANY parents just view their kids as extensions of themselves that they can do whatever they want to. It's why a lot of close-minded parents get so angry when their kids come out as LGBTQ or express different political opinions; they're actively going against how the parents view themselves.
@@hagoryopi2101 Bruh, you're bringing up an entirely unrelated topic from OP's point. We're talking about how too many parents think they OWN their kids, not that parents shouldn't ever make any decisions for their kids.
I was raised with verbal and emotional abuse. When I saw how the “parents’ rights” advocates talked about their kids my brain went “OHH! Hey I’ve seen this one before! This is just dehumanization and abuse masquerading as protection!
…oh.”
Thank you for making a video about this, it was really well done.
"OHH! Hey I've seen this one before!..." 🤣
Me too but damn, that reaction is funny. In a twisted wow that never should have happened kinda way.
@@spiderqueen6865 agreed. talk about looking into a mirror
Funny how it's always people raised with abuse that want the state to be their stand in parental figure.
these conservatives steal our words and re-define them to hide what they really want to do ... abuse. That's the real word that they are trying to hide under "Parental control"?
Sure..you have control as a parent. You get to dictate meals and timing and activity. You get to control the environment so that random strangers can't enter. Just approved guest list.
But that's what you do for a 5 year old. Nobody remains 5 years old. This is absurd levels of controlling abusive behavior that one would never tolerate as an adult.
It's just a clever marketing game so that the other people don't really realize what it is. It's definitely unhealthy behavior. It speaks to certain conditions in these parents that they would want to be so controlling and to not recognize their children's autonomy. The problem with this conservative theft of our words, either by removing them from the public square or re-defining them, is that without words, how can we call out evil?
I had a slightly different experience because mine was far more about manipulation and was never as open as what you're describing. But I dont think I am ever going to stop being mad at them for thinking they know better about myself than I do. Nor being mad at other people who think the same of their kids. I dont understand how someone can grow up as a child and then go on and do this stuff later. Hot take: children have the same fucking rights as adults besides voting and that kinda stuff.
People need to realize that just because your child has your blood & genetics, that doesn't mean they are a "mini you". They're not mini versions of their parents, they are literally their own people. I see a pattern of parents being loving towards their infant child, but the moment they start talking & speak their mind about their wants & needs, they get annoyed, even abusive towards them because they are not a cute little pet anymore. Kids are not pets. They are not projects. They are not here to complete you. Thinking kids completes a person's life is so toxic & puts way too much pressure on a child. Kids are human beings that are gonna grow up to be adult human beings who speak their own mind & do their own thing. If you can't accept that, then please for the love of god, do NOT have children.
@@JoeWicke your kids should have power over what your kids think and you should learn to cope with the fact that they are not your property.
@@JoeWicke Your kids are fully autonomous, individual human beings, you don't get to decide what they can and can't think. You're their parent, not their owner.
@@JoeWickethey should have just as much control as you do, none.
On both sides of this debate people are trying to control kids, whether the parents or the State. They are vulnerable little minds up for grabs and somebody is going to train them and condition them. Being honest about what this battle is about is high pressure, I know, but then that's democracy. Do we believe in the sexual rights of parents, the power rights of the State or the rights of children to spit on all parties and go their own way? If it's the later they won't choose school attendance and they may find nobody feeding them unless we create a welfare system designed to care for such little independent thinkers. Foster homes are infamous for sexual abuse, or else maybe we could let them live on the streets like in Moscow and do sex work?
I don't know how many times I've had to tell people my child and I are very different people. You are there to give them the tools and support to navigate life on their terms NOT mold them into what you want.
I am 17 years old, and I distinctly remember getting in an argument with my conservative mother and I said “I’m a person I have rights”
and she responded with
“You are a child you have no rights”
Edit: I’m an adult now fuck you guys
So sorry
@@chris135x LMAO you're actually saying minors don't have rights? What a friggin massive red flag. GROOMER ALERT!
@@chris135x bait or mental retardation, pick.
@@chris135xjokes on you, a lot of people already never got any help from their parents to survive in the real world.
Your mom is correct, but its not that its a good thing. Children are legally their caregivers property, and many parents take advantage of that. My parents included, but sadly I'm 14 and I still have to wait 4 more years to finally leave
When it comes to corporal punishment the best thing I've heard is "If they are too young to be reasoned with, why are you hitting them? If they are old enough to be reasoned with, why are you hitting them?"
Exactly. And every other group in society is protected from such abuse…except the most vulnerable.
Another good argument: It is said that you should never hit a dog when training it. If you can train a dog without hitting it, why should you have to hit a child when training them?
@@kathrynmyrick1739 I must be a terrible horrible evil animal hating Nazi for occasionally hitting a dogs nose or butt with a rolled up newspaper or magazine then. I also love how you compare human children to non-sentient animals. If we 'trained' human kids exactly how we train our pets, we'd never teach them to speak.
@e-w-4174 I said USUALLY and I STAND by that, and you can take your strawmanning and misquoting me and shove it up your ass.
@@remo27I wouldn't go as far as "animal hating Nazi" but you don't sound like a person I'd want to be around. The dog analogy isn't literal.
In the long run, hitting kids teaches them to be afraid of you. It doesn't teach them why whatever they did was wrong. Once they hit 18, they're leaving and never looking back. If you can't find other ways to teach kids than to smack them, maybe you shouldn't be a parent. And don't hit your dog either.
Also, if we lowered the cost of raising a child, we would defang the "I own my kid because I pay for them" argument. Just another reason to improve social services, as if we needed more.
I don’t think so. If a parent has that kind of mindset, no amount of support network is going to change them. If they so much had to spend a dollar a day, they’d have the same argument. If they had to spend NOTHING, they’d argue that well, I let you stay in this house.
@@GrumpyOldFart2 Or "i had to go through labor for you" or "i had to care for you". Such parents are just kinda unfit to be parents ig
Perhaps it would remove the 'I paid to have you' -> 'I purchased you' link but, sadly, it wouldn't remove the mentality.
People in countries with nationalised healthcare express similar sentiments using food, clothes, and housing as the excuse.
That argument holds no merit either way "I clothed you, gave you warmth, shelter and food." is the bare minimum, it's what you sign up for when you have a kid. It's like saying you're a great pet owner because you put your fish in water
@@PaKalsha yeah. Seems more linked to conservative beliefs imo
Having parents who have encouraged me every step of my life, no matter if i was rebelling or losing my faith in christianity or telling them i was trans they have never tried to censor my sight of the world. I thank them everyday for letting me explore as a kid and find myself BY MYSELF without them meddling in it all.
Funny how "parents' rights" so often goes against the rights of parents like yours to support their children
@ninjoshday precisely! They take away the choice to let their kids explore and make the decision for them :/
So, they were OK with you playing with metal objects in electrical outlets? Did they let you run in the road so you could explore being hit by a car? Part of the job of a parent is to protect and guide that child until the child is old enough and experienced enough to make those decisions.
@@BryanTorok what a fucking strawman
@@BryanTorokscream is talking about normal teenage behavior: mostly rebelling against society’s norms and exploring how they fit into various aspects of this society. You’re talking about putting metal objects into high voltage AC lines.
You do realize these are not the same thing…right? You do realize how belittling you’re being…right?
I've seen that having books about human reproductive organs, puberty, sex, consent, and abuse leads to more kids who are being sexually abused to be able to know what is happening to them and then ask a trusted adult for help.
You can't tell someone you're being sexually abused if you don't know what sex is. THAT'S why they don't want it taught in schools.
Bro gets it
You've seen it hmm?
I don’t think that’s the reason why. I think it’s a very, very unfortunate consequence among many other very, very unfortunate consequences of hundreds of years of repression when it comes to even the mere mention of sex or sexuality
The number of arguments I've been in where one side goes "you don't know what it's like to be a parent" and I go "no, but I do know what it's like to be the child in that situation and I ended up moving to a different country twice to get away from the kind of parents that made the decisions you did".
I love little phrases that encapsulate large needs. Definitely taking this, thank you for sharing.
A while ago I was talking to a family member about how some parents of intersex children will have cosmetic surgery on their infant children’s genitalia which some have reported causes lifetime pain and/or sexual discomfort. I made a comment along the lines of “I don’t think parents should have the right to have cosmetic surgery done on infants” and I got a huge rant about parent rights and how they should be able to do whatever they want with their kids
You should see the audacity of the parents once the child finds out what was done to them once they realize they chose the wrong one, and now the kid is trans. Or that they had been mutilated in the name of conformity and lose all trust in them for hiding it. I know from personal experience that it's NOT pretty, and I'm lucky I survived.
@@etherweb6796 Ok you are assuming that sex reassignment surgery is being done on children. I can assure you it is not common whatsoever except in the case of intersex infants. As even the most supportive doctors always have the health of the patient at heart, it's a process to get approved that takes years of interrogation that is only considered for teenagers at earliest. You assume corrections by surgery are bad as a whole don't you? And are hiding behind that "think of the children" angle like a coward like the rest of the the regressives. Every time someone uses hypothetical children as pawns in politics, you are hurting real people who don't have the right to speak for themselves yet.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that said family member also claims that gender affirming care for trans kids is "mutilation". (Never mind the fact that they generally don't do surgery until they're 18, but transphobes all seem to believe it's the go to option...)
Your legally can’t get a surgery like that until 14 with parental consent anywhere in the country lmao. I’d talk to that family member about where he’s getting that info.
@@etherweb6796 considering my step bro is trans, went through it as a teen and is now much happier, healthier and overall brighter then ever disagrees with your bigotry.
The fact that the Conservative premier of Manitoba recently admitted in an interview that she would force teachers to inform parents about their children's reports of abuse by those same parents tells you everything you need to know.
Between the 'parental rights' bullshit and the PC's official policy of "If you can get your victim's body into a landfill, we won't go looking for them", it's a dangerous time to be a Manitoban kid with bad parents...
Yikes.
I mean im in Aus & as a 10 year old I told a teacher I trusted exactly that. She proceeded to tell me she had to tell my parents because I was being harmed? (By my parents?) that it was duty of care. After screaming, crying, begging with her she called my parents, gave me a hug and sent me on my way. Gee I wonder if that lead to a productive discussion or literal hell on earth for the next month. No wonder why I have trust issues ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I would genuinely tell parents to suck shit through a straw. My brain actually starts to itch when I meet parents who don't deserve to die alone
Yeah, politicians will pander to their base instead of trying to solve real issues (looking at Quebec's premier, who wants to create a commission on gender neutral bathrooms in schools while we lack schools, teachers, food to feed the kids and a chunk of them have to work to support their family).
My mother spanked me ONCE as a child. Y'know what happened? From that, i learned that hitting was ok as long as you are angry with someone, and I proceeded to start smacking and punching other kids at school. My mother stopped spanking me and whattdya know! I stopped hitting!
You literally just contradicted yourself based on one of your previous comments
Saw a frustrated kid at a supermarket hitting his aunt.
She threatened to hit him if he didn't behave how she wanted.
GEE, I WONDER, WHERE DID HE LEARN THAT VIOLENCE IS AN EFFECTIVE WAY TO GET THE DESIRED BEHAVIOR IF YOU'RE FRUSTRATED?
My dad used the belt on me about 4 times growing up and never used anything else. That's 4 out of the 6,000 plus days I lived with him. He never did it in anger, didn't swing it very hard, and only reserved it for when I did something really bad, which is why it was so infrequent. That taught me that I can't just do whatever I want and expect no repercussions for my actions. It also taught me that if I lie to somebody they're eventually going to find it out. People learn differently from different situations. So while the belt worked on me, I know it does not work on everyone. I certainly wouldn't recommend it be used often, if at all. My mom and dad also saved up a decent sized college fund for me and that sure as heck helped me out later.
@@theboombody I don't recommend it at all personally because op's case is more common than not. My little sister only got spanked twice but now she hits ppl w belts
Not hate; wrote this for future/current parents as a kid myself
I have a son and a daughter. My son is in middle school and my daughter is in elementary school. Before I became a parent, when I was still thinking that was something I could completely control and plan, I had a conception of the father I would be. Boy was I off! I had my plan and conception, but my kids had other ideas. We clash. They push me. I push them. We both make bad decisions we regret and will hopefully learn from - especially me. What I have concluded, after a little over a decade as a parent, is that my kids are actively growing to become adult people, right from the start. My role is to guide and instruct, not to force and indoctrinate. I set up a framework, and help them fill it in. I show them the paths and give them a map and walk along with them. But there will be times, even while they're still very young, when I am not there to help fill in the frame or lead them down a path. For those times, I hope that I can be a voice to guide. Hopefully overall an example of what to do, but also inevitably and example of what NOT to do. I'm a person, fallible and hypocritical, with NO IDEA what I'm really doing. And so are they. When we travel the path together, they can show me new things and new paths I haven't seen. When we fill in the frame, they can show me new methods and add frames themselves. That's what makes parenti g such a beautiful (and ugly) experience.
Such a thoughtful, gorgeously-written comment.... Thank you for sharing your experience with us all, and so eloquently as well! The line between guiding and forcing can be blurry at times, but it's heartwarming to hear that both sides of these clashes-not just the kids, but the parent as well-are striving to be accountable, recognizing and growing from your regrets and mistakes. ❤❤❤
No kidding! Kids are not what you think they'll be.
Kids are hard. My parents are pushing for me to have kids, but I’m just focusing on getting out of the house more to meet people socially so that is even possible. When they (or even if just one) are born while they grow up I will be learning too so we can both survive together. It sucks though because I am the least qualified of my family with the health stuff I got, but I want to help to support properly too. It’s odd that in the least socially capable yet I’m the most determined to help them be their own person and thinking of being a parent at all.
I’m 22 now, but growing up as a trans kid was traumatizing to say the least. Minors have very little bodily autonomy, so even though I had a dozen doctors and psychologists that recommended medically transitioning when I was 16, my mom overruled all of them. I ended up starting hormones on my own a few days after I turned 18.
And honestly, my experiences weren’t that bad. I had so many friends whose parents wouldn’t let them defy any gender roles. I knew many teens that kept their trans identities a secret from their parents at all costs because they knew they hated LGBTQ+ people. Several of my friends were sent to “Christian therapy” after coming out to teach them how they were sinning.
We had a couple teachers in high school that were very supportive of us. They were mostly English teachers, actually. My sophomore year English teacher was the first adult to ever call me by my chosen name. A couple of them came to support me when I spoke at a rally for trans youth after Trump was elected, which meant the world to me when my parents were still denying my gender. If those teachers were legally required to out us, I think there would have absolutely been a death toll. We already lost one trans friend to suicide after she was outed and sent to conversion therapy. Her family, like many where I grew up, were biblical fundamentalists.
It’s still really hard for me to process it all even after I moved out of my hometown to a more liberal and accepting city. So many of my friends are still trapped there. They’re financially trapped and still dependent on their abusive parents to survive. Mine eventually came around and basically support me now (it’s been 7 years, so they decided I was probably being serious I guess).
My trans friends and I have talked about doing everything from moving to Seattle to starting a living community with all our queer friends. We’re all still doing a lot of therapy to deal with “parents’ rights.”
Sorry for this long ramble, but it’s been a wild ride since I came out in 2016. If anything, it might be worse now since most of the anti-trans legislation right now didn’t exist when I was in school…
I hope you're alright ❤
Fuck, I'm trans and damnit, the fact that there are so many selfish people who do nothing but hate will be the death of us all.
@@twilightsilver6230we can change that
I hope
@@miajajajajajajajajajo when the boomer generation dies, there will be less of them. and then we can start making laws that treat us like equals. that will be the start, i hope.
I'm so heartbroken to hear that.
Maybe trying to set up a community for queer people, particularly queer youth, is a good idea. Maybe that could be a way for your trapped friends to escape. Pool your resources.
I hope things become better for all of you. * hugs from across the pond *
Growing up Christian, I assumed that everyone knew that most parents are insanely dedicated to the notion of controlling the children’s every thought and action.
As someone who also had this, it’s wrong for anyone to force their beliefs onto anyone else; this garbage needs to stop - I’m sorry you went through this too…
Controlling or do you really mean raising children
@@petervizzini4006do you really mean raising children, or do you mean controlling them. It sounds like it’s the same thing for you
@@awkwardukulele6077 No parents for the most part try to raise children to the best of their abilities using experience from their past. LGBTQ wants to train them into obedient drones
@@petervizzini4006 could you explain yourself?
he litteraly said controling
if you are talking about your own experiences in a chistian family i can understand
but you have to remember every family is different
maybe you were a lucky outlier
but yeah the same applies to the original coment
I am a teacher of 26 years...in Florida. I hear you, Zoe Bee, and I thank you. Children deserve to be people and as people, they deserve respect.
…you hang in there. Florida is a tough place to be a teacher right now….
There's an important distinction between "owning" a child and "being responsible for" a child, but it's hard for me to put into words all the ways that distinction matters. The main thing that occurs to me is how a "responsibility" model leads to you thinking about parents and teachers sharing responsibility for how a kid is raised, and that just makes sense. Everyone involved tries their best to teach kids something, and it's painful (or impossible) to micromanage how someone else does it, all you can really do is try to make sure the outcome is acceptable. From an "ownership" mindset, you start thinking of a child's learning as some ill-defined contract that you can sue someone for violating, which is basically impossible when you realize that kids will learn from everything and everyone around them. You simply cannot control a child's environment to that degree without it being abusive.
They do say "it takes a village to raise a child". The people who lack any understanding and reject any opinion that's not their own, those people have such a disrespect of humanity......
"Owning" a child means you care for your own feelings and wellbeing first and foremost.
"Being responsible for" a child means you care for the CHILD's feelings and wellbeing first and foremost.
I own my pet snake and I still give her more love and respect than these people give their children (I do call her dumb, but in my defense, she really is. She once got stuck in a toilet paper roll, and when I tried to help her, she actively fought against me. She's so dumb. I love her so much.)
@@sophiedowney1077 "Snakes are cute but not very bright." - Emily from Snake discovery
@@johannageisel5390 it's so true. She once escaped from right in front of me and I didn't notice, so I tore up my room trying to find her after I realized she was gone. I couldn't find her so I cried myself to sleep that night. The next morning I found her ice cold and hiding under the dryer. It wasn't even running that day. It was freezing from the start! And she thought, "yes, this is a good place to sleep. It is cold and the dust bunnies are big . I can eat the bunnies if I get hungry. I am sneaky snek. Hehe."
one frustrating part of children being viewed as property is that when a child escapes an unsafe home, very often they are forcibly brought back to it with little regard as to why they left in the first place.
Uh no. If you tell a mandated reporter that you are being abused. That HAS to get reported to CPS. Whether CPS does anything or not depends but its not because "kids are property". Animals are considered property and theyll be taken away if abuse is proven.
@@TrueEnergizerBunnies Click Per Seconds? I get average score with Cookie Clicker, y'know.
"My parents won't let me hang out in a bar past 10:00. Waaah."
@@davidarvingumazon5024 Child Protection Services.
@@TrueEnergizerBunnies "Whether CPS does anything or not depends"
And that there is precisely the problem. You can report all you want, but if the authorities are going to do fuck-all then none of it matters.
I was probably 20 years old when I admitted to my parents that I was leaving the Catholic church and that I was atheist. While they were certainly upset and hoped that I would become Christian again someday, they still housed me and provided for me. They never called me stupid and never told me I didn't know what I was saying. They made attempts to convince me to become Christian, but those attempts were always about meeting me where I was without shaming me or threatening me. I still have a great relationship with my dad (my mom has since died), and I will always appreciate that he and my mom handled that news the way they did.
Same. I don't know if I had the best that conservative christian parenting had to offer, but I sure as shit know that it was *FAR* from the worst.
I find it amazing that this generation finds it appalling when they have push back on decisions they make that are against a families tradition but at the same time demonize the same decision they family makes when they don't agree with the decision or beliefs of said family. Sounds like hypocrisy from both sides.
I highly disagree with a lot of things this RUclipsr stands for but I also don’t like people who defeat the purpose of conservatism by being lunatics. With that said I want to say I admire you for not being afraid to think on your own as well as your parents for being Christlike.
@@SinoLegionaire every side has lunatics. This youtuber included. Would you trust this loon to do law for you?
@@WillieBrownsWeiner which loon? Zoe Bee? No I would not I greatly disagree with her. I’m here to learn what the polar opposite of me believes in and why the believe in the things they do
"It is really easy to make up a conversation that makes you look good" has got Plato nervously looking at his manuscript of the Socratic dialogues
And then the shampoo bottles clapped.
"That's how my parents raised me, and I turned out fine", says abusive parent that did not turn out fine.
So much this.
"You think literally assaulting your own children is a good and normal thing to do. You did not turn out fine."
Oh. Don’t forget the fun quote, “don’t tell me how to raise my child”
“I have a name, mom.”
My mom wasn't abused by her parents, but she did a number to my sister and I. Then as adults she literally said we turned out just fine and all sorts of other gaslighting shit when we confronted her. She died from cancer last year, and I really do miss my mom, but I sure don't miss the antagonism she created.
"I turned out fine" sir, no you did not, you are absolutely insufferable. Go to therapy, you'll be thanked by literally everyone around you
@@ytgytgywhy would you miss that?
One of my fondest memories as a child was having 'adult' discussions with my mom. Being treated with respect and able to explore different ideas was SO important. A lot of these parents will end up with a very superficial relationship (if any) with their adult children
Can confirm that first hand. What's so great (sarcasm) is that they don't realize it.
YES! Children being treated like shown in this video makes me sick! Treating children like objects is disgusting!
Here to testify. The most superficial of superficial.
I noticed it when I was a kid; every time someone says "think of the children!" they really mean "think of the parents!" And I'm nearly 40, so you can see the rhetoric hasn't changed.
A non-zero number of parents had kids specifically because they wanted to own humans.
So when arguing for school lunch on the grounds of think of the children. People are really arguing that we should think of the parents? Even when they do so as a person without children in a tax bracket that will need to pay more to provide the lunches?
@@nics4967 Sorry for the misunderstanding; I'm indicating the most common rhetoric of "think of the children" is applied to things like censorship and anti-lgbtq+ legislation rather than things like school lunch or really anything that makes life easier and better for children.
I just pictured the simpsons meme and i giggled
@@nics4967stop pretending to care. You’re just arguing to argue.
I dare not ask these parent's opinions on the 13th amendment.
My parents are Baptist and very conservative, thank you so much for this video. Privacy did not exist in my house. My parents went through everything I did to make sure it lined up with their thoughts and opinions. They controlled what I watched, read, said, who I hung out with. One time I was at the grocery store with my mom when I was maybe 8 and there was a cheap book bin and I begged her to buy me a human anatomy book, but she wouldn’t let me read it until she went through and glued all the pages she didn’t want me reading together. My drawings, my notebooks, my text messages, my search history were all looked at and recorded and criticized. After I came out at 13 they started forcing me to go to church at least 3 times a week and made me pray about it with the pastor. Ironically he told me to “search for truth” and at the time I was trying to reconcile my faith with my sexuality but through searching for truth I found that wasn’t possible for me. And then my parents started putting cameras in the house and when I arrived to say anything about it my dad said “my coworkers say they’d do the same thing” and my mom would say “I’d rather you’d be a miserable homeless Christian than a happy and successful atheist”. I have BPD and can’t function without smoking weed everyday now. I don’t know what the point of my rant was but this video is so important to me and I worry for all the kids who are growing up like I did, it’s horrible. “Parental rights”has been twisted so badly.
Omg buddy. Take your time to heal.
You got this.
My parents and extended family were big supporters of parents' rights, and as a kid, I thought it made sense. Now grown up with hindsight, I see the ways they were controlling my worldview. I loved science as a kid, so they bought me lots of science books. But if they saw some science they didn't agree with, they tore the pages out. They did everything they could to keep the truth out of my reach.
Edit as I kept watching: my father kept a copy of "to train up a child" in his library and was very proud of it.
TO TRAIN UP A CHILD?! AAAAAGH!
god a controlled worldview; what are the parents suddenly gods that control people?!?
I'm not usually one to leave comments but I feel compelled to share.
I'm 30 years old and I know that if the "parents rights" movement was as established as it is now when I was a child that my mother would have been on the front lines.
I don't want to go into the gorey details but my mom was the type of liberal who proudly spoke against corporal punishment and in the privacy of our home make sure not to leave marks for when I went back to school the following morning.
She knew I was gay from a very young age, she always acted like she was fine with it while also trying to convince me that I was confused and too young to know better. She kicked me out onto the street when I got together with the man I later married.
Its been about 5 years since I cut my mom out of my life and I'm the happiest I've ever been. I don't live my life in constant fear anymore, I have a family I made for myself from the ground up who love me and support me unconditionally. I'm married with a career and a place to call my own. I've reconnected with the cuture that she kept me from for so long. I have so much peace in my heart knowing that when I start hormones, if she ever were to see me again, she wouldn't even recognize me.
I know its cliché but it really... really gets better. If you're young and you're reading this your parents DO NOT OWN YOU. You are no ones property, control is not support, domination is not care. There is love in the world, it will find you and you deserve it. Even if someone tells you other wise, even if you don't believe it right now, you deserve to be loved. You deserve to grow into the person you want to be.
Zoey, thank you for making this video, thank you for standing up for those who can't stand up for themselves. Hearing you say "a child's right to safety" hit me right in the gut. I had never heard those words together and the fact thats a concept that's even up for debate is repulsive. And I'm not gonna lie... this video's poem had me crying in the club.
If you read all this, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. We'll make this world better for all those who'll come after us. No child should have to live in fear. Peace and love on planet earth 🪱🌱
Peace, Love And Plants
You are strong and awesome. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing, and thank you for the hope and encouragement you give to others. I'm so sorry for the pain you experienced and I wish you all the happiness, love and support you deserve! ❤❤❤
Do you know anyone who has set up a system for childs rights? I mean the best case scenario and how to get there with the nechessery failsafes. Becouse talking about that may be populare but the extensivety of waht needs to be done will bore any rally to sleep, also a concreate goal is easyer to work dowords than an neabulus idea and I'm not bothering to think if I would support such a plan if prevention isn't seariusly coverd in it.
I now hypokrits are frustrating, so ? .... hope your healthy, meantally to.
Still learning sochiall stuff.
As a trans and queer kid, I really needed to hear this. Thanks so much for sharing, and I really hope you and your family are well!
Wow, as a parent I thought our job was to raise free thinkers who can function as adults on their own.
You're correct
You are, but raising free thinkers also means making sure they're able to hear opposing views from what you believe and allowing your kid to make their own decision on what is right and what isn't. With education, it's apart of that, but also educating the child on specific subjects, which is something you as a parent should not have a right in determining unless you yourself have a masters in teaching.
@@jish55There doesn't seem to be any lack of opportunity for kids to hear right-wing and far-right views, though. Even in the deep blue state where I live, people are literally screaming these views through loudspeakers on street corners and waving signs at passing cars, telling children what vile abominations they are for being different. And that's not touching the right-wing channels on social media actively marketing themselves to kids. If parents are more left-leaning and their kids go outside or online at any point, those kids will be exposed to alternate viewpoints. These views aren't popular among most kids here (at least, not the ones I know), but I can't blame them for disagreeing with screaming adults who tell them they're not really people.
If that were true you'd be making sure your homeschooling your children in the first place. But unfortunately many are not and are trying to have one foot in the door and one foot out.
Which they absolutely have a right to dictate what is in the schools and what is being taught. Unfortunately part of what started The downfall of our public school system in the first place was that the majority of parents were now involved in broken families instead of nuclear families and did not have time to participate in deciding what their children were going to be learning.
The public school is still funded by parents and their taxes so they definitely get a say since the school boards and the teachers and the librarians are public servants to the parents as well as their children.
Personally I see a point in fighting against the atrocities of the school system even though I would not publicly school my children. But because of the fact that I don't want my children's peers to be brainwashed ignoramuses, or even worse to be harmed directly by these ideologies that are being pushed in public schools.
TLDR: If not a hypocrite will fight the school system being led by sexists, racists, and pedophiles so that children forced to engage in the public school system can have a chance to learn as freely as possible. ❤
Parents from fundamentalist religion reject that notion out of hand. They view their children as mere extensions of themselves.
Parent’s “rights” to treat their kids like property.
That’s all it is, all almost all “parental rights” groups are pushing.
100%
As opposed to the government's property.
@@me-myself-i787 no jackass, as opposed to human beings who are in the _care_ of their parents, not the _property_ of their parents.
You know, because they’re _actual fucking human beings_ and not god damned property.
You are a steward of your children, to borrow from Christian imagery. A steward came make important decisions about something in their control, but no one is under any illusions of them _owning_ said thing.
If anyone “owns” someone it’s the self, so you are stewarded by your parents until you can claim yourself, but you are never _owned_ by them and they can abuse their power in a way that forfeits their right to control.
It's interestingly similar to the "state's rights" arguments.
@@me-myself-i787 Do you honestly think you said something clever there?
Childrens rights are what all prior rights movements have been building up to. Civil rights, women's rights, LGBTQ+ rights, they all should apply to children, but they are the hardest rights to protect when the parents of those children are against them.
@@JoeWicke It's almost like someone's rights have nothing to do with their faculties, that's the whole fucking point
see, you have the right to comment whatever the fuck you want, regardless of how asinine it is.
@@hagoryopi2101their right to basic physical care has never been established in the United States
@@JoeWickeYou remember being a child right? Surely you must have had moments where a parent's actions went against your best interest?
Children aren't animals or automations. They have feelings and thoughts. I often meet kids that think more intuitively than most adults I've met 😂
@@JoeWicke Children have rights that are stated by the United Nations.
@@hagoryopi2101american republicans have consistently fought against children's rights to food and healthcare.
My parents used corporal punishment on me as a kid and I never realized how badly it fucked me up until recently. One time I was almost abducted at a bus stop from a grown man claiming to be asking for directions....from an 11 year old. I was daydreaming and completely out of it cause I was trying to mask due to my dad yelling at me before I headed out to the bus stop to pick up my younger brother. Thankfully there were adults around so I wasn't abducted (btw he had sped off immediately when one of the parents questioned him so he was very much not innocent). Once what had happened hit me, I started crying, not because I was almost abducted...but because I was afraid of my parents being mad at ME for almost getting abducted.
They weren't really mad at me, but they told me that I have to be more aware of my surroundings (which is fair enough), gave me a rape whistle and had me walk with another person to the bus stop for a while...
but nothing more. No check ins, no therapy, no asking if I was even okay more than a day after. They emotionally neglected me and because they spanked me when they were mad and yelled at my face for crying and responding to being spanked with fear and sadness, I was worried more about their reaction than my own safety.
That sounds awful, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Sounds awful. So sorry and please get therapy and heal. My parents used corporal punishment aswell and I was physically punished by a teacher too and they just let that happen in the UK where it's illegal 😢
Guys. It's corporeal. As in relating to the body. Not corporal. That's a military rank.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.
What you say about masking after your dad shouted at you and being afraid of your parents' reaction after the incident puts a new light on my own reactions to my parents when I was young. Thank you for sharing, and for provoking that insight.
Thanks to my father and his spanking I've had to get over my fear of men, especially larger men
To parents who say they are entitled to know their kid came out as queer in some way, I ask “why do you think you don’t already know? The kid did not feel safe telling you before telling their teacher, and there’s probably a good reason for that.”
Stop being queer then.
I'd suspect the reason is probably the fear mongering you see in videos like this. Schools and Teachers who advocate hiding things from parents are backing the wrong horse - this opens kids up to abuse from any teacher or staff member at school and parents who want to protect their children from harm would have no idea, and the school would just write it off as "bad parents"
Why is a kid thinking about their sexual identity if the parent didn't talk to the kid about it? Bc the teachers did. No bueno
@@diamondrg3556 shit, somebody's got to do it.
@@diamondrg3556 kids aren't told to be queer, they are taught that queer people exist and thats ok.
If a kid only knows and sees around him/her straight people and that is considered the norm that queer kid will feel much better talking to someone who says it ok rather than someone who doesn't discus it at all or in some cases even demonized that.
Thats what the first commenter ment
The way you phrased your response (correct me if I'm wrong) makes it seem like teachers are telling kids to be queer.
As someone with pretty good parents, it's genuinely insane the difference it makes. I'm currently 17 (turn 18 in less than a week) and I've rarely ever felt a need to rebel because my parents give me a good amount of freedom and for the most part the restrictions they did put in place have always made sense, and when they didnt, theyd always hear me out (and it wasnt just performative, they genuinely changed their mind on some things after talking about it). I especially appreciate how they handled my internet access when I was younger; restricted enough to prevent me from being one of those kids who watched an ISIS beheading at age 11 but loose enough to where I could have fun and use the internet to talk to my friends in a private space. They also handled their divorce really gracefully, maintaining an amicable relationship and making an effort to make sure both houses felt like home. No ones perfect, of course, but I wish more people could have parents like them
Well you are lucky
As a former child, i still find it hard to believe im a real person after spending most of my life as my parents dress up doll. This "children are property" mentality causes trauma well into adulthood.
As a current child, (teen technically) yea, that's already causing problems between me and my mom because I differ in views a LOT, thank goodness someone pointed this out.
I recommend you check out the play "A Doll's House" by Henrik Ibsen. It literally describes EXACTLY what you are saying right down to the metaphor of the doll. It's so fitting especially if you're a girl and/or AFAB.
Why do your views differ? Because the public school system planted foreign ideologies in your head?
@@electrifyingct4303 Ex christian and fundamentalist, need I say more, ok, I'm the ex christian.
@@Thetexianheathen Good for you. Shows to everyone that you are weak.
I grew up in a household where my mom would always proudly state word for word "you are a child, i am above you" when ever she thought i was "disrespecting" her. I certianly took this to heart and gave up trying to speak my mind around her. It was an excellent way for her to exert control over me. Ive just graduated college this year, and like many people, in college I formed my own opinions that weren't just regurgitated indoctrination from my parents. My mom's stance on me be lesser certainly didnt help my journey to becoming my own person with my own beliefs. It also crippled my confidence in myself where i assume that everyone around me is more capable than me. I doubt myself even when im right. Theres still so much for me to unlearn. And yes, my mom is definitely a "parents rights person". If she had it her way, i would have been home schooled. I cannot tell you how happy i am that she wasnt able to do that.
my mom loved saying “we are not equals” and “this is not a democracy”
My parents are very liberal and still have the “children don’t get privacy” attitude. I’m moved out at this point, and I discuss my new views on the world with them sometimes (I’m further left than they are now). I recall my dad saying “did I teach you nothing?” As if I don’t respect and value a lot of what he told me. I just have differences in my worldview, and that was enough to elicit “did I teach you nothing?”
If I'm demanding that the school tells me what my kids are doing, then that means that my children don't feel safe or comfortable talking to me.
The school needs to be a safe space for kids, and unfortunately that often means keeping them safe from their own parents.
Wait I thought its pretty normal for schools to tell parents how their kids are doing (?)
@@gustavus0013 It generally is. But if the kid is hiding something from the parent to the point that the parent needs to yell at the school and demand to be told... Perhaps the parent needs to think about WHY their child hasn't told them that themselves.
“What if the kid didn’t want to tell the parent because they weren’t sure the parent would support them” - honestly this should be a wake up call for the parent. Your child had no reason to believe you’d support them. You failed. If you’re a parent reading this and you’ve failed - just know that you can always turn things around. You don’t have to live with that failure. Giving your kid a reason to believe in you will be hard work. It’s worth it.
@@null009Wrong.
@@Afgrahamistan You've convinced me.
@thebearingedge In this case, the child wouldn't have either. There were no such insecurities or uncertainties a mere 20 years ago, and if there were, they weren't rampant as they are today. Really makes you think why that is.
@@null009because they weren't accepted or taught as widely, and people feared being killed and completely ostracized a lot more??
@@Jaesdaes Didn't happen lol. Stop living in an alternate dimension.
Hi! 19 year old here. Honestly, I don't have too much to note. At least in my case, you put a lot of the feelings I've been having about this whole thing into words in a really eloquent way.
One thing I would note is that, to your "they see their children as property" point, as someone who has spent the last year or so recovering from having to live in an environment where _I_ was treated that way, they absolutely do. They don't see us as individuals who they're raising to become self-sufficient, free-thinking adults.
They want drones who will repeat everything they believe back to them and who won't think too hard because if we think too hard, we might realize how badly we've been fucked and do something about it, and they would lose their tight grip over our entire lives.
Feudalists also push kids - and i do mean kids - into physically replicating as soon as possible; feudalist parents have such tight control over what children in their circle learn, that being autonomous people who can think for themselves is effectively impossible. By chaining these barely-grown-children to the replication treadmill, feudalists ensure nobody will ever learn enough to question.
also, why do you want power as a parent? what- you gonna rise from the grave and spank your kid until they die?
God the phrase parents rights some times feel like hearing someone saying state rights for the civil war
You can respond the same way too-"Parent's rights to do *what*?"
Edit: lmao made this right before I watched the video
The way they view children is essentially as slaves. They see children as slaves, only to people who they are related to
@@godofbooks"Parents' rights to do what? What do you wanna use those rights for? You usually don't mention that part, I wanna hear it, I wanna hear what you wanna do with them."
Very accurate, ngl
Yeah it does😂 conservatives are nuts.
That’s because it follows the same logical line as many similar situations. They wield the idea of their rights as a weapon to take away the rights of others, because they’re entitled (despite their claims that it is in fact their opponents that are entitled), and believe that they deserve their idea of their own rights should supersede the actual rights of others. Parents rights to take away the rights of children and educators, States rights to take away the rights of black people. Apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
As a trans student, I’m honestly terrified of my mom finding out I’ve been going by a different name and pronouns. Im so scared of what schools are going to to me and people like me, and I just, I’m scared
hope you're doing alright.
cringe
@@anonymousonyx7755"Cringe" says "anonymous onyx", probably a middle aged engeneer. Lol grow up
@@anonymousonyx7755imagine saying cringe to a school child about there gender. You are a loser do better
@@AA-cf4es mimimimi I'm dumb and have never read 1 book In my entire life mimimimi (that's how you sond)
This is honestly so shocking because I was never hit as a kid, neither were my brothers nor most of our friends and we were often way more respectful, polite and responsible than the kids that were. Seeing people be afraid of their parents to me is a mark of bad parenting, and not only for the obvious reason. Whenever I received an order from my parents I always understood it was in my best interest to obey it, and as I grew older I began to question them openly and we would discuss why they thing that's the best course. It's never been "shut up and do what I say" but rather "look you have to do this and you don't really have a choice, here's why" and even if that sounds small it actually makes a huge difference. If you need violence to make your kids obey it's because you are not capable of establishing yourself as a respectable authority figure. I guess that's why conservatives have such an unhealthy and paternalistic relationship with authority.
this is so right, not to mention how even verbal abuse can influence in the same way. They're both manipulation and gaslighting, just in 2 different ways
2 things. First, why would you assume it's only conservatives who hit their kids? Cause... as a teacher I can tell you it's not.
Secondly, you know the government kinda just does tell you "shut up and do this" sometimes? Like, with taxes, covid lockdowns, etc. Sometimes it's right, sometimes it's wrong, but the government is not infallible like the vietnam or war in iraq or mk ultra.
Like many things there are lots of things where the answer is the somewhere in the middle of the road and not necessarily black and white. Fact of the matter is not all kuds are the same and some need some level of control or they ruin their education not just for themselves but for others too. But that doesn't mean all control is good either.
Basically not everything is all black and white and you really can't just say it's one or the other, ya know?
@@unnamedminus I can guarantee, child abuse is heavily skewed towards neoliberals (conservatives and liberals), than progressives.
I would say that the issue isn't the physical punishment, it's the intent to inflict pain, the setting your child up to fear you, the punishing with emotion instead of calm. My parents would spank me, but they'd also sit down and have conversations about what would earn me a spanking, how I'd acted that had earned me a spanking, why what I did was important, etc. I believe some sort of punishment is necessary for any child for them to grow up and physical has some great advantages over social and emotional punishments, but I really don't care about which type of punishment happens nearly as much as I care about how those punishments are determined, administered, and discussed afterwards. I'm honestly grateful my parents leaned into physical punishments. But I'm even more grateful that they generally punished with calm, reason, and love.
@@jaredwonnacott9732big agree, actions can have negative or positive consequences even if its the same action. Context is very important. Murder and self defense are 2 sides of the same coin, but the context behind them changes things very drastically.
Just going to put it out there that this is not necessarily about child labor or trafficking or anything, this is about children being able to make personal decisions. By the time a child is a teen (like I am), we begin to discover ourselves, and sheilding us from "dangerous" topics during that process can make those part of ousted communities insecure and paranoid. I am lucky to have a more accepting community, however. I go to a more leftist-tolerant church and many of my friends are openly LGBTQ+. Our minds may not be fully developed until 25, but they are capable of research and finding out for ourselves what something entails.
"The brain isn't developed until 25" is just a myth people parrot because they like an excuse not to give young people rights. It's just pop science that has since been disproven, but since it promotes an anti child agenda people like to parrot it without looking any further into it
The fact that people under the age of 18 are treated as subhuman by society is just- nothing short of depressing and dystopian…
Every SINGLE time I’ve argued with someone who uses ‘parents rights’ as an argument, it turns out to be a proxy for something horrible they don’t want to just say out loud.
I’m not really familiar with American history and politics, but didn’t the slogan “states’ rights” have much the same function at the time of the Civil War?
@@joeharris2659you would be absolutely correct! It’s almost as though there is a distinct pattern of using the idea of empowerment of one group as an excuse to diminish those of another.
@@joeharris2659 "States rights" was after the civil war. The South rebelled AGAINST states rights; they kept passing federal laws to force northern states to return escaped slaves, but the North just ignored them.
They flipped to "states rights" after losing control of the federal government(northern states were not united before the war). Well okay, that is a bit of an over simplification. The South started the war as a result of the gradual lose of control of the federal government and the election of Lincoln was the last straw.
@@Amir_404 you keep fighting this fight. the truth is more important, it just serves my own ends that the truth oft shows I'm usually right about the horrid monsters that are in charge of things.
@@ohmygoditisspider7953No idea what you're saying here
There's a bizarre dichotomy between how these parents treat actual human children and unborn babies. When it's a fetus, it has and deserves all the rights of a human. Post-birth, they do not.
That's actually a really great observation! On the one hand, conservatives are saying "pro-life, no abortions"...but on the other hand, they're also saying "parents' rights, control (and even abuse!) your children"!!!
As the late great George Carlin put it, "If you're pre-born, you're fine. If you're preschool, you're fucked. Republicans want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers."
“If you’re pre-born, you’re fine. If you’re pre-school, you’re fucked!”
- George Carlin
As one quote online puts it "[The unborn are]... the perfect people to love if you want to claim you love Jesus but actually dislike people who breathe."
Or the joke:
"Life begins at conception, and ends at birth."
If you raise your kids safe, smart, and decent, you've done your job. Safe to make it to adulthood, smart to make it to old age, and decent to cultivate healthy and supportive relationships with their fellow humans.
I wish so much more people shared this sentiment
@@daisymurphy6832 i think most people do.
I am a parent, and I am horrified by the “parental rights“ so I really appreciate this video. I think the thing that really bothered me about what I’ve been seeing with “parental rights“ is it’s being used where I live as an excuse to change to the curriculum and limit what my child learns.
I’ve started fighting back with “what about my right as a parent?” and pointing out that they don’t have the right to control my child!
These group activities are probably questionable as Zoe Bee points out, but Zoe Bee also paints an unrealistic pie-in-the-sky picture of the child always being right and the parent always being wrong.
I was a freaking miserable kid, in no small part because my parents belittled my interests, refused to acknowledge my autism until my school psychologist got on my side, and called me a difficult teen and a burden. Now that I'm in college, they're much better. I can't help but wonder if they see me as a full person because I'm an adult now.
OMG SAME WITH ME. I am so sorry that your autism diagnosis was so late, I was 11 when I got diagnosed. I am also in college, I am 18 and a freshman. I still live with them. I do wonder that too. my mom does still have nothing nice to say but she isn't kind to my father either. I hope you are doing ok now, friendo 🙏🏻
@@bethanyboarder7751 I hope the same for you.
@@caseyw1288 Thank you. I will have you know I'm doing well in my classes, I have a decent job and have made a record viewer count on my latest video. I am grateful for the friends, the teachers, the psychiatrist, and my support group on reddit for helping me along the way because my parents sucked. I hope you found your selected family, and if you did, be grateful, others dont have it. 😊
i’ve been a “burden” to them my whole life. can’t wait to be an adult and get my diagnosis
I have been saying this for awhile, but Zoe said the first part of my point much better than I could, that the current right-wing views children as property.
However, there's a second bit which Zoe didn't address, "How should we look at them instead?" Because there is an existing framework that these so-called "conservatives" are abandoning, and it bears much more resemblance to another existing system rather than property ownership: disability.
Being a child is a disabling condition, the effects of which lessen over time. Like children, many people with disabilities have guardians, but they are still encouraged to have and to exercise as much autonomy and agency as they can. If their condition becomes less disabling, or they receive more effective accommodation for it, they are encouraged to take on more responsibility in their lives. Lastly, their guardians are subject to routine monitoring from courts and government agencies, and that guardianship can be revoked, regardless of whatever ties of blood it may entail, if the guardian is found not to be acting in the best interest of their charge.
Under this model, children are seen as being entitled to as much agency as they can handle, at a given age. It's understood that this will start out limited, and gradually expand over time. Some will be ready for responsibility sooner than others, and while it's generally up to their guardians to determine what they are ready for, the government and the courts have an absolute right to step in if the guardian is putting their own interests ahead of the child. That isn't "the government owning the child" that is the child owning themselves, with the parent holding a limited guardianship under the supervision and restriction of the law.
Therefore, a child who knows that they are gay or trans is old enough to exercise their agency over that part of their life, by default. Within very minor limits, a child able to understand a book is old enough to decide whether or not to read it. The desire and capacity to do these things is all the demonstration of responsibility needed for a child to prove they are ready to exercise these rights, and a parent trying to stop them is putting the parents own personal interests and beliefs ahead of the child's rights.
I'm glad someone else put this into words because I was having threads of thoughts along these lines that I was struggling to coalesce.
Society in general is lacking in relationship and autonomy models that aren't economically productive. It's basically, either you work and pay for your everything yourself, and therefore are an autonomous person worthy of agency, or you're not and thus must be controlled, monitored, pathologized, or institutionalized. Think disabled people, the elderly, the mentally ill, the unhoused, prisoners, and even the unemployed. Children, right now, fit into this.
This is a great articulation of how children should be viewed
Yeah... these people aren't great about disability, either.... 😬
But this is also a bad wording. You focus the negative part of being a child instead of on the positive side of being young and growing up.
I just turned 17 a few weeks ago, and now that I’m finally not being forced to go to my mom’s (who consistently yelled at us if we didn’t call her ma’am) every weekend, I’ve been so much happier. Before I had the choice to stay home because of her, I had to agree with her and appease her in every interaction we had. And even now, after taking a whole week long trip WITHOUT paying her mortgage that month, she said she wouldn’t spend money on us unless we spend “quality” time with her. This quality time consisted of us talking to someone who makes us clean up their house after a whole month of not being there, and listen to her anti-vax rants for up to half an hour straight, and agreeing with her on everything. Last time we were there (my sisters and I), she gave us money for food, but refused to give my older sister any because “she has a job.” While true, my younger sister also has one, but she just won’t acknowledge it (idek how that checks out), and she STILL uses it to justify hating my older sister for being able to make her own choices and be independent.
Hypothetical set of questions:
"Do you believe fetuses are human beings?"
"Do you believe human beings can be property?"
"Do you believe kids are the property of their parents?"
No.
No.
No.
No, no, and no
1, Depends. REALLY depends, on a lot of factors. What I can say no to emphatically here is "does the foetus have more rights than the mother carrying them?" That is an absolute no!!! If the mother: doesn't want to carry the foetus, isn't safe to carry the foetus (anything from medical to trauma reasons), & so on, then she (a mother could be a trans man, intersex, or non-binary but is more likely to be she) shouldn't have to carry said foetus to term. However, a WANTED foetus will be grieved like a baby is grieved when lost, & this, too, must be respected.
2, ABSOLUTELY NO!!! Under any circumstances. Slavery is one of the WORST evils ever. I can't even stand anybody saying "the person that" when "the person who" is more humanising & grammatically correct. Even the slightest implication that a person is comparable to an object abhors me, & as a cis woman, I've experienced that a LOT. All women, POC, LGBTQ+, the disabled, the neurodivergent, & others considered not "normal allocishet white rich men" have experienced this, & I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
3, much less a child. BIG NOPE. Children are a RESPONSIBILITY, not a right. Grandchildren are also a responsibility, not a right. Parents are the stewards, caretakers, housekeepers, janitors, of their children. NOT their fascist dictators
Not until a at least 3rd month, no and no.
1. Don't care either way
2. No
3. No
I have parents like this. When they found out i was queer, they took away my access to any kind of support outside of them. they are kind, loving, but dont want any outside influence. Its so confining to be viewed as something to mold into whatever shape they choose. Children are human beings, and, like all human beings, deserve autonomy, and the freedom to think for ourselves.
You're going to get out of there someday, and to a place you can be yourself.
I'm sorry they're like this.
Speaking as a neurodivergent person who lived with a controlling and toxic stepmother for several years: There is nothing 'kind' or 'loving' about a controlling relationship like this. Providing kindness on the condition that you change who you are as a person is a manipulative tactic designed to strip you of your autonomy. I don't know you and I don't know your backstory, but calling them kind or loving in earnest both serves as a form of denial and to enable their toxic behavior.
I have been railing against this concept of 'parental ownership' since I was a teenager. It is so damaging, and it is really frightening how many parents believe they really do own their kids.
Oh man and you're a perpetual teenager. So sorry to hear you're stuck. 🙈 LOL That explains a lot of this nonsense today.
@@ari3lz3pp Congratulations on being the problem!
@@ari3lz3ppHe's a perpetual teenager, what, because he remembers that experience and exercises sympathy and respect for people?
@@ari3lz3ppenjoy your life!
@@ari3lz3pp
Better than being a perpetual toddler
I think there needs to be a greater focus on children's rights.
Yes please.
It's important to note that children can't be consenting human beings and need legal guardians to make decisions for them, so every bit of power taken away from those legal guardians (in the name of children's rights) necessarily empowers the state. The dynamic will always be between parents and the state since both will argue on behalf (and for from their viewpoints) of children and their rights.
Yes to protect them from lgbtq
@@8is
And as anyone knows from history, to cede more power to the government, and their employees trusting their good intentions is the most catastrophically naive thing one can do.
@@8is You're not wrong but I don't consider that a bad thing. Having absolute parental power will further increase the atomization in society.
Im a person who was taught to respect adults through being screamed at and threatened by adults. I don't respect anyone, im deathy afraid of people. Fear is not respect. I hate my family, hate my teachers ect... But i dont fight them because im horrifically afraid of them.
All that has absolutely NOTHING to do with a parent's right to have a say in their kid's education.
However, you have some serious issues. Seek help.
I've always wondered whether adults just forget that they were ever kids. Didn't they feel the same unbelievable frustration from being ignored, infantilized, and condescended to?? Did they, as children, not also promise themselves that they would always respect people younger than themselves and not make anyone else feel as helpless and disrespected as they did? Was I really the only one who did that???
I think most grown ups forgot at some point. Some probably never really cognised what had happened to them when they were younger, and others likely are of the mindset that if they had to suffer it then everyone else must too. The world of childhood is so drastically different to the world of adulthood that, like the memories of what we dream as we sleep, the memories of being helpless at the hands of grownups just vanish like mist under the morning sun.
I, personally, swore to myself that I wouldn't forget the feeling of being a slave to my parents' whims. I hope I can keep that promise and live to do something about the state of childhood as it is now.
You weren’t the only one, but a LOT of people cope with the trauma and abuse they faced by constructing a worldview that says that sort of trauma and abuse is helpful and even useful. This is especially easy when such a view aligns with the dominant views of their culture.
I go out of my way to be kind and patient with children, to advocate for them, because I *CAN'T forget what it was like to be a child.*
Nobody should have to go through that, and if I can make a positive impact on even *just one* young person's life, then I did something right.
I don't get it either
They tell themselves they deserved it and so will their kids
I've honestly been thinking a lot lately, about many of the world's problems are caused by parents treating their children as property, instead of as people.
The UN has a 'childrens bill of rights' but the US has consistently refused to adopt it
What is on it?
Gotta love that Good Ol’ US of A BS
@@headphonesaxolotl www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=crsreports.congress.gov/product/pdf/R/R40484/25%23:~:text%3DIt%2520defines%2520a%2520child%2520as,and%2520freedom%2520from%2520exploitation%252C%2520torture%252C&ved=2ahUKEwim17HzuMmBAxVjnokEHRreAR4QFnoECA0QBg&usg=AOvVaw3IunjgkmcQ0rIBGMDgpOB6
@@headphonesaxolotl the right to food, medical, safety, freedom of expression, a good education, and a few other things
@@victoriajankowski1197 Alright, sounds pretty good.
This """parenting style""" has always stuck with me. It lead to me having a fear of adults and a LOT of suicidal thoughts. It made me scared of growing up, because i felt like i would either a) turn out like them, or b) never fit in. It was terrifying, and it still is, but I'm getting better. Being told you're too young or too naive to have an opinion, or just straight-up be told you're subhuman is so scarring.
If you need to force the school to tell you something that the children aren't comfortable telling you themselves...
...you need to ask yourself why you're not trustworthy to them.
Of course, that idea will fly right over their heads.
it can also be because schools manipulate children and if you think thats silly you dont understand why schools exist in the first place and it wasnt to teach children but to indoctrinate children to be servants of the state a horrifying example of that is the HJ that indoctrinate children so much that they snitched on their parents to be loyal
@@laisphinto6372missing the point entirely 🤦♂️
Yup, if a teacher is more trustworthy then you fucked up as a parent
They think that if the kid's keeping secrets it is becausw The Child Is Evil not because The Parents Aren't Trusted.
@@youtubeuniversity3638
The best part about that, is that even if they're right, that means they're a terrible parent.
Full disclosure: I find men who force their children to call them “Sir” instead of dad or even father just a huge red flag. Their children not soldiers. And It’s not about love for them, it’s about having blanks slates they can mold into what they want. It’s like the only reason they have kids. It’s absolutely awful.
Edit: Wow more people responded to this more than I thought. Nice to know so many people agree. Another red flag I should have mentioned is that when parents say they don’t care if their kids love them and only care if they respect them. Like bro that is your child, the fuck you mean you don’t care if you love you? Why’d you have kids then?
AGREED, forcing your child to treat you like a manager is ridiculous. Parenting isnt professional 😭😭😭
Good point. Honestly, I'm from Texas, where calling people "sir" and "ma'am" is considered normal, and even I would feel weird calling my dad "sir". Lol and I think my dad would probably make fun of me if I did start calling him sir.
I just call my parents "mom" and "dad". 🤷♀️
Those and the men who are very vocal about only wanting kids because they want to "pass on their genes" by having a biological child (usually a son). They don't want a child, they want a tiny clone of themselves that they can live vicariously through, and they'll get downright abusive when that clone doesn't act "right"
Life has taken my family around the USA and we did a year in “the south”. Strangest thing ever when my daughter came home from pre k and yes ma’amed me. I got that transitioned to “yes please” in a hurry.
To me, Sir and Ma’am are formal terms of respect - a type that one must earn. You don’t get it just by being alive and present - that goes for strangers and doubly so for myself and other parents.
I hope my daughter never sees me with such formality and whether or not she wants to extend that label to someone else will ultimately be her choice - not some engrained habit to stroke some stranger’s ego.
@ville__WHAT THE FUCK DUDE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
This is absolutely the video I was hoping someone would make.
Of course Zoe knocks it out of the park. I yelled at my computer in frustrated agreement with Zoe many times. Thank you for so clearly articulating this issue!
Thank you so much! I'm glad it made you good-angry, haha
@@zoe_bee❤All will receive Jesus healing energy all old and aches and pains will be washed away. Takes 30 minutes best to relax and shut yr eyes. Also all who reads will receive level 1 portion of youth longevity digestion an self beauty Jesus energy wash tonight at 11 07 eastren. Negative energy will creep out yr feet tell it's time.
The Illuminati aka fallen angels aliens NASA what ever you want to call them in there flying tin cans. Can't get out of lower orbit because of the vacuum. Universe is only 77 thousand SQ miles big breathable air through out space angels have to breath. Mars is only 250 miles away sun an moon are much closer an only a city big. Heaven is on Mars moon that's what all the thrusters are for space x Star ship try to punch through the vacuum and destroy Mars moon heaven. I cleaned out hell left the light's on
I ripped the soul out the devil after he went dragon just to make it a fair fight. We don't know we are sheep because we don't know who the wolfs are. We always been the prey. 😊
I never understood why parents like this treat children like property. The idea that children and teenagers shouldn't have any rights of their own baffles me
Heya! Ultra-Conservative, Evangelical Homeschool Student here! You're spot on about about the "Parent's Rights" movement. I wish you had gone into more detail about the ideologies involved but I understand that would mean a 2+ hour video.
On a more personal note, I went to a therapist about PTSD from the military and in the process discovered that the Army messed me up but my upbringing messed me up WAAAAAY more. Between my parents overbearing control over my life and the restrictions of the military I never had the chance to really develop my own identity or concept of self. So after a couple years of deconstructing the identities that were placed on me I am now, at nearly thirty years old, starting to think about who I am in my own right. I am now, again at almost 30, learning what I enjoy and making friends of my own instead of the ones given to me. And I have to do that with all the risks and responsibilities that come with being an adult and without any of the support or security most people have when they are developing normally.
Again, thank you for your video. I'm really glad to see people talking about this and I hope it gets more mainstream.
Homeschool really is truly the worst.
I was extremely controlled and gaslighted as a child, and through my teens. I'm now in my mid 30s, and still struggling to establish a mindset of self determination and self love. I'm going through a crisis of regret and self loathing for allowing myself to trust my parents and authority figures in my youth. I've had daily issues with anger and sadness, because I don't feel like my life is my own, and I'm obsessed with being independent and hyper vigilant against manipulation. This kind of bad parenting does destroy lives, and unfortunately, especially as a man in this culture, I'm expected to suck it up, and no one takes my trauma seriously. It's especially impacted my ability to form relationships with others, because I am always expecting my companions to give me the love and affection that my parents didn't. My parents are good to me as an adult, and they have apologized to me, but the damage is mostly done.
This is so relevant today! In Ohio we’re voting on an abortion amendment and anti choice folks are currently arguing that kids should have to get permission from their parents to get an abortion…..
From the same party that has fought tooth and nail to prevent underage girls from getting abortions with their parents permission
if they dont need permission to get pregnant they shouldnt need permission to get an abortion
@@Batsybludon't give them more ideas
Well considering the fact that children should not be having sex, So if they are they're probably being neglected and/or abused at home anyway.... But if they're being sexually abused at home their parents would definitely be in favor of abortion because that could more easily remove the threat of them getting caught. Especially if they can claim that they were completely ignorant to this happening in the first place since their child does not need parental consent.
I'm definitely against child abuse as well as sexual abuse to anybody. I'm also against murder. You seem to be insinuating that you do not feel the same way but I hope that you thoroughly educate yourself and open your mind to the truth. ❤
I can't imagine how that could possibly backfire
Like do people really not recognize how dangerous that would be
Even and especially disabled kids with additional reliance on others and more care needs (like myself, I'm autistic, I have CPTSD) are whole people with agency who deserve safety and respect.
hey, stupid but genuine question here, what does the c in cptsd stand for that makes it different? is it child?
I believe it means complex post traumatic stress disorder, which occurs for a variety of reasons. I will not explain it as I worry I will not do so well, but the DSM-5 has a lot of information regarding it if you are interested (this is coming from another autistic individual who also happens to have CPTSD lol)
@@thatoneguy9582it stands for complex
@@thatoneguy9582 as far as Wikipedia says, it's "complex"
Although I haven't seen it being mentioned outside of talks about traumatically toxic relationships
i’m 72 years old, but you’re never too old to go to college. i was 36 when my kid was born. i had never felt like i fit in or belonged, but that was just how life was. they didn’t feel like they fit in or belonged, and they set out to find out why. not only did they find out why they didn’t fit in, but they helped me find out why i didn’t fit in either and started me on the road to discovering who i am. my job as a parent has never been to indoctrinate my child, or to mold them into what i wanted them to be, but to help them become the best and happiest them they can be. i have never had reason to be anything but proud.
Turning 20 in almost a month, and yet I still feel infantilized by my mother. I have had my fair share from my dad, but we’ve grown to respect each other’s differences. It’s been rough since I haven’t been doing well mentally nor emotionally, and every time my mother pries me open into talking to her it always ends in a “you hating yourself is a threat to my sanity. You having a fit of rage is taking control from me. Think about my feelings next time and not yours”
Jesus Christ I'm sorry to hear. Things get better out here man, I swear.
Wow, that's extremely toxic
"Children aren't just things that belong to their parents!"- Lilli, Pokémon Sun and Moon
want to comment here - my mom has outright stated to me that children are property, and it is empowering to see that what I experienced was wrong.
thank you for speaking up on this issue.
Are you alright?
@@iminyourhouse68420 What was hard to understand?
Thank you for this excellent video. As a parent in Florida (until we left the state) I always found "parents' rights" to be code for taking away my rights as a parent at the expense of a subset of other parents who wanted to rigidly control not just their own children, but mine as well. During the pandemic they took away my rights to have my child educated in an environment with health safeguards in the midst of a pandemic that claimed over a million lives in America. They went on to take away rights of LGBTQ+ students and their parents for an education free of harassment where their existence is acknowledged, as well as parents of non-LGBTQ+ students for their children to be educated in an environment that doesn't foster bigotry. Then, the same story for race, only now rewrite the history that you teach to my children. Then, ban legitimate AP curriculums and strip other parents of the right for their children to excel or even get a competitive education. Then, they take away rights to ensure that our children so much is get the opportunity to simply read, adding classics that anybody with a good, well-rounded education should read to the list of casualties. They strip parents' rights to have any book available for their child to read if one person complains about it. It preemptively empties entire library shelves, virtually obliterating parents' rights for their children to have access to reading materials outside a limited, curated list. "Rights" simply don't work when they are the rights of a demographic to strip away rights from everyone else, and "everyone else" is important here. By framing the narrative as a matter of parents' rights, we are drawing attention away from the children's human rights to a high quality education.
You used the term bigotry. What bigotry is there in the bills and laws in Florida?
@@gogeta667 Use the context clues, my friend. The post states outright examples of it already.
As a high schooler I couldn’t have stated it better myself
I was born and raised in Florida. I was lucky to graduate in the 90's so I actually got a good education. However, I saw the horrors coming out of Tallahassee and got the heck out a few years ago. I will NEVER go back. Thanks for a great post.
the grossest thing i've seen in relation to "parents right's" are the transphobic manuals for parents to gaslight and cut off any outside communication of their children to prevent them being trans or make them feel guilty for it. i've seen parents offer money to their kids if they opt to not transition, i've seen then threaten to take them out of their school and cut them off from any support. they have manuals on how to do it and center your child's life on the parent
Hearing you talk about an adult man creating an imaginary conversation with a child that makes himself look good, that reminds me of the chapter in The Republic where Socrates asks a child leading questions to demonstrate that a simple slave boy will have no natural faculty for understand multiplication.
"Zoe Bee CANCELS SOCRATES???"
@@zoe_bee I'm sorry; I am wrong! It turns out this conversation was in Meno (also by Plato). I think I didn't realize that the excerpt we read in class was from a different work. Anyway, MIT apparently has a classics archive that contains The Republic and also Meno, if you want to read them. The passage in Meno begins about two-fifths into the text. It's a discussion of finding the square of a number to determine the area of a space with measured sides.
@@zoe_bee 🤣
@@LaCafedora Very interesting, will have to check it out.
It just occurs to me that our car centric lifestyle gives parents an inordinate amount of control over kid's lives. Suburban living is getting a backlash from all corners of the urbanism debate; from climate concerns to density to noise pollution to physical safety. Now it also seems like suburban living is also one of the best ways to force kids to live their lives in a series of boxes. I grew up in suburbia and it was beautiful, quiet and safe. But I couldn't go anywhere too far to walk, which left the park, one friend's house and the local grocery. Want to see a friend, see a movie, go to do a sport, explore the area? You need a ride from a parent. Parent's didn't agree to drive you, you ain't goin'. This leads to kids going from box to box to box in their daily life long before they hit the workforce. Study in their room, don't make a fuss in the car, be quiet in church, work hard at extracurriculars, make me proud at school. If kids had the ability to access the wider community on their own two feet with a transit card, parents wouldn't even imagine the level of control some of these folks THINK they have.