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The phone issue is such an easy fix. Just don't buy them smartphones with screens lol...buy them a simple flip phone with buttons and only texting and calling capabilities. Bam, problem solved.
@@newlineschannel why ? Teens vaping was caused by our government making the wrong decisions. In the UK they immediately banned advertisement of vaping the same way tobacco ads were. The US did not. Second the UK picked it up as a way to stop people from smoking. The US did not. What country never had a problem with teenagers wanting to vape? I think you can guess. I really can't see the point of this silly campaign against vaping when it's been twenty years and still no disease or death to my knowledge has been attributed to vaping.
I definitely learn more towards free range in my beliefs however I can appreciate that everyone in the video was trying to remain respectful. And it seemed like the parents who were against the idea of their children transitioning or being gay, comes from a lack of knowledge. From what I perceived, they didn’t seem to understand the full concept. If they were to encounter more gay & trans people & educate themselves, I wonder if their perspectives would change.
Hahaha. I was gonna comment on that. Dude raises his kids to be technologically illiterate. Probs makes sure they are completely dependent on him too. I guess free-range chickens aren't really free either..
He’s one of those parents that tells his kids “ you think I’m strict? I give you way more freedom than I had as a kid. I was 20 when I got my first phone “.😂
@@sabanaikzada1685 Steven the “free range” parent with 8 kids. Who doesn’t give his phones till 16+ and doesn’t believe he should empower his daughters and wants them to follow gender roles of getting married and having kids.
Maybe stephen thought free range was literal. Like free range chickens. Like his kids can go drink creek water. Which is okay. I wouldn't do that, but hey
Jubilee needs to make sure before bringing these people, that they are what they claim to be.The guy who has 8 kids certainly was NOT a free-range parent AT ALL.
@@Whueso Seriously? Don't be so obtuse 😂 I'll just go ahead and forgive the fact that you're CLEARLY not intelligent. Hey, there's freedom in prison, too. According to your logic.... I suppose as long as the prisoners do everything the corrections officers say, they have freedom within those boundaries! 😂🤣👍🏼
@@ThatTaRaGiRL Same with you and whatever country/society/community/culture you live in. There are laws, policies, and customs and you have freedom within those laws, policies, and customs. But when you break from those, there are consequences.
Also the dad who said he raised his kids based off personality and not gender, was so refreshing. Every other parent raisng their kids based on gender is sad, "leaders" "emotion driven" "motherhood" "toughness" etc etc. This is why gender roles exist, and why women and men are expected to act a certain way.
100 percent! I think the only place where you should raise girls and boys different depending on their gender is teaching for example boys how to act responsibly in a world where currently women experience more abuse from men etc.
The moment he said he has free range, but we set boundaries. They are free in the boundaries. Nothing he is saying is free for the kids, other than free to do what he says.
@@jameshazel5582 If the boundaries are extreme there's no liberty = so what can they do except work and breath, that's too gracious of y'all to permit us to do that
I’m not a woman but I HATE when men assume they know what will make a women the happiest or claim to know that the women will thrive a particular way. Like how tf would you know ?
THANK YOUUUUU!!!! Like if it were a bunch of women telling men what would make them happy, yall would hate us for it. So why do SO MANY males do it to us?? I don’t get it.
)Because there have been dozens of studies finding that married women are in general happier )Because it makes the people who are making this claim happy and they want others to be able to experience it - it's like why people share religion )Because (I know you're talking about Stephen) he's known his daughter for her whole life - she's both told him things and he's just been able to learn things by being around her so much that he knows it would be fulfilling to her. This is no different than "I know you'd love this book you should try it"
@samstromberg5593 just because the general public loves smth dosent mean YOUR child is goin to love it, it varies from person to person and actually according to studies, single, childless women are happier, suffer less from stress and live longer
@@Lillyz8bthat is so true and even if he does know his child better like the other person says ig she's outright SAYING she doesn't want to have kids then you can't force her to have kids because you think it would be better for her
This reminded me of a quote my father said. "I'm not raising my sons to be men and raising my daughters to be women. I'm raising my kids to be respectable humans."
Pero esta cita no implica que les confundan sus cabezas con miles de géneros distintos, porque de seguro ese padre no crió a sus hijos, en esta época donde tienes que defender que el pasto es verde, cierto?
I always hear “strict parents make sneaky kids”, but strict parents also make anxious kids, avoidant kids, insecure kids, dependent kids, sensitive kids, unfulfilled kids… the list goes on. you don’t need to be strict in your governing in order to raise a functional, happy child. coming from a person with strict parents
Free range parents also cause similar issues, just in a different way. I had divorced parents on opposite ends so just going off my experience. People always talk about the negatives of strict parents but not the free range ones. I wouldn’t have been wilding out at 16 addicted to drugs if my mom was more of a parent and less of a friend. I love my mom very much don’t give me wrong, but I wish she did more.
@@Taylor_mamaof2 as a child of divorce myself, i think we’ve found a more common denominator. parents with fluctuating disciplinary styles will inevitably instill conflicting values in a child, causing said child to act out.
@@Taylor_mamaof2 i don’t think i’d appreciate a free range parent, though. my heart goes out to you. children still need structure and guidance. i do think if my parents had been less controlling with my life, id be able to live it.
@@Taylor_mamaof2I cannot speak for you personally, but the majority of drug issues, that happened during adolescence don't come from a lack of institutionalized structure it comes from a lack of stability. And genetics .You could be quite stable within a household that is not inherently strict. Just my experience as a recovering addict, and somebody that volunteers at youth drug recovery programs. The kids range from strict military kids, to absent parents.
i'm disgusted by the guy in the blue shirt, the spanking comment, the fact he would be disapointed if his daughter didn't want kids, the way he talks about his children. honestly someone should check up on his kids.
being dissapointed if his daughter doesnt want kids should be okay what? Doesn't mean you need to express them harshly, or love them less or force them. Might be crazy but he's allowed to have feelings. Your telling me ur parents never had dreams for you to achieve?
@@fierybl4de400 Parents can have dreams for their kids. But they shouldn't shame their children if they don't live up to those dreams. A child is a human being and not just an extension of their parents. People should be allowed to choose what they want to do with their own lives once they grow up. I personally want to have kids when I marry, but if my child decides they don't want kids, that's ok. Everybody's different and shouldn't be held to the exact same ideal of what their life "should" look like.
My cousin has strict parents, she was sneaking around to clubs at 13, taught me (5 years older) to smoke, drank before i did and as soon as she turned 18 moved out, only told them after she signed the lease. My parents were not strict, i only started drinking at 21, never was a party person and i tell my mom everything. Strict parents create kids who don't want anything to do with them
And out of that one lived experience you think that strict parenting will make children more prone to act out and be mischievous, which is a logical fallacy.
I'm disappointed by the amount of people who are either saying that you should let your child do anything without discipline or be super strict and not let them have privacy, a parent should be a mix of both, not too strict but not too permissive either.
That mom checking her kids phone daily probably MADE him depressed geez ....... Especially as a teen, having your mom read your every private thought every day is really not healthy.
So just give the kid a phone and potentially let predators and such contact them ? Of course you should monitor it . Especially with how common and dangerous it is today.
Spanking is not justified 😢violence is violence and don’t touch your kids. Sit down and talk to them at the age of 1-7 because they can’t comprehend why they are being physically assaulted by the people keeping them safe and that actually retaliates their future to using their hands to teach respect
@@moviemelody2210the science does not agree with you. There isn’t a time when it’s ok. It’s literally never beneficial on a learning and development level.
Kids learn learn violence through violence. If they don't direct it outwards later on, they direct it inwards. It also teaches them to be afraid of talking to their parent when they are struggling because their parent is no longer a safe person.
@@livc3315 I absolutely agree. For me, it was inwards. For my brother, it was outwards. I don't remember ever seeing any real proof that hurting your kids is ok.
He probably sees himself as free-range because I'm guessing he was raised in an overbearing "my way or the highway" household, so allowing his children to put their elbows on the table makes him feel like a free-range parent.
Yes this is true I feel like eventually people choose to overcome their fear There is way more influence in having someone respect you and showing them respect as well
I will ALWAYS be under the belief that the stricter you are with your children, the more likely they will be more wild and more rebellious when they finally get away from you.
also, could be the opposite, because they r so used to the parent's authority, when its time for them to be an adult and make their own decisions they'll be so clueless and need someone else to make decisions for them
My parents had the best parenting style. As a teen, I was going to parties. However, I had a phone and armed with knowledge about drugs/sex/alcohol. My parents DRILLED me about the dangers that exist out in the world BUT told me it was important to experience the world and make the best decisions based on my education. When I was at parties, sure I’d drink a little, and then I would call my parents to come get me. I wouldn’t get in the car with a drunk driver. The kids at the parties who were doing dangerous drugs, getting into trouble with cops etc were kids of extremely strict and religious parents. The WORST kids I knew, were sheltered. I appreciate my parents letting me be free in experience life even if I put myself in some less than desirable situations. But I was always always smart, protected myself, and knew when something became dangerous and it was time to leave. I’m so thankful for my “middle ground” parents and how they raised me. I will raise my son the same way.
If Stephen was my dad when I turned 18 I would go no contact with him. Saying that you would be highly disappointed with your daughter for not having children...smh
I wouldn’t say I’d be disappointed but I mean, I feel like I have an image of my child of seeing them grow up, go to collage, have a career, get married and have kids and for them just to say I’m not having any kids ? Idk .. it’s a certain type of grief of a future you thought they’d have.. of course they have their own will to do whatever with their life but it’s on me to get pass that grief of what I thought my child’s life would be like.
@@michellegalvan0929that grief is normal. Sadness just like happiness are very important in life. Protect them from harm and unhealthy choices. Project what you would want, but keep it like that, a projection. The only commands have to come from a place of love, protection. Whether your kid chooses to do the same ir not, that grief will be there, it’s only natural. You’ve raised them. Water the plant, protect and keep it healthy everyday. If you have the privilege, nurture them, spend time with them with no objective but company and relationship building. The rest is not up to you. They will grow up.
@@TrevorPhipps-vw6kr because there are so many other things in life than relationships that can fulfill a woman, trust me as a person who is growing up in an extremely strict household being told the same things, i have friends who are not growing up like me and they have so many other ambitions and are very fulfilled not in relationships or as mothers/parents.
The father saying his daughter not becoming a mother would disappoint him is one of the reasons so many women have started to leave the church. The sons can be anything they want but daughters will ONLY find happiness being mothers and wifes is a load of cr@p
When the moderator said, "I think the ultimate question is. . . " I yelled "would you be disappointed in your sons if they didn't get married and become fathers?" I didn't even hear what he said after because all I could hear was the double standard for his sons vs daughters.
Why are you assuming they wouldn't be equally disappointed if their sons chose not to be fathers?? I think its pretty normal thing for parents to want both their sons and daughters to have an eventual family. Every mother and father wants grandkids.... Why are you framing it to be a bad thing and linking it to church? Do you have any data to back up your claim or are you just making up stuff on the spot
@@darko6115 Notice how they always say it about daughters and never about sons? Notice how sons are encouraged to be whatever they want to be but daughters aren't? I'm a guy and was raised in a strict household and it's abhorrent how differently my sisters were treated compared to me and my brothers. It just reinforces harmful expectations and behaviours.
18:49 As a child myself, I can say it hurts when your parents say you are free to do what you want in your life but we are disappointed that you are taking this decision.
Me to my dad who is on his 3rd divorce, " I do not want the same kind of life you have wanted or want for me. The idea of a wife and house doesn't seem so rewarding to me especially after seeing all you have gone through" my dad, " oh but you should still buy a house, you could do this, you could do that". I totally know what you mean.
Just as you as their child are allowed to not do what they hope you will do they are allowed to be disappointed in the decisions you make. They can't force you to do things just as you can't make the be proud of all of your decisions.
I was raised by a free range single mom and I appreciate it so much. I see all my peers with so much anxiety and constantly hiding stuff. I'm a horrible liar because I never had to lie to my mom, when she said no I knew it was for a reason because she usually would allow me to do stuff. My mom always had boundaries for me but as I got older I would just want to be within those boundaries because I saw no need in pushing it. I never snuck out, never stole from her, never hid any boyfriends or friends from her ( The worst thing I did was have a friend or boyfriend over without asking her while she was at work) and I thank her daily. Im in med school and I see classmates who are in their mid 20s still scared to just tell their parents anything. My heart goes out to yall.
@@Taylor_mamaof2 theres a difference between free range and permissive. my mom was open to talk to me about everything but i came to the realization myself that its wrong.
How disgusting to think that your daughter’s sole purpose in life is to produce children because that’s what YOU want and then to tell her you’d be disappointed and she’ll never find happiness?! Some people- MOST people should never ever have children and that guy is one of them
@@Melarona23 because I find you types unworthy to have your DNA continue? OP thinks the same thing, only difference, this guy's genetics are better then both of yours combined.
38:58 ma'am that is NOT gentle parenting, thats just not educating your children on rights and wrongs, you dont have to tell your kid that drugs are wrong by hitting them or yelling. from the start you should be telling your kids about the effects of drugs or alcohol and educating them about the consequences.
@@bananabagel2 i mean sure technically if you pay for it you can check it but is it not insane that you feel you have to monitor someone who is legally an adult trying to develop into their own independent person. Monitoring another persons privacy without their consent is dehumanizing which can alter how you think people get to treat you as you get older. "Oh mom and dad looked through my phone so it makes sense that my husband/bf wants to look through my phone because it is normal to go through someone's privacy." I understand if the 18 yo is doing extreme behavior where parents need to step in to help them but other than that why?? You are just teaching them they can be controlled as they turn into an adult.
Surprised there aren't laws against that. In Australia, 18 year olds are literally adults. Reading your 18yo's phone would be like going through your neighbour's phone.
I never understand when parents say their child needs a phone and then gives them the latest iphone and get annoyed about what they do on the internet. If a child just needs it for safety they can have a nokia brick and that will serve just fine and they can use the internet on a shared computer at home or at school. The internet and a phone don't always need to be the same thing.
But phones nowadays are necessary for home to organise social gatherings through social medias. We have yo be realistic and not have them be alienated from their peers
@@Random-sk6hm Because more of the f***ed up sh** on social media is definitely what kids need. Brick phones work perfectly fine until they have the mental fortitude to realize what a joke social media and its proponents are.
@@Random-sk6hmA teenager, I agree that they need a smartphone. But seeing 7 year olds with iPhone 15s making Tiktoks and posting Tweets is wild to me 😭 give those kids a Nokia brick, that's too young for social media
The guy who didn't let his kids have a phone before she started driving, and the one who said that he'll be disappointed if his daughter doesn't have kids, triggered me so much throughout the video. He honestly seemed so overcontrolling to his kids, wouldn't be surprised if they secretly rlly dislike him
"My sons are a lot more action-driven; I spank them much more often than my daughters" is insane to me. If you become a parent who has hundreds of preconcieved notions about differences between boys and girls while being completely oblivious to the fact that your assumptions influence the way you parent your kids (e.g. how you interpret their behaviours, manage your expectations towards them, the way you show them affection and MUCH MORE), you're not someone who understands the dynamics of how different sexes operate in the world. You simply have a blind-spot about the way your demeanour influences your children. It's a case of false causation at best.
Spanking a child at all is incredibly questionable. There are instances that call for you to use physical force, such as physically dragging them to bed if they refuse to go to bed. But there is no reason to use physical punishment on a minor.
Lowk DISGUSTING that the father with 8 kids thinks that his daughters should HAVE to be housewives and has to fulfill his duties. That’s gross that he puts on a label that he does NOT want his daughters to become successful and have a big strong career. I feel bad for those girls, I hate the two labels of “mothers do this” and “men do that” sickening.
My dad is like this. He even told me not to go to college and then scolded me when I decided to continue on to grad school. Yet, he was fast to take credit for my successes. I still love my dad but it's obvious that he sees women as "less than."
"If my kids disrespect me i hit them" is THE weakest thing you can say. How small of a Person do you have to be to react to your kids disrespect with physical abuse? Abuse will never lead to respect. It WILL Lead to fear
As a minor, i dont think it's abuse unless it's causing lasting harm and/or constantly every day type of thing for no reason. Giving them a spank for being disrespectful is fine. I've seen so many kids that are actually so rude and disrespectful and usually it's a result of parents not punishing them for that stuff. They sart thinking it's okay. I agree spanking can be taken too far but if you do it once in a while for punishment it's fine.
Putting quotations on that makes it seem like one of them said exactly that. They didn't. It's not a fair summary either. If I had kids, I wouldn't spank them. However, there is a BIG DIFFERENCE between spanking as an expected consequence for certain things... and a drunk poor-excuse-of-a-man smacking his kids around at random in a rage. Not the same.
@@petitsacadosno. You’re still hitting your kids, I don’t care if your kid disrespected you, if your response is to strike them then you are awful and misguided, get a grip on parenthood.
Does the parent who tells his children "You know I don't wanna do this. I hate this" while hitting his kids not realise he sounds like an abusive partner??
It’s true you probably don’t have kids so you can’t really explain the feeling a child gives you when they are yours You just sound like a Kamala Harris sound bite
as a someone who has a overly strict parent, its actually very exhausting because my mom doesn’t believe that i should have privacy. im not allowed to have friends or talk to other people nor am i allowed to keep anything from her, she constantly watches everything i do and doesn’t think i should have privacy or keep things to myself. she checks my phone every day and keeps tabs on what apps i use and who i talk to. im only ever allowed to talk to my family and no other person, whenever i do make a friend or met someone she’ll get mad with me. she said she wants me to enjoy being a kid but i actually wish i could be an adult because she’s very controlling. im also homeschooled so thats why i want friends so badly bc sometimes i dont always want to talk with my siblings.
I can also relate. I love my parents very much, i do. But sometime I feel that anger come in me, thinking about how they stole my privacy from me in many instances especially as a teenager, we deserve our own space a little.
Force her to go to therapy with you. You need a mediator and someone that has no skin in the game. You’ll be able to say all this to her without being at risk. If she refuses to go, find a way to offer to pay (maybe get a really part time job-that will show her you are mature). If she still won’t go, you now have the ability to say that you don’t deserve to be monitored considering the fact that she doesn’t have the maturity to go to therapy and deal with things and yet you do. Never give her-or anyone that’s controlling-the ability to give an excuse. Never give them an out. Air-tight seal on every strategy. Yes, it sucks to play mental chess but it’s the only way. Controlling people aren’t generally receptive when you try and appeal to their emotions or try to have them put themselves in your shoes. They are too far gone.
As a swede, I can never understand how religion is always such an important factor in every single debate topic that americans have, while in sweden (and whole scandinavia) we're maybe 90% atheists. I of course respect everyone who has their own religion, I just can't relate how it is to be in a society like that, and why this topic has to influence and be in every single U.S debate
im American and im really jealous of how Scandinavia does things. the values are so ideal for me. non-religious/atheists, liberal, universal healthcare, anti-corporal punishment, decent wages, etc. ik nowhree is perfect but its not a coincidence your region has the best living conditions in the world.
The thing is if you are actually religious it will permeate through all aspects of your life (at least in Christianity and Islam to my knowledge but probably in more) so it is impossible to simply set it aside
It definitely shapes a lot of ethic and moral choices as well as values. Most of the debates on Jubilee revolve around values so it makes sense that the topic of faith comes up. It also makes sense that those debates rarely (if ever) find middle ground. 😅 As a Pole (most Poles claim to be catholic) I definitely see the problem with it, especially when faith dictates governance...
The dads saying they believe their daughters would be happiest as mothers is the biggest eyeroll. I’ve heard that all my life and I have zero desire to have children. I am happily married, great career, and fulfilling myself and how I choose to live my life. My dad forcing those ideals on me of motherhood hurt our relationship more than anything because he wanted me to adapt to the future he saw for me instead of supporting and trusting me to know what would make me happiest in the end. Not all women are meant to be mothers (or even want to) and that’s okay! Parents should want the best for their kids even if their lifestyle choices are different that their own.
It’s when he said GROSSLY disappointed, that is wild. There’s a lot of people who find happiness in different directions, none of any of us are the same as eachother, I would want my kid to just be happy, I would be disappointed if they were doing bad things in their life and causing harm to themselves and others but I would do all I could to help them be okay. But what he said that’s not something to be disappointed in.
@@Christistheking-p3n You don’t know that. You don’t know anything about them. They might have siblings who will carry on the bloodline and even if the bloodline stops who cares? The world is crowded anyway.
This 😭 I've seen so many newborns with moms who don't gaf or who literally aren't capable to home children; both go into the system. Not all women need children, I need people to understand that 😭🙏🏾
@@Christistheking-p3nas a woman who is never having kids, I don’t care. I’m not royalty. It’s 80 degrees a week before November, all our bloodlines are done for. I’m not bringing kids into this world. Even if we lived in a utopia, i just don’t want them. I don’t want to be pregnant, give birth, wake up in the night with a crying baby, etc.
They have no clue what gentle parenting is. They are taking about permissive parenting. Gentle parenting gives kids boundaries and understanding natural consequences and their emotions. It’s not that they don’t have structure.
No because Basically it just depends if we're talking about prescriptive or descriptive definitions By a prescriptive definition, no. They're not talking about gentle parenting. But by a descriptive, yes they are. So many people have claimed to be gentle parents while really being permissive parents that at this point they really mean the same thing
@@Bringon-dw8dxthe difference is Spanking is done on a specific part of the body for a specific purpose, hitting is not. An adult (who can grasp complex issues) does not need the physical reminder that if you walk into the road you will probably get hit by a car
@@moviemelody2210 You could hit an adult on a specific part of their body for a specific purpose… it’s still assault. Why is your child that is so young you can’t explain the risk of a road anywhere near a road without holding an adults hand? Hitting your child is a form of lazy parenting
@@Bringon-dw8dx do you have children? there are dozens of kids that constantly take off before parents could calmly walk them across a street/parking lot. Also what reason are adults being hit? Aggression? That’s not why most people spank their kids. Most of them are being spanked to teach them not to do something. I completely respect your opinion on non spanking but to say they are the same doesn’t make sense to me.
I think a huge problem with strict parents in the way many of them spoke is that they view gentle parenting as a lack of parenting. I am a gentle parent with a ton of structure and rules regarding safety, kindness and respect. I do not put my hands on my children or scream at them, if I lose my temper and raise my voice I hold myself accountable and have no problem apologizing to my child because I am a human and so are they so if I deserve kindness and respect, so do they. Too many strict parents are hypocritical on their behaviour from my perspective, their kid can’t hit but they can, their kid can’t yell but they can, their kid has to be safe but they don’t etc.
@@deonbrown4533 very incorrect. race is actually a social construct unique to every country and just bc this black woman is an absolute menace lol doesn't mean that all are. for example gabby thomas is a very smart very competent black woman
18:20 How you gonna say, “I have raised you to be an independent person, capable of making your own decisions” but then follow up with “ I am grossly disappointed” and “ I don’t think you’re going to find happiness there”??????????
@@HauntedOne666the implication is that you're making the wrong decisions with that, and there's an active component of shaming. There's definitely instances you should express disappointment, but the subject they were discussing definitely isn't one of those times.
@@HauntedOne666 "im not gonna help you, youre free to make your own choices, but also, im ashamed that youve made this poor choice that I could have given you guidance for"
I will never EVER understand why people spank their kids and think it's acceptable. Why should you be allowed to hit someone bc they are a kid? Why abuse the most defenseless people in society? In Sweden it's illegal and you can get up to two years in prison.
I totally agree! Here in Germany everybody would be outraged if someone said they hit their kids. That’s violence and abuse. I can not understand how that is still normal in the US
@@lollyworld7507 I feel like thats the only way I learned sometimes when I was a kid. Kids aren't smart enough to always understand morality or are too stubborn to get it, so you have to teach them in a language that they will understand.
What a liberal load of 💩 Children need consequences that matter to them. Time outs, grounding, chores etc. rely on the cooperation of the child. Discipline should not be a negotiation.
Here’s a thing what jubilee should do: While you take in contestants for middle ground, make sure: people who “claim” to be in a certain category actually belong to that “certain” category…like take a short quiz and check the results on which side they “really” align…or else they would end up with someone like the blue t-shirt guy with 8 kids who believes that he is free ranger parent…cause that thing was a joke fr
so one slipped through, who cares, still an interesting discussion that led to tons of views and comments. How about. you do all that work rather than telling Jubilee to do more. Thanks Jubilee for this video and the work that it took
@@DD-rh2sz no not just one. so many of them were speaking ill about what they call "gentle parenting" and then they go on and describe their own parenting style and its... gentle parenting. And one of them literally admitted that, when calling it a "semantic discourse".
Middle Ground Idea: Parents vs. Childfree Is it selfish to not want kids? Can people without kids give parenting advice? Should people receive tax breaks for being parents?
I want to be mother, but I don’t think it’s my “life’s purpose”. So many mothers turn out absolutely miserable because their entire life revolved around their kids.
@@AppleBottomJHuh? What are you talking about? There's no single style of parenting that everyone is abiding by. What dictator is telling French women how to live their lives? 😂 Also, as a parent, your life is your child. You can't just go off and do what you want when you have a kid to take care of.
@@DavidKen878 parenting style is dif everywhere (family to family) and there are more common styles depending on culture/societal norms (aka country and region of the world)
im sure he has opinions on how men should live to be happy too. if it was a given fact that individuals always know whats best for them then nobody would bother having opinions like this, but thats obv not how it works
54:40 Queen, your son did NOT become a junkie just because you stopped praying. By attributing everything wrong in her and her son's lives to 'I stopped going to church', it really shows she hasn't done ANY introspective or reflective work. Gosh, some people should really not become parents.
I agree, But it also make sense to include spiritual things, because it's the thing that can guide or be foundation of value and discipline when "NO ONE SEES YOU".
@@Criner05 But how a person stay in character when no one sees? like lying and manipulating, or like in this case "Junkie"? What's a foundation to keep in moral if you believe "only" what you can see? (I don't want to judge, just lemme understand your perspective)
To say some people should not be parents simply because they lack something you have come to recognize as important is an interesting assertion. If that is your take, no one should be parents because we all lack something. I think that parenting helps people grow. Some people succeed in growing and others do not, but simply because we can see the imperfections people have when it comes to raising their own kids should not justify someone in being able to say some people should really not be parents.
As someone whose parent continued to pull text records from my phone into adulthood (I know, I know, I made the mistake of staying on their plan instead of getting on my own believing them when they said they stopped checking my phone at 18), we don’t talk anymore. That invasion of privacy was unforgivable. That parent did many other vile and abusive things but the privacy invasion of having records pulled into my twenties is something I still have to unpack in therapy.
There's also a big difference in a parent checking a teens phone to make sure they are avoiding creeps on the internet vs a mom checking text records of a legal adult. I don't blame you one bit for cutting off contact. What she did is wrong.
The stricter and more protective you are with your child, the more he or she will want to do what you forbid. A child should not be allowed to do everything he or she wants, but a middle ground must be found
Exactly. I think during the initial years they should obviously have supervision but as they get older and become more independent and learn to take on more responsibility, parents should trust and guide them into being more free and independent.
This is true if you study patenting styles in psychology. The style that breeds the best children is setting boundaries that your kids understand. But also allowing them to make mistakes and suffer the consequences bc that's how we learn. And when they do cross these boundaries we explain further so they understand
Checking a child's phone after they turn 18 is absolutely ludicrous. I completely understand the standpoint of checking it when they're under 18, but once they become an adult there's no reason to. The child's now an adult, their lives are in their hands, even IF they still live under your roof. They've become their own person who can make their own decisions - and whether those are educated ones or not is completely up to them.
With the debate about parenting boys differently than girls, it kinda seemed like the parents were just addressing the differences in the personalities of their kids rather than the differences in sex
100%. I have two daughters and they're very different in nature. I am also one of nine and have mostly brothers and most have very typically feminine traits/personalities. I can't for the life of me understand why people insist that people have set personality traits based on their reproductive anatomy. People are just people. It's not that hard of a concept lol.
The free range parent with 8 kids is not free range at all. He mentioned he’s “had” to spank one of his boys up to 3 times a day sometimes. That’s very strict and I believe he’s actually abusive. If you can’t handle a child without being violent with them you don’t need to be a parent. At some point you’re hitting them out of frustration and not because you believe it’s actually discipline. I see why he doesn’t want them to have phones because they might call the police for help. Hitting kids is lazy parenting because it takes away having to actually figure out what non-violent forms of discipline work for a child.
Except, if the child doesn't wanna do any of that 'discipline' like standing in the corner or writing sentences, etc.... what are you going to do? Physical discipline has been a thing for centuries. This idea that its abuse is new. There is a difference between punching your child and spanking them. What are YOU going to do if your child isn't going to listen? If you can't use physical force, then you're kinda screwed if your child is stubborn and won't listen.
@@TheDarktornado The idea that a husband hitting his wife is abuse is new too. The idea that a husband forcing himself on his wife is rape is new too. Things are changing, there are a lot of new things. That does not mean it was any less abusive back then than it is now
@@lentilsoup460 What if they told you no and to go F yourself? You cant PHYSICALLY take away anything from them because it would be abuse. So what would your next step be to actually enforce it?
(8 Kids father) Expressing disappointment yet showing respect of a child's decision and offering support reflects honesty and love. However, stating "You can make the decision BUT I'm grossly disappointed you came to that conclusion because I don’t think you will not find happiness" is NOT a free-range approach that can negatively impact the daughter’s self-esteem. Such a statement may lead her to feel inadequate and manipulate her thoughts, causing her to overanalyze her choices in adulthood and prioritize her father's desires over her own aspirations. This dynamic can foster internal pain, insecurity, and resentment towards her father.
It’s the grossly disappointed part my face dropped when he said that, his daughter is meant to grow up to live her own life and make her own choices. He has had his life of choosing to have children, what is wrong with these parents. Imagine saying I don’t want kids and your father just looking down on you your whole life and saying to you that your life will forever be miserable because you chose not to have kids, there are so many parents who have kids and have told me never to get married or have kids.
This group has no idea about proper gentle parenting. I don’t have kids, but was raised with a Montessori philosophy in mind and went on to provide guidance in a Montessori school. I, now, use this approach as my nannying style. Gentle parenting doesn’t shy away from disciplining your child. You have to be consistent and communicate the consequences of their actions. Also, giving the child choices doesn’t equate to getting what they want. You have to build healthy boundaries and you can do that without threatening or demeaning them. They will learn to decide for themselves confidently. Thanks for listening to my TED Talk! 🤘🏼
@@anonymousbo0318 you don’t have to have kids to know how to read children in a healthy way. Some of the best teachers of children are those without kids. People like to use this excuse to say “oooo but when you have kids who knows what you’ll do”. It’s an excuse
Can confirm I'm 17, have a secret RUclips account, secret computer, secret discord on said computer, social media on computer, hidden apps on my phone, etc.
his idea of free range is letting the daughters pick what kind of meal to help their mom cook. rather than say talking about what they wanna be when they grow up and how many kids they _may_ want to have.
I agree. Not all men and women are meant for the same type of role. I know that if I were a stay-at-home mother, I would be very unhappy because with my personality being the way it is, I need activities to do outside of the house and I need to be up on my feet doing something for most of the day. My boyfriend even said he would love to be a stay-at-home husband if he was able to. Sure, one gender may be more likely to be in a certain role than the other, but it’s harmful to generalize that EVERYONE in that gender is meant for that role. Women and girls in other countries are literally fighting for their rights because they WANT a career over a marriage.
This is an example of you ignoring biology and setting your kids up to be unhappy. I would never encourage my son to put himself in an emasculated role within his own nuclear family and I would not set my daughter up to experience loneliness and depression in her 30s and 40s and 50s because she opted out of motherhood to pursue business. You’re doing your children at a service.
@@jamikapalmer7774First of all back in older times women had to be mothers or else they would be singled out of society and look where that got us. They were not happy because they were not getting their rights. Second there is no “biology” that shows proof that women are better as mothers 100% of the time and all women have to be mothers. Third have you ever thought about women who physically cannot have kids? They weren’t set up by their parents they were just made that way. Fourth if you look at any women with a job Sabrina carpenter, Kamala Harris, LITERALLY ANY WOMEN THAT IS NOT A STAY AT HOME MOM you can see they are living a life depression free. So you are just wrong.
I get it, there has to be a balance in parenting. But strict parenting styles can be dangerous for kids. For me, I ended up in the hospital at 16 because I didn’t feel comfortable telling my family about my depression because I thought I would disappoint them and be in trouble. They would read my diary and go through my iPod touch and I became a very sneaky kid to protect my privacy.
If he's really worried that she won't find happiness by not having kids, then that's the adjective he would've used: worried. He didn't say that, he said "disappointed" because she's not doing what he wants.
they let their misogyny dictate their worldview. the guy with 8 kids who said "there are characteristics that are barely universal among those two" when talking about the male and female genders was completely WRONG. social psychology has proven time and again that there is more overlap between the two genders (on a psychological and BIOLOGICAL level even) than there is exclusion.
It's not an obsession, it's natural. It is natural to want your offspring to continue your genetic lineage. It's weird NOT to be that way and is arguably self-destructive.
These parents have no idea what actual “gentle parenting“ is. There are natural consequences for behavior and that is a major part of gentle parenting. I’m a gentle parent BUT I’m not permissive. My kid has age appropriate boundaries and has natural consequences when he steps out of those boundaries. I don’t spank because I’m teaching my child that when he does something wrong he is going to be met with love, understanding and respect, not abuse. For example if he hits a child, we stop the behavior, have him apologize for his behavior and figure out why he was hitting in the first place. I’d say “You are feeling frustrated. You hit your friend because they took your toy. That is not okay. Here is a better way to deal with that feeling.” If you start from day one, it works.
This. It really frustrates me that people think gentle parenting is letting your kids do whatever they want with no consequences. Its just a narrative they choose to believe to feel better about their strict and abusive parenting
Yes! Parents teach violence with abuse (verbal and physical) and then proceed to wonder aloud why their children are “acting out” or being violent. So they meet it with more violence. It’s a messed up cycle.
catering to each kids personality is probably the best way to raise them, not only does it make the kids feel more seen but overall makes a healthy relationship
@@Criner05Every individual kid behaves and learns differently. Some kids like pink, others blue, others orange, some of them like playing with dolls, others out in the dirt. Not because they are a certain gender, but because people in general are all different. That‘s what we have to get into our heads, not the boy and girl gender roles society made up.
24:00 “if you were born without a leg you have to accept you dont have a leg.” yes you were born without a leg, but there are prosthetics than can be used to improved your quality of life not just physically, but mentally too. this can be the case with transitioning, its not just “i was born in the wrong body” its “my body doesnt fit who i am” everyone changes something about themselves physically in life whether its cutting their hair, getting tats, getting piercings, dental work, etc. thats changing who you are on the outside to fit who you are mentally, that doesnt mean theres anything wrong with you.
My parents always openly discussed everything with me and encouraged me to be honest with them. Even when i would go to parties, my mom would say, "If you drink you can call me to come pick you up anytime". I didnt drink until after high school and now dont drink. My parents also told me if i ever wanted to smoke pot as a teenager i could just try it in the house where its safe. I didnt try it until college. Not everyones experience of course bur for me, feeling mutual trust with my parents made me not feel any need to rebel or hide anything from them.
I really felt for all the children of the parents featured here. When that mom said shes way stricter to her daughter, it was like 💡💡💡 yeahhhhhhhh i know exactly the type of person she is ...... Then when that other mom said "men are the leaders of the household you have to teach them theyre stronger" 🤢🤢🤢 thats why so many men abuse women...... A lot of them are raised by their mothers to be like that. Hearing so many parents trying to justify "overdisciplining" (ABUSING) their sons is sickening too.
I haven’t gotten to that point yet but I take that as more of they need to protect their daughters more thus having “less freedom” sometimes. It’s more dangerous for a teenage girl to go out at night compared to a teenage boy, it’s a sad reality.
@@InitialDraal wrong their 1000% is. the root of it is that society creates toxic men by putting them on a pedestal and letting them get away with more then they should.
They teach kids that it's okay to physically hurt someone you love then wonder why domestic violence rates are so high and so many men in particular are emotionally stunted. Fyi I'm a guy.
@@bardoomguythey didnt say that alone solely leads to depression. they said it contributes/adds to it; there's a difference. not being able to have your own personal space and be able to grow as a person by yourself can cause dependency and a lack of a sense of self. humans naturally crave independence
I feel like there has to be a balance between the two. Validate your child’s emotions and experiences, talk to them how you would want to be talked to, while also creating healthy boundaries and structure.
Validate your child’s emotions and experiences? children are emotionally immature and need guidance on how to interpret what is happening in their life. What do you mean?
@@bardoomguy I think she means that you should validate your child's emotions by not telling them what to feel or dismissing their feelings. For example, my mom always told me that I should have no problems because I am young, and young people are "supposed to be happy." I grew up with a ton of resentment for her, and it has lessened with time, but I still do not trust her opinions. A lot of people just see their kids as emotionally immature (which is valid) but end up being extremely dismissive (because they do not trust or respect their kids' choices), which breaks the trust between parent and child.
@@marianne3802 Yes I would agree with this example. I'm just a bit skeptical of the original claim. An example I saw first hand was how a mom did not want others to quiet her tantrum throwing child because "she should learn how to express her feelings". What makes it even worse is that the mom is supposedly formally educated in the field. And then there's things I can't get into without being censored on this platform. Some of the new parenting choices these days are really risky.
@@bardoomguyin terms of tantrums, psychologically and scientifically, we know that young children are not able to calm themselves down during a tantrum. the best way to handle a tantrum is to remove them from the area so they can calm down somewhere. it makes sense that she’s formally educated on the topic, but yes you shouldn’t just let children throw tantrums everywhere. tantrums are, however, natural and they are the child’s way of expressing their intense emotions
@@ethanflores9180 That's not the case here. She doesn't respect the authority of the parents. Children aren't rational, but they do know when you're bluffing, so if parents don't draw a line and stick to it, then they'll try to use their outcry to get what they want. They also need to learn that part of being a social being is to respect others around you, and that includes not throwing tantrums, wherever they may be.
GAH! Children do not owe their parents respect. Parents owe their children love, and EARN respect from them by how you conduct yourself. Punishing your child for simply not "giving respect" is abusive.
@@Jaysaflame by been a responsible parent you got their respect, you could give them life but if you don't race them, they are not gonna have respect for you.
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Julibee also do a video on teens v@ping
The phone issue is such an easy fix. Just don't buy them smartphones with screens lol...buy them a simple flip phone with buttons and only texting and calling capabilities. Bam, problem solved.
@@jubilee only from watchin this!
was so excited for this one but these parents are mislabelled. Yall are getting lazy :((((((
@@newlineschannel why ? Teens vaping was caused by our government making the wrong decisions. In the UK they immediately banned advertisement of vaping the same way tobacco ads were. The US did not. Second the UK picked it up as a way to stop people from smoking. The US did not. What country never had a problem with teenagers wanting to vape? I think you can guess. I really can't see the point of this silly campaign against vaping when it's been twenty years and still no disease or death to my knowledge has been attributed to vaping.
who lied to stephen by telling him hes a free range parent
Himself
Hes delulu
I definitely learn more towards free range in my beliefs however I can appreciate that everyone in the video was trying to remain respectful. And it seemed like the parents who were against the idea of their children transitioning or being gay, comes from a lack of knowledge. From what I perceived, they didn’t seem to understand the full concept. If they were to encounter more gay & trans people & educate themselves, I wonder if their perspectives would change.
Hahaha. I was gonna comment on that. Dude raises his kids to be technologically illiterate. Probs makes sure they are completely dependent on him too. I guess free-range chickens aren't really free either..
He’s one of those parents that tells his kids “ you think I’m strict? I give you way more freedom than I had as a kid. I was 20 when I got my first phone “.😂
Ok now do an episode with kids od strict and free-range parents and let's see how it affected them
500% agreed
Yes please !!
Yessssssss
definitely
Great idea! 💡
even these strict parents were like what is this guy on. lol
TRUEEE HAHAHAH
Which one
@@sabanaikzada1685 stephen
Steven, or the dude with glasses and 8 kids @@sabanaikzada1685
@@sabanaikzada1685 Steven the “free range” parent with 8 kids. Who doesn’t give his phones till 16+ and doesn’t believe he should empower his daughters and wants them to follow gender roles of getting married and having kids.
Title change: “7 regular parents vs Stephen”
REAL WTFF
that “free range” parent with 8 kids is literally the most strict parent in the whole vid😂😂
It's mind-blowing!
Yea as a kid of chill parents I would absolutely despise him if he was my dad
I’m so confused how he is considered a “free range” parent
I fr thought he was one of the strict parents the strictest at that where is the free range in what he is doing lol
I feel sorry for his kids, especialla the daughters.
Maybe stephen thought free range was literal. Like free range chickens. Like his kids can go drink creek water. Which is okay. I wouldn't do that, but hey
Criminally underrated comment.
😫🤦🏾♂️🙌🏾😆👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾😂
i think he thought if they're not in cages they're free range
LMFAO free range chickens
😂
That’s actually far worst if you view children as chickens.
Jubilee needs to make sure before bringing these people, that they are what they claim to be.The guy who has 8 kids certainly was NOT a free-range parent AT ALL.
Fr
Free range within boundaries is still free range. It's just the range has a perimeter.
@@Whueso Seriously? Don't be so obtuse 😂
I'll just go ahead and forgive the fact that you're CLEARLY not intelligent. Hey, there's freedom in prison, too. According to your logic.... I suppose as long as the prisoners do everything the corrections officers say, they have freedom within those boundaries! 😂🤣👍🏼
@@ThatTaRaGiRL Same with you and whatever country/society/community/culture you live in. There are laws, policies, and customs and you have freedom within those laws, policies, and customs. But when you break from those, there are consequences.
@@ThatTaRaGiRL why are you being so rude bro made a point and you started insulting his intelligence
Also the dad who said he raised his kids based off personality and not gender, was so refreshing. Every other parent raisng their kids based on gender is sad, "leaders" "emotion driven" "motherhood" "toughness" etc etc. This is why gender roles exist, and why women and men are expected to act a certain way.
Seriously! I was genuinely surprised that he was the only parent who didn’t basically perpetuate outdated gender roles.
100 percent! I think the only place where you should raise girls and boys different depending on their gender is teaching for example boys how to act responsibly in a world where currently women experience more abuse from men etc.
yesss 100% I feel like this generation should parent more like this instead of off gender it will for sure stop the level of toxicity in families😭😭!!
Lol gender roles exist because biology exists
Who did, the bulky guy?
Kids crave structure. You can provide structure while still being loving. So...balance, people. Balance.
Amen 🙏
Someone had to say it
AMEN!!
Exactly you need to mix the best aspects of both
this. Both is very important for a healthy childhood and development!!
The blue shirt guy is NOT a free range parent 🙏😭
📵 yeah ok ur a free range💀
Fr
The moment he said he has free range, but we set boundaries. They are free in the boundaries. Nothing he is saying is free for the kids, other than free to do what he says.
@@Crawlspeedgames?
@@jameshazel5582
If the boundaries are extreme there's no liberty = so what can they do except work and breath, that's too gracious of y'all to permit us to do that
Every child deserves a parent - *but not every **_parent_** deserves a **_child_*
Agreed
Agreed
This comment needs to be pinned!
@@Lovemulla thanks - didn't realize anyone had seen it lol
You've heard that, too? Because according to American conservatives, all women deserve a child.
I’m not a woman but I HATE when men assume they know what will make a women the happiest or claim to know that the women will thrive a particular way. Like how tf would you know ?
THANK YOUUUUU!!!! Like if it were a bunch of women telling men what would make them happy, yall would hate us for it. So why do SO MANY males do it to us?? I don’t get it.
)Because there have been dozens of studies finding that married women are in general happier
)Because it makes the people who are making this claim happy and they want others to be able to experience it - it's like why people share religion
)Because (I know you're talking about Stephen) he's known his daughter for her whole life - she's both told him things and he's just been able to learn things by being around her so much that he knows it would be fulfilling to her. This is no different than "I know you'd love this book you should try it"
@samstromberg5593 just because the general public loves smth dosent mean YOUR child is goin to love it, it varies from person to person and actually according to studies, single, childless women are happier, suffer less from stress and live longer
@@samstromberg5593 statics show that single women are happier than married women and that married MEN are actually happier than single men
@@Lillyz8bthat is so true and even if he does know his child better like the other person says ig she's outright SAYING she doesn't want to have kids then you can't force her to have kids because you think it would be better for her
This reminded me of a quote my father said.
"I'm not raising my sons to be men and raising my daughters to be women. I'm raising my kids to be respectable humans."
I love this quote
Yess love that!
Pero esta cita no implica que les confundan sus cabezas con miles de géneros distintos, porque de seguro ese padre no crió a sus hijos, en esta época donde tienes que defender que el pasto es verde, cierto?
I hate this quote
Sounds like something a liberal would say, followed up with "gender is fluid"💀
I always hear “strict parents make sneaky kids”, but strict parents also make anxious kids, avoidant kids, insecure kids, dependent kids, sensitive kids, unfulfilled kids… the list goes on. you don’t need to be strict in your governing in order to raise a functional, happy child. coming from a person with strict parents
Free range parents also cause similar issues, just in a different way. I had divorced parents on opposite ends so just going off my experience. People always talk about the negatives of strict parents but not the free range ones. I wouldn’t have been wilding out at 16 addicted to drugs if my mom was more of a parent and less of a friend. I love my mom very much don’t give me wrong, but I wish she did more.
@@Taylor_mamaof2 as a child of divorce myself, i think we’ve found a more common denominator. parents with fluctuating disciplinary styles will inevitably instill conflicting values in a child, causing said child to act out.
@@Taylor_mamaof2 i don’t think i’d appreciate a free range parent, though. my heart goes out to you. children still need structure and guidance. i do think if my parents had been less controlling with my life, id be able to live it.
free range parents create entitled kids tho
@@Taylor_mamaof2I cannot speak for you personally, but the majority of drug issues, that happened during adolescence don't come from a lack of institutionalized structure it comes from a lack of stability. And genetics .You could be quite stable within a household that is not inherently strict. Just my experience as a recovering addict, and somebody that volunteers at youth drug recovery programs. The kids range from strict military kids, to absent parents.
the free range guy who has 8 kids and no phones doesn’t sound very free range.
Yeah he's like i have no rules within these rules like brother that's strict
Yeah, he’s literally one of the strictest ones in the video.
bro on the wrong side
What you see as free-range depends on your view.
The battery hen sees a pen as free-range, a pen hen sees a field as free-range.
@@Ramtamtamasure, and a moose is toothpaste because that's my view 😅
i'm disgusted by the guy in the blue shirt, the spanking comment, the fact he would be disapointed if his daughter didn't want kids, the way he talks about his children. honestly someone should check up on his kids.
Nope
You need to get a grip.
being dissapointed if his daughter doesnt want kids should be okay what? Doesn't mean you need to express them harshly, or love them less or force them. Might be crazy but he's allowed to have feelings. Your telling me ur parents never had dreams for you to achieve?
@@fierybl4de400 Parents can have dreams for their kids. But they shouldn't shame their children if they don't live up to those dreams. A child is a human being and not just an extension of their parents. People should be allowed to choose what they want to do with their own lives once they grow up. I personally want to have kids when I marry, but if my child decides they don't want kids, that's ok. Everybody's different and shouldn't be held to the exact same ideal of what their life "should" look like.
@@faithdrawing3858 ye i agree and stated no need to shame the child however you yourself can have feelings on the matter
@@fierybl4de400You can have feelings on the matter, but you shouldn't vocalize them
My cousin has strict parents, she was sneaking around to clubs at 13, taught me (5 years older) to smoke, drank before i did and as soon as she turned 18 moved out, only told them after she signed the lease. My parents were not strict, i only started drinking at 21, never was a party person and i tell my mom everything. Strict parents create kids who don't want anything to do with them
thats sad overprotective parents suck
Ok well parents were not strict at all, and my brothers and sisters stil did those things at 13 lol. It's the kid. They'd do it anyway
You confuse personality with education...
And out of that one lived experience you think that strict parenting will make children more prone to act out and be mischievous, which is a logical fallacy.
@mrs_xuan it's a factor, but sometimes it's just the personality of the kid. Kids are their own unique selves, too.
I'm disappointed by the amount of people who are either saying that you should let your child do anything without discipline or be super strict and not let them have privacy, a parent should be a mix of both, not too strict but not too permissive either.
Exactly. Balance…
💯💯💯💯💯💯
@@Aubrey2004-j4k fr
Yeah. You should really know when to lay down the rules and when to be lenient. People really need to learn how to pick their battles istg
@@ZoeiYang-Huynh ikr? I was so pissed reading the comments 😭
That mom checking her kids phone daily probably MADE him depressed geez ....... Especially as a teen, having your mom read your every private thought every day is really not healthy.
Yeah I became depressed for this exact reason and I felt like I lived in a prison and my mom just made it worse by doing this 💀
@@chrisandchenoa then just don't give them their own phones!
Give your phone to them when needed and take it back when not needed
@@chrisandchenoaThere's a risk in everything. By your standpoint, his pockets should be checked everyday.
A phone can be the deadliest thing a depressed child can have
So just give the kid a phone and potentially let predators and such contact them ? Of course you should monitor it . Especially with how common and dangerous it is today.
Spanking is not justified 😢violence is violence and don’t touch your kids. Sit down and talk to them at the age of 1-7 because they can’t comprehend why they are being physically assaulted by the people keeping them safe and that actually retaliates their future to using their hands to teach respect
If you are intentional I think it’s fine. That being said you should try other methods first
@@moviemelody2210the science does not agree with you. There isn’t a time when it’s ok. It’s literally never beneficial on a learning and development level.
Kids learn learn violence through violence. If they don't direct it outwards later on, they direct it inwards. It also teaches them to be afraid of talking to their parent when they are struggling because their parent is no longer a safe person.
@@livc3315 I absolutely agree. For me, it was inwards. For my brother, it was outwards. I don't remember ever seeing any real proof that hurting your kids is ok.
@@eatswithmeggie tHe sCiEnCe 🙄
Stephen is a strict parent. He needs to get a grip.
Haha agree
He probably sees himself as free-range because I'm guessing he was raised in an overbearing "my way or the highway" household, so allowing his children to put their elbows on the table makes him feel like a free-range parent.
I can’t stand him 🤢
@@evaedwards-stoll9036you're obviously not a parent.
@@evaedwards-stoll9036 bro just said be respectful in the video
There's a difference between teaching a child to fear you and teaching a child to respect you.
Yes this is true
I feel like eventually people choose to overcome their fear
There is way more influence in having someone respect you and showing them respect as well
Fear brings respect
@@brandoncammon7971fear might bring compliance and submission, but that's still not respect
@@brandoncammon7971no it doesn’t
Period
I will ALWAYS be under the belief that the stricter you are with your children, the more likely they will be more wild and more rebellious when they finally get away from you.
yup
@@AmiriHipHop there is a balance
I think it depends on the kid but I had friends growing up turn rebellious because of having strict parents
This is not always the case
also, could be the opposite, because they r so used to the parent's authority, when its time for them to be an adult and make their own decisions they'll be so clueless and need someone else to make decisions for them
My parents had the best parenting style. As a teen, I was going to parties. However, I had a phone and armed with knowledge about drugs/sex/alcohol. My parents DRILLED me about the dangers that exist out in the world BUT told me it was important to experience the world and make the best decisions based on my education. When I was at parties, sure I’d drink a little, and then I would call my parents to come get me. I wouldn’t get in the car with a drunk driver. The kids at the parties who were doing dangerous drugs, getting into trouble with cops etc were kids of extremely strict and religious parents. The WORST kids I knew, were sheltered. I appreciate my parents letting me be free in experience life even if I put myself in some less than desirable situations. But I was always always smart, protected myself, and knew when something became dangerous and it was time to leave. I’m so thankful for my “middle ground” parents and how they raised me. I will raise my son the same way.
That absolutely didn’t work for some of the kids I went to school with. So many were on drugs andpregnant by high school
@@jones2277their parents were either strict or very neglectful…….. not a free range or middle ground parent
@@jadedabratz7442 free range and strict are the two extremes.
@@jones2277 neglectful parents are free range or strict lmao………
@@jadedabratz7442 use your words, dear.
If Stephen was my dad when I turned 18 I would go no contact with him. Saying that you would be highly disappointed with your daughter for not having children...smh
He would probably still stay that to his daughter if she couldn't have kids.
I wouldn’t say I’d be disappointed but I mean, I feel like I have an image of my child of seeing them grow up, go to collage, have a career, get married and have kids and for them just to say I’m not having any kids ? Idk .. it’s a certain type of grief of a future you thought they’d have.. of course they have their own will to do whatever with their life but it’s on me to get pass that grief of what I thought my child’s life would be like.
@@michellegalvan0929that they don’t speak of what u said
@@digitallymarketablei guess that would be the life lesson he needs
@@michellegalvan0929that grief is normal. Sadness just like happiness are very important in life. Protect them from harm and unhealthy choices. Project what you would want, but keep it like that, a projection. The only commands have to come from a place of love, protection. Whether your kid chooses to do the same ir not, that grief will be there, it’s only natural. You’ve raised them. Water the plant, protect and keep it healthy everyday. If you have the privilege, nurture them, spend time with them with no objective but company and relationship building. The rest is not up to you. They will grow up.
strict guy in glasses is setting his daughters up for failure if relationships are the only thing he teaches them to care about 😬😬
How?
@@TrevorPhipps-vw6kr because there are so many other things in life than relationships that can fulfill a woman, trust me as a person who is growing up in an extremely strict household being told the same things, i have friends who are not growing up like me and they have so many other ambitions and are very fulfilled not in relationships or as mothers/parents.
@@chilledcheetah how dose that make him wrong?
@@TrevorPhipps-vw6kr because he's teaching them that raising a woman to be a mother is the ONLY way to be fufilled. thats wrong.
@@TrevorPhipps-vw6kr because being a parent isnt the only thing a woman should care about, she wont be happy if she doesn't do things for herself.
The father saying his daughter not becoming a mother would disappoint him is one of the reasons so many women have started to leave the church. The sons can be anything they want but daughters will ONLY find happiness being mothers and wifes is a load of cr@p
🎯🎯🎯
When the moderator said, "I think the ultimate question is. . . " I yelled "would you be disappointed in your sons if they didn't get married and become fathers?" I didn't even hear what he said after because all I could hear was the double standard for his sons vs daughters.
Why are you assuming they wouldn't be equally disappointed if their sons chose not to be fathers?? I think its pretty normal thing for parents to want both their sons and daughters to have an eventual family. Every mother and father wants grandkids.... Why are you framing it to be a bad thing and linking it to church? Do you have any data to back up your claim or are you just making up stuff on the spot
This
@@darko6115 Notice how they always say it about daughters and never about sons? Notice how sons are encouraged to be whatever they want to be but daughters aren't?
I'm a guy and was raised in a strict household and it's abhorrent how differently my sisters were treated compared to me and my brothers. It just reinforces harmful expectations and behaviours.
You know its bad when the strict parents are less strict that the free range one
18:49 As a child myself, I can say it hurts when your parents say you are free to do what you want in your life but we are disappointed that you are taking this decision.
Me to my dad who is on his 3rd divorce, " I do not want the same kind of life you have wanted or want for me. The idea of a wife and house doesn't seem so rewarding to me especially after seeing all you have gone through" my dad, " oh but you should still buy a house, you could do this, you could do that". I totally know what you mean.
So they have to agree with everything you do
Just as you as their child are allowed to not do what they hope you will do they are allowed to be disappointed in the decisions you make.
They can't force you to do things just as you can't make the be proud of all of your decisions.
My mom gave up on me when I was 15. It was the worst thing that had happened to me. It was way worse than when she was strict
@@emojicaptain7285 no, but if they truly love you they can be supportive. obviously.
I was raised by a free range single mom and I appreciate it so much. I see all my peers with so much anxiety and constantly hiding stuff. I'm a horrible liar because I never had to lie to my mom, when she said no I knew it was for a reason because she usually would allow me to do stuff. My mom always had boundaries for me but as I got older I would just want to be within those boundaries because I saw no need in pushing it. I never snuck out, never stole from her, never hid any boyfriends or friends from her ( The worst thing I did was have a friend or boyfriend over without asking her while she was at work) and I thank her daily. Im in med school and I see classmates who are in their mid 20s still scared to just tell their parents anything. My heart goes out to yall.
Thank you for sharing this. 🤎
Im sorry your parents failed you
@@dickmonddickelheimer9452lol
@@Taylor_mamaof2 theres a difference between free range and permissive. my mom was open to talk to me about everything but i came to the realization myself that its wrong.
@@HastiNvb everything isnt for everybody.
How disgusting to think that your daughter’s sole purpose in life is to produce children because that’s what YOU want and then to tell her you’d be disappointed and she’ll never find happiness?! Some people- MOST people should never ever have children and that guy is one of them
And I wouldn’t be surprised if his daughter never spoke to him again.
@@cherrysIushieyou a cat lady?
@@TingTingalingyu a dom? Cuz u sure seem to enjoy controlling😂
@@TingTingalingy Do you think women's sole purpose on the planet is to be a baby machine?
@@Melarona23 because I find you types unworthy to have your DNA continue? OP thinks the same thing, only difference, this guy's genetics are better then both of yours combined.
38:58 ma'am that is NOT gentle parenting, thats just not educating your children on rights and wrongs, you dont have to tell your kid that drugs are wrong by hitting them or yelling. from the start you should be telling your kids about the effects of drugs or alcohol and educating them about the consequences.
Gentle parenting is horrible and makes children into weak adults. What do you think caused all this gender confusion we have going on today?
@@PittBlu213 those aren't even remotely related.
@@PittBlu213then how is there still LGBTQ+ people in countries and families that are strongly against it?? And has been for decades
@@PittBlu213Yall have kids and don’t know how to use google or read a book to find out the meaning of words and it’s sad.
And you think they gonna listen? Lmao
Checking your 18 year olds phone is crazy
You’re literally the one paying for that bill??
@@bananabagel2 says who? they could've bought their own phone and are paying for it
@@bananabagel2so what?
@@bananabagel2 i mean sure technically if you pay for it you can check it but is it not insane that you feel you have to monitor someone who is legally an adult trying to develop into their own independent person. Monitoring another persons privacy without their consent is dehumanizing which can alter how you think people get to treat you as you get older. "Oh mom and dad looked through my phone so it makes sense that my husband/bf wants to look through my phone because it is normal to go through someone's privacy." I understand if the 18 yo is doing extreme behavior where parents need to step in to help them but other than that why?? You are just teaching them they can be controlled as they turn into an adult.
Surprised there aren't laws against that. In Australia, 18 year olds are literally adults. Reading your 18yo's phone would be like going through your neighbour's phone.
I never understand when parents say their child needs a phone and then gives them the latest iphone and get annoyed about what they do on the internet. If a child just needs it for safety they can have a nokia brick and that will serve just fine and they can use the internet on a shared computer at home or at school. The internet and a phone don't always need to be the same thing.
But phones nowadays are necessary for home to organise social gatherings through social medias. We have yo be realistic and not have them be alienated from their peers
@@Random-sk6hm That's what computers are for. Use social media on a computer and not a phone. That's a big reason why I'm not addicted to my phone.
@@Random-sk6hm Because more of the f***ed up sh** on social media is definitely what kids need. Brick phones work perfectly fine until they have the mental fortitude to realize what a joke social media and its proponents are.
@@Random-sk6hmA teenager, I agree that they need a smartphone. But seeing 7 year olds with iPhone 15s making Tiktoks and posting Tweets is wild to me 😭 give those kids a Nokia brick, that's too young for social media
kids are now embarrassed of the brick phone, plus most parents usually do hand me downs
julibee please make a video on kids who were raised with strict parents vs free range
I wanna be on this episode haha
@@herr0nicoleme too haha
YESSS
I’d love to be on this episode (I had real strict parents) you might be surprised on my take on it too
please @julibee
blue jacket lady seems chill af
Need more like her
The guy who didn't let his kids have a phone before she started driving, and the one who said that he'll be disappointed if his daughter doesn't have kids, triggered me so much throughout the video. He honestly seemed so overcontrolling to his kids, wouldn't be surprised if they secretly rlly dislike him
you're projecting and that's disgusting.
He is a radical Christian
Omg STOP WITH THE PROJECTING 💀💀
Yeah I fell bad for his children
@@arthurcheater3359 not what projecting means
"My sons are a lot more action-driven; I spank them much more often than my daughters" is insane to me.
If you become a parent who has hundreds of preconcieved notions about differences between boys and girls while being completely oblivious to the fact that your assumptions influence the way you parent your kids (e.g. how you interpret their behaviours, manage your expectations towards them, the way you show them affection and MUCH MORE), you're not someone who understands the dynamics of how different sexes operate in the world. You simply have a blind-spot about the way your demeanour influences your children. It's a case of false causation at best.
Agreed!
This. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy and just reinforces harmful behaviours and expectations that harm everyone
But boys and girls are different tho.
Spanking a child at all is incredibly questionable. There are instances that call for you to use physical force, such as physically dragging them to bed if they refuse to go to bed. But there is no reason to use physical punishment on a minor.
Admitting to abusing his children is wild
Lowk DISGUSTING that the father with 8 kids thinks that his daughters should HAVE to be housewives and has to fulfill his duties. That’s gross that he puts on a label that he does NOT want his daughters to become successful and have a big strong career. I feel bad for those girls, I hate the two labels of “mothers do this” and “men do that” sickening.
Exactly and it's all about HIS happiness and his beliefs and not theirs.
My dad is like this. He even told me not to go to college and then scolded me when I decided to continue on to grad school. Yet, he was fast to take credit for my successes. I still love my dad but it's obvious that he sees women as "less than."
@@cheyenne7982 oh my gosh I’m so sorry you didn’t get that support from him, education is so important and not easy to get. Grad school!!
it’s only natural though
So what? People find same sex relationships disgusting… does that make it a valid objection? 😑
"our kids dont have phones because blah blah blah" no bro your kids don't have phones because you have EIGHT KIDS 😭😭😭
To the dude who basically said you're gonna have to have kids whether u like it or not....your kids gonna put u in a retirement home so fast😂
Has he ever thought though what if his daughter cannot have kids? Is he going to call her a failure?
😂😂😂😂
@@inesarif8497 She might even end up saying it if he is ok only in a medical condition for her to not have kids.
i hope that they decide not to have kids cause that crazy
"If my kids disrespect me i hit them" is THE weakest thing you can say. How small of a Person do you have to be to react to your kids disrespect with physical abuse? Abuse will never lead to respect. It WILL Lead to fear
As a minor, i dont think it's abuse unless it's causing lasting harm and/or constantly every day type of thing for no reason. Giving them a spank for being disrespectful is fine. I've seen so many kids that are actually so rude and disrespectful and usually it's a result of parents not punishing them for that stuff. They sart thinking it's okay. I agree spanking can be taken too far but if you do it once in a while for punishment it's fine.
Putting quotations on that makes it seem like one of them said exactly that. They didn't. It's not a fair summary either. If I had kids, I wouldn't spank them. However, there is a BIG DIFFERENCE between spanking as an expected consequence for certain things... and a drunk poor-excuse-of-a-man smacking his kids around at random in a rage.
Not the same.
@@petitsacados 33:40 that is pretty much what he's saying. He is just making it sound alot less extrem but thats what he is doing
@@petitsacadosno. You’re still hitting your kids, I don’t care if your kid disrespected you, if your response is to strike them then you are awful and misguided, get a grip on parenthood.
Or revenge
being too strict is not healthy, but being too free range is also very problematic for the child.
Balance is best
I agree. Though I will say, the free range parents on this episode seemed very balanced. Boundaries, but implemented with love
Does the parent who tells his children "You know I don't wanna do this. I hate this" while hitting his kids not realise he sounds like an abusive partner??
that was disgusting 💀
Disciplining your child is hard no matter the method. Yes he could have worded it differently but it doesn’t make it any less true
my jaw dropped after he said his daughter isn't gonna find happiness if she doesn't have kids
It’s true you probably don’t have kids so you can’t really explain the feeling a child gives you when they are yours
You just sound like a Kamala Harris sound bite
😂😂😂spelling
They always put pressure on the women and not the men
My African parents tell me this all the time 😭
There are many women who hadn’t had kids and deeply regret it
The guy with 8 kids probably thinks free range is allowing your daughter to choose how many kids she wants
As long as it’s at least 4 lol
😂😂
That was loaded 😂
HAHAH
as a someone who has a overly strict parent, its actually very exhausting because my mom doesn’t believe that i should have privacy. im not allowed to have friends or talk to other people nor am i allowed to keep anything from her, she constantly watches everything i do and doesn’t think i should have privacy or keep things to myself. she checks my phone every day and keeps tabs on what apps i use and who i talk to. im only ever allowed to talk to my family and no other person, whenever i do make a friend or met someone she’ll get mad with me. she said she wants me to enjoy being a kid but i actually wish i could be an adult because she’s very controlling. im also homeschooled so thats why i want friends so badly bc sometimes i dont always want to talk with my siblings.
I am sorry you are going through that
I'm so sorry you're going through this :( sounds very similar to my upbringing, get out of there as soon as you can!!!
I can also relate. I love my parents very much, i do. But sometime I feel that anger come in me, thinking about how they stole my privacy from me in many instances especially as a teenager, we deserve our own space a little.
that is so sad im sorry. ur mum sounds paranoid and i hope she comes to terms with that so u can have a proper childhood
Force her to go to therapy with you. You need a mediator and someone that has no skin in the game. You’ll be able to say all this to her without being at risk. If she refuses to go, find a way to offer to pay (maybe get a really part time job-that will show her you are mature). If she still won’t go, you now have the ability to say that you don’t deserve to be monitored considering the fact that she doesn’t have the maturity to go to therapy and deal with things and yet you do. Never give her-or anyone that’s controlling-the ability to give an excuse. Never give them an out. Air-tight seal on every strategy. Yes, it sucks to play mental chess but it’s the only way. Controlling people aren’t generally receptive when you try and appeal to their emotions or try to have them put themselves in your shoes. They are too far gone.
“Spanking” aka being physically violent is abuse. Wild how it’s justified
It’s not physical abuse if used correctly
I’m not saying I agree with it but some kids really just don’t stop when they begin to realize there aren’t physical consequences
a smack on the butt isn’t abuse, now punching your kid across the face is CRAZY abusive. it’s just correcting, teach your kids to respect you
@@Mrprodigy7801 but in my opinion physical discipline isn't solving the issue. It's just teaching your kids to fear you.
@@moviemelody2210yes it is, period.
They should bring the children and see their pov. It would be quite interesting
Most of the kids would probably fear to say the truth because of the discipline after, coming from a kid w strict parents.
As a swede, I can never understand how religion is always such an important factor in every single debate topic that americans have, while in sweden (and whole scandinavia) we're maybe 90% atheists. I of course respect everyone who has their own religion, I just can't relate how it is to be in a society like that, and why this topic has to influence and be in every single U.S debate
It’s only Christians that bring their religion into almost every “debate”
im American and im really jealous of how Scandinavia does things. the values are so ideal for me. non-religious/atheists, liberal, universal healthcare, anti-corporal punishment, decent wages, etc. ik nowhree is perfect but its not a coincidence your region has the best living conditions in the world.
The thing is if you are actually religious it will permeate through all aspects of your life (at least in Christianity and Islam to my knowledge but probably in more) so it is impossible to simply set it aside
It definitely shapes a lot of ethic and moral choices as well as values. Most of the debates on Jubilee revolve around values so it makes sense that the topic of faith comes up. It also makes sense that those debates rarely (if ever) find middle ground. 😅
As a Pole (most Poles claim to be catholic) I definitely see the problem with it, especially when faith dictates governance...
@@MsDudette21 you are more than welcome! ❤
The dads saying they believe their daughters would be happiest as mothers is the biggest eyeroll. I’ve heard that all my life and I have zero desire to have children. I am happily married, great career, and fulfilling myself and how I choose to live my life. My dad forcing those ideals on me of motherhood hurt our relationship more than anything because he wanted me to adapt to the future he saw for me instead of supporting and trusting me to know what would make me happiest in the end. Not all women are meant to be mothers (or even want to) and that’s okay! Parents should want the best for their kids even if their lifestyle choices are different that their own.
It’s when he said GROSSLY disappointed, that is wild. There’s a lot of people who find happiness in different directions, none of any of us are the same as eachother, I would want my kid to just be happy, I would be disappointed if they were doing bad things in their life and causing harm to themselves and others but I would do all I could to help them be okay. But what he said that’s not something to be disappointed in.
Your bloodline is done
@@Christistheking-p3n You don’t know that. You don’t know anything about them. They might have siblings who will carry on the bloodline and even if the bloodline stops who cares? The world is crowded anyway.
This 😭 I've seen so many newborns with moms who don't gaf or who literally aren't capable to home children; both go into the system. Not all women need children, I need people to understand that 😭🙏🏾
@@Christistheking-p3nas a woman who is never having kids, I don’t care. I’m not royalty. It’s 80 degrees a week before November, all our bloodlines are done for. I’m not bringing kids into this world. Even if we lived in a utopia, i just don’t want them. I don’t want to be pregnant, give birth, wake up in the night with a crying baby, etc.
They have no clue what gentle parenting is. They are taking about permissive parenting. Gentle parenting gives kids boundaries and understanding natural consequences and their emotions. It’s not that they don’t have structure.
No because
Basically it just depends if we're talking about prescriptive or descriptive definitions
By a prescriptive definition, no. They're not talking about gentle parenting. But by a descriptive, yes they are. So many people have claimed to be gentle parents while really being permissive parents that at this point they really mean the same thing
The guy with the 8 kids definitely didn’t let his girls watch the Barbie movie
the guy with the 8 kids is gonna be present in all their lives
@@F10Dannytaunting them forever?
@@bottlee200 not abandoning them atleast
@@F10Danny not if the kids have anything to say about it, that type of parenting will just lead to atleast one of his 8 children cutting him off.
@@F10Dannyif thay was my dad I wouldn't want him to
Hitting another adult is literally illegal, I’m not sure why people think is should be any different when it comes to hitting children
Hitting and spanking is different
@@moviemelody2210 if you ‘spanked’ an adult that was not consenting it would be seen the same in law as hitting them. It’s frankly semantics
@@Bringon-dw8dxthe difference is Spanking is done on a specific part of the body for a specific purpose, hitting is not. An adult (who can grasp complex issues) does not need the physical reminder that if you walk into the road you will probably get hit by a car
@@moviemelody2210
You could hit an adult on a specific part of their body for a specific purpose… it’s still assault.
Why is your child that is so young you can’t explain the risk of a road anywhere near a road without holding an adults hand?
Hitting your child is a form of lazy parenting
@@Bringon-dw8dx do you have children? there are dozens of kids that constantly take off before parents could calmly walk them across a street/parking lot. Also what reason are adults being hit? Aggression? That’s not why most people spank their kids. Most of them are being spanked to teach them not to do something.
I completely respect your opinion on non spanking but to say they are the same doesn’t make sense to me.
How is Stephen free range??? Needs to be on the other side
Spots were filled 😂
I think a huge problem with strict parents in the way many of them spoke is that they view gentle parenting as a lack of parenting. I am a gentle parent with a ton of structure and rules regarding safety, kindness and respect. I do not put my hands on my children or scream at them, if I lose my temper and raise my voice I hold myself accountable and have no problem apologizing to my child because I am a human and so are they so if I deserve kindness and respect, so do they. Too many strict parents are hypocritical on their behaviour from my perspective, their kid can’t hit but they can, their kid can’t yell but they can, their kid has to be safe but they don’t etc.
That one mom talking about being a “free-range” mom but actually just describing how she didn’t parent her kids is insane
people with the maturity and intelligence level as her should not be legally allowed to have kids tbh
@@jibblejabble2249So, no blck people?
@@deonbrown4533 very incorrect. race is actually a social construct unique to every country and just bc this black woman is an absolute menace lol doesn't mean that all are. for example gabby thomas is a very smart very competent black woman
18:20 How you gonna say, “I have raised you to be an independent person, capable of making your own decisions” but then follow up with “ I am grossly disappointed” and “ I don’t think you’re going to find happiness there”??????????
Every is entitled to their opinion I guess haha
It's not exactly contradictory. You can raise your child to be capable of making decisions and be disappointed in those decisions.
@@HauntedOne666the implication is that you're making the wrong decisions with that, and there's an active component of shaming. There's definitely instances you should express disappointment, but the subject they were discussing definitely isn't one of those times.
@@HauntedOne666 "im not gonna help you, youre free to make your own choices, but also, im ashamed that youve made this poor choice that I could have given you guidance for"
That's like saying you can't be disappointed in them choosing to become a drug addict
I will never EVER understand why people spank their kids and think it's acceptable. Why should you be allowed to hit someone bc they are a kid? Why abuse the most defenseless people in society? In Sweden it's illegal and you can get up to two years in prison.
I totally agree! Here in Germany everybody would be outraged if someone said they hit their kids. That’s violence and abuse. I can not understand how that is still normal in the US
parents should spank their children until a specific age.
Yhea its mindblowing
@@lollyworld7507 I feel like thats the only way I learned sometimes when I was a kid. Kids aren't smart enough to always understand morality or are too stubborn to get it, so you have to teach them in a language that they will understand.
What a liberal load of 💩
Children need consequences that matter to them.
Time outs, grounding, chores etc. rely on the cooperation of the child.
Discipline should not be a negotiation.
Why is the free-range parent with 8 kids so strict?? As a kid with chill parents who I'm very grateful for I would not want that guy to be my dad.
Jeanette: "We wont check your phone unless you give us reason.
Jeanette 10 sec earlier: We check their phones on a daily basis.
mom I'm beating my meat leave me alone! she's gonna have that situation come up lmao
@@baeberWhat does beating your meat have to do with getting your cell phone checked?
@@deonbrown4533p0rn
@@deonbrown4533Think about it about for a moment. I think you’ll get there 😂
@@deonbrown4533it’s a joke that teenagers beat off while watching 🌽
Here’s a thing what jubilee should do:
While you take in contestants for middle ground, make sure: people who “claim” to be in a certain category actually belong to that “certain” category…like take a short quiz and check the results on which side they “really” align…or else they would end up with someone like the blue t-shirt guy with 8 kids who believes that he is free ranger parent…cause that thing was a joke fr
so one slipped through, who cares, still an interesting discussion that led to tons of views and comments. How about. you do all that work rather than telling Jubilee to do more. Thanks Jubilee for this video and the work that it took
@@DD-rh2sz no not just one. so many of them were speaking ill about what they call "gentle parenting" and then they go on and describe their own parenting style and its... gentle parenting. And one of them literally admitted that, when calling it a "semantic discourse".
Middle Ground Idea: Parents vs. Childfree
Is it selfish to not want kids?
Can people without kids give parenting advice?
Should people receive tax breaks for being parents?
Oh yes I'd love this one !
Maybe even antinatalists ?
Yes please, I’m 24 and get the question all the time about having kids it’s a big topic with how expensive
YES
To me this shouldn't even be a discussion. Like of course people can chose not to have kids... its absolutely none of my business.
I want to be mother, but I don’t think it’s my “life’s purpose”. So many mothers turn out absolutely miserable because their entire life revolved around their kids.
US parenting is totally different than other parts of the world. French women are told to have their own lives aside from their kids. It’s boggling
@@AppleBottomJHuh? What are you talking about? There's no single style of parenting that everyone is abiding by. What dictator is telling French women how to live their lives? 😂
Also, as a parent, your life is your child. You can't just go off and do what you want when you have a kid to take care of.
@@DavidKen878 parenting style is dif everywhere (family to family) and there are more common styles depending on culture/societal norms (aka country and region of the world)
Wow, the circle jerk about spanking your children was embarrassing to say the least.
Jaw on the floor! Let’s all talk about physically harming our child ….
It is very disgusting.
@@Mnicolette130circle jerk?
Why?
The mindset of the blue guy. Realise how it’s always men talking how women will be fulfilled in life even when women says they aren’t.
😢
im sure he has opinions on how men should live to be happy too. if it was a given fact that individuals always know whats best for them then nobody would bother having opinions like this, but thats obv not how it works
54:40 Queen, your son did NOT become a junkie just because you stopped praying. By attributing everything wrong in her and her son's lives to 'I stopped going to church', it really shows she hasn't done ANY introspective or reflective work. Gosh, some people should really not become parents.
I agree, But it also make sense to include spiritual things, because it's the thing that can guide or be foundation of value and discipline when "NO ONE SEES YOU".
@@OCN-Tvagreed, by her saying that she stopped going to church it can also symbolize that she lost her moral compass.
@@OCN-Tv You don't need religion or even spirituality for that. You can have morals and guidance without those two.
@@Criner05 But how a person stay in character when no one sees? like lying and manipulating, or like in this case "Junkie"? What's a foundation to keep in moral if you believe "only" what you can see?
(I don't want to judge, just lemme understand your perspective)
To say some people should not be parents simply because they lack something you have come to recognize as important is an interesting assertion. If that is your take, no one should be parents because we all lack something. I think that parenting helps people grow. Some people succeed in growing and others do not, but simply because we can see the imperfections people have when it comes to raising their own kids should not justify someone in being able to say some people should really not be parents.
will not be shocked when all 8 kids have nothing to do with their dad in the future.
everytime he opened his mouth, my jaw dropped.
Stephen is NOT a free range parent 💀
As someone whose parent continued to pull text records from my phone into adulthood (I know, I know, I made the mistake of staying on their plan instead of getting on my own believing them when they said they stopped checking my phone at 18), we don’t talk anymore. That invasion of privacy was unforgivable. That parent did many other vile and abusive things but the privacy invasion of having records pulled into my twenties is something I still have to unpack in therapy.
There's also a big difference in a parent checking a teens phone to make sure they are avoiding creeps on the internet vs a mom checking text records of a legal adult. I don't blame you one bit for cutting off contact. What she did is wrong.
@@laurennegley6905 Oh for sure! Just relating where I can.
@@laurennegley6905 let be more honest should've stopped at 16
The stricter and more protective you are with your child, the more he or she will want to do what you forbid. A child should not be allowed to do everything he or she wants, but a middle ground must be found
Exactly. I think during the initial years they should obviously have supervision but as they get older and become more independent and learn to take on more responsibility, parents should trust and guide them into being more free and independent.
Wrong. That’s just reverse psychology mumbo jumbo that you intuitively think happens.
This is true if you study patenting styles in psychology. The style that breeds the best children is setting boundaries that your kids understand. But also allowing them to make mistakes and suffer the consequences bc that's how we learn. And when they do cross these boundaries we explain further so they understand
snaps to the guy with the dreads, i agreed w so much of his views
“free range” blue shirt will never have a relationship with his kids after they leave lmao
The sad thing is they will probably turn out just as brainwashed as him
Checking a child's phone after they turn 18 is absolutely ludicrous. I completely understand the standpoint of checking it when they're under 18, but once they become an adult there's no reason to. The child's now an adult, their lives are in their hands, even IF they still live under your roof. They've become their own person who can make their own decisions - and whether those are educated ones or not is completely up to them.
With the debate about parenting boys differently than girls, it kinda seemed like the parents were just addressing the differences in the personalities of their kids rather than the differences in sex
100%. I have two daughters and they're very different in nature. I am also one of nine and have mostly brothers and most have very typically feminine traits/personalities. I can't for the life of me understand why people insist that people have set personality traits based on their reproductive anatomy. People are just people. It's not that hard of a concept lol.
Listening to this while being pregnant and making a ‚what not to do‘ list. Top contributors are Stephen and Jeanette. I feel sorry for their children.
The free range parent with 8 kids is not free range at all. He mentioned he’s “had” to spank one of his boys up to 3 times a day sometimes. That’s very strict and I believe he’s actually abusive. If you can’t handle a child without being violent with them you don’t need to be a parent. At some point you’re hitting them out of frustration and not because you believe it’s actually discipline. I see why he doesn’t want them to have phones because they might call the police for help. Hitting kids is lazy parenting because it takes away having to actually figure out what non-violent forms of discipline work for a child.
Except, if the child doesn't wanna do any of that 'discipline' like standing in the corner or writing sentences, etc.... what are you going to do?
Physical discipline has been a thing for centuries. This idea that its abuse is new. There is a difference between punching your child and spanking them.
What are YOU going to do if your child isn't going to listen? If you can't use physical force, then you're kinda screwed if your child is stubborn and won't listen.
@@TheDarktornado You can take away things like their toys or phone from them
@@TheDarktornado The idea that a husband hitting his wife is abuse is new too. The idea that a husband forcing himself on his wife is rape is new too. Things are changing, there are a lot of new things. That does not mean it was any less abusive back then than it is now
@@lentilsoup460 What if they told you no and to go F yourself? You cant PHYSICALLY take away anything from them because it would be abuse.
So what would your next step be to actually enforce it?
spot on. great comment. i feel this way too
(8 Kids father) Expressing disappointment yet showing respect of a child's decision and offering support reflects honesty and love. However, stating "You can make the decision BUT I'm grossly disappointed you came to that conclusion because I don’t think you will not find happiness" is NOT a free-range approach that can negatively impact the daughter’s self-esteem. Such a statement may lead her to feel inadequate and manipulate her thoughts, causing her to overanalyze her choices in adulthood and prioritize her father's desires over her own aspirations. This dynamic can foster internal pain, insecurity, and resentment towards her father.
Agreed. He is not free range
It’s the grossly disappointed part my face dropped when he said that, his daughter is meant to grow up to live her own life and make her own choices. He has had his life of choosing to have children, what is wrong with these parents. Imagine saying I don’t want kids and your father just looking down on you your whole life and saying to you that your life will forever be miserable because you chose not to have kids, there are so many parents who have kids and have told me never to get married or have kids.
This group has no idea about proper gentle parenting. I don’t have kids, but was raised with a Montessori philosophy in mind and went on to provide guidance in a Montessori school. I, now, use this approach as my nannying style.
Gentle parenting doesn’t shy away from disciplining your child. You have to be consistent and communicate the consequences of their actions. Also, giving the child choices doesn’t equate to getting what they want. You have to build healthy boundaries and you can do that without threatening or demeaning them. They will learn to decide for themselves confidently.
Thanks for listening to my TED Talk! 🤘🏼
You don't have kids. You don't have any idea what you're talking about.
Stick to what you know
@@anonymousbo0318 Being a nanny is being an alloparent, sometimes Nannies see kids MORE than the birth parents do.
This is brilliant, thank you!
@@anonymousbo0318 you don’t have to have kids to know how to read children in a healthy way.
Some of the best teachers of children are those without kids.
People like to use this excuse to say “oooo but when you have kids who knows what you’ll do”. It’s an excuse
@@keithmutamba1395 100% 🙏
Ahh yes my weekly jubilee rage bait😂bro really said once they start driving we might consider a simple phone,i feel bad for his kids🤦♂️
literally yes, i should honestly block jubilee from poping up in my home page because of how mad these vids make me
If the guy in blue with 8 kids thinks he's a free-range parent, I fear to know what he thinks is a strict one.
hhahhahah
Strict parents makes sneaky kids
Can confirm, it worked on me
Can confirm
I'm 17, have a secret RUclips account, secret computer, secret discord on said computer, social media on computer, hidden apps on my phone, etc.
@@WEEBLE_FORCEand ig you didnt have a phone you couldnt do that
So
@@mikeasydacheezy1785so in that case being strict works
stephan was literally the most strict for him saying hes "free range"
He is ick!
his idea of free range is letting the daughters pick what kind of meal to help their mom cook. rather than say talking about what they wanna be when they grow up and how many kids they _may_ want to have.
He thinks he's free range because he hasn't gone full Handmaids Tale on his daughters
Am I the only one that’s like- all these parents are pretty chill? I must’ve just been that neglected. I’d have loved anyone of these parents
15:16 if my son wants to be a house husband he sure can if my daughter wants to be a businesswoman then go ahead.
I agree. Not all men and women are meant for the same type of role. I know that if I were a stay-at-home mother, I would be very unhappy because with my personality being the way it is, I need activities to do outside of the house and I need to be up on my feet doing something for most of the day. My boyfriend even said he would love to be a stay-at-home husband if he was able to. Sure, one gender may be more likely to be in a certain role than the other, but it’s harmful to generalize that EVERYONE in that gender is meant for that role. Women and girls in other countries are literally fighting for their rights because they WANT a career over a marriage.
This is an example of you ignoring biology and setting your kids up to be unhappy. I would never encourage my son to put himself in an emasculated role within his own nuclear family and I would not set my daughter up to experience loneliness and depression in her 30s and 40s and 50s because she opted out of motherhood to pursue business. You’re doing your children at a service.
@@jamikapalmer7774 there’s so many things wrong with your statement I don’t even know where to start
@@jamikapalmer7774First of all back in older times women had to be mothers or else they would be singled out of society and look where that got us. They were not happy because they were not getting their rights. Second there is no “biology” that shows proof that women are better as mothers 100% of the time and all women have to be mothers. Third have you ever thought about women who physically cannot have kids? They weren’t set up by their parents they were just made that way. Fourth if you look at any women with a job Sabrina carpenter, Kamala Harris, LITERALLY ANY WOMEN THAT IS NOT A STAY AT HOME MOM you can see they are living a life depression free. So you are just wrong.
if you're the dad saying you'd be GROSSLY disappointed if your daughter didn't have kids because you think shed be unhappy - is absolutely outrageous.
I get it, there has to be a balance in parenting. But strict parenting styles can be dangerous for kids. For me, I ended up in the hospital at 16 because I didn’t feel comfortable telling my family about my depression because I thought I would disappoint them and be in trouble. They would read my diary and go through my iPod touch and I became a very sneaky kid to protect my privacy.
If he's really worried that she won't find happiness by not having kids, then that's the adjective he would've used: worried. He didn't say that, he said "disappointed" because she's not doing what he wants.
the obsession with their daughters having children is so weird to me
i think its fine to expect your kids to continue your bloodline. gayness is just degenerate behavior
they let their misogyny dictate their worldview. the guy with 8 kids who said "there are characteristics that are barely universal among those two" when talking about the male and female genders was completely WRONG.
social psychology has proven time and again that there is more overlap between the two genders (on a psychological and BIOLOGICAL level even) than there is exclusion.
its always been so strange.
Getting*
It's not an obsession, it's natural. It is natural to want your offspring to continue your genetic lineage. It's weird NOT to be that way and is arguably self-destructive.
These parents have no idea what actual “gentle parenting“ is. There are natural consequences for behavior and that is a major part of gentle parenting. I’m a gentle parent BUT I’m not permissive. My kid has age appropriate boundaries and has natural consequences when he steps out of those boundaries. I don’t spank because I’m teaching my child that when he does something wrong he is going to be met with love, understanding and respect, not abuse. For example if he hits a child, we stop the behavior, have him apologize for his behavior and figure out why he was hitting in the first place. I’d say “You are feeling frustrated. You hit your friend because they took your toy. That is not okay. Here is a better way to deal with that feeling.” If you start from day one, it works.
This. It really frustrates me that people think gentle parenting is letting your kids do whatever they want with no consequences. Its just a narrative they choose to believe to feel better about their strict and abusive parenting
What are those "natural consequences" ?
Yes! Parents teach violence with abuse (verbal and physical) and then proceed to wonder aloud why their children are “acting out” or being violent. So they meet it with more violence. It’s a messed up cycle.
I love how it's the toughest most masculine looking guy who says he raises his boys and girls the same.
catering to each kids personality is probably the best way to raise them, not only does it make the kids feel more seen but overall makes a healthy relationship
Everyone needs to realize that boys and girls learn differently and behave differently. Thus you have to raise them differently.
@@Criner05Every individual kid behaves and learns differently. Some kids like pink, others blue, others orange, some of them like playing with dolls, others out in the dirt. Not because they are a certain gender, but because people in general are all different. That‘s what we have to get into our heads, not the boy and girl gender roles society made up.
24:00 “if you were born without a leg you have to accept you dont have a leg.” yes you were born without a leg, but there are prosthetics than can be used to improved your quality of life not just physically, but mentally too. this can be the case with transitioning, its not just “i was born in the wrong body” its “my body doesnt fit who i am” everyone changes something about themselves physically in life whether its cutting their hair, getting tats, getting piercings, dental work, etc. thats changing who you are on the outside to fit who you are mentally, that doesnt mean theres anything wrong with you.
Jubilee keeps on adding imposters in these videos thinking we won’t notice😂😂
😂😂😂
My parents always openly discussed everything with me and encouraged me to be honest with them. Even when i would go to parties, my mom would say, "If you drink you can call me to come pick you up anytime". I didnt drink until after high school and now dont drink. My parents also told me if i ever wanted to smoke pot as a teenager i could just try it in the house where its safe. I didnt try it until college. Not everyones experience of course bur for me, feeling mutual trust with my parents made me not feel any need to rebel or hide anything from them.
Sounds like you have great parents
I really felt for all the children of the parents featured here.
When that mom said shes way stricter to her daughter, it was like 💡💡💡 yeahhhhhhhh i know exactly the type of person she is ......
Then when that other mom said "men are the leaders of the household you have to teach them theyre stronger" 🤢🤢🤢 thats why so many men abuse women...... A lot of them are raised by their mothers to be like that.
Hearing so many parents trying to justify "overdisciplining" (ABUSING) their sons is sickening too.
I haven’t gotten to that point yet but I take that as more of they need to protect their daughters more thus having “less freedom” sometimes. It’s more dangerous for a teenage girl to go out at night compared to a teenage boy, it’s a sad reality.
You make statements but there is no logical link between each one.
@@InitialDraal wrong their 1000% is. the root of it is that society creates toxic men by putting them on a pedestal and letting them get away with more then they should.
Are you a parent? Curious
They teach kids that it's okay to physically hurt someone you love then wonder why domestic violence rates are so high and so many men in particular are emotionally stunted.
Fyi I'm a guy.
"I have a mischievous son who never does anything wrong"
Sir wtf do you think mischievous means?😂😂
Lack of privacy and autonomy contributes to depression
How does a lack of privacy lead to depression?
Based on her comment, it seems he was depressed before she started checking his phone daily
@@bardoomguyit does
@@bottlee200 "it does" does not answer my question
@@bardoomguythey didnt say that alone solely leads to depression. they said it contributes/adds to it; there's a difference. not being able to have your own personal space and be able to grow as a person by yourself can cause dependency and a lack of a sense of self. humans naturally crave independence
I feel like there has to be a balance between the two. Validate your child’s emotions and experiences, talk to them how you would want to be talked to, while also creating healthy boundaries and structure.
Validate your child’s emotions and experiences? children are emotionally immature and need guidance on how to interpret what is happening in their life. What do you mean?
@@bardoomguy I think she means that you should validate your child's emotions by not telling them what to feel or dismissing their feelings. For example, my mom always told me that I should have no problems because I am young, and young people are "supposed to be happy." I grew up with a ton of resentment for her, and it has lessened with time, but I still do not trust her opinions.
A lot of people just see their kids as emotionally immature (which is valid) but end up being extremely dismissive (because they do not trust or respect their kids' choices), which breaks the trust between parent and child.
@@marianne3802 Yes I would agree with this example. I'm just a bit skeptical of the original claim. An example I saw first hand was how a mom did not want others to quiet her tantrum throwing child because "she should learn how to express her feelings". What makes it even worse is that the mom is supposedly formally educated in the field. And then there's things I can't get into without being censored on this platform. Some of the new parenting choices these days are really risky.
@@bardoomguyin terms of tantrums, psychologically and scientifically, we know that young children are not able to calm themselves down during a tantrum. the best way to handle a tantrum is to remove them from the area so they can calm down somewhere. it makes sense that she’s formally educated on the topic, but yes you shouldn’t just let children throw tantrums everywhere. tantrums are, however, natural and they are the child’s way of expressing their intense emotions
@@ethanflores9180 That's not the case here. She doesn't respect the authority of the parents. Children aren't rational, but they do know when you're bluffing, so if parents don't draw a line and stick to it, then they'll try to use their outcry to get what they want. They also need to learn that part of being a social being is to respect others around you, and that includes not throwing tantrums, wherever they may be.
GAH!
Children do not owe their parents respect. Parents owe their children love, and EARN respect from them by how you conduct yourself. Punishing your child for simply not "giving respect" is abusive.
Exactly
The same way no one has to respect some strangers pronouns. Not my job to care about random strangers.
You give your children life and you have to earn their respect? wow
@@deonbrown4533 i'm don't agree with that crazy things of pronouns, but... how is talking about that?? don't be that lame.
@@Jaysaflame by been a responsible parent you got their respect, you could give them life but if you don't race them, they are not gonna have respect for you.