My Dad Stole $20,000 From Me!
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- Опубликовано: 13 дек 2020
- My Dad Stole $20,000 From Me!
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There’s a reason her grandfather skipped over the parents and sent the money straight to her.
Gosh, when a child sees their parents through adult eyes it hurts....
Tremendously....
I've seen that since 7 years old.
@@larissagonzales6075 I'm so sorry
@Josh I disagree. All of us are humans and all have faults. As a child you think your parents can do no wrong. When you finally see them as flawed humans, it hurts. This was a compassionate statement I made.
@@Hillside-Hive i agree, it hurts more when you learn that they learned this mindset(doesn't have to be about money) from their parents, and their grandparents and you start to wonder how many generations its been going on.
By the sound of her voice. Nothing gonna happen.
It's not easy to confront your own parent at such level. She's raised in that environment of poor boundaries I would be surprised if she's got the skills to set boundaries.
@@jvm-tv You're right! I'm reminded of a Dumbledore quote ""It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.” Standing up to your parents in a situation like this certainly sounds challenging!
@Far Above Rubies Exactly! If I stole 20k from my dad or he stole 20k from me, neither one of us would have the slightest problem with confrontation.
Too many parents have this "my kids owe me" mentality.
@@jvm-tv I hate this. I knew someone this way, they grew up with their family avoiding conflict and confrontation. So they didnt have healthy communication skills. It’s not an excuse though. We are suppose to live, learn and evolve! I hope she can make the right decision for herself.
"I don't know when I'll pay it back." = This is not a loan.
Right he's a theif.
True.
That’s a robbery
Yes that is really bad .
I’m yelling at my phone “GET OFF THE PHONE AND CLOSE THE ACCOUNT IMMEDIATELY, Stop giving him extra time to steal more!!!!”
she cant close the account its his account hes the administrator
She can open another account and transfer
@@BusArch42 she shouldve been done that
She can't take his name off, but she can close it.
I think (not 100% sure) that with it being a joint account, she can't close the account completely without Dad's signing off on that, but she CAN transfer all of the remaining money to a separate account. I'd have the same bank open a savings account with just my name, and then move the $20k that's left into it. Then take my name off the joint account.
90% chance she didn't do anything
@Sharon Hill-Walker I suffered from a father like this. I didn't have uncle ramsey to set me straight. But when I hit 25 I had a very serious conversation with my dad, and I ended all his nonsense for good. It was hard to do. I wasn't rude or disrespectful, but I was stern. I knew he was petty so I was prepared for the worst.
The fact is that family members can have some serious character flaws, and we shouldn't make excuses for them.
100%
I hope she moved the remaining money to a new account at least. But ya, I doubt she is going to demand he repay it now.
@@JesusSavesTheDay96absolutely. It’s such a shame how some people take advantage of naïve children. It’s gross and cowardly
She probably didn’t make him put the money back and she probably also didn’t move the money .
only a matter of time until he "borrows" the other $20k
she needs to transfer the remainder into her own account. she can do that bit without fuss.
@@jlebrech I doubt she will. She sounded like she is made out of delicate glass for lack of a better term.
@@Ryan_DeWitt protecting the remaining money just requires a click of a button, asking for money back is what requires courage
@@jlebrech True, but it sounds like she doesn't want to make her father upset even in the slightest no matter how bad he treats her. She is living in denial.
She said he did. It. Once b4 and gave her back , is she. Doesnt need the money now, its not a big. Problem as long as hes giving her. Back
Sadly, he knows that she's a "softy" and the money is already spent. She definitely needs to move the remaining money and never have joint accounts with him anymore.
Sad how parents can do you sooo dirty .
oh you know this woman and her father to make these statements? funny how people write as if they are writing facts lol
I was so angry when my dad stole $500. Closed the account and never gave him access to anything ever again. I can't imagine how I would feel in her situation.
Yep, why would a parent need access. It's only to take the money
@@jlebrech well it can be a good thing if you don't have control of your own spending and getting your parents to set a spending limit might be handy.
@@Fayknol not when youre an adult. There are money managing tools.
I was mad when a family member used my CC on my Amazon account! Lol I cant even imagine what she feela
@@Fayknol yeah no my mum had access when I was under 18 (she had to legally in my area). She only would ever glance at the bank statement and would probably only talk to me if I was spending a lot. She wouldn’t put limits or try to control my spending because when you are under 18 that’s the time to learn and be hurt by your choices (when it’s small money). Now I’m not saying my mum was perfect she’d definitely ask for a loan but she’d never just take money out of my account even though she could. And when I became an adult one of the first things she said was “get my name off your bank account!”
He’s going to guilt trip this poor girl into tears.
I was thinking the same thing
Her dad was totally out of line. If your company needs your kids money to survive, it doesn't deserve the right to exist.
AMEN 👏👏👏
What u think every business owner are elon musk or jeff benzo?
Sometimes u need the cash for a while it is
As long as he gives her back i dont see any problem, dave is stupid, and the girl is over reacting
Not like she needs the money now
@@johndone8045 hey john i need some cash to help my business, can i borrow $20k from you?
i'll give it back
@@johndone8045 The father is a scumbag. He stole the money because he's took the money without asking her first. He has no respect for his daughter because he would have asked her prior to taking it out. If you think that kind of behavior is okay, please don't have children because you really don't respect other people.
@@johndone8045 then you ask for a loan. You don’t take money that isn’t yours because the other doesn’t need it anyway. That is called theft. It is wrong. To steal front your children is even more vile.
He knows she has no backbone, surely trained that way. I hope she has the sense to not end up with someone just like him.
It maybe that or it maybe desperation on his part as well but he needs to stop.
She's raised in that environment of poor boundaries I would be surprised if she's got the skills to set boundaries.
I bet its always a man's fault with you. Im sure youre always the victim too.
🤣🤣 she Won’t do what Dave told her to do it . She will just let it slide .
@@mgrsdgfsdafsdgrsdgfsdg6980 She was literally robbed...I don't understand where your coming from.
The 3 worst things you can do to your own family.
#1 lying to the point it hurts them
#2 stealing from them
#3 not being transparent
I'll go a step further and say to anyone. This should never be in our arsenal
Yes,
As soon as I turned 18, I opened my own account...Just because people are family, it doesn't mean they won't steal from you. In fact, family members are more likely to feel entitled to your money.
I love the Dave and Anthony combo, with these two together you are gonna get straight up advice no bull no sugar coat just BLAM in your face!
Haha yes
She said the money was gifted, not inherited. Stephanie should tell grandpa what happened with his gift money and let family h*ll break loose.
Good point, grandfather could be alive and kicking, or at least ready to kick Dad's butt.
I hate when people let others take advantage of them. Mom, dad or whoever you steal 20k from me there will be consequences. It’s not ok.
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
If he returns its not steal
@@johndone8045 its still stealing
@@johndone8045 if I go to your house today and take $100 from your wallet but I pay it back you know whenever I can is that theft? I’m sure you would call the cops. If he didn’t have permission than it is theft period !
She’s a coward
Dave should have asked her if she truly has the strength to do this.
She doesnt have the strength
My ex wife cleared our sons savings without me knowing (he is only a small child). I created my own savings for him after that. I don't know how parents do that to their kids.
It's not hard for us to figure out why she's your ex wife.
I don’t get it either. I’m custodian on the savings accounts for both my kids because the bank legally requires it. Those accounts belong to them; that money is not mine, therefore, I don’t touch it. I put money in, but could never withdraw a single penny from them. How can people drain that money and not feel guilty about it?
@@TheDecoCottage I have no idea. Most of the money was gifted by other people aswell.
I will die happily when Dave responds that he is going as good as he deserves
😂😂😂😂😂😂
There is one time he said good instead of "better than I deserve"
Stephanie, I hope and pray you read this. I'm also 23 and grew up with a dad like this. Please stand up for yourself! Parents like that will continue to take advantage. They may be good parents but once we are adults, they NEED to respect us as ADULTS.
I'm praying you will get the rest of the money back, but even more so that you will talk to him TODAY. You got this girl! I know it's so hard, I'VE BEEN THERE for about a year, sticking up for myself with my dad. It may take time but your dad will learn that you are no longer a child. It gets better! 💕
You have to love them enough to not let them get away with it. That would be enabling them in their abusive understanding of relationship.
The issue is its a joint account so legally she just lost 20k.
Yes, and if her dad listens to the radio, she might be out of the other 20 by now.
@@coniccinoc the way it looks her dad doesn’t follow or listen to Dave Ramsey
Haha 😆
We're not talking about legality here. From a moral perspective it's wrong to take what doesn't belong to you.
And that’s why you should be able to open an account BEFORE 18 and not deal with this immediately after you graduate from high school.
I just don’t understand how parents can feel so okay straight up taking money from their kid’s, we need to do better for our kids future, not steal from it!!
Agreed. I’m custodian on the savings accounts I opened for my children (the accounts belong to them, they are in their names, but because they are under 18 I have to manage it for them). Money goes in, but I wouldn’t think of ever withdrawing anything out. That money belongs to them and it’s my responsibility to protect it for them until they’re financially literate and responsible enough to manage it for themselves.
@@TheDecoCottage And that’s exactly what my parents did for my sister and I too which is super awesome! I think it’s super reasonable to wait until they’re older to give them full control of it, especially if you give them the “be smart with money” talk!
Thank you Dave and Anthony for validating her and guiding her into respectfully telling her that her father did WRONG.
Wow, anthony's face... True feeling
my mother did the same to me but i only had 700 bucks in there, i was 16, it was my first job, it devastated me, she never asked, just took the money
Don't need to take anyone off the account. Just open a new account and shift the funds there. This way account is not known to anyone.
Exactly
she cant take his name off without his signature!But she can PULL THE MONEY OUT AND PUT IT SOMEWHERE ELSE ...qUICK
Man...this just goes to show how getting out of our comfort zone helps us grow as people. Standing up to your dad?! Like woah..I’m Latino and that’s one HARD thing to do right there. I wonder if she ended up going through with it...ugh. You know he’s gonna say “what do you need it for? I need it. I’ll pay you back, idk what the big deal is you weren’t using it”
Sponge Bob SO True. I wouldn’t give her a hard time about that though just because at her age, I didn’t even know what that meant lol
You have to be more careful around family than strangers, WHY?
Because sometimes they feel like they can take advantage of you ❤️❤️
Exactly. Sometimes parents are the worst. They feel like because they raised you you're supposed to pay you back. You chose to have a kid, whether expected or unexpected. They owe you nothing.
Family and money don’t mix well.
It does in functional families
Nooo they don’t
They never do
My mother has been on one of my accounts for almost 25 years. She know if the needs anything she can access my account. If it gets low she just has to tell me and I’ll put more money in it.
I don't think it has anything to do with family. A person who steals will steal. I've had several businesses and business dealings with my family. The ones I had trouble with were the ones who are not trustworthy. Everybody else was good and did what they said they would do.
Especially if you intend to keep business in your family, you're gonna have to mix money with family.
He's a write off, and I'm not talking taxes
Unacceptable. My father did this to pay my sisters down payment with money that was mine.
That is even worst I am sorry that happened to you
Bruhhh that would not stand with me. 911 on speed dial. My fam would never do this I know that for sure cuz I would never let that happen.
My parents did this to me when I was ten years old. It wasn't thousands of dollars, but they took all my paper route money, spent it on cigarettes and trips to the corner store. When it was time to take the money on an overnight trip with friends I was saving for, they framed it that I was the bad guy for thinking they would let me spend it on the trip
Mine did the same thing. 45years later, I will retire before they do.
Wow, I really feel for her. Money and family is one of the really tough things in life.
Family always takes advantage of family!
emotionally and financially 😔
"Always". No.
Not always!
Maybe not always... but it seems more times than not.
It just may have not happened to you all yet.....give it some time.
Its so sad to hear these stories. A personal account down the road that he doesn't have access to will prevent future theft, but certainly won't repair the trust or guarantee her money returned.
Dave, thank you so much for telling this young woman that she is not crazy. People in toxic relationships face a lot of gaslighting, from the toxic people and even from themselves. It's so helpful and healing when a neutral third party can affirm her feelings are real and justified. Her dad is a thief, and that is a bitter pill to swallow.
my dad took 2000$ from me and never gave it back.. it still hurts because that time i was in 10000$ debt
I remember when my father “borrowed”15-20k over the course of a year. Nobody told me he was on drugs and everyone kept me in the dark...
As soon as I went independent (got a job and moved out) I made my own accounts, only thing I share with my parents is the Netflix account. My parents will never do what the father's caller did but sometimes parents look at you like a kid and they will probably take money out as if it was theirs without bad intentions, so best is to prevent that from happening
Tough spot. Taking advantage of his daughter like that breaks my heart
I remember my dad had two savings accounts for my sister and I and he was contributing to them automatically a little bit at a time. I think it was maybe $25 every check for a couple of years. Anyways my mom found out about it and cleared them out and they had thousands of dollars in them. I remember this happening as a kid and just feeling sad. My dad did go behind my moms back to do it, but i think he knew she wouldn't allow something like that to happen even though its his money. There are a lot of people that weren't meant to have kids imo. You should just want to support your kids.
Dave has had a couple of calls were the parents steal from the kids - It would be nice to get a follow up.
They gave great advice. Parent's love to play this guilt trip of " I've raised you". Ok, you've raised me that's your job as a parent. That doesn't give you the right to steal money from me.
Yeah don't "plan to" do something that can and needs to be done right now... your family can be a big threat to your wealth if you let them be so
Hey! I loved your millennial money!
@@ianp7383 thank you!!
It's crazy how common this is. Some people SHOULD NOT have children!! Speaking from experience. Cut him off like cancer.
I felt the pain that this woman must be feeling. So sorry this has happened. I hope that your path forward is healthy and happy.
God bless this young lady, I can hear the heartbeat in her voice throughout the call
"I plan to" lol girl do it now! What she waiting for?
I want to know how the conversation went with her and her father. I wish we could have an update
I think we can guess how it went. The father thinks of this account as his "back-up" emergency fund. He doesn't ask his daughter if he can use it. He notifies her afterward, not giving her a choice. In his head it's as much his as hers. He will be very angry.
@Smooth Sailing The only reason he was on the account to begin with was because she was under 18. She should have taken him off the account at that age. The money was clearly earmarked for her education. The fact that she didn't remove his name cost her 20K and him, the trust of his daughter. Very sad.
@Smooth Sailing It was a present from her grandpa for her education. The dad was there because of regulation, not moral fiber or family worthiness.
I guess pops was saying "all the years I spent on her"
You wrong pops
Show your dad this clip if you can’t confront him.
It's sad that these kind of things happen. In the end, boundaries are healthy for all relationships, even with your family.
That’s beyond sad, he should feel a shame!!
Those type of people feel no shame......
My dad took $8,000 from my account one day randomly, I was beyond angry and it took him close to a year and a half to pay it back...I feel her pain on this call.
The week before my 18th birthday my mother took the equity out of the life insurance policy I had since birth and stuck me with a 10,000 dollar debt. When I turned 18 it was my problem. Thanks Ma!
dont pay it. you forfeit the policy but arent stuck with debt.
@@superwhitt21 Yup. Already done. Thanks.
With smh
The advice was perfect on this one.
Someone should make a compilation of every time Dave has been so mean and harsh “I want you to shame him” hahaha
Identify toxic people in your life and then create distance from them.
Stephanie your dad is a thief. Taking money without asking is called stealing not borrowing. Like Dave said, take your dad off your bank account.
I'm so glad I have a mother that would never even think of doing something like this.
Such good advice. Whether Dad follows through or not, the advice was perfect.
I've never related to anything more in my life. Same thing happened to me but with less money. :(
Parents are sooooo ENTITLED.
My mom took $20 from me. Doesn't sound like much, but it was money I worked for, and back then, it took me 4 hours at my fast food job to earn that money, and I was in debt over $5,000.
Switch the rest of the money into an account of your own first, IN A DIFFERENT BANK!!! Check your credit as well to make sure he didn’t take any loans.
Wow so sad... I could never do this with my kids. I make a good living, but my kids are doing better than me at the same point in our lives. If my little ones end up multi millionaire I will be happy for them and keep working for my retirement.
Love the Daves offsiders comment when he said "he didn't worry about you when he took the money" So true . And Dave is fabulous as well of course . Love him .
My grandma did that to me. She raised me, and I was depositing money in my account since I was 13. She never deposited any. By the time I turned 18 I would have had 10k. I go and it was all gone. I closed the account, took the 40 bucks left gave it to her and said "since you took most of it, decided you should finish it." My grandma said she didnt have money for bills but my uncle paid 90 percent of them and gave her 300 bucks a month to spend. Fortunately my uncle had gave me savings bonds, which he didnt put her name on, every year until I was 18 so I had to use that to help pay for some college expenses. 4 years later it ended up being me, my aunt and uncle takinf care of her until she died. And my aunt and uncle paying off any debt she owed.
There’s no chance she’s getting that money back.
He paid her back once so he probably will pay her the money but it should not be happening at all.
If he wants a loan from her he needs to ask her.
@@bighands69 he can ask but the answer must be an automatic no. If he can’t get a bank loan then his business is a failure and he’s a deadbeat.
@@HermannTheGreat geez can u imagine suing your own father? She mentioned He took care of her and did a lot for her..Money is not everything , FAMILY is.
Just as long the father pays back or she can tell the father not to do it anymore and transfer the money on her own name. That’s all. But suing your family specially if that’s the only thing they did is too much. It will ruin their relationship.
@@HermannTheGreat yes mysekl. But never in my life think to sue my parents because of money. In back of my mind without them and their help I wouldn’t be where I am now.
My parents actually manipulate and decided what course to take in college which i didn’t want at first.! I was mad. They will not pay my tuition if I will not take OT.
But thank goodness I followed their advise and now Im licensed occupational therapist. I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was younger.
I liked being therapist now.
I know the disappointment. My son stole 10k from me. I had cash saved up in an envelope for an emergency some day. 15 years of saving on my small cash jobs. Gone.
That's a tragedy, no money and you know your son's true nature. I'm sorry
We need a follow up on this one Dave! This just turns my stomach, defentily scare him into law enforcement (not a bluff) or else he will do you worse.
Grandpa gave her a special gift, dad steals it. Such a shame. I wonder where mom is.
The dads answer is going to be, but I needed it! I have been supporting you you owe me!
I'm so grateful I grew up with a father who would never have done this to me. He would bend over backwards to help me with any situation that needed a father's guidance. He didn't have much money, but he had a lot of love, wisdom and integrity.
The guy should put 20k in and not take 20k out. I guess parents nowadays are different.
My Dad would never do this he would like you say add money. My Mom, however, yikes.
Not all of us.
Thank you so much for this
EXCELLENT ADVICE !!!
I parent who steals from their children are a special kind of evil.
Great content Dave, keep it up!!
My mom did exactly the same to me (8 grand). I took her name off the account. Never saw the money again though. Never trusted her with money ever again (I was 22)
$20 000!? And it was for college... WOW
It was probably loan money. She has yet to feel the burden of having to pay it pack. She’s not as angry, as it feels just like paper to her at the moment without value since it may not have been earned, but rather loaned. When the time comes to pay it back she will understand what happened. That’s what I can gather from her voice. It has to be a loan.
Btw, to you a pretty, r u single?
It wasn't a loan, it was a gift from her grandfather.
@@maddawgzzzz Listen carefully. She got a full scholarship for college. Didn’t need the 40,000 given by grandfather.
@@RevMarket There ya go. Wasn't money she earned. Does not feel real to her yet.
Similar thing happened in our family too. When our grandma passed away, we (grand kids) got some money from the house as inheritance. Because we live permanently out of country our mom helped to handle the transactions and stored the money on investment account. I got my portion our soon after as a house down payment, so it was transferred to other country. My brother however, younger by 5 years from me, is not in very good relationship with mom and mom "borrowed" the money for her new apartment, but I have no knowledge it was repaid back yet. its a year later.
I was gifted from all my fellow citizens the ability to go to college without costing me a dime. Can only imagine the suffering that takes place in third world USA.
@@HermannTheGreat it is! :-D I earn a good salary so pay a lot in taxes, which helps ensure all my fellow citizens get a quality education without them having to worry about costs :-) and what military protection do you mean? I only know about you guys starting endless wars and destabilizing the Middle East.
That really sucks. Caller - PLEASE listen and move the money out of the account right now if you haven't yet. He doesn't need to share access with it anymore because you are an adult and he is clearly thinking it's just "extra" money sitting around that he can use. Some people just don't see clearly when there's money involved.
I'll never understand why some parents are this way. My birth mother was this way. I could NEVER do that to my children
Entitled
My step dad did the same when I was 20, I never I got my 17k back and he broke up with my mom. I never got any of it back. Only difference is it was money I had raised for my college working years of odd jobs.
Worst is my mom knew, and she got back with him and he broke up with her again and I never got my money back. Broke my heart and trust.
Wow that’s awful
My Dad scammed me out of 50k, that Id earned, so I cant afford to buy my own home and have to live in a bedsit he owns (after he realised he cant rent out because he converted what wouldve been a nice apartment into bedsits, illegally, against our advice) and so he can continue to control me. Im supposed to shut up about what he stole or IM causing trouble. Threat of being thrown out looms and Im ok with that because ill be free of them. Dysfunctional, toxic family. Hes a narcissist/psychopath and pathological liar. Its hard to accept he did that to me, that my Mother believes him because it makes her life easier, and that ill never get it back.
Wow, this is EXCATLY what is happening to me
And i thought my dad stealing 6k was bad.
Well Done Dave.
the problem is he needs to not have access to the account
Girl... Get an attorney asap! Take his name off YOUR account TODAY!!!
Stop being afraid of your dad. He IS a thief!
She needs to open her own account. She cannot remove his name from the current account because he is more than likely the guarantor of the account since she was minor when account was initially opened. Poor young lady..so sad her dad stole her money.
She needs to go to the bank and get him off the account as soon as possible. I am sorry that your dad violated his daughter the way he did.
So glad I had a trusting relationship with my daughter. I was POA on her account back when online banking wasn't a thing she would call and ask me to move money or take care of something (especially when she was out of the country). I never looked at the account unless she asked. I borrowed $1000 from her once. I had money but made the mistake of putting it in a CD. It was earning a lot and I would have lost a lot to cash it. We had a written contract for the 2months until the CD was due. Cashed it and paid her an extra $100. All you have to do is be honest and fair.
I can tell this will not go over well. She needs to move the money today asap to her own personal account.
Her father wouldn't be pulling this 💩 if her grandfather was alive
Call the police. File a report. Sue him and have his wages garnished
and try to have someone there with you for moral support when you make the call to dear old dad .
It doesn’t matter if it’s 20 dollars if they don’t tell you and act like it is not a big deal it will get worse
Exactly!!! It amazes me how people think those types will stop there. Completely false.
She also needs to change the passwords so in the event he tries to look at the account and sees the money is gone he really wont wanna give it then.
Another gross thing that's all too common is parents misusing THEIR CHILD'S NAME for their own debt activity!