Imagine a small bakery settled amongst offices and banks downtown through the door of the somewhat hidden bakery people of all walks of life laugh and socialize over handcrafted baked goods and warm lattes you're immediately directed where to order when you see the French antique style chandelier hanging in the center of the room after you order you learn that the chandelier doesn't imply prestige like you thought but actually represents the owners Mitch and christine's love story abroad miss then hands you your coffee with delights and you settle on a plate wooden table on the perimeter of the room behind the bar style counters see staff shift and turn as they prepare orders while simultaneously conversing with the regulars with a little bit of eavesdropping you'll learn that one of these regulars name is pat almost daily pat sits at this very counter and converses with staff and customers for hours the earth filled with such holiness and comfort you're drawn in deeply and you feel like you already can't wait to come back for most this scene only exists in a hallmark film but it's actually an average day at queen city bakery located here in Sioux Falls you see tucked in the corners of bustling suburbs and chaotic cities are small informal gathering places like queen city that many of us deem insignificant these places serve the grounds for association the formation of community and provide comfort for all these are third places defined as a separate social surroundings from one's usual 2 work home and for myself school cafes intramural sports leagues diners and moral common examples of third places and Roy oldenburg emphasizes how important they are in his book the great good place he says the 3rd place is what the home is not goldenberg provides a criteria that give a third place it's beauty the first being on neutral ground when the customer walks through the door their burden leaves their back they have trust amongst their fellow attendees and then nobody's playing host the second is a leveler people of all occupations status state are equally welcome to indulge in the 3rd place's comfort when talking to Mitch he said their mission was to curate a very specific community environment that is welcoming to all and I do assure you they carry out with that mission conversation is the main activity in the 3rd place now don't get me wrong christine's pastries especially the blueberry are divine however they're served as a side dish to the ideas stories and gossip being shared the 3rd place has accessibility and accommodation customers shouldn't have to be burdened by long travel odd hours or lack of habituation my personal favorite though is the regulars these people lay the foundation for informal communication and give personality to the space the 6th and 7th criteria a low profile and playful mood implied 2 main objectives whether you walk in the door in an orange construction vest or a Gray designer suit you are equal and with your invitation absolutely comes witty jokes that are probably going to sting a little bit however the most important aspect of a third place is that it is truly a home away from home at queen city there's a woman who gets tea in cycles she's homeless and she's transient she lives around Sioux Falls when and where she can but when she walks into queen city she is served like anyone else because the customers and staff take care of her because like her queen city is a very close rendition of home third places were much more common prior to Urban Development in World War 2 a 5 minute walk will land a young couple in a local pub playing cards with friends a movie theater without caring what movie was being played or a cafe discussing their thoughts with wise strangers Fast forward to the rise of suburban sprawl that yawns for miles a walk to the third place is almost impossible and very impractical as a result of this many of us don't know what a third place is let alone have one for ourselves but don't fret in the absence of a corner cafe a digital solution requires just one tap conversation comes in all forms pictures hashtags DM's and on top of that you can reach almost anybody in the world however instead of on neutral ground with leveled social dynamics this relatively new 3rd place is largely predatory and disingenuous it's either easier to share photos and ideas but they're all expected to be blurred and cropped to fit trends and success our voices products broadcasted further but we'll find that we're speaking to those who are already like us rather than coming to common ground with someone who might challenge us to see things differently whether we want to admit it or not social media has become our third place yet the problem is that social media is nothing but an imitation you can't feel the warmth of morphemes and body language and comment sections or DM's third places give us this warmth and provide us with the love of association that draws us back time and time again to the place where we want to feel it most social media does not I'm not asking you to live in the woods or implying that you live in a completely technological society with flying cars and robot toilets that say Congrats when you flush I'm asking you to live in the nuance of these two scenarios if you find that your happiness productivity and attention are being affected by a social media do something about it psychologists have studied the science behind motivation for years and to this day they haven't found a divine process that makes someone motivated motivation simply comes from starting I found myself in this position unmotivated unhappy that my To Do List is always long and my contentment was short now my life is busy busy busy I go from school to practice the clubs to meetings to work to homework and then I wake up way too early into the game I don't want to change that for the world though but I found that I was going to social media for a false sense of social life because I was too tired to do it in person turns out isolating myself doesn't make my problems disappear they just make them worse so I stopped going to Snapchat for my face to face communication and I started doing Sunday game nights with my friends I stopped posting on mass private stories to include strangers into my life and I shut my light count off on Instagram and a lot of myself listened to this to post to share rather than post to show however the hardest part was deleting TikTok I learned two things from this Instagram rails aren't as good and the only thing I was missing was the rapid emergence of new trends that were going to be gone in a month my time was now in my own hands now trust me I go on social media every day but I don't depend on it as my main source of entertainment an association I now have the need desire and energy to immerse myself in my free time with my peers and search for a third place adults and parents you may not know any of the terms I just referred to or even have a presence on these apps but self reflect on your social life what is one thing that you do for yourself amongst all of the chaos Fred Reiner is a regular at queen city bakery he said when you walk into the door the feeling is that you are an individual entity and not a part of the masses McIntyre said that her church was her third place she said I feel unburdened and connected my dad Travis spear isn't home on Wednesday nights because he's at his third place a bowling league that he's been in for as long as I can remember and trust me based on their scores conversation is definitely the main activity my point is that all of these adults take small increments of their lives to fulfill their need for association do you have a place where you feel like like Fred said and welcome like Fred like Betsy said and welcome like Fred said and it doesn't distract you it fills your soul what is your third place stop worrying about emails and Facebook updates and ask yourself are you letting social media affect the person you want to be in the example you want to set for your children now kids you're not off the hook are you letting social media affect your relationships in the same way we all joke about iPad kids with sticky fingers and intricate Minecraft worlds but genuinely what do you want communication to look like as you age what memories would you rather tell your children that one time you made a funny joke in the group chat or when your friend group laughed so hard Megan Peter pants and had to go home I don't my answer one of the first questions I was asked when I presented my idea was who cares and the first thing I thought of was myself when I become a parent I don't want my children to isolate themselves because that's all they know how to do I want to be a Subaru mom that should be sponsored by Patagonia and Costco and has more plans on her desk than Wi-Fi bars at the top of her screen I want to have contact with the people in my life that I appreciate and I want them to know how much it means to me I want my kids to be grateful for the wonders this world giving us an exercise their curiosity I mean I want my kids to love nature so much they go outside eat a worm come back and say mommy look I brought one for you too I want my kids to feel the feelings of excitement and communication without technology we're all known author Mel Robbins said in an interview your life comes down to your decisions and when you change your decisions you change everything so all you have to do is decide and reflect on the beauty that comes of it reflect on the beauty of a third place
Awesome job, Sophie! You look radiant and sound wonderful! Glad that you and your generation are starting to figure out the power of IRL.
so good and informative!! thanks!
Very good information.
Anyway I can get a full transcript of this speech?
I did one! if you have the app word your can dictate the whole speech:) you'll have to put dots in yourself though
Imagine a small bakery settled amongst offices and banks downtown through the door of the somewhat hidden bakery people of all walks of life laugh and socialize over handcrafted baked goods and warm lattes you're immediately directed where to order when you see the French antique style chandelier hanging in the center of the room after you order you learn that the chandelier doesn't imply prestige like you thought but actually represents the owners Mitch and christine's love story abroad miss then hands you your coffee with delights and you settle on a plate wooden table on the perimeter of the room behind the bar style counters see staff shift and turn as they prepare orders while simultaneously conversing with the regulars with a little bit of eavesdropping you'll learn that one of these regulars name is pat almost daily pat sits at this very counter and converses with staff and customers for hours the earth filled with such holiness and comfort you're drawn in deeply and you feel like you already can't wait to come back for most this scene only exists in a hallmark film but it's actually an average day at queen city bakery located here in Sioux Falls you see tucked in the corners of bustling suburbs and chaotic cities are small informal gathering places like queen city that many of us deem insignificant these places serve the grounds for association the formation of community and provide comfort for all these are third places defined as a separate social surroundings from one's usual 2 work home and for myself school cafes intramural sports leagues diners and moral common examples of third places and Roy oldenburg emphasizes how important they are in his book the great good place he says the 3rd place is what the home is not goldenberg provides a criteria that give a third place it's beauty the first being on neutral ground when the customer walks through the door their burden leaves their back they have trust amongst their fellow attendees and then nobody's playing host the second is a leveler people of all occupations status state are equally welcome to indulge in the 3rd place's comfort when talking to Mitch he said their mission was to curate a very specific community environment that is welcoming to all and I do assure you they carry out with that mission conversation is the main activity in the 3rd place now don't get me wrong christine's pastries especially the blueberry are divine however they're served as a side dish to the ideas stories and gossip being shared the 3rd place has accessibility and accommodation customers shouldn't have to be burdened by long travel odd hours or lack of habituation my personal favorite though is the regulars these people lay the foundation for informal communication and give personality to the space the 6th and 7th criteria a low profile and playful mood implied 2 main objectives whether you walk in the door in an orange construction vest or a Gray designer suit you are equal and with your invitation absolutely comes witty jokes that are probably going to sting a little bit however the most important aspect of a third place is that it is truly a home away from home at queen city there's a woman who gets tea in cycles she's homeless and she's transient she lives around Sioux Falls when and where she can but when she walks into queen city she is served like anyone else because the customers and staff take care of her because like her queen city is a very close rendition of home third places were much more common prior to Urban Development in World War 2 a 5 minute walk will land a young couple in a local pub playing cards with friends a movie theater without caring what movie was being played or a cafe discussing their thoughts with wise strangers Fast forward to the rise of suburban sprawl that yawns for miles a walk to the third place is almost impossible and very impractical as a result of this many of us don't know what a third place is let alone have one for ourselves but don't fret in the absence of a corner cafe a digital solution requires just one tap conversation comes in all forms pictures hashtags DM's and on top of that you can reach almost anybody in the world however instead of on neutral ground with leveled social dynamics this relatively new 3rd place is largely predatory and disingenuous it's either easier to share photos and ideas but they're all expected to be blurred and cropped to fit trends and success our voices products broadcasted further but we'll find that we're speaking to those who are already like us rather than coming to common ground with someone who might challenge us to see things differently whether we want to admit it or not social media has become our third place yet the problem is that social media is nothing but an imitation you can't feel the warmth of morphemes and body language and comment sections or DM's third places give us this warmth and provide us with the love of association that draws us back time and time again to the place where we want to feel it most social media does not I'm not asking you to live in the woods or implying that you live in a completely technological society with flying cars and robot toilets that say Congrats when you flush I'm asking you to live in the nuance of these two scenarios if you find that your happiness productivity and attention are being affected by a social media do something about it psychologists have studied the science behind motivation for years and to this day they haven't found a divine process that makes someone motivated motivation simply comes from starting I found myself in this position unmotivated unhappy that my To Do List is always long and my contentment was short now my life is busy busy busy I go from school to practice the clubs to meetings to work to homework and then I wake up way too early into the game I don't want to change that for the world though but I found that I was going to social media for a false sense of social life because I was too tired to do it in person turns out isolating myself doesn't make my problems disappear they just make them worse so I stopped going to Snapchat for my face to face communication and I started doing Sunday game nights with my friends I stopped posting on mass private stories to include strangers into my life and I shut my light count off on Instagram and a lot of myself listened to this to post to share rather than post to show however the hardest part was deleting TikTok I learned two things from this Instagram rails aren't as good and the only thing I was missing was the rapid emergence of new trends that were going to be gone in a month my time was now in my own hands now trust me I go on social media every day but I don't depend on it as my main source of entertainment an association I now have the need desire and energy to immerse myself in my free time with my peers and search for a third place adults and parents you may not know any of the terms I just referred to or even have a presence on these apps but self reflect on your social life what is one thing that you do for yourself amongst all of the chaos Fred Reiner is a regular at queen city bakery he said when you walk into the door the feeling is that you are an individual entity and not a part of the masses McIntyre said that her church was her third place she said I feel unburdened and connected my dad Travis spear isn't home on Wednesday nights because he's at his third place a bowling league that he's been in for as long as I can remember and trust me based on their scores conversation is definitely the main activity my point is that all of these adults take small increments of their lives to fulfill their need for association do you have a place where you feel like like Fred said and welcome like Fred like Betsy said and welcome like Fred said and it doesn't distract you it fills your soul what is your third place stop worrying about emails and Facebook updates and ask yourself are you letting social media affect the person you want to be in the example you want to set for your children now kids you're not off the hook are you letting social media affect your relationships in the same way we all joke about iPad kids with sticky fingers and intricate Minecraft worlds but genuinely what do you want communication to look like as you age what memories would you rather tell your children that one time you made a funny joke in the group chat or when your friend group laughed so hard Megan Peter pants and had to go home I don't my answer one of the first questions I was asked when I presented my idea was who cares and the first thing I thought of was myself when I become a parent I don't want my children to isolate themselves because that's all they know how to do I want to be a Subaru mom that should be sponsored by Patagonia and Costco and has more plans on her desk than Wi-Fi bars at the top of her screen I want to have contact with the people in my life that I appreciate and I want them to know how much it means to me I want my kids to be grateful for the wonders this world giving us an exercise their curiosity I mean I want my kids to love nature so much they go outside eat a worm come back and say mommy look I brought one for you too I want my kids to feel the feelings of excitement and communication without technology we're all known author Mel Robbins said in an interview your life comes down to your decisions and when you change your decisions you change everything so all you have to do is decide and reflect on the beauty that comes of it reflect on the beauty of a third place
some words are wrong though but here it is!