How much should parents be involved with college students? | IIT prof's request to parents
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- Опубликовано: 6 июл 2024
- Should parents be completely involved with their children once they are in college? Or, should they leave them to grow up completely independently?
These questions are especially important as students across the country are preparing to leave for their first year in college.
In this video, I discuss these important questions. And make an appeal to the parents.
These have long-term consequences for the student's immediate and long-term career and progress.
The points I put forward are based on what I had seen myself when I was an undergraduate student at IIT Kharagpur and also as a faculty members over the past few years at IIT Kharagpur.
My hope is that this video will be found useful not only by the first year students and their parents but also by those in second year, third year, and beyond.
This video is part of a RUclips playlist where I give various general advice to students at different levels (Bachelor, Master, PhD):
• Advice to students
Video by: Dr Jeevanjyoti Chakraborty, Mechanical Engineering Department, IIT Kharagpur
Fill this form if you wish to post a question to me for a deeper discussion: forms.gle/M3ksxwjJHSB9zB4D7
Interesting questions, comments from the above form may be featured in future RUclips videos.
Website: www.facweb.iitkgp.ac.in/~jeeva...
GitHub: github.com/jeevanjyoti4
Twitter: / jeevanjyoti
Blog: jchakraborty.wordpress.com/
Disclaimer: I am a faculty member in the Mechanical Engineering Department of IIT Kharagpur. However, the views expressed in this video are my own and do not necessarily represent those of my Department or my Institute.
#jc #josaa2022 #IIT
Fill this form if you wish to post a question to me for a deeper discussion: forms.gle/M3ksxwjJHSB9zB4D7
Interesting questions, comments from the above form may be featured in future RUclips videos.
I have immense respect for professors like you who help the students and even their parents with the whole college experience. Thank you sir.
As a student..
I naturally have the feeling that if i can hadle the situation or make a decision
But when i can't my parents are always there to listen to me and guide me....
That's a great attitude to have! All the best.
This is such an important message. Extremely well put! I genuinely hope that this gets the visibility it deserves. I think this video in itself will be a great medium to start a conversation between students and their parents to align on expectations. More than often times students find it hard to communicate with their parents due to various scenarios. But it becomes easier for them to start a communication when it comes directly from the educator. There is an unspoken trust on a teacher from the parents side and your guidance really helps to open a discussion.
I hope many parents, students and all the hard working educators get to see this. May all the other educators also be inspired to spread this message and give parents and students the energy and confidence they need to grow in life.
Thank you for taking the time to spread this message, I always will look out for more tips from you that I can share to my peers, friends, relatives and acquaintances :)
Thank you for the kind words and for such a wholesome message. You have pointed out something extremely important that this video may be used as a starting point for a discussion between the students and their parents.
After a long time I saw a real teacher . My pranam.
prof Jc is really a guiding light to we engineering students'
Thank you for the kind words!
Wow sir very nice advice with detailed advice
Thank you so much, Professor, for your valuable suggestions
You have very beautifully put across a point which is rarely discussed i.e. maintaining a balance in parenting especially when the children are transforming to adults. You also very rightly pointed out the cases where the parents try to live their dreams through their children.
Thank you for the kind words. Hope your research work is going great.
Thank you for asking. I am enjoying my journey into research
Such an important message. Thank you Prof. My son is also going to study in IIT Bhubaneswar this year. Your message has re-triggered the role and responsibilities of us as a parent.
Thank you. All the best to your son!
Thanku so much for giving us right direction.
Thank you Sir. Very much needed advice...
Hat's off to you sir you are a real mentor how meticulously you sorted out the situation
Thank u sir. I personally feel that most of the parents are facing same. Because children are showing that we r very sincere about my study. No time to talk. Yes they are. but should not forget that parents are anxious or having concern about you. What students are thinking that ok now have fun no one here to restrict me. But being parents should talk every day and asked about everything.
Sir, it is high time that IITs need to reinvent themselves. The concept of campus placement has led them to become a mere placement agency. How can it be acceptable that except four to five percent of students, almost all are seeking jobs in sectors like IT, finance, consulting etc.These kind of jobs require skills which can be easily learnt in maximum six months by own means.
Even the utility of JEE Advanced needs to be rethinked. Giving students to admission in courses like computer science, artificial intelligence, mathematics and computing, data science and even economics on the basis of a test of PCM is a completely illogical move.This exam is only serving the purpose of coaching institutions.
Please imagine the plight of a student who is undergoing coaching from class 9 studying calculus, probability, thermodynamics, modern physics, optics, organic and inorganic chemistry in order to clear JEE.Then, he got admitted to engineering physics department. And the real tragedy starts here. The moment he hears the word 'placement', he starts learning coding from youtube to bag a job offer at an MNC. And the irony is that, an IT company will only shortlist his resume if he is able to score a certain threshold cgpa in his engineering physics department.
We don't have the infrastructure and planning to give aspirants admission via some other way
@@devansingh7414Whatever be the reason, it is ruining the future of a large number of students. Spending lakhs of money on coaching classes studying the structure of an atom and then paying 10 lakhs as fees to an IIT studying textile engineering only to get a job via RUclips lecture in a bank or an e commerce startup is something that require our urgent attention.
Bro many students go for PhD , masters aboard
@@messpice They are hardly two to three percent. Even among them, a significant fraction go abroad to pursue MBA.
@@aamaadmi5089 Yess.
I totally agree with you..We need to change things up, Lekin hmari govt ko time to mile hindu muslim se to ye kre
hats off to u sir
Golden words.🙏🙏
Thank you!
First one to like the vedio 💖💖
very good msg 👍
Sir, really it is very good message 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you.
Im joining IIT Guwahati this year in the dept of biosciences and bioengineering and i feel sometimes my parents are case 1 and sometimes case 2 :')
Congratulations and all the best!
You should take other branches in other iit.
What are your opinion on living far from home, I think I don't mind as long as I get to pursue my own career choice compared to doing a diff degree near home which I very much dislike
👍✋
There are two types of intelligence - emotional intelligence (viewers- google this if you don't know) and academic intelligence (e.g., cracking JEE or GATE, graduating with an engineering degree etc.). Very few people in this world have both in ample measure. Blessed are the ones that have both in good measure. Many with superior academic intelligence (e.g., toppers of tough competitive exams) rarely have sufficient emotional intelligence and therefore are generally unsuccessful or even if professionally successful, are unhappy in life. A leading study showed that emotional intelligence is relatively more important for success and happiness in life than academic intelligence. In your case Professor Chakraborty, from seeing a lot of your videos, I have formed an opinion that you have both in equal measure. Your students and advice seekers in contact with you are indeed lucky as they will receive the best advice I feel. And needless to add, you are both, successful and look happy :)-
Many thanks for the kind words. I do try but I have a long way to go before I can say I have developed emotional intelligence sufficiently enough.
A very important topic discussed by prof. JC, but the problem is that my parents don't know English(just like many other middle class families in North India) at all and if I stand in front them trying to explain (translate) things from this video they will think that I am giving advice to them.
So please try to upload a Hindi version of this video.
Thank you
Sorry, I missed replying to this comment earlier. This is actually a very good suggestion. And, I had personally thought about this issue myself. But, I am not at all confident speaking in Hindi publicly! I have no problem speaking in Hindi informally with my students here at IIT Kharagpur, and I actually do that regularly. But, making a recorded video in Hindi seems very daunting. Probably, I will have to take help from someone if I attempt it.
Sir good evening your videos are amazing I am very much happy to watch your videos particularly in this video the word CRY has got me. again and again I am watching and listening the word cry, moreover well I am observing your face your lips... what I am observing is the agony to deliver the words. thank you thank you so much sir now I am thinking searching finding the situations which made my boy to cry. I don't want my boy to cry because of lack of support from me. but sir I tried and I am trying but most of the times I failed I am requesting you with my whole heart or even begging you to concentrate in this particular point, it will be very helpful to the needy parents like me. sorry sir I am not comfortable in English but tried to present my feelings please accept. once again thank you so much sir.
Thank you for your heartfelt message. I believe each student's and family's case is unique. So, the best thing would be somehow to try to talk to your son and just find even one point on which he can open up his heart to you. That can be a conversation starter and act like a bridge for you to understand the situation better. I hope this message will be of some help to you.
@@Prof_JC sir thank you very much for your guidance. With the help of your previous message I started to listen with my heart, and surprisingly my son getting close to me. I'm very much happy, and conveying my heartfelt thanks to you sir.
Please do remember the parents like me, and continue your support.
Thank you sir.
@@pushparajumarimpudi7025 Thank you for your message. It is really heart-warming. I wish you continued success in your interactions with your son. All the best!
Sir is it possible to upgrade branch from biosciences and bioengineering to chemical engineering at IIT Guwahati
Sir could u please make qualifications which determine ur college application?
Like do marks matter or what do they use to determine your eligibility?
its iit kgp noone can just go there and ask for admission. you have to clear jee advanced
Sir, I am a student myself . My parents can't understand English properly but now i know how much I should get them involved...my case is 1st one i have parents too much involved and I am a day scholar so it's hard to reduce their involvement. Please give any advice
Thank you
Hello sir ,
Can u suggest what are the specifications should there in the laptop for engineering students
Plz
I really love for study and research..please reply
sir ji
me aaj erp sign up kr rha tha pr jee adv reg no glt bta rha h ?
I am coming to IIT Kharagpur this year
I am very excited to meet you ❣️or even just see you live
If possible
Same bro i am also going IIT kgp this yr
@@subhroHalder427 let's meet on 3rd November
@@nikhil8881 yes 👍🏻
@Nikhil and @Subhro Halder, Congratulations to both of you, and welcome to the Institute. @Nikhil, you may meet any prof of any department! And, as for me specifically, it will be great to meet all of you who have been seeing my videos here on RUclips AND joining IIT KGP!
@@Prof_JC thank you so much sir 🎐
sir can u please please make a video
for parents letting their children follow their interests
and give them the freedom to choose colleg
I am getting DTU EE and BITS pilani dual degree
but my parents are forcing me to join DTU EE
please sir it's a request
Sir I am afraid of my health since I am away from my parents.
Since maintaning good health is easy when we are with our parents as they can take care of us based on their experience and knowledge.
Maintaining good health is a top priority of every student!
Would it be possible for you to create a playlist containing a brief overview of each course in all the 4 years of Mechanical Engineering and how to go about it.
This will also be helpful for those who want to decide if they want to take Mechanical branch in next year JOSAA because I did face the same issue of not knowing what exactly would be done in those 4 years in the particular branch.
Google search is very confusing in this because each course is a large branch in itself.
Sorry for missing this comment earlier. It is a great idea. I will seriously think about it. Thank you.
Sir i have been allotted iit bhu mechanical engineering, there are chances that i can get ece at iit ism dhanbad in final round allocation, what should I go for.
Sir joining IIT KGP Civil department this year. I hope my parents are in between case 1 and 2 lol
Congratulations and welcome to the institute. I hope your interactions with your parents remain very pleasant. You may show them this video.
I AM ALSO GOING OUTSIDE FOR THE FIRST TIME TO STUDY BUT I AM FEELING EXCITED.
Same feeling
But i think we will feel sad during college time
@@harsh90731 why bro, why will you feel sad?
Even I felt the same at the very beginning but as the days pass and as the college joining date comes close I feel wierd nervous. May be because I am an introvert, lol. All the best to everyone.
There is a huge upsurge in negative comments about IITs and it's system. I understand it's because some of them could not crack it. I also understand the infra placement issues but somewhere we need to put checks and balances ..We are not developed nation where everyone could join their field of choice NO. Still in given circumstances JEE Advanced is functioning as great filter
Sir can u share your experiences that how do u feel after your parents left u in college after admission ... I am also going to study aerospace from IIST Trivandrum this year...i feel attached to my parents a lot 🥺
Great sir!! This means you are probably an aspiring ISRO scientist. Very glad to see this. All the best.
+1 😊
I did feel a certain pang of loneliness. But our first semester was so jam-packed with academic load, that I did not have the time to feel sad. Plus, since I was a dropper, I was extremely grateful that I had finally got the chance to be at IIT Kharagpur. And, that helped to overcome everything!
@@Prof_JC sir please see my question ❓ need your help
Apun to happy tha, ghar ki ladaiyo, roktok se door Shanti me 😂 in ur room
Thank you professor jc
Your belongs which college
I am at IIT Kharagpur.
Sir any idea about the quality of SBP hall
Hello sir I had repeated my class 11only due to health issues i couldn't study
This year i gave boards 2022
Am i eligible for jee advance 2023
My subject is economics
Dear sir
i am going to join iit kgp thos year as a freshie but as mt rank was a bit low so i was unable to get my desired branch that so my doubt is can i take courses of my interest and learn them while my summer break?
Or is there any restriction that other dept cant take the course
Although my goal is not placements i want to maximise my learning output in these 5 years can u give me some tips i want to get into startup and entrepreneurship side
Thank u
Welcome to the Institute. You can always take any subject of your choice (provided there is no time-table clash) as an additional. You may also choose to do a Minor in another Department (of course that entails lots of extra pressure). Later you can also choose to do your B.Tech project in another Department officially. But I sincerely urge you to concentrate on your curriculum as it is in the 1st year, where all courses are common for everybody. After that you may start exploring various options. All the best.
Sir make one more video
How to share these video to our parent (Introvert)
Just take your phone and show it to them.
Share the link with them on whatsapp and txt them to watch it, requires less courage AND gets the job done
Sir what are your views on vacant seats left in IITs? Why IITs don't participate in csab ?
Because iit me sirf rancho type log jate hai
Abb chatur log jane lage to iit ka naam badnam hogayega
Attitude of Iit😁😁
@@harsh90731 tum konsi iit ka rhe ho?
@@harsh90731 a general candidate ranking 15k is left for a reserved candidate of 30k. What kind of Rancho thing you see in the 30k student.? Do you even know cutoffs f reservations ? If they can join IIT then why not give the left seats to someone more capable then them? Why not to give them a chance too?
Nit Surat mechanical or Nit Nagpur mechanical which is best please guide
Nagpur
Nagpur
Sir, what is your view on student who demanding for jee advanced 3rd attempt for 2021 passout. Is there any possibility like jee 2022 had opportunity to give 3rd attempt for jee advanced.
sir i am not really good at studies can i manage iit bombay ,i am going to join this institute this month
How you got IITB 😂
hello sir, i have many doubt which i am facing right now and it will be very much helpful if you patiently go through my comment (i know its going to be the biggest comment here) guide me with your valuable words , i strived for 2 years to get into iit but couldn't , my rank was not enough to give me a btech degree in iit but would surely give me b.arch but i rejected that as i want to see myself as an engineer , and yes i got chances in other collages which gives admission through jee adv rank but unfortunately i was not getting my desired branch i.e circuital branches (now i actually don't desire that branch for money making , i seriously have interest in it from my very childhood , from class 8 i used to make breadboard projects using all those ICs transistor diodes etc also worked with arduino ) Now coming to the collages which offers admission through jee mains rank under the guidance of jossa i.e NITs and III-Ts , it was difficult for me to get my desired branch in old NITs as my jee mains rank was not permitting it (I was very well prepared for mains , my mock exams score was the proof of my prep level , but things didn't go according to plan , as you might be aware of the problems that occurred in jee mains 2022 and yes unfortunately I was a victim of it) so I looked forward towards III-Ts and I am thinking to take admission in III-T ranchi as i came to know from their webpage and i felt that they are performing really well and one of my acquaintance is also perusing his degree from there and claimed that iiit ranchi has huge potential to bloom, ,ore over it is very close to my house also i am getting my desired branch here easily .
1)So Sir can you please guide me weather I am taking a right decision?(still i have chance to change as csab rounds are remaining)
2) Also sir I am very much interested to have an Mtech Degree but seeing the placement stats of various iits and iisc its kind of disappointing for me that btech students are being placed with higher package compared to mtech ones, So will it be fruitful if I invest 2 more years in Mtech and look for jobs?
Kindly Guide me sir, I would be highly obliged if you give some of your precious time to me and guide me .
Hello bhai, i want some suggestion from you
Main Question :- CAN I GET ATLEAST NIT IN DROP YEAR IF I dont even know 1 chapter of 11th PCM
PLZZ READ THIS TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS THE ACTUAL STORY :-
Brother i want to join DRDO 🇮🇳 and for drdo exam i have to fullfill one of the criteria either gate score or 80% in IIT/NIT so i want decrease gate pressure by joining atleast NIT i dont have the aim to join IIT i am just targeting these colleges because it will help me to join DRDO 🇮🇳. BROTHER i m in 12 th and let me clarify you my situation :- i dont even know any 1 chaoter of 12th PCM even board level i mean i didnt studied in 11th and also in 12th i started studying 3months back and of 12th i will end up of only board level knowlegde in 12th. I messed up with my life and goals in lockdown in gaming and esports i am interested in electronics and till 9th i used to give 4-5 hrs of day on electronics because that give some kind of pleasure i think u can relate🥰. My question is :- Is it possible to Cover atleast jee mains level syllabus of 11th and 12th in drop year with top notch questions and modules i also want to clarify i am good at analysing question and doing it i.e i m not an average one i am something more than that all i need to do is hardwork and these 2 years after 10th slapped me so hard that i am never going to distract in my upcoming life😣.
Is it practically possible for me to make it to NITs or i have to focus on CUET and then gate
Also @jc sir what are ur suggestions on my situation plzz reoly
@@SouLGarG_64 yes bro it's possible no need to worry .. just calm down and one thing I want to say you that at this moment don't think of drop as this will create a psudo comfort zone around you and that will harm you ... Fight till the end .. don't know what you can do in the first attempt of jee mains but yeah you can keep your focus on the second attempt don't think about the result weather you will get nit or not with your class 12th just do your work with full dedication and if i suppose the negative thing happens then no need to worry just see the positive side 😃 that you have already covered the 80 % of the syllabus (here with "syllabus" I don't mean only the literal syllabus of jee mains , here i am using that word to refer question practice , mock exam , temperament , confidence etc ) so you will feel that you are quite ahead of others for 2024 attempt🥰 (always remember brother every consequences has both positive and negative impact now it's your choice to cry or to learn from mistakes and fly ) so ultimately there is no loss .. practice lots and lots of question understand the concepts (specially for phy , maths and organic ) you may join a crash course like physics wallah and for this few months just curtoff all your distractions .. limit your phone usage (u can use various focus tracker apps which locks the mobile and even i used one )spend less time with your friends , limit your time with your friends .. ask your parents not to involve you in any family functions ,sacrifice some of your favourite things (even i did) and i am sure that will help u one day and some day you will really thank me 😅 ..and yes always remeber one thing there is no substitute of hardwork.... Khud hie ko bulaand itna ki har taqdeer se pehle khuda khud aakar bande se pooche ki batah Teri Raza kya hai .....
@@SouLGarG_64 as your condition is bit critical as you have wasted your time so you have to put extra effort and promise yourself that you will be dedicated to your studies only in these days ... Your level of concentration should be like that ki tumhe koi fadak bhi nhi padhe ki aas paas kya ho rha hai , kisne kis dost ko thappad maara , Sharma ji ka ladka kya kar rha hai etc etc se tumhe koi matlab nhi hona chahiye... Also i am suggesting you to join crash course .. they wil realise soon
@@electrocircuitboy5319 thankyou bhai ❤️ for this guidance. I have subscribed ur channel so that i can thank you one day 😄....
Sir can u help a boy who wants to take admission in nit bhopal cse
But due to financial condition he is unable to pay,he managed to collect 13k ,he needs 6.5k more
Bank declined to give him loan bcoz he is a type of refugee.
I am also financially weak otherwise I will help him.
And sir I am not a scammer, I am also a dropper for jee 2023.
Pls sir help him.
Refugee?? 😥
Sir i am dropper student 2022 ( 12 in 2021 complete) due to Covid in 2021 - 2022 not able to take coaching because i live in small village of MP
But at the jee advance day due zoom in problem in question paper and health issue on same day i not able to clear jee advance but got preparatory rank 2490 .
Sir ji there is any chance in 2023 students that get 3 attmep of jee advance in 2023 of 2021 students
Many technical fault are occur in jee mains and zoom in problem in advance
Also very big and dangerous problem 'corona' are also pick at jee 2021 ( board also cancel by PM N. Modi ji )
So there is any relaxation can IIt give Jee For 2021 Student
Because many rumours are in internet so i am very confused and also have hope that professors of IIt can understand the problem at which situation does students have now
Please tell 🙏🙏🙏
Kuch nhi milega preparatory ka mtlab tumhara jee advance ka cutoff bhi clear nhi hua, abhi sai drop lelo, don't waste any further time, aur koi 3rd attempt nhi milega
Sir how is RAMAIAH INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY, BANGALORE CSE? I am leaving BITS DUAL DEGREE? Is my decision correct?
BITS Dual Degree in which Department?
@@Prof_JC sir msc biology or chemistry + be degree on the basis of first year cgpa, for cse its 8.5 and minimum 7.3 for eni
@@rahulpaul5921 BITS has a much stronger track record. So please think seriously. If you are genuinely interested in CS then your decision is OK, otherwise rethink.
@@Prof_JCRespected sir bits is my dream college(after i realised I can't crack jee) but parents are saying to take cse anyways as they say dual at bits is very risky and tough in 3rd,4th year (as both degrees are taught).also not allowing for a drop got 97% in boards this year.
Sir do you have idea about RAMAIAH INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY BANGALORE?
THANKS FOR REPLYING..
@@rahulpaul5921 take bits don't do that blunder you will regret a lot in life later.
sir what should i consider im getting environmental engineering at DTU(tier 1) but my intrest is placement in tech should i opt for it or rather go for tier 3 CS
You can learn things on your own in DTU too good environment
I had discussed this issue in an earlier video (ruclips.net/video/_fENTnz1Gz8/видео.html) where I mentioned that one should give preference for the Department depending on one's interests instead of the Institute. But you have to be sure that you are genuinely interested in the Department and not getting influenced by the media hype. However, another factor to consider is that if the only institute that you are getting to pursue your desired Department does not have an overall proper culture than you are not going to grow as an individual much in that environment. So, there is no direct correct answer to your question. It depends on your own interest plus the environment of the place where you may be getting CS.
@@Prof_JC sir DTU is one of the best after IITS but the problem im mainly facing in there is will companies allow peaple from these lower branches to sit in their placement OFFCAMPUS. as i know in DTU there is no chance of on campus tech placement for ENE branch. DO you have any idea about the offcampus things??. im getting cs in IPU delhi thts just a decent college and environment of the institute would just be decent too. IM thinking of taking a good college [DTU] but is scared of "will companies allow peaple from these branches offcampus"?
@@Prathamxzc Bhai off campus is difficult because many ppl apply for a few vacancies
@@Prathamxzc there are many tech companies which opens for all departments. You will get many opportunities there, you will have to just do hardcore coding and maintain your GPA
my parents know hindi only
lol
मेरी मदद करो सर जी मेरा लड़का बी टेक कॉलेज में जाके सिगरेट पीता है और लड़कीबाजी करता है और वह उनके साथ सेक्सुअल activities में भी इन्वॉल्व है । वह काफी बार लड़कियों के साथ पकड़ा गया है गलत अवस्था में । मैने उसे समझाया की ऐसा मत करे तो अब वोह दारु भी पीने लगा है । अब मैं क्या करू ????? मेरी मदद करे प्लीज।
😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣