@@sundaylibre Of course , I am not saying women don’t. The reason I said that was because some women think that they deserve a high standard man that brings a lot to the table but they themselves don’t. Like i am talking about spoiled , toxic and arrogant women.
@@A25665 listen here. Love , care , respect is something that should be given, by both parties.It's bare minimum in relationship. But protection and provide some do , some might not.
This video was really interesting. I’m of Nigerian decent and we have a similar dating/marriage culture too. I never knew there was a term for this approach to relationships but now I’ve learned.
Questioning hypergamy only seems to be a thing in western cultures especially America. As a Ugandan and East African, hypergamy is the sensible thing to do, just a cultural thing. It is mostly a way to get a better life for yourself and family too. Since we acknowledge extended family members, it is very common to find a person and their spouse supporting parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, in-laws etc. Marrying well is a meal ticket for not just you but the whole clan.
@@VioletMugabi yea….and I do believe it would be a bit ignorant to just mainly blame the victims of a failed system. Hypergamy was and is possible, not saying it isn’t, but not considering the working class people who are justifiably suffering the circumstances of the economic crisis is a bit harsh. I do believe hypergamy leads to a happy and healthy family, but what if just one source of income is not enough to support 3 people? The answer would be to work hard right? But wouldn’t it be extremely difficult on both parties as well as the upbringing of the kid? And you might say…well, you shouldn’t have one if you can’t take care of one…and it would just result in more lonely epidemic crisis amongst the working class which would then turn into unjust hatred towards the upper classes.
I mean I agree with the Hypergamy but the things is "what you bring to the table?" Question still apply the man relieve the financial burden while the woman takes care of the family along with other small matters, if it's this I agree but when the woman doesn't want to take care of the family, want to insist on spending her time on her job which she financially Don't need, I really against that@@Nastydollars
Let's keep it real, marrying a rich husband is only the 2nd best option for a woman to be taken care of! The safest bet was and still is having a high education and making her own money! The husband can leave her (for another, oftentimes younger, woman) or die and then what?? Being older, and oftentimes with children, it's much harder to catch a new rich provider! With no money-making skills on her own, she'll most likely end up in poverty! Even if he stays married to her, he might chose to cheat on her or beat her up and there's nothing she can do about it, because she's financially dependant on him. That life of misery might, for most women, still be a better option than being married to a broke guy. But there exists a 3rd option which is making your own money and marrying a rich guy! Him knowing you can leave at any moment will keep him on his toes when it comes to treating you right and respecting you!
I had this EXACT SAME THOUGHT after watching this video! When “it girl” stated “my money is *my* money and his money is *OUR* money,” it led me to thinking “This statement is exactly why women should always have money in whatever financial relationship they are in because if things don’t work out, she will always be able to support herself, whether she decides to live on her own or find someone new.
Well said. This is exactly why my mom encouraged me to get an education, so that I won’t have to financially rely on a man, and will therefore have more agency over what I spend money on in the future.
Never give up on life and try to find a rich man. Be your own money maker. Go to college and get scholarships, many of them will pay for dorms, books, tuition, and some will even pay you to go to college. Stay in college as long as you can, you might as well get your PhD. Get a good job that you love and go to college for something you love. Then you will never have to worry about finances and you can live a comfortable stress free life. Your lover can always leave you and take everything, then what? If you have kids, how will you care for them? How will you care for yourself? If you don't have a good degree, you will struggle and end up on the verge of homelessness. Take care of yourself.
As a young Asian guy, I can say that I really agree with the main point of this video. I think western men have become too soft and lazy, and frankly unmanly. Although at this point, my girlfriend is much more financially stable than me (we're both young), it's all the more motivation for me to work hard to provide a good life for our family one day. Also, as someone who was raised by an Asian woman, the notion of white guys going to Asia to find a "soft submissive" woman is so incredibly funny to me. Anyway, hypergamy is natural and good, as it drives men to be better men.
And what happens if you don’t make more than her? You have little life experience and it shows. I’ve made millions and still can have more empathy for a society in which feminism has corrupted.
@@JourneyDestination don’t understand the point you’re trying to make. So what if I have little life experience? What’s the argument you’re trying to assert by this comment?
@@weiyuan20 My friend, if you’re looking for an honest, sincere answer, I’ll take the time to write it out. Otherwise, I won’t bother, since it might be a bit lengthy. Do you live in China?
I am not a American or European person but when I think about “what you bring to the table”, I imagine that the woman can say something about how good wife, companion and mother she can be, and not how much money she has. It’s a different kind of value and I think it’s just as important for a man to invest in a relationship that is worth for him and his future children.
even in African culture , a woman is expected to date and marry up... even befor the marriage is finalized , the man has to show proof of funs and his ability to protect
Being a woman is the strongest woman you can be. It is more than enough especially for men that like women. Imagine a man who LOVES women, that will be his priority and he will outpour love like crazy. Date men who LOVE women and who LOVE the female gender and want to honor it.
@@JellyOnAPancakeAyyyyrare but at the same time quite findable. you just have to know how to look for them. hypergamy actually hurts you though when finding these men, often early in life theyre very not ready to date because theyre usually a lot more sensitive which lends them to isolate more to self develop. this is why i disagree with the video mostly. chinese dating culture is quite superficial in my opinion but i agree with the premise that the man must love the woman very much and want to be a provider (key here is "want" not be, because accruing wealth is difficult and its not fair to push away a good hearted suitor on the basis of current wealth). but the desire to provide and be a better man is key, because thats how men show love truly. and vulnerability as well.
A intresting observe of my relationship is a strong women will act weak when they with someone they love, there has been time where my girl get into accident go on to talk with the person that hit her then going to the emergency alone and taking care of it done went home and then finally telling me what happened then complain how painful it's and cuddle with me wanna take rest besides me telling me that I reduce the pain
@@alexa_codesit’s really not that findable. There’s a reason why women in China struggle so hard to find a partner that checks every box in their list of standards despite men outnumbering them. The problem is men want a partner, but women want a caretaker, and men know this. They stop pursuing women so less people are getting into relationships which is contributing to the loneliness epidemic around the world. It’s also contributing to population decline since people can’t make babies if they can’t find people to make them with. This prevailing mentality is causing way more social issues than people realize.
Similar to your culture, my Nigerian (Igbo) culture encourages hypergamy. Women live with their parents before marriage and when she meets someone, he will be appropriately vetted. He will have to show he can support her and their future family. Brideprice, a home, and stable income are a must. If you look up Nigerian wedding bride price you’ll see some where the man is brings money or goods to pay the bride price. Splitting or going 50/50 with a man is looked down upon because it reflects poorly on the man’s ability to provide. I was shocked when I came to the US and couples were living together before marriage and no brideprice. They marry for love which was absolutely absurd to me. It’s harder these days because Nigerian men are being influenced by American culture and want 50/50 now 😂😂😂 The planet is overpopulated anyway, we will be fine!
It’s not just the west that talk about this 50/50 stuff in Japan you meet more and more people doing it. While some women prefer hypergamy but many new generation are doing split the bill. Or it’s considered good to ask to split the bill even the guy says no. My Chinese friends always complain to me that when they date here many of the men become frugal after the first date or 2nd date. It’s interesting because traditionally the man works and the wife may quit her job to take care of the kids or home. The man brings money to her and she takes care of the finances for the house but more young people (my generation) are trying to do this 50/50.
I think that's because western men are often fed with ideas that women are useless aside from offering sex and having babies, basically money suckers. If you were on man side, you would be bombarded with a lot of case studies how terrible women, especially when it comes to cheating, can be. There are so many stories of how the father found their loving children not blood related. What most men hate is that women can have so many opportunities to cheat and there is nothing they can do about it. The US law also tends to protect women who cheated for Humanitarianism. Young men are more wary of this because all of these bad examples come from the previous generation, not the current one. It was then that the whole manosphere started questioning the idea why men must sacrifice their whole life for the women. Personally, I blame the Western society for this problem. Being so open and lax about sex and relationship ruins the traditional relationship. The whole idea about being allowed to have so many body counts and having emotional affairs is okay for women is what makes men distrust women. It's only now worsened by modern feminism that somehow hurts women more than helping them. In less developed countries, people are still conservative and practice traditional practices, one man one woman as family for life. It's even illegal to practice adultery for both men and women. Especially in Mulism countries, adultery sometimes comes with death sentence.
thank you for speaking on behalf of all women, this is literally how my culture is, even in a religious perspective it's a requirement for a man to provide and give dowry, therefore and mostly women from my culture at least won't even accept a boy who can't provide.
I see "Crazy Rich Asians" referenced, but the main relationship it centered around was more of a "love" centered relationship, where his finance and social standing wasn't made aware of until the reveal.
it's not that the relationship isn't being put in by both sides , if the man is providing for the relationship , then the woman would usually put effort into the house or kids , is that not considered effort to you ? the difference with the 'soft male' thing is the fact that the man literally does not want to do anything , if hypergamy has been going on for years , why would they want to change it now ? and i'm not saying that it's not okay for men and women to go out of the stereotype of a housewife or working husband , it's just if it was out of the stereotype , the male should still put effort into the relationship differently , not just doing nothing.
this video weights less on character attributes / love for the partner but more on typical materialism/wealth. On one side this makes sense since the dating scene went downhill but all described coping strategies displayed here seem to only fuel into them. Instead of lessen the importance of goods in (the start of) a relationship, it now gets shoved infront and blocking. Your main focus on the first date shouldn't be who pays but who the other person is.
You're being dense on purpose. Because that's not what the video talks about. Obviously you have to put in effort too. Hypergamy is good, in fact alot of cultures participate in it. It's only on the West, that is an issue. It's not the same thing at all, because men are expected to provide for the most part.
Thank you very much for sharing this! I learned so much about your culture and the beauty of provider men. This opened me up to another insightful perspective
Love is always conditional (except parents to child) However the main problem of pairs that they do not know which condition is important for stable relationship. The main thing here is gratefullnes. It is the main characteristic for perseverance of feelings to your partner.
This gotta be one of my favorite channels. I love itt. Like I've been watchin your videos and you helped me and many other women. Thank you for choosing to not give this channel up. Forever gon support you
That's right! I'm Afro-Arab and I like my Asian fiancee for this reason, which is we almost have the same qualities and principles. so I'm in a healthy happy relationship with him.
Remember, it is okay if you don't want to have a family. Never feel pressured to have children. If you can not take care of yourself, you damn well can't take care of a child. Take a look at everyone around you, they most likely had horrible parents. Look at the IPAD kids and disrespectful kids that are everywhere, that is what happens when you aren't ready for children. Not everyone is ready to have kids, and not everyone is made to have kids. If you are struggling with money or your mental health, do not even think about having kids, if you have a child in that state you will ruin their entire life. If you are bringing a child into this life you must be financially and emotionally prepared. If your kid has health problems or deformities, how will you pay for that if you don't have the money? Are you strong enough mentally to care for a physically disabled child for the rest of their life? Not all kids can take care of themselves if they have disabilities, you must be prepared to take care of them for the rest of your life, and you have to have the money to pay for someone to care for them when you are gone. Children are people, very expensive tiny people that take a lot of work. They deserve to have loving parents that will take care of them no matter what. You are bringing them into the world, they did not ask for this. My aunts child is in his early 40s and he is disabled, he can not speak, or walk, he has a motorized chair and his mother had to buy a van for him. She had to completely renovate her house to make it accessible to him. She is almost 60 and she is still caring for him. Now think about this, would you want to do that for your child? And do you have the money for that? If you answered no, then do not have kids. You can't choose if you want your kid to be healthy or not, things happen no matter how healthy you are. You need to be prepared for the worst. I'm disabled and my parents weren't prepared at all. My life has been living hell because I've had zero help my whole life. My mum abandoned me the day I was born and my working father had to take care of me. My grandmother watched me while my dad was at work. When he went to prison, I went back and fourth to other family members houses because no one wanted me. My father always struggled financially, especially after my mum cheated on him and took all of his money, then proceeded to get married and have a child she loves (she was divorced because she was cheating, she took her husbands money and ran off with another man again). I know a lot of people really want kids, but thing about your childs future. If you aren't prepared in every single way, they will suffer. Why would you bring life into this world knowing that they will suffer? Think about them, not you. Get a pet instead if you aren't mentally or financially stable.
You made me realise how much I was trying to prove by being masculine but I see now that I don’t have to be that for myself if I do find the right person
“Hypergamy” is a hugeeee topic talked within incel/red-pill/alpha male communities so it makes sense why the RUclips algorithm mixes in these videos. It’s just sad that we can’t separate the explained hypergamy from this video to the ones where it’s straight up misogynistic…
30M here. Ladies, a high value man will not tolerate a woman who disrespects him and herself. Work on what you bring to the relationship, without even considering sex. Work on yourself as a human being. Beauty is highly important, but what is the point of an empty book, even if the cover of the book looks good.
I've been studying chinese culture for the past 25 years and I have to say I 100% agree that this is "traditionally" the way things go. However, that came mostly in part from the fact women couldn't earn much money. They were staying home raising the kids. Nowaday, women are more educated and more and more earn their own money which inevitably redefine gender roles in a couple. Hypergamy make sense when you have to rely on someone else for your own needs. Less so when you depends on yourself. Also, higher status (and other "higher" thereins) means theses men/women have a lot of choices and thus it creates a stronger competition too. I'll also end this comments on the fact that divorce that was frowned upon in Chinese culture are also more and more a trend... there's something to learn there.
She literally said my money is my money and your money is our money. I wouldn’t let any of my brothers date a woman like that. We’re all well off.. but you get what you pay for and she’s advertising herself as she is. If the man wants to buy it don’t be surprised if and when she finds a higher bidder. There is always someone richer.
If your partner fills the role of the provider, what role do you play that contributes to the relationship? There's nothing wrong with hypergamy. The problem arises when you expect the other person to his job but you don't do yours.
Yep this video only really covered the expectations for men and how the women should play into that as well as that this dynamic makes men strive for more money. What about the healthy dynamics between men and women and their future family? Sure she mentions perceived desirability and social status but I feel like that needed to be touched upon a bit more. It seems really unhealthy for men to prioritize and worry so much about being this huge wallet. Why is it so laughable when a man wants the roles reversed? Why aren’t we laughing at women right now is it only because of tradition? I’m not saying that hypergamy can’t work just that it can be problematic too.
I feel like what do you bring to the table for men is a valid question. Like if they are going to pay for you and protect you then are you worth paying for. Like when you are buying the product that cost a lot of money wouldn't you ask if it is the best product can I find something better. Is this worth my hard earn cash. Because for women it easier for them to tell if a man match their expecation because all they need to do is find out their job and how much money they make. For men they are looking for good wife material which is harder to find unless if they are looking for beauty.
It’s usually not a great question because they’re asking it for the wrong reasons. The most generous & loving men I’ve dated have never asked me that. The first & last time a man asked me that question our date lasted less than 20 minutes. It wasn’t because of that question but he was mad I was smiling a lot (which is something I always do) & was asking him questions back. He was also very proud of his accomplishments which he kept on talking about so why bring up your accomplishments and get annoyed when someone asks you about them? I was 21 & he was in his early 30s.
Everyone wants to marry rich 🤑 but here’s the thing: rich people are in short supply. And they are not going to choose anybody. Furthermore, their own families will reject a daughter in law who just wants the money 💰 . Did you know that in Chinese law, if a spouse dies, then the spouse’s own parents will have inheritance rights and not the spouse’s spouse? So, it is much easier to search for a relatively rich husband, not a super rich husband who makes enough to make you a housewife. But that is hard to do too. Why? Girls are entering the university in droves and getting highly paid jobs. Finding a man who makes more than them is going to be very hard, and they will have to lower their expectations. We can allow polygamy though, but this also means that the women have to compete for the man’s attention. Either way, someone has to give.
Doesn’t matter. There’s a disproportionate ratio of men to women in China due to the consequences of the one-child policy (where families prioritized keeping boys over girls), ugly women still have the upper hand when it comes to the dating culture. The family will even try to get the girls under the knife if she’s too ugly so she can be of use to them and secure the bloodline.
How does that work out for you in the US? It's more difficult for millennial men to have land here and pay for everything for his woman. The income gaps are not too much between women and men.
I love your videos and you did such a good job on the Playbook Mini, I loved reading it ♡ May I ask what software you use for editing your videos? I'm looking for a software to practice on :)
This is in the filipino culture but with the influences of Passport bros Im sticking to Either you pay since you want to date me or i leave . Most of the time i leave than be with a cheap person
girly I feel you! I have taken an allergy test... turns out I'm DEADLY ALLERGIC to 50/50 dusty sassy men😪 Atleast now I know to avoid them at all cost, so all is well ;)
I dated a guy that I met during classes. He payed for everything, and I felt like a prize and cared for. But not totally secure, he loved bombed, expected me topay back with s*x. And thank God he dumped me. But hypergamy isn't "accepted" I will apply it subtly. I don't want a Sugar Daddy, I want a husband.
Women were not expected to pay because they didn’t work or have the same opportunities economically. That is the ideal behind it, but no longer applies. However now, they want to keep such tradition while forgoing any that do not benefit them.
Genuine question, in hypergamy in Chinese culture, do the men expect something in return for providing the money? Like, is there something specific the woman needs to provide as well or is there a certain way the woman needs to act/be?
Worked in China because of the circumstances. Circumstances are a little different here in the west. Many women here can’t afford to be as picky as in China because there isn’t a scarcity of women. Women want only the best men, which is natural and neither right nor wrong, but the math would indicate that only a select few women will get the top tier men. “High value” men are much fewer in numbers than “high value” women because men and women value different things in the other. Many women have the things that most men want. Very few men have the things that most women want. I disagree with your point that hypergamy is fine and good. It’s just the way things worked out naturally because of the conditions and numbers. It’s supply and demand. Women will need to lower their standards unless they are willing and can be happy to share the top tier men with other women.
my ex has no money and would tell me we cant go on dates bcs he cant but he really wants to. were still 17, its okay right? i paid many times and i helped him pay for a dog and i gave him money on his birthday.. it was honestly tiring but i know he had nothing. i mean hr could have been better because he goes out with his friends and has a car so obviiusly he has money but very little and im a person who likes to spend and eat i was too expemsive for him but he stayed with me bcs he loved me.
It's not even a man/woman thing I think in general people should have high standards and men rn r desperate af & are available to any women. A woman might have 100 options while a man has 10 therefore it is natural for the woman to go with the best option.
Hiii!! Ily n ur videos, I really need advice frm you!! Soo there's this guy, Harry who was very good to me, come up n tall to me always, always noticed even the smallest things abt me was my good friend until now.. I heard him telling his friends that he liked me.. But now there's a sudden shift.. In between he had joined some camp so we couldn't talk much... so since im an extrovert i started talking to othr guys as well n more specific ally with i guy named James tho we were just frnds in fact i treatee James like my brother.. But now ig Harry is jealous n so he doesn't talk much.. Instead now he talks to othr girls n back hugs them(gets close with them) ig he's doing all this just to make me jealous.. So, i didn't talk to him as well cause he was being too tochy with them tho he knew it would make me get angry..however recently we talked about our exam scores n stuff.. But we didn't talk anything personal like we used to do b4.. Since ig ik that he isn't talking to me cause he's jealous should i go n tell him tht James n I are not dating.. So tht we can talk like we used to do. I feel bad as he didn't confirm all this with me n simply started not to talk.. Lemme also give you some background.. I'm not boasting but everyone says tht I'm the prettiest.. So ig im the prettiest girl, well harry is quite handome too n i had a crush on him as well. Many people told me tht we looked good together n we should date n stuff.. So basically they shipped us. So I wanna ask you if i should clear this misunderstanding.. Or leave it on him n continue not to talk.. Pls replyy 🙏🙏 Btw I'm a new subcriber.. Ur videos r very motivating n encouraging. I love ur positivity.. I hope u gain a lot more subscribers..❤❤
There is nothing wrong with this idea in the 1800s, where the labor pool was mostly man, and human labor is still a major means of production. With woman entering the work force, and Ai obsoleting human labor, your pool is not only small, but unrealistic. I get it and agree that man needs to have a job that he is serious about. But your idea is base off an obsolete context.
Concept of Hypergamy dating sucks! Love should be the ONLY reason for people to get married. If you're not doing financially well, then both should wait until they get better financially in order to get married or both should get married & work hard together to get financial independence. And one more thing, people don't always want kids after marriage. Many couples choose to be childfree after marriage. So marrying someone just because of financial or social status is absolutely not necessary! Hypergamy dating should end in asian countries. Both men & women should be financially independent & get married because of Love.
Advice like hypergamy dating is only deluding some women into thinking men will be enamored with them forever....If the only thing you bring to the table is quenching his lust while he provides luxury, things might not turn out the way you want it to once you get older. Women who "seduce" men who can give them riches don't realize these men KNOW what they are doing: they want you when you're 21 but when you're 40, you're washed up to them. That's why you shouldn't rely on a man, build something for yourself so you have something to fall on. Find someone you love and someone who loves you for YOU. The rich have choices and you aren't special.
Induced hypergamy is not a bad guess from yours. (7:40) However, as the biggest growing economy china is, no one would be suprised because the man puts down work for the economy, mainly industrial effort (metal, energy, etc. - ). If a man now wants a woman, he has to join the rat race. All now favoring the chineese gov. There is little emphasis on the family in comparison, as you stated. Chineese families in the united states have consistently changed their attitude they otherwise had when lived in china. These cultural induced traits wear out after 4-5 generations - they become more american.
Sounds so ideal until you found out about how the wife will be scrutinized if they ever divorced "do you let yourself go?" " "did you do anything that made him leave?"
I don’t know ay….I do agree that men have to be capable of doing those things the very least and someone that they can rely upon. However, 😂😂 what about something more grounded than materialistic?😂😂 I mean….yea, I’m broke cause of college debts and all but doesn’t it make sense to just love people for who they are rather than what they could provide ?? Or is that too humane???😂😂😂😂like I said …I do not know….times are different😂😂😂I was just laughing throughout the whole video …not cause I found it funny but it’s realistically satire😂😌😂😂😂😂
China went through harsh regimes under Mao Zedong and he only died in the 70s. Theoretically, if you have Chinese relatives living through his regime, they’d still be alive today to live to tell the tale. Women were expected to be homemakers and take care of the children while the men do the manual labor and bring in the (little) money. And this dynamic worked for them and they’ve survived Mao’s regime that way. Also you also have to think about the One-Child policy that recently ended too; many Chinese families tried for a boy so the boy can work alongside his father and aid him. Girls were tossed. You are now seeing the consequences of this policy in their hypergamy culture: a competitive dating scene where women get the upper hand because there are too many men and not enough women to produce the next generation. So, of course, to secure your bloodline, women seek for only the best out of the huge sea of men and even their families encourage women to do this. If a man can’t provide for her, how will he be able to provide for their future kids and secure the bloodline? She can easily find someone else. This explanation is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Asian dating culture btw, it’s much more deeper.
@@julietdang wow that just sounds harsh and exhausting to both parties and a little discriminatory. But hey, if it worked for em. What would you say is the solution?
@@Nastydollars A man can either: play the game, opt out of marriage (his parents will disown him with suspicions that he’s gay), or find a wife abroad (high chances of them being discriminatory towards the wife). So any way, he’s walking on eggshells. A woman can either: play the game, opt out (family will disown her and call her a 剩女, which loosely translates to “leftover woman”, which is basically a slur for unmarried woman beyond 25 years old), or marry abroad (she won’t get that much flak if she does this, as long as she’s married, he can provide for her and the entire family, and they have offsprings). There isn’t an easy fix for this situation unfortunately because the situation goes way beyond surface level at this point.
Its turu, in many cultures the man is so much of a provider and protector that he is likely to have multiple wives and offspring with them as well. As no highly valuable man is only going to have a few children, but possibly dozens, if that is his personal preference or goal in life.
Doesn’t really matter what she brings; she’d still get lots of marriage proposals due to the disproportionate ratio of men to women due to the consequences of the one-child policy that ended less than a decade ago. The dating scene is men trying to prove their prospective wives that they’re better than the next guy.
This is the first time I've heard there is a word for having a realistic and pragmatic view of dating. I'm a new subscriber now, and forgive me if I missed it, but I don't see other videos on this. Would you be able to make a video on how to do this and where to look because I need to be realistic here 😅🫰
even in African culture , a woman is expected to date and marry up... even befor the marriage is finalized , the man has to show proof of funs and his ability to protect
@@sundaylibre i guess it depend on ur culture but in mine.. a man would rather die that ask his wife for money....marrying a man beneath u financially and socially as a woman does only get u labeled as cheap but also ur parents .. ur mom will be mocked for not rasing their child with proper values and dad for not giving a proper example of a provider
@@femmefatale71 Lmfao does your mother represent Africa? Many, if not most African women end up with men who treat them as servants while not providing for the families needs nor the woman. Some luck out and end up with good men who pamper them but it's not common
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Marry a man who's a provider and a protector. Period.
i believe that should go for women as well. Both Should provide something and bring things to the table. But I'd say love is important as hell!
@@sundaylibre Of course , I am not saying women don’t. The reason I said that was because some women think that they deserve a high standard man that brings a lot to the table but they themselves don’t. Like i am talking about spoiled , toxic and arrogant women.
Nonsense!
Marry a man who truly loves you & you also love back. Period.
@@A25665 listen here.
Love , care , respect is something that should be given, by both parties.It's bare minimum in relationship. But protection and provide some do , some might not.
@@sundaylibre What is a woman supoosed to bring to the table? Please answer
This video was really interesting. I’m of Nigerian decent and we have a similar dating/marriage culture too. I never knew there was a term for this approach to relationships but now I’ve learned.
you are pretty!
Questioning hypergamy only seems to be a thing in western cultures especially America. As a Ugandan and East African, hypergamy is the sensible thing to do, just a cultural thing. It is mostly a way to get a better life for yourself and family too. Since we acknowledge extended family members, it is very common to find a person and their spouse supporting parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, in-laws etc. Marrying well is a meal ticket for not just you but the whole clan.
@@VioletMugabi yea….and I do believe it would be a bit ignorant to just mainly blame the victims of a failed system. Hypergamy was and is possible, not saying it isn’t, but not considering the working class people who are justifiably suffering the circumstances of the economic crisis is a bit harsh. I do believe hypergamy leads to a happy and healthy family, but what if just one source of income is not enough to support 3 people? The answer would be to work hard right? But wouldn’t it be extremely difficult on both parties as well as the upbringing of the kid? And you might say…well, you shouldn’t have one if you can’t take care of one…and it would just result in more lonely epidemic crisis amongst the working class which would then turn into unjust hatred towards the upper classes.
I mean I agree with the Hypergamy but the things is "what you bring to the table?" Question still apply the man relieve the financial burden while the woman takes care of the family along with other small matters, if it's this I agree but when the woman doesn't want to take care of the family, want to insist on spending her time on her job which she financially Don't need, I really against that@@Nastydollars
It’s a feminist thing. If your women are taught to compete against you, and be combative, would hypergamy then be an issue?
GIRL who edits your videos? they’re incredible. not just the editing, you’re overall style, the voiceovers, the branding AHHH
yes we need an editing tutorial
Let's keep it real, marrying a rich husband is only the 2nd best option for a woman to be taken care of! The safest bet was and still is having a high education and making her own money! The husband can leave her (for another, oftentimes younger, woman) or die and then what?? Being older, and oftentimes with children, it's much harder to catch a new rich provider! With no money-making skills on her own, she'll most likely end up in poverty! Even if he stays married to her, he might chose to cheat on her or beat her up and there's nothing she can do about it, because she's financially dependant on him. That life of misery might, for most women, still be a better option than being married to a broke guy. But there exists a 3rd option which is making your own money and marrying a rich guy! Him knowing you can leave at any moment will keep him on his toes when it comes to treating you right and respecting you!
@@sundaylibre💯
I had this EXACT SAME THOUGHT after watching this video! When “it girl” stated “my money is *my* money and his money is *OUR* money,” it led me to thinking “This statement is exactly why women should always have money in whatever financial relationship they are in because if things don’t work out, she will always be able to support herself, whether she decides to live on her own or find someone new.
💯👏👏
Well said. This is exactly why my mom encouraged me to get an education, so that I won’t have to financially rely on a man, and will therefore have more agency over what I spend money on in the future.
Never give up on life and try to find a rich man. Be your own money maker. Go to college and get scholarships, many of them will pay for dorms, books, tuition, and some will even pay you to go to college. Stay in college as long as you can, you might as well get your PhD. Get a good job that you love and go to college for something you love. Then you will never have to worry about finances and you can live a comfortable stress free life. Your lover can always leave you and take everything, then what? If you have kids, how will you care for them? How will you care for yourself? If you don't have a good degree, you will struggle and end up on the verge of homelessness. Take care of yourself.
As a young Asian guy, I can say that I really agree with the main point of this video. I think western men have become too soft and lazy, and frankly unmanly. Although at this point, my girlfriend is much more financially stable than me (we're both young), it's all the more motivation for me to work hard to provide a good life for our family one day.
Also, as someone who was raised by an Asian woman, the notion of white guys going to Asia to find a "soft submissive" woman is so incredibly funny to me.
Anyway, hypergamy is natural and good, as it drives men to be better men.
Look at the statistics. They are very soft and feminine when the men of that demographic that you describe show up over there. You are incorrect.
Of course their soft women spoon feed men
And what happens if you don’t make more than her? You have little life experience and it shows. I’ve made millions and still can have more empathy for a society in which feminism has corrupted.
@@JourneyDestination don’t understand the point you’re trying to make. So what if I have little life experience? What’s the argument you’re trying to assert by this comment?
@@weiyuan20 My friend, if you’re looking for an honest, sincere answer, I’ll take the time to write it out. Otherwise, I won’t bother, since it might be a bit lengthy. Do you live in China?
I am not a American or European person but when I think about “what you bring to the table”, I imagine that the woman can say something about how good wife, companion and mother she can be, and not how much money she has. It’s a different kind of value and I think it’s just as important for a man to invest in a relationship that is worth for him and his future children.
even in African culture , a woman is expected to date and marry up... even befor the marriage is finalized , the man has to show proof of funs and his ability to protect
Being a woman is the strongest woman you can be. It is more than enough especially for men that like women. Imagine a man who LOVES women, that will be his priority and he will outpour love like crazy. Date men who LOVE women and who LOVE the female gender and want to honor it.
Omggg, but that’s like… so rare 🥲
@@JellyOnAPancakeAyyyyrare but at the same time quite findable. you just have to know how to look for them. hypergamy actually hurts you though when finding these men, often early in life theyre very not ready to date because theyre usually a lot more sensitive which lends them to isolate more to self develop. this is why i disagree with the video mostly. chinese dating culture is quite superficial in my opinion but i agree with the premise that the man must love the woman very much and want to be a provider (key here is "want" not be, because accruing wealth is difficult and its not fair to push away a good hearted suitor on the basis of current wealth). but the desire to provide and be a better man is key, because thats how men show love truly. and vulnerability as well.
@@alexa_codes100%
A intresting observe of my relationship is a strong women will act weak when they with someone they love, there has been time where my girl get into accident go on to talk with the person that hit her then going to the emergency alone and taking care of it done went home and then finally telling me what happened then complain how painful it's and cuddle with me wanna take rest besides me telling me that I reduce the pain
@@alexa_codesit’s really not that findable. There’s a reason why women in China struggle so hard to find a partner that checks every box in their list of standards despite men outnumbering them. The problem is men want a partner, but women want a caretaker, and men know this. They stop pursuing women so less people are getting into relationships which is contributing to the loneliness epidemic around the world. It’s also contributing to population decline since people can’t make babies if they can’t find people to make them with. This prevailing mentality is causing way more social issues than people realize.
Similar to your culture, my Nigerian (Igbo) culture encourages hypergamy. Women live with their parents before marriage and when she meets someone, he will be appropriately vetted. He will have to show he can support her and their future family. Brideprice, a home, and stable income are a must. If you look up Nigerian wedding bride price you’ll see some where the man is brings money or goods to pay the bride price. Splitting or going 50/50 with a man is looked down upon because it reflects poorly on the man’s ability to provide. I was shocked when I came to the US and couples were living together before marriage and no brideprice. They marry for love which was absolutely absurd to me. It’s harder these days because Nigerian men are being influenced by American culture and want 50/50 now 😂😂😂 The planet is overpopulated anyway, we will be fine!
And you are also expected to live with 3 other wives. Kedu
It’s not just the west that talk about this 50/50 stuff in Japan you meet more and more people doing it. While some women prefer hypergamy but many new generation are doing split the bill. Or it’s considered good to ask to split the bill even the guy says no. My Chinese friends always complain to me that when they date here many of the men become frugal after the first date or 2nd date. It’s interesting because traditionally the man works and the wife may quit her job to take care of the kids or home. The man brings money to her and she takes care of the finances for the house but more young people (my generation) are trying to do this 50/50.
even thought i don't agree with much of your videos but you have an amazing way of breaking down ideas and philosophies
I really appreciate this
Thank you so much for bringing up the "what do you bring to the table" it is so disrespectful. Like I didn't know that I was applying for a job??
I think that's because western men are often fed with ideas that women are useless aside from offering sex and having babies, basically money suckers. If you were on man side, you would be bombarded with a lot of case studies how terrible women, especially when it comes to cheating, can be. There are so many stories of how the father found their loving children not blood related. What most men hate is that women can have so many opportunities to cheat and there is nothing they can do about it. The US law also tends to protect women who cheated for Humanitarianism. Young men are more wary of this because all of these bad examples come from the previous generation, not the current one. It was then that the whole manosphere started questioning the idea why men must sacrifice their whole life for the women.
Personally, I blame the Western society for this problem. Being so open and lax about sex and relationship ruins the traditional relationship. The whole idea about being allowed to have so many body counts and having emotional affairs is okay for women is what makes men distrust women. It's only now worsened by modern feminism that somehow hurts women more than helping them. In less developed countries, people are still conservative and practice traditional practices, one man one woman as family for life. It's even illegal to practice adultery for both men and women. Especially in Mulism countries, adultery sometimes comes with death sentence.
thank you for speaking on behalf of all women, this is literally how my culture is, even in a religious perspective it's a requirement for a man to provide and give dowry, therefore and mostly women from my culture at least won't even accept a boy who can't provide.
I see "Crazy Rich Asians" referenced, but the main relationship it centered around was more of a "love" centered relationship, where his finance and social standing wasn't made aware of until the reveal.
This “soft male” thing is literally the same as the hypergamy thing u described. Relationship from what I known is efforts being put in on both side.
it's not that the relationship isn't being put in by both sides , if the man is providing for the relationship , then the woman would usually put effort into the house or kids , is that not considered effort to you ? the difference with the 'soft male' thing is the fact that the man literally does not want to do anything , if hypergamy has been going on for years , why would they want to change it now ? and i'm not saying that it's not okay for men and women to go out of the stereotype of a housewife or working husband , it's just if it was out of the stereotype , the male should still put effort into the relationship differently , not just doing nothing.
this video weights less on character attributes / love for the partner but more on typical materialism/wealth. On one side this makes sense since the dating scene went downhill but all described coping strategies displayed here seem to only fuel into them.
Instead of lessen the importance of goods in (the start of) a relationship, it now gets shoved infront and blocking. Your main focus on the first date shouldn't be who pays but who the other person is.
You're being dense on purpose. Because that's not what the video talks about. Obviously you have to put in effort too. Hypergamy is good, in fact alot of cultures participate in it. It's only on the West, that is an issue. It's not the same thing at all, because men are expected to provide for the most part.
two minutes in and as a single mother, I approve of this message.
Gurl you're so underrated
As a Mexican woman. This is my culture as well
Thank you very much for sharing this! I learned so much about your culture and the beauty of provider men. This opened me up to another insightful perspective
Love is always conditional (except parents to child) However the main problem of pairs that they do not know which condition is important for stable relationship. The main thing here is gratefullnes. It is the main characteristic for perseverance of feelings to your partner.
almost always conditional is very shallow. What are the main conditions here?
This gotta be one of my favorite channels. I love itt. Like I've been watchin your videos and you helped me and many other women. Thank you for choosing to not give this channel up. Forever gon support you
OMGGGGG 0:03 U LOOK VERYY BEAUTIFULL AND I LOVEE YOURRR VIDS SINCERELY HELPED ME A LOT IN LOT OF MY RELATIONSHIPS AND MINDSET
That's right! I'm Afro-Arab and I like my Asian fiancee for this reason, which is we almost have the same qualities and principles. so I'm in a healthy happy relationship with him.
الله يحفظكم لبعض يارب 🌷✨
On a single level it sounds a good idea, but as a society when we are also wanting women to make the same as men, it is destructive.
Remember, it is okay if you don't want to have a family. Never feel pressured to have children. If you can not take care of yourself, you damn well can't take care of a child. Take a look at everyone around you, they most likely had horrible parents. Look at the IPAD kids and disrespectful kids that are everywhere, that is what happens when you aren't ready for children. Not everyone is ready to have kids, and not everyone is made to have kids. If you are struggling with money or your mental health, do not even think about having kids, if you have a child in that state you will ruin their entire life. If you are bringing a child into this life you must be financially and emotionally prepared. If your kid has health problems or deformities, how will you pay for that if you don't have the money? Are you strong enough mentally to care for a physically disabled child for the rest of their life? Not all kids can take care of themselves if they have disabilities, you must be prepared to take care of them for the rest of your life, and you have to have the money to pay for someone to care for them when you are gone. Children are people, very expensive tiny people that take a lot of work. They deserve to have loving parents that will take care of them no matter what. You are bringing them into the world, they did not ask for this. My aunts child is in his early 40s and he is disabled, he can not speak, or walk, he has a motorized chair and his mother had to buy a van for him. She had to completely renovate her house to make it accessible to him. She is almost 60 and she is still caring for him. Now think about this, would you want to do that for your child? And do you have the money for that? If you answered no, then do not have kids. You can't choose if you want your kid to be healthy or not, things happen no matter how healthy you are. You need to be prepared for the worst. I'm disabled and my parents weren't prepared at all. My life has been living hell because I've had zero help my whole life. My mum abandoned me the day I was born and my working father had to take care of me. My grandmother watched me while my dad was at work. When he went to prison, I went back and fourth to other family members houses because no one wanted me. My father always struggled financially, especially after my mum cheated on him and took all of his money, then proceeded to get married and have a child she loves (she was divorced because she was cheating, she took her husbands money and ran off with another man again). I know a lot of people really want kids, but thing about your childs future. If you aren't prepared in every single way, they will suffer. Why would you bring life into this world knowing that they will suffer? Think about them, not you. Get a pet instead if you aren't mentally or financially stable.
You made me realise how much I was trying to prove by being masculine but I see now that I don’t have to be that for myself if I do find the right person
Underneath your video, they are recommending a bunch of incel and women hating videos. I am soo tired of these RUclips recommendations 😒
“Hypergamy” is a hugeeee topic talked within incel/red-pill/alpha male communities so it makes sense why the RUclips algorithm mixes in these videos. It’s just sad that we can’t separate the explained hypergamy from this video to the ones where it’s straight up misogynistic…
30M here. Ladies, a high value man will not tolerate a woman who disrespects him and herself. Work on what you bring to the relationship, without even considering sex. Work on yourself as a human being. Beauty is highly important, but what is the point of an empty book, even if the cover of the book looks good.
Nobody wants a p a je et
Preach brother
I've been studying chinese culture for the past 25 years and I have to say I 100% agree that this is "traditionally" the way things go. However, that came mostly in part from the fact women couldn't earn much money. They were staying home raising the kids. Nowaday, women are more educated and more and more earn their own money which inevitably redefine gender roles in a couple. Hypergamy make sense when you have to rely on someone else for your own needs. Less so when you depends on yourself. Also, higher status (and other "higher" thereins) means theses men/women have a lot of choices and thus it creates a stronger competition too. I'll also end this comments on the fact that divorce that was frowned upon in Chinese culture are also more and more a trend... there's something to learn there.
She literally said my money is my money and your money is our money. I wouldn’t let any of my brothers date a woman like that. We’re all well off.. but you get what you pay for and she’s advertising herself as she is. If the man wants to buy it don’t be surprised if and when she finds a higher bidder. There is always someone richer.
I've just subscribed! You've said everything I want to tell my daughter when she grows up.👍
If your partner fills the role of the provider, what role do you play that contributes to the relationship? There's nothing wrong with hypergamy. The problem arises when you expect the other person to his job but you don't do yours.
Yep this video only really covered the expectations for men and how the women should play into that as well as that this dynamic makes men strive for more money. What about the healthy dynamics between men and women and their future family? Sure she mentions perceived desirability and social status but I feel like that needed to be touched upon a bit more. It seems really unhealthy for men to prioritize and worry so much about being this huge wallet. Why is it so laughable when a man wants the roles reversed? Why aren’t we laughing at women right now is it only because of tradition? I’m not saying that hypergamy can’t work just that it can be problematic too.
So I have got a doubt so long,
If he gives me princess treatment shouldn't I give him a prince treatment . I'm not sure with this!!?
Heyy love ur channel ....❤
...and I love you ❤
@@itgirlplaybook Made my day... Love you..💞
I feel like what do you bring to the table for men is a valid question. Like if they are going to pay for you and protect you then are you worth paying for. Like when you are buying the product that cost a lot of money wouldn't you ask if it is the best product can I find something better. Is this worth my hard earn cash. Because for women it easier for them to tell if a man match their expecation because all they need to do is find out their job and how much money they make. For men they are looking for good wife material which is harder to find unless if they are looking for beauty.
It’s usually not a great question because they’re asking it for the wrong reasons. The most generous & loving men I’ve dated have never asked me that. The first & last time a man asked me that question our date lasted less than 20 minutes. It wasn’t because of that question but he was mad I was smiling a lot (which is something I always do) & was asking him questions back. He was also very proud of his accomplishments which he kept on talking about so why bring up your accomplishments and get annoyed when someone asks you about them? I was 21 & he was in his early 30s.
Thank you so much for book ❤❤❤ really grateful for your book❤❤and kindness
I love your channel so much
I'm so grateful. :)
Thank You Girl
You are doing a great service 💯❤️
I’m currently living in china and these all things are true ❤
AAAH THE QUEEN HAS POSTED!!!!🫨👉📱
this is so cute
love your videos! could you make a video on how to meet men like this? or how did you manage?
Summary: Bringing hotness to the table to 2 or more providers take her time (24 Hour).
IN MOROCCO A MAN SHOULD BE THE PROVIDER AND EVEN IF THE WOMAN IS WORKING SHE CHOSE WHERE TO PUT HER MONEY
No money no honey 😂
Tons of money got myself all the honey
Everyone wants to marry rich 🤑 but here’s the thing: rich people are in short supply. And they are not going to choose anybody. Furthermore, their own families will reject a daughter in law who just wants the money 💰 . Did you know that in Chinese law, if a spouse dies, then the spouse’s own parents will have inheritance rights and not the spouse’s spouse?
So, it is much easier to search for a relatively rich husband, not a super rich husband who makes enough to make you a housewife.
But that is hard to do too.
Why?
Girls are entering the university in droves and getting highly paid jobs. Finding a man who makes more than them is going to be very hard, and they will have to lower their expectations.
We can allow polygamy though, but this also means that the women have to compete for the man’s attention.
Either way, someone has to give.
everything has a price like this video told you. Now you make up your mind :)
All this hypergamy talk make sense if the girl is good looking, but what if the girl is average or even ugly?
Doesn’t matter. There’s a disproportionate ratio of men to women in China due to the consequences of the one-child policy (where families prioritized keeping boys over girls), ugly women still have the upper hand when it comes to the dating culture. The family will even try to get the girls under the knife if she’s too ugly so she can be of use to them and secure the bloodline.
HoefIation.
How does that work out for you in the US? It's more difficult for millennial men to have land here and pay for everything for his woman. The income gaps are not too much between women and men.
The result is population collapse. So be it.
Im inserting this in my brain forever, im way too hot to suffer and struggle with a dusty like
Hahahahaha…..I don’t know if you said this ask a joke but it’s funny😂😂
@cosette-angelface A charming abuser would pay not only for your first date but for your second as well.
I love your videos and you did such a good job on the Playbook Mini, I loved reading it ♡
May I ask what software you use for editing your videos? I'm looking for a software to practice on :)
Gurl. I just Love you.
This is in the filipino culture but with the influences of Passport bros Im sticking to Either you pay since you want to date me or i leave . Most of the time i leave than be with a cheap person
Chinese culture and Indian culture is very similar
And both suck when it comes to marriage
girly I feel you! I have taken an allergy test... turns out I'm DEADLY ALLERGIC to 50/50 dusty sassy men😪 Atleast now I know to avoid them at all cost, so all is well ;)
Hypergamy is a pretty interesting topic 🤔
I dated a guy that I met during classes. He payed for everything, and I felt like a prize and cared for. But not totally secure, he loved bombed, expected me topay back with s*x. And thank God he dumped me. But hypergamy isn't "accepted" I will apply it subtly. I don't want a Sugar Daddy, I want a husband.
this is sprinkle sprinkle ✨✨mindset no time for dusties
Women were not expected to pay because they didn’t work or have the same opportunities economically. That is the ideal behind it, but no longer applies. However now, they want to keep such tradition while forgoing any that do not benefit them.
Genuine question, in hypergamy in Chinese culture, do the men expect something in return for providing the money? Like, is there something specific the woman needs to provide as well or is there a certain way the woman needs to act/be?
Of course, women have to provide beauty. They work VERY hard on their appearance
Worked in China because of the circumstances. Circumstances are a little different here in the west. Many women here can’t afford to be as picky as in China because there isn’t a scarcity of women. Women want only the best men, which is natural and neither right nor wrong, but the math would indicate that only a select few women will get the top tier men. “High value” men are much fewer in numbers than “high value” women because men and women value different things in the other. Many women have the things that most men want. Very few men have the things that most women want.
I disagree with your point that hypergamy is fine and good. It’s just the way things worked out naturally because of the conditions and numbers. It’s supply and demand. Women will need to lower their standards unless they are willing and can be happy to share the top tier men with other women.
im chinese too loved this video xx
GIRL IM CHINESE TOO
my ex has no money and would tell me we cant go on dates bcs he cant but he really wants to. were still 17, its okay right? i paid many times and i helped him pay for a dog and i gave him money on his birthday.. it was honestly tiring but i know he had nothing. i mean hr could have been better because he goes out with his friends and has a car so obviiusly he has money but very little and im a person who likes to spend and eat i was too expemsive for him but he stayed with me bcs he loved me.
Love this.
For all the non chinese guys who got a chinese girl. They got it easy
It's not even a man/woman thing I think in general people should have high standards and men rn r desperate af & are available to any women. A woman might have 100 options while a man has 10 therefore it is natural for the woman to go with the best option.
Hiii!! Ily n ur videos, I really need advice frm you!!
Soo there's this guy, Harry who was very good to me, come up n tall to me always, always noticed even the smallest things abt me was my good friend until now.. I heard him telling his friends that he liked me.. But now there's a sudden shift.. In between he had joined some camp so we couldn't talk much... so since im an extrovert i started talking to othr guys as well n more specific ally with i guy named James tho we were just frnds in fact i treatee James like my brother.. But now ig Harry is jealous n so he doesn't talk much.. Instead now he talks to othr girls n back hugs them(gets close with them) ig he's doing all this just to make me jealous.. So, i didn't talk to him as well cause he was being too tochy with them tho he knew it would make me get angry..however recently we talked about our exam scores n stuff.. But we didn't talk anything personal like we used to do b4.. Since ig ik that he isn't talking to me cause he's jealous should i go n tell him tht James n I are not dating.. So tht we can talk like we used to do. I feel bad as he didn't confirm all this with me n simply started not to talk.. Lemme also give you some background.. I'm not boasting but everyone says tht I'm the prettiest.. So ig im the prettiest girl, well harry is quite handome too n i had a crush on him as well. Many people told me tht we looked good together n we should date n stuff.. So basically they shipped us.
So I wanna ask you if i should clear this misunderstanding.. Or leave it on him n continue not to talk..
Pls replyy 🙏🙏
Btw I'm a new subcriber.. Ur videos r very motivating n encouraging. I love ur positivity.. I hope u gain a lot more subscribers..❤❤
I do like the idea but how would that work in a queer relationship?
great question😭😭
There is nothing wrong with this idea in the 1800s, where the labor pool was mostly man, and human labor is still a major means of production. With woman entering the work force, and Ai obsoleting human labor, your pool is not only small, but unrealistic. I get it and agree that man needs to have a job that he is serious about. But your idea is base off an obsolete context.
Concept of Hypergamy dating sucks! Love should be the ONLY reason for people to get married. If you're not doing financially well, then both should wait until they get better financially in order to get married or both should get married & work hard together to get financial independence.
And one more thing, people don't always want kids after marriage. Many couples choose to be childfree after marriage. So marrying someone just because of financial or social status is absolutely not necessary!
Hypergamy dating should end in asian countries. Both men & women should be financially independent & get married because of Love.
Advice like hypergamy dating is only deluding some women into thinking men will be enamored with them forever....If the only thing you bring to the table is quenching his lust while he provides luxury, things might not turn out the way you want it to once you get older. Women who "seduce" men who can give them riches don't realize these men KNOW what they are doing: they want you when you're 21 but when you're 40, you're washed up to them. That's why you shouldn't rely on a man, build something for yourself so you have something to fall on. Find someone you love and someone who loves you for YOU. The rich have choices and you aren't special.
Ladies just go to mainland China and try to date guys there
Induced hypergamy is not a bad guess from yours. (7:40) However, as the biggest growing economy china is, no one would be suprised because the man puts down work for the economy, mainly industrial effort (metal, energy, etc. - ). If a man now wants a woman, he has to join the rat race. All now favoring the chineese gov. There is little emphasis on the family in comparison, as you stated. Chineese families in the united states have consistently changed their attitude they otherwise had when lived in china. These cultural induced traits wear out after 4-5 generations - they become more american.
Imagin being 30 and not owning a house in California LOL....
Sounds so ideal until you found out about how the wife will be scrutinized if they ever divorced "do you let yourself go?" " "did you do anything that made him leave?"
Hypergamy dating itself is utter nonsense. So there's no need for any further discussions.
Hi I love this video but can u make video on anok yai mentality
I don’t know ay….I do agree that men have to be capable of doing those things the very least and someone that they can rely upon. However, 😂😂 what about something more grounded than materialistic?😂😂 I mean….yea, I’m broke cause of college debts and all but doesn’t it make sense to just love people for who they are rather than what they could provide ?? Or is that too humane???😂😂😂😂like I said …I do not know….times are different😂😂😂I was just laughing throughout the whole video …not cause I found it funny but it’s realistically satire😂😌😂😂😂😂
By the way, even if I’m broke and all I do try and pay for things if I’m interested 😂
China went through harsh regimes under Mao Zedong and he only died in the 70s. Theoretically, if you have Chinese relatives living through his regime, they’d still be alive today to live to tell the tale. Women were expected to be homemakers and take care of the children while the men do the manual labor and bring in the (little) money. And this dynamic worked for them and they’ve survived Mao’s regime that way. Also you also have to think about the One-Child policy that recently ended too; many Chinese families tried for a boy so the boy can work alongside his father and aid him. Girls were tossed. You are now seeing the consequences of this policy in their hypergamy culture: a competitive dating scene where women get the upper hand because there are too many men and not enough women to produce the next generation. So, of course, to secure your bloodline, women seek for only the best out of the huge sea of men and even their families encourage women to do this. If a man can’t provide for her, how will he be able to provide for their future kids and secure the bloodline? She can easily find someone else. This explanation is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Asian dating culture btw, it’s much more deeper.
@@julietdang wow that just sounds harsh and exhausting to both parties and a little discriminatory. But hey, if it worked for em.
What would you say is the solution?
@@Nastydollars
A man can either: play the game, opt out of marriage (his parents will disown him with suspicions that he’s gay), or find a wife abroad (high chances of them being discriminatory towards the wife). So any way, he’s walking on eggshells.
A woman can either: play the game, opt out (family will disown her and call her a 剩女, which loosely translates to “leftover woman”, which is basically a slur for unmarried woman beyond 25 years old), or marry abroad (she won’t get that much flak if she does this, as long as she’s married, he can provide for her and the entire family, and they have offsprings).
There isn’t an easy fix for this situation unfortunately because the situation goes way beyond surface level at this point.
@@julietdang but this is solely practiced in china right? Do you believe this sort of lifestyle is better?
Its turu, in many cultures the man is so much of a provider and protector that he is likely to have multiple wives and offspring with them as well. As no highly valuable man is only going to have a few children, but possibly dozens, if that is his personal preference or goal in life.
中国的文化也在发生变化 aa制并不少见
This is so materialistic on so many levels…
💋✨💅
Womem are just this. This is all them are.
@Kitty_missss Good luck with materialism when your body’s expired ✨💅
And?
remember, with money you can buy objects ;)
11:47 oh boy Moroccan women i knew have men buying them gold and cars😂😂
So being nice, working for 6 figures will not even get you a date then. 😂
So you just admitted that you have a price….
I'm going to China to find a husband
My money is my money and his money is our money that you quoted says it all. Good luck finding rich chad
But WHAT do you bring to the table? 😂
🐱🐟
Thank you
Ok but you're mid, so what do you bring to a relationship
Doesn’t really matter what she brings; she’d still get lots of marriage proposals due to the disproportionate ratio of men to women due to the consequences of the one-child policy that ended less than a decade ago. The dating scene is men trying to prove their prospective wives that they’re better than the next guy.
@@julietdang No wonder Chinese women are moving to Africa. Chinese dating market must be brutal.
This is some red pill brain rot right here. I want a "provider" dog whistle for I want a walking atm.
This is the first time I've heard there is a word for having a realistic and pragmatic view of dating. I'm a new subscriber now, and forgive me if I missed it, but I don't see other videos on this. Would you be able to make a video on how to do this and where to look because I need to be realistic here 😅🫰
even in African culture , a woman is expected to date and marry up... even befor the marriage is finalized , the man has to show proof of funs and his ability to protect
@@sundaylibre i guess it depend on ur culture but in mine.. a man would rather die that ask his wife for money....marrying a man beneath u financially and socially as a woman does only get u labeled as cheap but also ur parents .. ur mom will be mocked for not rasing their child with proper values and dad for not giving a proper example of a provider
@@sundaylibrethis is false. Have you been to Nigeria?? My own mother lived this life?!.
@@femmefatale71 Lmfao does your mother represent Africa? Many, if not most African women end up with men who treat them as servants while not providing for the families needs nor the woman. Some luck out and end up with good men who pamper them but it's not common