I love how you shamelessly say positive things about yourself, like ''Screw you guys, I'm an orchid'' or ''I'm am absolutely delightful on camera''! Wish more people had the guts to do so.
I finally had the confidence to talk to my GP about maybe having asperges... only to be met with " you don't strike me as someone with Asperges" ... well thank you. You don't strike me as a KNOB but.. here we are. 🤣
Women tend to be more socialised so it's less noticeable. And to be honest, "You don't seem autistic" is less offensive than "You don't look autistic". "You don't seem to be/come across as autistic." = you don't seem to be socially awkward or shy or introverted. "You don't look autistic." = "You don't look like a moron. I'm not invalidating your experience and you have a right to feel how you feel, but I'm just saying.
15 years ago I was told I don't look like I have aspergers. I was an idiot and settled for that answer. About 8 months ago I had another go, and now I have my diagnosis. I'll not go into it, but the meantime was quite bad.
"You don't have to hate yourself for having a weakness." This was exactly what I needed to hear today, in the midst of an anxiety/shame spiral. Thanks.
I was diagnosed as a teen because of my “meltdowns”. I was never really told it mattered because I was high functioning.I never thought so many of the things I thought was “Normal” for all isn’t that usual. 😂
You spoke of bringing a whole room to silence by saying something that you thought was funny. For what it's worth, I think that you have a very clever sense of humor. Don't let the fear of not being understood, keep you from expressing your humor. B.
My ex husband used to wonder why I didn't laugh out loud very often (I do when real life humans are being funny--sometimes). Once we saw a program where someone said while pointing to their chest, "I'm laughing in here." I'd always said that. Once it made it into a TV program, he made it his own joke. He finally caught on that I did find things humorous... I just laugh on the inside most of the time. When I'm being funny and people don't laugh, they just might be autistic, they might laugh on the inside--not my business. I can still enjoy myself. (And I do know how to be funny because I've given humor workshops and talks where humor was the point and so had to be funny. I just don't take it personally if no one laughs in my day to day.)
I told a joke at the dinner table the other evening. Silence! My wife just looked at me, but when I turned towards my daughter, she was laughing silently so hard that tears were involved. I'd say she has my sense of humour :D By the way, the joke came after our dog made a very high-pitched whine. I said something about building an ultrasonic cleaner with her.
Some of my favourite conversations are the ones where I listen to other people chatting and I’m quietly knitting in the corner just taking it all in. 😁
Yo Samdy Sam on the contrary. i totally agree. (might be biased, though...) but a finnish author actually got in pc trouble for saying that out loud before. :D
I am half Finn and grew up in Thunder Bay, apparently the highest population of Finns outside Finland. I can confirm that, especially in the chatty ness areas and answering questions, etc. Finnish people *in general* resemble autistic people. They tend towards truly thinking about what you’ve said, and what would be the most comprehensive answer to give. This can take longer than most people usually take in replying, but it’s because we actually care about the answer we’re giving. IMO, not a bad trait at all.
Laughing at myself. An extended family member knew I was quite confident at a young age, but the autism diagnosis made sense for other reasons. The other day she wondered if my autism contributed to my confidence once out of school and working. Nearly dying a few times and being successful at things I did at work (even if I had some social problems) proved to me that I had talents that were useful and I knew what I could do... I knew what my super powers were. And was painfully aware of my executive functioning issues, but every human has something and my executive functioning issues and other autistic challenges are my something to work around... literally finding work arounds. I've always said, "I'm tap dancing as fast as I can." And my persistence with that also gave me a lot of confidence. It's true. We're orchids. You have to work to find the skills you love to use and then try to sell yourself based on that. I learned to never put anything on my resume that I hated doing. It didn't matter if I did it well, I didn't want people hiring me for that.
I LOVE that you made the orchid analogy because I’m obsessed with gardening and that really made me feel better. I don’t get upset with my maidenhair fern for wilting in bright light and dry dirt; I give it a darker spot and more water. :)
Me living in London for the past three years: oh shit, I might be autistic. Going on holidays in Finland with Finnish partner. Me in 2020: Ok, Let's move there.
I'm a new subscriber, and I'm not leaving 😉. I've learned alot from your videos. I'm undiagnosed but I really think that I may be autistic and am considering seeing a psychologist for a proper exam and diagnosis. So many things about me from childhood and currently that I couldn't understand are beginning to make sense in terms of autism. Thanks for being a transparent and safe place for learning and growing with autism. 💚
So they’re grateful for your podcasts. And simple and plain English, you Demystify all the confusion in my life. At age 61, it is nice to know there is light at the end of the tunnel and it is not a freight train.
Hey Sam! Can you make a video on "when we tell our parents/family we are Autistic" i just told my mom i have Autism and she totally freaked out and said she wants to see it written on paper etc. I felt like crying and felt like she may be right. But then i said to myself she is just in denial of her daughter possibly being autistic. And i get that but she didn't have to be rude about it. Forthe longest time it's been so hard for me to be "normal" or part of this society. I just wish there was a way to get the diagnosis i need to prove to my family i am autistic.
I also told my step mom that I believe I am autistic, and she called me a hypochondriac she's like "just because your shy doesn't mean you're autistic" that really hurt pretty bad as she has abolustely no idea what is truly going on inside 😞 I have already spoke to my therapist about it as their are many co occurring issues that I am presently fighing on a physchological level such as trauma and abuse from my past and such, as well- which can be confused as just trauma rather than autism.
My dad studied psychology in grad school and has a masters degree in psychology. He isn’t practicing psychology though. Over thanksgiving he told me that he thinks he is autistic and said he thinks I am too. He gave me the AQ test he had from when he studied psychology and autism and we both scored as high autistic traits or whatever it is. With my husband we were watching a training video about autism and the person was talking about burnout and another about sensory stimulation and I just said “I feel like that all the time.” I told my best friend and she said “my other friend was just diagnosed and maybe I am too.” She isn’t, but has social anxiety and is very understanding. I told another friend and she was just like “well you married to perfect man because I’ve seen him work with autistic kids and he is very patient and seems to know just what to do.” I didn’t take offense to that because I agree. I’ve been very lucky to have supportive people around me. It helps that they have accepted their own something, be it autism, anxiety, trauma, etc. I’m sorry your mom isn’t supportive. I hope that changes for you.
@@sugoiharris1348 hello hun since posting that comment my mother sadly passed away on December 2nd 2020 from stage 4 lung cancer. I was diagnosed with Autism and adhd last June 2021. It's definitely been a roller c oaster ride of emotions and feelings. Especially when my mom passed. She was only 65. Cancer sux big time.
Omg that thing about Finnland being a whole country of autistic people is so true, I've actually thought about that before :D My best friend is Finnish and at first I thought it was just her, but then I went to visit her and pretty much everyone I met was like that, like so direct and discussing any issues that come up instead of being passive aggressive and vague, and talking about anything like there's no social taboos (also, oversharing a lot. seriously haha the things my friend has told me...I never knew a conversation could get so personal :D) but they also weren't judgmental at all, I felt like I could be as weird and quirky as I wanted to be and they'd just be like 'yep, that's just who she is.' (not that I want to stereotype, I'm sure there's also a lot of people in Finnland who aren't like that, I'm just saying this was my experience with pretty much everyone I met)
New subscriber here thanks to a RUclips recommendation! Stayed for the amazing content!! I originally watched to see if my daughter had it but am slowly realizing and coming to terms with the fact that I might very well have it and when I did the quiz you posted it said there was a strong possibility. I relate to 99% of your content and thought everyone was like this to be honest! In a bit of a shock but also feeling relieved 😌. Thank you ❤️
Sam I feel, looking back, that I was often taken advantage of, by people I thought where friends, I can't bare to see anyone in need or struggling and I'm driven to help them, but often it was to my detriment, it might make a good video to talk about how to protect ourselves from being taken advantage of. Love your videos. Thank you 💖
I go to an adult day program 3 days a week and I'm able to be myself there. Everyone there has a mental illness including some other people with autism. I feel right at home at first I didn't but I've been going for a little over 5 years. PS wow you're pushing 8.5k now not quite there yet but pretty close.
Love your vids. After years of pondering, my conclusion: build the world that feels good for you around you, not allow the world to make you fit. BTW I'm Mr Faux Pas - I now accept it.
Holidays are ROUGH, even for neurotypicals, I have felt so exhausted and frustrated, and helpless. So sorry you felt you had to put out content. Always feel comfortable taking breaks whether for yourself or pleasure. We will always be here when you get back. Your content is definitely the best autistic woman content I've seen on RUclips but dont feel each video has to be perfect. There is such little women autistic content in general much less on RUclips. For me the content is content. It helps me to feel less alone and validated in the struggles of simply existing. And I thank you so much for that but I'd rather have less consistent videos so that you can recover from RUclips and life. Remember there are hundreds of silent happy content people for every 1 negative comment. ❤❤❤ happy holidays. Take care.
I’ve only just discovered your channel in the last couple of days, but find what you do to be really insightful and well presented. You’ve got a talent for it - the humor and positivity are really helpful too, thank you so much!
Oh yes the orchid part is so true. My personal hell was school or jobs where I would have to do the same repetitive task over and over again. In those environments, I would become depressed or violent. But the minute I enter a good environment, like grad school or my apartment I excel. I know that I would've saved years of suicidal violent thoughts if I would've dropped out of school
I find it fascinating that as much as I’ve seen people who think like me, I actually am blown away that aspies on the inside thinks so similar. But as a man - I’m fascinated how I feel far more attachment to females. I can never repay you. I understand because your brain is me. You’ve let meet me. 💕
12:52 Suomi mainittu suaatana 😂 Good stuff, I gotta try to binge this channel when I get the time. Currently learning Orchid lifestyle, working in mismatch field, gonna make changes necessary to find my own habitat.
Congrats on the 5K+ subs! I have been enjoying watching all these topics and its amazing just how many things I relate to as someone with Autism. I have genuinely learned a lot watching your videos and your videos are perfect for explaining autism to someone who wouldn't know much or anything about it. Thank you so far, I got a few videos to watch still but its been great watching them 😀
I think that that is what we all have in common: to think that something is wrong with us. And in the end we're only more or less slightly different. It just turns me mad if people, who don't have the slightest idea, give a rather unpleasant judgement.
what to do when you've masked all your life so that now you don't even know anymore who you really are? I have several masks which I switch depending on the person I'm with or the environment I'm in (work, gatherings, daily routines like grocery shopping etc etc etc). Sometimes I feel like I'm masking even when I'm all by myself.
I only found your channel 1 or 2 days ago. So this might seem strange to say...but u already have changed my life. U also look like me somehow and your energy as well. I asked my husband and he agrees. I really appreciate you and your content. Ok bye I go now to watch the rest of your videos😊 I'm from Belgium by the way. Xxx
I had been suspecting for about two years that I might have autistic traits but didn't really look too much into it until, about a year ago when I started to really delved into the world of autism and what it truly is, how it affects people and how it presents itself. The more I learned the more I wanted to know and so I came across a few RUclips channels discussing autism. One in particular really hooked me in as the content was presented so well and I found myself able to relate to the signs and the challenges autistic people have in a neurotypical world. That channel brought me to yours and must say that I relate so completely to everything you say and present on your channel. Autism explains everything for me. I identify 100% with all your content and with virtually all the comments I read. I finally feel like I belong somewhere in the world of humans. I finally feel like I'm okay and not a failed human. I feel like I'm not alone and can so easily relate with the autistic community. I am not diagnosed however, I will be beginning the process very soon and you have definitely helped me gain the confidence with your content, that I know I need to pursue this avenue and not be deterred by the potential dismissiveness I may encounter with some professionals. Thank you so much for being you and for your content. It is such a relief to finally after 47 turns around the sun, feel like I'm actually okay as I am and feel like there is a place in the world of humans for me. That I'm not a displaced animal trapped in human form.
Just found your channel you're awesome i was only diagnosed with aspergers recently i only make scenxe of my life watching videos like yours love you iewally like you're channel and you
Wow. As of writing this, the channel is at 101k subs. I'll go look to see if there's a 100k sub video! Thanks for venturing into making videos on autism. It really helps me to find a way to relate to someone.
I've definitely suffered from low self esteem in the past, even now I can do something that is generally accepted to be pretty tough and act like - "it can't be that hard if I can do it".
I visited my family for the fourth (america) and it was so validating to spend time with my siblings I hadn't seen in years who are both self diagnosed asd (myself too). Just unmasked and honest for the first time in years with people I knew would understand me
Found your channel this week and love your content been spending a lot of time on the channel! Working to find out if I'm on the spectrum or not but a lot of what's being shared hits home with me.
Ms Sam! Masking ... Meltdowns ... Masking meltdowns ... And part Danish. I am beginning the process of formal diagnosis, and it's sweet assurance to hear you tell my story while telling yours. You assure me that I do have a tribe--a tribe of Orchids! "Tusen hjertelig takk for alt!" (I'm part Norsk and lived there a couple years when younger. 🇳🇴)
I recently found your channel and I want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH! I've always felt a little different to my peers but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I'm a 37 year old female and I have a friend whose teenage daughter is autistic whom I found myself relating so much to, so I had a discussion with my friend and she told me that she could definitely see a lot of the same traits her daughter was displaying in me throughout my life (we've known each other for 30 years). I dove deep into researching autism, and while I haven't been formally diagnosed, I can say that I am 100% convinced that I am autistic. Your videos have made me so much more comfortable with being "different" and taken the stigma away from "the A word". Please keep doing what you do...you've no idea how much you're helping people like me!
It seems you have 8000 subscribers now! And I'm delighted to be able to subscribe and view your videos. Be nice to yourself as you receive mean comments, they just come with the territory. Thanks for the videos!!
Congrats on blowing up. This is the first video im around for uploading. Subscribed literally yesterday. You made me realise i might need to get tested after my 18th birthday cause my grandparents would scoff at the idea of something being 'wrong' with me and that i should just get on with it. Anyway, i thank you.
The Scandinavian Christmas is cozy, indeed! I'm Norwegian. Got diagnosed yesterday, at age 22. So, I plan on informing my family prior to Christmas. I love the time, but it tends to be an ordeal to spend time at my parents' place (I'm always accused of being "too sensitive", "too particular", "too hung up on principle", etc.) I'd say, yes, I'm glad I live in Norway. There are still struggles, but I suppose I would do worse socially if I lived in the States, the UK, etc.
I am about to start the formal process of diagnosis. Luckily it's not too bad in NZ, but this channel has really helped in a multitude of ways. Thanks.
Hey maybe it's not a coincidence that shortly after I got super into Finland and decided I want to live there after just watching countless RUclips videos on the country, I started really suspecting I'm autistic. Not diagnosed, but seemingly more and more likely the more I learn
With having an extra chromosome, I've always wondered if I had autism too. I can't be lucky enough to have basically no issues while having trisomy 23. Seeing your past videos today made me far more curious about the possibility of why I am the way I am. So, thank you for putting this information out there.
OMG as an Italian autistic woman who has been in Finland for a semester and obviously loved it, I cracked up at "if you go to Finland there is a whole country of autistic people there" XD
Don't apologize for not feeling up to something or feeling like we won't watch. I think most of your viewers are either autistic or have autistic loved ones. We get it. You do you, that's what we're here for ;) (Edit: but thank you for being so open about not feeling up to it. Due to masking for years I also still need to learn how to say, no, I can't or won't do this right now. I need to do something else or just be on my own for a bit. Not everyone gets this.)
I just found you and am bingeing. I have been aware that I was on the spectrum but still always try to understand more and your videos are putting together a bunch of pieces that I had not quite been able to piece together. Thanks for your videos.
I'm awaiting diagnosis at the age of nearly 50. I don't know how to 'surround myself with autistic people' or people who understand me. I'm so afraid of people now.
This video made me realize how literal I can be in conversations. I feel like I used to mask a whole lot more than what I do now. I’m 32 years old and I feel more comfortable in my skin. However, I do run into social situations where my communication isn’t there. I’m an optician and I remember this patient asking me if I had a boyfriend & I said yes and he asked me if it was serious. I took that literal and I was like no it’s not serious we’re taking it slow and it’s very relaxed. And then I said “i’m seriously in a relationship” 😂 😅 Then I realized later that it’s a figure of speak what he asked LOL
Holy moly you’ve got 21.7k subs now!! Pretty cool. I found you in 2019 and it has really been life altering for me. I’ve been loving the new understanding I have for myself and finally feel like I have a clue how I work.
I think you're a wonderful human being and I love your videos. It takes a lot of courage to talk about it on RUclips. You do help me a lot, you can be proud of yourself 💜 I does require much strength for autistic people and a lot of energy. I do think I'm hypersensitive to a point it gets scary to other people and myself but it's okay to have weaknesses. Everybody does, we're only humans and we do need support. It's hard to ask but some nice people are willing to help and it's really wonderful. There are lots of strengths of being an aspie and remember, the only person you need to compare yourself is... Yourself. Talk to yourself like you would do to young kids and try and be your best friend. Easier said than done, but we're on this planet to learn and improve, right? The hardest thing I have to deal with is other people's judgement or my own judgement but it's slowly getter better. My personal struggle is to try and stay away from toxic people who tell me I talk too much and pinpoint my weaknesses or project their angst against me, it really hurts. The French culture isn't helping at all and I hope it changes for the best. One friend told me the only person I was going to spend the rest of my life was going to be myself, so we'd better get on 😊 Dropping the mask and surrounding yourself with the right people is a great advice but yes, relax, it takes time. Thank you for sharing your amazing videos!
Thank you for your videos. I'm a junior doctor in the UK (although not a psychiatrist!!) and I've found the things you've said in a number of your videos very helpful (more helpful than some of my previous psychiatrists which is more than a little concerning). It's made me do a lot of introspection and I've had to take some time off work to process it but I suspect I may be an autistic adult who masks. It's very clear to me now that autistic people with this phenotype cannot recognise themselves properly in the criteria for diagnosis and that that's particularly concerning given we tend to be particularly good at pattern analysis. I'm having a lot of thoughts at the moment but I wanted to say thank you.
I think to add to what you said about owning your talents I think in addition it’s about framing a group of talents that make sense to you and focus on that as a group and then start adding one group to another. Obviously there are the difficulties we are aware of and there are the difficulties that other NT people identify that are outside our awareness or even if we do become aware by someone telling us that we won’t understand what the issue is and should I fix it
ASD and in the US. It is difficult even in the relatively isolated area that i live in. not to mention certain family members that basically ignore the reality that i’m not like them.
Thank you for sharing every week your experience. Because of you I will meet a psychologist for the first time. Thank you for letting me fully understand that I don't have to struggle faking everyday. I genuinely know my mind and my way of thinking have always been different. Since I was 3. I just had this feeling (which was huge when I was a little girl, like feeling confused, lost - I'm 21 Now and is more like frustrating) of me not comprehending something, that I missed something important, when talking with other humans and when I have to do practical things that I just don't understand (ex: my concept of order is really alien I think). I am really scared. I have always been scared I think, but I used to mask my mind so Now it is the first time I cannot stand the mask anymore and I feel like I CAN ask for help. I am scared that physicians will make me feel just as I feel with others. I am afraid to hear the classical "I don't understand" or "you seem getting confused" (when I am NOT) or "try to explain your feeling and thoughts in a better way" (when I am just describing what I see in my mind and how I feel) or "be more concrete" (when I feel I am the only one being REAL). I hope you can help me with some things I don't know about the dynamics of the diagnosis or just give me more little informations because it is Now a month that I cannot change topic in my mind. My mother thinks I am crazy and looks at me in the same way I used to be looked when I was younger and being myself. But this time it is not just my super curiosity plus hyperfocus, but it is about me talking about me for the first time. I feel like in a dream (like in my shutdowns, when I feel so embarassed after a meltdown in public or after a violent reaction with my family And I feel like I am hallucinating). I used to spend my energy in hiding my "dimension". What Now? How? But mostly..what if I am not on the spectrum - am I psychotic??
Yo Samdy Sam there could be 100 people on your next live stream. You'll have to explain you won't have time to read every comment. I'm sorry Samdy going back before your first live stream. I was worried that you would find it hard with people throwing loads of random question at you. I have a admit I was wrong. You do cope with lots if random topic being ask. I've been live stream bad once. Your hasn't been bad yet. Don't now have a meltdown on livestream and prove me wrong again.
I stumbled upon your channel a few days ago and I really like your videos. Thank you for doing what you do. You are giving people a voice! I just subscribed and now it’s showing 25k subscribers. Maybe I’m the 25,000th?! 😃
I think our mental health systems need serious modernization and total reboot. So much of it creates problems out of issues that aren’t things to “fix” they are just traits that need better management and healthy strategies for healthy expression.
I realized my chameleon tendencies years ago, but this makes sense that it’s a masking thing. I do it unconsciously by now (39) and it would be quite the struggle to try dropping the mask. Actually I’ve tried something that might be the same thing and it hasn’t gone well. Haha haha! I’m half Finnish, and honestly think the autism comes from both sides. Probably why it was so hard for all us kids.
Around 12:37 ... I was very surprised to hear you say that about Finland. I was born and raised there, so I'm fairly familiar with the place. Interestingly, I don't know if I ever would have looked at it the same way as you, but that makes so much sense! I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, but I'm feeling a strong kinship with the Autistic world. Or maybe I was under-diagnosed.
I found your comment on how Scandinavian culture is much more autistic friendly, I have the same impression with UK compared to Brazil. Not only the culture, but the weather too. In Brazil I think we are over competitive and have little respect for personal boundaries, it is common for people to touch you without asking first, the hot weather is particularly unpleasant. Here in the UK I fell my boundaries are more respected without me having to ask or worry if people will be offended if I ask for boundaries. The colder weather is also definitely a plus, no unpleasant heat or sweating
I moved to Finland from South America many years ago. The amount of spectrumy people I've met here is astronomical, at least compared to the place where I grew up in.
I love how you shamelessly say positive things about yourself, like ''Screw you guys, I'm an orchid'' or ''I'm am absolutely delightful on camera''! Wish more people had the guts to do so.
I finally had the confidence to talk to my GP about maybe having asperges... only to be met with " you don't strike me as someone with Asperges" ... well thank you. You don't strike me as a KNOB but.. here we are. 🤣
Jade Howard why do people insist on telling me how I feel and think
Women tend to be more socialised so it's less noticeable. And to be honest, "You don't seem autistic" is less offensive than "You don't look autistic".
"You don't seem to be/come across as autistic." = you don't seem to be socially awkward or shy or introverted.
"You don't look autistic." = "You don't look like a moron.
I'm not invalidating your experience and you have a right to feel how you feel, but I'm just saying.
@@rochelle_johnston2703 because it makes their world and world view easier to handle if they have some semblance of control.
15 years ago I was told I don't look like I have aspergers. I was an idiot and settled for that answer. About 8 months ago I had another go, and now I have my diagnosis. I'll not go into it, but the meantime was quite bad.
Arse holes hey
"You don't have to hate yourself for having a weakness." This was exactly what I needed to hear today, in the midst of an anxiety/shame spiral. Thanks.
I was diagnosed as a teen because of my “meltdowns”. I was never really told it mattered because I was high functioning.I never thought so many of the things I thought was “Normal” for all isn’t that usual. 😂
You spoke of bringing a whole room to silence by saying something that you thought was funny. For what it's worth, I think that you have a very clever sense of humor. Don't let the fear of not being understood, keep you from expressing your humor.
B.
Thank you!
My ex husband used to wonder why I didn't laugh out loud very often (I do when real life humans are being funny--sometimes). Once we saw a program where someone said while pointing to their chest, "I'm laughing in here." I'd always said that. Once it made it into a TV program, he made it his own joke. He finally caught on that I did find things humorous... I just laugh on the inside most of the time. When I'm being funny and people don't laugh, they just might be autistic, they might laugh on the inside--not my business. I can still enjoy myself. (And I do know how to be funny because I've given humor workshops and talks where humor was the point and so had to be funny. I just don't take it personally if no one laughs in my day to day.)
It took my now boyfriend 7 years to realize when I was being silly so you are doing better than me. :P
I told a joke at the dinner table the other evening. Silence! My wife just looked at me, but when I turned towards my daughter, she was laughing silently so hard that tears were involved. I'd say she has my sense of humour :D
By the way, the joke came after our dog made a very high-pitched whine. I said something about building an ultrasonic cleaner with her.
@@Whateverhasbeenmynameforyears Well, congrats to you and your boyfriend, for persintency :)
Some of my favourite conversations are the ones where I listen to other people chatting and I’m quietly knitting in the corner just taking it all in. 😁
I’m almost 50 and I still shrink when people notice me, lol. Thank you again for sharing your knowledge and understanding.
i'm finnish (and autistic) and that comment made me chuckle.
Haha but am I wrong? 😁
Yo Samdy Sam on the contrary. i totally agree. (might be biased, though...) but a finnish author actually got in pc trouble for saying that out loud before. :D
I am half Finn and grew up in Thunder Bay, apparently the highest population of Finns outside Finland. I can confirm that, especially in the chatty ness areas and answering questions, etc. Finnish people *in general* resemble autistic people. They tend towards truly thinking about what you’ve said, and what would be the most comprehensive answer to give. This can take longer than most people usually take in replying, but it’s because we actually care about the answer we’re giving. IMO, not a bad trait at all.
neulasia hi!! Me too :) finnish and autistic
@@tiiaj7589 Port Arthur or Fort William? 🤔
Has the Hoito been saved?
Laughing at myself. An extended family member knew I was quite confident at a young age, but the autism diagnosis made sense for other reasons. The other day she wondered if my autism contributed to my confidence once out of school and working. Nearly dying a few times and being successful at things I did at work (even if I had some social problems) proved to me that I had talents that were useful and I knew what I could do... I knew what my super powers were. And was painfully aware of my executive functioning issues, but every human has something and my executive functioning issues and other autistic challenges are my something to work around... literally finding work arounds. I've always said, "I'm tap dancing as fast as I can." And my persistence with that also gave me a lot of confidence.
It's true. We're orchids. You have to work to find the skills you love to use and then try to sell yourself based on that. I learned to never put anything on my resume that I hated doing. It didn't matter if I did it well, I didn't want people hiring me for that.
I LOVE that you made the orchid analogy because I’m obsessed with gardening and that really made me feel better. I don’t get upset with my maidenhair fern for wilting in bright light and dry dirt; I give it a darker spot and more water. :)
Me living in London for the past three years: oh shit, I might be autistic.
Going on holidays in Finland with Finnish partner.
Me in 2020: Ok, Let's move there.
Comparing it to a left handed person using right handed can opener is genius! I'm left handed and autstic and is exactly like that! On point!
"If you go to Finland, there's a whole country of autistic people there!" Ok good to know I'm not autistic, just Finnish 😂😂🇫🇮🇫🇮
I actually moved to Finland from another country and man is it a relief? IT SURE AS HELL IS 🤣
Wow
@@minh_bui Yeeeh
I dont understand if thats complimentary or derogatry
I'm a new subscriber, and I'm not leaving 😉. I've learned alot from your videos. I'm undiagnosed but I really think that I may be autistic and am considering seeing a psychologist for a proper exam and diagnosis. So many things about me from childhood and currently that I couldn't understand are beginning to make sense in terms of autism. Thanks for being a transparent and safe place for learning and growing with autism. 💚
09:35 'Practise letting down your mask piece by piece in safe places... dropping the mask and being your authentic self is a confidence booster' ❤
“Own your weaknesses, and cut yourself some slack” - SamdySam 2019
That’s probably the best advice I’ve ever heard when it comes to autism.
Thank you.
Thanks for posting these videos, it isn't easy having autism and to have someone who shows us we're not alone. Thank you
Well done! You deserve all the attention you’re getting!
Thanks for what you do. It’s been a wonderful experience to see another human I can really relate to.
So they’re grateful for your podcasts. And simple and plain English, you Demystify all the confusion in my life. At age 61, it is nice to know there is light at the end of the tunnel and it is not a freight train.
Hey Sam! Can you make a video on "when we tell our parents/family we are Autistic" i just told my mom i have Autism and she totally freaked out and said she wants to see it written on paper etc. I felt like crying and felt like she may be right. But then i said to myself she is just in denial of her daughter possibly being autistic. And i get that but she didn't have to be rude about it. Forthe longest time it's been so hard for me to be "normal" or part of this society. I just wish there was a way to get the diagnosis i need to prove to my family i am autistic.
It is very hard to talk to family about this. I will try to do something about that soon.
I also told my step mom that I believe I am autistic, and she called me a hypochondriac she's like "just because your shy doesn't mean you're autistic" that really hurt pretty bad as she has abolustely no idea what is truly going on inside 😞
I have already spoke to my therapist about it as their are many co occurring issues that I am presently fighing on a physchological level such as trauma and abuse from my past and such, as well- which can be confused as just trauma rather than autism.
My dad studied psychology in grad school and has a masters degree in psychology. He isn’t practicing psychology though. Over thanksgiving he told me that he thinks he is autistic and said he thinks I am too. He gave me the AQ test he had from when he studied psychology and autism and we both scored as high autistic traits or whatever it is. With my husband we were watching a training video about autism and the person was talking about burnout and another about sensory stimulation and I just said “I feel like that all the time.” I told my best friend and she said “my other friend was just diagnosed and maybe I am too.” She isn’t, but has social anxiety and is very understanding. I told another friend and she was just like “well you married to perfect man because I’ve seen him work with autistic kids and he is very patient and seems to know just what to do.” I didn’t take offense to that because I agree.
I’ve been very lucky to have supportive people around me. It helps that they have accepted their own something, be it autism, anxiety, trauma, etc.
I’m sorry your mom isn’t supportive. I hope that changes for you.
@@sugoiharris1348 hello hun since posting that comment my mother sadly passed away on December 2nd 2020 from stage 4 lung cancer. I was diagnosed with Autism and adhd last June 2021. It's definitely been a roller c oaster ride of emotions and feelings. Especially when my mom passed. She was only 65. Cancer sux big time.
Omg that thing about Finnland being a whole country of autistic people is so true, I've actually thought about that before :D My best friend is Finnish and at first I thought it was just her, but then I went to visit her and pretty much everyone I met was like that, like so direct and discussing any issues that come up instead of being passive aggressive and vague, and talking about anything like there's no social taboos (also, oversharing a lot. seriously haha the things my friend has told me...I never knew a conversation could get so personal :D) but they also weren't judgmental at all, I felt like I could be as weird and quirky as I wanted to be and they'd just be like 'yep, that's just who she is.'
(not that I want to stereotype, I'm sure there's also a lot of people in Finnland who aren't like that, I'm just saying this was my experience with pretty much everyone I met)
I love your channel! I think you are a very positive influence :)
New subscriber here thanks to a RUclips recommendation! Stayed for the amazing content!! I originally watched to see if my daughter had it but am slowly realizing and coming to terms with the fact that I might very well have it and when I did the quiz you posted it said there was a strong possibility. I relate to 99% of your content and thought everyone was like this to be honest! In a bit of a shock but also feeling relieved 😌. Thank you ❤️
I'm coming off two year support this month and pretty terrified. No shame in needing support, great video, needed this 💕
You definitely deserve all of the recognition you've earned! I'm so excited for you
Sam I feel, looking back, that I was often taken advantage of, by people I thought where friends, I can't bare to see anyone in need or struggling and I'm driven to help them, but often it was to my detriment, it might make a good video to talk about how to protect ourselves from being taken advantage of. Love your videos. Thank you 💖
I go to an adult day program 3 days a week and I'm able to be myself there. Everyone there has a mental illness including some other people with autism. I feel right at home at first I didn't but I've been going for a little over 5 years.
PS wow you're pushing 8.5k now not quite there yet but pretty close.
I like the orchid analogy, that works much better than the puzzle piece.
Love your vids. After years of pondering, my conclusion: build the world that feels good for you around you, not allow the world to make you fit. BTW I'm Mr Faux Pas - I now accept it.
Holidays are ROUGH, even for neurotypicals, I have felt so exhausted and frustrated, and helpless. So sorry you felt you had to put out content. Always feel comfortable taking breaks whether for yourself or pleasure. We will always be here when you get back. Your content is definitely the best autistic woman content I've seen on RUclips but dont feel each video has to be perfect. There is such little women autistic content in general much less on RUclips. For me the content is content. It helps me to feel less alone and validated in the struggles of simply existing. And I thank you so much for that but I'd rather have less consistent videos so that you can recover from RUclips and life. Remember there are hundreds of silent happy content people for every 1 negative comment. ❤❤❤ happy holidays. Take care.
I’ve only just discovered your channel in the last couple of days, but find what you do to be really insightful and well presented. You’ve got a talent for it - the humor and positivity are really helpful too, thank you so much!
Oh yes the orchid part is so true. My personal hell was school or jobs where I would have to do the same repetitive task over and over again. In those environments, I would become depressed or violent. But the minute I enter a good environment, like grad school or my apartment I excel. I know that I would've saved years of suicidal violent thoughts if I would've dropped out of school
Haha, thanks for the social skills :D At least I feel less alone
Social skills can be hard. In different countriee socializing can be different.
You are not alone.
Congrats
I find it fascinating that as much as I’ve seen people who think like me, I actually am blown away that aspies on the inside thinks so similar.
But as a man - I’m fascinated how I feel far more attachment to females. I can never repay you. I understand because your brain is me.
You’ve let meet me. 💕
12:52 Suomi mainittu suaatana 😂
Good stuff, I gotta try to binge this channel when I get the time. Currently learning Orchid lifestyle, working in mismatch field, gonna make changes necessary to find my own habitat.
You're so positive, it's refreshing! Congrats on your RUclips success.
Congrats on the 5K+ subs! I have been enjoying watching all these topics and its amazing just how many things I relate to as someone with Autism. I have genuinely learned a lot watching your videos and your videos are perfect for explaining autism to someone who wouldn't know much or anything about it.
Thank you so far, I got a few videos to watch still but its been great watching them 😀
You're incredible! 8k and beyond. Keep going, we need you.
Thank you. Needed to hear that. For a very long time I thought that something was wrong with me, but it turned out that I am just autistic
I think that that is what we all have in common: to think that something is wrong with us. And in the end we're only more or less slightly different. It just turns me mad if people, who don't have the slightest idea, give a rather unpleasant judgement.
i really like her, because she saids the things, we're all thinking.
what to do when you've masked all your life so that now you don't even know anymore who you really are? I have several masks which I switch depending on the person I'm with or the environment I'm in (work, gatherings, daily routines like grocery shopping etc etc etc).
Sometimes I feel like I'm masking even when I'm all by myself.
I only found your channel 1 or 2 days ago. So this might seem strange to say...but u already have changed my life. U also look like me somehow and your energy as well. I asked my husband and he agrees. I really appreciate you and your content. Ok bye I go now to watch the rest of your videos😊 I'm from Belgium by the way. Xxx
Now I really want to go to Finland
I had been suspecting for about two years that I might have autistic traits but didn't really look too much into it until, about a year ago when I started to really delved into the world of autism and what it truly is, how it affects people and how it presents itself. The more I learned the more I wanted to know and so I came across a few RUclips channels discussing autism. One in particular really hooked me in as the content was presented so well and I found myself able to relate to the signs and the challenges autistic people have in a neurotypical world. That channel brought me to yours and must say that I relate so completely to everything you say and present on your channel.
Autism explains everything for me. I identify 100% with all your content and with virtually all the comments I read.
I finally feel like I belong somewhere in the world of humans. I finally feel like I'm okay and not a failed human. I feel like I'm not alone and can so easily relate with the autistic community.
I am not diagnosed however, I will be beginning the process very soon and you have definitely helped me gain the confidence with your content, that I know I need to pursue this avenue and not be deterred by the potential dismissiveness I may encounter with some professionals.
Thank you so much for being you and for your content. It is such a relief to finally after 47 turns around the sun, feel like I'm actually okay as I am and feel like there is a place in the world of humans for me. That I'm not a displaced animal trapped in human form.
I’m so glad I subscribed. It brings me so much relief to be able to relate to someone on the other side of the world.
Just found your channel you're awesome i was only diagnosed with aspergers recently i only make scenxe of my life watching videos like yours love you iewally like you're channel and you
Go Sam, Go Sam, Go Sam ❤️
Wow. As of writing this, the channel is at 101k subs. I'll go look to see if there's a 100k sub video! Thanks for venturing into making videos on autism. It really helps me to find a way to relate to someone.
I'm crying right now, I am so happy I found this channel, thank you so much yo samady sam
I've definitely suffered from low self esteem in the past, even now I can do something that is generally accepted to be pretty tough and act like - "it can't be that hard if I can do it".
I visited my family for the fourth (america) and it was so validating to spend time with my siblings I hadn't seen in years who are both self diagnosed asd (myself too). Just unmasked and honest for the first time in years with people I knew would understand me
Found your channel this week and love your content been spending a lot of time on the channel!
Working to find out if I'm on the spectrum or not but a lot of what's being shared hits home with me.
wow this is a great video! its really helpfull and encouraging. im actually a 15 year old with high fuctioning autism. you are the best!
Ms Sam! Masking ... Meltdowns ... Masking meltdowns ... And part Danish. I am beginning the process of formal diagnosis, and it's sweet assurance to hear you tell my story while telling yours. You assure me that I do have a tribe--a tribe of Orchids! "Tusen hjertelig takk for alt!" (I'm part Norsk and lived there a couple years when younger. 🇳🇴)
I recently found your channel and I want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH! I've always felt a little different to my peers but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I'm a 37 year old female and I have a friend whose teenage daughter is autistic whom I found myself relating so much to, so I had a discussion with my friend and she told me that she could definitely see a lot of the same traits her daughter was displaying in me throughout my life (we've known each other for 30 years). I dove deep into researching autism, and while I haven't been formally diagnosed, I can say that I am 100% convinced that I am autistic. Your videos have made me so much more comfortable with being "different" and taken the stigma away from "the A word". Please keep doing what you do...you've no idea how much you're helping people like me!
It seems you have 8000 subscribers now! And I'm delighted to be able to subscribe and view your videos. Be nice to yourself as you receive mean comments, they just come with the territory. Thanks for the videos!!
loverainthunder 2000 subscribe in 2 weeks.
Samdy said in the last livestream.
18k now 👏👏👏
You're channel is genuine, inspiring and top notch binge-worthy...so greatful for you, thanks.
Congrats on blowing up. This is the first video im around for uploading. Subscribed literally yesterday. You made me realise i might need to get tested after my 18th birthday cause my grandparents would scoff at the idea of something being 'wrong' with me and that i should just get on with it. Anyway, i thank you.
The Scandinavian Christmas is cozy, indeed! I'm Norwegian. Got diagnosed yesterday, at age 22. So, I plan on informing my family prior to Christmas. I love the time, but it tends to be an ordeal to spend time at my parents' place (I'm always accused of being "too sensitive", "too particular", "too hung up on principle", etc.) I'd say, yes, I'm glad I live in Norway. There are still struggles, but I suppose I would do worse socially if I lived in the States, the UK, etc.
I can relate to masking. I feel like I do it at work. Sometimes I leave work and I feel completely exhausted and almost violated.
You're doing great - stop worrying. Your vids are so helpful.
I am about to start the formal process of diagnosis. Luckily it's not too bad in NZ, but this channel has really helped in a multitude of ways. Thanks.
Hey maybe it's not a coincidence that shortly after I got super into Finland and decided I want to live there after just watching countless RUclips videos on the country, I started really suspecting I'm autistic. Not diagnosed, but seemingly more and more likely the more I learn
Fantastic , love you ,Sam..You are insightful non-pareil
With having an extra chromosome, I've always wondered if I had autism too. I can't be lucky enough to have basically no issues while having trisomy 23. Seeing your past videos today made me far more curious about the possibility of why I am the way I am. So, thank you for putting this information out there.
OMG as an Italian autistic woman who has been in Finland for a semester and obviously loved it, I cracked up at "if you go to Finland there is a whole country of autistic people there" XD
Don't apologize for not feeling up to something or feeling like we won't watch. I think most of your viewers are either autistic or have autistic loved ones. We get it. You do you, that's what we're here for ;) (Edit: but thank you for being so open about not feeling up to it. Due to masking for years I also still need to learn how to say, no, I can't or won't do this right now. I need to do something else or just be on my own for a bit. Not everyone gets this.)
I just found you and am bingeing. I have been aware that I was on the spectrum but still always try to understand more and your videos are putting together a bunch of pieces that I had not quite been able to piece together. Thanks for your videos.
I'm awaiting diagnosis at the age of nearly 50. I don't know how to 'surround myself with autistic people' or people who understand me. I'm so afraid of people now.
This video made me realize how literal I can be in conversations. I feel like I used to mask a whole lot more than what I do now. I’m 32 years old and I feel more comfortable in my skin. However, I do run into social situations where my communication isn’t there. I’m an optician and I remember this patient asking me if I had a boyfriend & I said yes and he asked me if it was serious. I took that literal and I was like no it’s not serious we’re taking it slow and it’s very relaxed. And then I said “i’m seriously in a relationship” 😂 😅 Then I realized later that it’s a figure of speak what he asked LOL
Holy moly you’ve got 21.7k subs now!!
Pretty cool. I found you in 2019 and it has really been life altering for me. I’ve been loving the new understanding I have for myself and finally feel like I have a clue how I work.
I think you're a wonderful human being and I love your videos. It takes a lot of courage to talk about it on RUclips. You do help me a lot, you can be proud of yourself 💜
I does require much strength for autistic people and a lot of energy. I do think I'm hypersensitive to a point it gets scary to other people and myself but it's okay to have weaknesses. Everybody does, we're only humans and we do need support. It's hard to ask but some nice people are willing to help and it's really wonderful. There are lots of strengths of being an aspie and remember, the only person you need to compare yourself is... Yourself. Talk to yourself like you would do to young kids and try and be your best friend. Easier said than done, but we're on this planet to learn and improve, right? The hardest thing I have to deal with is other people's judgement or my own judgement but it's slowly getter better. My personal struggle is to try and stay away from toxic people who tell me I talk too much and pinpoint my weaknesses or project their angst against me, it really hurts. The French culture isn't helping at all and I hope it changes for the best.
One friend told me the only person I was going to spend the rest of my life was going to be myself, so we'd better get on 😊
Dropping the mask and surrounding yourself with the right people is a great advice but yes, relax, it takes time.
Thank you for sharing your amazing videos!
You have nearly 10,000 according to my feed. Congrats. You are my inspiration at the moment, so helpful right now x
I still remember when you had just a few followers. I'm so happy for your success! But with success comes trolls 😂 keep ignoring them. 😊
Thank you for your videos. I'm a junior doctor in the UK (although not a psychiatrist!!) and I've found the things you've said in a number of your videos very helpful (more helpful than some of my previous psychiatrists which is more than a little concerning). It's made me do a lot of introspection and I've had to take some time off work to process it but I suspect I may be an autistic adult who masks. It's very clear to me now that autistic people with this phenotype cannot recognise themselves properly in the criteria for diagnosis and that that's particularly concerning given we tend to be particularly good at pattern analysis. I'm having a lot of thoughts at the moment but I wanted to say thank you.
I’m part of not one but two misunderstood minorities. I am strong for making it this far.
Excellent vlog.. Good information, thank you💜from a Neurotypical teacher who is trying to understand more.💜
I think to add to what you said about owning your talents I think in addition it’s about framing a group of talents that make sense to you and focus on that as a group and then start adding one group to another. Obviously there are the difficulties we are aware of and there are the difficulties that other NT people identify that are outside our awareness or even if we do become aware by someone telling us that we won’t understand what the issue is and should I fix it
ASD and in the US. It is difficult even in the relatively isolated area that i live in. not to mention certain family members that basically ignore the reality that i’m not like them.
I just googled this topic yesterday, right on w the timing for this video.
Algorithms are connected
Thank you for sharing every week your experience. Because of you I will meet a psychologist for the first time. Thank you for letting me fully understand that I don't have to struggle faking everyday. I genuinely know my mind and my way of thinking have always been different. Since I was 3. I just had this feeling (which was huge when I was a little girl, like feeling confused, lost - I'm 21 Now and is more like frustrating) of me not comprehending something, that I missed something important, when talking with other humans and when I have to do practical things that I just don't understand (ex: my concept of order is really alien I think). I am really scared. I have always been scared I think, but I used to mask my mind so Now it is the first time I cannot stand the mask anymore and I feel like I CAN ask for help. I am scared that physicians will make me feel just as I feel with others. I am afraid to hear the classical "I don't understand" or "you seem getting confused" (when I am NOT) or "try to explain your feeling and thoughts in a better way" (when I am just describing what I see in my mind and how I feel) or "be more concrete" (when I feel I am the only one being REAL). I hope you can help me with some things I don't know about the dynamics of the diagnosis or just give me more little informations because it is Now a month that I cannot change topic in my mind. My mother thinks I am crazy and looks at me in the same way I used to be looked when I was younger and being myself. But this time it is not just my super curiosity plus hyperfocus, but it is about me talking about me for the first time. I feel like in a dream (like in my shutdowns, when I feel so embarassed after a meltdown in public or after a violent reaction with my family And I feel like I am hallucinating). I used to spend my energy in hiding my "dimension". What Now? How? But mostly..what if I am not on the spectrum - am I psychotic??
There’s a song by Alanis Morissette called “Orchid”; it talks about what it is like to be different :)
I love Alanis!
Stephanie missed your live stream on friendship.
She probably was busy.
She loves your channel that's nice you mention her in your video.
Yo Samdy Sam there could be 100 people on your next live stream.
You'll have to explain you won't have time to read every comment.
I'm sorry Samdy going back before your first live stream.
I was worried that you would find it hard with people throwing loads of random question at you.
I have a admit I was wrong.
You do cope with lots if random topic being ask.
I've been live stream bad once.
Your hasn't been bad yet.
Don't now have a meltdown on livestream and prove me wrong again.
Yes, I found Samdy just after I found Stephanie in the last few days 🤩
Magnificent job Sam. Please keep up the great work.
😘 you're doing everything right X
I stumbled upon your channel a few days ago and I really like your videos. Thank you for doing what you do. You are giving people a voice! I just subscribed and now it’s showing 25k subscribers. Maybe I’m the 25,000th?! 😃
I think our mental health systems need serious modernization and total reboot. So much of it creates problems out of issues that aren’t things to “fix” they are just traits that need better management and healthy strategies for healthy expression.
I am an orchid too! Thank you for this ❤️
You rock girl’
I realized my chameleon tendencies years ago, but this makes sense that it’s a masking thing. I do it unconsciously by now (39) and it would be quite the struggle to try dropping the mask. Actually I’ve tried something that might be the same thing and it hasn’t gone well. Haha haha! I’m half Finnish, and honestly think the autism comes from both sides. Probably why it was so hard for all us kids.
Around 12:37 ... I was very surprised to hear you say that about Finland. I was born and raised there, so I'm fairly familiar with the place. Interestingly, I don't know if I ever would have looked at it the same way as you, but that makes so much sense!
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, but I'm feeling a strong kinship with the Autistic world. Or maybe I was under-diagnosed.
It was a small flippant comment but maybe a little truth in there 😜
I found your comment on how Scandinavian culture is much more autistic friendly, I have the same impression with UK compared to Brazil. Not only the culture, but the weather too.
In Brazil I think we are over competitive and have little respect for personal boundaries, it is common for people to touch you without asking first, the hot weather is particularly unpleasant. Here in the UK I fell my boundaries are more respected without me having to ask or worry if people will be offended if I ask for boundaries. The colder weather is also definitely a plus, no unpleasant heat or sweating
Yeah - 25K now!!!
I really like your channel, thank you !
11:05 You hit exactly on the same struggle that I also deal with!
I need to practice dropping my mask. I feel almost like I need to refind myself.
How interesting! I’m 18% Finnish! 👀
I moved to Finland from South America many years ago. The amount of spectrumy people I've met here is astronomical, at least compared to the place where I grew up in.