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Text Game - How to get busy or flaky girls out on dates
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- Опубликовано: 16 мар 2018
- Ahh... text flaking. Probably the thing that has caused more guys to quit game than any other. And the fact is, you'll always get it to a certain degree... but you'll get exponentially more flaking if you suck at text game. So here's one step in how to not suck at it!
1. are you adventurous
2.whats you are view on this (activity)
3.invite
make her qualify herself to you
No. I love playing video games, but definitely not with you. Read above.
Great strategy. Never simply ask to go out. Always have something in mind that's tailored to her interest. For those of you who want more strategies pick up some sales books. The strategies you learn in sales are very similar to the ones you learn in pickup.
So there a this girl in my city I like. We are cool with each other, she has a long distance relationship with a foreign guy, but I have a feeling she may be open to going out with guys.
What’s the line I should write to her? Smth witty and fun preferably. Although I hate writing “how are you?” Type of messages
The 3 question close... man, that's just next level. It was so smooth the way Todd described it. Adding that to my game for sure...
I recently was on a date where the woman from her body lenguage did not see interessted and als the conversation was not really fluent all the time. after 4 hours she told me that she is by natur a very introvered and shy personality. I eventurly turned the date around after her shyness confession and pulled her even, but how do i detect shyness vs disinteresst? (looks for me dam well the same)
GAME Development - The Process nice that you pulled anyway!
and then i never saw her again. i didn't even have her number and she doesn't answer to my texts on okc. so a 1 night success but i would have liked to see her again :D
She wasn't shy
Shy my ass. Put Dwayne Johnson or Elon Musk in front of her, she won't be shy then! If Shakira or Katy Perry approached you and wanted a date, you wouldn't be shy at all. But what man is?
Hell shyness is equal to disinterest.
@@1bosstv most guys wouldnt even be able to make eye contact with shakira or katy perry (when shes hot)
Awesome advice here Todd, we appreciate it. Definitely am going to use your 3 step questions following after a high note. Look forward to more sound advice, peace.
I like the soft close you suggested. Love these technical strategies
What's your mic setup when on dates? Really well hidden yet great audio quality, Todd. Been recording my own infield with earphones out but that doesn't always cut it.
Hey Todd what's your view about social media versus a number? I know that a number is a more solid man to woman standard frame. But social media can convey a whole lot about you to her more than a number.
Chris P great question,hope he will answer
Obv Todd is the best person to answer this, but I would say get both. For example, get the number and then after a couple texts ask for her Insta.
I forget who did the video but look up tinder vs meeting girls. That group outlines all the different options with social media and why you would or why you wouldn't use them.
Don't waste your time with social media. Stay traditional with the number. Try to get her talking on the phone like the video said.
Any advice of how to make a move with a lady im interested on, if i only have few seconds of contact, or a minute if im lucky, i.e. cashier on some market or smth like that, without screw it up a future visit on that frecuent place, if that's even possible.
Keep it simple. Make a joke get her to laugh then ask for her number. Takes 1 minute.
What's your opinion about parents/family influence on your game? For example how to avoid being chody as your father or how not inherit same behaviour patterns and family models/roles?
I've learned how to pickup girls, but in relationships same underneath principles of chodiness sometimes pop up and ruin the relationships.
Great topic, would love to see a longer video on that, probably too huge for this short videos
Man i know this shit is late but a good place to start is communication even though it may not sound like it. Its going to be a process and even then ypu will have your moments but everybody does we are human after all. But good communication builds trust and allows her to understand why you might be that way sometimes. A great book for fairly cheap that will CHANGE your life is "Crucial Conversations" i think i got it for 12 bucks and is not too long and packed with straight to point info (all killer no filler) and tons of revelatory "holy shit i totally do that when i try to have a hard conversation with someone and makes things worse!." Everybody has things in their relationship like you with your "chodiness" and others with sarcasm or passive agressiveness or they shutdown. EVERY couple has their obstacles or differences....BUT not EVERY couple breaks up over them. The difference is HOW we "argue" or "communicate". Goodluck man this wont fix everything but it will definitely arm you to fight for the things you want against the part of you that "screws thing up" if paired with some time understanding those patterns as well.
Hey everyone, I’m currently trying to make a new channel on RUclips about how to get in shape if you are very busy with your office job, or if you are a student and you can't get enough time for it.
Which is why I have two very simple questions:
1. As a very busy person trying to get in shape, what are the 2 biggest issues you’re dealing with?
2. Regarding getting your dream body, what would you wish for more than anything else?
Thanks so much in advance - looking forward to reading your answers!
Hey Todd, i was just wondering if you could talk about the issue of feeling not good enough (not talkative, funny, bantering) enough for certain girls.. (that they are better than me in some way, they wouldn't be interested in talking to me in a romantic way etc.. )
And 'insights' to girls minds regarding this thing, like every girl -no matter how popular, gorgeous, confident looking and flirtatious; well connected with lots of friends and followers etc. they might be, they are just regular girls with insecurities who want to be loved, and want to connect with a real guy. (and not some godly, evolved creatures with superhuman standards)
dexdaladoor yeah man that would be cool
Interesting question for sure.
Best advice ever for flaky girls ... thank you
Hey Todd I like that u said women are biologically smart whether u call any of them unintelligent for any reason. My experience through pickup has changed my view on women and also people in general so much that im no longer just this kind of charming angry frustrated nice guy to someone who actually loves women and is actually capable of appreciating someone beyond what abstract intelligent thoughts they decide to discuss on any level with me.
Todd is the 🐐 no lie. Gonna keep commenting this so he can do this forever
Hi, I’ve been getting some good results over text recently, using your techniques and suggestions. I am slightly disabled guy so I was just wondering when you thought I should tell the girl I am disabled , either after a couple of interactions over text or towards the date? I ask because some time disability is a turn off to women and sometimes it doesn’t matter to them.
All great advice, but if she says no twice doing that, you are better to stop trying. She has low interest and texting is not going to get her out. The only thing that works in my experience is stop asking and no contact and if she is interested at all, usually in a month or so you get the "whats up" or "how you doing text". She knows what you wanted and was not feeling it. She probably was chasing some guy she was more invested in or liked more when you asked. If you keep trying, you lose value. Stop asking is challenge and you avoid the hard no. Better to wait for her to reach out, because if she does it is like 90% she will say yes. (If she does and still is giving you the run around, she just wants attention and is a time waster). If she does not reach out, she was never going to go out with you.
In the dating game, as soon as we leave, memories slowly fade, and new flirtations arise.
What kind of stories you tell or pictures do you use at level 1 (being previously ignored) in text game?
How do you frame your stories not to look braggadocious?
So glad you are back!
Todd, dressing well -> opening well (in accordance to your women program) and getting flat-out dull / un-interested responses, what to do with bad responses to move things forward? Group opening tips would also be cool
I have trouble even socializing, or having friends or people in my life, let alone girls, because I have negative self beliefs. How can I change these? Can I change these fast or is it a long hard process?
I know you want Todd but just my 2 cents: from personal experience, long hard process. It's worth it, though. It took me about 2 years to become a "positive" person from being very cynical and nihilistic. It all had to do with my thought patterns. Meditation does wonders for this and so does mantras, exercise, hobbies, etc. Good luck :)
klasop life coach here: it doesn't take much if you know how to clear limiting beliefs. The technique itself that works wonders is called Time Line Therapy, it's what I use with clients. You can learn it from either the audio program "The secret of creating your future" (recomended) or the book "Time Line Therapy and the basis of personality".
klasop check out julienhimself on RUclips, the video I most recommend is the happiness manifesto, thank me later
Just change them. I understand your problem, I was there about a year ago, and I just did it. You know they're negative and you kow they're wrong so replace them with true positive self beliefs. You might be in a place where those positive beliefs aren't true YET, so work on yourself and make them true.
It's a long and hard process. Yes you have to clear limiting beliefs, but in my opinion much more to it. First off, in what way do you have problems socializing? How do you present yourself. If you get nervous around Hot women, go hang out at a strip club where an hour and get used to talking to girls, go to hooters and don't stare at there chest. Try to be concious about your self-concious behavior. Don't forget (i don't know the exact percentage), but in communication Verbal Words are like only 15%. If you start holding yourself better people will want to be around you longer.
If your problem is thinking of things to say. Then that is why people have Canned routines, that fit there personality. I literally will see something funny, and use that as a canned routine.
Hey Todd, would love to hear a video about going for the pull vs going for the number. Is it possible to mess it up by going for the pull too hard and realizing it won't work and then take her number as backup plan? Is there a type of "point of no return" associated with this play?
What do I do when we've already hung out multiple times and even gotten sexual the last time. Not actual sex, but you get the idea. And she has mentioned multiple times how she thinks I'm a player and I talk to other girls etc etc. And the problem is she thinks I might let her down in the end. And now she hasn't texted me back in 5 days. Do I text her saying how I really wanna see her? I'm unsure of the balance of neediness and non-neediness because she thinks I'm playerish, so in this instance it almost seems like I need to reassure her that I really do like her. UPVOTE this so it can be answered.
Girl says ‘I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make tonight but don’t mind rearranging. You had a good day?’ Best way to overcome this
Accept it.
People have plans.
When you know when a phone its dead ? And when you know its over and you have to stop sending messages?
If a chick keeps saying no to getting together, you do ONE thing....MOVE ON!!! As the late, great Phil Lynott would say ` if that chick don`t wanna know..forget her `. Constantly hounding her just makes you look needy and desperate.
It means she doesn't like u enough to care about meeting up with you. Sometimes the girl just like a text buddy to keep her busy and boost her ego. Like all those girls you see constantly on their phones. It's probably them texting beta chumps and looking like they are super important or special.
How to begin to like socializing in general, been doing game for over a year now but still feel like talking to new people is a chore and try to avoid doing so.
Makes perfect sense... I thirst for a word where we men are the ones being pursued, and women are the ones watching this video and jumping through our hoops lol
Phenomenal video! Very helpful and insightful!
How to qualify a girl? How to react when she starts doing it?
Isn't the vibe and the general perception that she's getting from you more important than any "don'ts" in game? For example, because you are a flirty guy who is "just sexual" and likes to say things like "Your so lovely today" (and other sexual variations) in a casual way. Is there something wrong with this type of vibe and style of game? That doesn't mean that she will think she already has me, does it? Because I would be sub-communicating the rest of the things in "the right way".
Very hard to pull off through text dude.
Sub-communications are not easy to send/interpret through text.
1:20 ...this guys has been there and done that.
Put up a dating product that covers a variety of subject related not only to pick up,for example tips on sex, how to date well,how to set definite dates etc ....out,more money for you,more value for us.
Nice, short, compact and effective. Thanks man!!
So basically I have two questions to ask first part is when I go out right... I opened sets when I have hooked one....we're vibing, having fun but suddenly her friends just takes her away... Even though I was not neglecting her friends it happens to me a lot or that they are in a rush although they are not....i persist in a funny way but it doesn't work... That's the first part second part is when I open some girls just walks off or gives me the Meh sign... How to not half ass when you open?
I'm guessing this also applies if you ask her out face to face and she's actually busy, then next time you just talk to her rather than straight up keep asking her to go out.
If I may: Before picking up the phone, you can transition into it by using voice messages on Whatsapp for example. Big in Europe anyway.
Thanks for your answers Todd. My question is, how do you improve your online dating profile so that's very attractive to girls and they are very interested in meeting you?
Met her briefly at the club,20 or so with her 3 friends, she called me hour later at midnight said hold on I'll call right back...calls right back then hangs up.I figured would wait 2 to 4 days and call her back?2 weeks is too long
Imo 4 days is way too long. If she's hot she's getting approached by tens of guys, so she'll quickly forget about you (but don't get needy because of that, see it as normal and that you're good enough). Calling the next day, at best 2 days after (though I'd say the next day is better since you met her in a club) is good enough in my opinion. And if she's not comfortable some texting could work better until you build raport/comfort with her, you can also tease and flirt with her over text as well until she feels good to talk to you on the phone. Also from what I keep hearing from men teaching pickup you shouldn't ask her why she hang up at least in the first interactions, probably because you're putting pressure on her unnecessarily. I'm no expert but it's what I would do.
When implementing a behaviour, how can you tell the difference between whether you're in the uncanny valley or it's just a leveling behaviour?
How long did it take you to become intermediate? Do you have any videos on your personal journey? How did you find a wingman? Thanks!
Hey Todd, I was out last night, met a girl I haven’t spoken to in years, we hit it off, and she agreed to grab some coffee
(She was drunk at the moment, I was not)
The texting game is where I’m in deep waters, so what do I do to keep her interested over text?
Hey Todd, so I picked up The System (which is fantastic btw), and haven't gotten to everything yet so I hope you can bare with me.. I'm beginner/intermediate level and can open a set, and even get a number. But after the open, I find it hard to keep things interesting and engaging without falling into interview mode and asking questions. I've tried making assumptions/mini cold reads, which have sometimes lead to an actual conversation. But sometimes she gives me nothing to work with, and find it tough to move any further without coming off as try hard. Can you share any advice on this? Idk if I just need more practice or there is something I should or shouldnt be doing. Also id like to thank you for all of the content you share. You were my main source of inspiration to get off my ass and work on my game.
Often when I'm taking to girls I go into Todd mode... it's kind of playful and my tone vocabulary and accent become a bit like Todd's.
Right? The same thing happens to me. I start thinking of myself as Todd and voila... nice things happen :)
Thats too weird. You should be yourself and not someone else!
@@andrewmitchell7592 agree man!
Literally same. I’ve noticed that as of recent as well
@@michaelpassmore7839 works well but it was just a light that shone on me for a brief period :(
So you have a lot of content on the different aspects such as disqualifying, building value/comfort, and other subcategories of game in general, and then you have infield in which you use all of it together. As good as you are i know you have a lot of experience under your belt, and I find myself understanding these aspects of game individually but struggle to use them in actual situations. Incorporating them into my conversations Especially for example on a date. Do you have any tips or suggestions in which We could improve on putting these aspects of game and connecting it to our actual situations when talking to a girl? Or is practice really the only thing that we can do about it?
is there an optimal way to text-game for hookups while bypassing a "date" altogether?
I'm a guy in my mid-30s who loves dating 20smth year olds for the simple reason that they come with much less pressure/expectations with regards to wanting to have kids and start a family. This being the case, because of this pressure, I have been leaving a lot of attractive 30smths on the table. How do you deal with women who (even on the first date), will start talking about kids?
I feel you man. I'm only 27 now but I don't see myself getting over girls in their early 20's anytime soon, and I really don't see myself wanting children anytime soon either. Hey, I see no problem with dating younger girls in their 20's while you are in your 30's. How has that been going for you?
Hey Todd can you do a video on dance floor game
This same thing is happening with me and it seems to never work and please guys dont tell me to move on I really want this 10 what should i do she keeps delaying
Move on. Take a couple week break. Come back to it when you have something fun to invite her to. It takes time for her psychology to reset. You can also try sending some quality pictures of yourself having a great time with friends.
Todd,
I know it’s been awhile since you made this video and you probably won’t see this but shit you never know.
I can’t seem to find the balance. Like I’ll either be “too boring” but if I start talking about cool things I’m doing or about me I’m “over qualifying” and “trying too hard”. What are some ways to find middle ground,
Hey Todd. Thank You sharring your knowlege of women. I want to go out with a co coworker, I've received the holding of eye contact, the touch on the arms and shoulders..the chem is their. What is a good place for a first outting? Thank You
This is a big problem for me, thanks Todd
I like how Todd says yes keep persisting. It’s true. Why wouldn’t you?
3:06 when they reject me the 1st time, I wont ask a second time. Have some self respect
Hey Todd, how would you best recommend breaking down your nights out/daygame sessions to maximize your learning curve? Thanks for all the advice, keep up the amazing work!
I don't know about keeping up persistence with someone who does not show interest. This might be the only thing I disagree with in the whole of Todd's paradigm, not that anyone cares hahah, but persisting with someone who is flaky and has no interest, if anything is damn annoying and diminishing. Well, yes, that is my problem but then again you have what the other paradigm is stemming from C. Wayne, which is: If she doesn't initiate a reschedule then leave her be as she clearly has not enough interest and you will chase her away and might demonstrate neediness. Now I know that sending value texts without asking her out again as part of a "subscriber list" might be Todd's answer to this but either way it is something that I've never been too keen on: Giving attention where it is not deserved. I like women who show a bit of initiative and have some basic respect. I tend to resent women who don't - again my problem. I probably need to collapse a few associations so that I can become uncaring or indifferent like I believe Todd to be. Either way, Todd has by far the best texting and communication/dating advice I've come across and I've been studying this stuff for about 15 years.
Todd I got a lot of Flakyness I that really bothers me. Because I got the attraction part handled , makeouts and so on but on the phone like even girls who were attracted to me most often flaked. Me and a frind of mine that had the same problem became kind of phonephobic trying to close all the sets into a pull and that hurt our game. I would really apreciate a video talking about this subject of reducing flake rate and qualification if possible. (Sorry about bad englih, not native lenguage). Cheers
Hey Todd, I admire your work and dedication for the past years to really help us getting good!! Here's my question: What are your best tips for hooking girls in Nightclubs or loud environments?Often for me the girls either don't open at all or they feel weird getting talked to in front of all their friends and eject. Would love to hear your opinion;)
Same problem here. Do you have any tip now?
Even voice notes work great. Just record a sound clip and send.
Todd. What's your view on nlp. October man sequence. Is it a waste of time. I barely see you guys talk about it. You intructord don't even have to make a video about it. Just let me know in the comments. I barely see instructors talk about nlp seduction
Jose Wallhaller he uses it in bed.
How do you make yourself feel good when opening very blasé girls, who seem to avoid making eye-contact? How do you build deep confidence that makes you more relaxed in those situations?
>> I can MAKE myself approach easily (as long as I feel motivated enough), but for now I'm mostly TELLING MYSELF I'm doing the "right thing" and that I have a lot to offer, but those thoughts have not formed into solid BELIEFS yet, so I'm still pinging off the girl and if she avoids my intial eye-contact or answers in a very blasé way, then my confidence drops a little and I find myself either giving up pretty soon or "trying to be persistant" while feeling more and more like an idiot (if her initial response is positive though, it doesn't make a big difference how hot she is, I can proceed in a relaxed way and my confidence grows)
Hey Todd, i've been having difficulties with pretty girls in a way that for example after third date (kiss clouse on first), she/they does not have initiative in texting, kissing... in any way, never. And i fell that she' s not that into me, but she is meeting me every time. What do u think is a problem? Thanks for the answer :) V
Thanks for your great content Todd!
Could you help us about loud environment and gaming in clubs in please and thank you.
Why not keep persisting on a girl who if flaky and non responsive you ask? Because I respect myself enough to only want to be with people who want to choose me too.
Hey Todd (and YT) how do you approach group and mixed sets and deal with the cockblocks?
Hey Todd, as a 22 yr old that looks 17 I struggle to be taken seriously or to attract when it comes to women around my age. Do you have any advice that might help to overcome this? I’m healthy, in shape, chasing my dreams & constantly trying to improve my knowledge in all subjects. Should I just try not to be a chode or what? Lol Thanks,
Hey todd, how about girls who don't reply texts? what is your procedure for following up with them? I know a lot of people would say to just move on but sometimes a little persistence goes a long way. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks
Hey Todd, thoughts on probability of dating the top 1 percent like singers and actresses while displaying high value traits? While not having much status, money.
Todd, what about girls that under values themself to the point where the decision to action transition spends more social capital than you can lose without regressing nearly back to attention? Sorry if this question doesnt make sense.
Great video Todd.
Flakes are just a part of dating that yo have to learn to optimize around yes, but the truth is the girls that are good and well adjusted wont make things difficult. Getting a girl to turn up to a date is not supposed to feel like pulling teeth. You should be glad when a girl flakes and gives you bullshit because she just disqualified herself, and did you a favour by letting you know she aint shit
How to make a girl like you again after you fucked up with something? (my example is I ignored the girl when I asked her out as part of the group for friends night out, my motivation is women don’t like being chased but I overdone it, and now she is mad)
The phone part is 100 percent true even in day of technology. If she talks on the phone then we are meeting up usually
A close? Are you asking a girl out, or selling something. Just tell the boys, say what you want and want what you say. What are you afraid of? No?
Great advise Todd! Just want to have your take on this: the girl keeps on replying "???" after i initially texted her. Is this a shit test or something? What would you do if this happens.
How to handle compliments? There is plenty material on shit tests, but what should I do when she tells me I’m awesome, smart or romantic...? Basically I ignore them. And I don’t think that’s the right way
How do you react when you approach during the Day and she doesn’t acknowledge you? Of Course the approach wasn’t weak or half assed, she was just ignoring. Would you just let her go or keep „plowing“
thanks Todd i really appreciate it
Mixed set. How to approach them without any flashiness and how to isolate the girl if the set is a group of 3-4 people including guys?
Thanks to your content and programmes I learned a lot the last years, but what still puzzles me, is how to integrate Game in daily life with work, hobbies etc. Maybe you could talk about this.
Do you have any tips or advice on how to close or ask a girl home? Like timing or certain cues
Q. How long does your (Todd's)/ any advance guys day game set runs in order to get very solid number close.
I get number of girls but they don't respond me back. What should I do. Anyone please share their thoughts
Three questions close: 1, Are you an adventure person? Yes. 2, We should do blablabla together. Yes. 3, what’s your week look like?
Correct. You get an A+.
How do I keep the vibe while texting after I had a successful real interaction but me and her are busy, she seems to be slow replyer and I don't even feel like texting her every day. How often should I text her to keep the vibe until I get her out on a date
How do I maximize my social media output, such as Snapchat, instagram, and Facebook to the point where girls start to chase me and slide in my DMs?
How do you handle a girl that is in date with you but doesnt want to kiss you? I think I just can't scalate bc I don't have a house and I want the kiss as a way to turn her on and make the setting for the pull better.
Hi Todd
My question is What's better for a number close: to ask her number when she is on a high or low emotional peak?
Hey, I need some help with hooking and getting the girl invested, it seems like a good interaction. However, I only get a few replies, and the vast majority stop replying the same day. I also get my number in her phone, set plans and stay for as long as I can after getting her number. Thoughts?
Why do girls flake? Or are busy? Especially when they own two televisions and have Netflix? Why are they flaking/busy?
Leonardo Fiallos because everyone wants to appear busy, when they arent. If anything people are distracted, not busy. No one wants to commit to another person. What i find funny though is we all everyday take time out of our day to eat, so to say you are "too busy" is horseshit haha. Plus if a girl were to go out with brad pitt im sure she would drop everything and go out with him. No one is too busy to see someome they like. If they were they would reschedule.
Low interest level.
how is game with girls in high school different from game with older women whats fundamentally the same and what are some differences that I should know
Is there a proper way to navigate through frame control. Ive notice that I've avoid it but realized the better I get at game ive notice some girls will hold the last frame to gain control of the convo.
How do you make sure you’re not leading women on? i try to be very clear what my intentions are but sometimes saying i’m not trying to get into anything serious scares them away, and when they claim a mutual feeling they always seem to change their minds after sleeping with me or spending enough time with me... it has kind of scared me away from even pursuing them anymore, i don’t want anybody getting their feelings hurt
So what if you are trying to get with a girl at work... and she is in a higher position than you, so you aren't allowed to date? But you pursue her anyways, ask for her number and to meet in person outside of work, and she says maybe later down the road. No number or meet up, just maybe later down the road...
I believe you need to create more attraction in this case, combined with showing her that her image at work won't be affected by her going on a date with you (women are really careful at how society views them) and you not chasing her like a needy guy but taking it slowly (could take even a month or more, doesn't matter; best is to talk to other women as well and not wait for this one imo). Attraction you can create by being ballsy, confident, teasing her, a bit of flirting (you + me things), humor etc. Todd has some great videos on this, but you may also want to check Dan Bacon on RUclips, he has se great examples of flirting and teasing + the right atitudine with women. Just my opinion
Wow FaceTime that’s rad. But it’s worth it
A question: This girl stood up on me, the she texted after about an hour and apologized, giving a bs excuse, what should I do?
How to approach girls that are in rush? They are walking very fast and probably won't listen you. Do you have any tips? Thank you.
say "i've never burned so many calories trying to talk to somone" while you approach her and she keeps walking away.
how to pull the girl at the end of the night if she is with a group ( will befriending the group help me , or just somehow disappear with her )
When your typically a lover frame what steps do your recommend switching over to a provider frame and vice versus.