WHY IS A TRUE INFJ SO INTIMIDATING?
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- Опубликовано: 24 июл 2024
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Discover why being a genuine INFJ can feel a bit intimidating. As unique individuals in the rarest personality type, we're all about living authentically and chasing our dreams fearlessly, ready to explore unconventional paths. Embracing our true selves, with our deep emotions and intuitive insights, might be intimidating to some, but that shouldn't stop us from celebrating our individuality and crafting our own awesome INFJ journey full of purpose and significance.
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What are some of your experiences regarding people being intimidated by you as an INFJ?
It seems that every time I meet someone they tell me how intimidating I am, or how intimidating it was until I met them. It could be former students who would tell me post facto, which would be funny because the students who had me as a teacher at the time knew that I wasn’t that intimidating and would laugh at them (and then they would tell me about the conversation and we would laugh together).
In middle or elementary school early on I decided to be me and not care what other people thought … so living and growing up in Texas I chose to take French because I wanted to learn French and not Spanish. Is it related to my INFJ ? Maybe, but at the very least it gave me the independent streak that allowed me to live outside the box. (Apparently I’m also gifted with language learning even though I don’t see how it’s so difficult for others to learn another language and culture … INFJ’ing it ?)
It never occurred to me that being me to be me was the intimidating aspect of my life. I recently started with a new company and was shocked a couple of weeks ago when someone who was a lead in another department stated how I always appear very serious and intimidating, and I’ve only been working there five months. I’ve just been trying to be the best me at my post in the company that I can be at this stage of my employment at the company, and there is plenty that I still don’t know but I was the intimidating person ? ! ? Yeah, still not sure how, but I guess having danced to the beat of my own drum since middle school and refusing to become/do what others expected of me to fit in developed something in me to not care, but I still get shocked every time that I’m told how intimidating that I am. @Wenzes
What I don't say.
Well earned confidence and independence seen as arrogance or ego.
One of the things I am so amazed about is the psychological mirror effect. You are attacking me, but you don't know that I have a hidden mirror in my sleeve and I can make you face the ugliness of your attack, I can reflect your cruel intentions back on you and make you suffer not from me, but from your own self, from the things you have listed as impossible from me to be. It's as egobreking as hell and it's obviously against our Fe, but we do this only after knowing that this person doesn't care about us in any way and we have come to the understanding that we should don't care about him too and as like as he can use everything in his power against us we should do the same, but this is never in the list of expected things from us because very few people can even imagine this going against the grain maneuver. This is the most brutal way of expressing our judging aspect which we mostly keep hidden and unexpressed because of our Fe. Otherwise we will be as Doctor House. He has no boundaries in expressing his judging aspect because he is an INTJ, but that doesn't mean we don't have that judging aspect and no one can wish to face the monster of our judging side when we are faced against high degree of disrespect.
Thank you Wenzes for everything you do for us who have struggled to understand ourselves all our lives.
My anxiety levels fell 95% since I stopped trying to fit in…..I have no friends, but thats ok.
People find me intimidating, but I'm rather quiet and unassuming. 😂
lol good energy just from this comment
Me too. Still waters run deep.
Of the 1% times INXJ talks: shatters the bubbles of delusions and exposes the reality of the world's people live in (or the delusions that they are trapped in.)
lol
Im so sick of ppl telling me Im intimidating... or unapproachable... simply because I chose to reach for high levels of authencity and belief in our highest potential!
Im tired of figuring out the games people play
Me too. I'm tired of people in general.
Took me 70 years.
I was especially impressed with #5 - we're very independent. In fact, I think that all the other four point to this.
When I'm new at a job or at a discipline that I haven't tried before, I have no trouble getting input and advice on what to do. But then I have to take what the person tells me and adjust it to my own way of doing things.
I'm less intimidating when I thank people for their input and then let them know that even if it's done in a somewhat different way, their ideas have been taken seriously.
We have to do things our own way when everything's said and done. After all, that's what we were given to work with! 😊
@@lindateuling7862 really well said
@@ericxb Thank you!
I always asked myself ,after someone would say I'm intimidating...it used to puzzle me ...I dont try to come off as that way 😮
One day it Hit me !!
Im Above in Smart and people can't manipulate you or Lie to you
We catch every detail and they Hate it ! 🤪
Stay Blessed INFJ'S
We're just light years ahead of Timelines ..Old Souls !
😊 TY Wenze
"Yes. Part of you is intimidating. So what." 🤣 ...but the look
We don't see the world the way it is. We see the world the way we are.
Wow.. hit the mark, Wenzes!
We're brilliantly flawed, is what I've noticed, lol.
Thank you Wenzes! As far as people intimidated by me their either love me or hate my guts 😵💫. I don’t waste energy with the latter. You’re right we INJFs can read people like a book 📕 - I’ll add that to me not every book is worth reading 📖🧐
I literally did not know there were others like me until following your channel 🙏🏻
isn't that wild, how isolated we can feel?
Same.
Rare are we.😊
Me too
Me too..
😂 " If you want to be a Shepard....." 😂 I bought a sheepdog and we've been learning sheep herding 😂
I started a job, and this Clique of 5 women verbally attacked me - reporting en masse, false accusations about me to our Director. And I had to beg our Director to protect me. I was very upset that nothing was being done to protect me, also, why was the Director so ademantly believing the accusations made of me by the Clique?
Sometimes people attack me verbally, as described above. They create chaos for me. I’ve learned to watch for these attacks and when they happen: not be overly surprised, take a deep breath, and calmly deal with the situation.
Learning to set boundaries has helped me tremendously. Then learning my options for action in response, and learning how to calmly take action on the option that seems most appropriate.
A big part of this process is to take a deep breath and remain calm.
And having courage and clear thinking.
Believing in my INFJ abilities and using them with confidence.
I have just gone through hell with my job.. again! Bosses always love me in the beginning because I shine at what I do... then they turn on me once they realise they cant control me, as I call things for what they are which they dont like. I think Insecure ppl hate us... then create lies to attack us and bring us down. I feel so defeated... again. Im tired of washing out of everything I have ever done this way :(
I am actively working on my energetic response when I feel the intimidation (its like their energy gets really tight if that makes sense). I am gonna stand in the discomfort (thats what I feel in my body when I sense the intimidation) and carry on the conversation (its always in conversation when it happens to me). Im tired of running from my true power and its not my fault people are intimidated and people who Ive been around who are ahead of me in life or who is content with their life are not put off by me - so - the ones who are - are not people I need to engage with
Love this. Courageous, you are.
As an INFP dude, I don't find you guys intimidating. I see you as kindred spirits of a sort.
The first INFJ I ever met was my stepmother. My siblings and father are not xNFx types and, while we were close knit, I was different and felt it. Then she arrived and I felt seen for the first time ever. We would have massive conversations that went on for hours. We would talk about ideas, future possibilities, people, feelings and more. I now call these NF conferences, because I do the same thing with my ENFJ partner. Sometimes we stay up all night. It feels great to encounter someone who "gets" me. Thanks for being you.
I was joke talking to myself, "What? Me? How would I be intimidating?😅
Then the answer thought came, "Well, imagine what would happen if you didn't care for two minutes?"
Then I got it!😮
Could you expand on this? I feel like I got it but didn't. I also keep asking why I'm intimidating or people are uncomfortable around me, I mainly thought it's the infj stare!
The most difficult thing is to find a partner infj are very reserved. The paradox between having confidence in yourself but not in others dissociating what is true or false... the projections... 🤯 we cannot fit in… 😕
I was in a 5 year relationship and after it ended, I realised I may have intimidated my partner to do what he did without knowing it.
He's the type of person who follows the rules and rather be safe than take the risk. So its understandable why we didn't work out.
I thought I was alone,with this deep insight that no one else understood,and I felt, alienated,and always on the outside. I was unable to go down to their level,and I felt very lonely, unable to have friends on my level. Knowing there are others like me is so wonderful. Thank you,I now know I'm not,a freak. Thank you,.😊😊😊
As an INFJ, it's harder when a parent's first words when doing something new is "That'll impress them!" I remember thinking "Who cares?" even at a young age. I only wanted to do it my own way so I can better understand it. I never cared if it was "impressive". Most of the time it was followed by "Now do it better." This was the same as "you're not good enough.", so the only thing that mattered was how much I improve myself. I still hear this i my head, even as I approach 50.
I definitely feel okay being on my own because I'm an only child, so spent a lot of time on my own while growing up, so I learned to entertain myself. I have always read books, did creative writing, put on music and danced to it, sometimes sang along to songs, played with my cats. I think a lot of my friends with siblings were flabbergasted that I was okay with spending so much time by myself. They were shocked to learn that I was never bored at all.
We had undeveloped woods and creeks behind our home. Playing along the creeks in the woods was my joyful.
~12.23 There is a difference between being intimidating and intimidating. For example. "Oh, that is a bullion of pure gold. How did that get here and how can they afford that? A recognition of the value and awe that it is within their scope." Versus, "Bow to me because I have access to these bullions of gold and you should be in awe of my influence and posturing." The latter may or may not have access to actual bullions of pure gold. They are doing bluster and bravado making claims of access and entitlement and relying on intimidating or ushering you away before you get to check if it is fools gold, fake bullion, gold-plated, or simply a prop in their fantasy posturing. Real INFJs are not concerned about being tested if they are real bullion. They know they are, and they know in the teeth test, experts will know they are the real thing. Imposters and grifters are concerned because they want the reputation and mirage of wealth and power, without ever having their bluff called.
Thank you Wenzes. You've helped me more than I can explain in short form. Each video removes a weight and flying doesn't feel impossible now. Thank you again.
Since I started listen and see your videos I started fix my life and turn to better life, it is also worth mentioning that I am exploring my world by doing so . Thank you 😊 ❤❤
I find your videos very empowering. Thank you ❤
Brilliant video/channel. Took me far too long to realise this stuff for myself, and here it is all summed up.
My question is, do we intimidate everyone for the rest of our lives? It is exhausting.
I wonder that, too. It seems I get along with people when I first meet them and then they pull away. It makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong. I try to invite them to events, I try to hang out at social events so that I can try to get to know people more, but I find at those events people still hardly talk to me. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. Is it the energy we put out? I agree that it is exhausting.
@@HaleyMary You are speaking my language. I have literally tried everything but to no avail. Sorry to hear you go thru the same as me. Wish we all lived closer to hang out. I'm in Australia.
@@bumblebee_ms I'm in Canada. I wish a lot of us weren't so far away from one another. Imagine an INFJ meetup.
@@HaleyMary That would have been the best meet up ever!!!
@@bumblebee_ms Atleast we can meet here and talk. Let's appreciate that! Shouldn't we? ~INFJ from India :')
I was with my husband for 44years it worked cos he needed his freedom and I need my space ,but one day after being together for 40years he told me that he could never work out what I was thinking.I realised at that point how intimidating I must have been in our relationship ,where most people outside of my relationships think I'm so quiet
Yes, love this! So true! Growing pains and all, I do live to impress myself and that is intimidating to less self-assured individuals. My older sister (an ENTJ I believe) once said, “I really don’t get her… she’s a tough nut to crack.” LOL I took that as a compliment.
11:10 I’ve tried to reexplain in so many ways that I’m not a threat! To which it failed so then I exponentially grew to not give a 🤬 about other’s opinions. 😂Now they’re just deeply confused 😂😂😂 it’s amusing
I simply just love your words❤!
Excellent thank you. As a side note keep your voice volume more consistent. You drop down barely above a whisper at the end of your sentences or main points making important words hard to catch. I could turn the volume up but then the rest of video is too loud. I'm not shading just a friendly fist bump thank you.
My horrible ptsd nightmares have turned into very interesting social intereactions, and scenarios where Im happy to work with other humans, and in some cases, play with them as a friend. I wonder if I can do that irl.
Watching your videos has given me a much deeper understanding of events throughout my life. Always wondered why some people reacted so strongly negative against me. Realizing I'm Sigma and INFJ, thinking it's a strange brew? Learning late in life, driven primarily by extreme triggers tripped during at the pandemic response. Thanks for your enlightenment Wenzes, helping me find perspective...
A whole video could be made about being strategic. We are not only strategic thinkers but I think we are strategic doers
I was especially impressed with #5 - we're very independent. In fact, I think that all the other four point to this.
When I'm new at a job or at a discipline that I haven't tried before, I have no trouble getting input and advice on what to do. But then I have to take what the person tells me and adjust it to my own way of doing things.
I'm less intimidating when I thank people for their input and then let them know that even if it's done in a somewhat different way, their ideas have been taken seriously.
We have to do things our own way when everything's said and done. After all, that's what we were given to work with! 😊
Hi Ms Linda! I don't know if I've been overlooking your comments on the videos lately - but I caught you here - always enjoy your perspective.
Is this a stretch to say your gratitude is a way to soothe their ego? Or you know how quickly you adapt/modify the information to suite you - this will trigger a negative effect? If neither - I am curious on your further thoughts!
wow I did not know i was INFJ . Glad I found you
Expect the unexpected
Thanks!
Love you Wenze
Wow, this is really empowering. Thank you ❤😊
I value you’re analysis wth deep gratitude, coming to understand this bizarre personality trait has in some way freed me from a confused existence, until a few years ago I just didn’t understand my life and the often sad and lonely existence. Now I feel empowered with this understanding
really appreciate your videos ty
Thank you. I needed to hear this 🤔
Thanks Wenzes.
I LOVE her!!!
Thank you 🥰
Ich liebe diese Sendung!
I live life with people being intimidate by me daily. It doesn't help I am heavily tattooed. I've gone through life thinking I would never find people to relate with. I'm starting to think it's just me! I'm me fuck the rest
Just wanted to say. Your channel has really helped gain a better understanding of who I am. It's nice to know there are other ppl that think like me. Thanks for your content!
I just be living in my own world and dnt notice that ppl are intimidated by me until someone tells me and im like oh well 😂 why spend energy on that. And 9 times out of 10 I never liked them anyway 😂
100 % that i am afraid in earth is only im not following God!
I can very feel it.
I folow the time and
Im just finished walking joging coach but i did not see one of God creation in the night which is the moon 🌙 😢
Orange'County,Calif/Me/⚘️Yooo⚘️
🙌My bad, Wenzes. 🤞🤟👍 🧠🤷♂
يالمزيونه حطي لنا ترجمه ❤
I truly hope you have a loving boyfriend.even infjs girls need someone to hold them tight.
The talk of your own truth is clearly the divergent NiFi of the ESFP - not like that's a bad thing at all. INFJs as divergent SeFe types operate within the boundaries of social protocol, especially as an Fe authority type. I find it alarming that you refer to the supposed INFJ as a unique breed; sure on the individual level we're all unique but the point of typology is to elucidate the similarities among us which I'd expect an Fe authority type to do. Just look at the likes of Harry from CPT espousing network theory that posits that we all utilise all the functions contingent upon context & cognitive fluidity. When your stating that a type is intimidating you're rather really referring to personality traits that have nothing to do with cognitive processes. There's just an air of grandiosity to this kind of attached reasoning (the INFJ uses NiTi detached logic) that I can't abide; it's like you're implicitly stating that all types besides the ESFP, your own type, are inferior. Again there's no gatekeeping as to whom is actually an INFJ to get on this bootcamp waiting list; I understand you have a business to run but this just smacks of pseudoscience - this isn't predicated on Jungian typology at all. This is indeed a pseudo INFJ community comprised of many misinformed ESFPs who take tests that they think give them valid results that they are an INFJ or through watching ill informed content relate to it & type themselves accordingly. Remember you're unique & special even as an ESFP - indeed my fiancé is a convergent SeTe ESFP. You don't have to be a social extrovert to be an ESFP; Jungs notion of extroversion is not the same as the big 5s. When I read through the comments I see no NiTi abstract cerebral conceptualisation...Sorry guys none of you are cognitive INFJs. Check out Cognitive Personality Theory to ascertain your true type & start the process of individuation for free. Indeed this isn't a sales pitch you can read Jung & watch CPT content for free. In all truth & no disrespect on Wenzes free content ie her videos she rarely engages with her audience whereas the likes of CPT & Michael Pierce who are INFJs do. If you're paying I'd be maintaining a critical mind as to what you're paying for. Sure Wenzes who has similar personality traits of experiences may share her life wisdom & help you in some regard but from the perspective of being an INFJ, no this isn't the case. She's not an INFJ & you're not an INFJ & that's fine, there's nothing to be ashamed of by being an equally wonderful cognitive type. Authenticity is clearly divergent NiFi of the ESFP - if you don't believe me then look it up on CPT. Success to the INFJ is utilising their NiTi abstract cerebral logic to help in service of humanity...most INFJs will utilise a medium such as philosophy to do this which is clearly not what Wenzes is doing. What Wenzes is doing isn't wrong but it's simply not the INFJ. Indeed ESFPs have blind NiTi...you might be outside the box socially speaking but theoretically I'm sorry this isn't the case...your espousing a lot of self help by ESFPs that have came before you, which again, isn't a bad thing. Can't you just rename the channel 'life advice for ESFPs' or something along them lines? Why do you hold on to being an INFJ so deeply when you don't know or understand Jungian theory to begin with? Where's your grounding in Jungian theory Wenzes? I doubt I'll get a response like I do from CPT etc if I've posed critiques that have been none combative in nature. Indeed I doubt you read most of your comments anyway. Jes everybody is playing a game? Why do you espouse such a negative view of humanity & other cognitive types? I've met a diverse array of cognitive types on the CPT discord server & this certainly isn't my experience. You're clearly a divergent NiFi (the realm of authority, the backbone of cognition) ESFP, be at peace with it & expand your cognitive pathways to understand other people better & types. Wenzes you don't get burnt out quickly your cognition is clearly reactive & that of an extrovert given the inordinate amount of time & consistency you post videos compared to the likes of actual INFJ channels. In saying that we're all composites of both it's just that yours is primarily reactive again which doesn't imply a value judgement. And yes SeTe is strategic thinking in fact INFJs actually struggle with this! As a TiNi user this is where we differ I actually do take feedback from others seriously, I'm interested in their perspectives. And on that note feel free to leave a comment below if you have an queries or insights. As I've said before INFJs do not read people emotionally well they infer via logical deduction how someone might be feeling - again this is Jungian theory. ESFPs aren't the best at doing this as well but they do fair better than some types. I'm very clear with my motives & intentions which I don't think you know how to take. I don't like pseudoscience & I don't like people making money off of it as a typologist & mental health prof. It's as simple as that. ESFPs like anyone else can have good or bad intentions this has nothing to do with cognition; I'm afraid you're in the same boat as everyone else. You clearly utilise Fi attached logic - nothing wrong with that but you need to expand your cognitive pathways & holding onto this fictional notion of being a special INFJ predicated on ubiquitous behavioural stereotypes isn't helping you at all. 'Get used to the fact that you are intimidating to other people,' this is poor advice; we need to be bolstering understanding between people & breaking boundaries not distancing ourselves from people we perceive as different too us. I negativistic attitude never got anyone anywhere; I get how people might be momentarily angry at the world indeed I've felt that which isn't unique to any cognitive type. Nice sales pitch at the end...there's no such thing as an INFJ epic life in Jungian terms there's only the process of individuation which you seem to be antithetical too & would rather live inside of the box of being a divergent ESFP for life. Don't say I didn't warn you folks; I'm sure consciously Wenzes means no harm but you have to engage critically with this content before you put your hard earned money into something that isn't scientifically verified.
You wrote all of that just to say "I can't relate"😂😂
@@Thereal_Vincii yeah and that is thorough throughout their responses across cluster of videos
❤❤❤
💪🖤
It’s bothering…
Please stop sending psychopathic messages. Making people with low self esteem think they are intimidating is not empowering them, it is rather a very toxic inoculation. Please stop taking advantage of all the people who have issues.
introverts don’t have low self esteem, it’s the extroverts that seek validation from their peers - meaning extroverts are the most insecure
Are you hearing voices in your head?
Number 4 - being able to read people blew my mind the first time I heard it and it’s the biggest thing I keep coming back to: making myself small to protect others feelings, image, way of thinking etc. I kept and still catch myself dimming my light unconsciously, because I’m reading someone else so easily like it should be visible to everybody else as well. It’s so internalized I don’t even realize how much I adapt my own behavior because of what I read from another person.
It’s frustrating but understanding what’s happening is lifesaving.
Thank you Wenzes - you seriously turned my life around completely 🤍