Thanks for watching this video. Hope you're staying safe and well. If you want to check out Connect and Commit, here's the link for that: modernlove.life/connect-and-commit
Hi Clay , you are really amazing ! After 5 years of our divorce , he just asked me what I’m gonna do in this summer ? He said he was thinking if we can go on for short vacation together ? 😁 we got a 13 year old kid together . But like you said he is not really 💯 open just kind of flirt a bit and sometimes hit and cold . Wow you re top coach Clay ! We married for 14 years .and I left him cuz he was really immature in that time so hard to deal with him. Thanks lot for sharing. Bisou from Paris 🙏🏻😘
If my ex LDR expresses these things I would be so happy it would be the greatest news! I'll be on the first plane available!! this woman doesn't know how much she is loved and missed!!
Yea the only problem for me is that her best friend is obsessed with me and that’s why we broke up in the first place so I’m in a weird situation because we both still have feelings for each other
My ex moved away last October, will be back this August and she is doing 4/5 of these things. She doesn't flirt with me much, but we sometimes reminisce on memories saying "hey this was a great day" and "we should do this again for old times sake" , said she always has a great time with me, I'm the only person who calms her down, brings her a lot of comfort etc.. I'll be working at the hospital in 3 months on the frontline of this pandemic and she said me doing that is "hot" ... we planned yday to watch a horror movie over netflix party tonight too!.. thing is she has a BF who she really likes.. ? They started off long distance 2 months ago. She broke up with me last April, but we ended up dating and falling in love again later last year, but she never wanted to commit, we acted like bf and gf... but end of 2019 she said she couldnt do it with me anymore and had feelings for him and was quick to end it... she said last yr she was "confused" and was mistaking comfort with being in love with me.. but it seemed genuine at the time yet she overlooks it all the time now, like it was nothing... all my friends say she clearly has feelings for me but she always insists she only sees me as a friend.. what could be going on here? If i was her bf, I would be very uncomfortable with her and my "friendship".. do I just keep going on as I am? I think I am pretty good at creating an emotional spark between us, which I think we do sort of have atm
my previous ex, started following and adding my past ex girlfriend and she’s jealous with her the whole time, when we’re still together. is that a good sign?
Hey clay my name is Alejandro and I still have feelings for my ex-wife we’ve been separated for over 12 years how would I know if she still interested in me and what should I do I haven’t been dating anybody for the 12 years all I’ve been doing is working I’ve been abstinence I haven’t been intimate with nobody I truly believe she’s my soulmate what can I do should I make the first move break the ice I’m 58 years old alone what should I do how should I proceed.
We been broke up 2 months we started chatting 3 days ago but not like let’s get back together just a lot of I’m sorry for this and I’m sorry for that and I regret this and regret that a lot of clearing the bad we both did we doing to breakfast kiss he said he loves me but he isn’t pushing like to see me but we have been chatting daily
Hi clay! Your videos have helped me stay positive! I appreciate you! I was getting very depressed and watching these videos have lifted my spirts. I have a question. What if my ex makes plans with me for the future like going on a trip together but then 2 days later backs out saying her friend wants a girls only trip instead, she’s done this twice in a a row now. I don’t know if she’s interested in getting back together, or like she is at first but gets nervous and makes up an excuse why she can’t go with me, I don’t know what’s going on. Any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks again!
Hi there. it's great to hear that our videos have helped you during the tough times. :-) To be honest, we really can't get inside what your ex truly think and we don't want to assume things just to fill in the gap. But we'd rather recommend to trust her especially when she said that her friends wanted to have a "girl only" trip. Maybe you can plan something together in the future instead?
Thanks again, I have one more question, when she asks how I’m doing through text (which she does at least once a week) should I keep lying and say “I’m doing good” or tell her the truth and say “ I’ve been miserable ever since we broke up” ?
So, once again I initiated contact. She was very open I guess, telling me whats happening in her life. Nothing really personal. At the end of the text conversation I asked if we could talk on the phone Sat night, this Sat, 5/2. She didnt answer at first but said I will let you know. I feel she will answer flat out, but more likely not say anything. Anyone with an idea or opinion?
Hi Tom, it seems like she kept her options open. So just practice present moment awareness and maybe once she has the emotional capability to really connect with you, she may agree to have that phone conversation.
Me and my ex Broke up 4 months ago. She lost interest and love for me and the way she talks to me , it seems like she hate me the most. Now she love someone else and in a relationship with this so called best friend ( this is the guy who caused our break up . He manipulated her and my ex felt in his trap) Now she doesn't want to talk to me and she told me not to bother her. She wants to stay with her own way. She's super stubborn and doesn't want to her anything from me.. We had an amazing relationship. We both saw the spark. But somes mistakes pushed her way from me... She know i how much i love her. How can i get her back? How to handle this rebound relationship ? How should i talk to her?
@@pisyaphets2554 it's been a year since we haven't seen each other. She's with her bf now may be. We last talked 4 months ago I guess. Now it's up to God and our luck. I let her live her life and I'm living mine. Still miss her... Don't know what will happen in the future
Hi Alex Good Nights From Singapore! Can A Guy Returns To The First Woman He Left Behind Or Ghosted Or Silent? Will He Open His Heart To Be With The Woman & Plan A New Relationahip Or Hope With Her? What If The Guy Is Really Interested & Wanting To Invest With The Woman To Build A New Relationship & Try To Date Her Two Or Five Dates With The Woman The Guy Wants To Have A Real Or Good Happy Family's He Dreams Of? Can Feeling's Develops Over Time Or Can A Guy Be Emotional With The Woman He Adores Or Like In A Quiet Way Or The Guy Is So Shy Or Timid To Asked A Woman Out To Date?
Miscommunication can be incredibly frustrating and disheartening. It sounds like you're in a tough spot. When it feels like everything you say is received wrong, it might help to take a step back and reassess the approach.
Hi Johnny, inorder for a person to open up, it would depend on the questions that we ask and how we formulate those questions. We cover that inside the "Contacting Your Ex" lesson inside our Ex Solution Program. :-)
I'm sure u already know the answer to this question but as humans we always want to hear someone else's opinion. U can never ask someone to open up or to show interest. Don't worry I'm telling this out of common sense but although I know this, I still find myself in the situation requesting more effort. But u can't request effort.
my ex did all 5 of these when we met up a month ago.... and he was really emotional (crying hard) bc he missed me. However he still~ wanted to stay single but he really wanted me in his life as a “friend” but we weren’t acting like friends. I’m so confused :(
All or nothing...tell him you want a relationship or you're willing to walk away if he does not. And as you have feelings for him it's too difficult to be friends. But if he changes his mind and you're still available then you can try again. But only if you're actually prepared to walk away. I've walked away from people i truly loved because I had to choose to love myself first.
Mama T this is pretty much what I did. I can’t handle knowing he’s with the fugly monkey branch he left me for. I tried to be just friends for a bit but it was to painful for me. It’s all or nothing now. He will probably never come back, I just hope karma is served.
Hey what does it mean if they say they love me and we just need to let time pass?? Our relationship dynamics were pretty fd up and i kinda was behind in life (only 23 and was still finding my way) but now i know and made major developments. He says he sees that ive changed and sometimes he flirts and talks sweet but then we both know its broken but still there are feelings i reach out to him and he always responds but sometimes he is really flirty other times not but he says he does not want it right now... Do i still have a chance? What do i do??
Hi MinaLila. it's great to know that you have made changes. For sure, your ex had definitely seen that. "letting time pass" may mean giving yourselves space from each other so that you can think about what both of you want out of your relationship, so that when you do come back together again on whatever length of time feels right for both of you, it will be because both of you are ready for something deeper than what either of you had before. You can always send us an email at hello@modernlove.life and let's talk about your journey. :-)
My ex won' even talk to me..she said that i do not talk to her and she will reach out to me when she's ready..now she is stuborn and won' t reply.. and it's been almost 5 months.. i was tought that you must fight for what you love and i do not know what to do..
Hey @the dude, I'm sorry to hear about what happened. It seems like your ex is at the Wall of Reactance phase. It is best to respect her wishes for space for now as she may not have the emotional capability to connect with you yet. The best thing that you can do is focus on applying Active No Contact and honing the Advanced Relational Skills. :-)
@@ClayAndrews thank you a lot Clay..it gives me strenght to continue on my path to getting her back. I've done all my "homework" from your channel, and have improved a lot.. I can wait longer, no problem, because i know when i get her back i will do all the things right😉
She talks to me, she forgave me yesterday as I forgave her the day before. We told each other we loved one another in the relationship. I told her we couldn't be friends but she came back saying that she wants to stay friends.. I'm thinking about laying low in the background.. Any thoughts Clay?
Hey there, the question that you may ask for yourself is that, will you be emotionally ready to become friends with her at this moment? Or do you still need some time to process your own emotions and detach yourself from any form of attachment from the past?
@@ClayAndrews he also told me dat, he is regretting everything dat he did, n he was like he doesn't knw whether he will ever find a lady like me. Me I just told him dat everything will b ouk. He also told me dat he is sick buh may be he was seeking sympathy, I told him u will b fyn
nothing it's a long distance breakup during a pandemic. I gave him 1 year of no contact ..... I focus on my mental health, be happy, show on social media although he doesn't use any.went into no contact after he had the last say. I only broke no contact once this New Years and he only replied in kindness, wishing me all the best. what do I do at this point since it has been 2 months ago after breaking no contact. no reply....
I have a question? My ex gf has had a card of mine that I know she has and used after she broke up with me and ive been asking for the other day I told her I needed it and she text me saying ok I have it for u , but I know she has it I sent it to her house and I know she has it so why would she not say come get it or were an she meet me to give it to me ???
Hi Dan, We may not be able to tell the exact reason why but we have to understand that once we broke up with the person, there will always be a tendency that they will guard themselves and their emotions. We can only assume that she may not be ready to see you in person given her reluctance. Again, that is just an assumption because at the end of the day, it's just your ex that holds the truth behind her choices.
me and my wife are separated and have been for almost 3 months. she still hasn't filed for divorce yet. she is in a relationship. I came and picked her up from her work on her lunch and we went to lunch together. she told me that a customer had hit on her and he asked her if she had a man and she said kinda. she said he asked if she was seeing anyone and she said sorta/kinda. then she said he asked if it was serious and she said no. then she said he asked for her number and she said she didn't give it to him. why would she tell me these things?
Hi @daddyDooZah Gaming, Thanks for sharing. Since technically you are still married, she still has that level of comfort in sharing some things that she may be going through. How did you handle the conversation?
Clay Andrews I let her talk and didn’t get upset about it. She said tonight she don’t know why she keeps putting off the divorce. I am just so confused with everything.
We divorced that same year, about a few days before our actual wedding anniversary funny enough. If you’re watching this then I assume you’re going through something similar.
@@ClayAndrews Of course i did healthy boundaries but she was kinda mad girl she reach out to me 2 times on Facebook but not messaged me yet even she gives me some flashing signals
Thanks for watching this video. Hope you're staying safe and well. If you want to check out Connect and Commit, here's the link for that: modernlove.life/connect-and-commit
thanks
Hey Clay, 👋
Thank you for your videos they have helped me in moving forward in my personal growth and with understanding my ex.
They could also lie about them seeing other ppl but telling u they aren't lol
Hi Clay , you are really amazing ! After 5 years of our divorce , he just asked me what I’m gonna do in this summer ? He said he was thinking if we can go on for short vacation together ? 😁 we got a 13 year old kid together . But like you said he is not really 💯 open just kind of flirt a bit and sometimes hit and cold . Wow you re top coach Clay ! We married for 14 years .and I left him cuz he was really immature in that time so hard to deal with him. Thanks lot for sharing. Bisou from Paris 🙏🏻😘
Update?
Thanks clay I watch these videos when I’m on the brink of disaster and you truly make me feel better bro I love you bro
If my ex LDR expresses these things I would be so happy it would be the greatest news!
I'll be on the first plane available!! this woman doesn't know how much she is loved and missed!!
Yea the only problem for me is that her best friend is obsessed with me and that’s why we broke up in the first place so I’m in a weird situation because we both still have feelings for each other
My ex moved away last October, will be back this August and she is doing 4/5 of these things. She doesn't flirt with me much, but we sometimes reminisce on memories saying "hey this was a great day" and "we should do this again for old times sake" , said she always has a great time with me, I'm the only person who calms her down, brings her a lot of comfort etc.. I'll be working at the hospital in 3 months on the frontline of this pandemic and she said me doing that is "hot" ... we planned yday to watch a horror movie over netflix party tonight too!.. thing is she has a BF who she really likes.. ? They started off long distance 2 months ago. She broke up with me last April, but we ended up dating and falling in love again later last year, but she never wanted to commit, we acted like bf and gf... but end of 2019 she said she couldnt do it with me anymore and had feelings for him and was quick to end it... she said last yr she was "confused" and was mistaking comfort with being in love with me.. but it seemed genuine at the time yet she overlooks it all the time now, like it was nothing... all my friends say she clearly has feelings for me but she always insists she only sees me as a friend.. what could be going on here? If i was her bf, I would be very uncomfortable with her and my "friendship".. do I just keep going on as I am? I think I am pretty good at creating an emotional spark between us, which I think we do sort of have atm
She used you
I'm here because he says he misses my body, I still love him and I'm not really sure what to do :/
my previous ex, started following and adding my past ex girlfriend and she’s jealous with her the whole time, when we’re still together. is that a good sign?
Hey clay my name is Alejandro and I still have feelings for my ex-wife we’ve been separated for over 12 years how would I know if she still interested in me and what should I do I haven’t been dating anybody for the 12 years all I’ve been doing is working I’ve been abstinence I haven’t been intimate with nobody I truly believe she’s my soulmate what can I do should I make the first move break the ice I’m
58 years old alone what should I do how should I proceed.
We been broke up 2 months we started chatting 3 days ago but not like let’s get back together just a lot of I’m sorry for this and I’m sorry for that and I regret this and regret that a lot of clearing the bad we both did we doing to breakfast kiss he said he loves me but he isn’t pushing like to see me but we have been chatting daily
Hi clay! Your videos have helped me stay positive! I appreciate you! I was getting very depressed and watching these videos have lifted my spirts. I have a question. What if my ex makes plans with me for the future like going on a trip together but then 2 days later backs out saying her friend wants a girls only trip instead, she’s done this twice in a a row now. I don’t know if she’s interested in getting back together, or like she is at first but gets nervous and makes up an excuse why she can’t go with me, I don’t know what’s going on. Any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks again!
Hi there. it's great to hear that our videos have helped you during the tough times. :-) To be honest, we really can't get inside what your ex truly think and we don't want to assume things just to fill in the gap. But we'd rather recommend to trust her especially when she said that her friends wanted to have a "girl only" trip. Maybe you can plan something together in the future instead?
Thanks again, I have one more question, when she asks how I’m doing through text (which she does at least once a week) should I keep lying and say “I’m doing good” or tell her the truth and say “ I’ve been miserable ever since we broke up” ?
So, once again I initiated contact. She was very open I guess, telling me whats happening in her life. Nothing really personal. At the end of the text conversation I asked if we could talk on the phone Sat night, this Sat, 5/2. She didnt answer at first but said I will let you know. I feel she will answer flat out, but more likely not say anything. Anyone with an idea or opinion?
Hi Tom, it seems like she kept her options open. So just practice present moment awareness and maybe once she has the emotional capability to really connect with you, she may agree to have that phone conversation.
Me and my ex Broke up 4 months ago. She lost interest and love for me and the way she talks to me , it seems like she hate me the most.
Now she love someone else and in a relationship with this so called best friend ( this is the guy who caused our break up . He manipulated her and my ex felt in his trap)
Now she doesn't want to talk to me and she told me not to bother her. She wants to stay with her own way.
She's super stubborn and doesn't want to her anything from me..
We had an amazing relationship. We both saw the spark.
But somes mistakes pushed her way from me... She know i how much i love her.
How can i get her back? How to handle this rebound relationship ?
How should i talk to her?
did u guys get back together?
@@pisyaphets2554 it's been a year since we haven't seen each other. She's with her bf now may be.
We last talked 4 months ago I guess.
Now it's up to God and our luck. I let her live her life and I'm living mine. Still miss her... Don't know what will happen in the future
What do I do if my ex is doing pretty much all these signs but said she just wants us to be friends and sees me as her closest friend
Hi Alex Good Nights From Singapore! Can A Guy Returns To The First Woman He Left Behind Or Ghosted Or Silent? Will He Open His Heart To Be With The Woman & Plan A New Relationahip Or Hope With Her? What If The Guy Is Really Interested & Wanting To Invest With The Woman To Build A New Relationship & Try To Date Her Two Or Five Dates With The Woman The Guy Wants To Have A Real Or Good Happy Family's He Dreams Of? Can Feeling's Develops Over Time Or Can A Guy Be Emotional With The Woman He Adores Or Like In A Quiet Way Or The Guy Is So Shy Or Timid To Asked A Woman Out To Date?
Does plans, also mean like going somewhere in a week or going out with friends in a week. Plans that are in a spand of 1-2weeks
My ex calls me once in a month after break up.. what does that mean? Is he interested in me again?
How do you have communication when it is received wrong. It does not seem like i can say anything right.
Miscommunication can be incredibly frustrating and disheartening. It sounds like you're in a tough spot. When it feels like everything you say is received wrong, it might help to take a step back and reassess the approach.
Should I ask her to open up more or just wait for it to happen naturally
Hi Johnny, inorder for a person to open up, it would depend on the questions that we ask and how we formulate those questions. We cover that inside the "Contacting Your Ex" lesson inside our Ex Solution Program. :-)
I'm sure u already know the answer to this question but as humans we always want to hear someone else's opinion. U can never ask someone to open up or to show interest. Don't worry I'm telling this out of common sense but although I know this, I still find myself in the situation requesting more effort.
But u can't request effort.
my ex did all 5 of these when we met up a month ago.... and he was really emotional (crying hard) bc he missed me. However he still~ wanted to stay single but he really wanted me in his life as a “friend” but we weren’t acting like friends. I’m so confused :(
All or nothing...tell him you want a relationship or you're willing to walk away if he does not. And as you have feelings for him it's too difficult to be friends. But if he changes his mind and you're still available then you can try again.
But only if you're actually prepared to walk away. I've walked away from people i truly loved because I had to choose to love myself first.
Don't be friends with your ex
Mama T this is pretty much what I did. I can’t handle knowing he’s with the fugly monkey branch he left me for. I tried to be just friends for a bit but it was to painful for me. It’s all or nothing now. He will probably never come back, I just hope karma is served.
What if your ex stares at you for minutes
I think she misses you
Hey what does it mean if they say they love me and we just need to let time pass?? Our relationship dynamics were pretty fd up and i kinda was behind in life (only 23 and was still finding my way) but now i know and made major developments. He says he sees that ive changed and sometimes he flirts and talks sweet but then we both know its broken but still there are feelings i reach out to him and he always responds but sometimes he is really flirty other times not but he says he does not want it right now... Do i still have a chance? What do i do??
Hi MinaLila. it's great to know that you have made changes. For sure, your ex had definitely seen that. "letting time pass" may mean giving yourselves space from each other so that you can think about what both of you want out of your relationship, so that when you do come back together again on whatever length of time feels right for both of you, it will be because both of you are ready for something deeper than what either of you had before.
You can always send us an email at hello@modernlove.life and let's talk about your journey. :-)
My ex won' even talk to me..she said that i do not talk to her and she will reach out to me when she's ready..now she is stuborn and won' t reply.. and it's been almost 5 months.. i was tought that you must fight for what you love and i do not know what to do..
Hey @the dude, I'm sorry to hear about what happened. It seems like your ex is at the Wall of Reactance phase. It is best to respect her wishes for space for now as she may not have the emotional capability to connect with you yet. The best thing that you can do is focus on applying Active No Contact and honing the Advanced Relational Skills. :-)
@@ClayAndrews thank you a lot Clay..it gives me strenght to continue on my path to getting her back. I've done all my "homework" from your channel, and have improved a lot.. I can wait longer, no problem, because i know when i get her back i will do all the things right😉
She talks to me, she forgave me yesterday as I forgave her the day before. We told each other we loved one another in the relationship. I told her we couldn't be friends but she came back saying that she wants to stay friends.. I'm thinking about laying low in the background.. Any thoughts Clay?
Hey there, the question that you may ask for yourself is that, will you be emotionally ready to become friends with her at this moment? Or do you still need some time to process your own emotions and detach yourself from any form of attachment from the past?
Oh after 1month of no contact he asked me wheather I moved on
Hi Sarah, so how did your conversation go? What was your reply to his question?
@@ClayAndrews u knw am at a university, so I told him that am so busy with books I have got no time for dat
@@ClayAndrews he also told me dat, he is regretting everything dat he did, n he was like he doesn't knw whether he will ever find a lady like me. Me I just told him dat everything will b ouk. He also told me dat he is sick buh may be he was seeking sympathy, I told him u will b fyn
nothing
it's a long distance breakup during a pandemic. I gave him 1 year of no contact ..... I focus on my mental health, be happy, show on social media although he doesn't use any.went into no contact after he had the last say. I only broke no contact once this New Years and he only replied in kindness, wishing me all the best. what do I do at this point since it has been 2 months ago after breaking no contact. no reply....
Hey dear it works for me I got back my ex within 48 hours
+ 1 2 1 3 8 7 8 0 0 2 4
What's
He is indeed a problem solver
Clay r u an INFP?
I have a question? My ex gf has had a card of mine that I know she has and used after she broke up with me and ive been asking for the other day I told her I needed it and she text me saying ok I have it for u , but I know she has it I sent it to her house and I know she has it so why would she not say come get it or were an she meet me to give it to me ???
Hi Dan, We may not be able to tell the exact reason why but we have to understand that once we broke up with the person, there will always be a tendency that they will guard themselves and their emotions. We can only assume that she may not be ready to see you in person given her reluctance. Again, that is just an assumption because at the end of the day, it's just your ex that holds the truth behind her choices.
Hello dear do you need help to bring your ex back?
+ 1 2 1 3 8 7 8 0 0 2 4
What's
He is indeed a problem solver
me and my wife are separated and have been for almost 3 months. she still hasn't filed for divorce yet. she is in a relationship. I came and picked her up from her work on her lunch and we went to lunch together. she told me that a customer had hit on her and he asked her if she had a man and she said kinda. she said he asked if she was seeing anyone and she said sorta/kinda. then she said he asked if it was serious and she said no. then she said he asked for her number and she said she didn't give it to him. why would she tell me these things?
Hi @daddyDooZah Gaming, Thanks for sharing. Since technically you are still married, she still has that level of comfort in sharing some things that she may be going through. How did you handle the conversation?
Clay Andrews I let her talk and didn’t get upset about it. She said tonight she don’t know why she keeps putting off the divorce. I am just so confused with everything.
Update?
We divorced that same year, about a few days before our actual wedding anniversary funny enough. If you’re watching this then I assume you’re going through something similar.
FYI, we still have Covid in 2023.
What if I'm friendzoned with her and doing No Contact?
Hi Riste, I'm curious, have you set healthy boundaries when you were doing Active No Contact?
@@ClayAndrews Of course i did healthy boundaries but she was kinda mad girl she reach out to me 2 times on Facebook but not messaged me yet even she gives me some flashing signals
What about younger men and older women
Same concept will still be applicable, @shortylove :-)