what happened. | MILES BONSIGNORE
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- Опубликовано: 28 апр 2024
- SO. Miles has been busy lately - ya know, not just dealing with the ....THING thats been happening over at the try guys....but also launching his own podcast PERFECT PERSON, producing the hit podcasts at Try Guys studios (GUILTY PLEASURES INCLUDED), and finding a way to direct/be creative/PROCESS GRIEF?! This pod really gets to know who MILES is beyond what you see on screen! AND THERES LAUGHS TOO, WOULD YA BELIEVE?!
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SNL skit downplayed the big issue of the Boss/employee dynamic. Its wasnt just a bad take ...it ignored the important big glaring facts.
they have a bunch of abuse allegations swept under the rug, its not surprising they ignored the issue
It wouldn't surprise me if Ned had his hand in that tbh.
Workplace violations have been always swept under the rug in television, and I'm not surprised. Remember Ellen? There were workplace violation allegations that Ellen denied until Buzzfeed exposed them. NBC is pretty weird on their take on the try guys issue and idk why
@@KitKalico his friend that works for SNL definitely had some influence in that skit
@@bloomxlily he has a friend in snl?
“Do people think the issue with Bill Clinton is that he CHEATED??” Lmao
I think some people do, unfortunately.
Brilliant!
explain please
@@acemorris6535 oh, so it was the power dynamic. got it.
@@acemorris6535 White House Intern, but yes
“I have seen *people* announce *their baby* like it’s a fucking. piece. of merch.”
The way I SCREAMED. Love you Miles. Make more content, I will consume it.
What time did he say that because I feel like I missed it??
@@sarahwenger4479 around 35:30
Is it a Ned reference or like a Kardashian reference?
@@lushiousification I think it’s easily both and that’s the best thing.
trisha paytas lol
Not to start drama, but SOMEONE said in a podcast once that they had a FRIEND AS WRITER FOR SNL and then to SNL do a poor job like that to minimize the whole situation like NO ONE on the whole internet is doing, you can tell SOMEONE called his friend to make this shit happen.
To ADD to this theory, there’s also a certain other celebrity who got famous for loving is wife and then cheated, who used to write for SNL and is still an SNL darling.. so there’s added benefit to downplay this scenario when comparisons are being drawn!! That’s my theory on why Lorne might’ve approved the sketch lmao
Alison gates, head writer in snl, graduated yale at 2011, ned graduated yale at 2009, they might be friends I think 🤔
I mean, I know this whole situation was a big deal to fans but I think it’s pretty telling that SNL would have done anything related to this AT ALL because it has to be such a niche topic to regular SNL viewers right? Part of the “joke” was the actual cast members not know wtf they were talking about, so I feel like they would never have even covered it if not for someone on staff having more of a vested interest…. Like Adam Levine makes sense, but internet comedians who you need to explain so in-depth for the joke to even somewhat mean anything? What? Odd
@@hannahbanana687 They release the names of the sketch writers on Sunday, it was confirmed that is was in fact Ned's friend , Will Stephen, who wrote the sketch (we some a few other writers as well of course).
And now it all makes sense.
“Everything happens for a reason” is shit and I’m happy to hear someone else say it. I’ve had two stillborn babies and that’s a very common response when people find out about it and it pisses me off. No. There was no good reason for my babies to die and no one can convince me there is.
I’m so sorry this happened to you 😢 I send you all the love and I hope you have a healthy and happy baby soon xx
I am sorry for your loss . I lost my sibling and as much as it broke me I could see how much it broke my parents. During this time I discovered a beautiful Sanskrit word "Vilomah" which means against natural order and is used a lot for parents who have lost a child
My condolences for your lost. It’s very inappropriate to say that for someone who has has suck a random and tragic death. It serves no good! And no one should ever say that as a silence filler. When I lost my grandma, someone brashly said, oh that’s okay because she was older. It would be more tragic is it was a younger person. I still hate them.
While it makes obvious sense, she was almost 100. it’s my fucking parent! I was totally broken when she tried to minimize my grief. I can’t even begin to understand how much worse it would be for you who has carried your babies to hear someone minimize that kind of loss.
My heart cries for you and I hope there is a rainbow in your horizon (if you wish for it).
❤❤❤
I'm sorry you've had to experience that. My mom had three stillborns and it almost broke her. I hate that phrase too when it's said as if it's a good thing. To me it means more like say I take the last apple, now the person after me can't have one. "Everything happens for a reason" the reason being I have the apple so they can't. Cause and effect kind of thing.
Some things happen for a reason, but not that, and what a fucking awful thing to say to someone who has gone through that. I know I'm sorry doesn't help, but I am sorry you had to go through that, I can't even imagine the pain.
Yup, as a white woman with access to money, Kelsey can’t blanket tell people that college is a waste of time. For most of us, specially first-gen and people of color, college created access to pathways otherwise we would not have had the ability to even think of. Thanks,
Miles, for sharing!!
💯
But it also creates debt that is debilitating for many there's no right answer
THIS. People in my community are stuck often at the levels and areas that their parents had or at best data entry positions if they have citizenship. I got lucky and got an Ivy League scholarship and you have no idea how many opportunities are only hiring people with Ivy League degrees so they can charge a higher price! I get it if you don’t use your degree it can seem like a waste, but it opens doors some of us didn’t have befoew
Ya'll keep bringing up race as if white people can never be poor or homeless. Stfu.
It has nothing to do with being white, and everything to do with spendable income.
Kelsey’s view on academia almost made me mad lol
College is not for everyone but let’s not forget how much of a privilege it is to be able to literally spent four years focusing on learning. College teaches you that you should be second guessing & fact checking everything you learn.
And tbh TikTok is filled with soooo much misinformation, that I have to constantly research (and I learn more through the research of it than the actual tik tok)
please don’t tell kids it’s as good of an education as college 😅😂
Wow !!! That’s so wild to think people would think tik tok is like going to collage what kind of crazy mind set is that I would be mad too
I disagree, I entered University with better critical thinking skills than I exited with. I was also completely unprepared for my job because despite having the perfect degree for my job it was in no way job training.
Unless you are rolling in cash University degrees hold very little value in either job training or education. Most people tend to actually be better educated by living and having experiences.
I find the hubris of putting University degrees on a pedestal as if people can't take in information and question it without higher education. The lab I work in has to put a literacy and math test in front of resume submissions because we hired people with degrees who are functionally illiterate and can't do basic math despite holding a 4 year degree. The quality of higher education has gotten worse the more expensive it is. I know a plumber significantly better at math than his wife who is a teacher.
Education means nothing if the person who holds the paper is arrogant and ignorant.
Not disagreeing, just adding that college also leaves a lot to be desired for people with learning disabilities. I have dyscalculia, and adhd, and it was like my iep didn’t exist as soon as I was in the college system. No support, no compassion, and no alternatives.
It honestly wouldn't be hard for til tok toks to cite their research 🤷🏻♀️
academia is literally so important. we do not need to, and absolutely CANNOT, do away with it. the way it currently is is absolutely elitist and classist and ableist and all those things desperately need to change but you make changes like that from the inside. everyone deserves equal access to academia because education is freedom.
i loved Miles's Clinton analogy and that's exactly why the SNL skit was dumb, yeah you can make fun of no-one knowing who they are but this just puts them in a bad light and ignores the real culprit, I feel sorry for the 3 try guys that they will never be perceived with an untainted look again and this is the start of that 😥
Exactly!! How do they not see it
And it’s stupid too cuz a million consistent views over years isn’t “nobodies”. It’s more than a lot of traditional tv shows get nowadays.
The tri-guys 😏
maybe they shouldn't have talked about the private thing between Ned and Ariel in public? They basciallly drew tons of attention to the matter - private matter that should be dealt in private by this family.
@@skaania the attention was already there
Miles calling kelsey out on making broad, general statements for everyone that really only apply to her is refreshing bc that is the one thing that always gets to me when i hear her on podcasts bc it feels very erasing (even though i don't think she would want to erase other people's identities and experiences if she thought about it)
Agreed!!
Yes!!! Kelsey if u see this -- you are INCREDIBLE! But this is the thing that’s really hard to hear, and happens often! Have your opinions on patterns on peoples lives - but the way u conclude about it is SOOO overgeneralized and assertive in a “this is the only right conclusion” kind of way that it ends up making the core of your point moot to many ppl. Like I’ll agree with your sentiment often times (or want to validate that pov), but then how u over-assert that makes people turn off to that point all together. I mean this truthfully - I hope u can watch back some of those kinds of moments and catch yourself in how ur enthusiasm can translate into cockiness. U rock, and I hope this makes sense!
fr, i was like this is such a privileged take and i hate it
Yes! You worded it beautifully. I think I struggled to get into podcasts that feature Kelsey for this reason but having Miles to balance out is great! Miles did such a good job.
Yes, I am a college/career counselor for underrepresented students and I’m tired of influencers with privileged backgrounds making these broad statements! The math is still there that a degree matters. I get so mad when I hear this, college isn’t for everyone-but no one should be telling kids that it shouldn’t be for them.
I took away two things from the SNL skit. 1) They clearly have unsafe work relations all the time 2) Ned’s writer friend laughed at Ariel’s pain on national tv
Best thing anyone said to me after my dad died: "That sucks." So simple, didn't try to draw any deeper meaning, just acknowledged that it was an awful thing. Absolutely hated people saying it happened for a reason, that god needed an angel, or that my dad was smiling down on me. No no no.
I could have written this myself when my dad died when I was 16. Except to add that people were always telling me “it’s okay to cry.” Like okay I cry all the time at home I don’t also want to cry in front of you, random acquaintance 😕
Yeah same. Then proceed to say a dumb awkward joke. It was just the acknowledgement that yes it was sad, and the thought that they wanted to make it better, but not forcefully.
@@MissCaraMint Following my dad's death, and even today, my mom and I would make jokes about his death. Not in like a, "haha he's dead!" kind of way, but jokes about burning off a lot of weight (he was cremated) and things like that. Some people found it really morbid and horrible, but it was a way to cope with the most painful thing that's ever happened to me.
@@rachelwhitbeck2421 humor’s the only way I’ve coped w/ grief as well 🤍
Same
I want a Miles and Kelsey podcast regularly PLEASE. Miles' dad energy lecturing Kelsey about why college is important is *chef's kiss*.
I gasped and giggled at his "this is your problem Kelsey, you're not listening" lol. I get the feeling he puts a lot of boundaries around his interactions with Kelsey, and she receives them well!
Same!!!
Yes i love their interactions! She’s so spunky and he’s so dad and you can tell they have a great relationship
Miles definitely helped balance out that last bit. I genuinely don’t think I would’ve been able to listen through Kelsey making generalisations about college without Miles (or someone with his energy) gently but firmly calling her out on her points. I’m glad *both* of them got to have a laugh out of it too - I think it’s good to be able to have conversations with people like that.
College saved me! Thank you Miles for explaining how school isn’t for everybody, but how life changing it is for some ppl. I use my degree every day and get paid well because of it. Definitely sounded like a personal problem and it made me sad how she tried to diminish his degrees. Maybe that’s her personality and I am overreacting. #MilesNation
Kelsey, you really have to acknowledge the LUCK of how you turned out and how your career has developed. 99.9% of people who follow your path will end up working a minimum wage job in a completely unrelated thing to their passions. You LUCKED into it on top of your dreams and passions.
I love listening to Miles talk about grief. He’s always so profound while still being casual as fuck. I lost both my parents and I hated how everyone shied away from talking about my loss. I’d rather tell stories about my mum, make terrible “gallows humour” jokes and say fuck it rather than bottle it all up and pretend nothing happened. You also never know who might be going through the same thing and who you might be helping with your openness to talk. Like Miles said, it brings you closer to anyone who’s feeling pain.
A few lifelong friends and I lost our dads when we were really young. We were sent to group grief counseling as kids and remained friends. Now every time we're together, we have a celebratory drink for being the "dead dads club". It makes everyone around us horrifically uncomfortable, but if we can't laugh, we'll cry.
@@katherinesantoraaa my best friend is someone I met after moving to a new high school when my single mother passed away. Her single mother had also passed away the year prior and moved to the same new high school! We’re best friends to this day 17 years later.
my brother died a few years back and i STILL find myself having to manage other people's reactions whenever it comes up because they immediately switch over into "performing socially acceptable grief" mode and exactly like you said, they shy away when i'm completely fine talking about it. i'd love to talk more honestly about it but it really freaks some people out
I don't know where else to say this and I don't want to hijack the topic, but I'm currently in a state where I have isolated myself as much as I could without being an obvious burden (dropped out of college, no job, living at childhood home, which thankfully is culturally acceptable and expected here). My skillset and memory get cloudier everytime I turn nights into day for no productive reason. I do this well aware but too afraid to do anything to solve it. What makes me even more scared is the prospect that I really don't want to have some life-shaking tragedy to happen to me or anyone for me to finally actually do something about myself.
And that I'm afraid to reach out to people that are open about experiences like you guys, because I'm too self-conscious to be seen as either not having it worse enough or the idea that I can't fundamentally relate to anyone's pain and I can't help anyone about their pain because of my inexperience is heartbreaking to me.
I apologize if I'm not making sense, I'm writing this sleep deprived.
I love hearing someone else with a similar take as mine. I absolutely still talk about my parents as well In both story form and dark jokes. I think there’s room for humor, memories, etc within grief. And I ABSOLUTELY agree that sharing helps open a door for connection with others going through something similar.
I never wanted to say “ok Boomer” so quickly… SNL showed their age and it’s obvious they just don’t get it…
Agreed! SNL proves time and time again that it is no longer relevant. The writing from Neds friend is about as funny as Ned (i.e. it isn't 😂)
It was so obvious that Neds friend wrote the episode lol.
It is WILD to me that candid competition doesn't do well. The proposal video is one of my all time favorite try guys videos and I CRIED laughing so hard watching it.
Don’t all the candid competition videos have like millions of views? I always thought it was a pretty successful series of theirs until people started joking about it 😂 I love the proposal one too
It's my favourite series.
100% one of my favorite series of theirs, maybe even my absolute favorite. I revisit it when I’m down or sad or whatever so often!
Cringe comedy is so hard!
I love Miles calling Kelsey out about college!
SAME!
Kelseyyyy the way u describe how young people think is like SO FREAKING FLORIDA
Ppl don’t go to college to party as the norm - THATS FLORIDA CULTURE lol
@@nataliehubbard6568 it's everywhere culture
oh and for calling her out to LISTEN!! that was rad! I am also working on being a better listener and love it when my friends call me out on it!!
@@naxp42 totally!! I really appreciated miles standing his ground for when she wasn’t listening/hearing herself. Friends who care will stick their ground longer and I can tell he cares
"Seems like a you problem." My undergraduate college degree was absolutely necessary for the path I wanted to take. In college, I met my best friends, made professional connections, met my husband and was given so many opportunities that would have been impossible to figure out and do at 19 years old. Saying absolutes that you DON'T need college is just a stupid as saying to DO need college. It's also harmful to tell a bunch of listeners that you can learn "everything you need" from TikTok, seeing as TikTok is chocked full of misinformation. I can definitely feel the defensiveness coming through.
100%. I did 10 years of work before I finally went to college and even though I didn’t graduate it was the best thing I could’ve done for myself.
Agree. It’s such a privileged position to be like “don’t go to college just live off your parent’s money and figure it out”. Like, a lot of people need college to get a decent job. Also, education itself is so valuable.
I have ADHD so I really understand not liking school, but to say what she did as a blanket statement because she had a bad experience is in such poor taste.
right! not to be like "old man yells at clouds" but one of the MOST important things college teaches imo (and yes, yes, i know you could learn this elsewhere) is research and critically analyzing sources. just to +1 your point about "learning everything on tiktok" which, as you said, is full of misinformation, unverifiable statements, statistics taken out of context, etc.
Also straight up like. I work for my state's environmental protection agency. You think the people making environmental decisions don't need college degrees? What about people engineering bridges and cars and roads? Planning communities? There are so many fields where having a degree is absolutely necessary to actually be able to do your job properly. Is it for everyone? Of course not! But it's an important path for a lot of people and a lot of careers.
Yeah, the idea of “just start doing what you want to do” is great if you’re, like an artist or you can apprentice somewhere, but there are so many other careers that require higher education that you can’t just learn on the job or strictly through self-studying. You gotta have knowledgeable people around to tell you when you’re wrong and when you’re on the right track. I’m a CPA, I still had a ton to learn once I started my career but there’s no way anyone could come in with zero knowledge NOR would I like to be the person training someone with zero knowledge. There are so many technical careers!! I was honestly getting a little annoyed at the erasure of people in careers that aren’t media, and of people who genuinely like to learn and study, and I’m SO GLAD Miles called her out on it, he’s the best 😂
I am fully on Team Miles on college being so important, but also not for everyone. I absolutely loved my college experience and my degrees enabled me to work in jobs I would not have had access to without them (even though more jobs should not require degrees). It teaches a lot of different life skills, especially if you join organizations and take advantage of on campus resources. Definitely follow what works for you, but I think college still provides immense value.
Also, I think an underrated benefit of college is being exposed to new people and ideas in general. Having certain things "required" kinda sucked at the time (30 years ago) but also, left to my own devices, I'd never have sought out certain topics ... would have actively avoided others ... but that soup contributes to a well-rounded person (employee, creator, citizen, family member, all these roles we get to play over the years.)
One of my parents didn’t finish high school, they worked at a job for 40 years and were even able to retire a little early. Their position now requires at minimum a bachelor degree. It makes no sense. None of the skills they used on a day to day basis require higher learning.
@@lisahoshowsky4251 Exactly! The state where I live really values education, and what that ends up meaning in practice is it is incredibly challenging to get a well paying job without a degree. So many jobs just require a degree because its "industry standard" rather than a degree bringing something meaningful to the table.
@@gretl01 Yes! I know that college really expanded my worldview and helped me break out of the routine I grew up in. It was immensely impactful to form relationships with people who had incredibly different backgrounds than myself and learn from their experiences. It definitely helped shape who I am today.
Agreed. My college was able to hook me up with paid internships while studying so I was able to earn money and look around potential future careers. My last paid internship is currently my full-time job and the one closest to what I felt was right for me career-wise. I do regret not going to community college first though, but overall it was great. I'm also a first generation immigrant with young parents that didn't finish middle school, so I learned basic life skills (what is credit) that they didn't get to learn from my classmates.
I'm with Miles on the college topic. If you can go for little to no money or if you can afford it, I personally think it's the best way to transition into adulthood and learn things you'd never learn otherwise. I'm the type of person who learns best in a classroom setting/discussion setting and I'm sure a lot of people are the same way. However, I also think the US should support gap years. It's very common in other developed countries to take a gap year after high school to figure out what interests you and what your goals are (while your spot at your college of choice is held for you) and I definitely would have benefited from that.
So happy to scroll down and see people supporting Miles in the college debate. One person's experience cannot dictate what is true for every other person, and hearing Miles say "that sounds like a you problem" was so incredible. College shouldn't be crammed down everyone's throat, but to say that the entire concept is 100% bad and a waste of time for most professions is a bad take. For so many people, that's the first time that they are able to leave home (in situations where parents would expect them to stay at home, or at least in their hometown due to cultural/religious standards, finances, etc.) and finally develop as individuals. Kelsey didn't mean harm with that discourse, but I was so thankful that Miles pointed out the privilege she had in being able to drop out of three different colleges (or even to have tuition for one paid for at all). As someone that worked their ass off for their full rides in both undergrad and grad school, it definitely rubbed me the wrong way to hear someone I otherwise admire disparage something that was crucial in my ability to leave my hometown, figure out who I was, and start a career that I am passionate about.
That whole segment about college was so cringey on Kelsey’s part 🥴😬 imagine somebody having a different experience than you?! SHOCKING! 😱 and the fact that she couldn’t even bother to let him talk for two minutes about HIS experience in college without her interrupting was weird behavior… 😬
This was my first time listening to one of her podcasts and I don't think I'll be back. She was being downright obnoxious
Ugh. The "everything happens for the reason" phrase pisses me off. Thank you Miles! My little sister died of a brain tumor when I was 7 and I was told that. I was also told that I'd make a great doctor because I would honor my sister that way. It trapped me into thinking I wasn't allowed to do anything else with my life and damaged me severely. Then I lost 7 more members of my family in the following 3 years and was constantly told to keep my emotions in so I didn't upset anybody else. Suggesting that my future is the reason my sister died, or that there's any good reason that all these deaths happened, sucked. That plus dealing with an abusive family member and bullies at school wrecked my mental health. I'm in therapy and doing everything I can to help myself and to also not pass that trauma on to my kids.
Ok. Colleges are definitely too pushed in life, but holy shit putting down people who aren’t lawyers and doctors going to college is harsh. 😢
Yeah it’s like she’s devaluing those professions all together in the way she asserted that. I’m not imagining that was her intention but dang
She’s a privileged influencer like what does she know about a struggling young adult trying to make it in life and who wants an education. Shes extremely judgedy.
@@aleee9214 the thing that’s hard is I want her to see these comments because she does seem to CARE about educating herself and various kinds of people and their hardships. But, like u said, it doesn’t seem in practice during moments like this when she asserts that her way is the right way so hard
@@aleee9214 I love that Miles made it clear that yeah but you had money to fall back on - it is not the same
I could not have predicted how much I have come to love Miles.
Miles' advice on grief is SO IMPORTANT! Be present for your grieving friend, even if it's just sitting quietly with them!!!! Never say those awful cliches "everything happens for a reason," or "they're in a better place."
Also, the sibling energy in this episode was chaotic and wonderful!
After I lost my son, my best friend would come over with a coffee, or take out and just SIT with me. We watched a lot of crappy reality TV in silence. I love that Miles shares this advice every time he speaks of grief. It can make all the difference.
I'm not even using my degree, but college was still important to me. I didn't know what I wanted to do for a living, but I knew I didn't want to live with my parents anymore. I needed time away from them and living more on my own without being thrown into adult life. Hell, I didn't even know that I was aromantic and asexual coming into college. I thought I was just a weirdo
Yeah. You learn a lot about yourself and you finally get the space to grow on your own, without your parents influencing things too much. The college experience is extremely underrated. It is not just about the degree
I feel similarly. I didn’t go into college with much of a life plan and I’m not directly using my bio degree but I don’t regret going to college, it was ultimately an important experience for me and helped me mature as an adult. (I wish I’d figured out I was aro/ace college tho but it took me two more years after I graduated 😭)
Thank you for mentioning this very common perspective. A lot of people do go to college and the major objective is to learn how to learn. How to turn on a dime socially or mentally or logistically for your life.
The people I know who chose (versus couldn’t) not to go to college/vocation school, something that required structured accountability, have mostly turned into chaotic adults. I’m not saying they can’t pay bills or have a careers or life… that’s true for some of them too. But the major thing is that college taught me at least, to learn how to learn and stay organized and adapt. I work in software and many of my favorite coworkers didn’t go to some sort of structured sometging after moving out and graduating high school and it shows in their work. It’s not about intelligence or degrees but maintaining structure is a huge part of college. A lot of people take for granted that their environment until 18 is already set. You have daily things you must do (wake up, go to school, be clean etc) and then in adulthood, a lot of my friends went into shift work where they could just show up or schedule not to and very little happened to their overall life as a consequence. The structure and dynamic sociocultural exposure colleges or similar can provide are super valuable
OMG Kelsey!! Thank you for the sentiment at 37:00. If you don't like your partner, leave!! Also, Miles, thank you for stating that babies aren't for everyone and not everyone needs to or should have them!
I loved the borderline bickering energy that happened in the college conversation, it felt so natural and funny that you were both yelling
As someone dealing with CPTSD, and trying to figure out how to restart life, Miles’ views on pain/trauma and how it defines you was really nice to hear.
CPTSD here. Something I’m learning in EMDR is that there is no restart, we’re already working and living. There’s only healing and changing what’s already been laid out. You’re doing a great job with the work you’ve already done, only up from here.
That candid competition answer is how you know Miles and Kelsey are Zach stans.
Great pod!!
I personally love candid competitions. The wedding series with Zach proposing to Miles made me laugh so hard, especially when no one cared.
Omg it’s Miles, Video Producer Extraordinaire! His Channel and ‘Perfect Person’ are a cure for when you feel low.
BRO! HOW ARE YOU EVERYWHERE??????? All the things I follow, all the channels I frequent, YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE! Be it TryGuys, be it TISS, be it BingeOClock, KVizzing! It just feels like Pokhraj and RUclips goes together! Damn Bro!
@@mayurdheleriya7837 Haha thank you for comment.
"I have the health, and the safety, and the freedom, to be able to do so many things that a lot of people don't have" - Miles Bonsignore 🌟
I went to university to learn. I was so ecstatic. 5 years later I went back to school for a year to receive a certificate. To learn more. I still want to go back and receive another degree. It wasn't for money or a job, I just loved the academic world. I am the type of individual who would be a scholar for life. If I had unlimited resources I would always be in class, even when I had a job.
It is so satisfying to constantly expand your mind in a structured way.
totally agree! im in my first year of uni and i am so in love with learning - especially things that i didn't have access to during high school
For me, college was crucial to meet people from so many other cultures and gain a new perspective on the world. There's been many times when I encountered people that stayed in their bubble and it's much harder for them to open their eyes
I think I need a link to the video where Miles calls Ned a scumbag before the scandal!! I definitely missed that video!!
I would NEVER tell someone else that “everything happens for a reason”, but I must admit that it is helpful for me to think about and apply to my own life and circumstances. Helps me not reel and spiral about why why why something happened 🤷♀️
My friends have said this to me when I’ve talked about my mental health. Like maybe for you, but why have I been through this hell for a reason 😅
Yeah that seems entirely unhelpful when applied to mental health struggles, I’m sorry to hear your friends have been unsupportive in that way.
I definitely ended up picking up “Everything Happens” from Dr Horrible because it manages to not upset me as much. More about acknowledging the chaos of life, less about looking for a “positive” or a “meaning” in the bullshit
The way I look at it is, I can look for a silver lining for myself but I shouldn't assign silver linings for others. ☁️
I love miles talking about college and I love how heated he got because me too. Like I'm almost done with college and I have had the time of my life. I'm an art major and it's given me all of the tools to try different types of art that I would have never been able to otherwise. Like I started a drawing concentration and now I'm a ceramics concentration and I've never been so happy
My husband is 6' 2" and also loves baths. He uses eucalyptus mint epsom salt and then our woodwick fireside candle to get the crackling and amazing aroma. Granted I picked the candle and epsom salt, but he loves whatever I choose. Last night he was watching football on his phone with his crown and coke on my bath caddy relaxing before the beginning of a new week.
So does my 6’5 husband lol, they need to start a fan club for tall guys who need baths
Totally misread that as he was wearing a crown in the tub 🤦♀️😂
Wdym by crown
@@alexare6655 Crown Royal - liquor
@@MsDanista oohh that makes sense. I don't drink so wouldn't know.
As someone who did not go to college and am now in my 30s, I agree with Miles.
A degree helps with jobs and payyy. It’s not for everyone, and most kids could take a break instead of jump right in, and it’s stupid expensive. BUT it still helps in the working world for pay and positions.
This was a tough podcast to listen to because Kelsey spent so much time trying to talk/yell over Miles simply because he was trying to explain a different POV and highlight how privileged her hot take was.
Miles handled it well though!
For me, college wasn't necessarily about the literal information I was learning in classes. I was also learning time management, budgeting, how to take criticism with grace, understanding how to work on other people's timelines and with goals that were set for me. Many of the things that a corporate work environment requires. Which I realize not everyone needs or wants, but I wanted a job in a corporate environment. So those skills set me up for success.
As it relates to partying, I was too busy working and going to school full time to slack off at the level that some people think is happening in college. Were people partying? Absolutely. But I did not find it enjoyable to party to THAT extreme.
As someone who did an improv camp with Miles, I can attest that he was VERY popular
Miles, I resonate so much your thoughts about when people say everything happens for a reason. My brother died in 2003, right after my parents divorce. And my mom died about 6 years ago. And you're right. There is no good reason. Have seen it that way all the way back since 2003 in 3rd grade. Sending everyone love. Sometimes there just isn't. Anything. Good. To. Say.
As someone who has also gone through having a sibling with cancer (who is very luckily still with us), I have never felt more seen then when Miles said he hates when people say "everything happens for a reason." I've thought that so many times in the context of my sister's illness. Thank you Miles.
hearing Miles talk about grief is so... comforting? like I lost my grandma recently like a week before starting my masters degree and I was super close to her, even lived with her for periods of time when I needed to be closer to school or after she got sick and needed someone to drive her to treatments, and it's just so strange to be thrown into a whole new setting with new people as you're going through something like that. and even tho you logically know so many other people are going through the same thing, you still feel super isolated in all the sadness and missing someone, so it's nice to hear other people talk about grief like this ❤
I totally relate with Miles. I've also dealt with a lot of grief and yes, there is no f-in reason. Shit happens. That's life sometimes.
Why is she bashing on college students. Literally bashing miles as well. He’s literally using his degrees right now. College makes u open minded and it’s okay to learn things that don’t guarantee a job. Not mention she says “unless ur a doctor or lawyer” well teachers, nurses, accountants, culinary careers, social work all require a degree or some sort of education. More people should be educated. Smh that was so little minded.
Dude, re: is college worth it. Working life is EXHAUSTING. From my experience- go to college if only to delay working at least 40 hours a week for the rest of your life. In college you are in a community of your peers, ready socialize and have fun and fuck up, but also learn and grow and challenge each other. You have freedom in your daily life, you have summers “free” (I worked multiple jobs year round, but I could get time off easier since I wasn’t full time.) Life will never be structured in this way again. You just work and it never ends?!
Kelsey and Miles have such a good energy 😭 when Miles was talking abt the double wick candles and Kelsey gasping was so funny I love it sm
Couldn’t agree more with Miles about going to college. Taking classes outside of my major about history, indigenous culture, political science, women’s health, etc. has shaped me more than anything else. I am more curious about the world and can have more thoughtful conversations about these topics now that I’ve studied them. And a lot of these classes were at community college! Which I went to absolutely free while working part time as well! College (in any form) is essential to knowledge and knowledge is power.
LOOVEEEDDD the recognition of knowing one may not be the best parent but knowing a friend will be an amazing one.
I love love love LOVE the idea of God being an overwhelmed millennial who was NOT expecting their creation to get so fucked so fast. Thank you Miles for restoring my faith in a higher power.
Candid competition is amazing. Especially with Miles as Zach’s goth boyfriend.
Wait. I LOVE these two together. I didn't realize how much I needed this pairing. Y'all bounce off each other so well with chaos and insight. Such a ride! More Kelsey Miles content!!
I just want to say how much respect and admiration I have for Miles and how he as grown to understand that pain and grief are on sliding scales for everyone and how, even if he might have a disproportionate amount of tradegy over others in the room, he is still understanding of others' pain. Life's not easy and I totally understand people who haven't gotten to that point in their journey. But that is incredibly admirable and I have so, so much respect for him for that. What a guy.
I don't enjoy ASMR but the ASMR energy of Miles saying "I'm not drinking out of a jagged metal can" hit an untapped part of my brain.
I never really focused on Miles or getting to know him, I’m really glad you had him on, he’s extremely personable and I relate on such a deep level with how he handles his trauma
I never knew how much I resonated with Miles.. my mom had a stage 4 glioblastoma.. hearing him talking about his experiences with grief really hit for me.. thank you for being candid Miles
Kelsey’s ability to move through topics while having me laugh… I’ve never seen it done so effortlessly, phenomenal.
I promise you don't want a forester that hasn't gone to school. they're the ones that grade lumber (aka strong pieces go to things like railroad ties and less strong go to cheap furniture). if one breaks its expected, the other and lives are in danger. i know this isn't one of the degrees that Kelsey listed, but more of a niche group to show that school is important!! No shade, just sharing my experiences, and hopefully educating along the way♥️ first time i've listened to this podcast and i love it!
fwiw you educated me on this! thanks for sharing!
Yes, I wouldn't want public things like railroads and highways to be built by people who "learnt" by watching tiktok or that prioritise something that looks "good" instead of functional and resistant. I mean there are some highly qualified and genius self-taught people. But it's rare, whenever someone doesn't have a diploma or experience and they land on a big well paying job it's due to nepotism. And then innocent people die when the effing bridge collapses.
i loved kelsey and miles’ convo about college! it showed how you can disagree on smth and healthily call out a friend without it being a whole dramatic thing
My dad died when I was 16. Everything definitely doesn’t happen for a reason. Thank you Miles. ❤
I’ve definitely had doctors recommend cranberry pills as a preventative measure lol it’s not a cure but it helps keep the urethra clean
Yeah but only the pure cranberry juice that'a sugar free
@@coolkid-xc1yi cranberry pills, not juice
Thank you! I took so many antibiotics for years, and literally the only thing that has helped make it stop is the Cranberry pills! I take them every single night without fail and haven't had a UTI or any UTI symptoms in a year! I read up on the pills and they have the effect of basically making the inside of your bladder have this "teflon" type of coating so that no bacteria can stick and build and cause issues. Side note: I'm not nasty, I have a medical condition that triggers the damn things.
Research I've done say it's the vitamin C in cranberry that is what helps. So I take extra vitamin C. (And extra hydration, to help flush it out).
@@lissydoll629 ok.. but the juice also helps.
Sending blessings and good vibes your way Kelsey, thanks for having Miles on your podcast, he’s the perfect person 😊
It's incredible hearing Miles talk about loss and trauma. I remember struggling to understand why I had to go through so much, and my conclusion was that there is no "reason". Things just happen. I've found that people who know what loss is like are more likely to say "Things happen, they suck, and you will find a way to keep going."
When I was in college my sister committed suicide and I took zero time off. She had lived in a different city at the time (I was away for college) and I just didn't wanna sit in the place where it happened, I wanted the distraction of study. Anyway one of my university 'friends' at the time told a mutual friend that I was hard to be around because I wouldn't cheer up, even when she was trying to make me laugh. And that she had to go through her dad having cancer the year before and she never "put that on us".
Firstly, It broke my fucking heart that she would say that because we were very close. But also, her father had a skin cancer that was removed with a single surgery. No chemo, no radiation, no anything. Still terrifying for her and not trivialising cancer but it wasn't like she'd spent months in a hospital holding his hand and being his carer or anything. I couldn't believe that she had compared it to my 25 year old sister taking her own life out of the blue. Hearing Miles talk about how he processed realising that not everyone has the same measure on what pain/trauma is and having the patience to not store that anger but to convert it into a more positive outlook is a feeling I know well.
**Additional detail: Me and my sister were only 2 years apart and wore each others clothes a lot. When we cleared out her room, I kept some of the stuff that we shared and took it back to college. The guy I was dating at the time told me after EIGHT WEEKS that he thinks its time for me to stop wearing her clothes because enough TIME HAD PASSED and it wasn't helping me move on.
I started to tear up when you guys were discussing grief. It was so affirming and filled with really good & helpful advice. I’ve dealt with a lot of grief & loss in the past couple years and I still feel like I’m struggling with it but it is slowly becoming less hard.
“This is a ‘you’ problem”
I’m totally subscribing to Miles now.
Miles on Confidently Insecure and then a Kelsey episode of Perfect Person??? What did I do to deserve such wonderfulness?
This was the best pod cast I’ve watched in MONTHS!!! 🎉 Thank you both!!!!❤
"lucky to be alive right now" hamilton moment had me laughing, love the whole conversation! I love the topics that were brought up and can't wait to hear more from both💗
“I plead the 5th…but yes” ☠️
I have been through a (pretty big) handful of hardships and luckily none around me has. It felt so good to hear Miles articulate what I feel about not being interested in it defining you and stuff. Thank you so much for sharing, I hadn't realised I had nobody to share that feeling with.
Absolutely LOVED college. Am I using my degree? Absolutely not. Did I learn how to live on my own and be my own person without my parents while also being in a safe environment to figure out who I wanted to be as an adult? Absolutely. And I can confidently say I have a much more diverse understanding of the world around me! College isn't for everyone, but I definitely encourage everyone to consider it, even if just to transition into adulthood
I’ve heard so many people (and SNL is included in this) who have said that the scandal wasn’t “real news” worthy. But what they fail to see is that it is EXTREMELY news worthy because think of how SNL and other huge media outlets handle scandals in the workplace. Especially media outlets where the majority of it is run by men. The fact that Keith, Zack and Eugene are men holding their close friend and co-owner of their company accountable is astounding - you literally never hear stories like it and that is exactly why it’s “real news” worthy. They deserve to be shown as examples of how you are supposed to run a company and!take the time to handle these situations the right way.
i wanna see this duo more often!!! u guys fighting about university was so funny loll
Aren't one of the people who wrote that bad SNL skit friends with/know Ned? He mentioned being friends with a fellow Yale grad who works as an SNL writer and he was listed on the credits of the sketch I believe. If you wanna know why they picked the take they did and that's true... that's where I'd put my money
I am both Miles and Kelsey in the college conversation. I dropped out of high school, but I did eventually go to university. I don't regret either choice, but neither wouldn't have been possible if I didn't have a) scholarships b) a job since I was working age and most importantly c) a large financial safety net from my parents. I've learned a decent amount from school but my 10 years of work experience are equally if not more valuable imo.
31:40 i remember one time, i met and worked with a teenager girl, and she mentioned her father passing away when she was 5. Without thinking, i said “oh god that sucks” and i felt terrible but she actually said “you know what, i love that reaction. Most people say IM SO SORRY and it’s like, yeah I’m sad, but it happened a LONG time ago. I’m okay now”
Just wanted to say: I see a urologist for a cystitis flare up and UTI that I’ve been dealing with since March, and my doctor did recommend cranberry extract. It’s OTC, comes in a capsule, and I take it twice a day in conjunction with other meds. Some doctors do recommend cranberry pills!
Two major comments, first episode of the pod I've watched yet-- will be subscribing and watching more.
1) By the time I was 18 I had lost all 4 grandparents and my childhood family golden retriever. Compounding loss is never justified or part of some "plan", as Miles mentioned. Loss is simply a part of life, where life would never be so meaningful if loss did not exist. You never know what you have until it's gone; my grandparents, for example, their lessons and personalities stay with me every day, and I smile now at memories of them that I saw as painful reminders before. Loss is about changing perspective on life, forcing yourself to cherish life more, present or past.
2) I went to NYU Stern for business, and I met a lot of people who were in film/arts. Trust me when I say the feeling Myles got touring Columbia Uni is the same at NYU. Yes, the name on my resume helps me find jobs-- it helped me find jobs where I was someone's bitch for a couple years-- career mobility like a carrot strung to a 20-foot pole. The job I have now? Marketing legal cannabis in NJ w/ no NYU connections necessary, upward mobility as a 22 year-old because I chose to pursue something I was personally interested in, not something my school told me was a good option. I see both Kelsey and Miles' sides in the take on college, it depends on your financial situation, but if you can swing it, it will bring more good than bad. I commuted to school and had a scholarship-- the only reasons I was able to attend, and 90% of the people there looked down on me for my middle-class status. CUNY would've probably been just as beneficial.
This was great on so many levels! Thank you both. ❤️
Love to see this! Sending love to all!! ♥♥♥
Remember that one time Zach did a candid completion series on engagement freebies and Rachel’s first question was about sexual harassment and Zach said he thought about that issue too and asked Miles if he wanted to play the part of fiancé? As in… they had HR policies in place for a long time (at least 2 years) regarding sexual harassment in the work place that encompassed romantic relationships between the owners/bosses and employees. H
Love both of you! Thanks for a great podcast ☺️
“I’m not drinking out of a jagged metal can” the cackle I let out 😭
Miles is honestly an underrated human being. Love watching him, listening to him; consuming all his content
I love the Threshold Target candle line. Great scents, pretty container when the candle is done.
As someone who has also experienced a great deal of grief and loss in my life, I really needed to hear this episode. The weight of grief can be so debilitating at times even though years have gone by and it shows up in so many different ways. Hearing Miles talk about all the creative projects he’s able to take on and the things he wants to do in life is so inspiring to me. ❤
stumbled upon this being nosy for ned drama and actually grew such an appreciation for both of you & the perspectives on mindfulness and choosing to look at things differently. ❤❤ thank you for reminding me something that really matters
Confidently Insecure & Perfect Person is a hilarious dichotomy I hadn't thought about until just this moment, it's amazing! You both are awesome, it's great to see you guys one on one after all these years.
I went to college to decidedly NOT fuck around actually. In my teens I was already a borderline alcoholic and addict- going 6 hours away was the thing that saved my life!
Loved hearing your perspective on everything, Miles! Especially the way you deal with grief. Thank you for letting us all in on those painful times for you and how it can help others. You’re so genuine and can’t wait to see you accomplish even more incredible things 🥹
Miles!! Yay! Can't wait to also listen to Kelsey on perfect person!
I agree with Miles that spending 4 years just learning was incredible. I still miss college classes where we would spend an entire class debating which author of the semester was better. Nerdy arguments based in fact, but with so much emotion. It's the only environment I've ever been in where people changed their mind when presented with new information and where people were EXCITED to learn new things. Was it exhausting? Yes. Do I miss being graded or writing 10 page papers? No. But I do miss challenging myself in that way.
I loved going to college. I love learning, and I love how Miles said he enjoyed that his job was learning. That's part of how I felt. I went so far as to earn a Master's. I learned a lot about human behavior and why people may be the way that they are. Getting my degree in Social Work has also helped the people in my personal life as I can help them work through their personal issues sometimes. College can give you such a unique view of the world that people who don't attend college might not get to have. The years I spent in college gave me more time to figure out who I was, as an adult.
Love this collab. Love you both. ❤️
Kelsey kept interrupting Miles during the college bit to assert her claim that college is useless and that left a bad taste in my mouth because for one, speaking over your guest, and two, her claim was only based on her very specific college experience which is not applicable to most. Claiming college is just for doctors and lawyers is such a bad take as Miles pointed out. Just having a degree allows you so many opportunities and get to interviews for jobs. Being in college has helped people get exposed to different cultures, people, and career paths they probably wouldn’t have considered before. If you can’t afford college at the moment, or don’t think it is the right fit for you, don’t go! Hope Kelsey reads these comments and stops making blanket statements like this.