Being honest about my mental health 🫥 - Living with schizophrenia - Life update 🫠
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- Опубликовано: 13 июн 2023
- Just a short update on my mental health struggles lately. Having schizophrenia is challenging and i'm tired.
contact: kimberlyhallberg95@outlook.com
#schizophrenia #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #livingalonewithschizophrenia #livingwithschizophrenia
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Hi Kimberly, I am a person living with schizophrenia and life is not easy for me. Sometimes I even wish I was never been born because of the mental suffering that I experienced. Even though we are taking medication but life is still very hard. I understand your struggle and I hope you can find a better medication that can help you .
thank you! I wish you well! 💚
Depression and anxiety are mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausting. I hope making videos brings you some joy. Your videos help validate what sufferers live with and educate others about the reality of mental illness.
thank you and yes I love making videos! that's why im a little sad about not having the energy to film anything lately... but im hoping to soon ❤️
@@KimberlyHallberghello Kimberly I just wanted to ask u have u ever had suicidal thoughts and aren't u afraid of killing urself 😳🤕 like for example if I see a tall building I feel like killing myself by jumping off but I feel scared 😟 do u feel that too 😭 yes or no
@@akshorts2115 Hi! i do feel like this question is very personal but I also don't want to dismiss your question. but I have struggled with dark thoughts but not in they way you describe. I would really recommend seeking professional help if you are struggling!! ❤
Dear Kimberly, I'm so sorry you're experiencing sad and tired feelings. Wish I was nearby to try to be of help. I can understand what you're saying. My adult son has schizophrenia, and goes through the same roller coaster ride that you're experiencing. He just started on a new med, so hopefully it will help. Just know that we all care about you, and praying you can get on top of this soon. Blessings.
thank you! I wish both you and your son well and hope we can all feel better soon! ❤️
Thanks Kimberly for being open and honest about your life. I felt better from listening, seeing I'm not the only one who struggles. For some reason I have also been very tired... Christ love!
thank you Peter! I hope you feel better soon too! 🥰
I used to struggle with spring. Something about gearing up into Summer mode, was difficult. The seasons affect mood in a lot of ways, and not just your own but everyone around you. For me summer is a season of enjoying and celebrating.
i prefer fall and winter, summer has never really been my thing 😂
You look radiant. I hope you get this fatigue sorted out and are feeling better very soon. Take care. Thanks for another great video. ❤
thank you and thank you for watching! 🥰
Aw, Kimberly...hang in there my friend! Some hours, days, weeks we feel crappy..but there is always something to be grateful for and good things waiting for us to discover around the corner. Be gentle with yourself and do a little something each day that you enjoy and possibly in time your energy level will rise and you will have the energy to do more and get back into the routines you once had. Go for walks in the beautiful areas around your place, breathe in the fresh air, listen to the birds sing, say hello to someone that may be walking in the same place. You never know, saying hello to someone might make their day because they may be feeling sad too. I hope you can see your nurse soon and that she can help you feel better. Sending positive, healing energy to you and hoping you start to feel better :)
thank you pam and I will definitely try to! 🥰
Through tears our bodies get rid of cortisol, so it’s actually very healthy to cry when you’re stressed ❤ when I learned it, I felt much better about the idea of me crying, because I used to hate this, as I called it, “self-pity stuff”. And now I have a perfect reason to cry without feeling guilty 😂 I don’t know know, maybe it’s silly, but that’s what helped me, maybe it could help you too❤ big hugs
oh I didn't know that! very interesting! thank you for watching! ❤
I can so identify with your money worries! I don't have a regular income at the moment, but the bills still need to be paid! It creates a huge amount of stress...
it really does! 😔
Kimberly, you have great courage, keep fighting the good fight. You look really beautiful! I have been where you are now and things have now changed for the better! Keep the faith and may God bless you and your cats immensely.
thank you! ❤
Just found your videos. You are lovely. I am sorry you are going through this. It never feels fair while you want to do lots of things with your life but only thing you can do is trying to survive and get better. Me and my kids have been dealing with lots of problems related to our Metal Illnesses. It is making life really difficult. I admire you for finding the energy to make a video. Kudos to you from Canada.
thank you! 🥰 I hope you have a nice day! ❤
It's good they're looking at your meds. When mine are too high my negative symptoms are worse and I suffer from avolition. I understand exactly what you mean when you say that playing the Sims is too much. I can't even play video games most of the time. I miss Minecraft and Sims. I really hope you feel better soon!
thank you! I really hope there is something they can help me with and in the meantime I have to be patient I think 💚
Thank you for sharing about your mental health and spreading awareness
thank you! 🥰
I think you are super brave. Your wish to be well is really inspiring to me. I realize I am a little depressed when I don’t feel like having my daily shower. That’s how I know.
thank you! 🥰
No pressure to post or anything, but I hope you are doing okay! I’ve been thinking about you since you last posted.
thank you for checking up on me! ❤️
I understand you so well ! Mental issues take the life out of us. The good news is that it is often temporary. You have to focus on the coming days where you will feel energized. All the best to you.
thank you! and I will try to! 😊
Much love to You💚❤💙 i hope this bad time will pass as soon possible 💛💜
thank you and I really hope so too! 💚
aww sweetie. 💕 i totally get that tired feeling. my schizophrenia is also keeping me at a very tired state now. the heat doesn't help either. grieving my dad doesn't help either. it's hard for me to not blame myself. just get up! be normal! but that's not a fair thing to say. i would never say that to someone else, but i say it to me.
last week i realized i have not painted in a whole year! and i love painting. but i have no mental energy for it. it's sad.
i also find it hard to say things about money. i love you are so honest. TAK 💕 because it is embarrassing. but i don't get a lot paid, and i also can be very impulsive and don't think ahead that i don't actually have the money to buy that. 😄 😭
i try to say, i am up against a lot. and try not to be hard on myself. but it's hard.
i want to thank you for sharing. it really means a lot and i hope it also helps you to share and i hope this community is of benefit to you. it is of benefit for me. but it makes me really sad how you are doing 🥺 I am sending you a huge hug.
oh thank you, thats so kind of you! ❤️ I hope you also feel better soon and can get back at painting again (I haven't painted in a while either) and we both should probably try not to be so hard on ourselves. ❤️
Dear Kimberly, nothing lasts forever so this too shall pass.. Just be patient and kind with yourself. I am rooting for you ❤
thank you! ❤️
I can relate to the emotions you describe. Just remember not to resort to blame and shame. It helps.
thank you and I will! 🥰
Hi Kimberly hope you’ve been doing okay, I just found your channel a few days ago and subscribed. All the best!
thank you! have a nice sunday! 🥰
Solidarity kimberly
🙌
Sorry you’re going through all this…hope you’ll feel better soon. Thanks always for sharing
Thank you so much for the super thanks! I hope you have a great day 🥹♥️
Thank you so much for being so transparent💗
thank you for watching! 🥹💖
Thank you dearest Kimberly for your strength and courage to share this! I so recognize myself! Is there now...
Lots of love to you! Hug of strength/Cecilia❤❤❤
thank you Cecilia! ❤
Hi Stephanie, thanks so much for another video and I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I can relate to the mental fatigue and that making you feel like you cant do anything. I am the same way, things I want to do but I have no energy and yet I havent done anything. I dont have the added burden of PS, so I really feel for you. The depression from all this is horrible. I think the fatigue is from my meds, but I have to take them. I'm glad you talked to your nurse, hopefully a change in dosage might help or they will find something. That would all make me stressed too! Thats all a part of it. Financial struggles make a person feel awful. Ive been through all that and still. I was homeless for almost a year, and that nearly made me suicidal. Don't feel embarassed to share anything, I know finances are hard to share, but Im sure you will get many replies about others going through it like myself. It is a big pile of mess like you said! I find talking and sharing my struggles with people I trust helps a lot, I often find people also going through all the sh*t. Hopefully this is just something that is temporary, and I'm no expert but I think you might be going through something that you will come out on the other side for the better. Ive been getting physically ill a lot and Im so sick of that. I just want to feel better. So I hope my sharing my stuff didnt make you feel worse. I admire you a lot. Keep on sharing with us. You look beautiful and are beautiful. Inside and out. Hugs again! Love you! from Mary Ann❤💜💚💙🤗 And crying can be very healing! 💖
thank you Mary Ann and thank you for sharing! I can't even imagine what being homeless is like. thank you for the helpful advice and kind words, it means a lot to me! ❤️
@@KimberlyHallberg I am so glad that Ive gotten to know you. I feel like you are my friend. If we were closer I would love to go have a cup of tea with you or visit you in your apt. Never give up my friend! 💜
@@gypsyskyy9451 thank you! That’s so kind of you to say! You always leave so kind comments, they mean the world to me! 🥹♥️
@@KimberlyHallberg 💖💖
Thank you for the amazing and informative videos Kimberly!You have such a gift to be able to communicate your mental health. You've learned me so much already. Hang in there, the tiredness will pass ❤
Thank you, that's so nice of you to say! 🥹 ❤
You are good as you are ❤
Thank you ♥️
thank you for sharing .i have the same symthoms i know its frustrating esp the part of me neglecting chores just no energy. we are in the same boat! hugs
thank you for watching and commenting! sending you a big hug too and I hope we both will feel better soon 💚
I'm sending you positive vibes and keep believing better days will come. I'm sure all your followers are vouching for you to get better soon. We all love you ❤
thank you! ❤️
I know the feeling, been there many times , the good news is that time heals
yes you are most likely right!
i suggest you find a part time activity helping others. a elderly home, a social program. anything that can make you leave the house and contribute to other people's well being. please try it, and after 30 days publish a video about your experience
i don't really know if there is anything like that in the town im in, its not a very big city... and im not sure if im even ready to a commitment like that yet... but thank you for the suggestion! 💖
Hi Kimberly.. Thank you for sharing this. I am very sorry to hear that you are struggling.. I really hope that you can get some help from your psychiatrist...
I struggle writing this as I can't concentrate right now but wanted to leave a message of thank you and you are not alone. I really understand you.... It sometimes seems very hard to live with schizophrenia... But don't lose heart dear Kimberly... Maybe try and get more help from services if you can (i struggle myself doing this) : Psychiatrist, nurse, counsellor. They are there to help you. Much love
thank you aria! I really appreciate you commenting. sending you a big hug and I hope you also feel better soon! ❤
Thanks Kimberly ❤️
Thanks
Thank you so much for the super thanks! ❤
i love you ❤️ God bless you 🙏
thank you! ❤
I hope you're feeling better, Kimberly. I just found your channel today.
thank you! ❤
You are amazing
thank you! 🥹
Thinking about you and wishing you well.
thank you! 🥹
I am sorry you are feeling this way, I am too. I have autism too which doesn’t help. My last psychosis was April-may, I think I am still recovering
thank you, sad to hear you're also struggling, I wish you well ❤
Du är stark som pratar om det iaf! Jag har typ samma problem ibland, det kommer liksom i skov där jag knappt orkar sitta uppe och ens ta det lugnt. För mig känns det som om man har en tyngd över en som trycker ner en och man är mentalt trött också. Vet inte om detta är typ hur du känner eller så, men ja jag hoppas det går över för dig!
Tack! Och ja, du beskriver det perfekt! Verkligen som en tyngd som väger ner en!
@@KimberlyHallberg Hoppas det löser sig! För mig är det så att det är ibland helt slumpmässigt. Ofta när jag gjort något tungt så kan det vara några dagar där jag är helt slut på detta vis som jag beskrev!
@@BasedRaven96 tack och ja, jag hoppas det löser sig snart också. 😊
P.S. Its cheap to eat at home at relatives. ;) Its free! And we can pick you up. Lets just set a time and date that works for you.
nor sure if I have the energy to do so right now but perhaps in the coming week? it would be fun to get out a little 🥰
@@KimberlyHallberg That's what I think you need.
Yep, that sounds like depression. Try to go out in the sun every day, it will give you energy. And I think you should go with your mum to the gym! Exercise is always good when you're depressed. Hope you'll feel better soon! Take care!
thanks I will try! 😊
Hey Kim, Please, I love you sis, I HAVE PAR.SCHIZO BUT YOU ARE MY MEDICATION, KEEP
MAKING VIDEOS
thank you!
❤️❤️
❤
Hej! Jag bor också i Sverige och är på samma ställe i livet som du. Jag är mest hemma och har inte heller så mycket energi och jag håller med om att det är jobbigt! Kul att du gillar konst, det gör jag med! Jag har precis börjat måla lite med olja igen när jag orkar. Jag hoppas att du hittar något du vill studera, jag skulle vilja jobba med konst fast utan pedagogiskt tema, bara konst för jag gillar inte att prata inför folk.
Detta är en jättebra kanal , jag är glad att jag hittade den!
åh tack så mycket! hoppas det går bra med målningen för dig, skulle också vilja måla mer och jobba inom konst men vi får se. igen tack för att du tittar, ha en fin vecka!
Hi Kimberly,
I checked in to see if you had any new vlog posts or messages in between this post and your last one. I truly believe many of us care about you as a friend. You are so likeable, sweet and smart. I am so very sorry for your struggles. Schizophrenia is a neurological disorder for which we don't have the perfect treatment. You have to wonder if the medication is causing your tiredness or the condition itself. I wish we had better medications and better understanding of the condition. Do you participate in any peer support groups? Have you heard of Bethany Yeiser of Curesz; Team Daniel Running for Recovery (there is a Peer Support link-- not sure if time zone differences would work for you); Surviving Schizophrenia with Stephen (RUclips)? If I lived near you, I would visit, have tea, bring something to eat. I wonder if weekly CBT therapy could be helpful. Sending hugs and good wishes. Thank you for creating your channel and sharing honestly and generously with us. I really believe you are making an important contribution, promoting understanding and making the world a more humane place.
Hi jean! and thank you for your lovely comment and encouragement. 🥹❤️ I do write on a forum for people with schizophrenia from time to time, other than that I haven't joined any peer support groups.
And a good cup of tea would be nice, I really appreciate your kind words, they mean a lot to me. sending you a hug as well and I hope you have a nice weekend! ❤️
@@KimberlyHallberg ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@jeancardoza4442 ❤
💚💚💚
💚
Hej 😊
Nu går det tungt! Energin är på sparlåga men vad göra hoppas kanske ändra medicin kan vara till en hjälp. Men du kämpar på de är huvudsaken ge inte upp. De finns en låga även om den bara glöder lite just nu😉 Lite korsdrag skulle ju sitta fint......de kommer såsmåningom ❤❤
tack rosemarie! ❤️
Hi Kimberly, Thanks for your videos! Just wanted to ask if you are also on antidepressants of some kind? When you talk about the ups and downs that you continuously experience and the inability to stay on top of things all the time, I want to mention that the ups and downs and the continuous depression sound a lot like schizoaffective disorder rather than schizophrenia. It seems you experience this mood disorder (depression) combined with the symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia, and the combination makes schizoaffective disorder a more accurate diagnosis. The change in diagnosis may well affect the meds you are prescribed. Just saying, I'm not a diagnostician. If you happen to discuss this with your mental health providers please make an update video on this. Thank you.
hi! yes I am currently on an antidepressant and have been since the beginning. as for the schizoaffective diagnosis that you mention, im not really sure if the depression I have is caused by depression or if it just negative symtoms from schizophrenia. my doctors have never mentioned schizoaffective when I have been meeting with them. but maybe I should mention it next time I meet them. Thank you for the advice! 😊
I hope you can talk about this tiredness with your psychiatrist or therapist. Maybe it has to do with the meds.(just an idea, because I had to switch meds lots of times to find the right one, I know that there are negative symptoms too) also trauma therapy helped me a lot. Trauma therpy can be life changing if you have bad childhood experiences or trauma. ( I recommend you Patrick Teahan LICSW channel if you are interested about these things. His videos helped me tremendously) I hope you’ll get better
thank you for the tip, I will check out his channel! 🤔💚
Can i ask what meds you're on? I also have schizophrenia, but i take amisulpride which helps with negative symptoms. I take 200 mg, 100 in the morning and 100 in the afternoon. I feel it helps with the negative symptoms. There's also a newer med, i don't remember the name, which supposedly also helps with these symptoms. Maybe you can bring it up with your psychiatrist or something. Love from germany 🇩🇪
im on 2 antipsychotics and one antidepressant, the antidepressant usually helps with some of my negative symtoms but not lately. I now have an appointment with a nurse to discuss my meds again. thank you for the thought and for commenting! ❤️
It can be hard to allow ourselves to cry, but it sounds like that is exactly what your body needs to do right now.
Maybe it feels scary or shameful to cry, but I would see if you can try to be open to allowing yourself to experience this… I know for me, crying has helped a lot with processing whatever it is I might be going through, so perhaps crying might facilitate a similar means of emotional processing for you, too.
thank you and yes, you are right, I do believe crying can be helpful sometimes. I don't really know why I find it so hard to do though... 🤔
@@KimberlyHallberg if you feel up to reflecting on it more at some point, it might prove to offer you some valuable insight about yourself.
I think there can be so many reasons why people struggle to allow themselves to cry- for some, this struggle might be rooted in their upbringing, in having family or friends who weren’t comfortable with their own emotions nor the emotions of others. Many might also have had the experience of crying as a child to their parent or caregiver and having that person respond negatively, thus teaching the child to suppress their tears in future scenarios.
Or it could even be something as “simple” as just not feeling very comfortable with this manifestation of your vulnerability, even though you might be okay with expressing your vulnerability in other ways. I think many of us can relate to feeling more comfortable with some emotions over others (for me, I’ve always gravitated more towards expressing my vulnerability through fear and sadness, and felt deeply uncomfortable expressing anger in any outward way for many years), so perhaps something similar is at play here for you as well.
Maybe a good place to start is to notice how you feel when you cry or when you feel that you might be on the verge of crying- what feelings accompany this? Does it feel easy to “let go” and cry, or is it a struggle to get to that point? Perhaps you feel more self-conscious or even ashamed when you are about to cry or some other difficult feelings arise… see if you can cultivate a sense of open and gentle curiosity towards what sort of sensations and emotions you are aware of in those moments.
I apologize if this is too much unsolicited advice, so feel free to disregard if this isn’t what you need or want right now, but I hope that either way you can be gentle with yourself during these low moments- I’m definitely not perfect with any of this either, though in more recent times I’ve come to realize just how invaluable and healing it can be to allow ourselves the space and compassion to express our emotions in whatever way they yearn to be expressed…
I wish you well and hope you have some brighter days ahead.
@@Amber24426 oh there is most likely a reason why I don't like crying, im not sure why really but there could definitely be a deeper reason for it. and thank you for the advice! have a nice day! 🥰
Hi from Russia! Nobody deserves to feel like this.I wish things will improve for you.Maybe you can discuss that with your doctor. BTW,where do you live in Sweden?
Hi! I have an appointment with a nurse on Friday to discuss this 😊
12:17 don't be so hard on yourself. would you think about other people what you are thinking about yourself? of course not. be strong. try at least to walk 10 minutes in a park, or nature. it will probably help a lot
thank you I will! 😊
You must activate yourself, isn't there any daily activities where you live ?
You should talk to your psychotherapist
I think you need to get out more. Want some company? Im home at 6 pm. Come visit us!
The rock had $7 in his account too so now he calls his production company "7 buck productions" now he has hundreds of millions... Time to pick yourself up hit the gym and get acting lessons! Just a funny anicdote but I hope you get better soon... But it could be lucky you both have $7🤔
haha that made me laugh, thank you! 💚
Kimberly, I don't know if you believe in Jesus. He is real and He loves you. He can help you overcome the symptoms you are experiencing and bring healing into your life. I suffer from depression and schizophrenia. I believe in the goodness of God and His love for me and for you. Please ask Him to make himself real to you. He will and He loves you.
Hi! I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so tired or are experiencing lack of energy. I understand that feeling. I know how hard it is getting up each day and doing the chores and doing the hygienic routines become redundant and overwhelming. I have been on Risperidone for 13 years. I don't like it, but it is the best medication so far to treat my schizophrenia and symptoms. I do like Ziprasidone, felt more energetic on it, but I started having heart palpitations and I went back to Risperidone. Like I said before you are strong and brave living on your own. I live with my husband and adult daughter. I don't think I would want to be alone, because I begin isolating every now and then and if it wasn't for my family I would never go out or do anything, mostly because of anxiety. I also receive disability payments from the government. They help me to pay bills and have a little income left over to buy clothes or jewelry making supplies. Journaling can help, but most days go by and I pretty much watch videos on yt most the day. I want to read books, but I drift to sleep when I read. I am lucky to live close to family and friends. My husband and I have a friend gaming group that tries to meet every Saturday. It is nice to share experiences and joke around and play d&d. I love imagining the story our character's are living in the game. It's fun to see what my friends can come up with to defeat enemies and make it through challenging scenarios. I hope you are able to find something that will break the monogamy and challenge you and make you feel good and excited and free from the slumbering that the meds are causing you to undergo. Love and God Bless you Kimberly! Say hi to your kitties! ❤😺🤗
thank you and thank you for sharing! 🥰 I do hope that my contact nurse will have something helpful to say. 😊
I'm so sorry you aren't doing well. I have sent $2 to help with cat food. Have you tried abilify? It doesn't zap all the dopamine as much as zyprexa. When I switched it really helped with my feelings of avolition. Sending you lots of love.
oh thank you so much Laura! ❤ I have tried Abilify before but only for a very short time but Im waiting for a phone call from my nurse to see if there is anything we can do medwhise. again thank you! ❤
Thanks
thank you! 🥹❤