It's not USING!! If you both want the same thing! Lions live in Prides, would you say Lions USE other sentient lions as a retirement plan? And what is the purpose of being "Sentient" if you have nobody to share that with? Sentient beings tend to want to experience family and children...etc
@@freddymercury2259 I think you missed the whole point of OP’s comment. What OP is saying is that people only want to have kids so they can take care of them in their old age. If your only reason to bring children into this evil world is to have them take care of you, as if they don’t have a life that they want to live and enjoy when they grow up, that is truly selfish.
@@itspiinkyrose4324 yes, that is the cycle of life! That is how humans evolved, would u say that to a pride of lions?? "independence" was forced upon ppl in the west!!!
@@freddymercury2259 humans evolved by their ancestors giving them the tools to be able to survive, not by birthing children to take care of the elderly. Certain genetics AND certain skills were passed down from generation to generation to increase the chances of their legacy being carried on for generations. You cannot compare humans to lions when we are literally at the top of the food chain, now a days humans don’t really have to get it out the mud like wild animals do, and it still remains the same for them as well, certain genetics and skills were passed down from generation to generation (I.e sharp teeth, fast running, and learning how to hunt). This is a way to ensure the survival of the future generations of lions, not to ensure the survival of an older lion, because at some point the elders are going to die whether they’re being taken care of or not. The importance is to teach offspring how to survive when they are gone, so that the species live on and don’t become extinct. Female lions don’t even have the luxury of a pride when it’s time for them to give birth, they have to leave the pride to protect their offspring from the male lion, and it’s in that time that they have to fend for themselves and their offspring. Even when they return to the pride, they have to be cautious when introducing their offspring to the rest of the pride out of fear the male lion won’t accept them and end up killing their offspring, which would be detrimental to the survival of lions right? At some point, the male lions leave the pride they grew up in once they have learned how to properly survive in the wild, they don’t stay to take care of their elder lions. They go and start their own pride, not worrying about the generation that birthed them. Same goes with other wild animals as well, they don’t stay to take care of their elders, they leave.
@rousinrabble hate to break it to you but nobody that is no more aka unalive cares nor can know what happens to their body. The body is the problem of the living, not the de*d so, please, stop😄.
Majority of people with kids complain about them, have to deal with constant behavior issues, financial struggles, putting dreams on hold to take care of kids, can't go anywhere because no one will watch them, can't wait until they are 18 (as if parenting stops there). And let's not forget the parents who have 40 year old sons still living with them and paying no bills. Or a daughter who moves back in with babies for you to babysit. Tell me again, what is there to desire here? Because they clearly are not enjoying their choice. #kidfree
THIS! If you are rushing the kid out of your house as soon as it turns 18 then you shouldn't have had it in the first place. It doesn't make sense to bring an innocent person to this awful dimension , and then abandon it when it needs you the most.
40, 50 and 60 year old sons staying with them and don’t even contribute to the light bill that Tyler was talking about. These people are a joke. Misery loves company.
As someone who works in Healthcare in Skilled Nursing Facilities and Assisted living facilities...elder Jail is absolutely correct...and the visitors are few and far in between... Before the pandemic, i used to go and visit them and have lunch with some because they were just so lonely it was heartbreaking (people with 4-5 kids)..I met one woman with 9 kids and she said "1 mom can care for 9 kids..9 kids can't take care of 1 mom"..ouchie!!!🥺 So yah kids are not a solid retirement plan at all....
Hell my neighbor God rest her soul passed away at 98 had 2 living kids not once did they visit her for the 20 years I lived there until she passed away to dig through her belongings 😡… Me and my other neighbor were her kids we made sure she was okay.
@@victoriasegall3404 No, because I don't have children. I didn't make children in hope that they'd grow up to take me as their burden... Also, I don't have to mind my business the same way you're not telling this woman to mind hers. It's simple, some parents actually quite a few of them weren't good parents
So many people having children out of fear- the fear of loneliness. But why do they reduce loneliness to old age? If the childfree lifestyle doomed one to loneliness, you'd experience this throughout your entire life, not just when you turn 80. The logic is not there.
And they always end up alone anyway. Their kids end up moving out, and away from their hometown, and their spouses end up dying decades before them. So that "loneliness" they're trying to avoid is gonna happen anyway 😂 At least the people who thrive in solitude in their younger years won't have a mental breakdown bc we are used to be single. People with autophobia on the other hand might jump off a bridge if the house is too quiet. It's actually sad lol
@@chitlinjuice Yeah the people that struggle the most are the ones who were married for, like, 50 years, and then one of them dies. The surviving spouse does not do well.
I'd rather have the life I want NOW and die alone instead of forcing to do all the things I hate. Why would I choose years of guaranteed misery over a few years of potential loneliness! Love the floating rock comment! 😂
if anything, God forbid, happens to my husband of 22 years, I will NEVER want the BURDEN of another man in my life. Y'all really out here wanting non stop labor and mommying while giving the bare minimum. I daydream of a future being able to go about a day without having to think of or cater to the needs of anyone but myself
I’m a man and I don’t have kids either and ppl say who’s going to care for you when you’re old. I’m going to care for myself when I’m old. I know ppl that got kids and they still don’t have nobody to help take care of them. So even if I had kids there’s no guarantee somebody will take care of me.
Say it again for those in the back!! Loneliness doesn't come from lack of external sources it's all internal. It's a shame how people put their insecurities on those who stay out the way instead of looking within themselves. I respect you for putting these people in their place and speaking the truth!! Peace and love forever and always!!🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Spoken by somebody who isnt disabled and isolated and sees people maybe once a month. Loneliness is very real and it foesnt come from being a contented introvert, it comes from being isolated and never seeing or having anyone meaningful in your life. Old age loneliness is like having your family die and then get put in solitary confinement.
There is no guarantee that your children are going to take care of you in your golden years, and you should already have a plan in place for retirement, or just thug it out. Parents should not want to be a burden to their children anyway.
I agree with most of your statement. But I beg to differ to call a parent a burden to their children. Most good parents bare the burden of their children even after they become adults! That’s selfish to say!
@@Bloomingflowers0000right because the parents CHOSE to have their children. Their children didn't ASK to be born. So the burden will always be on the parents, regardless of age. That's why some people don't want children. They don't want to shoulder that burden. And that's ok!
Tara your videos never disappoint. The funny part is most of these people can’t even get their kids to empty the trash but they are banking on these same children to care for them in their old age…yea sure! Lol Its getting comical at this point.
My mom had 4 living kids when she died and only two of us took care of her at the end of her life. The one favorite kid that she cared about so much lived 6 hours away and moved even further away.
My story too! My mom has 3. My youngest Travis was her heart. He was pretext of mom. Travis told me that he felt like he was fading, like he wasn't going to be around long. He was fit, never on drugs or in the streets, so I said boy you're going to be alright. The look on his face made me cry. He told me I had to be ok. I said don't tell me to be ok. I need you so you better be ok. A week later he passed in front of us. We were all shocked but it made mom decline fast. She was diagnosed with dementia at 58 a few months later. I couldn't even talk about my brother because she thought he was still living. I took care of her with honor. Some family told me to put her in a home. Not my momma! My mom's siblings that she spoiled didn't help. My oldest brother didn't visit her but once in 3 years. When she passed last year the day after Christmas they all talked about me like a dog. Yet they didn't help or visit. They were only interested in what she left. In short, she's right! Have as many or none of you chose but don't do it for selfish reasons.
@@neri3376 it was pretty obvious that she didn't want to be a mom. She wasn't involved in most of what we did. My sister and I were not treated as well as the sons but in the end, it was us girls who took care of her.
@neri3376 I can only speak for myself. My mom was not perfect, but no parent is. She did her best with the tools that her mom passed her and I'm grateful. The older I became, the more I understood. A year before she passed everything that I always wanted to hear, she said. My older brother missed that gift. In unforgiveness, he missed a beautiful blessing. Today, he said, for the first time, I never looked at how I was as a child, and the battles that mom fought with dad & family while caring for us. There is nothing that would've prevented me from caring for my mom, and it was so hard.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again. I would much rather someone who knows they do NOT want kids to not have them, than to have them because society says so and add to the broken people we already have in this world. And this is coming from someone who does actually want to have a child someday. I fully respect her decision and I think society needs to learn how to see an opinion that’s different than what they were taught or actually believe and move on or mind their business. Everybody giving her shit about her decision to not have kids is not going to be impacted by it or even remember that she made that decision five ten years from now. The argument of “who’s going to take care of you when you’’re old?” isn’t even a good argument. Kids are people, not little servants for you to boss around. TL;DR: if her decisions about her life don’t impact yours and you ain’t gonna remember she made it in five years, mind your business and let her do her. And stop telling people to have kids so they don’t die alone. That is not a good reason to have kids.
I couldn't have said it better myself!! I wholeheartedly agree! I actually love children & always wanted to have at least one! However, I've always been a very logical & rational person! I'm an observer & learner of others mistakes & decisions! I've seen too many around me struggling within relationships & marriages because they're not getting enough support from their significant other, baby mama/baby daddy drama, financial struggles, generational poverty, depression, career setbacks, instability, deep regret, resentment, etc etc. How I see it, as much as I would love to have a child of my own in a two parent home, with unconditional love, support & stability, from what I've been running into, I haven't seen or met anyone who makes me feel completely secure in moving forward with that decision! Don't get me started on the mortality rates for BW nowadays! It's just not a risk that is appealing to me & I don't understand how some women, esp us BW, don't understand how sacred your womb & your life is! You're literally risking your life! Sorry for my long comment! Smh 🤦♀️
@ericabelcher8760 it's all good you're lengthy comment spoke volumes!! and ima guy I had the same mindset I still do have it... I have a daughter 2yrs old and a son 14yrs old. I Got careless a bit, as a father now im their best friend
Having children is not about lonliness...its about blessings n connection...i became a mom at 36 so I saw both sides ...being motherless for a long time n becoming a mom...grateful for my blessing for sure...
Same! I was 36 and looooved to sleep. But when I had my son I knew those days were over... but I was SO ok with that. Cuz by then, I was so ready and looked like I was in my twenties (i guess that beauty sleep helped) 😊 lmao! Im 41 now... I tell the young folks to wait to have kids (if they decide to). Live your life, cuz your parenthood is no joke. Wouldn't change a thing tho.
My sister and her husband were complaining about the possibility of her mother-in-law moving near them. "We'd have to entertain her..." She actually did end up moving near them. And then she moved back to her original state about a year later. Guess she personally found out how little interest they had in giving her the time of day.
This is the thing someone in my family keeps saying to me. Having kids doesn’t automatically mean they’re going to be there for you later nor alive nor available nor willing, and either way people have to pay for services to take care of them whether they have kids or not, AND if one takes care of their own body they are more likely to be able to do things for themselves until the day they die of old age. It’s all about personal responsibility, and using children for this purpose is just morally wrong. I love your content!
I told my kids to put me in a nursing home and enjoy their lives if I get to where I’m out of my mind and can’t care for myself. I don’t want my kids to be my caregivers. I did that mess for my grandparents and it broke me down watching them deteriorate.
I'm gonna start one: "Oh no...what am I gonna do with all these free time for napping and all these disposable incomes? I guess I will cry myself to sleep in a resort spa in Biarritz!" 😅😅😅😅
You are not alone!!! I too have no desire to have kids - and there is nothing wrong with that - but people think and say the stupidest crap!!! Most black women have 3 kids by 2 fathers by 40!!!!
I notice alot of men seem to comment on your videos alot, saying very condescending things! Everyone doesn't have to agree with each other! You're entitled to your opinion but if you disagree with her, the belittling stuff is unnecessary! Its just ironic to me that ppl will chastise women for having several kids, chastise you for being single, chastise you if you don't desire kids/celibate, or chastise you for being divorced! The same ones who complain about a random stranger not wanting kids & minding their business will be the same ones, usually who complain on here about abortions, too! I think ppl need to pick a complaint, stick to it or just go sit down somewhere! Breathe!! My goodness! Smdh 🤦♀️
Truth Proven Fact 💯 Point, for the females of the 🌎 , It's damned if you do it's still damned if you don't , In this man's reasoning mind's 🌎 . Along with all the faults and all the blame no matter what it is .
Men just hate women and have an insatiable desire to control all women. So any decision we make pisses them off. Deep down, I think they believe women shouldn't make their own decisions without the approval of RANDOM men. But you're right. They hate baby mamas, and simultaneously hate childfree women. Like you said, pick a complaint and stick with it 😂
You are so right. These bitter backward men get on here trying to silence her with their nonsense because they don't want women, especially young women, to wake up and cut off their validation supply. The type of men trying to scare her into having children are looking for suckers to get pregnant by them while they are cardboard cut out dads. They rely on the woman doing all the work while they have a little being that validates their virility and, therefore, their weak minded idea of masculinity. Ladies please please please opt out.
I understand what you mean. Unfortunately for myself, back when I was living with my family (now deceased), it was a very judgmental and intolerant borough in Montreal I grew up in. I mean to say that EVERY girl wound up a mother once an adult, because it was "expected", and to go against the social order was like going to work the streets. I was the first woman to defy these people, and this rigid and backwards expectation, and oh, boy, did I get the 💩 judged out of me! I moved to another borough with my mom and...I got judged AGAIN, and over an innocuous remark I made about being unmarried and childfree. My next door neighbour, a 40-ish man who couldn't keep a woman to save his life, became angry and bellowed at me:"So go get married and have children! It's part of life! It's part of liiife!" Whoa! Take the bass AND the hostile tone out of your voice when you speak to me! Obviously, I didn't deserve to be spoken to like that, and shamed. But he was also without offspring. Did I judge Darren for it? No. He crossed a boundary, and THAT is the number 1 problem I'd had with such people. The men were WORSE than the women. Sorry, this message is long, I know. Any thoughts? 🌻
Keep in mind that just because you have children doesn't guarantee they'll help take care of you in old age. The likelihood is that the kids will throw you in a retirement home or a senior home. They'll visit you maybe twice a year. The reality is it's very rare to hear positive stories about adult kids taking care of their elderly parents.
As an introverted ex healthcare worker idk what's worse...watching patients pass alone or 30 people on deck waiting for you to just please go so they can get to the $$$$. Both broke my heart tbh...
I completely agree with you sis! I know of MANY mothers whose children were raised well but don’t have time to spend with their parents. These days you have to make plans for your future self- with the expectation that you might not have your children catering to your needs otherwise you will be one sad, lonely and depressed individual in your latter years. People can find other friendships or ways of connecting with others I.e volunteering, participating in hobbies that you enjoy and taking care of your overall wellbeing. That’s a much better plan for your long term life plan than banking on todays “children” to be there for you when you’re old. Sad, but very true reality.
I have heard this so much from people who work in hospice. Idk why people think automatically every single child will take care of their parents. Couldn't be further from the truth
Yeah but this is stupid. Name one young person ( childbearing age) who ever said " gee, I'll need somebody to take care of me when I'm old, I better have sex". NOBODY. LOL. Think about it. AND, if birth control was gone tomorrow, see how many cynics would remain celibate so they "don't bring another life into this cruel world".
@@deborahdean8867 You'd be surprised how many parents argue that having someone to take care of you when you're old is a good enough reason to have kids.
@@jennyperpa5302 old people. It's a thing old people say. And why? Usually because they got old and realized how hard it was, and then REALLY appreciate their kids for helping them. Nobody realizes anything about old age till they get there. the ones who bring this up or ask this question are old people grateful for the help they get. If they were old snd their kids abandoned them, it wouldnt occur to them to mention it. AND, think! Who has sex planning on old age? That would be say 15 to 30, who have you ever met, 15 to 30 who was thinking about having kids to take care of them when they're old? Nobody. Even women 40 going for ivf dont do it to have somebody take care of them, they do it to have a baby to love. Nobody thinks about retirement personal caregiver when they're young. They hardly think about saving money for retirement, much less who is going to take care of them. People are way to caught up in political talking points and cant actually use their brain and think.
@@jennyperpa5302 because they see the end cycle of life. Especially if their health is failing and their kids help them, they realize how much it means. They appreciate it and " don't know what they'd do without them". Therefore they bring it up to you. I dont think old people who have been abandoned say that. Unless you saw it as a good thing you wouldnt mention it. And like I said, nobody ever decided to have sex because they were thinking about old age. Think about it for a minute. Not even a older woman has a baby thinking if a caregiver. They have a baby because they want a baby to love. Children are brand new people, uncontaminated......depending on how you raise them. Its wonderful to see them grow and learn and be in wonder of the world. Babies are great. Kids are great. And nobody plans on having kids to have a caregiver on old age. People young enough to reproduce barely think of being old at all. They don't think about death. They're too busy living and that's a good thing. Your parents were young once too.
We were born, and came into the world, ALONE. Through the womb of a woman. When we die, we die alone. Nobody coming with ya'. So whether someone there with you or not, what's the difference. Everybody don't want kid's and that should be respected. And in this day and age I wouldn't have kids either. Luckily for me, I only had one & mines is 21.
To each his own. I absolutely LOVE my two children. I CHOSE to have them and everything that came with them. No need to have kids if you truly do not want them. That's being responsible!
I have three children 4yrs apart and I had them all before I was 30; loved it! We grew up together. HOWEVER, I do not tell ppl without children to have them or else… It’s definitely not for the faint of heart! BUT, I’m loving every bit of it; good times and not so good. Do what’s best for you and what makes your heart skip a beat🤷🏽♀️👏🏾❤️🫶🏽
Everyone is different! Some of us want kids and some don’t which is ok. Some of us want to be married and some don’t which is still ok. Kids can be a lesson or a blessing. Some kids we will give our life for and some kids can give us sorrow. With that being said enjoy your single child free life I’m not mad at you. Do your thang 👍🏾
She was referring to the world in general which is an immoral cesspool of unhappiness. I would never willingly bring another human into it. But I will find my little corner and live as happy a life I can in this world.
I just came home from the park and I was having a good time in nature by myself when I saw a couple with 3 kids crying and running. They looked miserable and at that moment I was glad to be single and child free 😂
As a child who is helping take care of her mother, let me tell you that it is a choice. Just because u have children doesn’t mean they are obligated to help you in any capacity. My brother doesn’t help with my mom but he his still her child. Don’t rely on your children, they have their own lives to live and they owe you nothing. Also to guilt a child into helping you only brings resentment. You chose to have a kid ,they did not choose you. Be grateful if they do help, and be understanding if they don’t.
I'd like to see how big she talks if there was no birth control or if there was no government social security . Would she remain celibate to free herself from the responsibility for the future? Would she completely take care of herself without a partner? Lol. Big talk from a self indulgent playgirl.
A lot of people with children are still alone in their old age. You can't depend on family when you're young, it's DELUSIONAL to think you can depend on them when you're old and needy. Nope. Just live happy now, take care of yourself, eat good so you can enjoy your life as long as possible. Ppl in my own family aren't taking care of their elder parents. It's crazy. This is a weak reason to have children.
And may TMH bless you with that❤. I have 2 babies and a husband and very happy. I didn’t want kids in the beginning but when I turned 31… I had my daughter… thee most beautiful child I ever seen and then I had my son a decade later. All thanks to TMH God❤.
I worked in healthcare for 20 years, seen people with 5 and up to 10 children and none of them was beside them when they were dying, so it's the person itself if that's what they want to do ( take care their parents that is)😐
I can honestly say I’m 39 with four children and although I love my kids deeply and they are good kids; if I had it to do all over again, I would not have had kids at all. I can tell you from others experience that kids turn and abandon their parents too. Not to mention in this economy and all the crazy going on, I wouldn’t dare try to convince anyone to have a child. I absolutely agree with your decision.
57 no children...When my biological clock stopped ticking, I was waiting for the desperation to set in. I am desperate now. Desperate to get to the freezer and enjoy me a big bowl of butter pecan ice cream, ALL BY MYSELF 😄😁
It's always nice to come across a strong character in a world full of sheep. I'm younger than you but I always look up to people older than I am who have taken a road less traveled. It helps me stay grounded knowing there's those before me living similar lives.
@@onexonesie ...For some reason, I did not see your comment until now. Thank you, for your thoughtful message 😄 I was not meant to go down the path of marriage and children. I did not give into the pressure to do so. I absolutely love, being just me, and seeing and experiencing life so personally, without others expectations blocking the view. I am not selfish. I have a caring and giving nature. I simply chose to not be divided. I feel "whole". I feel that God (Jesus) gave me a special gift. He created me, to be strong within myself, not seeking outside of myself, for the world to validate me. Hun, I truly wish you the best 😚
When we get old, we will be with old people like us who had kids and their kids see them twice a year and calls once a month. They will need company😂😂😂. Old people interact with old people.
My mom had nine kids. I, am black/l sheep. It was so sad that she gave her kids everything I, mean anything they wanted, me nothing. I, was the only one there in her dying days, the one she hated. The ones she love, it broke my heart to see how they never came to visit her sick. She had nine only one was there, in the time of need, I love that lady, and always will.
I shop for some old people. One lady moved to NC with her husband from New Orleans, and started a family. -2/3 kids grew up and moved several states away. -1/3 kids moved a few cities over. But he is ill. -Her husband passed over a decade ago. She’s “alone”. But she had her neighbors, some friends and ppl like me. (Her daughter came and put her in a facility) Starting a family doesn’t guarantee you will have someone.
I feel like if u work in the medical field with old folks u understand tht comment, it’s truly sad when ppl have no family, nurses treat patients like shit and ppl end up dying faster due to trash care, after wht Ive seen in the nicest fanciest nursing homes, I’m avoiding nursing homes like a plague
You’re a CNA? Register Nurses have a completely different perspective cause we have completely different obligations just like a physician. And the kids show up and don’t even help do anything in the hospital. A drink of water, doing there hair. Kids guarantees nothing.
That's the funny part. I don't even live near my parents and haven't for years. I love them and have no qualms with them, but I have a life. I may see them once every year or every couple years. They act like their kids will never grow up to have their own life, family, or even move away. These people are delusional. I'm planning on moving out the country too, so to all the parents who think their kids will be glued to their hip and they won't ever be alone, think again 😂
That’s why it’s important to raise your kids in a certain way and not idolize money, by putting Jesus first. Allow God to be the top priority so I can raise my kids in a certain way. I’m very close to my mom and couldn’t imagine just leaving her and not making sure I take care of her or simply there for her if she needs me. And my mom does the same thing for her mother and her father when he was alive. It’s the way we were raised so it comes second nature. Matter of fact whoever God puts in my path to show love and give time to, I want to honor that. We have to soften our hearts and not be so selfish towards other people.
The kids care, but they also grow up to be adults with their own life. It's selfish to have kids with the sole expectation that they're here to make you happy, give you a purpose, and keep you from feeling lonely. Kids eventually grow up and have dreams and responsibilities of their own.
@chitlinjuice there is nothing wrong with caring for aging parents (especially if you were loved and cared for by them). It's not selfish to want to spend your last days with family. I say this as a CF person. We as humans should love and care for each other. I don't subscribe to the attitude of "f" them kids or "f" your parents (there are reasons to cut family off, i get that). Humans need to do better.
I have approx.10 Grown Godchildren w/ GG Children. I desired Kids..But God desired to make me "A Bridge" To get them to a Better Life. I read the comments ..and Yes, I hear the same...about how some children treat parents as they age. Met So Many Women who could not have Kids. I am still on my "Bridge Crossing Assignment" as given by God...and I am fine with it. ❤...Prayers 4 All.
The one thing you learn when you talk to old people is that you can never say never. People change and some things are irreversible, and regret can be forever.
I'm a successful black male but my greatest success is my 2 children until you have children you will never understand disappointment or love. The love you have for your children compares to nothing in this world, trust me I have lived many lives drug dealer banger, special forces operator, electrician, pipefitter, project manager. Son of the Ceo of NRG. Would trade it all including my life for my children....thats love.
Good for you 😊. Telling someone they will never understand love until they have kids is dumb though. People have families, friends, loved ones, passions, hobbies, and countless other ways to feel love. YOU did not understand love until you had kids. That doesn’t mean everyone else is the same way.
All you did was ejaculate though. Can we stop making having sex an accomplishment and kids a trophy? Most people can have kids, it's literally something we are all biologically capable of. And stop telling people that they aren't capable of love bc they don't have children. There are plenty of parents that still aren't capable of love and traumatize their kids because of it. If you have the love of God, then you are capable of love. And BTW many parents only have love for their kids and immediate family and are self centered. Anybody else outside of that bubble is usually neglected and not considered so tell me what type of love is that? Limited love?
😂😂 I'm with u on this sis, everyone trying to make me have kids, hell I'm out here deciding on whether I should eat or put gas in my car , I think I'll pass on the kids
FYI, I have a taste of what happens when you're single and get old without kids bc I'm disabled, divorced, and no kids... and will NEVER remarry again after what I went through the 1st time around. I volunteer. I talk to my friends and have them over. I'm involved in my church. I talk to my brothers and sister, neices and nephews daily. I host the holidays here at my house. I'm involved in many ministries. I read. I paint. I pray. I meditate. I take quiet naps. I hired a lovely caregiver/housekeeper. (I'm turning 40 this yr but have been disabled and chronically ill for a minute now) My older and/or disabled friends with kids only talk about how their kids don't call enough or come around enough. I don't know too many women who take much joy or receive a lot of help from their adult children. Yes life is hard but I'm thankful I have the life I have, and don't want anyone else's.
The person’s comment is ironic.😹 I haven’t seen my mom and dad for 10years. I barely talk to them. They live in the Caribbean and I live in Europe. If something happens, I guess my sister will be there. 🤷🏽♀️
My grandma has two sons now she has Alzheimer’s, both of her sons, which is my dad and Uncle takes very good care of her. And when my dad and uncle were living their own life, my grandmother had five granddaughters and one grandson, and she loved doing things with us. She has left us with some great memories and amazing knowledge to pass down to generations and generations.
I have NO kids! My sister has six! I watched them drive her crazy trying to take a break at my peaceful house!! Nobody gets to spend the night at my house, "keep the problems you created to yourself. "
It comes down to community. Society has gotten so individualized that people think the sole duty of caring for aging persons is the child’s responsibility alone. That is wrong. It takes a village. My grandma’s neighbors check on each other regularly. She has friends. She has her church community. She has other organizations where bonds are formed and that’s what counts. So even as I am caught up in my life, can’t call her as much as I like, let alone visit, I know she is loved, nurtured and looked after. So kids are not “needed” for this. That said, it is an honor to be able to care for my grandmother. But that is only because of the family values she instilled. Even in nature: there is a network if trees communication and sharing sustenance with one another. When an older tree begins to die, the younger trees gather their roots and collect around the tree so it’s not alone. Nature can do it. And I find that beautiful. Not everyone was raised this way. Some people have trauma. Some ppl just don’t want that connection. And that’s ok.
It’s people who have several kids and still “died alone”. Just because you have children doesn’t mean that they’re going to stop their lives and look after you. These kids will throw you right in a nursing home! 😂
True. I am a nurse who has seen misery. Kids not being at the nursing home even when parents were dying. About 99% of seniors in nursing homes die alone.
Having children doesn't mean they will automatically take care of you when you're older. There is no promise that they will even be alive, able or willing to take care of you when the time comes.We come into this existence by ourselves and we leave the same way.
I have an adult son. It wasnt easy even WITH 2 PARENTS! I don't understand why ppl child shame ppl that don't have children! If i had to start over, my son wouldn't be here. This world sucks right now and to bring a child now, ON PURPOSE, would make you a bad parent!
The #1 complaint of the dying, isn't making more money, or even not paying bills but rather they'd wish they had more and better relationships with friends and loved ones. It's literally the #1 dying wish. It's not about loneliness, it's about relationship, it's about LOVE. However i believe ppl should be allowed their own decisions without question and comment of judgment from others, so if that's what you want, do you boo
People really use WHOLE sentient beings as a retirement plan. The audacity🤣🤣🤣
Right!!! 😂😂😂
It's not USING!! If you both want the same thing! Lions live in Prides, would you say Lions USE other sentient lions as a retirement plan? And what is the purpose of being "Sentient" if you have nobody to share that with? Sentient beings tend to want to experience family and children...etc
@@freddymercury2259 I think you missed the whole point of OP’s comment. What OP is saying is that people only want to have kids so they can take care of them in their old age. If your only reason to bring children into this evil world is to have them take care of you, as if they don’t have a life that they want to live and enjoy when they grow up, that is truly selfish.
@@itspiinkyrose4324 yes, that is the cycle of life! That is how humans evolved, would u say that to a pride of lions?? "independence" was forced upon ppl in the west!!!
@@freddymercury2259 humans evolved by their ancestors giving them the tools to be able to survive, not by birthing children to take care of the elderly. Certain genetics AND certain skills were passed down from generation to generation to increase the chances of their legacy being carried on for generations. You cannot compare humans to lions when we are literally at the top of the food chain, now a days humans don’t really have to get it out the mud like wild animals do, and it still remains the same for them as well, certain genetics and skills were passed down from generation to generation (I.e sharp teeth, fast running, and learning how to hunt). This is a way to ensure the survival of the future generations of lions, not to ensure the survival of an older lion, because at some point the elders are going to die whether they’re being taken care of or not. The importance is to teach offspring how to survive when they are gone, so that the species live on and don’t become extinct. Female lions don’t even have the luxury of a pride when it’s time for them to give birth, they have to leave the pride to protect their offspring from the male lion, and it’s in that time that they have to fend for themselves and their offspring. Even when they return to the pride, they have to be cautious when introducing their offspring to the rest of the pride out of fear the male lion won’t accept them and end up killing their offspring, which would be detrimental to the survival of lions right? At some point, the male lions leave the pride they grew up in once they have learned how to properly survive in the wild, they don’t stay to take care of their elder lions. They go and start their own pride, not worrying about the generation that birthed them. Same goes with other wild animals as well, they don’t stay to take care of their elders, they leave.
I’m old and my kids have their OWN lives. They ain’t over here keeping me from falling down-- TRUST ME!
Reality!!!
No. But they will be there when you leave, they make sure your body is cared for. A cat will just eat you.
@@rousinrabblecorrect unless she was a bad mom and they ain’t stand her
@rousinrabble hate to break it to you but nobody that is no more aka unalive cares nor can know what happens to their body. The body is the problem of the living, not the de*d so, please, stop😄.
@@rousinrabbleI'm dead, I could care less about what happens to my body. I tell my family all the time, save the money and just cremate me.
Majority of people with kids complain about them, have to deal with constant behavior issues, financial struggles, putting dreams on hold to take care of kids, can't go anywhere because no one will watch them, can't wait until they are 18 (as if parenting stops there). And let's not forget the parents who have 40 year old sons still living with them and paying no bills. Or a daughter who moves back in with babies for you to babysit. Tell me again, what is there to desire here? Because they clearly are not enjoying their choice. #kidfree
I COULDN'T have said it better myself!!!!!!!
THIS! If you are rushing the kid out of your house as soon as it turns 18 then you shouldn't have had it in the first place. It doesn't make sense to bring an innocent person to this awful dimension , and then abandon it when it needs you the most.
40, 50 and 60 year old sons staying with them and don’t even contribute to the light bill that Tyler was talking about. These people are a joke. Misery loves company.
True true
Bravo! You said it beautifully! 😊💯
I worked in a retirement home, most of them had kids, very small percentage actually visited their parents. It felt like elder jail.
Not elder jail💀💀💀
😂😂😂🖤👁👁🔑🤴🏿👸🏿🦁
As someone who works in Healthcare in Skilled Nursing Facilities and Assisted living facilities...elder Jail is absolutely correct...and the visitors are few and far in between...
Before the pandemic, i used to go and visit them and have lunch with some because they were just so lonely it was heartbreaking (people with 4-5 kids)..I met one woman with 9 kids and she said "1 mom can care for 9 kids..9 kids can't take care of 1 mom"..ouchie!!!🥺
So yah kids are not a solid retirement plan at all....
The fact is society for the most part does care about the old, weak,or poor. Sometimes that includes your own damn kids.
No shit, they’re in a retirement home
The goal is to be in a family home at that age
Hell my neighbor God rest her soul passed away at 98 had 2 living kids not once did they visit her for the 20 years I lived there until she passed away to dig through her belongings 😡… Me and my other neighbor were her kids we made sure she was okay.
Question is, did she deserve to have her kids in her life?
@@ladywesker5307exactly
@@ladywesker5307 NONE of your f'ing business!
@@ladywesker5307 And do YOU deserve to have your kids in YOUR life? Mind your own business!
@@victoriasegall3404 No, because I don't have children. I didn't make children in hope that they'd grow up to take me as their burden...
Also, I don't have to mind my business the same way you're not telling this woman to mind hers. It's simple, some parents actually quite a few of them weren't good parents
😂😂😂😂
Not a Bae Bae kid.
Some of these people don’t even want the ones they have.
Fr💀💀💀
True true
And don’t! 😅
This the comment I was looking for!
Exactly!😊
So many people having children out of fear- the fear of loneliness. But why do they reduce loneliness to old age? If the childfree lifestyle doomed one to loneliness, you'd experience this throughout your entire life, not just when you turn 80. The logic is not there.
Bam!🎯💯✔
💯💯💯💯💯
And they always end up alone anyway. Their kids end up moving out, and away from their hometown, and their spouses end up dying decades before them. So that "loneliness" they're trying to avoid is gonna happen anyway 😂 At least the people who thrive in solitude in their younger years won't have a mental breakdown bc we are used to be single. People with autophobia on the other hand might jump off a bridge if the house is too quiet. It's actually sad lol
@@chitlinjuice Yeah the people that struggle the most are the ones who were married for, like, 50 years, and then one of them dies. The surviving spouse does not do well.
@@chitlinjuiceyou’re right. I learned to love my alone time in my mid 30s. The amount of ish you will put up with out of fear of loneliness is crazy.
I'd rather have the life I want NOW and die alone instead of forcing to do all the things I hate. Why would I choose years of guaranteed misery over a few years of potential loneliness!
Love the floating rock comment! 😂
if anything, God forbid, happens to my husband of 22 years, I will NEVER want the BURDEN of another man in my life. Y'all really out here wanting non stop labor and mommying while giving the bare minimum. I daydream of a future being able to go about a day without having to think of or cater to the needs of anyone but myself
It’s funny how both sides feel the need to justify their choices. Just live people. Be happy and live your life.
Girl we on the internet 😂
Exactly honey❤
I’m a man and I don’t have kids either and ppl say who’s going to care for you when you’re old. I’m going to care for myself when I’m old. I know ppl that got kids and they still don’t have nobody to help take care of them. So even if I had kids there’s no guarantee somebody will take care of me.
Say it again for those in the back!! Loneliness doesn't come from lack of external sources it's all internal. It's a shame how people put their insecurities on those who stay out the way instead of looking within themselves. I respect you for putting these people in their place and speaking the truth!! Peace and love forever and always!!🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Spoken by somebody who isnt disabled and isolated and sees people maybe once a month. Loneliness is very real and it foesnt come from being a contented introvert, it comes from being isolated and never seeing or having anyone meaningful in your life. Old age loneliness is like having your family die and then get put in solitary confinement.
Don’t just sit on the house…Go to church!
Many people in nursing home with kids never come see their parents and the ones with them be ready for them to go. 🤷🏾♀️
There is no guarantee that your children are going to take care of you in your golden years, and you should already have a plan in place for retirement, or just thug it out.
Parents should not want to be a burden to their children anyway.
I agree with most of your statement. But I beg to differ to call a parent a burden to their children. Most good parents bare the burden of their children even after they become adults! That’s selfish to say!
@@Bloomingflowers0000right because the parents CHOSE to have their children.
Their children didn't ASK to be born.
So the burden will always be on the parents, regardless of age.
That's why some people don't want children. They don't want to shoulder that burden.
And that's ok!
Tara your videos never disappoint.
The funny part is most of these people can’t even get their kids to empty the trash but they are banking on these same children to care for them in their old age…yea sure! Lol Its getting comical at this point.
💯💯💯 can’t EVEN get they kids to pick up a lil piece of paper off the floor but quick to say, “If I had a baby, you gotta do it.” Whatever!
Tell it & have of them ddnt even raise their own kids 😂😂😂😂
Nobody ever had sex so they'd have a caretaker in their old age. Not one. Get a brain because that's not what the question means.
Being almost 40, I don't regret my choice to be single/unmarried and childfree.
Lmao "your choice" hahahaha good one pal
Smart.
Enjoy that nursing home. If you have that privilege 😅
@@Tinfoiledhat yes most ppl have a choice to be single, i know it’s unheard of in your case since..
@seoulku nobody chooses to be single...they just lack skill at getting a partner
My mom had 4 living kids when she died and only two of us took care of her at the end of her life. The one favorite kid that she cared about so much lived 6 hours away and moved even further away.
Same. I’m in the same boat (4 of us), but I’m the only one caring for her. Smh.
My story too! My mom has 3. My youngest Travis was her heart. He was pretext of mom. Travis told me that he felt like he was fading, like he wasn't going to be around long. He was fit, never on drugs or in the streets, so I said boy you're going to be alright. The look on his face made me cry. He told me I had to be ok. I said don't tell me to be ok. I need you so you better be ok. A week later he passed in front of us. We were all shocked but it made mom decline fast. She was diagnosed with dementia at 58 a few months later. I couldn't even talk about my brother because she thought he was still living. I took care of her with honor. Some family told me to put her in a home. Not my momma! My mom's siblings that she spoiled didn't help. My oldest brother didn't visit her but once in 3 years. When she passed last year the day after Christmas they all talked about me like a dog. Yet they didn't help or visit. They were only interested in what she left.
In short, she's right! Have as many or none of you chose but don't do it for selfish reasons.
Well how terrible was mom? Y’all like to act like moms are saints but a lot of them ain’t ish.
@@neri3376 it was pretty obvious that she didn't want to be a mom. She wasn't involved in most of what we did. My sister and I were not treated as well as the sons but in the end, it was us girls who took care of her.
@neri3376 I can only speak for myself. My mom was not perfect, but no parent is. She did her best with the tools that her mom passed her and I'm grateful. The older I became, the more I understood. A year before she passed everything that I always wanted to hear, she said. My older brother missed that gift. In unforgiveness, he missed a beautiful blessing. Today, he said, for the first time, I never looked at how I was as a child, and the battles that mom fought with dad & family while caring for us.
There is nothing that would've prevented me from caring for my mom, and it was so hard.
Our landlord will find us when the rent ain’t getting paid lol!😅
😂😂😂😂😂. Omg, I said the sane thing. And two friends have keys. My body will be found. 😂😂😂😂
Facts 🤣🤣🤣
😂😭
Took the landlord to find Joyce Vincent too.
😂😂 facts
I am57. Nokids. Never on birth control.... just no blessing from God.
Birth control really be messing with our bodies that’s why I’m not on it I never slept with anybody either and I don’t plan to
Maybe that is your blessing Sis. Plenty of people are catching hell with their children as we speak. I pray you live your best life on your terms.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again. I would much rather someone who knows they do NOT want kids to not have them, than to have them because society says so and add to the broken people we already have in this world. And this is coming from someone who does actually want to have a child someday. I fully respect her decision and I think society needs to learn how to see an opinion that’s different than what they were taught or actually believe and move on or mind their business. Everybody giving her shit about her decision to not have kids is not going to be impacted by it or even remember that she made that decision five ten years from now. The argument of “who’s going to take care of you when you’’re old?” isn’t even a good argument. Kids are people, not little servants for you to boss around.
TL;DR: if her decisions about her life don’t impact yours and you ain’t gonna remember she made it in five years, mind your business and let her do her. And stop telling people to have kids so they don’t die alone. That is not a good reason to have kids.
Thank you! Today, tomorrow, and for always!😊❤
I couldn't have said it better myself!! I wholeheartedly agree! I actually love children & always wanted to have at least one! However, I've always been a very logical & rational person! I'm an observer & learner of others mistakes & decisions! I've seen too many around me struggling within relationships & marriages because they're not getting enough support from their significant other, baby mama/baby daddy drama, financial struggles, generational poverty, depression, career setbacks, instability, deep regret, resentment, etc etc. How I see it, as much as I would love to have a child of my own in a two parent home, with unconditional love, support & stability, from what I've been running into, I haven't seen or met anyone who makes me feel completely secure in moving forward with that decision! Don't get me started on the mortality rates for BW nowadays! It's just not a risk that is appealing to me & I don't understand how some women, esp us BW, don't understand how sacred your womb & your life is! You're literally risking your life! Sorry for my long comment! Smh 🤦♀️
This one said it all for me. Well written!!!
@@ericabelcher8760 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
@ericabelcher8760 it's all good you're lengthy comment spoke volumes!! and ima guy I had the same mindset I still do have it... I have a daughter 2yrs old and a son 14yrs old. I Got careless a bit, as a father now im their best friend
Having children is not about lonliness...its about blessings n connection...i became a mom at 36 so I saw both sides ...being motherless for a long time n becoming a mom...grateful for my blessing for sure...
Same! I was 36 and looooved to sleep. But when I had my son I knew those days were over... but I was SO ok with that. Cuz by then, I was so ready and looked like I was in my twenties (i guess that beauty sleep helped) 😊 lmao! Im 41 now... I tell the young folks to wait to have kids (if they decide to). Live your life, cuz your parenthood is no joke. Wouldn't change a thing tho.
It's definitely selfish
Kids are not gonna be wanting to come around and entertain you.
Kids grow up & become adults😂
My sister and her husband were complaining about the possibility of her mother-in-law moving near them. "We'd have to entertain her..." She actually did end up moving near them. And then she moved back to her original state about a year later. Guess she personally found out how little interest they had in giving her the time of day.
This is the thing someone in my family keeps saying to me. Having kids doesn’t automatically mean they’re going to be there for you later nor alive nor available nor willing, and either way people have to pay for services to take care of them whether they have kids or not, AND if one takes care of their own body they are more likely to be able to do things for themselves until the day they die of old age. It’s all about personal responsibility, and using children for this purpose is just morally wrong. I love your content!
What will some people do when they get old and them said kids don't call or come over to check on them....its real out here baby.
I told my kids to put me in a nursing home and enjoy their lives if I get to where I’m out of my mind and can’t care for myself. I don’t want my kids to be my caregivers. I did that mess for my grandparents and it broke me down watching them deteriorate.
There is a subreddit called r/regretfulparents. There isn't one called r/regretfulchildfreepeople and I'm guessing there never will be 😂😂😂
😂❤❤
Exactly!!😂😂
I'm gonna start one: "Oh no...what am I gonna do with all these free time for napping and all these disposable incomes? I guess I will cry myself to sleep in a resort spa in Biarritz!" 😅😅😅😅
@@continuousself-improvement1879 😂😂😂😂
You are not alone!!! I too have no desire to have kids - and there is nothing wrong with that - but people think and say the stupidest crap!!! Most black women have 3 kids by 2 fathers by 40!!!!
🤢🤢🤢
I notice alot of men seem to comment on your videos alot, saying very condescending things! Everyone doesn't have to agree with each other! You're entitled to your opinion but if you disagree with her, the belittling stuff is unnecessary! Its just ironic to me that ppl will chastise women for having several kids, chastise you for being single, chastise you if you don't desire kids/celibate, or chastise you for being divorced! The same ones who complain about a random stranger not wanting kids & minding their business will be the same ones, usually who complain on here about abortions, too! I think ppl need to pick a complaint, stick to it or just go sit down somewhere! Breathe!! My goodness! Smdh 🤦♀️
Truth Proven Fact 💯 Point, for the females of the 🌎 , It's damned if you do it's still damned if you don't , In this man's reasoning mind's 🌎 . Along with all the faults and all the blame no matter what it is .
Men just hate women and have an insatiable desire to control all women. So any decision we make pisses them off. Deep down, I think they believe women shouldn't make their own decisions without the approval of RANDOM men. But you're right. They hate baby mamas, and simultaneously hate childfree women. Like you said, pick a complaint and stick with it 😂
Men want to make you feel bad about yourself no matter what. It seems to be their goal in life.
You are so right. These bitter backward men get on here trying to silence her with their nonsense because they don't want women, especially young women, to wake up and cut off their validation supply. The type of men trying to scare her into having children are looking for suckers to get pregnant by them while they are cardboard cut out dads. They rely on the woman doing all the work while they have a little being that validates their virility and, therefore, their weak minded idea of masculinity. Ladies please please please opt out.
Because they know she would never choose cicadas.
The way people cope by projecting, I've learned to take nothing personal 😂😂
I understand what you mean. Unfortunately for myself, back when I was living with my family (now deceased), it was a very judgmental and intolerant borough in Montreal I grew up in. I mean to say that EVERY girl wound up a mother once an adult, because it was "expected", and to go against the social order was like going to work the streets. I was the first woman to defy these people, and this rigid and backwards expectation, and oh, boy, did I get the 💩 judged out of me! I moved to another borough with my mom and...I got judged AGAIN, and over an innocuous remark I made about being unmarried and childfree. My next door neighbour, a 40-ish man who couldn't keep a woman to save his life, became angry and bellowed at me:"So go get married and have children! It's part of life! It's part of liiife!" Whoa! Take the bass AND the hostile tone out of your voice when you speak to me! Obviously, I didn't deserve to be spoken to like that, and shamed. But he was also without offspring. Did I judge Darren for it? No. He crossed a boundary, and THAT is the number 1 problem I'd had with such people. The men were WORSE than the women. Sorry, this message is long, I know. Any thoughts? 🌻
Keep in mind that just because you have children doesn't guarantee they'll help take care of you in old age. The likelihood is that the kids will throw you in a retirement home or a senior home. They'll visit you maybe twice a year. The reality is it's very rare to hear positive stories about adult kids taking care of their elderly parents.
Well, I don’t regret not playing sports. I don’t want to do that either. 😂😂😂😂😂
Yesss!! I say the same thing.
😂😂❤❤
As an introverted ex healthcare worker idk what's worse...watching patients pass alone or 30 people on deck waiting for you to just please go so they can get to the $$$$. Both broke my heart tbh...
Get to YOUR money*
I completely agree with you sis! I know of MANY mothers whose children were raised well but don’t have time to spend with their parents. These days you have to make plans for your future self- with the expectation that you might not have your children catering to your needs otherwise you will be one sad, lonely and depressed individual in your latter years. People can find other friendships or ways of connecting with others I.e volunteering, participating in hobbies that you enjoy and taking care of your overall wellbeing. That’s a much better plan for your long term life plan than banking on todays “children” to be there for you when you’re old. Sad, but very true reality.
I work hospice, i see alot of my patients with children who never visit them.
I have heard this so much from people who work in hospice. Idk why people think automatically every single child will take care of their parents. Couldn't be further from the truth
If you truly loved your child, you wouldn’t subject them to live in this world.
That’s LUVVV📚
That's an oxymoron
@@geekelly000 read it again, slowly. If you still lack understanding, explain your stance instead of simply making an ill informed comment.
@@courtney2410 I stand by my statement. I can explain why if you are interested.
@@geekelly000 you cared enough to reply to my comment, unprovoked, but not enough to explain what you meant, even when asked…ok.
Having kids as a retirement plan is like building a house of cards on sand. If they're lucky, it'll all work out. But the odds are against them.
Yeah but this is stupid. Name one young person ( childbearing age) who ever said " gee, I'll need somebody to take care of me when I'm old, I better have sex". NOBODY. LOL. Think about it. AND, if birth control was gone tomorrow, see how many cynics would remain celibate so they "don't bring another life into this cruel world".
@@deborahdean8867
You'd be surprised how many parents argue that having someone to take care of you when you're old is a good enough reason to have kids.
@@jennyperpa5302 old people. It's a thing old people say. And why? Usually because they got old and realized how hard it was, and then REALLY appreciate their kids for helping them. Nobody realizes anything about old age till they get there. the ones who bring this up or ask this question are old people grateful for the help they get. If they were old snd their kids abandoned them, it wouldnt occur to them to mention it.
AND, think! Who has sex planning on old age? That would be say 15 to 30, who have you ever met, 15 to 30 who was thinking about having kids to take care of them when they're old? Nobody. Even women 40 going for ivf dont do it to have somebody take care of them, they do it to have a baby to love. Nobody thinks about retirement personal caregiver when they're young. They hardly think about saving money for retirement, much less who is going to take care of them.
People are way to caught up in political talking points and cant actually use their brain and think.
@@deborahdean8867
Then why is, "who will take care of you when you're old", such a common bingo used against child free people?
@@jennyperpa5302 because they see the end cycle of life. Especially if their health is failing and their kids help them, they realize how much it means. They appreciate it and " don't know what they'd do without them". Therefore they bring it up to you. I dont think old people who have been abandoned say that. Unless you saw it as a good thing you wouldnt mention it. And like I said, nobody ever decided to have sex because they were thinking about old age. Think about it for a minute. Not even a older woman has a baby thinking if a caregiver. They have a baby because they want a baby to love. Children are brand new people, uncontaminated......depending on how you raise them. Its wonderful to see them grow and learn and be in wonder of the world. Babies are great. Kids are great. And nobody plans on having kids to have a caregiver on old age. People young enough to reproduce barely think of being old at all. They don't think about death. They're too busy living and that's a good thing. Your parents were young once too.
We were born, and came into the world, ALONE. Through the womb of a woman. When we die, we die alone. Nobody coming with ya'. So whether someone there with you or not, what's the difference. Everybody don't want kid's and that should be respected. And in this day and age I wouldn't have kids either. Luckily for me, I only had one & mines is 21.
Speak on it🔥🔥
To each his own. I absolutely LOVE my two children. I CHOSE to have them and everything that came with them. No need to have kids if you truly do not want them. That's being responsible!
❤❤❤❤ God bless you and your babies ❤❤❤❤ I love this ❤❤❤ we are doing God work 🎉🎉❤❤❤
@@sevenbeauty6502 Thank you. God bless you and your family, as well ❤️
I have three children 4yrs apart and I had them all before I was 30; loved it!
We grew up together.
HOWEVER, I do not tell ppl without children to have them or else…
It’s definitely not for the faint of heart!
BUT, I’m loving every bit of it; good times and not so good.
Do what’s best for you and what makes your heart skip a beat🤷🏽♀️👏🏾❤️🫶🏽
I was a teen mom, and I'm a grandmother. I totally respect your point of view.
❤️
Everyone is different! Some of us want kids and some don’t which is ok. Some of us want to be married and some don’t which is still ok. Kids can be a lesson or a blessing. Some kids we will give our life for and some kids can give us sorrow. With that being said enjoy your single child free life I’m not mad at you. Do your thang 👍🏾
Someone with sense ❤️
If you call this life “misery” how do you claim to be happy in the same sentence?
She was referring to the world in general which is an immoral cesspool of unhappiness. I would never willingly bring another human into it. But I will find my little corner and live as happy a life I can in this world.
Wow I don’t know this feeling. I love my children and they love me I couldn’t imagine my life without them.
I just came home from the park and I was having a good time in nature by myself when I saw a couple with 3 kids crying and running. They looked miserable and at that moment I was glad to be single and child free 😂
As a child who is helping take care of her mother, let me tell you that it is a choice. Just because u have children doesn’t mean they are obligated to help you in any capacity. My brother doesn’t help with my mom but he his still her child. Don’t rely on your children, they have their own lives to live and they owe you nothing. Also to guilt a child into helping you only brings resentment. You chose to have a kid ,they did not choose you. Be grateful if they do help, and be understanding if they don’t.
That's right girl! Live your damn life.
❤️❤️🤣
I'd like to see how big she talks if there was no birth control or if there was no government social security . Would she remain celibate to free herself from the responsibility for the future? Would she completely take care of herself without a partner? Lol. Big talk from a self indulgent playgirl.
Honestly this is really an awakening for me to research if having kids is something I should pursue.
💯💯💯
Well said.. I love it ❤️.
I love your wicked laugh, too 😂.
Pangea shift!? lol
🤪🤪
A lot of people with children are still alone in their old age. You can't depend on family when you're young, it's DELUSIONAL to think you can depend on them when you're old and needy. Nope. Just live happy now, take care of yourself, eat good so you can enjoy your life as long as possible. Ppl in my own family aren't taking care of their elder parents. It's crazy. This is a weak reason to have children.
Some of us actually wanted a husband and kids and still do . I’m 44...
And may TMH bless you with that❤. I have 2 babies and a husband and very happy. I didn’t want kids in the beginning but when I turned 31… I had my daughter… thee most beautiful child I ever seen and then I had my son a decade later. All thanks to TMH God❤.
A mother, wife, and family is the best gift God has given us. This generation is all messed up.
Some nationalities take great pride in caring for their elders in their later years. God bless those you do.
God bless😚
I worked in healthcare for 20 years, seen people with 5 and up to 10 children and none of them was beside them when they were dying, so it's the person itself if that's what they want to do ( take care their parents that is)😐
You may regret having them... Never a better advice... Blessing Queen 💯🇯🇲
I can honestly say I’m 39 with four children and although I love my kids deeply and they are good kids; if I had it to do all over again, I would not have had kids at all. I can tell you from others experience that kids turn and abandon their parents too. Not to mention in this economy and all the crazy going on, I wouldn’t dare try to convince anyone to have a child. I absolutely agree with your decision.
Go girl!!!! Stand your ground!!!! I wouldn't have kids in this day and time either!!
57 no children...When my biological clock stopped ticking, I was waiting for the desperation to set in. I am desperate now. Desperate to get to the freezer and enjoy me a big bowl of butter pecan ice cream, ALL BY MYSELF 😄😁
It's always nice to come across a strong character in a world full of sheep. I'm younger than you but I always look up to people older than I am who have taken a road less traveled. It helps me stay grounded knowing there's those before me living similar lives.
🤸♀️
@@tashawilliams8093 ...Best wishes, Tasha 😊
@@onexonesie ...For some reason, I did not see your comment until now.
Thank you, for your thoughtful message 😄 I was not meant to go down the path of marriage and children. I did not give into the pressure to do so. I absolutely love, being just me, and seeing and experiencing life so personally, without others expectations blocking the view. I am not selfish.
I have a caring and giving nature.
I simply chose to not be divided.
I feel "whole". I feel that God (Jesus)
gave me a special gift. He created me, to be strong within myself, not seeking outside of myself, for the world to validate me. Hun, I truly wish you the best 😚
When we get old, we will be with old people like us who had kids and their kids see them twice a year and calls once a month. They will need company😂😂😂. Old people interact with old people.
My parents had 5 kids and treated them so badly that now in their old age they are essentially ALONE. KIDS WILL NOT SAVE YOU!!!
We're living on a floating rock and we're paying bills🤣🤣👏🏿👏🏿
It’s people with kids and the kids never visit them in the nursing home.
We living on a floating rock and I have to pay bills it is a joke. Tera school for girls and women step aside Oprah. Peace.
My mom had nine kids. I, am black/l sheep. It was so sad that she gave her kids everything I, mean anything they wanted, me nothing. I, was the only one there in her dying days, the one she hated. The ones she love, it broke my heart to see how they never came to visit her sick. She had nine only one was there, in the time of need, I love that lady, and always will.
Did she show any gratitude for you sticking around? Or apologize for how she mistreated you all while she was sick and dying?
I shop for some old people.
One lady moved to NC with her husband from New Orleans, and started a family.
-2/3 kids grew up and moved several states away.
-1/3 kids moved a few cities over. But he is ill.
-Her husband passed over a decade ago.
She’s “alone”. But she had her neighbors, some friends and ppl like me. (Her daughter came and put her in a facility)
Starting a family doesn’t guarantee you will have someone.
I feel like if u work in the medical field with old folks u understand tht comment, it’s truly sad when ppl have no family, nurses treat patients like shit and ppl end up dying faster due to trash care, after wht Ive seen in the nicest fanciest nursing homes, I’m avoiding nursing homes like a plague
People have family; their family ignores them. So having kids is no guarantee that you will be looked after in old age.
You’re a CNA? Register Nurses have a completely different perspective cause we have completely different obligations just like a physician. And the kids show up and don’t even help do anything in the hospital. A drink of water, doing there hair. Kids guarantees nothing.
I agree 💯! Facts ❤
I don’t blame you boo! I have 3!!!! These 2024 kids are different!!!! Enjoy solitude and peace mamas, I ain’t mad at you!!!!
😂 I love this though. I can relate. Nice to know there are more of us.
Yall funny bc ur kids and all them leave u anyway and have their own Ives so u end up alone if not they just want ur money n never visit
That's the funny part. I don't even live near my parents and haven't for years. I love them and have no qualms with them, but I have a life. I may see them once every year or every couple years. They act like their kids will never grow up to have their own life, family, or even move away. These people are delusional. I'm planning on moving out the country too, so to all the parents who think their kids will be glued to their hip and they won't ever be alone, think again 😂
That’s why it’s important to raise your kids in a certain way and not idolize money, by putting Jesus first. Allow God to be the top priority so I can raise my kids in a certain way. I’m very close to my mom and couldn’t imagine just leaving her and not making sure I take care of her or simply there for her if she needs me. And my mom does the same thing for her mother and her father when he was alive. It’s the way we were raised so it comes second nature. Matter of fact whoever God puts in my path to show love and give time to, I want to honor that. We have to soften our hearts and not be so selfish towards other people.
Not true i see it often dying alone n having kids n grandchildren at work
They kids donot cares
The kids care, but they also grow up to be adults with their own life. It's selfish to have kids with the sole expectation that they're here to make you happy, give you a purpose, and keep you from feeling lonely. Kids eventually grow up and have dreams and responsibilities of their own.
@chitlinjuice there is nothing wrong with caring for aging parents (especially if you were loved and cared for by them). It's not selfish to want to spend your last days with family. I say this as a CF person. We as humans should love and care for each other. I don't subscribe to the attitude of "f" them kids or "f" your parents (there are reasons to cut family off, i get that). Humans need to do better.
I have approx.10 Grown Godchildren w/ GG Children. I desired Kids..But God desired to make me "A Bridge" To get them to a Better Life. I read the comments ..and Yes, I hear the same...about how some children treat parents as they age. Met So Many Women who could not have Kids. I am still on my "Bridge Crossing Assignment" as given by God...and I am fine with it. ❤...Prayers 4 All.
The one thing you learn when you talk to old people is that you can never say never. People change and some things are irreversible, and regret can be forever.
Ask the nurses who is dying allone.
RIGHT!! We are already going through it. Living in this horrible world. Why bring innocent kids into the mix? 😳
Exactly 🙃
I'm a successful black male but my greatest success is my 2 children until you have children you will never understand disappointment or love. The love you have for your children compares to nothing in this world, trust me I have lived many lives drug dealer banger, special forces operator, electrician, pipefitter, project manager. Son of the Ceo of NRG. Would trade it all including my life for my children....thats love.
Good for you 😊. Telling someone they will never understand love until they have kids is dumb though. People have families, friends, loved ones, passions, hobbies, and countless other ways to feel love. YOU did not understand love until you had kids. That doesn’t mean everyone else is the same way.
All you did was ejaculate though. Can we stop making having sex an accomplishment and kids a trophy? Most people can have kids, it's literally something we are all biologically capable of. And stop telling people that they aren't capable of love bc they don't have children. There are plenty of parents that still aren't capable of love and traumatize their kids because of it. If you have the love of God, then you are capable of love. And BTW many parents only have love for their kids and immediate family and are self centered. Anybody else outside of that bubble is usually neglected and not considered so tell me what type of love is that? Limited love?
How come so many people neglect or abandon their kids, then?
Not the success story you think it is...
😂😂 I'm with u on this sis, everyone trying to make me have kids, hell I'm out here deciding on whether I should eat or put gas in my car , I think I'll pass on the kids
FYI, I have a taste of what happens when you're single and get old without kids bc I'm disabled, divorced, and no kids... and will NEVER remarry again after what I went through the 1st time around.
I volunteer. I talk to my friends and have them over. I'm involved in my church. I talk to my brothers and sister, neices and nephews daily. I host the holidays here at my house. I'm involved in many ministries. I read. I paint. I pray. I meditate. I take quiet naps. I hired a lovely caregiver/housekeeper.
(I'm turning 40 this yr but have been disabled and chronically ill for a minute now)
My older and/or disabled friends with kids only talk about how their kids don't call enough or come around enough.
I don't know too many women who take much joy or receive a lot of help from their adult children.
Yes life is hard but I'm thankful I have the life I have, and don't want anyone else's.
With that POV she should NOT have kids. It would be a disaster. For me, raising kids was the BEST PART! Wish I’d have had more
No shit. That's why she isn't having any kids. 😂
@@ChantaiPT😄
@@ChantaiPT😂 right in the kisserrrrr
A male making this statement is laughable when women handle the bulk of childcare🤡
@@user-qu2gp8mw9u Exactly! 😄
I say this all the time!! Don't put more on this earth to struggle. People don't like the fact that people don't want kids.
I applaud you. Many are secretly jealous because the deed has been done.
The person’s comment is ironic.😹 I haven’t seen my mom and dad for 10years. I barely talk to them. They live in the Caribbean and I live in Europe. If something happens, I guess my sister will be there. 🤷🏽♀️
My grandma has two sons now she has Alzheimer’s, both of her sons, which is my dad and Uncle takes very good care of her. And when my dad and uncle were living their own life, my grandmother had five granddaughters and one grandson, and she loved doing things with us. She has left us with some great memories and amazing knowledge to pass down to generations and generations.
I have NO kids! My sister has six! I watched them drive her crazy trying to take a break at my peaceful house!! Nobody gets to spend the night at my house, "keep the problems you created to yourself. "
Chile you'll be surrounded with a community of women that love you and will take good care of you until beyond 💚💜💚
I pray to God she keeps the same energy 15-20 years from now.
Pray hard🤪
It comes down to community. Society has gotten so individualized that people think the sole duty of caring for aging persons is the child’s responsibility alone. That is wrong. It takes a village.
My grandma’s neighbors check on each other regularly. She has friends. She has her church community. She has other organizations where bonds are formed and that’s what counts. So even as I am caught up in my life, can’t call her as much as I like, let alone visit, I know she is loved, nurtured and looked after. So kids are not “needed” for this.
That said, it is an honor to be able to care for my grandmother. But that is only because of the family values she instilled. Even in nature: there is a network if trees communication and sharing sustenance with one another. When an older tree begins to die, the younger trees gather their roots and collect around the tree so it’s not alone. Nature can do it. And I find that beautiful.
Not everyone was raised this way. Some people have trauma. Some ppl just don’t want that connection. And that’s ok.
It’s people who have several kids and still “died alone”. Just because you have children doesn’t mean that they’re going to stop their lives and look after you. These kids will throw you right in a nursing home! 😂
Dont take advice from misery. Children are a blessing from God.
Listen, I work as a caregiver. Having children doesn't mean you'll be taken care of in your old age, especially if you have nothing 😊
“Blessed is he who has his quiver filled with them” Ps. 127:5
Like having kids ensures they will take care of you in your old age 👀👀🙄. Keep doing you ma'am👍🏾
I see plenty of patients with children suffering alone. And most of them seem like nice people. So there are no guarantee your kids will be there.
I wouldn't trust my kids to watch a goldfish. I refuse to rely on them in my elder years😂😂😂
I feel kind of bad for people that have kids to try an fill a void
I hope they stop soon😭😂
@@TeraChantelle you & me both 🤦🏽♀️
True. I am a nurse who has seen misery. Kids not being at the nursing home even when parents were dying. About 99% of seniors in nursing homes die alone.
If a man or women don't want kids - let it be. Shouldn't offend anyone - you just live your life your way
Huntiiiii !!! Preach sis 🎉🎉👑
She really said sis too, lol
Having children doesn't mean they will automatically take care of you when you're older. There is no promise that they will even be alive, able or willing to take care of you when the time comes.We come into this existence by ourselves and we leave the same way.
I have an adult son. It wasnt easy even WITH 2 PARENTS! I don't understand why ppl child shame ppl that don't have children! If i had to start over, my son wouldn't be here. This world sucks right now and to bring a child now, ON PURPOSE, would make you a bad parent!
The #1 complaint of the dying, isn't making more money, or even not paying bills but rather they'd wish they had more and better relationships with friends and loved ones. It's literally the #1 dying wish. It's not about loneliness, it's about relationship, it's about LOVE. However i believe ppl should be allowed their own decisions without question and comment of judgment from others, so if that's what you want, do you boo