I believe in marriage before children because I need to know he is committed to me and the baby. My ex didn’t agree with me and that immediately let me know we are not meant for each other
I'm So glad Brandon said what he said, cause these people can come to another podcast if they wanted a different opinion. But people come to you all cause they like, and respect what they see. So how y'all do things and why needs to be shared with the world straight up, no chaser💜
Oh no the audio is only coming out of the left side for this video too. But the intro plays out of both sides so its the podcast audio that needs to be fixed
The blind analogy (i think) if my wife is blind, and i have perfect vision, i can't move at the speed of a person with 20/20. I have to slow down, and watch for the obstacles she can't see. I need to take the time to describe things to her so she can enjoy the beauty of life, and also, to be able to choose for herself what she wants out of those things she can't see. We're moving together through the good, the bad, the easy, the difficult.
Glen is right they have a different belief system. From what it sounds like they’re trying to base their decision based off of their family and not what they want for themselves and their family. Which premarital counseling/therapy would help them figure that out!! They don’t have to elope necessarily they can always just go to the court house. My husband and I (in our 30s) ended up finding a house before we intended to have a wedding… so we got married in our house with just our parents (April) and had a wedding after (September). But that was because of our belief system and we wanted to be married before we lived together. Baby coming June 2024 🫶🏼
SIMPLE. He doesn't want to be married. He does not see any value in it because his parents are still together and her's are divorce. Never force someone to jump into what you want. Find someone who wants what you want. Shared vision. And the belief system, is their parents and grand parents not there's. They are young . Shes 23 so they started dating as teens. She still has time !
I agree with Y about getting married in a low key way, having kids, then having a bigger wedding. That way, both receive a portion of what they desire. I believe the letter said the man doesn’t want to spend a lot on a wedding before they have kids because that’s his priority. The lady is saying she wants a wedding before the kids and wants it to be a big wedding. If they have a small wedding, it satisfies his need to not spend a bunch of money and her need to get married.
My daughter is turning 18 this year and she is my only child & im 35! Im looking forward to traveling and everything but honestly it was tough for many years but it was worth it…I wouldnt have chose it though! It kind of happened and i was 18yrs old
Chocolate baby story time:don’t know if other schools do this but it was required 6th-8th grade to do an instrument or choir See I was born into a marriage but they divorced when I was 2. My partners mom had failed relationships and a baby out of wedlock. He hasn’t had a marriage to look at in a positive way, but in my eyes I think it’s positive my parents got divorced😂and I will say my grandparents and aunts and uncles are all married, happy i dont know. But I know I will be married so that my kids do not have to be comfortable in brokenness like you said!!! Because I as a teenager loved the toxicity of relationships and I had to heal from that. I want my future kids to see what a real man, commitment, true love, authenticity, honesty, loyalty ALL OF ITTT. So that they don’t go for Lower standards 😊
It’s crazy to me, how people make having a baby a smaller thing then getting married. A baby is the bigger commitment! Marriage is the smaller commitment. You can end a marriage but you can’t undo a baby. The baby will tie you to this person for the rest of your existence. Stop putting all this pressure of having elaborate weddings.
My husband and I have been married 28 years, every young person/couple put 51:06-52:18 on repeat…the best advice EVER! I brought a child and MAJOR childhood trauma into this marriage and let me tell you it affects EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!
Your life changes so much when you have children. The life you had before will NEVER be the same! ESPECIALLY as a mother. Please take that into account & carefully choose your partner because you will have to deal with them in some shape or form for the rest of your life (of course people can change over the years but at least try to set yourself and kids up with someone who shows you they will be a positive addition to your life)
I don't think their age should have changed your thoughts on whether they should get married/have a child first. Go to therapy yes but going to therapy pre marriage and pre babies doesn't mean things won't come up that you have to work through in therapy.
I wish i could have kids young. Im nearly 40 un married and regret that I didn't pursue marriage partner earlier. There is zero biblical context for stalling marriage. Our culture loves to stall marriage endlessly, glorifying and hiding behind "go to therapy" or "just live your life" or "you're too young". Literally no other culture does this. Not one. Only black culture. The desire to have kids is a biblical one and pushing fear based advice to avoid it is strange. I agree just get married first. Christian or not, i dont get the stalling. And in fact noticing wayyy more Christians (all black) stalling marriage with Christian coloquisms like "find your purpose" or "let jesus be your husband" and "wait". God does not say ANY of this to justify stalling marriage. And we need to stop making children out to be burdensome for marriage. They are a blessing. Statements like one that were said are why kids nowadays need more and more counseling.
You need to talk to more people. This is not a black people thing. This is a global thing. On avg, young women are getting married 5-6 years later than they 20 yrs ago. 28-32 is avg now. That transcends race and ethnicity. People should be using their singleness for God, though. (Paul demonstrated this).
From a spiritual perspective I cannot co-sign the boyfriend’s position, because that is wild. There is no way I would have been voluntarily giving up my womb and creating life for a man who hadn’t promised to cover me until death do us part. Now I have 2 kids and 2 high risk pregnancies later, no way. But on the real. They got together extremely young and they have fundamental foundational beliefs that are not equal. When they started dating they were most likely not thinking this deeply and have been together for years and have just decided that this is it for me. They need to level with each other and be honest and think about a LIFE together. But the sex and all of that is definitely blinding.
They are not in alignment and it will cause destruction later. Years of a relationship isn't equivalent in having the same vision. Being a single Mom is not a easy road. Please think before you leap! Sis, don't compromise your core values.
If it's important to her and he's like, why does it matter, then why not do it her way since it's important her. This is the age to have kids, get it done while you're young enough to do things with them.
A belief system that is counter to the Biblical standard is a wrong belief system. Just because it “works” doesn’t mean it’s not sin. All fornication is sin. Just because your parents aren’t married but “happy” doesn’t mean its working. God’s version of successful and the world’s are opposed. The wisdom of the world is foolishness to God. If a non-Christian comes to me for advice I’m giving them true biblical advice. Just because their standard is different doesn’t mean I change what I say. Change your standard. Children need to know that the two most important role models they will ever have can make a lifelong commitment to each other and stick with it. Security and peace of mind cant be bought. It changes the way that child interacts with the world and themselves. I’m not saying everyone should get married EVEN if you have a child out of wedlock together HOWEVER the most optimal option for anyone trying to have a child with someone is that in at very least you can commit to them long term. Marriage, then children. Simple.
Without even hearing the podcast.. I think a lot of women know that they are not suitable to be a wife so they are comfortable accepting baby mother status rather than be childless.
It might be the exact opposite some women know being with a man comes with alot of problems headaches and betrayal and rather just enjoy motherhood than get the heartache with it.
@@marketiadavis9040 single motherhood generally has the worst outcomes for children. Being a single mother in itself comes with a lot of heartache and problems. I wouldn't classify it as being a better alternative to a having a child within the context of a healthy relationship. But back to my original point alot of women do not believe they qualify for or have the ability to maintain a healthy relationship.
Ma’am…he sounds like he doesn’t want what you want. What are your parents saying about this? They know you better. But objectively, it sounds as if you all have different priorities.
One main issue this couple has is that, she's Christian and he's Catholic. Those religious are polar opposites. How they view life is impacted by their beliefs. They're not even engaged based on what she says. It's hard to not inject spirituality into this conversation because marriage was ordained by God. The question is, what does God say about this siy? Did they even pray to make sure God even wants them together?
The writter being 23 years old concerns me because she is still young and i would hate for her to conform to her boyfriends beleifs about children before marriage and then regret it later on once she is more secure in herself and who she is as a person. I would say just get married first since that important to her and to him it doesnt matter. If he decides he dont want to do that, then he dont want to be married at all sis and you should consider moving on
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In my opinion, I feel being married before the children is giving the children a special gift.
I agrreeeeee
I believe in marriage before children because I need to know he is committed to me and the baby. My ex didn’t agree with me and that immediately let me know we are not meant for each other
I'm So glad Brandon said what he said, cause these people can come to another podcast if they wanted a different opinion. But people come to you all cause they like, and respect what they see. So how y'all do things and why needs to be shared with the world straight up, no chaser💜
Preach!
Oh no the audio is only coming out of the left side for this video too. But the intro plays out of both sides so its the podcast audio that needs to be fixed
Oh thank you for this comment. I thought I needed new headphones when I was watching the last video lol
Your speakers/headphones are probably in mono instead of stereo. That's why you're hearing it one-sided.
Yvette & ‘ Henry But Watching For 4 Years Is Definitely Crazy 🤣🤣🤣🤣
The blind analogy (i think) if my wife is blind, and i have perfect vision, i can't move at the speed of a person with 20/20. I have to slow down, and watch for the obstacles she can't see. I need to take the time to describe things to her so she can enjoy the beauty of life, and also, to be able to choose for herself what she wants out of those things she can't see.
We're moving together through the good, the bad, the easy, the difficult.
Glen is right they have a different belief system.
From what it sounds like they’re trying to base their decision based off of their family and not what they want for themselves and their family. Which premarital counseling/therapy would help them figure that out!!
They don’t have to elope necessarily they can always just go to the court house.
My husband and I (in our 30s) ended up finding a house before we intended to have a wedding… so we got married in our house with just our parents (April) and had a wedding after (September). But that was because of our belief system and we wanted to be married before we lived together. Baby coming June 2024 🫶🏼
understandable
SIMPLE. He doesn't want to be married. He does not see any value in it because his parents are still together and her's are divorce. Never force someone to jump into what you want. Find someone who wants what you want. Shared vision. And the belief system, is their parents and grand parents not there's. They are young . Shes 23 so they started dating as teens. She still has time !
but the butch had a baby ! 😂
I agree with Y about getting married in a low key way, having kids, then having a bigger wedding. That way, both receive a portion of what they desire. I believe the letter said the man doesn’t want to spend a lot on a wedding before they have kids because that’s his priority. The lady is saying she wants a wedding before the kids and wants it to be a big wedding. If they have a small wedding, it satisfies his need to not spend a bunch of money and her need to get married.
I agree this is the type of compromise that if they can agree on shows promise for their union.
This seems like a good compromise. I was thinking she’s about to give a lot to have this baby, but what is he going to give?
I love y'all groundedness and not being judgement. That's why I keep coming back to y'all episodes
My daughter is turning 18 this year and she is my only child & im 35! Im looking forward to traveling and everything but honestly it was tough for many years but it was worth it…I wouldnt have chose it though! It kind of happened and i was 18yrs old
Thanks, Evett, for picking up the dropped ball at the end.😊
Chocolate baby story time:don’t know if other schools do this but it was required 6th-8th grade to do an instrument or choir
See I was born into a marriage but they divorced when I was 2. My partners mom had failed relationships and a baby out of wedlock.
He hasn’t had a marriage to look at in a positive way, but in my eyes I think it’s positive my parents got divorced😂and I will say my grandparents and aunts and uncles are all married, happy i dont know. But I know I will be married so that my kids do not have to be comfortable in brokenness like you said!!! Because I as a teenager loved the toxicity of relationships and I had to heal from that. I want my future kids to see what a real man, commitment, true love, authenticity, honesty, loyalty ALL OF ITTT. So that they don’t go for Lower standards 😊
It’s crazy to me, how people make having a baby a smaller thing then getting married. A baby is the bigger commitment! Marriage is the smaller commitment. You can end a marriage but you can’t undo a baby. The baby will tie you to this person for the rest of your existence.
Stop putting all this pressure of having elaborate weddings.
Perfectly said
This conversation was a big eye opener. Thank you.
My husband and I have been married 28 years, every young person/couple put 51:06-52:18 on repeat…the best advice EVER! I brought a child and MAJOR childhood trauma into this marriage and let me tell you it affects EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!
11:18 yooohhh I belly laughed hard!😂 thanks for being the authentic teachers/entertainers you are!
Checking in from the DMV.
Talk yo talk Yvette!
Your life changes so much when you have children. The life you had before will NEVER be the same! ESPECIALLY as a mother. Please take that into account & carefully choose your partner because you will have to deal with them in some shape or form for the rest of your life (of course people can change over the years but at least try to set yourself and kids up with someone who shows you they will be a positive addition to your life)
I don't think their age should have changed your thoughts on whether they should get married/have a child first. Go to therapy yes but going to therapy pre marriage and pre babies doesn't mean things won't come up that you have to work through in therapy.
Listen, Beleaf broke things down so well!
Any headphone listeners having balance issues?
The volume did get low all of a sudden
Yes - the sound is coming out of my left headphone only
yes- only left bud is playing
Love the LIVE.😂
Hmm, can't locate the link for retreat info.😊
I agree with adobe given y’all give towards the end… wait, go to therapy and just live cause your still young
I wish i could have kids young. Im nearly 40 un married and regret that I didn't pursue marriage partner earlier. There is zero biblical context for stalling marriage. Our culture loves to stall marriage endlessly, glorifying and hiding behind "go to therapy" or "just live your life" or "you're too young". Literally no other culture does this. Not one. Only black culture.
The desire to have kids is a biblical one and pushing fear based advice to avoid it is strange. I agree just get married first. Christian or not, i dont get the stalling. And in fact noticing wayyy more Christians (all black) stalling marriage with Christian coloquisms like "find your purpose" or "let jesus be your husband" and "wait". God does not say ANY of this to justify stalling marriage. And we need to stop making children out to be burdensome for marriage. They are a blessing. Statements like one that were said are why kids nowadays need more and more counseling.
You need to talk to more people. This is not a black people thing. This is a global thing. On avg, young women are getting married 5-6 years later than they 20 yrs ago. 28-32 is avg now. That transcends race and ethnicity. People should be using their singleness for God, though. (Paul demonstrated this).
no they not marry before u carry ! we dont need no more degenerates idagf how nice u are as a person
Sound issues? Last episode too, it sounds too low and the sound is shifting.
From a spiritual perspective I cannot co-sign the boyfriend’s position, because that is wild. There is no way I would have been voluntarily giving up my womb and creating life for a man who hadn’t promised to cover me until death do us part. Now I have 2 kids and 2 high risk pregnancies later, no way.
But on the real. They got together extremely young and they have fundamental foundational beliefs that are not equal. When they started dating they were most likely not thinking this deeply and have been together for years and have just decided that this is it for me. They need to level with each other and be honest and think about a LIFE together. But the sex and all of that is definitely blinding.
They are not in alignment and it will cause destruction later. Years of a relationship isn't equivalent in having the same vision. Being a single Mom is not a easy road. Please think before you leap! Sis, don't compromise your core values.
If it's important to her and he's like, why does it matter, then why not do it her way since it's important her. This is the age to have kids, get it done while you're young enough to do things with them.
A belief system that is counter to the Biblical standard is a wrong belief system. Just because it “works” doesn’t mean it’s not sin. All fornication is sin. Just because your parents aren’t married but “happy” doesn’t mean its working. God’s version of successful and the world’s are opposed. The wisdom of the world is foolishness to God. If a non-Christian comes to me for advice I’m giving them true biblical advice. Just because their standard is different doesn’t mean I change what I say. Change your standard. Children need to know that the two most important role models they will ever have can make a lifelong commitment to each other and stick with it. Security and peace of mind cant be bought. It changes the way that child interacts with the world and themselves. I’m not saying everyone should get married EVEN if you have a child out of wedlock together HOWEVER the most optimal option for anyone trying to have a child with someone is that in at very least you can commit to them long term. Marriage, then children. Simple.
18:29 Glenn is she (Lily) anxious by nature ?! My golden doodle has anxiety too, I heard it’s a breed thing. it makes owning them a little hard imo 😫
It would be easier after for sure!!
Longest letter in history! Sheesh
😂😂😂
Without even hearing the podcast.. I think a lot of women know that they are not suitable to be a wife so they are comfortable accepting baby mother status rather than be childless.
lol and this is why you should listen to the podcast.
It might be the exact opposite some women know being with a man comes with alot of problems headaches and betrayal and rather just enjoy motherhood than get the heartache with it.
And I haven't listened yet either lol
@@marketiadavis9040 single motherhood generally has the worst outcomes for children. Being a single mother in itself comes with a lot of heartache and problems. I wouldn't classify it as being a better alternative to a having a child within the context of a healthy relationship. But back to my original point alot of women do not believe they qualify for or have the ability to maintain a healthy relationship.
@@Richard-Reloadedare you, a man, telling women how women feel? Very smart. 💀💀💀
Ma’am…he sounds like he doesn’t want what you want. What are your parents saying about this? They know you better. But objectively, it sounds as if you all have different priorities.
💀💀💀💀💀
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
One main issue this couple has is that, she's Christian and he's Catholic. Those religious are polar opposites. How they view life is impacted by their beliefs. They're not even engaged based on what she says. It's hard to not inject spirituality into this conversation because marriage was ordained by God. The question is, what does God say about this siy? Did they even pray to make sure God even wants them together?
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Baby girl you've been listening for years and still haven't got that being married first is their stance? He doesn't want to marry you.
The writter being 23 years old concerns me because she is still young and i would hate for her to conform to her boyfriends beleifs about children before marriage and then regret it later on once she is more secure in herself and who she is as a person. I would say just get married first since that important to her and to him it doesnt matter. If he decides he dont want to do that, then he dont want to be married at all sis and you should consider moving on
scratch dat nowww they want to "co-parent" 💀💀💀💀🤡