This Podcast Got Us Heated At Each Other
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- Show Notes:
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I’m surprised that no one in the comments could see that Glen felt hurt by not feeling appreciated by Yvette. And maybe he takes it even more personally, since it was hard to do because it doesn’t come naturally. They both had valid feelings and both deserve to be heard.
Yvette is absolutely correct about the love languages. We have to understand the concept of sacrificial giving in order to fulfill your partners love language because ultimately it's not about you but them. It's not about being forced to give to your partner but being willing to move self out of the way in order to give and receive from each other.
this reminds me of the time they took Anaya to the theme park and she was unhappy with how Glen showed up and he said well next time just go with your mom. I remember thinking be careful with that because you don’t want her to get used to the man she loves dismissing her desires to be cared for in a certain way…but i assumed it was just a one off.
Based on this conversation, maybe it’s not?
Glen seems to view someone communicating they needsomething a little different than what he’s offering as a personal rejection..and he shouldn’t
I hope realizes it’s actually not about him at all ❤️
Our love languages change during different seasons. We actually need all of them. When we know our partner has a need, we should try to meet them at that need. Well, as long as it’s not harmful.
this makes a lot of sense! "we actually need all of them" 🤎
I really admire Yvette’s patience with her husband. Conversations like these are never easy. Glen you are truly blessed to have such a kind hearted, patient and understanding spouse.
All these comments be sticking up for Yvette, but it really takes two! I commend both of them for this conversation because you could tell it was hard for both of them
Truesee
I know what Yvette is saying. I agree with her. The point is to try to give your partner what they need the best you can.
Exactly
Refusing to speak your partner's love language is simply selfish.
It's also the cheat code. Like why wouldn't you take the easy route and communicate love in the way that they need it to be communicated.
I’m sooo bewildered how people can’t see how much Glen loves his wife! This man makes himself vulnerable and dedicates his life to provide for his wife and kids. Could he do better to affirm her sure! But he’s a good man that will do whatever it takes to show up for his family
I don't think this audience questions Glen's love for Yvette. In the beginning he didn't really want to do this podcast. He did it because Yvette wanted to do it. He sacrificed alot to do this podcast with her. I think it's good to see them work through their differences in a way that's mature and effective. But I think ppl question his willingness to speak her love language. But his love for her has been evident
I appreciate how you guys went off camera right away to complete a discussion instead of waiting. The Podcast is helping you guys too. May God keep you.
I really liked the way Yvette stood up for herself and her opinion this time around! She was really making some great points and I honestly agree with her…
Of course not that I think Glenn is trying to put her down lol! He’s usually the one encouraging to her speak on her thoughts more. So much growth here!!
You guys deserve a hug 🫂. This conversation was ROUGH. I commend you both for sticking through it and sharing it with us...your vulnerability is appreciated ❤. It reminds us of our humanity and gives us examples of how to persevere in our committed relationships.
I love Yvette. At first, it seemed as if he was not really seeking to understand, but more so to win. I appreciate Yvette's patience in explaining versus being combative in that moment.❤
Oops
Omg... Yvette! The gas tank example was soooo good. The fact that Glen still didn't understand after that example says a lot about his ability/inability to really listen. It's like he's listening but only to try to rebuttal. Smh
This love language conversation 😅…to show your partner that you care you have to make adjustments to speak their language. It’s uncomfortable, YES, but necessary.
I waited a few days to watch this episode. I had a feeling it would trigger me. I've been divorced for 8 years and this entire conversation took me waaay back. We argued, we laughed at each other to mask our discomfort, we went to therapy, we went to church but in the end, we were so traumatized by our own childhood experiences that we could only see each other through the eyes of a victim. I HATE that we had to divorce and put our 3 children through so much. Years later I know for sure that I could only deal with the tension that came with my marriage on the level that I was emotionally mature enough to handle. And because of my backstory I was not emotionally mature enough to be married at that time. I am 56 now and I can see so clearly where we were both so wounded and so codependent on each other. I'm praying for wisdom, and the humility to hear what only the Holy Spirit can tell you, even if he uses other people to do it. I sure wish that I would have listened to the wisdom of other mature couples rather than get offended and in my feelings way back then.
This was insightful to read and appreciate you sharing. Can you talk more about what "seeing each other through the eyes of a victim" looks like in action?
I apologize I'm only seeing your question now. Seeing each other through the eyes of a victim looks like acting out of trauma wounds from rejection or any type of physical or verbal abuse. In other words if your partner says something to you that is meant to bring attention to something that they're not comfortable with or that they do not like a traumatized person does not hear constructive criticism. A traumatized person hears criticism only and feels abused by the comment. Therefore you do not develop emotional intelligence and cannot have a civil or mature conversation about your needs and your wants in your relationship without listening as a wounded person.
41:10 "I'm also not going to live and die off of your approval."
😢 OUCH 😢
I can tell this is uncomfortable but I admire you both for not swerving the tension it's inspirational 🤎
I know this is late, however I just rewatched this episode and heard Glenn say if I tell you to do something or not do something and you do not or do them, you deliberately ignore my desires. Glenn, I feel like you make Yvette's point for her. You want it met on your terms, but state basically she shouldnt expect you to meet hers. Listen to yourself please. Really bruh!
@@maryholloway5511 this is a matter of perspective and this is only a snap shot of their lives
I hate the way he brought up her period that shit is childish. People’s emotions fluctuate all the time for all kinds of reasons! Men’s emotions fluctuate too! People are allowed to be emotional, it’s not a crime. And being emotional or sensitive and being irrational/not making sense aren’t the same thing.
I’m ngl even as a single guy myself I’m with Yvette. Affirmations is in my top 2. Idc if you buy me the world (gifts) or take everything off my plate (acts of service). If I’m not being loved the way I receive it we’re not gonna work. So if I love you I want to put effort forward to show you love the way you feel it even if it’s not natural for me
Never one to comment on public platforms but I just want to express my genuine gratitude for this channel. I can empathise with both of you. I can understand the frustration of desiring to be affirmed with words but having a partner who cannot quite hit that sweet spot of my desire (it seems like such an easy need to meet and at what point is a partner who debates my need for this desire just willfully understating the need????? I get how it can come across as though that partner is not making concerted efforts to love me well when they react to this desire how Glen does). But, I also empathise with Glen feeling frustrated about Yvette saying he doesn't meet her affirmation desires considering she sometimes is not very receptive when Glen does it (I also may or may not have shed a tear when Glen started choking up when he was talking about this very issue 😭😂 I'm such a cry baby 😂 Love you Glen). I understand Glen's defensiveness too because he genuinely appears to want to be the best for Yvette and his family and when such deficiencies are made clear on his part, the chokehold of patriarchal masculinity firms its grip and just makes a mess of the whole situation. At the end of the day, Glen adores Yvette and it's clear that him not being the greatest at affirming is probably for reasons that need unpacking and not because of willful disregard.
All my parasocial love to both of you, I genuinely am so grateful for the honour of gleaning from both of you on a weekly basis, what manner of love from God. Y'all da best fr fr 💓💗🦋🪐❣️💝💕❤️💖💘💞
Beautifully said and spot on!!!
I appreciate your thought process on this. I feel like sometimes Glen mode of response can be extremely triggering. So I appreciate your ability to see and articulate both sides.
Brother just wanted to say that it looks like you misunderstood your wife. For me it’s better when I do the things I know my wife likes. I do it even when I’m not feeling it. But that’s just me. But I love you guys and I believe your going to work it out. It’s okay if we disagree ❤
“You usually want things (love languages) you can’t have…” BRO!! Another episode of Glenn trying to out talk Yvette. But finally Yvette is able to articulate herself and push back. 🙌🏽
I don't think he's trying to out talk her. She just takes her time to get her thoughts together and then provide her thoughts. he doesn't cut her off to just get to his point. He's just more direct and assertive with his points and she takes her time with her response and thoughts. which neither is bad.
I don't think that was what he was saying at all.
He said "you usually want the things you're not getting" which is a totally different vibe altogether.
I don’t think you understand where he was coming from. I could tell he felt like he dropped the ball as a partner when she said that. We like to think people will take a comment/conversation the way we intended it to be heard but trauma can make a person hear something totally different.
At the end he finally said how he was feeling and said I don’t think I’m doing a bad job. That’s what he heard the whole time that’s why the conversation wasn’t going over well because he felt attacked
Sorry big dog. I’m team Yvette this episode. 😂
C’mon man, you not good with words? You a rapper. Stop the 🧢
Whoa!! Don’t get me wrong, I love Glenn and his family; but I literally just said out loud: “wait a minute … he’s a wordsmith, for crying out loud! He’s artfully gifted in the area of words as a lyricist! Is he really going to sit here and say he can’t creatively come up with words to lift up and affirm his wife?” I’m not buying it. Sorry. There’s more to it than it just not being his thing. Then I remembered when Glenn was saying he gives her compliments sometimes and she doesn’t really receive them… so that seems like the very thing she’s asking for, she rejects when she’s not “feeling it”- which is odd and confusing???
This convo definitely pointed to voids in their “love tank” towards one another. I pray God helps them see it, and fills them in those voids… SOO love this family🤍
I’ve occasionally watched you guys for the past 2 years. It has always been difficult to watch because Glen’s personality sometimes triggered me. I felt he was a bit emotionally hard on Yvette. A few days days ago, i watched one of your episodes, ‘Rekindling the spark’ and i finally realized, Glen loves Yvette. Yes, you have a strong personality but you are safe. You will go through the hard stuff with the aim to resolve issues not sweep it under the rug. And you always have your wife’s interest at heart. You are a solid man Glen ❤.
If I love someone, I’m going to try to show love in a way they will receive it-not MAKE them receive how I want to show them love.
MAKE Glen receive a birthday party just because you want to show him love that way 🥴
Idk, it’s also good to recognize when someone is showing you live through a gesture even if it doesn’t mean much to you. I may not care about the party but I can appreciate someone put the effort into that
@@whenyouwishuponastar6643 Oh, of course. I agree. Acknowledge them showing care and love however it comes. That’s important. It is limited to think it’s even possible to ONLY show love through a handful of love languages.
However, it is weird to tell someone that you’re not going to try or that they are lying about what they say they enjoy.
If I love physical touch, it’s going to mean so much when they give me a hug or hold my hand randomly. It’s not too much to ask…
@@Yentirb68 that’s a good point. It shouldn’t be too much to ask for the person you love.
Yvette I really love your explanation of where you are coming from and how it relates to love languages. I believe you were spot on in your thought process in this episode. I love seeing your growth in standing in your truth where as in other episodes if husband didn't understand you would get quiet.
If Yvette brings up issues every time nearing her menstrual period, those are her actual true feelings. It’s like saying something when you are drunk, that means deep down that’s how you feel. Same scenario with us women, hormones bring out our true feelings, so Yvette’s right now her deep thoughts.
I don't know, I feel a whole lot better about life when mine is done 😂
Me too lol
I appreciate this conversation. I totally relate to Yvette. My ex only put up boundaries and told me the ways he felt unloved. Never the ways he felt loved. It drove me mad. And I understand Yvette when she tells you the way she wants to be loved and how that should be prioritized, I wish the way I wanted to be loved mattered more
Same when all people can tell me is what they don’t want, it gives me “just leave me alone” vibes 🙃
I greatly appreciate you guys for these layered conversations that you could easily keep to yourselves. It takes A LOT of courage.
Don’t celebrate me or do things that I don’t like, however if I don’t put my best effort in for you don’t get upset.
Glen gaslights Yvette
OMG I watched this video yesterday, while watching a whole other video today I came across a revelation from something y’all said and had to come back over here!🤣 Glenn just a friendly suggestion…. There’s a thing (not sure what it’s called) where our subconscious mostly recognizes commands. I’m saying this because your argument was you tell Yvette what NOT to do for you to feel loved when, whole time, her subconscious only heard the command and disregards the DON’T (because that’s how our brains work), hence the reason the very thing you don’t want done comes to fruition almost EVERY time! I implore you to give telling her what you DO want her to do a try vs telling her what you DON’T want her to do and see if you get some proper results 😉
This is accurate and how I operate. Sheesh. Work to be done.
I get so many ideas for coping strategies watching Yvette on this podcast! I truly love y’all because I’m gonna start touching my boyfriend and smiling/laughing when I start getting upset 😂 it looks like it works too! Lol
Oh my God! Not the period calendar.
Dang.
I'm sorry Glen, it sounds like your out right choosing to be defiant and expecting her to just accept how you want to show her how you love her while disregarding the exact things that she's telling you.
Keep up the good work guys... this was a tough one!
She's got a good point
You know your wife's love language. You know she wants and needs words of affirmation from you. Nothing you do for Mother's Day is what she's stated as her needs/wants. Why?? Why not just do what you know will make her happy?
I really don't understand.
He wants to know what she wants. She tells him.
He ignores it then tries to make her think she shouldn't be hurt by that? Nope
I applaud Yvette and Glen Henry for their candour and vulnerability. This can’t be easy. Love is hard. As individuals we must do the work of being as truthful and honest about our behaviour towards others. Be fully conscious and intentional about our use of words and behaviour. For every interaction breeds a reaction. We have no control over how others may perceive our viewpoint. However, it is important to fully understand how our words and behaviour make others feel. People may not remember every word said but they will always remember how you made them feel. TRUST is EVERYTHING. I wish the Henry’s continued growth, wisdom and faith. 🙏🏽
I love you guys, and this was a very good conversation. I agree with Glen in that even though you might know what someone's love language is, you might not be able to do it, or if you do it wrong because it's not your love language, the other person will be disappointed. So kind of damned if you do, damned if you don't. I struggled with this with my husband and it took a separation and some marriage counseling to make me see that. I still like to receive the love language that I want, but I'm ok if I don't because I see all the other ways he shows me he loves me . And when he does try to express it in my love language, I give him the grace he deserves. And vice versa
But he is able to tell her why he loves her and why he appreciates her, he just didn't. And you don't get the gift of feelings wrong so how is this damned-if-you-do/don't ?
Ughhh I love this podcast but the end was a little cringe Glen. It felt a little like you were gaslighting her because she was 1-2 weeks away from her cycle, seemed alittle immature.
The way I sing along to the intro is crazy 😂😂😂
Wow this one was really raw and the tension was sat in at times. Time under tension builds muscle so good for y'all. Also, Yvette did a great job expressing her point of view clearly. I appreciate the conversation about love languages and if someone should give love to someone in the language they receive.
From watching this pod you both articulate your specific desires differently but they are not both being received from the other. Serving someone on a way that you feel is best but not how they need to be served is a bit selfish. We are all different and our cup need to be poured in but wth different solutions.
Listen!!!! I died at Yvette calling Glen bro!!!! I'm also sooooooo Yvette!!!! I'm definitely a check box girl and I try to love my husband with my love languages.... The do nots are more prevalent in my mind than the dos! This will be replayed again!!! Love y'all transparency!!!
Whole mini conversations are being had with their eyes and body language. It is so authentic!! Shout out to the marriage for that level of intimacy
I’m so glad y’all are back! These talks are good and necessary!
Great dialogue as always. Thank you for always pushing through and demonstrating what honest, difficult and loving conversations look like. I really appreciate the vulnerability.
Idk why Yvette didn’t know anyone would prefer cooked food over uncooked food 😂
I am with Yvette on this one lol. Praying much resolve for you two! I appreciate the vulnerability here!
I’m ngl… love you Glen but at times it feels like you can gaslight Yvette a little. I get what she was trying to say about your partner learning your love language and adjusting to show you love in that way. I also lovingly will say sometimes you can come off unnecessarily combative
Gaslighting or just dismissive of her feelings? 🤷🏽♀️
I agree. I totally get where Yvette is coming from. The whole gas tank analogy was a perfect way to explain.
It’s probably just a season. He said that he felt unheard about a lot of things.
She definitely does the same to him in other episodes so we may be reading them wrong. I commented on a different video that i felt she did this to Glen and i was super uncomfortable with how she mocked and dismissed his feelings
All couples who are growing and are trying to communicate will experience this at some point. They both do a great job of trying to understand one another. The learning season is Real.
It took forever but I think Glenn was saying you can know a persons love language but not apply it correctly so it goes unappreciated. He lost me when he said “ shouldn’t trying be enough?”. There’s nothing wrong with expecting more in the future while appreciating the present.
I am in love with this couple and their children! I pray only for success and prosperity in all things. Let's focus on the resolution; common ground. The way Glen can be encouraged to meet the need (fill the tank) is by receiving positive reinforcement when he is being complimentary and loving (will serve as a guide). I think this is a good base to build on. Then Glen should understand and acknowledge this is a must-have for any successful relationship. No one is perfect, we can only strive for perfectionism by growing and evolving every day that's what makes us human. With love and kisses to the best podcast out there!
I absolutely love y’all and appreciate you both for always keeping it real! These transparent conversations allow us to see ourselves and the ways we’re thriving and also the areas where we need to improve.
Great job❤❤
Around 44:00 its the difference between knowing you are loved vs feeling loved.....I think thats what Im hearing Yvette speak to.
I swear being in a relationship is like being privy to a recipe, totally shitting on certain ingredients and techniques but, loving that recipe, it is the fave. And when those “offensive “ ingredients and unnecessary steps are removed, the eater’s grossed out and knows something is missing. It is frustrating when a loved one likes words of affirmation as their love language but they aren’t well versed in many words of affirmation. I hope that when relating and loving I learn to love and receive &recognize love in various ways. I wish the same for all of us
I honestly loved this episode. I always appreciate how well you two communicate through tough feelings.
Yvette, I admire how you take your time to try (often in different ways too) to understand Glenn and don't back down when things aren't quite adding up and getting uncomfortable.
Glenn, I admire how you also slow down and try to articulate yourself more accurately (dispassionately as well, which isn't easy) rather than shying away from the discomfort.
Amazing lessons in every one of these! Stay blessed and looking forward to continuing catching up on these episodes 😁 love you both and may God continue to bless your marriage and family 🙏🏼
The love between you two is deep😊
I appreciate Glen sharing.
I could tell this was a much needed conversation… love languages change as we grow and experience different phases/seasons of life. Highlighting effort a spouse puts forth to meet the other’s need is so vital as it can encourage change.
Thanks for displaying transparency and muscling through the difficult parts. It gave me lots of insight.
I love you guys. I think it’s so brave to put yourselves out there like this. I hope that you’re able to look back on this and see what good you are doing for the community. Thank you both.
Sometimes Glenn be posing me off with the technicalities cuz my husband is the same way 😂😂😂
Nah Beleaf...You can't speak your own love language to someone and expect it to hit the same way as their personal love language would...that's how you end up in the you're selfish/you don't love me arguments...Give instructions to each other on how to speak your respective love languages in a way that can be recieved by the intended then you're winning at relationship. Peace & Light...
Yvette makes a great point about love languages!
We are kinda crazy when our periods are approaching 😂❤😂.
I feel for you Glen.
Lol true!
LISTEN!!! I have to check myself every time I get in my feelings about something that is/is not happening in my relationship. 9/10 times, it's 'bout that time...🤦🏿♀️
50:18 The laugh I belted out at Glen’s face!!!!! 😂😂😂😂 I’ve been riding with Yvette this whole time…but that part made me HOLLER!!!!! “Food cooked or uncooked?” 💀💀💀💀💀
I love your transparency. You two express real, candid emotions and speak from your heart.
Idk if it’s just me, but I feel like the gaslighting goes both ways. I feel like the sexual issue is a really big deal for Glenn, and it’s not JUST about ‘sex,’ but about knowing that his wife wants to be intimate with him, and sex is a really big part of that for married couples. He wants to know that she is sexually attracted to him, not just that she loves him in other ways. ❤
Glen is really saying some stuff in the podcast, thank you! The comment of trying someone's love language but experiencing resistance it's hard
Yvette, I love the diesel car metaphor. And I love that you realize that your spouse can't always fill that tank. Hmph! My husband doesn't like his birthday celebrated either.🎉
Marriage and relationships are like a give and take. Every day. All the time. You have to know your partner's love language and show them love the ways they receive it and also, they have to accept it the way you give it. Not always one way. It's complex in it's simplicity
Theres a quote that says “You cant ask the wrong things to the right person”…
Dang, this episode is good.....Im glad yall made it personal about what yall are going through. Thanks
Marriage be hard. And God is good.
At the end of the day we need to address the fact why is this lady dating a person who emotionally unavailable. This is the problem with people in general, seeing the red flags & not doing anything about it & wonder why you find yourself writing to a podcast about a man you clearly see is emotionally unavailable.
You can’t expect a person to change their ways for you, especially when the signs were there to begin with. You get what you give & you receive what you settle for. I won’t feel bad for this lady if he one day ends up leaving her & then giving his emotions to the next woman in his life.
If this man is aware of the thing’s you are complaining about, & they don’t actively show any changes in trying to make the relationship better, then why are you still fighting for something that is 1 sided. Stuff like this grinds my gears with humans bro.
This is the exact reason people end up hurt & then hurting other’s that didn’t cause the hurt to begin with. People are simply hard headed, & wanna keep thinking someday they’ll change & keeping hope alive in the sh’t that isn’t progressing anyways.
Y’all be sitting around wasting all your years on people that choose to half love you, then wanna cry about it when they end up doing thing’s that later bite you in the behind. I can’t feel sorry for anyone like that. Accountability needs to be taken point blank period.
Life is too precious to be out here dealing with people that “Half Love” you after you’ve made it aware to them that this is something you don’t like that they do. It shows the inner work that you need to do for yourself in asking “Why” do you continue to stay in something like this where your not being served in ways you desire to be.
There are younger couples that are doing it better than most of these older folks & then you catch yourself living through young couples. I see it all the time, and people love to try to act like they can’t be taught anything because of all these titles or their age. Times have changed, and “Titles” & “Age” doesn’t qualify you or exempt you from giving & receiving advice.
People need to understand that love langue’s come in all forms. Listening to your partner in hearing them on the thing’s they desire is just as important when it’s people like Glen that doesn’t want certain thing’s to be done like throwing a birthday party.
Stop giving detrimental advice that’s going to result in the same outcome in which you lived through already. People need to stop beating around the bush. It shouldn’t take all this to get to the point of telling your man that you want him to say “I love you” y’all be doing the most. Learn to be honest & stop with the theatric politics. 🥷
This is projection
As a man in his 30's I can see the real conversation at the table and it reminds me of similar conversations/roles that ive played apart of. Im a firm believer of not saying I "love" something so casually because it numbs the meaning when i go to say it to my partner. Words have weight, value, and can cause deep problems when the other person doesn't understand that kind of frequency. At the end of it all, context is key, and both parties should always be in synch in order to stay together in harmony.
Another great episode! Very insightful...🤔
This is a good analogy she's making
I'm in agreement w/ Yvette.
Thanks!
Well done for spotting that calendar issue Glen 😂... It means you know your wife well. And in my opinion, that is love personified ❤
Bless you guys 😊
Loved this conversation!! 👏🏼🥰
"...and I don't like being deployed." My gawd! That was such a good statement. My family is going to hear that statement going forward. "Don't deploy me. I'm not available for active duty at this time."
This is very relatable as a man
52:52 "why you checking the date?" Im cryinnnnng 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Glen is being rude now, c'mon chief
A lot of food for thought, making me think...
Hello. Love you both. Yvette great analogy of the “fuel “ required for the person..
I can see ya'lls growth.
I'm with both of yall. But when he checked his watch! I was like... yeah that's true😢😂😂😂
Things started adding up 😂😂😂 it's crazy that i could relate to Yvette.
@@Akampwera_p man I felt called out 🤣
I read a book and it said something like this: you can't put water in your car and expect it run; it needs gaz, not just any type of liquid. I thought it was a great analogy
This was interesting to listen to (I'm typically a podcast listener)! I feel like I was watching one of my marriage conversations. But being an outside viewer allowed me to see what both sides were bringing to the table even though I may have agreed more with one of yall. Thank you for showing the raw thoughts and process. I think this was a very healthy demonstration of conversing even though you may not agree. I got aspects of both, I learned from both, and I send love and prayers to you both 💜
I love y'all so much! Thank you so much for your wisdom and vulnerability. But Yvette, it is important for us ladies to pay close attention to our menstrual cycle and invite our husbands into the process. It will save so many headaches and it also provides so much spaciousness for us. For example, during pre-menstration we are in the inner critic phase. This is a time for us to be the truth-teller and that's nothing to be ashamed about!
Bruh. The thing is tho…. I don’t even feel like this is being needy… like… saying I love you to someone especially who you are with only ONE time in 2 years is wild. If you love someone it should not be hard to simply say it more often especially if it’s brought to your attention… along with the actions of proving you love someone. Why be combative with it. Explain why it’s so hard or why you don’t but also try… if you truly care
In regards to giving words of affirmation and it not being received
55 minutes in
PERSPECTIVE IS KEY and I appreciate listening to the unit.
(😬as a woman the emotions are higher BUT THEY STILL THERE) don’t tell us that shhh! You might be right 🫡🤦🏾♀️ DON’T BRING IT UP 😂
I appreciate you both being so vulnerable in this episode because this was a real conversation. I had a difficult time trying to understand Glen hear though. I thought Yvette explained herself well her and I’m proud of how far she’s grown in being able to articulate her feelings. What I heard here is that Glenn spends a lot of time saying what he doesn’t like but not much time saying what he does so I’m not sure how Yvette should know what top things to do. If you know what Yvette’s tops are and you don’t make efforts to try and do those top things especially on big holidays, I don’t think saying that whatever actions you did do counts because that’s not how your partner receives love.
So your wife wanting you to tell her in words how you love and appreciate her is a pms symptom??
You failed to meet a reasonable need then try to make her feel guilty for it? I'm sure many other women understand you on this & validate your feelings, Yvette!
The thing about love languages is that they aren't about us, but the other person. Christ also encourages us to put others first ahead of ourselves. So yes, we should be taking time to learn how our person receives love, and if we're both learning each other, then everyone's needs are met. Do I think it's bad that he doesn't say I love you? Yeah...that sounds pretty rough. But I also heard that she's needy and her coming at him constantly might be making him feel even more reluctant to say it. I also wonder why it is that she needs to hear it so often? Like if she says it, and he doesn't say it back, I could see that for sure.
I really started making more of an effort after something that happened with a friend. She was going through a rough time, and I immediately gave lots of encouragement and tried to help her look on the bright side of the situation. It only upset her more because she felt like her feelings were being dismissed; she was not being allowed to feel or process her emotions. After everything, I remember walking around my house upset... thinking out loud, "Okay! But I mean, If *I* were upset I would want someone to encourage me. Like who wants to stay mad?!" And as clear as day, God said, "But that's YOU. That's how YOU want someone to encourage YOU." He then reminded me of how I had a similar experience of feeling silenced growing up. I wasn't allowed to experience any sadness because I forced to put on a smile or constantly told to toughen up; it resulted in deep depression, anxiety, bouts with suicide and me slowly feeling like I was dying inside...ignored. "You're doing to her what other people did to you. You didn't take time to consider what SHE wanted."
It's now less of "What?! This is how *I* give love--shouldn't you be more appreciative?" And more, "Hey, how can I help you (better)? What do you need from me today?" I've been praying I Corinthians 13:4-7 (the Message Bible specifically because God knows me and He knows He's gotta keep 100 with me on that one. 😭😆 ) And each time I'm reminded it's not about me; it's about Christ and how well I love around me and in my life.
At this point, until they actually have a sit down and talk about this together, it may never get resolved. I get it, he's been hurt (clearly it was traumatic--he may have even thought he was going to marry that woman), but he also needs to recognize his partner's needs are not being met because of that trauma. And for her, if this is TRULY the man GOD has sent into her life (applies to him too honestly), then she needs to learn to be patient with him. She is going to have to love him where he is and continue to pray for his healing. She needs to affirm herself in Christ first though because that's who we should always look to for affirmation first and foremost.
I wrote this LONG thesis...my Lord...I'm sorry yall. 🤣 But yeah, that's my opinion on the whole thing.
Hey family! I’ve been part of the wedding party since before we were called the wedding party, so trust that it is all love over here! I just wanted to add my two cents to help someone else who may be listening and triggered by Glenn. I recognize myself in Glenn now that I’m a wife and young mother dealing with all my childhood trauma. I can be combative when I feel unheard, I feel as though I need to protect myself from the world, and I have a hard time taking constructive criticism because it sounds like failure. I’ve had to learn that I push others away, or keep them at a distance (even my husband at times when he was just trying to help or understand) because I fear abandonment and rejection. And yes, we are wonderful partners and people and we deserve to be appreciated! But for myself, feeling unappreciated was ultimately due to the fact that I did not appreciate or love myself and people were reflecting that back to me. Just a thought. I love y’all ❤️