I've always known that I'm a healer. I was born that way. 54 years later, I still hold several grudges. Everything you said about healers is dead freakin on.
@@CharredFibers I do not believe that this is "healer personality type" This is a development of trauma as a child. Healers call themselves sensitive but like bro what if we are the normal ones and the people who say hurtful things are desensitized to abuse hence why they drink or are addicted to money, sex alcohol/distracting oneself from their own pain. I Could describe myself as a healer but healer looks like unhealthy coping strategies such as self abandonment fawning and hypervigilance plus being treated poorly creating the desire to want to spare others from the same experience in the future. I feel like the grudges come from not voicing how you feel to the person you are talking about like it sounds like built up resentment from not expressing yourself to talking to that person directly about it because as a child you were taught to put the needs of others before yourself thus leading to negative self talk, the inability to express yourself or assert boundaries to those or things that you feel uncomfortable with . Its all because your parents failed to heal themselves to heal you plus break the cycle of abuse . All of these personality types just sound like poor coping strategies learnt as a child from neglect, abuse or trauma. if we never had someone teach us what love looks like how could we follow through with things? how could we self abandon plus take on things we didnt want to take on but we did for others? How could we call other people hurtful names as we get angry or frutrated? It doesn't make sense I feel like this is all just to invalidate unhealthy coping strategies ... we do not have to be stuck holding grudges because we aee a "healer" we do not have to tolerate being calledf stupid by our partners because they get frustrated plus cannot express their emotions in a healthy way ??? This is crazy surely someone agrees !!! Are you going to tell your therapy clients that being called stupid by your partner is because they are a closer personality type? Absolutely not because its called abuse. Its called abuse and by teaching people its a personality type we are teaching that kind of behaviour is ok plus healthy or normal and that feelings of hurt after being called stupid are not valid because thats just the personality they have. Its like saying oh my husband just beats me when he gets tired because he gets tired its like bro no its not ok its ABUSE> I quite triggered here. We do not deserve to be treated this way ... if you fgeel hurt by something its because its probably hurtful to you time to check you so you see what you need to do for you to feel safe/loved first before taking into consideration anyone else in your life.//// I feel frustrated here but I feel like its valid what im saying .... I used to be addicted to heaps of stuff then started speaking up for myself about what feels uncomfortable plus setting boundaries plus no longer fawning as much now I have no desire to be addicted or distract I do not struggle with procrastination because I understand I have a battery that runs out some days. Its teh disconnection from ourself that causes these issues plus its how its seen as normal throughout day to day life. What do you say when you say hi to people ?? Hi how are you ? GOOD how are you? what if we really answered with how we felt ?? Saying like yeah bro look I feel tired as hell I feel sad I feel scared etc it would be so much better for us all I do it plus feel so seen plus heard doing it I suggest we all do it really it feels so good to love thyself healthily plus be connected to thyself forever more ..... peace gee
@@nickandrews2255 whilst I understand & agree with parts of what you're saying, I think that the way people *react* to childhood abuse & trauma is very different. Like one of my siblings has become incredibly angry themselves & calls people all kinds of names, yet can never be wrong & will become more angry with you if you try to point things out, etc. Whereas another has become a flighty dreamer who literally disassociates from reality. I myself could never imagine calling people some of the things my first sibling does (as you said, from not wanting to inflict what I went through on others) but we all grew up in the same household under the same abusive parents. So, what gives?
@@JBUHJBUH Its because one person becomes the scape goat where he learns to fawn. Fawning is self abandonment where as the other sibling may become the abuser as a way to gain control. Both are coping strategies stemming from trauma but one is where they hurt others to get control where as the other is to hurt themselves first. I have a sibling that is similar to what you are describing. Will be shout and scream as that is what my father did. Its all a coping strategy. I suggest you go to therapy if you haven't already. Therapy for you would be setting boundaries speaking your truth etc but for your sibling im not sure it could be learning to sit with anger learning to say I feel really angry when you say this or I feel x or y as they come up. All I know is that I have had to set boundaries with said sibling as I do not speak to myself like that so I will not be tolerating it from anybody else. What I am saying is so true as ive been both sides, Ive been to the side of thinking abuse is normal to realising what true connection to the self feels like now realising all the things we think are bad within the world all stem ffrom abuse that we think is normal such as invalidating eachothers feelings, not being authentic with eachother when we speak....speaking our truth when we feel necvessary etc all these things diminish the desire to be addicted to thinkgs like power, money unhealthy levels of sex ...basically any form of self a buse but you have to feel what it feels like to have someone treat you that way first to realise ohhhh this is how I was suppose to be treated or ohh this is how I like to be treated how can you know if you've never tasted it before ... its like drinking dirty water your whole life not realising its dirty just thinking this is normal then someone hands you a cup of crystal clear water that tastes incredible I hope we all get the help we need .... free therapists for all I say is a smart decision for us all
I just wanted to say that I am the daughter of two people who should not have gotten married. my parents are as different as you can be, but they are both incredible people, and I love and respect both of them. Our lives got so much better once they got divorced!
This absolutely describes my relationship with my boyfriend. I'm Closer/Thinker, and he's Dreamer/Healer, so we laugh a lot about how opposite we are. But we spend a lot of time putting our relationship first. We talk all the time about what bothers us, and as we're preparing for marriage a lot of new challenges are cropping up that we've been tackling together. I will say this, it is never boring and I wouldn't trade my relationship with him for anything in the whole world. We complement each other perfectly through our strengths and weaknesses, and in the end help to make each other better. I know I am better for knowing and loving him.
Ooooo, kaaaaaayyy.... exposed! I feel like ALL FOUR!!! I literally irritate myself from one circumstance to another, depending on which personality is most prominent in any given moment.
@Mended Light yep. It's exhausting. But there is a silver lining. I can relate to almost every single person and circumstance at some point. I don't have a problem seeing things from different perspectives. It just takes me longer to get there.
I think God brings people together for a reason. When they are oposites I believe it's for the greater good, so that using each other's strengths they are more able to move forward, run the race that God set for them, acomplish great things and be a blessing on the Earth working as a team. It's not always easy though. You guys are a great couple!
I’m a dreamer and a healer, but with ADHD… it’s such a struggle for me always feeling like I can’t get things done or feeling like something’s wrong with me, but I am experiencing the same highs and lows as you it seems… I’m so looking forward to this series. Thank you for humbling yourself and showing the world what truth looks like!
I'm like that too minus the ADHD. I'm pretty sure I'm a dreamer first and healer second, but I also got a few traits from the other 2... anyways, I think it's really great to find people who seem to be like me bec I've always felt like no one understood my point of view. I hope you guys are doing well.
@AmandaBMpofu I don't know the answer for that, but if that's something that you want, I hope that you find someone nice for you! I'd love to have a girlfriend myself, but there's a lot I need to work on myself before thinking about that.
@dizzie indeed. I have ADHD and know so many people with it and it's. It's so easy to spot in strangers and RUclipsrs now and stuff to. If affects so much.
Yes! I became immersed in ADHD info during the pandemic so now I am a lot more patient with him because I know which traits stem from ADHD and which do not.
You guys are a prime example that you can get along with someone completely opposite of you, as long as you both understand and respect each other and each other’s differences. Respectful communication and understanding oneself and your significant other is key.
Fellow Thinker (Healer secondary). One way or another, I'll help you, whether you need logic, or comfort. Doing things for myself, there's where the problems start.
I feel like I am a swirling mix of a healer, closer and thinker with sprinkles of a dreamer when I am comfortable. And I agree, a closer will bulldoze themself. Have you ever made an episode where you talk about recharging your battery when you are so drained, that you feel you cannot really relax anymore? I would love to watch it :)
My husband and I are also complete opposites with our personalities. He is a dreamer-thinker, and I am a closer-healer. So not only are we opposites with each other, but also within ourselves. It has definitely brought up some interesting struggles that we've had to work through as we learn to support each other in living authentically. It's quite a journey.
This video is EVERYTHING! I think that understanding your own needs and the needs of those around you (particularly your loved ones) is crucial to finding happiness which, I believe is what life is all about - hence the word “everything.” Thank you Jono and Alicia. Your wisdom will help so many people. ❤️
LOL, this is why I have so much trouble with myself! I'm an exact mix of a closer and a healer. And it's true, I can totally bulldoze myself and hurt my own feelings sometimes. The positive is a lot of honest self-evaluation, and drive when I need to make things happen.
Look forward to watching this series. The thought that comes to mind is you discuss the one reason couples divorce. But worthwhile discussing as well the one reason couples stay married-sacrifice
my wife and I are polar opposites. I'm not exaggerating when I say I have never met a person in my life who I have less in common with to the point that our shared opinions, problem solving styles, etc can be numbered pretty easily. I'm very much a healer and she's very much a closer, and I think the biggest struggle with our dynamic is healthy communication. I'm so glad you're making these videos, and I hope you talk about communication soon, but either way I hope my wife will appreciate this new series as much as I do
@@irrelevant_noob Maybe "conventional" would have been a better word. "No" and "stop" are the clear standard for most situations, but the concept of safewords comes from the BDSM community. Because certain BDSM scenarios might involve roleplaying where someone is saying "no," "stop" or is otherwise resisting as a part of the scene, the participants agree on a safeword beforehand...usually something random like "blue" or "pineapple"... to use instead. Basically, Jono and Alicia understand what a safeword is and what it's for, but they've (jokingly) chosen standard words for withdrawing consent anyway.
My mother is a healer, she held a grudge for almost 20 years before she gave the person a second chance. Once she is done she is done, that's that. I belive i got my healer from my mother. We are both so alike, so empathetic and senstive.
I am a Healer/Dreamer, and my husband is a Thinker/Closer. Our daughter is a Thinker (little early to discover what secondary trait she may have) who is Autistic. "That doesn't make sense to me" is literally something she has said to teachers.
I thiiiiink I'm a Dreamer/Thinker/Healer, in that order. And I think my husband is a Thinker/Healer/Closer. Neither of us are dominant or even secondary Closers, so we both have to put forth a lot of effort to achieve things. But we're there for each other, and I wouldn't trade it for anything 🥰
This is so fascinating to me, because I am 100% a Dreamer/Closer that was raised by Healer/Thinkers with Healer/Thinker sisters. I came to value the benefits of that personality type while always feeling kind of restless and held back. Then (at 34), I married a widowed Healer/Thinker with several either Healer or Thinker children. And spent several years wondering why I always felt at odds with those closest to me, despite how much I loved them. But my one biological daughter is absolutely a Dreamer/Closer, even at only 4. (She joined me selling seedlings at a plant sale and went into full salesman mode without any prompting at all). So, that has been fun! Going to watch all of these so I can glean ways of interacting better with all the Thinkers and Healers in my life!
Thank you! Extremely interesting! I think I am a healer-thinker and my partner is a dreamer-healer. The healer part of our personalities is what makes us always tenderly reconcile after a fight and makes us feel deeply connected.
I’ve never heard these specific personality archetypes before but it’s really interesting to think about! I’m definitely a thinker/dreamer (seems like a bit of an oxymoron 😅) while my fiancé is a healer/thinker. Having the overlap helps and I’ll need to think about leaning into that more. Especially as the dreamer in me gets carried away a lot 😂
Dreamer first, Healer second, Thinker third and I think I left Closer at the hospital where I was born. Grew up with two Closers and one Thinker in my family. It went fine until I was grown enough to have responsibilities, then it didn't go so fine. :P
Wow! Thank you for being vulnerable in order to share this! I quit all social media due to the lack of authenticity. I am pretty sure I am a healer closer. You WILL be healed lol. Being impatient is no joke 😅
This is exactly what I need right now. My husband and I are realizing just how different we are, and it’s been leading to hurt feelings, repetitive arguments and misunderstandings on both sides. I’m really looking forward to hearing you guys share more about your struggles, since you clearly have a healthy relationship and have worked through some of the same things my husband and I are now facing (we’re 8 years into our marriage, 9 years of our relationship).
I'm glad to have come across your guys' work. I'm entering therapy soon myself, and I'm rather scared they're not gonna be who I need them to be. At the bare minimum, I know I can count on you guys to hold me over.
A therapist is like a taylor. If you don't like the result, change and go somwhere else. You are the one hiring, don't ever forget that and you will find the right therapist for you.
I'm a closer/dreamer. I'm always trying to fix something and I'm very determined, but I'm also very passive in social situations. I always think people are making excuses if they talk about how they want something but have "reasons" for not doing it. I'm not a people person, but I always have projects and stories in my head.
I think I’m a closer/healer and my husband is definitely a thinker with a little bit of dreamer. But like you said it’s a little bit of all four inside all of us. As I mature and work on myself I find that I am more of all four. And also Im an internal thinker but I don’t let it show because I was heavily groomed to be worried about people’s feelings all the time. Also you guys are super funny while being knowledgeable
Looking forward to the rest of the series! Me and my husband are definitely opposites-in some ways. He' a thinker, I'm a feeler. He's a "what's the most efficient way to get this done?" Whereas I'm thinking "what feels the best for everyone?" However, one thing that we do find common ground is in having compassion for others and one another. Just, in different ways. He is straight-forward, practical-action oriented, whereas I will sit and listen (I am a therapist so, it fits! lol) and he works as a needs coordinator for a healthcare sharing organization-he listens to people's health needs, figures out the puzzle of getting them to who they need to have the financial needs met and also prays with them-compassion in action. Whereas I sit with people in their pain, and empathize, and reframe, and empower them. Our jobs fit us very well lol. Anyway-I'm super excited to see the rest of the series!
Once when i talked to my vicar about greif (who had also been trained as a counsellor) she said I was a thinker. It helped me out so much! I understood why Im always forgetting and misplacing stuff more than most people, my brain is just always thinking and not in the moment
This really help me understand some of the relational struggles I've had with my mother-in-law. I'm very much a healer, and she's a closer. When we lived with my in-laws for a time, we kept rubbing each other the wrong way and it caused tension. Now I realize it's not necessarily her or my fault but that we have different core values and personalities. Thank you so much for sharing this!
This was interesting. As someone who is an archetypal connector/relationships-focused person, I wasn't aware that there are people who don't hold that as at least one of their top 3 priorities. It's obvious to me, knowing a fair bit about psychology and personality theory, that I am innately drawn to conversation/building a sense of connection/prioritising harmony in relationships above all else, but to realise that there are people for whom this isn't even on their radar is wild.
Im really looking forward to seeing the whole series. This series made me realise where my problem is, because i value relationship -relationships, and my bf values being logical and accomplishing things and pushing himself. Thanks to this series i finally got it and i have an easier time having the difficult conversations and just making clearer boundaries because he is a real closer. Because i always assumed that everyone cares about relationships the same amount, and if you don't, then you just don't care about the person. But now i understand what he means by i care for you, but then like forgets to communicate because he is busy training for a sailing competition.
😅 So following your descriptions I think I am 70% Thinker and 30% Healer. Because more thinking, I analytically approach making people happy... or the most efficient path to peace. Of course it does backfire and leads to alot of internal struggle. And my husband is 50% dreamer and 50% closer. So yes, this is our 21st year of a difficult marriage and I only feel just this year have we made serious steps to a redressing the damage we have to done toneah other over time.
New Sub just recently found your channel, been binge watching it ever since... ❤️ It has been a big eye opener! THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing all your wisdom... You guys are Amazing! ❤ Huge help! I'm sharing your channel with everyone!
My boyfriend and I are the opposite of you guys and over the last three years it has been a bit learning curve with handling our differences. There has been many times when we first started dating where we'd ask if we'd be happier with someone "like us". When we fought in the first year it was a weapon to use. For a while we never had an answer to if we should find people that think the same as us but as we both matured and grew together we both realized that because we are so different that we subconsciously push eachother to grow as people in a healthy way. We now always say we are the same being just two half's of the same coin. Whenever the fact that we are different in this way comes up it is always in a positive and loving way. I let him know when he could improve in an area that I'm just naturally good at and vice versa. Often we actively seek out advice and solutions to our weaknesses from each other because they are the others strength. We both love that we are different people, it has pushed us to open up our worlds to different experiences and perspectives. We both truly believe that we wouldn't be happier with someone that thinks exactly like us or has our personality because it's not the personalities that make 100% of the relationship. It's also eachothers values and the ability to grow and better oneself with your partner.
I’m curious to see where this series goes. My wife and I have always talked about how opposite we are. After watching this, I would say she’s more of a Healer-Closer, and I’m more of a Dreamer-Thinker, and it makes sense that we have trouble understanding each other’s perspective sometimes. Thank you for sharing.
I watched this with my partner! We both identified our primary immediately (me Healer him Thinker) though the secondary took a bit of consideration. We think we’re both secondary Closers but we’re introverted about it. Unless I’m agitated or feel someone is really not keeping up, most of my Closer tendencies are applied to me only. I definitely relate to what they mentioned about Closers bulldozing themselves and creating their own mountains!
Well dang, apparently I'm a Healer! A few weeks ago, mom and I had a issue with someone close to us and I got MAD!!! Mom always gets mad, so to unwind she called one of her friends to vent. They were talking and mom tells her "yeah, Jessica is still mad..." Friends says, "wait, Jessica is mad? damn, that's serious!"
Dreamer + Thinker here. Was a Dreamer since a child, but I became more of a Thinker as I got older. Lots of trauma/fear blocking that Dreamer in me, honestly.
So, my relationship struggle isn't a marriage, but with my dad. He is a thinker-closer. I'm an autistic dreamer- thinker- healer (depends on the situation and how much stimulation is going on. More dreamer at home, thinker at work and healer with friends.) I'm hoping to maybe learn some things about interpersonal relationships in general to help us get along. He had a very short temper, and it comes out as verbal abuse at me. I get hurt and sometimes lash out right back at him, when I can no longer just stay quiet and take it, knowing he is in the wrong. I need to find a functional medium where I can stand up for myself without him flying off the handle. Maybe this series will help.
I can testify your vulnerability helps at least one person (me) 🙋🏻♀️ !!! to be more aware of my strengths/weaknesses so THANK YOU BOTH for your remarkable honesty !! if I had to guess I’d say I’m a dreamer/thinker… analysis paralysis + difficulty following thru if not fun = spicy mix
I'm a healer and a thinker. 15:16 So this part says about my duality. I especially have deadly grudges towards anyone who's hurt any of my loved ones. While on the flip side I'm nagging about the necessity of reading the terms and conditions.
I am a healer/dreamer and my husband is a closer/dreamer. And somehow I think that why we work ❤ we are very much opposites in most ways but we have this middle ground that keeps us balanced.
Interestingly, I feel like I'm a healer first and closer second. So many of the closer aspects I relate to, like impatience, but that are negated by the healer aspects, like empathy and sensitivity leading me to forego the urge to push others to close.
On the topic of thinkers, that reminds me of the time, recently, when my friend had their valuables (laptop, wallet, passport, and more) stolen and my reaction was "okay, what EXACTLY was stolen? How important were these things in the bigger picture?" I figured it made most sense to redirect from the emotional reaction to a more analytical approach and calmly take account of what exactly happened to plan the best course of action in response. Since that was in a group chat, my other friend pointed out how I was cementing all that went wrong and disregarded their feelings, which I didn't mean to do. It was simply the best way I knew how to try and solve the problem and thereby help my friend who is in (momentary) shock and shambles.
I do have all 4 of them, with dreamer being the dominant one. Secondary, probably healer and then closer and thinker approximately holding their balance on third place. My husband is clearly a thinker. Then comes nothing for a long time, then closer. The thinker paralysis of finding the 'perfect' solution does sometimes seem to get in his way of getting things done - hey, that's interesting! Is there a test out there to validate assumptions of what type one is?
I am a closer healer my husband is a thinker dreamer, e've together 43 yrs of marriage and yes its challenging but somehow through 3 kids boys we have made it work😊
Love these two with you two together, super interesting! I also have a partner that's very different from me... we learn more about eachothers manuels, every day and we love eachothers differences, but some daysss.. ;-) Also it's super cool to hear that you both know about MBTI & the four sides of the mind. Would love to hear more about it!
I enjoyed watching this video so much. I loved seeing y’all bring up Myers-Briggs. I’m more familiar with color code however I could identify between your 4 personalities and the color code 4 personalities. I’m definitely a healer/dreamer hybrid.
Can you be both a healer, thinker, and a closer? I see myself in all three. Before I burned out and lost everything, I was quite abrasive and I feel pretty bad about it. I used to love the motto: "Lead, follow or get out of my way!" but at the same time, I'm an HSP and fall within the INFP-T type. So I feel like I was in a bit of a Jekyll & Hyde situation. In my personal life, I was mostly a healer with some thinker features but in my academic and professional life, I was a closer...and a jerk! And I feel terrible about that.
I was a dreamer, people say I'm sensitive but i'm not a healer I don't wanna bother people and I just seek comfort, I may be a closer cause I can't sleep until its done, I read the manuals but I don't care for order like a thinker.
I'm a dreamer/healer and my husband is a thinker/healer. We have a lot of overlap but since our primary personalities are "opposite," a lot of people wonder why we'd marry someone so different 😂
This sounds very similar to the DISC model, but with different names and a broader focus beyond just workplace relationships. D (Dominance) = extroverted/task-oriented = Closer I (Influence) = extroverted/people-oriented = Dreamer S (Steadiness) = introverted/people-oriented = Healer C (Conscientiousness) = introverted/task-oriented = Thinker Is my interpretation correct? Great video btw.
I think for a max. closer/thinker with high emotional intelligence, it makes perfect sense to marry a dreamer/healer because the relationship itself will provide the closer side a perpetual mountain to climb, and the thinker side will recognize it as a worthy challenge recognizing the dreamer/healer perspective as filling a void in their own understanding. What the dreamer/healer gets out of the relationship is less clear to me. Yes, having a closer/thinker around would help achieve the dream but if the dream is fun and comfort, having a closer/thinker around would also prevent it happening. Like, you get to realize the dream, but you don’t get to enjoy it….
Well shoot! I’m clearly a healer/closer. That explains a lot. I definitely have bits of each, but those two mostly. That doesn’t help my mental health issues.
I don't know what I am of these personality types. I love adventure but I have things to do and other people either take too long or do it the wrong way. Like I will generally choose the fun thing to do but I won't stop worrying about it until I get it done. And even then it will be procrastinated
Huh. I'm starting to think I may be a healer-thinker. Maybe a dash of dreamer in there but not very productive lately, probably the thing keeping me from focusing on all the work I have to do but that can also be an exhausting/analysis -paralysis combo
I think I would classify as Dreamer-Closer. I'm an ENFP in MBTI and I definitely have this funny, creative side, but I also get stuff done. The older I am the more I tap into my inner achiever. I'm currently a manager in marketing. 😀 I get impatient with people. I have a tendency to hide my vulnerabilities and look capable and "perfect" even though I greatly value authenticity, so that's a struggle. Inside, I'm super sensitive. That helps me to be less direct. I usually think before I criticize and try to be gentle. But my own personalities do clash a little, I'm torn between doing what's fun and the need to climb mountains and be effective. And the need to stop doing what I don't enjoy anymore and the need to look capable and trustworthy. I've only had one serious relationship and that was with a Thinker and it did feel like we were opposites and his lack of warmth and showing emotions was both making me feel secure and driving me crazy, depending on the situation.
Really looking forward to this series. My wife and I are very different in a lot of ways and yeah we struggle sometimes, tbh, so I look forward to some pro tips, shall we say.
wow thank you for this video i have always known i was a healer however i also have very strong closer traits and my husband is a thinker with very strong dreamer traits i didn't know about the different personality types i will be watching more of your videos!
Makes sense why I vibe with Jono so much! I too am a dreamer and a healer! I would say my husband is too! I think he’s more dreamer but I can’t figure out what’s dominant for me. I’m pretty equally both I think 🤔 Alicia, you are definitely not alone as a female with a closer-thinker personality! You described my mother to a T!! My mom is more dominantly a closer but she’s for sure got some thinker! The way you described having mountain to climb made me laugh because that is SOOOOOOOO my mom!! She has 3 jobs and I do think she does them for the money but I low-key think it’s also because she thrives on being busy! But it’s true about the bulldozing. I really don’t think she meant to be that way to us growing up but it was hard for her to just let us learn things sometimes and she would take over a lot. I think this why as a 31-year-old now that I’ve had a huge drive to be more independent in my adult years because I feel like my mom did almost too much for me sometimes. I do love her so much though and despite what I said, she still feels like a perfect person to me ❤❤❤
It’s it possible to be both a closer and healer, because I take both routes and identify with every characteristic of both. I was raised by closers so it’s a big part of how I function but I think I’m also a healer due to being raised by closers. I hope this makes sense.
Join the Mended Light membership site: Click mendedlight.com/25 and get 50% off!
my favourite golden retriever / black cat couple
Awww, thank you!
Or Hufflepuff/Slytherin
Andy and April from Parks and Rec: “Am I a joke to you?” 😂
OMGee 😅 that’s the puurrrfect analogy for these two 😊
I've always known that I'm a healer. I was born that way. 54 years later, I still hold several grudges. Everything you said about healers is dead freakin on.
Hell hath no fury like a healer scorned.
@@MendedLight 100% true. Healer, Scorpio, youngest daughter, latchkey kid, daughter of an alcoholic.... My life has been a set up. LOL
@@CharredFibers I do not believe that this is "healer personality type" This is a development of trauma as a child. Healers call themselves sensitive but like bro what if we are the normal ones and the people who say hurtful things are desensitized to abuse hence why they drink or are addicted to money, sex alcohol/distracting oneself from their own pain. I Could describe myself as a healer but healer looks like unhealthy coping strategies such as self abandonment fawning and hypervigilance plus being treated poorly creating the desire to want to spare others from the same experience in the future. I feel like the grudges come from not voicing how you feel to the person you are talking about like it sounds like built up resentment from not expressing yourself to talking to that person directly about it because as a child you were taught to put the needs of others before yourself thus leading to negative self talk, the inability to express yourself or assert boundaries to those or things that you feel uncomfortable with . Its all because your parents failed to heal themselves to heal you plus break the cycle of abuse .
All of these personality types just sound like poor coping strategies learnt as a child from neglect, abuse or trauma. if we never had someone teach us what love looks like how could we follow through with things? how could we self abandon plus take on things we didnt want to take on but we did for others? How could we call other people hurtful names as we get angry or frutrated? It doesn't make sense I feel like this is all just to invalidate unhealthy coping strategies ... we do not have to be stuck holding grudges because we aee a "healer" we do not have to tolerate being calledf stupid by our partners because they get frustrated plus cannot express their emotions in a healthy way ??? This is crazy surely someone agrees !!!
Are you going to tell your therapy clients that being called stupid by your partner is because they are a closer personality type? Absolutely not because its called abuse. Its called abuse and by teaching people its a personality type we are teaching that kind of behaviour is ok plus healthy or normal and that feelings of hurt after being called stupid are not valid because thats just the personality they have. Its like saying oh my husband just beats me when he gets tired because he gets tired its like bro no its not ok its ABUSE> I quite triggered here. We do not deserve to be treated this way ... if you fgeel hurt by something its because its probably hurtful to you time to check you so you see what you need to do for you to feel safe/loved first before taking into consideration anyone else in your life.//// I feel frustrated here but I feel like its valid what im saying .... I used to be addicted to heaps of stuff then started speaking up for myself about what feels uncomfortable plus setting boundaries plus no longer fawning as much now I have no desire to be addicted or distract I do not struggle with procrastination because I understand I have a battery that runs out some days. Its teh disconnection from ourself that causes these issues plus its how its seen as normal throughout day to day life. What do you say when you say hi to people ?? Hi how are you ? GOOD how are you? what if we really answered with how we felt ?? Saying like yeah bro look I feel tired as hell I feel sad I feel scared etc it would be so much better for us all I do it plus feel so seen plus heard doing it I suggest we all do it really it feels so good to love thyself healthily plus be connected to thyself forever more ..... peace gee
@@nickandrews2255 whilst I understand & agree with parts of what you're saying, I think that the way people *react* to childhood abuse & trauma is very different. Like one of my siblings has become incredibly angry themselves & calls people all kinds of names, yet can never be wrong & will become more angry with you if you try to point things out, etc. Whereas another has become a flighty dreamer who literally disassociates from reality. I myself could never imagine calling people some of the things my first sibling does (as you said, from not wanting to inflict what I went through on others) but we all grew up in the same household under the same abusive parents. So, what gives?
@@JBUHJBUH Its because one person becomes the scape goat where he learns to fawn. Fawning is self abandonment where as the other sibling may become the abuser as a way to gain control. Both are coping strategies stemming from trauma but one is where they hurt others to get control where as the other is to hurt themselves first. I have a sibling that is similar to what you are describing. Will be shout and scream as that is what my father did. Its all a coping strategy. I suggest you go to therapy if you haven't already. Therapy for you would be setting boundaries speaking your truth etc but for your sibling im not sure it could be learning to sit with anger learning to say I feel really angry when you say this or I feel x or y as they come up. All I know is that I have had to set boundaries with said sibling as I do not speak to myself like that so I will not be tolerating it from anybody else. What I am saying is so true as ive been both sides, Ive been to the side of thinking abuse is normal to realising what true connection to the self feels like now realising all the things we think are bad within the world all stem ffrom abuse that we think is normal such as invalidating eachothers feelings, not being authentic with eachother when we speak....speaking our truth when we feel necvessary etc all these things diminish the desire to be addicted to thinkgs like power, money unhealthy levels of sex ...basically any form of self a buse but you have to feel what it feels like to have someone treat you that way first to realise ohhhh this is how I was suppose to be treated or ohh this is how I like to be treated how can you know if you've never tasted it before ... its like drinking dirty water your whole life not realising its dirty just thinking this is normal then someone hands you a cup of crystal clear water that tastes incredible I hope we all get the help we need .... free therapists for all I say is a smart decision for us all
I just wanted to say that I am the daughter of two people who should not have gotten married. my parents are as different as you can be, but they are both incredible people, and I love and respect both of them. Our lives got so much better once they got divorced!
Here after your Community announcement... Praying for y'all💓
Same.
Thank you!
I hope they aren’t getting divorced, this gave a lot of hope about my fiance and I!
The four personality types remind me of the four elements:
Dreamer- Air
Healer- Water
Closer- Fire
Thinker- Earth
This absolutely describes my relationship with my boyfriend. I'm Closer/Thinker, and he's Dreamer/Healer, so we laugh a lot about how opposite we are. But we spend a lot of time putting our relationship first. We talk all the time about what bothers us, and as we're preparing for marriage a lot of new challenges are cropping up that we've been tackling together. I will say this, it is never boring and I wouldn't trade my relationship with him for anything in the whole world. We complement each other perfectly through our strengths and weaknesses, and in the end help to make each other better. I know I am better for knowing and loving him.
Is he a dreamer healer or does he have adhd and trauma
Ow, that's beautiful :3 and congrats for the engage!
Ooooo, kaaaaaayyy.... exposed!
I feel like ALL FOUR!!! I literally irritate myself from one circumstance to another, depending on which personality is most prominent in any given moment.
So you're always at war with yourself? That's wild!
@Mended Light yep. It's exhausting. But there is a silver lining. I can relate to almost every single person and circumstance at some point. I don't have a problem seeing things from different perspectives. It just takes me longer to get there.
@@amandalogo9993this is so relatable 😂
I think God brings people together for a reason. When they are oposites I believe it's for the greater good, so that using each other's strengths they are more able to move forward, run the race that God set for them, acomplish great things and be a blessing on the Earth working as a team. It's not always easy though. You guys are a great couple!
Thank you. This was a beautiful read.
I’m a dreamer and a healer, but with ADHD… it’s such a struggle for me always feeling like I can’t get things done or feeling like something’s wrong with me, but I am experiencing the same highs and lows as you it seems… I’m so looking forward to this series. Thank you for humbling yourself and showing the world what truth looks like!
Me too! I'm an INFP with ADHD. I am terrified at whether I'm capable of being in a healthy relationship
I'm like that too minus the ADHD.
I'm pretty sure I'm a dreamer first and healer second, but I also got a few traits from the other 2... anyways, I think it's really great to find people who seem to be like me bec I've always felt like no one understood my point of view.
I hope you guys are doing well.
@AmandaBMpofu I don't know the answer for that, but if that's something that you want, I hope that you find someone nice for you!
I'd love to have a girlfriend myself, but there's a lot I need to work on myself before thinking about that.
I’m definitely a healer, and my husband is definitely a thinker and to a lesser degree, a closer.
That can be so hard, but also so beautiful.
When you described a dreamer, that's basically me with ADHD 💀💀💀💀
Same here!
My husband is the dreamer in our equation. He also has ADHD. Thank you for sharing❤
@@anathen the more I meet people with ADHD, the more I become certain that it shapes our entire personality
@dizzie indeed. I have ADHD and know so many people with it and it's. It's so easy to spot in strangers and RUclipsrs now and stuff to. If affects so much.
Yes! I became immersed in ADHD info during the pandemic so now I am a lot more patient with him because I know which traits stem from ADHD and which do not.
I love how Alicia looks at Jono 🥺❤️
You guys are a prime example that you can get along with someone completely opposite of you, as long as you both understand and respect each other and each other’s differences. Respectful communication and understanding oneself and your significant other is key.
When you started describing the Thinker, I felt so called out. That's me in a nutshell! 😂
Yeah, we really like this system :)
Fellow Thinker (Healer secondary). One way or another, I'll help you, whether you need logic, or comfort. Doing things for myself, there's where the problems start.
@@elaineb7065 same! 😭
I feel like I am a swirling mix of a healer, closer and thinker with sprinkles of a dreamer when I am comfortable.
And I agree, a closer will bulldoze themself.
Have you ever made an episode where you talk about recharging your battery when you are so drained, that you feel you cannot really relax anymore? I would love to watch it :)
I haven't even started and already love it
I love that when one of you is talking the other one diverts their full eye-contact and full attention to them.
⭐relationship goals⭐
Anybody else at a total loss for which type they are because all four are relatable in different contexts? 😅
Yes, exactly :)))
Meee 😅😅
There’s a test you can take on the Mended Light membership.
My husband and I are also complete opposites with our personalities. He is a dreamer-thinker, and I am a closer-healer. So not only are we opposites with each other, but also within ourselves. It has definitely brought up some interesting struggles that we've had to work through as we learn to support each other in living authentically. It's quite a journey.
This video is EVERYTHING!
I think that understanding your own needs and the needs of those around you (particularly your loved ones) is crucial to finding happiness which, I believe is what life is all about - hence the word “everything.” Thank you Jono and Alicia. Your wisdom will help so many people. ❤️
LOL, this is why I have so much trouble with myself! I'm an exact mix of a closer and a healer. And it's true, I can totally bulldoze myself and hurt my own feelings sometimes. The positive is a lot of honest self-evaluation, and drive when I need to make things happen.
Oh my goodness! I love that you showed Mr. Rogers as a healer!!
Look forward to watching this series. The thought that comes to mind is you discuss the one reason couples divorce. But worthwhile discussing as well the one reason couples stay married-sacrifice
my wife and I are polar opposites. I'm not exaggerating when I say I have never met a person in my life who I have less in common with to the point that our shared opinions, problem solving styles, etc can be numbered pretty easily. I'm very much a healer and she's very much a closer, and I think the biggest struggle with our dynamic is healthy communication. I'm so glad you're making these videos, and I hope you talk about communication soon, but either way I hope my wife will appreciate this new series as much as I do
"My safe word is 'no.'"
"My safe word is 'stop.'"
They're a little confused, but they've got the spirit.
Or they're just valuing CLEAR communication...
@@irrelevant_noob I'm making a joke. Usually "safe word" refers to something less straightforward than "no" or "stop."
@@vulcanhumor vulcans aren't supposed to be "less straightforward," are they? o.O
@@irrelevant_noob Maybe "conventional" would have been a better word. "No" and "stop" are the clear standard for most situations, but the concept of safewords comes from the BDSM community. Because certain BDSM scenarios might involve roleplaying where someone is saying "no," "stop" or is otherwise resisting as a part of the scene, the participants agree on a safeword beforehand...usually something random like "blue" or "pineapple"... to use instead. Basically, Jono and Alicia understand what a safeword is and what it's for, but they've (jokingly) chosen standard words for withdrawing consent anyway.
@@vulcanhumor i knew what they were for, i just hadn't been thinking about the conventional words being usable in RP... ^^ Thanks for explaining. 👍
My mother is a healer, she held a grudge for almost 20 years before she gave the person a second chance. Once she is done she is done, that's that. I belive i got my healer from my mother. We are both so alike, so empathetic and senstive.
I am a Healer/Dreamer, and my husband is a Thinker/Closer. Our daughter is a Thinker (little early to discover what secondary trait she may have) who is Autistic. "That doesn't make sense to me" is literally something she has said to teachers.
I can literally can see myself as all 4 tips. But dreamer is the biggest one.
I thiiiiink I'm a Dreamer/Thinker/Healer, in that order. And I think my husband is a Thinker/Healer/Closer. Neither of us are dominant or even secondary Closers, so we both have to put forth a lot of effort to achieve things. But we're there for each other, and I wouldn't trade it for anything 🥰
That's beautiful :)
My husband and I are also complete opposites! It has definitely been hard, but after 22 years, we’re figuring it out. 😅
This is so fascinating to me, because I am 100% a Dreamer/Closer that was raised by Healer/Thinkers with Healer/Thinker sisters. I came to value the benefits of that personality type while always feeling kind of restless and held back. Then (at 34), I married a widowed Healer/Thinker with several either Healer or Thinker children. And spent several years wondering why I always felt at odds with those closest to me, despite how much I loved them. But my one biological daughter is absolutely a Dreamer/Closer, even at only 4. (She joined me selling seedlings at a plant sale and went into full salesman mode without any prompting at all). So, that has been fun! Going to watch all of these so I can glean ways of interacting better with all the Thinkers and Healers in my life!
Thank you! Extremely interesting! I think I am a healer-thinker and my partner is a dreamer-healer. The healer part of our personalities is what makes us always tenderly reconcile after a fight and makes us feel deeply connected.
I’ve never heard these specific personality archetypes before but it’s really interesting to think about! I’m definitely a thinker/dreamer (seems like a bit of an oxymoron 😅) while my fiancé is a healer/thinker. Having the overlap helps and I’ll need to think about leaning into that more. Especially as the dreamer in me gets carried away a lot 😂
I cannot express how glad my heart is to see a Mask of Zorro insert ❤
One of my all-time favorite movies! - Jono
@@MendedLight Mine too!!
I am so grateful to you both for tackling these topics so openly. Also, side note to Alicia, you are so beautiful!
Dreamer first, Healer second, Thinker third and I think I left Closer at the hospital where I was born. Grew up with two Closers and one Thinker in my family. It went fine until I was grown enough to have responsibilities, then it didn't go so fine. :P
I think this is the most real thing I've seen on YT ever. Thank your so much for your work.
Wow! Thank you for being vulnerable in order to share this! I quit all social media due to the lack of authenticity. I am pretty sure I am a healer closer. You WILL be healed lol. Being impatient is no joke 😅
This is exactly what I need right now. My husband and I are realizing just how different we are, and it’s been leading to hurt feelings, repetitive arguments and misunderstandings on both sides. I’m really looking forward to hearing you guys share more about your struggles, since you clearly have a healthy relationship and have worked through some of the same things my husband and I are now facing (we’re 8 years into our marriage, 9 years of our relationship).
OMG, I so love you two!! Thank you so much for doing this!! You are putting SO MUCH POSITIVE HEALING ENERGY out into the world!! Thank you!!!
I'm glad to have come across your guys' work.
I'm entering therapy soon myself, and I'm rather scared they're not gonna be who I need them to be. At the bare minimum, I know I can count on you guys to hold me over.
A therapist is like a taylor. If you don't like the result, change and go somwhere else. You are the one hiring, don't ever forget that and you will find the right therapist for you.
Thank you for new series topic, I do believe that perfectly works for anyone who is dating consciously and search for serious relationships
You're so welcome!
" My delicate little flower " AHHHH SO ADORABLE!!! 😊
I'm a closer/dreamer. I'm always trying to fix something and I'm very determined, but I'm also very passive in social situations. I always think people are making excuses if they talk about how they want something but have "reasons" for not doing it. I'm not a people person, but I always have projects and stories in my head.
I think I’m a closer/healer and my husband is definitely a thinker with a little bit of dreamer. But like you said it’s a little bit of all four inside all of us. As I mature and work on myself I find that I am more of all four. And also Im an internal thinker but I don’t let it show because I was heavily groomed to be worried about people’s feelings all the time. Also you guys are super funny while being knowledgeable
This is helpful not just for my marriage, but also in my parenting journey!
Looking forward to the rest of the series! Me and my husband are definitely opposites-in some ways. He' a thinker, I'm a feeler. He's a "what's the most efficient way to get this done?" Whereas I'm thinking "what feels the best for everyone?" However, one thing that we do find common ground is in having compassion for others and one another. Just, in different ways. He is straight-forward, practical-action oriented, whereas I will sit and listen (I am a therapist so, it fits! lol) and he works as a needs coordinator for a healthcare sharing organization-he listens to people's health needs, figures out the puzzle of getting them to who they need to have the financial needs met and also prays with them-compassion in action. Whereas I sit with people in their pain, and empathize, and reframe, and empower them. Our jobs fit us very well lol. Anyway-I'm super excited to see the rest of the series!
Once when i talked to my vicar about greif (who had also been trained as a counsellor) she said I was a thinker. It helped me out so much! I understood why Im always forgetting and misplacing stuff more than most people, my brain is just always thinking and not in the moment
This really help me understand some of the relational struggles I've had with my mother-in-law. I'm very much a healer, and she's a closer. When we lived with my in-laws for a time, we kept rubbing each other the wrong way and it caused tension. Now I realize it's not necessarily her or my fault but that we have different core values and personalities. Thank you so much for sharing this!
This was interesting. As someone who is an archetypal connector/relationships-focused person, I wasn't aware that there are people who don't hold that as at least one of their top 3 priorities.
It's obvious to me, knowing a fair bit about psychology and personality theory, that I am innately drawn to conversation/building a sense of connection/prioritising harmony in relationships above all else, but to realise that there are people for whom this isn't even on their radar is wild.
Im really looking forward to seeing the whole series. This series made me realise where my problem is, because i value relationship -relationships, and my bf values being logical and accomplishing things and pushing himself. Thanks to this series i finally got it and i have an easier time having the difficult conversations and just making clearer boundaries because he is a real closer. Because i always assumed that everyone cares about relationships the same amount, and if you don't, then you just don't care about the person. But now i understand what he means by i care for you, but then like forgets to communicate because he is busy training for a sailing competition.
This is really helping me understand!!! My husband is bits of all except healing. And I’m predominantly a healer. No wonder we clash!
Husband is a dreamer.. and the Taxes comment NAILED IT!!❤❤
I so relate to over-promising and under-delivering and letting people down 😕
😅 So following your descriptions I think I am 70% Thinker and 30% Healer. Because more thinking, I analytically approach making people happy... or the most efficient path to peace. Of course it does backfire and leads to alot of internal struggle. And my husband is 50% dreamer and 50% closer. So yes, this is our 21st year of a difficult marriage and I only feel just this year have we made serious steps to a redressing the damage we have to done toneah other over time.
New Sub just recently found your channel, been binge watching it ever since... ❤️ It has been a big eye opener! THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing all your wisdom... You guys are Amazing! ❤ Huge help! I'm sharing your channel with everyone!
Thank you so much!
Dreamer healer here! 🤚I FEEL YOU SO MUCH
My boyfriend and I are the opposite of you guys and over the last three years it has been a bit learning curve with handling our differences. There has been many times when we first started dating where we'd ask if we'd be happier with someone "like us". When we fought in the first year it was a weapon to use. For a while we never had an answer to if we should find people that think the same as us but as we both matured and grew together we both realized that because we are so different that we subconsciously push eachother to grow as people in a healthy way. We now always say we are the same being just two half's of the same coin. Whenever the fact that we are different in this way comes up it is always in a positive and loving way. I let him know when he could improve in an area that I'm just naturally good at and vice versa. Often we actively seek out advice and solutions to our weaknesses from each other because they are the others strength. We both love that we are different people, it has pushed us to open up our worlds to different experiences and perspectives. We both truly believe that we wouldn't be happier with someone that thinks exactly like us or has our personality because it's not the personalities that make 100% of the relationship. It's also eachothers values and the ability to grow and better oneself with your partner.
I'm definitely a healer and a thinker. But I know I lean more into the healer. And it's crazy how much this makes sense about me.
I’m curious to see where this series goes. My wife and I have always talked about how opposite we are. After watching this, I would say she’s more of a Healer-Closer, and I’m more of a Dreamer-Thinker, and it makes sense that we have trouble understanding each other’s perspective sometimes. Thank you for sharing.
You brought up Harry Potter, so I'm just gonna put this here...
Dreamer : Gryffindor
Healer : Hufflepuff
Thinker : Ravenclaw
Closer : Slytherin
I watched this with my partner! We both identified our primary immediately (me Healer him Thinker) though the secondary took a bit of consideration. We think we’re both secondary Closers but we’re introverted about it.
Unless I’m agitated or feel someone is really not keeping up, most of my Closer tendencies are applied to me only. I definitely relate to what they mentioned about Closers bulldozing themselves and creating their own mountains!
I am a dreamer and a thinker and those descriptions were spot on for me along with the struggles i deal with 😢
Well dang, apparently I'm a Healer!
A few weeks ago, mom and I had a issue with someone close to us and I got MAD!!! Mom always gets mad, so to unwind she called one of her friends to vent. They were talking and mom tells her "yeah, Jessica is still mad..." Friends says, "wait, Jessica is mad? damn, that's serious!"
Dreamer + Thinker here. Was a Dreamer since a child, but I became more of a Thinker as I got older. Lots of trauma/fear blocking that Dreamer in me, honestly.
So, my relationship struggle isn't a marriage, but with my dad. He is a thinker-closer. I'm an autistic dreamer- thinker- healer (depends on the situation and how much stimulation is going on. More dreamer at home, thinker at work and healer with friends.)
I'm hoping to maybe learn some things about interpersonal relationships in general to help us get along.
He had a very short temper, and it comes out as verbal abuse at me. I get hurt and sometimes lash out right back at him, when I can no longer just stay quiet and take it, knowing he is in the wrong.
I need to find a functional medium where I can stand up for myself without him flying off the handle.
Maybe this series will help.
I can testify your vulnerability helps at least one person (me) 🙋🏻♀️ !!! to be more aware of my strengths/weaknesses so THANK YOU BOTH for your remarkable honesty !! if I had to guess I’d say I’m a dreamer/thinker… analysis paralysis + difficulty following thru if not fun = spicy mix
I'm a healer and a thinker.
15:16 So this part says about my duality.
I especially have deadly grudges towards anyone who's hurt any of my loved ones.
While on the flip side I'm nagging about the necessity of reading the terms and conditions.
I am a healer/dreamer and my husband is a closer/dreamer. And somehow I think that why we work ❤ we are very much opposites in most ways but we have this middle ground that keeps us balanced.
Interestingly, I feel like I'm a healer first and closer second. So many of the closer aspects I relate to, like impatience, but that are negated by the healer aspects, like empathy and sensitivity leading me to forego the urge to push others to close.
On the topic of thinkers, that reminds me of the time, recently, when my friend had their valuables (laptop, wallet, passport, and more) stolen and my reaction was "okay, what EXACTLY was stolen? How important were these things in the bigger picture?" I figured it made most sense to redirect from the emotional reaction to a more analytical approach and calmly take account of what exactly happened to plan the best course of action in response. Since that was in a group chat, my other friend pointed out how I was cementing all that went wrong and disregarded their feelings, which I didn't mean to do. It was simply the best way I knew how to try and solve the problem and thereby help my friend who is in (momentary) shock and shambles.
I do have all 4 of them, with dreamer being the dominant one. Secondary, probably healer and then closer and thinker approximately holding their balance on third place.
My husband is clearly a thinker. Then comes nothing for a long time, then closer. The thinker paralysis of finding the 'perfect' solution does sometimes seem to get in his way of getting things done - hey, that's interesting!
Is there a test out there to validate assumptions of what type one is?
I am a closer healer my husband is a thinker dreamer, e've together 43 yrs of marriage and yes its challenging but somehow through 3 kids boys we have made it work😊
Love these two with you two together, super interesting! I also have a partner that's very different from me... we learn more about eachothers manuels, every day and we love eachothers differences, but some daysss.. ;-) Also it's super cool to hear that you both know about MBTI & the four sides of the mind. Would love to hear more about it!
I enjoyed watching this video so much. I loved seeing y’all bring up Myers-Briggs. I’m more familiar with color code however I could identify between your 4 personalities and the color code 4 personalities. I’m definitely a healer/dreamer hybrid.
Can you be both a healer, thinker, and a closer? I see myself in all three. Before I burned out and lost everything, I was quite abrasive and I feel pretty bad about it. I used to love the motto: "Lead, follow or get out of my way!" but at the same time, I'm an HSP and fall within the INFP-T type. So I feel like I was in a bit of a Jekyll & Hyde situation. In my personal life, I was mostly a healer with some thinker features but in my academic and professional life, I was a closer...and a jerk! And I feel terrible about that.
I was a dreamer, people say I'm sensitive but i'm not a healer I don't wanna bother people and I just seek comfort, I may be a closer cause I can't sleep until its done, I read the manuals but I don't care for order like a thinker.
we all have issues, those who claim to be perfect just have more than others
I'm a dreamer/healer and my husband is a thinker/healer. We have a lot of overlap but since our primary personalities are "opposite," a lot of people wonder why we'd marry someone so different 😂
nature : dreamer
nurture: healer/thinker(I worked on that one a lot!)
This sounds very similar to the DISC model, but with different names and a broader focus beyond just workplace relationships.
D (Dominance) = extroverted/task-oriented = Closer
I (Influence) = extroverted/people-oriented = Dreamer
S (Steadiness) = introverted/people-oriented = Healer
C (Conscientiousness) = introverted/task-oriented = Thinker
Is my interpretation correct? Great video btw.
I'm a healer first then a dreamer. I don't have the dreamer's energy but I have that childlike wonder and lack focus. 😅
I think for a max. closer/thinker with high emotional intelligence, it makes perfect sense to marry a dreamer/healer because the relationship itself will provide the closer side a perpetual mountain to climb, and the thinker side will recognize it as a worthy challenge recognizing the dreamer/healer perspective as filling a void in their own understanding. What the dreamer/healer gets out of the relationship is less clear to me. Yes, having a closer/thinker around would help achieve the dream but if the dream is fun and comfort, having a closer/thinker around would also prevent it happening. Like, you get to realize the dream, but you don’t get to enjoy it….
Well shoot! I’m clearly a healer/closer. That explains a lot. I definitely have bits of each, but those two mostly. That doesn’t help my mental health issues.
I believe I'm a thinker/healer(not sure which is dominant) and spouse is a closer/healer.
We do argue a lot about things.
I'm pretty sure, that I'm predominantly a thinker, secondary a healer or a dreamer. I feel like I only have the flip sides of the those though.
I don't know what I am of these personality types. I love adventure but I have things to do and other people either take too long or do it the wrong way. Like I will generally choose the fun thing to do but I won't stop worrying about it until I get it done. And even then it will be procrastinated
Huh. I'm starting to think I may be a healer-thinker. Maybe a dash of dreamer in there but not very productive lately, probably the thing keeping me from focusing on all the work I have to do but that can also be an exhausting/analysis -paralysis combo
So true. I'm a dreamer with a bit of healer. My ex boyfriend was the thinker and closer.😊✌️
I think I would classify as Dreamer-Closer. I'm an ENFP in MBTI and I definitely have this funny, creative side, but I also get stuff done. The older I am the more I tap into my inner achiever. I'm currently a manager in marketing. 😀 I get impatient with people. I have a tendency to hide my vulnerabilities and look capable and "perfect" even though I greatly value authenticity, so that's a struggle. Inside, I'm super sensitive. That helps me to be less direct. I usually think before I criticize and try to be gentle. But my own personalities do clash a little, I'm torn between doing what's fun and the need to climb mountains and be effective. And the need to stop doing what I don't enjoy anymore and the need to look capable and trustworthy.
I've only had one serious relationship and that was with a Thinker and it did feel like we were opposites and his lack of warmth and showing emotions was both making me feel secure and driving me crazy, depending on the situation.
Really looking forward to this series. My wife and I are very different in a lot of ways and yeah we struggle sometimes, tbh, so I look forward to some pro tips, shall we say.
wow thank you for this video i have always known i was a healer however i also have very strong closer traits and my husband is a thinker with very strong dreamer traits i didn't know about the different personality types i will be watching more of your videos!
Imma healers and dreamers ;-; with depression, struggling everyday to keep going in daily live
Would love to see a video or more resources on the briefly-mentioned Divergent personality type! I think I might be one...
Thinker Healer over here!!!
I resonate equally with all 4 I think XD What to dooo. I'm supposedly Slytherin (lol) but always type as one of the diplomats in Myers Briggs.
Oh my gosh, it sounds like my husband is a dreamer/closer and I am a healer/thinker 😂
Makes sense why I vibe with Jono so much! I too am a dreamer and a healer! I would say my husband is too! I think he’s more dreamer but I can’t figure out what’s dominant for me. I’m pretty equally both I think 🤔 Alicia, you are definitely not alone as a female with a closer-thinker personality! You described my mother to a T!! My mom is more dominantly a closer but she’s for sure got some thinker! The way you described having mountain to climb made me laugh because that is SOOOOOOOO my mom!! She has 3 jobs and I do think she does them for the money but I low-key think it’s also because she thrives on being busy! But it’s true about the bulldozing. I really don’t think she meant to be that way to us growing up but it was hard for her to just let us learn things sometimes and she would take over a lot. I think this why as a 31-year-old now that I’ve had a huge drive to be more independent in my adult years because I feel like my mom did almost too much for me sometimes. I do love her so much though and despite what I said, she still feels like a perfect person to me ❤❤❤
It’s it possible to be both a closer and healer, because I take both routes and identify with every characteristic of both. I was raised by closers so it’s a big part of how I function but I think I’m also a healer due to being raised by closers. I hope this makes sense.