ALAIN DE BOTTON: WE LOOK FOR FAMILIARITY NOT HAPPINESS IN RELATIONSHIPS

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  • Опубликовано: 22 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 241

  • @hayattMD
    @hayattMD 2 месяца назад +477

    I am a simple woman, I see Alain I CLICK.

  • @natashawilson1687
    @natashawilson1687 Месяц назад +109

    I want to give Alain a hug. He makes me feel normal.

  • @gimptoast
    @gimptoast 2 месяца назад +437

    The snippet on IG I seen about bad childhoods was painfully true, very excited to give this a listen.

  • @fridabocanegra3259
    @fridabocanegra3259 2 месяца назад +186

    Jamie really took the opportunity to ask sincere, genuine, almost childlike questions, it’s nice to see someone openly asking “what does love mean?” instead of going for a more pretentious or over complicated question. Both Jamies question and Alain’s openness and willingness to talk about absolutely anything make for such a nice conversation. Great Company really honoring it’s name here

  • @tgnome5164
    @tgnome5164 2 месяца назад +155

    His voice is insanely comforting. I always have the time to listen to Alain 😇

    • @Raeuberbande
      @Raeuberbande 17 дней назад

      Its his warm tone, clean pronunciation and verbiage😊❤ feels trustworthy

  • @jinkim23
    @jinkim23 Месяц назад +42

    "Romantic relationships are kind of a litmus test of our emotional development...they are also a way your past catches up with the present because the way in which we love as adults owes a huge amount to ways in which we experienced love as children."
    Absolutely brilliant!

  • @sarah9171
    @sarah9171 2 месяца назад +171

    Hahahah I’m needing to pause this every 10 minutes to properly think about what this smart gentleman has to say. Great pod!

    • @magialukhava1921
      @magialukhava1921 2 месяца назад +2

      Alain de Botton blows my mind

    • @ayuminor
      @ayuminor Месяц назад +1

      Since I've read his books it's really sunk in how every question he answers in these interviews he's already thought weeks about and formulated answers at various levels of depth and brevity. The brief pause (when there is any) before answering is probably moreso him thinking about which answer he should give this particular person in this particular situation, rather than the question itself haha

    • @heathermcvey9660
      @heathermcvey9660 Месяц назад

      If you're pausing to think about what is being said that shows you're very smart.

    • @irmadudley9702
      @irmadudley9702 Месяц назад

      Just so juicy to listen to …his answers to the ten questions just make me smile and wonder how it is that he is so sharp!

    • @KirstineTermansen-cq9tk
      @KirstineTermansen-cq9tk Месяц назад

      ❤ i needed more

  • @weston.weston
    @weston.weston Месяц назад +15

    Alain's work has brought so much healing and comfort to humanity.

  • @sandrea26France
    @sandrea26France 24 дня назад +6

    Being able to hear Alain speak for free is the biggest gift RUclips has to offer. Thank you for this content ❤

  • @parirs5816
    @parirs5816 29 дней назад +4

    Alain shouldnt take for granted. He is the best the most sincere humain out there

  • @TheIvanabojanic
    @TheIvanabojanic 2 месяца назад +33

    Alain is the greatest thinker of out time.

  • @canadianhappyinitalytruest6556
    @canadianhappyinitalytruest6556 Месяц назад +24

    SO RELIEVED to find a podcast who asks simple meaningful questions to get the most out of his guest! I’m sick to death of the Huberman and Rich Roll crowd, ugh! Thank you!!!!

  • @Visdemhvemduer
    @Visdemhvemduer 2 месяца назад +48

    I left Thailand for France about 12 years ago in search of extraordinary things. But surprisingly living in France, the struggle and the hardship have taught me what it means to be happy with being ordinary. Most people who have lived extraordinary lives is like opening a Pandora’s box, and often wondered, will I ever be satisfied with simple mundane things in life, the answer lies in the mindset and it’s no different from quitting smoking.

    • @Julesyoutoo
      @Julesyoutoo 2 месяца назад +1

      @Visdemhvemduer Loving that perspective. Thank you.

  • @DarylBaboulisGyscek
    @DarylBaboulisGyscek 2 месяца назад +52

    listening to Alain for years and years via School of Life now - for the past two years I've been in EMDR therapy and having him as my "wise figure" (iykyk) has really given a voice to my inner wisdom to reach, comfort and inform past traumas

  • @amandajephson9964
    @amandajephson9964 25 дней назад +4

    I have anxiety and depression and De Botton's description of runaway feelings and not being able to put pauses between the thoughts are spot on! It is like unravelling...Controlled breathing is a helpful way to put the brakes on...🤚😸

  • @LadySanders73
    @LadySanders73 2 месяца назад +30

    I went to the physical School of Life in London (before it went more digital) and the seminars were fantastic. I learnt so much and it was wonderful to have these type of conversations with others. The beauty of self examination and understanding others. Here for it, love this episode ❤

  • @andreiafernandes8719
    @andreiafernandes8719 29 дней назад +3

    Gotta say, i have been following Alain for a lot of years now and i love to hear him talk, but i do have to compliment the host - great segway questions and quick reactions. Love that.

  • @drebugsita
    @drebugsita 2 месяца назад +25

    “Love is correct attunement” what an incredible statement and explanation of it 💕👏👏👏

  • @c.t5136
    @c.t5136 Месяц назад +5

    Alain's School of Life has assisted my journey through life; my thoughts, questions, feelings, ambiguities... I love his videos and they make me cry in a very therapeutic way, sometimes and laugh, sometimes. They nail it in a few minutes and in the privacy of your home. Thank Alain, and team. I hope that you know how much your output is valued. Please keep it up. Could you help those of us with CPTSD and PTSD, help for this is scarce and we would really appreciate anything that you could offer. Thank you.

  • @ayuminor
    @ayuminor Месяц назад +3

    Love the bit about mental ill health being things "normal" people can relate to, just without the brakes on, as he puts it. Makes it so much more relatable from the outside and it's totally what it feels like from the inside.
    Also trying out putting pauses between thoughts (with focussing on breath for a bit) really helped me think through anxiety and irrational thoughts.

  • @Dumbpuppet101
    @Dumbpuppet101 2 месяца назад +37

    this is the best episode by far! it felt like a therapy session for both you AND me 🤣 i could listen to alain for hours! thanks for introducing me to him & putting this out there jamie & co 💗

  • @linoyavisar8767
    @linoyavisar8767 2 месяца назад +17

    After watching for 10minutes I knew I want to watch it all over again and kept on enjoying till the last second ❤

  • @momogutierez7333
    @momogutierez7333 2 месяца назад +39

    This just introduced me to Alain De Botton. I need to get into his stuff after this hes very insightful and introspective.

    • @magialukhava1921
      @magialukhava1921 2 месяца назад +1

      I guarantee you you are going to love his stuff. Such a brilliant man.

    • @magialukhava1921
      @magialukhava1921 2 месяца назад

      I can guarantee you that you are gonna love his work. Such a brilliant man!

    • @perimetrfilms
      @perimetrfilms Месяц назад

      He is like all these psychologist and psychiatrist types living in his own class bubble, within England. The ideas he gives are Freudian in nature thus very flawed scientificallt. He has a voice that is extremely convincing. He uses these "theories" all faulty, lacking hard scientific data or even methodology. His ideas are more like a kaleidoscope of concepts and he thinks everyone is a broken individual to help the therapists gain wealth. Let's stick this fool in Eritrea or a trench in Ukraine and then ask him about his theories! Heartbreakers are the least of the worlds problem.

    • @sophie4636
      @sophie4636 19 дней назад

      Buy his earliest books to start. He was the best young philosopher of our time. Digital has given him a wonderful platform, so you have so many wonderful things to listen to as well 🎉

  • @andy_ppp
    @andy_ppp 2 месяца назад +14

    I could have listened to that for 5 hours. Incredible ❤

  • @nurveelanie1942
    @nurveelanie1942 2 месяца назад +10

    what an experience ! usually listen to true crime podcasts and never wanted to listen to podcasts that talks about life but i saw a clip on tiktok about how the funniest people comes from an unhappy background. This automatically caught my attention, immediately run to youtube to find the video 😂 and i love every second of this podcast, so touching and this was just incredibly therapeutic. ❤

    • @famalam943
      @famalam943 2 месяца назад

      Alain is great. I suggest looking up his talks on RUclips he has some great ones. Even his TED, (which teds are normally ‘meh’) but it’s a good intro to his work.

  • @lindaw.5836
    @lindaw.5836 2 месяца назад +14

    Talking about differing lengths of time, that hour was the fastest hour that has gone by for a very, very long time! Very enjoyable!

  • @danielaiorga9851
    @danielaiorga9851 Месяц назад +1

    I`m watching Alain De Botton for the first time. What a lovely man! couldn`t help but smile.

  • @Urban57621
    @Urban57621 2 месяца назад +10

    This was the most beautiful thing I have heard in a while. It was like psychotherapy/talk therapy in itself!

  • @epicminecraft4143
    @epicminecraft4143 Месяц назад +2

    I've been blown away already for the first 20 minutes...
    Such privilege to listen to this podcast 👍

  • @sayurismith1259
    @sayurismith1259 Месяц назад +4

    This is one of the most important RUclips videos I have ever seen. All meat. No fat. Not a wasted second. I am a new subscriber!🎉 Aweeeesome, insightful, deep, honest and wise conversation!❤

  • @TommyMedal
    @TommyMedal Месяц назад +4

    This was incredible. I've seen several videos from Alain, but this one connected with me the most

  • @tvismyonlyfriend
    @tvismyonlyfriend Месяц назад +2

    I really needed to listen to this rather then seek more therapy this is honest enough account for me to take something from. ❤

  • @teddy11859
    @teddy11859 2 месяца назад +15

    "What is the meaning of life?" Wow what a start I definitely expected that!!

  • @renatasuerth
    @renatasuerth Месяц назад +3

    It’s kindness that undoes us (in heartbreak) 😢😢😢 yup

  • @Julesyoutoo
    @Julesyoutoo 2 месяца назад +2

    Our Mr Alain and our Mr Laing! What a combo.
    Thank you SO very much for this top-drawer collaboration.

  • @sarahhalawa5926
    @sarahhalawa5926 Месяц назад +2

    Alain is my all time celebrity crush, nothing can change that

  • @saram.5808
    @saram.5808 2 месяца назад +3

    This was incredibly good. No words! Alain de Botton is undoubtedly in service of humanity.

  • @vaishalivaidya7978
    @vaishalivaidya7978 2 месяца назад +5

    Would love to see Alan, Dr. Gabor Mate and Dr.Shefali Tsabary together talking about the backdrops that provides into insights into what makes us today.

  • @kristeneglinton6378
    @kristeneglinton6378 27 дней назад

    It resonated with me completely. I had a small awakening recently brought about from illness and overworking (and had a migraine too!). It made me realize I need to work smarter, center and understand my own needs, and clean up my environment (on all levels!) to find peace and stillness. Thank you Baba, you’re incredible ❤

  • @michelekurlan2580
    @michelekurlan2580 19 дней назад

    LUV the wall art behind the host. Luv the color scheme , the way they are set apart, theme and simplicity.
    Brilliant interview going both ways.
    Alain always challenges others to wade into the deep end from time to time.
    The occassional laughter in the background is delighful and highlights the inanity of life on this planet.

  • @RedRumble14
    @RedRumble14 21 день назад

    Glad there is something new with Alain. Its been 5 years since ive found out about his stuff and he shaped my view on love in many ways!

  • @trumpet235
    @trumpet235 Месяц назад +1

    Ahhhh Alain is sooooooo good and your questions are brilliant! Thank you thank you thank you

  • @TouristsRUs
    @TouristsRUs 2 месяца назад +3

    Yessss Jamie what a guest and what a conversation!! More like this please.

  • @PrimaDewi
    @PrimaDewi 2 месяца назад +3

    Favorite ❤❤ I've been watching The School of Life videos for two years now. I've been reading their books too. It's a game changer, everyone.

  • @sosoaseel786
    @sosoaseel786 2 месяца назад +11

    This gonna make me re-think alot of things

  • @Morale_Booster
    @Morale_Booster 2 месяца назад +4

    Pure nourishment for my soul 💛 thank you so much!!! Have a great day everyone

  • @strizh-ov6mt
    @strizh-ov6mt Месяц назад +1

    This conversation will stay with me for a long time 🫢

  • @nataliaderkach
    @nataliaderkach 2 месяца назад +2

    Alain de Botton is a treasure ❤️

  • @Safi-Dee
    @Safi-Dee 2 месяца назад +4

    My Grandad was a very intelligent, talented surgeon who spoke 5 languages and had a go to saying that encapsulated that Seneca quote pretty perfectly. "It's all f**k". He said it daily and drummed it into my head since I was old enough to speak. 😂

  • @ihaiangata7492
    @ihaiangata7492 Месяц назад +1

    Good chat, great podcast! Alain is so deep and generous

  • @Pogmothoin17
    @Pogmothoin17 Месяц назад +2

    I have enjoyed this episode so much. The transparency of the host in his reactions is refreshing and I feel like I’m in the journey of the conversation with him. Alain, as usual, is fantastic and a true modern day philosopher.

  • @Mannnae
    @Mannnae Месяц назад +1

    One of the best interviews I have ever heard. Thank you both! ❤

  • @sharonlsmith7912
    @sharonlsmith7912 2 месяца назад +5

    This was utterly compelling viewing…. Brilliant

  • @claramb3807
    @claramb3807 Месяц назад +1

    This is one of the best podcast episodes I’ve seen in a while. Interesting, well spoken, easy to listen to. Congratulations guys!

  • @222littlecat
    @222littlecat 2 месяца назад +3

    Oh wow haven’t seen Alain de Botton’s interview for awhile !!! Love this conversation ❤thank you

  • @monicabustamante5540
    @monicabustamante5540 21 день назад

    This is the best podcast i’ve ever listened to so far! It blew my mind.

  • @nathalieandparis
    @nathalieandparis Месяц назад

    Alain is just the best!!! Love his take on life. I could listen to him for hours - so off to The School of Life I go…Such a brilliant man!

  • @Lifestylemama
    @Lifestylemama Месяц назад +1

    Wow! So many insights! This is one of the best interviews I have listened to in a while...

  • @TheTalkWithSherr_
    @TheTalkWithSherr_ 2 месяца назад +5

    I appreciate your platform, thank you for bringing your idea to fruition. I’m from Jamaica . Can you imagine you had kept your podcast as just a thought. Stay blessed, keep going even when the darkness of the night presents itself. God bless you

  • @sundaylass6828
    @sundaylass6828 2 месяца назад +4

    Love Alain & The school of life! Thoroughly enjoyed this pod 😍

  • @drebugsita
    @drebugsita 2 месяца назад +10

    I think it’s a misnomer to say we aren’t trying to be happy we are looking for familiarity. Consciously we are absolutely looking to be happy, but we do not have the tools beyond what we are familiar with, which creates a large chasm for those we grew up with emotionally immature caregivers

  • @rosmurray1952
    @rosmurray1952 Месяц назад

    Fantastic conversation with the amazing Alain de Botón! Thank you Jamie! My kids ( now adults) made me watch you on Made in Chelsea years ago. You were great then and now even better on this podcast! Congrats 😂

  • @victoriaheleen3243
    @victoriaheleen3243 2 месяца назад +2

    This guy just confirmed so many things how i have changed my life with self practices❤thank you! Amazing session!

  • @Nerdyrockstar1313
    @Nerdyrockstar1313 2 месяца назад +3

    A lot of the things you spoke about I kind of figured out intuitively ove the years of dealing with all sorts of people, but it’s always great to hear them broken down and explained properly from a scientific perspective. Great podcast.

  • @MariaBanholzer
    @MariaBanholzer 26 дней назад

    Nice to see you again!!!
    💖🧡💙💚🩵♥️🧡from Maria, South of France

  • @benjamincjholmes
    @benjamincjholmes Месяц назад +1

    Alain could never fail to brighten my day. Thank you for this interview with him!

  • @nvverbeyours3724
    @nvverbeyours3724 2 месяца назад +5

    Wowww! That was an amazing experience. Thank you so much ❤️

  • @loppan4534
    @loppan4534 2 месяца назад +4

    Great interview. Alain is the best. The host did a great job as well 👏

  • @Joanna7428
    @Joanna7428 Месяц назад

    Ive listened to Alain for years now, he always grabs my attention and this was no different, great conversation, thankyou!

  • @inspiringthroughhushtoroar1368
    @inspiringthroughhushtoroar1368 Месяц назад

    I looooved that question!!!! "What do I give her" ?
    I have the same question because after my trauma healing I now gave a whole and none trauma partner who is soon comfortable 💗 with himself. I say he reveals who I am. I also think that your wife has much less adverse experiences.
    I learn from him to see if I still have needy behaviours that I need to heal from and not jump to say he has not got enough empathy. He respects me a lot. Our love languages are different.

  • @ourhealingvoice
    @ourhealingvoice 2 месяца назад +3

    I cannot type enough hearts on this comment Jamie, Thank you ...This mans work is so important to all of us and important to the education of the Worlds problems ...❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @senthilvadivuk
    @senthilvadivuk 2 месяца назад +2

    one of the greatest conversation, I had listened to in many years, so much depth and clarity and thought provoking. thanks for sharing this with us.

  • @mariselamoreno5787
    @mariselamoreno5787 29 дней назад

    I loved the honesty, wonderful interview! 👍

  • @Sarah-wp2ij
    @Sarah-wp2ij 2 месяца назад +7

    This was so interesting and so informative!! Loved it.

  • @jackson5love
    @jackson5love Месяц назад

    This man is my idol - love him so much! GREAT GUEST ❤❤❤

  • @silverygrey465
    @silverygrey465 Месяц назад

    Really enjoyed this chat.
    Always enjoy what Alain has to share about life! ❤

  • @sheering09
    @sheering09 2 месяца назад +7

    This is such a great and informative interview!

  • @Nicstarmoore
    @Nicstarmoore Месяц назад

    So much goodness in this chat. Alain is so, so good at articulating what we subconsciously know and feel but sometimes struggle to put into words.

  • @HettiedeKorteDiplomaat
    @HettiedeKorteDiplomaat Месяц назад +4

    I describe a depression as: mourning a person and that person is me. Like attending your own funeral.

  • @katlegonkaletse4529
    @katlegonkaletse4529 2 месяца назад +2

    Signing from South Africa... We need a part 2

  • @Usernamenotfound487
    @Usernamenotfound487 2 месяца назад

    One of my favorite person when it comes to human behaviour. So glad I came across this podcast.

  • @shinsonsebastian7342
    @shinsonsebastian7342 2 месяца назад

    Its always a pleasure to listen to Alain de Botton ❤

  • @dan.carreon
    @dan.carreon 2 месяца назад

    Listening to Alain has always been an absolute pleasure, amazing episode, thanks for this

  • @James-gf8es
    @James-gf8es 2 месяца назад

    holy... First person I have ever listened to that has actually improved my insight into others and myself.

  • @teaaayeeshas4163
    @teaaayeeshas4163 2 месяца назад

    Listening to conversations with Alain challenges you mentally and emotionally ❤ self Awareness is the best thing one could ever possess

  • @xuyennguyen7110
    @xuyennguyen7110 2 месяца назад

    Wow, this episode is so beautiful. It has all moments of laughing, crying, to eye-opening with wisdom. Thank you.

  • @AHeartLedLife
    @AHeartLedLife 2 месяца назад

    I find these kind of conversations SO comforting and I have so many 'Ah Ha' moments about myself and my family. Thank you :)

  • @allisonc9679
    @allisonc9679 2 месяца назад +1

    I’m so glad my FYP decided to show me this

  • @60greyhairandsparkles21
    @60greyhairandsparkles21 Месяц назад

    Wow I just found your channel and loved Alain, just brilliant. So comforting how he makes it completely ok to be flawed, yes!! I have to watch this again very soon. Oh and subscribed 🙏

  • @laurajuliadealtube
    @laurajuliadealtube Месяц назад

    amazing person, so much to take from this interview, thank you all.

  • @softbuns21
    @softbuns21 Месяц назад

    Wow, thank you so much for this! I absolutely LOVE Alain and found this so helpful ❤

  • @MariaBanholzer
    @MariaBanholzer 26 дней назад

    Sooooo interesting! Merci, thank you 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🫶💫

  • @bevturner2258
    @bevturner2258 2 месяца назад

    That was your best interview ever Jamie, well done!
    Interesting questions, thoughtfully answered. Such a treat to have Alain on your podcast. I’ve been a fan of his forever 😊

  • @AltheaJackson-yf2zp
    @AltheaJackson-yf2zp 2 месяца назад +1

    Love the podcast it gave me food for thought. Very relatable.

  • @cyberbird8683
    @cyberbird8683 Месяц назад

    Just 8 minutes and im amaze with so much wisedom. I need to pause the video 😅

  • @ainhoabenavente2630
    @ainhoabenavente2630 Месяц назад

    This was FANTASTIC!!

  • @vjimin7185
    @vjimin7185 2 месяца назад

    This was truly one of the best videos out there. Touched so many topics in such a simple and clear way
    Thank you so much

  • @TheJosiejumper
    @TheJosiejumper 2 месяца назад

    Love this totally describes me and my childhood and patterns abandoned at 13 and never really been able to have a relationship at 50 adhd finally getting help

  • @plopes930
    @plopes930 Месяц назад

    Alain has got me questioning myself with a side eye. I’m off to therapy 😂 brilliant video/podcast absolutely brilliant. Definitely eye opening and interesting conversation

  • @iknowgoodmusic6847
    @iknowgoodmusic6847 Месяц назад

    great questions! really enjoyed the interview.. more of this please!