“Childbirth Isn’t That Bad”
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- “Childbirth Isn’t That Bad” #holdon
During childbirth, the cervix gradually dilates, or opens, to allow the baby to pass through the birth canal. This dilation is a critical part of labor and occurs in stages, often causing increasing levels of pain as it progresses.
In the early stages, when the cervix is dilated between 1 to 4 centimeters, contractions are typically less intense, and the pain, while uncomfortable, is generally more manageable. As dilation increases to 5 to 7 centimeters, contractions become stronger, more frequent, and longer-lasting, leading to a significant increase in pain.
The final stage, from 8 to 10 centimeters, marks the transition phase, which is often the most painful part of labor. During this phase, the contractions are almost continuous, and the cervix is under intense pressure as it fully dilates to 10 centimeters, which can cause severe pain. The intensity of the pain is partly due to the stretching and thinning of the cervix, the pressure from the baby's head, and the body's release of hormones that intensify contractions.
#women #pregnant #pregnancy
My mom gave birth to both my sister and I in the bedroom we slept in our whole childhood. She didn't have insurance and asked the hospital how much it would be to have a birth out of pocket. In 1983, they told her $1100. So her and my father saved $1100 "just in case" but luckily, everything went great. So they used the money to buy a deep freezer. I am 41 and still use that freezer.
Amazing story ❤
Lol I love this so hard. Amazing. You have intelligent parents. We have overly medicalized so many natural processes.
My gf was born at home in Taiwan. Seems like a much more pleasant way to come into this world.
😂🤣
Bs
It's great when it goes well, and It's great that it worked out for your mom, but giving birth in hospitals is a big reason why it's no longer close to coin flip odds wether the woman lives or dies. The US still has higher maternal mortality rates than 'peer' nations, probably in large part because the high cost of going to a hospital in the US encourages people to take the risks of staying at home. It's safer for the baby too. There were complications during my birth. I was 2 months premature. The only reason I'm here (and my mom is still here) is she gave birth in a hospital. They were able to give her a C-section, and I spent the first month of my life in a NICU. I'm 31 now.
Imma be honest, 10cm still don't look like "lets fit a baby through that"
That's why it tears open the rest of the way and you have to get sewn up
@@zainabzolita8436 cervical tears are very rare in childbirth. You're thinking of the perineum. Unless a baby has an abnormally large head, the size of a cantaloupe is big enough for a baby to pass through.
@@zainabzolita8436 women don’t always tear. The skin stretches for a reason.
@@DeeDee-zu2pv Don't always.
But, from what I heard, tears are quite common...
even in places where there is no 30% Caesarian, and 20% episiotomy (medically controlled 3th/4th degree tears).
Every time I read about a woman who didn't tear up, it's like ..."wow, she/I didn't even tear up, not even first degree. How unbelievably lucky!!!".
I am having the impression that it's quite rare.
@@DeeDee-zu2pv I don't know anyone who hasn't
I had very bad cramps as a teenager. It made me afraid to give birth. When I had a baby, (no meds or epidural) the pain was equal to cramps I got during my period. I learned later this was not normal.
As someone with depression who thought I couldn't take care of myself when on my own, and a fellow woman, I am both grateful you didn't have to suffer more during your labor and so sorry that you had to bear that pain for so long only to realize that 1) it wasn't normal and 2) there may have been things that could be helped control that pain.
SAME
Same..
I found out my cramps were not normal during my IUD insertion. I had taken no medication and when she put it in I said I'm good. After a few days of intense cramps(the body dilates when you first put it in) I said it feels like a normal period. She was worried because it feel similar to contractions
I would actually be ok if the pain is only as bad as period cramps I’ve heard it’s way worse
Respect to all mothers, no matter how they choose to deliver their babies 🙏🏾
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
PERIOD.
To all mothers? Most females neglect their kids horribly, most females use that child to mentally abuse the father, most females use it as an advantage to leech off of the father, etc etc etc.
Exactly
1k likes!
Its also really important to remember that it'll feel different for everyone who gives birth as well! It could be less or more painful depending upon the person
💯💯💯!!! this!!!
Plus the position of the baby can affect the pain level as well.
@@The-Oneness11I think even the way you are allowed or not allowed to move during labour can change how much pain you realize.
I know I was in horrible pain when I gave birth, but some positions hurt worse than others.
My grandmother told me she had very little pain while delivering my mother at home.
@@jennyh4025 That's true.
The US also doesn't teach women enough about childbirth. You are put in a room and basically left alone until time to deliver. Different positions, different environments, and the right mind set can really help speed up labor and help with pain. I had a terrible experience, I felt like I was completely out of control with my body and felt like I was dying. After learning many techniques I was able to have a pain free labor and birth this last time around. Education really helps!
Agreed. Women's health is a department which is truly terrible. Lack of staff, lack of decent staff also and many other factors cause it to be horrible most of the time. Lack of staff tends to be why they don't tend to offer women pain medications during labour as an epidural then means that a mother has to be continually monitored. There have been so many cases where women are ignored, told that they don't need one, or worse: told that one is coming but the person hasn't actually bothered to ask.
It is not okay for a woman to be expected to fight for adequate pain relief during one of the most vulnerable times of her life. Plenty are unable to do so and have nobody accompanying them. Even if they do, that person may not be assertive enough to insist upon one.
I'm glad that you managed to find a technique that worked for you. It shows how brilliant the human mind can be. Sadly, I wasn't able to but the labours I had with proper pain relief were definitely the more pleasant experiences and definitely helped me to be able to bond with my baby much more easily.
This! ^^^
It's messed up how I've heard people in other countries who are like "what do you mean you have less bladder control after giving birth? They don't prepare you for it?!" Like WHAT??? TELL ME HOW YOU WERE PREPARED FOR IT
I think big pharma does it ntentionally so we will get the epidural. My doctor gave me pitocin to speed up my contractions even though she had another delivery in the next room at the same time. I was forced to wait while the baby was ready to come out and rhe nurses told me I shouldn’t push…of course I ended up asking for a last minute epidural/spinal tap 🙄
Look at how hospitals treat breastfeeding as well. They give the baby formula and pacifiers without your consent. They also do very little to educate you. I was told I couldn’t increase my milk supply more than about 15%…then I found out about fenugreek tea and that helped me so much!
Women need to inform themselves and not trust the industry. It’s sad. But true.
How Do they prepare them? My lasr pregnancy the dr actually cut my bladder. Ive never been then the same. Sucks😢@scottyb8392
I remember pushing for two hours with no progress because my daughter's head was too big to fit through my pelvis. The nurse made a disgusted face when the doctor recommended a C-section and I agreed. I guess she wanted me to push endlessly and that made me feel like a failure for years. I sincerely hope she's not practicing anymore. I later found out my blood pressure was spiking and my daughter's heart rate was dropping.
So sorry you had to deal with that behavior from her, and at the most vulnerable moment. Glad your doctor didn't share her mindset too and I hope you and your daughter are doing well now. I had something similar happen with a nurse who was yelling in my face in a very harsh way, at one point she said "You're not even trying" and rolled her eyes! it only caused me more stress. The pain already made me want to cry, but her shouting was what finally tipped me over the edge. My mother was watching and thankfully she was able to get that horrible nurse out of the room finally. I do not understand why that type of personality decides to become a nurse
@@MarieJesne I'm sorry you had to deal with that too, but I'm glad your mom was there to help. This same nurse that I'm talking about got in my face when I was pushing but at least she didn't roll her eyes. What is wrong with these people?! My daughter is almost 19 now, but it's something I'll never forget. I hope you and your child are doing well too!
Her response really depends on when this happened and "experienced"(aka age) she was. For there was an extremely large period, almost a century) when Dr's did everything they could to intervene. Often causing more problems or being completely unnecessary. Like when my Mom was born in the late 40's every baby was born almost using forceps, which often hurt the baby. In some cases the Dr's loved those things so much they kept them in special velvet cases! Mom herself was a forceps baby.....but in her case, it was needed because she did have a huge head. You read what they did to women right up to the 70's and it like no wonder they only had a couple children back then. So maybe she was leftover from a era where DRs did C Sections all the time just became because they could and would get the mother to go along because she just wanted the baby out.
Even my own Mom had 20 years of sadness because of the stupidity of the doctors.
That's honestly sad to hear. There is nothing wrong with c-sections and women shouldn't be or feel shamed to have them whether because of medical reasons or by choice! The goal is to get the baby out, safe and healthy. Who really cares by what means that happens?
@@gaylecarver1165 don't be ashamed. I was in labor for 24 hours. Pushed for 2 and a half hours because I had the same thing. I cried from frustration and told the doctor to get forcepts. Pull him out because we couldn't keep playing peek a boo. The forcepts and his head ripped me to a 3rd degree tear down stairs. They sewed me up almost forgetting to pull the rag out. Then the 3 days in the hospital and on the day I was to leave I asked them why I hadn't peed in 3 days and they were shocked because the nurse kept forcing me to drink water. The doctor had to knock me out and take me back to the emergency room and then she pulled a litre and a half of pee from my bladder. When I woke up she told me that I had to have a catheter for a few days. Told me to come back to her office. So I did and the nurse wanted me to self catheter me. I told her nope. I went to another hospital that same night and talked to another doctor where they put a new catheter in me for another week. When I went back they told me to stay in the room until I could pee on my own. I was there for 10+ hours. No catheter. Finally I was like well fuck it. Lied to them because I wasn't feeling good and went home. Then I could start to pee on my own. And it was hot in June 2013. No ac and taking care of my son. Now he is a big healthy 11 year old little boy. Never feel ashamed. ;) you are the best momma to your child/children.
Who even has the audacity to say childbirth isn’t that bad?
It’s HOURS of just endless pain.
is the orgasm really worthed?
@autumn557 but it does have an end. What's the baby pops out natural endorphins and all that kick in and you're basically pain-free and with the powers of the brain you forget all that pain and do it again.
@@ambergray6945 you don't forget the pain. Actually each time I've done it I've regretted it at the time because it was a lot of pain. I can describe how it felt to labour then give birth.
Edit: people seem to think I’m trying to speak for all women, so allow me to make this clear. Below is based purely on my experience. It does not invalidate other people’s negative experiences or trauma. All experiences are valid in my opinion. I simply disagree that all births are painful because mine was not.
Had a painkiller free childbirth. Water births helped in my case and can honestly say it was fine just taking calm breaths. Found the whole experience quite peaceful and serene. Was it comfortable, no. But it wasn’t painful.
Probably Men.
Remember that everyone's pregnancy experience is different.
Just because your kidney stones felt more painful than childbirth does not mean everyone will have a less painful birth than passing kidney stones. Some will have "easy" births, some will have very painful birth, and others will probably feel like they felt the worst pain in their life, so let's not invalidate someone's experience when they say that their childbirth experience was painful.
I mean, most women I’ve met with kidney stones say that they’re way worse.
My mom almost died in childbirth during a time where she couldn’t get an epidural and was not offered a C Section for some reason (early 70’s), like it came to “we can save baby or mom” talk with her mother and husband. Went on to give birth many more times (2 more live, 3 stillborn, idk if D&C from 3 miscarriages/whatever they do for a molar pregnancy count here)
My mom emphatically says kidney stones are way worse. I had a C Section with my daughter and I hope to god I never get kidney stones (probably won’t be that lucky since they run in the family), but my mom is pretty reliable on that end. Not all moms get kidney stones, they’re less common in women.
@@tisvana18 And that's fine, but I'm seeing some people use it as an excuse to invalidate women's pain when giving birth. We don't realistically know how painful it is for the individual
Thank you for saying this. Some people who have never given birth but have had kidney stones will claim they know how childbirth feels and/or have experienced worse pain. But that's an erroneous and disingenuous statement. You have no clue how other people have experienced something.
My husband had kidney stones and the only way I could see it being more painful is that the pain is constant, no mini-breaks like contractions, and can continue on longer than the average labor/delivery. Plus there's no "reward" (baby) and surge of oxytocin at the end. But that's just me speculating.
I haven’t had children but I assure you that kidney stones are monsters
@limiwa At the end you get a cool rock :D
Many women don’t know that relaxing during contractions, as difficult as that sounds, helps wonders. For my first child I didn’t listen to that advice and tensed up my stomach. I wanted pain relief after getting about 8 inches dilated but it was too late. I pushed him on my back and it was very painful. For my daughter I learned the importance of relaxing your stomach muscles during contractions and not delivering laying down. I relaxed my stomach and did deep breathing during contractions and it reduced pain about 85% no exaggeration. I asked about birthing standing up and was “permitted”. I did and I literally felt no pain. I almost felt nothing at all. It was like pushing out a slippery water balloon. I actually slowed down to reduce risk of tearing. I did three pushes but I believe I could’ve done 2 or even 1. It was about 5 minutes of pushing standing compared to my fist don’t laying on my back for an hour of delivery. My 3rd child was also far less painful than my 1st for labor. Only because I was relaxing my stomach. The third delivery was painful, but far less than the 1st. I was on my hands and knees for my last child.
Is there any reason you chose to switch from standing to hands and knees for the last delivery?
We did two epidural births and one completely natural my instinct was to be on all fours with the natural one. I used hypnobabies and the contractions were painful until a certain point and then I felt nothing. I did not feel him come out. Recovery was easiest but he was also my third.
Generally speaking, the first birth is the most difficult, with subsequent births being a lot easier. That's been the experience of myself, my sister-in-law, and all my friends who've had kids. The first was the worst.
@@zarasha8220 not necessary, my second was a lot worse by a mile and he was smaller. I think maybe it was a more stressful pregnancy on top of him being boney , my first was chubby and I lived with my grandma, stress free. I was married with my second and my husband was cruel. So it varies woman to woman.
My doctor forced me to give birth on my back. I think that’s why my tailbone broke.
❤ Sharing a very positive personal experience for reference. ❤
As a woman who receives epidural pain management 2-3 times a year for pain relief due to a horrible car accident in 1995, and continuing nerve and disk degenerative conditions since, I'd like to reassure folks that epidurals are relatively painless and worth it. It's a large pinch that lasts around 20-40 seconds. After that, it takes a bit of time for the medicine to work, but once it kicks in.... so much gratitude! Relief from pain is one of the GREATEST gifts of modern medicine.
Thank you for that description! I hate needles, so the idea of getting one in my spine is not my favourite lol. It's nice to hear what it actually feels like when you get one
I am glad it is comparatively painless fir you. I always experienced great pain after hypodermic needle injections. The "pinch" is quite painful. So I doubt I would be able to endure an epidural much less actual childbirth.
@@gemmeldrakes2758 People have different levels of pain tolerance, so yeah, what works for someone doesn't necessarily work for you, then only way of knowing it is to experience it.
I suffered from an epidural injury and had severe pain for 4 months after delivering my son. Never again...
Thanks for sharing. I think the women who try & shame mothers for having epidurals are just evil. They act like it’s the same as a parent giving a pain pain pills off the street or cocaine or something. They talk about how the baby is high for days & it stunts the baby’s development & can even lower the child’s intelligence, but they still aren’t as horrible as the breastfeeding nazis.
I greatly admire the brave women who put themselves through this shit. I tell that to my mom all the time. Even though she had a c-section for me, the pregnancy leading up to birth also sounds incredibly hard. I'm pretty secure in my decision to never procreate because I don't think I could handle it. Someday in the far future, if I'm financially and emotionally stable enough, I'd be happy to take in a child/baby that someone else made. I will love it just like I would love my own flesh and blood. ❤
This is one of the reasons I don't ever want to get pregnant or give birth. If I become a mom it will be through adoption or being a stepmom, however I will love that child/those children just as much because I do not care about blood relation
This is actually the least selfish option, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Kudos!
You’ll never actually know if it’s “just as much”, but that’s actually better for a step kid, so, good on you
@@rachel4339we do know we would love them just as much, that’s why we aren’t birthing. Your commentary is unnecessary and gives a vibe of elitism
There are so many evil selfish people having kids and letting them down. I don’t have to suffer a million physical transformations AND i can still love a child? Give me the children whose families have rejected them. I will absolutely make up the difference.
@@thaloblue I mean, you know in the same sense that you believe it to be true, and I get that. We all think we “know” how we would feel in hypothetical scenarios that we’ve never been in, but factually speaking those are beliefs, not knowledge. Regardless, I think it’s *better* for step/adopted kids to have parents who *don’t* have biological children, as I said, so good on you for being willing to take on a role like that. Idk how any of that implies I’m elitist lol but ok 👍
Women are incredible! Mothers are amazing!
I'm good at enduring, less good at achieving. I feel like I was mostly there for the ride, the baby is going to come out wether you want it or not. (The faster the better) I'll take your compliment with a grain of salt 😅
Not if they need to avoid the normal pain of birthing their child. It's sad commentary on modern Western women.
@@naelyneurkopfen9741 it's not because the pain is normal that it should be tolerated without pain meds
@@naelyneurkopfen9741 smh I bet you take meds for your headaches and whatever “condition” the doctor says you have too. The fall of western men
@@naelyneurkopfen9741 You would probably "need" to avoid any "normal pain" you anticipate from any procedure, you dumb misogynist.
The more I learn about pregnancy, the more sure that I am that I want absolutely no part in motherhood.
Edit: Get out of my womb, I'm not having kids. End of.
Run.
It might suck but it’s also a small sacrifice compared to the love you’ll have for the rest of ur life 😊❤ but ya…. Everytime someone tells me something horrifying I dread the process more 😢 it’s good to remember that not everyone goes thro all the horrid stuff- my mother legit loved being pregnant (AND she had me at 37), and she didn’t think birth was that bad so there is hope!!
Get a birth doula. Makes things so much better! And remember that it’s one day of labor for a lifetime of joy.
As for me, the pregnancy journey was much tougher than the birthing process.
Just me a dog mom
There is never going to be a time when my cervix has dilates to anything beyond one centimeter. I could never do that I could never handle that kind of pain and I would be so messed up from it that I wouldn't even be able to take care of the baby so it's just not going to happen.😢 I cannot imagine sacrificing my own body in that way. The thought actually makes me physically ill.
That’s selfish imo, also is a fact that women forget the pain of childbirth a chemical in the brain is released to make you forget it
Because otherwise, who, in the right mind would have another child, knowing the type of pain they went through , but we don’t get to remember it and we get to continue the human race and our family line but for me there are greater things than just these reasons as person of faith/a Muslim I wanna leave behind pious good kids who continue on doing good deeds while I’m long gone and remember me /continuous charity
@unknownoblivion2417
Please respect another person's choice about giving birth/having biological children. This person knows it ahead of time and can take steps to ensure that they will never become pregnant. If you want to make babies that's up to you. Not everyone on the planet needs to procreate to ensure the survival of the human species.
@unknownoblivion2417 SHE BEING REAL. ATLEAST SHE NOT HAVING IT THEN THROWING IT AWAY.SHE MAKING THE DECISIONS TO SAY SHE CANT HANDLE IT. PERIOD. SHE HAS A CHOICE. NOT TO💯
I'm a mom. Your feelings are valid. It isn't an easy thing to go through, and no one should ever go through pregnancy and labor without knowing for sure that's what they absolutely want to do. Ignore the negative comment someone else left, you're not selfish. You're realistic, able to choose, and making the choice that is best for you
I feel the same way. I want a baby one day, but giving birth sickens me. I don't want to do that.
Just like men, who sit and say "I WANT A KID" but don't go through any of the horrors
Without an epidural I don't think I would've survived. I don't know how people do it without one honestly they are super heros
Not always by choice, i did it twice. By the time I got to the hospital I was to far a long to have one. Luckily with both mine they each were born within 15 minutes of arriving at the hospital
I had quick (4-5 hours) with all three of mine, they refused to give me an epidural. I had to soldier on with shitty pethidine and gas and air. My last one was a water birth though and I would wholeheartedly recommend that method. Minimal intervention, your body just gets on with it. I only had to get out the pool to deliver the placenta.
First bun a I had gas second didn’t make it to the hospital with enough time for anything
Honestly without the epidural absolutely does suck, BUT the level of focus felt once it's time to push is insane. I went from screaming crying mess to silent sharp and focused in a matter of seconds and that baby was put in 9 pushes 😅 that was also my 4th baby though so my body knew what to do by then
I did my first two births with an epidural. With my third I knew he would be last and desperately didn't want to be stuck in bed with an epidural. I did it with just gas and air, and I've never felt so much pride or joy that I was able to do it. I honestly felt like I could conquer the world for days after lol
This entire video almost made me cry just _imagining_ the pain. No thanks, I'll have my baby delivered via stork.
Top tier comment right here, like no thanks, gimme the fairy tail version where i get a little bundle of joy delivered to my door
That explains why when I had a miscarriage, it felt like the worst period cramps I’d ever had.
I'm so sorry for your loss 🩷
I had something similar
When I miscarried, I kept having back pain, which I don't usually get during my period. But I remember talking to my mom before it happened, and she basically said that she realized later I was describing labor pain
Now, with every period I get, that back pain comes back. It's almost like my whole body changed
@@PinkDappleleaf It might be worth looking into that from a psychology perspective. Could be that your body still holds trauma from that miscarriage, which would be very understandable to my mind. Maybe look into Somatic Experiencing, that could be a somewhat simple solution because they work with the body to help you heal the trauma, instead of focusing on the mind and you having to talk about it which happens in most other therapies.
That's how my mom described hers (she had seven before I was born)
I am Sorry that happened to you.
I had a 9 pound baby with absolutely zero drugs. (Not by choice, I waited too long and anesthesiologist went home for the night). When I got to the hospital, I was 9.5 cm. 😳 it hurt as bad as you’re imagining.
@@lifesyphon1 I can relate I did the same thing. I didn't want to spend the day in the hospital all of the other births were painfully slow (3 children) luckily a nurse spotted me and scooped me into a wheelchair I just had enough time to get into the bed and my 11.7 lb daughter entered the world. The woman at the registration desk wasn't pleased when the nurse ran past her pushing me in the chair but I still laugh about it. Cheers 🥂 momma
Kidney stones were far worse for me than naturally delivering a 10lb 7oz baby 😅
I had a female teacher with 4 kids who said that passing stones is the worse pain she's ever experienced. She would rather give birth. So I absolutely believe you. I haven't done either, I can't even imagine the pain.
I've heard this many many times
The kidney stones have rough edges and were coming out of a tube that can't expand, so yeah
I've never given birth, but I was power puking from a kidney stone and peeing pure blood. It took me three weeks to pass it.
Different for everyone. I had an ectopic pregnancy, and the pain was worse than giving birth to my second child. My first child was more painful than the ectopic. Some births are easy. Some are so painful, theyre traumatic. You really can't judge what it will be.
i will never understand the obsession over/glorification of going through childbirth with no pain medication. like, obviously people can do whatever they want but it's frankly just weird how gung ho some are about feeling all that pain and how so many will judge anyone who does choose to go the pain management route.
Same here.
I don't want epidural because when I was in my early 20s , a girl I worked with who was the same age had to walk with a walking stick for the rest of her life because they performed the epidural incorrectly. 😥😥😥
I agree, we are so lucky to live in a time with so much to help us through childbirth. There's still plenty of pain and exhaustion even with an epidural.
.The way that they tell their Critics to "Touch Grass" , or some other Calming Trip, tells Me that they are saying *I Already Know Everything I Need To about CHILDBIRTH!* Now watch Me Do It like a *CHAMPION* !
That is setting the Bar a little High, don't you think?
@monzorella1 there are risks to everything but the entire process of child birth is a huge risk. Millions of women have epidurals safely every year.
@@Ari_C there is no glorification in it, I went without pain meds 6 times, but I have a different pain tolerance then some. So there fore for me I didn't feel the pain. The glorification comes in when the baby is born and is healthy. In my personal opinion, one must know their body well enough to determine on how much pain she can handle unless it's a c section then that a whole different case.
3 children birthed without epidural. I’m turning 70 in 3 days, so back when I gave birth it was called a “saddle block”. I was more afraid of the doc putting a needle into my spinal cord than I was of the discomfort of child birth. Yup…it got crazy intense. But I made it through just fine. Thank you God for my healthy & wonderful children (now adults of course). 🙏😇👏❤️
♥️♥️♥️👍🏻🥰
❤❤❤❤
@pamelaphelan4144 A saddle block (more technically called a pudendal block) is a different thing from an epidural. It's more like "a needle in the vagina," not the spine. It doesn't generally help with the pain of contractions, and is more used for things like episiotomies, instrumental deliveries and suturing tears. (If an epidural isn't in place for those.)
I'm literally more scared of a needle going into my spine. No kids yet.
I did mine without epidurals too. And yeah… 24th a of back labor each delivery was not fun, but way better than having someone stick a huge needle where I can’t see in a small cavity where I could potentially not have it work anyhow… I’ll just be extremely uncomfortable, thanks!!
I had no stretch marks on my stomach until after the actual birth, baby's head was too big, it had never coned and was perfectly formed already, and the doctor was still with his last patient, took so long for the doctor to do an appesiotomy (idk how to spell it, they snipped the skin to give his head more room), it caused horrific scarring to my belly, vaginal area, and inner thighs. I was under heavy pain meds AND an epidural and could literally FEEL him ripping his way out. Worth it tho, ended up with the coolest kid lol
How did it cause scarring to your inner thighs??
@@Platymapuss well you see, baby's head wasn't coned, so it stretched me further than it was supposed to, the stress of that stretching tore up the skin of my inner thighs closest to the hoohaa, if the doctor hadnt gotten to me in time to cut the skin btween the hoohaa and booty, baby would have literally ripped his way out. That does tend to scar a gal lol
@apollomommy7364 I'm so glad you're happy ❤
I don't think I'll let myself go through that, though 😭
I hate the argument that "hitting your balls is worse than child birth because nobody asks for a second hit" because women KNOW it's painful, but they go through it because of their *kids.* even then, some women don't *because* of the pain.
If getting hit in the balls SOMEHOW resulted in childbirth, I'm sure there would be some men who, rightfully, refuse to go through it, but others will go through it because it results in kids, JUST LIKE WOMEN ALREADY DO 😭
I had such bad back labor the actual pushing felt good, like relief. I had an epidural and neither time worked fully. Back labor is awful
Wait what?!? I have had an episiotomy with every delivery. Like that’s not even close to your belly or inner thighs. Not at all being rude but that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. The episiotomy also doesn’t really cause scarring extremely minimal if at all. Like I’ve had 4 and you can’t tell at all. I also had a second degree tear with 1st baby but it healed perfectly. I’ve had to deal with stitches every time and they heal beautifully. Are you sure you had an episiotomy and nothing else?!? It would not affect your belly or thighs. Now when you skin is stretched tight you might not notice stretch marks until after delivery. I don’t have so I don’t think that would be from an episiotomy personally because I’ve had 4 of them.
Women’s need for analgesia in labour varies widely. The most important thing is to be open minded and flexible as situations can change quickly. There are lots of analgesic options available, or none at all if you prefer.
Sadly, plenty women need to be rather insistent about receiving proper pain relief as so many times they try to talk mothers out of it which is wrong. At one of the most vulnerable times, it shouldn't be that way at all.
@@RedFairyWoodspain relief does not trump safety of the baby. You should do some research on the downside of epidural during labor and it would change your perspective. Women have been giving birth since the beginning of time with no pain relief. Going through it changes a woman's brain for the good. It's supposed to happen. My son nearly died during labor and a c section was necessary. If i had an epidural, i wouldn't have been able to give the doctor the information she was asking for. He had flipped and i felt it. His heartrate dropped and would not come back up. His umbilical cord was choking him. Ask any woman that has lost her baby during childbirth, if they would give up pain relief just to have their baby. Epidurals can slow labor and put the baby in distress and danger at times. If you can't feel that something is wrong, it can be very dangerous for the baby. It all depends on the circumstances. If people are being talked out of it, it's probably for a reason.
@Taushathetech I am genuinely sorry about what nearly happened to your son. I know exactly how traumatic such an event actually is. An emergency c-section is supposed to be carried out when there are issues with the baby's heartbeat. I don't think that you are aware but the baby's heartbeat is monitored continually during labour when an epidural is used. This is one of the reasons why so many women are having to fight in order to actually receive adequate pain relief which they require ~ a complete lack of staff in order to be in the room. There are countless reports widely available on Google (I'm surprised that you have not actually read any as it has been widely publicised) that women are denied due to this fact.
It is also very well-known that females do tend to be automatically disbelieved by countless medical professionals when it comes to stating that they are indeed, in excruciating pain. Talk to anyone with a chronic pain condition and they would be happy to tell you the same. A quick look online also would inform you as would having a quick glance at many various comment sections on here, for example.
Child loss is the most horrendous thing that can happen to a mother but you stating that and giving up pain relief is very much reading as though you are attempting to draw a link between the two. That is the ultimate scare tactic indeed. It is also really not beneficial for anyone. Of course, a mother who has lost her baby would give up absolutely anything to have her baby back. But that is moving onto another subject altogether entirely. Pain relief during delivery is not the devil.
As for your claim that women have been giving birth since the beginning of time etc etc does the same apply to other advances with medical science? Or does it only suit you when you are attempting to push a certain narrative? Mothers give birth the way in which is best for them. So there is no need for any ridiculous wannabe competition vibes.
Birth trauma is a real thing. Which also happens to actually change the way in which someone's brain works.
Anyone reading your comment who is currently pregnant could easily become incredibly concerned by what you have said. That is not okay to do. A consultant would have performed an emergency c-section on you regardless of whether you had had an epidural or not due to the changes in the baby's heartrate. I really do not see why there is such a big issue for some people whether someone happens to have pain medication during the birthing process or not. Far too much competition which is really quite similar also with regards to breastfeeding, first steps, first words and so on. There is no need for it at all. All that matters is that the mother does what is best for her ~ not what other people keep making a competition about. I would also add that most expectant mothers do actually research various topics and these are also discussed at various appointments and any possible classes she attends.
Again, I am genuinely sorry for the horrific trauma which you went through. It is horrific and I hope that your son is doing well and hasn't experienced any birthing injuries.
Looks like a woman was silenced by youtube and an absurdly angry busybody
To be honest the non epidural options really suck and just make you feel drunk in the same pain
It’s rather disgusting how Women are made to feel so bad about accepting pain relief during labour and childbirth, it is one of the most painful and dangerous times in a Woman’s life (and lucky you if you got through it without anything, but it doesn’t make you superior to any other Mother)
I was given an emergency C-Section after my Son got stuck and his heart rate started dropping, and my Sister RAN to tell me what a failure I was for “taking the easy way out” (even though I had no say in it, because mine and my Son’s life were in danger) and tells me how she had 4 kids “naturally” (although, I think she had pain relief) She never even met my Son as a newborn either, but was happy to tell me what a failure I was. She did the same with my Cousin too, who had pre-eclampsia and also had to have a c-section and her Son was born tiny and had to be given catch-up milk.
People ENCOURAGE you to take pain relief for anything else, but for one of the worst pains a Woman will ever feel, we get made to feel inferior for accepting it. SMH.
To any Mother’s-to-be that might be reading this - if you feel like you can’t handle the pain of one of the most painful things a Woman’s life…ACCEPT THE PAIN RELIEF!! You’re still a Mother - nothing will ever take that from you - and having a good experience is important for bonding with your baby - sometimes, Women have traumatic birth’s and struggle to bond with their babies afterwards because of it. You are NOT a failure for accepting pain relief, every Woman’s birth story is different.
Just because some Women CHOOSE to be martyrs and stick through the pain for the sake of some kind of psychological trophy at the end of it, it doesn’t mean you have to. Go get the pain relief, girl! That’s what modern medicine is here for!
Very Well Said.
Take or don't take as much or as little pain management meds as you want but remember, you don't get a medal for turning down the epidural!
Absolutely! It's truly about making a well informed, rational medical decision. Ego has no place among education. Your sister clearly struggles with mental health issues and projects her own feelings of insecurity onto others. Is that rational? No. Is that well informed? No. She's taking a chapter regarding personality disorders out of a abnormal psychiatry textbook and living it. Don't give energy to that bullshit.
She needs help, and you have other things to do. Period.
Im sorry your sister is a complete bitch. She must have some secret competition with you that only she patanes in, like mine does with me.
Gave birth 6 months ago, first time mommy (beautiful baby girl!)
I was on the fence about the epidural before labor but once my water randomly broke and labor REALLY set in, I changed my mind. The absolute PAIN! I wasn't even halfway dilated and I was dying! I decided to get the epidural so I could focus on the birth without the mind-numbing pain. 14 hours later, my girl was born perfect and smoothly. Mothers should choose what works best for them, their birthing plan and of course, their baby. ❤
I agree with you. It should be up to the mother to decide how she feels most comfortable delivering.
But always have a backup plan just in case sh1t happens beyond your control.
You will feel better knowing you always can fall back on your backup plan(s).
*THe BIRTH PLAN*
It causes back problems. I have to do so much to stop the pain in my back. I’ve had three epidurals.
@@QueenAnaya-x7b I have backache too. I've had three c sections ( so three spinal anaesthesia)
@@nazimk7477 yes it like regardless if I stress that pain comes back if I work out it gets worse so I can’t really do a lot of workouts that require me to use my back because it puts me in debilitating situations if I do too much workouts involving my back
Luckily I never had issues after. It just takes me a few hours to get over after. However, they don't fully work on me. I still feel everything, just a little more tolerable. The main perk is I don't feel any other pain, like if they have to break my water. Now that was torture. Thankfully she stopped and told them to give me an epidural before she continued.
@@SR3272 might be because I had 5 all vaginal and they were all seven and 8 pound babies and for three of my pregnancies I was always on my feet because I was a lab tech and I was in school. stretching does help sometimes maybe I just need to stretch more
Why does everyone say it’s admirable to go natural without pain relief?
Is ibuprofen immoral?
Is suffering moral good?
I honestly want to understand but I feel uninformed.
They’re just being snobs. Its the same logic as approaching an infection without antibiotics. Sure, you’ll most likely survive, but recovery will take 2-3 times as long and you end up with additional problems that you wouldn’t have if you hadn’t been such a coward about medical science. I survived whooping cough mostly alone and with antibiotics right at the end. That taught me how ridiculous this logic is. Pointless suffering is pointless.
@@thaloblueThis is an apples to oranges comparison. There are many great studies that suggest natural, non-hospital childbirth (barring any conditions that may preclude or complicate it) actually has significantly shorter recovery time and better outcomes. And with proper pre-birth education, the pain is significantly more manageable than people think. It’s not about being a snob or a hero, it’s simply learning about the physiology of birth and choosing to go the route that’s more aligned with nature.
People think it’s admirable because they are lacking education on the subject. I say that with the best intentions! They think natural childbirth automatically means you decided to just bear down and deal with the pain, but in reality, if you educate yourself on the physiology of birth, it’s not nearly as difficult and painful for many people. It’s not a guarantee for everyone, but a great many people have this experience with proper preparation.
@@thedomesticrevival Save that granola shit for a toilet that will flush it.
@@thaloblue It’s actually scientific fact, not “granola” 🤣 But stay ignorant all you want, enjoy yourself
This is so fascinating. How the cervix and vaginal canal have to stretch. I didn't have any children so never experienced this but all I can say is OW! OW! OW! Glad I've gone through menopause.
Women are actually incredibly strong 💪🏽 Women do not have to compare their strength to men, it’s simply a different form of strength. It’s frustrating that society puts on over the other. All different types of strength are valuable and needed for a productive society
Agreed👏👏👏💯 well said
Well said. I agree. :)
💯
Women back in the dark where just as physically strong as men. They could break most people in half at only 4 foot 2 or slightly taller.
@@miscalotastuff733I think you meant archaic women were stronger than modern women.
Its different for everyone. My office mate already 8cm but she dont feel a thing. I was at 3cm and i was in crazy pain.
Except this doctor doesn’t even know what a menstrual cramp feels like. So how can he say it’s not that bad?
I had a 10lb 1oz baby and yes it was that bad. 🙄
Had 3 babies naturally, no medications. Lamaze breathing and watching the second hand on the wall clock got me through (contractions last less than a minute). But i was also lucky to have short labors. Once dilation started, my babies were born in less than 4 hours. My sisters all had long hard labors - up to 30 hours. If mine has been like that, I'd have taken medications for the pain.
Oddly enough, my contractions were about the same as the cramps I had during menstruation. Everyone is different. No one way is better than any other. The only thing that's important is getting through it.
@@bipolarcollie same for me. Did not have pain at all almost, have more pain during menstruation.. the midwives thought i had multiple children but it was my first and only :)
@@EweliinaKdo you have endometriosis by chance? Just wondering, if your cramps are on childbirth level well that means they’re pretty severe
Yeah, if I had a 4 hour labor, I'm sure I would have skipped the epidural, too. 😂
@@bipolarcollie I had 60hrs of labor with my first. Still managed to go all natural though and so glad that I did :) Pregnant with #2 now and hoping to do the same.
I think having people that will actually work with you and adapt to your needs sounds like the most important thing
My mother almost died giving birth to be due to a torn ingrown placenta loss after I was already out. If it hadn't been for modern medicine getting her an emergency surgery, I would have killed my mother coming into this world, which happens more often than it should to this day, especially in the US. If your birth was easy, great, but always remember that birth can turn into a matter of life or death for the mother just as quickly as it can for the baby.
I think not in the US, but in maybe rural parts of asia and africa, yes
@@maskedpoetcommentator345no unfortunately still in the us especially for poc it’s a reason the hospital I was born at is still called killer Sinai
@@KlearlyIMme taken out of context. The reason most pocs die at childbirth is either a coincidence, actual racism which is a very small minority, OR there is actual underlying medical conditions that affect pocs. And it's still not even close to the amount where it would seem like a death epidemic. It's only in underdeveloped areas that have significant birth mortality
@@maskedpoetcommentator345you’re wrong, it’s still very dangerous in the US, especially for black women, even at peak physical shape. Look up what happened to tennis champion Serena Williams, she almost didn’t survive.
@@maskedpoetcommentator345now who’s “gaslighting”? 😂 too funny…
Thanks to the moms for giving birth to us all button
👇
Trans and nonbinary individuals exist, not just those who identify as women who give birth.
That's why I don't want kids.😅
Yes childfree
Adoption(optional)
Unfortunately, even with all our modern meds, sometimes epidurals...just don't work.
There is no reason to deny women pain control during childbirth. Here is nothing heroic about enduring extreme pain.
Exactly! I am 0% impressed by any woman who insisted on feeling as barbaric as possible. Does she also crave post partum depression? Does she want to have a hard time bonding with the child that tortured their way out of her body? Not a flex in the slightest.
Yeah, I rally don't see what is admirable about choosing to be in ingredible pain when you don't have to.
There is actually a small risk that the medication can affect the baby, reduce the woman's ability to push and prolong labour - perhaps even raise the chances of emergency C-section. these risks are small, but some women choose to take the pain than take those risks. Now that is brave I say.
It's still extreme pain and I'm sure other things are better left healing naturally,but people don't feel ashamed of having pain relief.
@@elbebecker7587 in a world where every contingency and complication has a solution? Nah.
1st child I chickened out but was to late for epidural so just had IV.
Second child I knew I could do it with out any pain relief & did it.
Both labors where easy,the pain came when contractions was hitting close almost back to back but once I was pushing with contractions I didn’t really feel pain.
I also don’t get cramps on my monthly’s.
Every women’s body is different.
Small fact correction; I consider myself fairly knowledgeable but to be sure, I googled this:
Period cramping pain/discomfort is from the uterine contractions themselves not the cervix dilating. The cervix doesn’t “dilate” during a menstrual period, it opens slightly and changes shape but this isn’t the cause of the cramping pain.
Now childbirth is different! From what I understand the contractions are extremely intense which causes the dilation of the cervix to its max, which is most of the discomfort and then the other discomfort and pain is your baby stretching your tissues on its journey out…
I am potentially hours/days from giving birth myself so cannot speak from experience yet there on whether it compares for me. IBut factually just felt the need to chime in.
how was it? how are you finding your newborn?
@@CRAYONL516 did you have your baby?! How was it? 🩵
I hope everything went well and both you and baby are healthy 💛
Thank you ma'am, a lot of women were misinformed by trash doctors, pretty much tricking women into giving birth, It gives:
" We won't give you a hysterectomy because you or your FUTURE HUSBAND may want kids later" vibes 😐
They would never deny a man vasectomy tho.
Good Sized Fact Correction there, First Time Mom! (Be Not Afraid...)
Why are people only talking about cervical dilation? There are 5 different things that can indicate how close you are to be ready to give birth. You have cervical position, cervical consistency, cervical effacement, station of the baby on top of cervical dilation. Dilation isn't everything! I really with people would talk about this. Woman deserve a full picture of what is going on in their bodies and how labor and delivery work
@@ablthomas37 Because this video is about this part of childbirth specifically. Like....weird way to flex your knowledge, but not the right forum.
@moosepatil5946 Because the video *isn't* just about dilation. Contractions affect all of those other elements I mentioned. So a woman can be at 1cm but have everything else ready to go, which makes her much closer to giving birth than she'd realize by tracking dilation alone, because cervix dilation can change very quickly. If you have two women who are both 1cm dilated, one might have days while the other might have hours based on the other markers. That's important information for a woman who's deciding in the moment whether she wants an intervention like an epidural, two more hours of pain like this is different than 24+ hours.
Plus there are lots of options for pain relief outside of an epidural.
@ablthomas37 again make your own video then. What are you really doing right now.
@@ablthomas37 the video style is too short to mention all of that
@@BeczaBot they just want to flex their knowledge without actually making content themselves.
Weird flex, but okay.
I feel like using a cookie as a measurement is a bad idea considering the fact that you can make a cookie any size
Right? Are we talking an Oreo or a Costco cookie?
yeah, like cookies can be anywhere from an Arby's cookie to a Chips Ahoy.
@ivyhearst3554 definitely a costco cookie
Some people can't have epidurals, plus bigger babies can rip, each birth is different for everyone but childbirth is painful but worth it.
And some man complain about the size after pregnancy 💀
Gurl stay childfree
Had an epidural with both. It worked like a dream for me. Didn't feel any pain, but could still feel my muscles tensing, so I knew when to push. Epidurals are fickle though; they don't always work.
Truth❣️👍🏻
It, the epidural, was great. I was going to try, but mid-contraction, I thought. WTH?
I had a VERY high-risk birth, and my blood pressure went so high with each contraction that they were standing around with stroke treatment. After the epidural, my blood pressure only increased a small amount for each contraction. I feel like an idiot that I would risk my life simply because of the "super mom" stereotype. Why die when my son's life was just beginning?
He's 13 now, and I can't believe I almost let him, my older son and my husband, live without me.
Some women are younger and healthier, but the look of relief on my husband's and my lead OB's faces when I chose the epidural, I knew I was correcting a very dumb decision.
Women need to choose according to their own situation, not by the judgment of others.
When I was talking to the nurses as they took my son to the NICU, one told me she would never do labor without the epidural. They were even able to leave me alone for an emergency C-section, and they wouldn't have been able to do that if I insisted on avoiding the epidural.
Yeah, as a side effect, epidurals tend to cause a drop in blood pressure, because they also affect the nerves that control the muscles inside arteries. This can be a problem, if the mom's blood pressure is already low, or a good thing, like for you. But the nurses give you extra IV fluids to stop bp from becoming dangerously low.
It's crazy that people would think less of a medicated birth. The fact people consider a giant needle to the spine as an easy way out is telling of how torturous labor can be. I always considered myself cowardly for choosing natural labor, simply because I'm not letting anything tap into my spine if I can avoid it lol. If you can alleviate the suffering, and are brave enough to take the shot, why not.
@mustachedpotatoes7217 "A giant needle to the spine?" LOL, girl, it's not that bad. There's certainly nothing wrong with not having it, but if you ever need an epidural (for childbirth, or surgery, or whatever) don't be scared.
I had an epidural after 30 hours in labor. (Combination of me having something to prove, and the medical practice I chose discouraging them. I wouldn't do that again.) I don't think I felt anything much during the placement. It certainly didn't hurt anywhere near as bad as the back labor.
Totally agree with you that each woman needs to do what is best for her personally. I had the opposite set of circumstances with regards to epidurals. Because of a serious back injury from a car accident as a child, an epidural was not guaranteed to work on me and could even injure me. I also already have very low blood pressure. So I ended up choosing the natural route. Choosing to go unmedicated is not always about some desire to feel superior to other women.
I was one of those that was, "I don't want pain meds". Fast forward, when labour started, for me it was way worse than period cramps, arrived at the hospital and heard some god awful noises coming from a woman in labour. Instantly was like, "hook me up" 😂.
@@turquoiseopalfruit 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
I have 4 children, 3 of which were born at home with midwives. Natural labor and birth are definitely not for the faint of heart but the pain can be manageable if you've learned a few techniques and prepared yourself.
That being said, if you want the epidural then get the epidural. I had a back injury from a car accident as a kid that compromised the efficacy of an epidural and could reinjure me. Plus I didn't want to go down the route of a potential "cascade of interventions," so I chose natural childbirth. To each their own :)
I'm scared of epidural. When I was in my 20s a girl my same age had a baby.
They performed the epidural incorrectly and completely ruined her back.
She couldn't walk without a walking stick and would have back problems for the rest of her life. 😥
@monzorella1 I've heard of people losing legs and being parlayed 😖
@@lpstweetytv5242 yikes 😳
There are so many factors involved with child birth. The atmosphere matters. The people around you matter. Every woman has a different pain tolerance too. I just gave birth to my 2nd baby 10 days ago. With my first, I felt lots of pressure but barely any pain. This time around, active labor was under an hour and I felt like an animal lol
My second decided she was coming out sideways.
@@dawnelder9046 Yikes!
was she OK?
4 kids... Vaginal birth, no epidural, no stitches, never forget to thank my body everyday, she's been through a lot because of my decisions
You are disgusting sadist and masochist. If birth is so painful, why did you popped out 4 goblins? If i would have my leg broken by falling while hiking i would not say "lets do it again, falling from that mountain was so fullfiling". You're obviously crazy and love to have head in your crotch because it brings you pleasure. Being kicked in the nuts is more painful tham giving birth too, i never said to my buddy "dude kick me in the nuts again" after being kicked in the nuts. Your kids have sadistic arrogant awful mother, i feel so bad for them 😢. Shame on you!!!!!
For all the women who had natural births god bless you because I couldn’t do it. That pain was waaayyyy too much for me I could barely breathe no matter how calm I stayed.
Reasons why I didn’t have an epidural:
Scared of the needle
Scared of side effects
Rather short births (around 4 hours total)
I am sure I would have changed my mind if it took longer. But man, was it painful!
@adina1858 Same! I was scared to death of a needle in my back so that was reason enough for me. 😅
Same for me. Thankfully my hospital has a „no standard epidural offer“ policy. They give you one if you ask, but only offer you one, if you need a break because you’re so worn out. They are actually all for as little medical intervention as possible, because one intervention usually leads to another, and another,… even the doctors are usually only called to the room if the midwives sense an emergency coming or when the actual birth is imminent and then they watch from a corner by the door not to disturb the „primitive brain“ when giving birth.
I was gonna go natural till it took 30+ hours of labor and only up to 7cm. 🥲 then I needed a C-section anyway because I got an infection
I had an epidural for both. My first labour went on for 53 hours! I was screaming my head off in the end, and so exhausted. Afrer that experience, i immediately had an epidural for my second. My second was actually easier and i probably didnt need an epidural, but i was too traumatised by my first to find out.
@@nothanks1239That's 3 days woman! No wonder you were traumatized!!
I've had 1 epidural out of 5 births and I think it made my birthing experience worse. I was 16 with my first pregnancy and NO ONE told me anything about it! I heard that the doctor could give you pain meds but I had no idea that it went into your spine and that I wouldn't be able to feel anything at all. The nurse was getting mad at me when she had to keep telling me to push and then when I had to move rooms after I just gave birth, I "felt fine" so I attempted to walk (that same nurse let me) and I fell right down. I will never go to that hospital again.
The fact you were 16 had a lot to do with how rough it was. You were fully physically mature so more trouble.
@@vangu2918 what's that mean? Surely you're not implying that because I was 16, I should already know what to expect with an epidural?
@@vangu2918calling someone fully physically mature at 16 is batshit insane i hope you understand that
Yeah it makes no sense. It’s like taking a marathon runner, numbing their legs and feet and expecting them to go run the race just fine. And everyone just blindly trusts everything that comes out of the medical profession. These are the same people who gave us lobotomies and thalidomide.
Ive heard this from SO many women. Also there are no long-term studies on how the cocktail of medicines they can push will affect mom or baby. I suffered from an epidural injury which was never mentioned as a possibility by my providers. Never again...
I had my two boys with pitocin (I was induced medially) then an epidural, and there wasn't really anything to experience compared to having my third baby when she was ready and no epidural.
I always had very painful periods, and found out when i was in labor that my periods felt like I was 5cms dilated. Monthly misery, especially when people kept saying "Your just need to ignore it!" "It's best to walk it off" and other such ridiculous utterances.
Dysmennorhea. My first Wife had that really bad...
I was very blessed. My childbirth pains were manageable. I always had very bad periods. When I had my first I just felt cramps. When I got to the hospital I was 9cm and I told the doctor I wasn’t in a lot of pain just discomfort. So amen. That I was able to pop out 4 kids with ease.
You just described my experience to a T, except with me it’s 3 babies
Can it be, that the pain was bad, but you are already accustomed to it because of periods?
Through my years I have told this to many of women...only a few with some medical (non-clerical)experience did NOT know this and only a couple without med experience did know. In other words very few females knew this. Why are we not teaching our girls the very basics?!?!?
Knew what? (The basics)?
If we all knew how shitty pregnancy and labor really is we would have to reconsider how much we REALLY want kids.
why not indeed?
I had an epidural. Still tore and could feel that at the end, but soooo glad I did.
You may not have torn had you been able to feel and tell when to ease off while your skin stretches or you had a midwife/doctor that cared enough to help you know when to pause.
Same here. I hesitated because I could feel that I was about to tear, but my screaming nurse midwife yelled that I had one more push until emergency C-section, so I pushed through it. The epidural for both my birth experiences with my son and my daughter were very nice. I was brought to tears of relief during the birth of my second child, my son. It was so nice to have all that pain suddenly lifted off of me.
@@considerthebirdsThat usually is down to the midwife not doing proper checks and performing an episiotomy in time. The midwife is meant to regularly check and to perform one before someone tears.
I was checked regularly during my labours with an epidural and even with a subsequent birth, I required an episiotomy be carried out.
Unfortunately, women's health still leaves a lot to be desired.
@@considerthebirdsAnd yes, about the midwife actually saying when to stop and start... again, it is terrible how so many don't do their duties as they should.
@@RedFairyWoods An episiotomy is not recommended anymore if someone’s about to tear. Studies have shown that performing one makes tears worse and natural tears heal better. If a doctor (in my state) does one nowadays, they will need to be reviewed by a medical board and give good reasoning for doing it like needing to using forceps or vacuum in an emergency.
I had 1x natural no epidural. 1x natural with epidural. Epidural is amazing. Ladies , we deserve that epidural and are so lucky to have this at hand . I felt truly blessed and was so relaxed with the epidural I could appreciate the moment more.
My friend had it too and she felt so amazing on it! She initially was insistent on having a natural birth until the day came and she was in extreme pain. She eventually asked for the epidural and felt so relieved. She couldn’t feel anything from the waist down but knew how to push still and she was actually feeling euphoric lol
@@HiThere-mb6pp *Indeed. Epidural anesthesia is a "Godsend." 💯*
Yepppp so true I had a natural birth almost long story but worth the read trust me. I was in labor three days had back labor n the meds didn’t touch tht pain in my back and legs but I pushed 3-1/2hours n then the dr was like oops he can’t come out this way bc ur bones r to small ur getting a C-section😤 my son was doing ok I wasn’t I was so sick by this point omg she even tried forceps it was awful😭 and where I had been in labor so long she turned my epidural off 30mins before I started pushing😭 so it was a natural birth. She had to push him back up the birth canal there was a few other things tht happened as welllike the fact when they broke my water to much came out n they had to put a tube of fake fluid so he wouldn’t suffocate it had been awhile n I just started pushing but the dr finally came back in and the nurse wasn’t checking the towel to make sure it was draining properly so I had to stop pushing and she got up on the bed on her knees and had to push my stomach to my backbone w her fist 👊 to get the fluid back out bc his head was blocking a way for it to come out so anyways she’s pushing my stomach all the way in omg I thought I was going to pass out at this point but some how I didn’t she said if she didn’t get it out and I pushed even one more time the uterus would have burst n ruptured and we both would have died instantly pretty much. Then I continued pushing like I said I had to have an emergency C-section after ALL of tht So needless to say tht was the absolute worst experience of my entire life. Ladies use the epidural and don’t allow a dr to let u suffer!! I was only 18 at the time I honestly don’t know how I didn’t die 🤷♀️. My mom had natural births and didn’t know what was normal and what wasn’t.
Epidural loweted my blood pressure during labor! The pain was making it so high (I had gestational hypertension that ended up developing into preeclampsia). As soon as epidural kicked in, my BP stabilized!
drugs are amazing, drugs delivered directly to the spine are 👨🍳💋👌
"Cantaloupe Melon?!?" My sons head was so massive, it felt more like a Watermelon!😂
Thank you for all the Mom’s here who gave birth to us! I am always so grateful for my mother on my birthday. She did ALL the hard work- I had ZERO say in the matter!
She just loved to had head between her legs and wanted to have slave like you because she's arogant selfish monster that doesn't care if you will suffer. Don't be like her. Get sterilized and don't reproduce. There are plenty kids without parents in foster care. If your mom is so brave, why didn't she adopted any poor orphan from there who looked for parent for whole life but instead prefered to have huge orgasm while popping out head out of her crotch. Absolutley disgusting 😠. Once again, don't be like her and don't reproduce
@@MK-ih6wp actually your lungs released and enzyme thst signaled it was time for labor to start. You kicked the whole party off!
I have three children and had a different experience with an epidural for each one. 1st Time : Amazing, I was waiting for him to do it and he said he was already done. 2nd Time: Painful! 3rd Time: They gave me too much and my heart rate went down to 60/30. I was so numb I lost the ability to push or even feel like a contraction was coming. It was scary.
After loosing my twin girls at birth I was only 20 yr old and so uneducated and thee bordering on evil ego master “maternal fetal specialist who yelled at me when I cried quietly and then yanked my Identical fused TTTTS PLACENTA OUT far too soon(no epidural), so he could force me to watch as my baby girls passed on a table wouldn’t even let me hold them Tilley passed at 26 weeks, doc etc and malpractice (ha). In 🇨🇦 so at 23 when I was so very blessed with my third daughter, (not fully versed but ty internet in 1996)I was blessed with my only living daughter given an epidural so strong in a still grieving traumatized state 2.5 yrs later that paralyzed me to the point my lungs were affected. I regret so many things but in the 20yrs and 3 more blessed births etc I learned what I’m capable of and man if I could exact revenge teaching on that “maternal fetal specialist” pos that let me die for 2 weeks bleeding to death never cognitively or otherwise aware except for only being able to verbalize I knew I was dying to my small circle………for two weeks!? Till I had to have a D&C and several units of blood and so much therapy. Which everything I believe led to my ppd and ppp it really affected our marriage and my elder 2 kids the most due to my state of mind and lack of care.
It’s amazing any of us even survive. But hindsight so much I’d change from day one.
Peace to you♥️mumma
Thank GOD i'm staying childfree
Haha I am staying child free as well and it's purely my choice. But I can commend the women who do decide to have babies and go through all of this.
Even though I know some women are not fit to be parents or they get pregnant in some circumstances beyond their control, such as assault. The human body, and women's bodies to go through so much change, will always fascinate me.
Good luck with your cats that inherit your belongings
I highly recommend having a family. It really the wealth of life. Or adopt.
@@ddgg6680 So? At the end of the day, how does this comment affect your life?
@ddgg6680 tell me you'll end up alone in an old folks home without telling me you'll end up alone in an old folks home 😂
My gynecologist told me that my cramps are equivalent to the pain of childbirth... If the pain of pushing a baby out is truly that intense, I highly doubt that people would have multiple children honestly!
@@tamerapratt1383 people? If men didn't insist on more kids, women wouldn't voluntarily have more than 1 or 2 kids.
Exactly!!! My labor was way less painful than my period. Pushing a baby out is the job of your contractions and it happens on its own when ppl leave you alone. Women give birth in cars and on sidewalk cafes without epidural and without screaming like someone is killing them...this is rubbish
@DorcyBarde i disagree...my husband was done after 1 and I still want 3. I'm pregnant w no. 2 now
@DorcyBarde If the woman doesn't want a child then she shouldn't have one. Volunteering your body to have another baby, simply because your partner wants to is not only crazy but is irresponsible.
@@tamerapratt1383coercing someone into having children is a thing though, and not everyone has access to contraception 🤷♀️ (nor do they always work)
Yes, you have to practice a lot months before the birth but learning to relax and Not fight the contractions makes a world of difference. No pain relief needed sometimes and positioning also makes a big difference. Look into a book on the Bradley method.
People try to go natural because strong pain meds can harm the baby, affect breathing, etc. Obviously there are times it Cannot be avoided but it should be avoided if possible. Having experienced 3 vaginal births and 3 c-sections, I understand there are times pain relief is sometimes needed.
I have aggressive fibroids and my period cramps since I was 11 were awful. To the point I couldn’t walk 😭 at times. I had a c section and recovering hurt less that my period cramps 😔
PCOS SUCKS.This is an *Established FACT* .
I don’t think that not having an epidural is admirable, I think it’s morally neutral as a choice.
Well sadly the modern maternal medical field has terrified women from natural labor. Having a baby wasn't designed to be pain free so it is admirable when a woman trusts her body and nature more than a drug. Modern medicine has its place but in the USA we have the highest morality rates for mother and baby and it's all linked to the cocktails they push through the mother's veins.
Haha are you being serious @janinebean4276
@@MrsBaxThis is not due to a mother receiving pain medication but rather due to simple negligence from birthing staff! Comments such as yours is what can leave mothers to beat themselves up over not managing the picture perfect birthing experiment which commonly seems to be built up.
There is no shame in receiving pain medication during the birthing process. It can help a woman avoid birthing trauma and to actually be able to bond properly with the baby when he or she is first born. It can avoid the need for additional interventions such a c-section as a mother does not become as worn out so easily. You must also be aware that many different factors can cause a mother to have a much painful birth. For some, birthing without medication can trigger a whole host of their known medical conditions.
Countless women died during the labour process many, many years ago than nowdays and that is due to the medical field being what it is these days.
Pressure on having a drug-free birth can lead women to actually have a more traumatic experience. Whereas, if they know it is available for them and they are regularly asked if they would like to try something, it then leads to a much more empowered experience.
@@RedFairyWoodsthere is a very clear correlation in the statistics between epidurals and increased birth complications. So saying “it can avoid the need for additional interventions” is *clearly* incorrect… the reason there is less death isn’t because of epidurals decreasing pain and trauma, it’s because we have far better *emergency* medicine practices than we did before. We haven’t decreased the number of complications, only the number of deaths. Also, the USA has much higher rates of epidural use than other developed countries, and it also has much higher rates of maternal and infant mortality. That’s not a coincidence…
@@rachel4339 It can indeed avoid the need for any further interventions. As I have stated, there is an awful lot of old so-called information still floating around regarding epidurals which is rather dangerous as it would then fill some people's heads with terror and then potentially leave them with a much more painful and more negative birth experience.
Epidurals are safe and are widely used in theatres also.
Once a mother has received an epidural, the baby is then meant to receive continuous monitoring of the heartrate to look out for any possible signs of distress. Mothers need to be checked at various points (as they are during deliveries without an epidural) to see how dilated they are. Staff either not adhering to their duties or it being a somewhat open-to-liability by being between rooms, could easily be the reason why some interventions are then needed. Interventions can easily occur as they would without an epidural. Sometimes babies happen to get stuck. It happens in plenty of births without an epidural and out come the forceps. Saying what you have done is likely going to scare some people who are already worried about labour and want to do what is best for their baby when it reality, it is best for the baby for the mother to be feeling safe, calm and in control. That factors into positive birthing experiences.
They also do not push "cocktails" whatoever at all. That is absolutely ludicrous to even suggest. Research has shown that in reality, many women are denied the opportunity to receive proper pain relief during labour. Also, medication received during childbirth being labelled as such clearly shows your rather strong feelings around the subject. Any pain medication injections given are given at fixed time intervals and are a fixed dosage. They do not pump pregnant mothers full of "cocktails" at all. There is nothing wrong with a pregnant woman deciding to have pain medication. It should not be demonised at all.
As for what you have stated regarding America, the fact being that the population is much, much greater than various other counties. Such as say, Spain, for example. Or the UK. France and so on. So that is really not a proper example to attempt to prove any point.
You also have to take into account at exactly what stage of labour a mother was at before she received an epidural. As that all would factor into the list of possible potential issues of any intervention necessary. Sometimes these things can literally just happen. It doesn't mean that it is the epidural to blame. Severe distress in the mother has been shown time and time again to have a very negative impact on a baby and that occurring during the birthing process, along with a prolonged delivery, is clearly not going to be very positive. You are also clearly not thinking about the fact that some mothers have babies who are in awkward positions, babies who are particularly big, mothers who have existing physical injuries and so on. All of these directly factor into this.
Epidurals are safe or they would not be used and I am not one to blindly believe that everything is safe! I suggest that you take the time to do some more up-to-date research on the subject (not meant to read as being sarcastic ~ tone is always hard to tell in written form) as it is not good claiming what you have done.
There is nothing negative whatsoever about a mother deciding to have pain relief injected to try to take the edge off the pain from contractions. Nothing negative about a mother deciding to go with an epidural due to the pain being too much or simply needing one as their pre-existing health condition really requires them to in order to try to keep their vitals at a good level. There is nothing negative about a mother who decides to give birth without any pain relief. Nothing negative about a mother who is clutching the gas and air in an iron grip the whole way through. Everyone is giving birth to their child and should not be made to feel negatively about the way in which they do. The same as people should need be coming across scare tactics which then means they are too scared to request the relief which would greatly benefit them.
Nobody is pumped full of "cocktails" during labour. These days also, good luck with even receiving proper pain relief if you happen to have a long-term injury from another, completely separate health condition!
Having an epidural saved my sanity during labor, I highly recommend them.
... I was left alone in my room all night and forgotten about. The only time they came in was to turn off the pain medicine and up the medication to speed up contractions. I was writhing in pain.. all the while I had to listen to the people next door have a party. They told me I couldn't have anyone in my room. After I made it through the night begging for help the head nurse came in to check on me, I had a high risk pregnancy that's why. Anyway, I was 10 cm and crowning. She started checking for my ultrasound that I was supposed to have and didn't get. Then called those nurses over. They started in on how I didn't need one yet and I just didn't like pain.. dude that head nurse blew a gasket! She flipped the F out and sent them home.. I ended up needing an emergency c section because my baby was face up. On top of that I actually had to push 4 extra hours when the doctor got there and she almost pulled my baby's head off with some suction device. He had an enormous hematoma on his head. The head nurse stopped her and forced her into the c section to save my baby and me, we were both in distress. After all that the epidural didn't work and I felt all of the c section.. AND THEN my freaking c section scar was a mangled mess.. so badly that her husband, also a Dr., asked who messed me up this badly..
*Ventouse Abuse* .
It sounds like Birth might have been *Less Than Magical* in Your case?
peace.
This isn't talked about enough. I had a theory years ago that I was feeling contractions before/ during my period. Sometimes just vaginal, uterine or both. Shit had me crying.
I suspect that the choice between the worse cramps of your life, and a painful potentially dangerous spinal injection after which you are still in danger of death, is one of the reasons women are simply opting not to have children.
@@gemmeldrakes2758 i believe the main reason women don t want to born babies is that they are not with the right person or they don t trust enough their partner. I am very afraid of pain but when I had a very good relationship with my partner all the fear was gone and I really was willing to make a baby. After the relationship ended I started to be fearfull again (of pain, of death, etc)
There are always risks associated with anything but epidurals are not evil. If they were, then they would not regular be used for someone going into theatre for a variety of different reasons. Yes, sometimes complications can occur but they are rare and are part of the whole informed consent package. They are safe and they are carried out by very highly trained anaesthetists who do countless each and everyday.
The lowering birth rate is due to a variety of different reasons but the main one seems to be the whole cost of living crisis which is having an impact in many, many different countries. Women are also deciding that they do not wish to have children. Some haven't found the right partner. Plenty of people simply do not want to go through very invasive fertility treatments or cannot find funding in order to do so. Or they simply cannot have children at all. So many different reasons.
The epidural isn't as painful as you'd think( if done right). I have MS and need spinal taps every year or so. Now one thing I will say is it depends on how long you're in labor. My epidural was in for 12+ hours. At one point I'm guessing it shifted and only numbed half my body. I could feel my right leg right as I hit 10cm. I told the nurse I was starting to feel my right side but they said it was too late and my son was coming then. It took about 40 minutes to deliver. His shoulders got stuck and the nurse had to straddle me and push down while the OB pulled. I ripped from the cervix to the anus. I began losing lots of blood and because I could feel half of my lower half.... I was in horrible pain. I was shaking and couldn't even hold my baby. Luckily the anesthesiologist came and fixed my epidural before they began to stitch me up.
3 years later I had to have reconstruction surgery.
Another thing I want to add as a nurse who worked l&d a few months... I learned female bodies are incredible and more resilient than we are led to believe. Even though we are half the population, scientists and doctors are just now studying how our bodies work and why we suffer from certain symptoms or diseases. Why do some women who go through a rough miscarriage will go on to develop autoimmune diseases?
I changed my mind at the very last minute and a nurse told me it was almost too late for me to get the epidural!
I have two children, and my overall experienced with childbirth 1/10 would not recommend! 🙃
I wonder if this is one of the reasons for intense endometriosis pain? I often pass large clots with my periods. Maybe I have to dilate more??? Or it's just an additional pain unrelated to the dilation?
Was wondering something similar
I didn’t feel pain till I was 4cm when giving birth. 😭😭My periods are so bad.
Hear me out. Please use the relaxing techniques you learned in labor when you feel cramps and sit on the toilet. You'll be surprised what that does for you cramps aka "mini contractions". The heavy bleeding phase is shorter, less cramps.
I had an epidural with my last child but all the medication went to my legs. They also gave me a ton of pitocin to hurry labor along. It was agonizing pain along with being paralyzed and unable to move at all through the contractions. I thought I was going to die!!! Natural birth with no medications would have been better 😢
Pitocin is horrible!!! Wave after wave of intense contractions with no break in between like natural birth!
I am a woman and I don’t understand how any of this works. Because when I was about a week out from giving birth I had a check up and they told me I was 3cm dilated already. But I hadn’t felt a single contraction. Inversely I have had many periods with excruciating pain where I thought I was going to black out. No idea how that happens. I didn’t start feeling a lot of pain or wanting an epidural until I was 7cm. That being said, it was around that time that my water broke, so maybe that being in tact helped with pain? The female body is a strange and amazing thing.
Ehhhh. With both my births, I had EXTREMELY painful contractions before my water even broke. XD
I have a hereditary condition that means I experience, often, childbirth level contractions during my period. I can confirm, it is INCREDIBLE pain
@@CherryGryffon endo?
Endo?
*_Wait!!!_* YOU'RE TELLING ME ALL THAT PAIN IS ****JUST**** 1CM!?!?
_I was already dead set on using epidural _*_*BEFORE,*_*_ BUT NOW IT'S AN UNCOMPROMISING MANDATORY DECISION!!!!!_
Had two kids naturally. Still can't anyone convince me to let someone with that big a$$ needle near me 😂
Came here to say this! My second baby is 6 weeks old, I chose no pain meds just like I did with my first. I don't regret it either time, I got to walk both of my babies out of the delivery room to postpartum. No giant needles or my arch nemesis, the urinary catheter 💀 Plus delivering in the squat position was sooo fast!
That's right!
I’ve had 8 kids now. I definitely prefer the epidural however I’ve experienced all ranges of 100% natural-complete epidural, half, slipped, non working etc.
Yeah my period are at least at 6cm. At least that’s when my pelvis says to my 🧠.
Going without pain relief is in no way “admirable”. It’s useless and you should not be praised for it.
10,000%. It’s not a flex.
@@thaloblue it’s also an implication that women who do get pain relief are lesser. It’s gross.
I agree with you. In fact, I'm so afraid of having an epidural (and I've had one for a cervical cerclage), that I have huge respect for people who choose that! 😆 I would go through almost any level of pain to avoid it 😫😫
It doesn’t have to be admirable, but is neither useless. Given that epidurals are man made, we were not supposed to need them. Not being able to fully feel your body definitely has an impact on the birth; a birth with epidural has statistically more chances of ending on cesarean than one without. This is not my word; it’s all documented on scientific journals, you can find it as the “cascade of interventions.”
@@lrbolotin1227 I’m fine with that. Nothing wrong with a c section.
Also like to remind a lot of people, in cases where your "hole" isn't wide enough for the baby to come out, the doctor / nurse will cut open your "hole" (downward), then stitch it up later.
This is a firsthand experience from my mom, so yeah, remember to thank your mom during your birthday! It's not just about celebrating your existence, it's about celebrating her sacrifice in childbirth too!
Plenty of people wish they were never born, and nobody chooses to be born.
Parenthood is entirely the choice of the parents, it is a privilege and not a kindness
They don't do routine episiotomies any more because it can often cause excessive tearing.
I experienced both - with epidural and (second time) without.
Without was better, in fact it was really cool I even liked it despite the pain. I felt so powerful
Yeah the epidural I left too late I was 9cm couldn't get in to the position they wanted me to and had a c-section under general anesthesia I didn't not have more children I wouldn't repeat this experience and the medical professionals didn't take my pain seriously enough. At the right times.
I am so sorry that you experienced that. It seems to be extremely common that birthing mothers are not listened to, or taken seriously regarding their pain.
It turns out that they are not supposed to tell a mother that she is too far dilated to have an epidural which is interesting. I had similar with one birth ~ by the time they actually located an anaesthetist and came in with everything they required, they claimed I was too far gone to have one.
Hours later, I was still in labour. Which would have gone more smoothly if they had not been gatekeeping the relief.
The fact that you have been left feeling the way that you have, is not okay. I am sorry. Birthing is the most vulnerable time of our lives yet there is still so much needing to be done to actually improve the experience where it doesn't cause lasting damage.
My mum had me and my sis back in rural Thailand. Then she came to the USA and had my brothers. They said she was the quietest woman they ever met. Not that she isn’t in pain, but she just doesn’t see the pts in expressing her pain through screaming.
My sis had her first baby with epidural (they to do it twice) and she believes strongly it screw up her back as she has daily back pain since then.
Honestly thank God for epidurals!! I had them with both my kids, and I wouldn't want it any other way. Made the experience of child birth so easy and it was nice having medical teams right outside the door. While in the hospital one of the nurses saved my baby's life. She aspirated in her sleep, and stopped breathing when I was sound asleep. The standby nurse noticed her heartbeat was dropping on her monitor, and came in to save her. I think back on that night a lot. If she didn't respond right then and there my baby girl might not be here today. If you're out there I just want to say thank you for saving her!! You're our hero!!! ❤❤❤
Me too. I have a high pain tolerance but I knew right from the beginning, I wanted a epidural. Felt wonderful when it kicked in. When I went into active labor and my water broke, I literally was throwing up nonstop. It was caused from me having labor pains in my lower back. Right there and then I was like I’m glad I already told my dr when I got pregnant I wanted it. I have scoliosis/ asthma( I didn’t want to have an attack because the pain got severe) . Unfortunately I wished I was informed that the epidural contains either fentanyl or another narcotic with the lidocaine. I have a severe chemical intolerance to over 80 percent of medications , especially narcotics, ibuprofen, codeine, even over the counter. My body literally goes into detox mode, like Iam withdrawing from an addiction. Towards the end of the night into the next day, I started feeling extremely off, the cluster headaches started, the uneasy sensation in my body . I got home the sweats started, I started jerking/ shaking, nauseous and non stop throwing up. I was like this for almost two weeks. This was the worst I’ve been. The most I’ve been down was like a couple days. My mom had to step in and help me With my son. His father couldn’t as he couldn’t miss any more work . I will never get an epidural again, unless they have an option to where it is only the lidocaine.
The pain increases with dilation...? But I already feel like I'm dying at 1cm...💀
Childbirth is the WORST pain of your lives ladies but also the reward of your baby in your arms is priceless:):)❤
@@priusa8113 pass
my biggest medical peeve is how cluster headaches, which affect more men than women, are known as the worst pain possible and almost always are specifically called "worse than childbirth".
like mmhm, sure thing bud, whatever you say. 😐😐😐
I don't understands men's obsession with having things "more" painful than child birth. They need to get a grip lmao.
There is one type of migraine, evighet i have, called suicidal migraine.
Because many people have killed themselves Siw to it.
No meds help and you feel like you are going to die.
I think it could be similar to childbirth on a painscale.
You comtemplate to jump just to get the pain to stop.
@@martenmaarten I have a condition related to Cluster Headache (Chronic Paroxysmal Hemicrania). I have also given birth with only gas and air for pain relief (not for point scoring or anything, but simply because I was fully dilated by the time I got to the hospital). For what it's worth I've also had several miscarriages and several decades of menstruating under my belt. All of them hurt in their own 'special way'!
I wouldn't 'choose' to go through any of them, but I wanted my kid, so there was a 'purpose' to labour for me. That's not true of CPH!
I can assure you that the 'headache' conditions are indeed horrific. They are by no means a 'standard' headache. I'm very lucky to have access to an effective medicine however it has many major negative side effects. Also it doesn't completely stop the attacks, but rather subdues them massively. I've basically had several attacks *every single day* for the past 11 years (the first couple without any effective meds). It doesn't make any sense to me to compare this to labour.
Unfortunately, the nickname this group of headaches has exists for a very good reason. I was part of a support group a few years ago where in the space of a few months, several members took their own lives. There were regular talks of not noticing major head injuries simply because we're regularly in major pain. And not only is the pain *that* unbearable, you still have to live/work/look after family/give birth(!), miscarry(!!)etc
I definitely hear you when it comes to being suspicious of the way something that might seem to affect men more (and this is debatable) is described as 'more painful than childbirth'. But the reality is these headache conditions can affect people of all genders at relatively equal rates, and are also relatively rare across populations (which is why correct diagnosis can be tricky). Men as a whole cannot win 'pain endurance points' on this - most won't experience Cluster Headache, and women absolutely experience it too (and it really shouldn't be a competition anyway!)
That said, childbirth experiences vary enough for any comparison to be competely moot. Childbirth still kills and leaves people with major disabilities. Not every pregnancy is wanted. Some give birth with relative ease (so to speak!) completely on their own at home. Others suffer days of hellish contractions followed by a deeply traumatic birth. Personally, I just don't see the point in comparing. For those who have a headache condition but never give birth, it will likely be one of (if not the most) physically painful things that person will experience, and the condition can go on for years without relenting. There's also not much understanding or compassion from others. For those of us who've been through both, they just don't compare; they're too different.
Apologies for the length of this, but I've got big feelings on the subject!
My mother gave birth to her last 4 children at home, I was her first home birth. Everything went great and I was able to observe the natural birth process therefore taking away the fear that many people experience when thinking about birth. I then went on to give birth to all of my children at home. All are now happy well-adjusted young adults. ❤
How did you go about doing it at home? Did you do it in water? Who did you have there?
@@laurs5551 For my first birth I hired a midwife and she brought her apprentice in training. Kind of a funny side story, the midwife that assisted me during my first birth was the apprentice in training when my mother gave birth to her fourth child. Then I went on to have my last two births unassisted with just my husband and mother. For my last two births I labored in a birthing pool set up in my home but ended up birthing in my bed.
I used a pain control method called hypnobirthing. I highly recommend it. 💜
Excellent. I had two caesareans & both my children are also happy, well adjusted young adults. What’s your point?
@@laurs5551 I hired a midwife for my first home birth in the early 2000's and she brought her apprentice. She was very hands off, just the way I wanted. Birthing pools were not common back then in my area so I labored around my house and then kneeled on my bed for the birth. When my daughter was born onto the bed everyone was still and quiet, we all looked at her and she (the baby) looked at me and I said "can I pick her up?" (I was in a good kind of dreamy shock) the midwife said in the most beautiful voice "Of course, she's yours" I felt myself smiling and then she (the baby) smiled at me and the midwife and apprentice both simultaneously said "Awwwww" 💜
It was an amazing experience.
Kind of a funny side note, my midwife was the midwife's apprentice for the midwife that assisted my mother during her 4th birth in the late 1980's.
For my second and third births I did an unassisted home birth with just my husband and mother with me. For my second birth I labored and gave birth in a birthing pool set up in my living room and for my third birth I labored in the pool but then moved to my bed for the birth.
🕊️
@@skyes7369 No need to be so defensive. You may want to speak with someone about your hurt and anger regarding your births. I hope you find peace. 🕊️
My mom always told me it feels like you’re going to split in half and that it feels like it should kill you, but it doesn’t. She had epidurals and claims to have a high threshold for pain. I cannot tolerate pain whatsoever (she used to tell me I could never give birth even with an epidural), and I had 4 home births. Childbirth is INTENSE. It’s the strongest natural force I’ve ever experienced. Contractions are like a tsunami rising up from your feet, up over your head, then crashing down with force on your center. If you’re well educated and well prepared, it can be a sacred, empowering, and transformative experience. The unbearable part comes from being on your back in an uncomfortable, unfamiliar medical environment and being in fear, you’re working against your body, not with it. To each his own, of course, I just want women to know that if they want to experience unmedicated birth, they are completely capable and are designed for exactly that.
Child birth is nothing, taking care of the child is harder😅
*We concur. Short-term Vs. Long-term (unavoidable) "pain." 😅*
in which responsibility is often only put on the woman, again
But dads the good parent, because hes not the one who tells the kid off or actually parents
Gave birth twice and my cervix has a really "special" way to dilate : labor begins, stuck at 1cm for about 10 hours then... *BOOM* 1 to 10 in 20 minutes. So, my own opinion is the first centimeter is the worst 🤣
Since starting on an anti inflammatory diet and taking magnesium to help me sleep every other night I kid you not I’ve cured my cramps.
Quitting sugar and high carbs has helped so much I don’t need to be trapped in my bed in agony anymore
When I get my PMS chocolate craving I opt for dark chocolate and getting used to the taste
Hi, with respect, can you help me understand why it’s “incredibly admirable” for a woman to opt out of pain relief?
I’m due to give birth and I’d like to understand
It is not admirable. He is just saying what everyone else says about it. This is the lip service that women who choose to endure more pain expect to receive.
@@NyaNya242 it’s but admirable at all.
The point is that not everyone needs it. But he's trying to scare women into buying an epidural with his choice of language.
We ladies are AMAZINGLY DESIGNED!!!
The brilliantly complex design of the human body, for me, is proof of God. There’s obviously some kind of divine intelligence at work here. When women breastfeed their baby, some of the baby’s saliva goes inside the nipple. If the baby has an infection, her body will sense it and put antibodies in the milk. That blew my mind.
Aw the fact that we breathe through the same tube we eat and choke cuz of it is also divine to you? Or the fact that we shit and piss in the same holes you fuck? Tell me how it is such a divine creation that the reason the kid is so useless when it's born is cause if it grew all the way like most animals do, its head would be big to the point that would cause 100% death to kid and mom. Fucking sheep. Critical thinking is not your forte is it
Meh I kinda wish we just laid eggs😅
@@funeats8201then by your reasoning, the fact that many women are biologically unable to produce enough milk to breastfeed and so many of us still don’t survive childbirth is proof that there is NO god.
Nope. Sounds like the worst design ever. If it was the design. Actually, it is just evolution, which cannnot plan ahead
Very misleading. Many women experience menstrual pain worse than childbirth without meds. And it shouldn't be considered 'admirable' to go without meds, it's a choice made with varying factors and it's morally neutral.
*Varying Factors* ...
*Morally NEUTRAL* ...
*HUNH* ...
should *Not Be Considered Admirable* (To YOU)...
weeelll...
that Vid the doc made was "Very misleading." bc after all, YOU Say "Many women experience menstrual pain worse than childbirth without meds..." (which Is, Writ Large, *Complete Utter Horse Exhaust* sorry sweetie.)
True / False?
"I would *NEVER* NEED *ANY PAIN MED* WHATSOEVER. Bc as in Everything Else, *I* am the *MASTER* ... "
" (all you *Lesser Gals* might need Pain Management though, & since I am *So Cool* , I'll Let You Have Some.) "
Brute.
@@Ananta-n7w Remember, non-binary and trans people exist too, not just people who identify as women.
@@arc4564 who cares lol
@@arc4564 They won't experience childbirth or periods, so they don't count.
@@kikijay3992 Yeah, don’t mind that they exist, they’re human just like us❤️ Thank you for understanding.
People think that its fine just because its natural 😭 but nature is cruel and of all the animals on the planet humans have the most painful births cuz our bodies designs are ducked up
Had an epidural both times. 2nd baby the doctor had to catch her because I knew what I was doing (for once) and it barely took 1 push. Couldn't feel or move my legs for 12 hours. That was fun 😂