Im a 34 years old trans woman, fully transitioned at a very young age . Today I went to a store to put on some men clothes into the fitting room. I was shocked to realise how a relief it was to be in these clothes... These 5 minutes in this fitting room were like a break from this war I've been at against my body for so many years now... It kills me to admit it, but i've felt at peace with myself like I've never been before. I felt like I was letting go of that unstoppable need to attract men attention and god it felt so good... I grew up without a dad, was raised by only women, that's what fucked me up personnally. Im not saying i will detransition, I know I probably never will. I pass a 100 % as a woman in society, I had SRS done, a boyfriend who loves me as a woman( I secretly put on his boxers sometimes and put a pair of socks inside to mimick a penis) so it seems completely inimaginable to me to throw all that away, after all the work and money i put into it. But anyway, sorry for the rant, I just wanted to share this with you. You are very brave.
I hope you don't mind me pinning your comment, it's very powerful and describes exactly how I felt and still feel . As you age you may have to answer that longing to be free and slip into the cool calm waters of effortlessly being your self. Truthfully , I'm still finding my feet, I held on to being trans for so long , terrified of being a different kind of man. As I said in a previous video, transition was the greatest success of my life but also imprisoned me for too long . We have to accept reality lest we live a life of parody. Thank you so much for sharing this .
@@Call-Me-Sam I don't mind no worries. Thank you for your advices. You know, what I like the most in your videos, is the calm, the stillness that you seem to have found in the highlands. This is what I aspire to do, leave this hectic life in the city, where I feel like drowning (im from France), and just sail away to a very peaceful place, free from the eyes of others , and from the mask I put on everyday. Get rid of the trauma for good and start new. I feel like going to nature could be the remedy. Take care Sam!
@@CielVenus1 Thank you. This is exactly how I felt at your age, I left the city ( london ) when I was 39. Our environment either supports and nourishes or depletes us, we can only continue for so long. I'm happy for you because you already know things that took me a lot longer to realise . I wish you well as walk your own path 😊
Brother, you are NOT who you (think you) look like. Let that go. We can hear who you are and who you are is one awesome conqueror. You are doing amazing! You are a man of solid-rock character. Be at peace with yourself, knowing that you are a light in this world of darkness. Be at peace with being used by God to open the cages of those imprisoned. There is no better reason to live than this.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey! Your videos really touch me and help me understand myself better. I feel they have a grounding effect on me and help me being in touch with something real within me. The older I get, the more I feel that maybe identity is an illusion. Maybe we are nothing and everything. Perhaps we should simply embrace being without questioning. In this regard, maybe we can learn from animals. I don't think they ever question their identity. They are just who they are. I hope this makes sense. I fully understand the psychological mechanisms behind the desire to reinvent oneself and escape the cruelty of societal reality. I think most of us do this in some way; almost no one shows their true self. You are one of the most emotionally real and vulnerable people on RUclips I have ever listened to.
I feel the same. I am just a tiny speck of life but there are no boundaries to life, so i try not to cling to anything that may seem like a solid way to view myself forever. It is changing constantly.
I'm so very sorry for that little boy who was and is, you. Thank you for working to express what you've learned. So often, as I listen, your words ring like only truth can. I'm 66 y/o and have never understood all that childhood trauma does and what the road out of the consequences, looks like. Now I do and so much now makes sense. It's always been (to me) an understood that I should "pull up my socks and get on with life." At least, I thought that was it. Anything else was to "make too much of it." And "you don't have to look far to see someone who is "really" suffering." But I only ever thought that those beliefs were true for me. I never thought that anyone else's suffering should be disregarded. Only mine. (I'm fighting myself to not erase that. My brain is screaming, " What suffering? You never suffered. There you go again, whine, whine, whine.") I clearly have a lot of work to do. Thank you, Sam. What you are expressing is so very valuable. And so are you.
Hi Sam - just wanted to say that it's a privilege to bear witness to your inner thoughts. Thank you for voicing the pain that many feel too disempowered and ashamed to express. Please don't ever feel that you are rambling, cos within your organic flow of words you touched upon so many things which made me able to release years of unshed tears! So that now I am smiling, instead of feeling so lost 💗 Take it easy and don't worry about how often you post, the quality of your videos outweighs any such burden😅 Xx
Much love and peace to you from Wisconsin, USA. You're a philosopher and poet, a beautiful, intelligent, interesting person. I think your struggle to communicate and express so sensitively is helping many to heal and move forward ❤❤❤🕊 Heaven loves you so very much and we do too
Watching your dogs frolicking in the river, truly enjoying the moment, and knowing you'll be going to the comfort of coffee and food in the cabin, seemed the perfect end to this particular segment. Thank you for your insights and help.
Wow Sam, what a wonderful video, so much insight again. You have helped me yet again on this journey of walking ourselves home….radical self acceptance, be more dog! Don’t you just love a spaniels enthusiasm for life…no questions, just be, here, now! This made me think of the Rumi quote, which is certainly ringing true for me at the moment….”the wound is the place where the light enters in”. Acceptance of the wound because that’s where the journey within starts. You emanate light and so much wisdom. Thank you for the gift that was this video, and not only for the amazing scenery! Take care beautiful soul….❤️🙏🏻
Your comment is so beautiful, Kate. I love the Rumi quote. You are so kind to send such a heartfelt response to Sam. You are right, there is much insight in Sam's video, and also in your response to him. ❤
Keep peeling back the layers of the onion. Keep processing the things that rise up and then let them pass. We have kept in so much and each emotion held in needs you to see it. It takes time to work through it, to accept the enormity of our trauma and what it took. But then realising it was always going to happen, we needed certain things to elevate to the next level. Recognising and realising our TRUE self in Christ. We never fit in for a reason, we aren't of the world, we are here to ENRICH the world. Turn from the darkness to the light for the benefit of every person here. A big awakening family.
Once again Sam, here you are putting your beautiful heart on display to encourage us to accept ourselves and heal as you accept yourself and heal♥️ Sam, you are a gift from God and I praise God for you. You are deep goodness.
Call me Sam too. I just want you to know how much I’ve appreciated watching you share your story. I’ve been through tough times too & although my gender identity has remained stable; my personal sense of self has also been severely damaged. It was in mu 50’s when I began to address the acronyms that have come to define me in so many unpleasant ways. I thank you for reminding me to let go of things that have been to much, and to recognize the essential self that rises above labels that have been foisted on me. I just want you to know that you matter and help the world in major ways by sharing your truth. You’re the best teacher as you share your journey. If I may, I just want you to know I love you💕. You’re helping me stay the course in my recovery every time I listen. Thank you. I live in Northern California, near a river, as I stand in the beauty around me, in this place of my recovery from a life of trauma, I often think of you. Thank you for being you Sam! We need more truth tellers in the world like you. 🙏🏻🌈🦋💕😊
Bless you, thank you so much for letting me know that my videos help. You have no idea just how much I needed to read these words this morning. I wish you peace and I will do my best to continue to share as honestly as I can.
"That's all that really matters, really- truth." Your words are so profound. Thank you for sharing your heart. I hope and pray you find peace. Sending you love. (Love your sweet dogs!)
Just finished the video and I was surprised to find that so many people already commented, 3 hours after it got posted. Sam, you have gathered a very wholesome and strong community around you, with your videos! Also.. yay, Sam posted a new video, this is a good day! So many golden nuggets to think about, as always. Thank you for sharing 🤍
Keep going Sam. There is a beautiful authentic MAN emerging. From the deep inner healing of your sprit man, a divine work is happening as you walk this journey. It is a wonder to behold. Let it flow. No perfection needed as none is perfect. No not one. ❤️much love & grace to you sir. Thank you for sharing your lovely surroundings
Something to consider, each of us might have had a bad start, and even made some regrettable choices, but, no matter what we did or what others did that affected us, we can make a good finish. Look at you commanding those dogs so well! I believe the grieving and the understanding/ processing is important. I also believe you and God can make your life work well. External image is not what I am seeing here. I see honesty, I see courage, I see a loving man caring for his beloved dogs. I feel God is so pleased with the very capable man you are becoming every day. The truth is you are becoming quite a strong man.
"That is all that matters... truth". And the truth sets you free. The radical acceptance of this moment. The radical acceptance of oneself in this moment. To be present. Here and now. Thank you Sam.
It really resonates that you felt so corrupted you may hurt the trees...... I felt very similar at one point too. Beautiful and authentic and I love how you said “we can find our innocence again”. I found this very healing, thank you 🙏 x
I wish so deeply my father could see how you are able to see now. He didn’t transition but he was abused as a child and carries it with him, to the point of extreme coping: he’s a “functioning” alcoholic (no such thing, really). I desperately wish he would face the pain the way you’ve been able to, because I just want him to find some sort of peace on the other side. And self-acceptance. It’s probably selfish of me to want this for him, I don’t even know anymore. Thank you for sharing with us. 🙏🏼
I think we all must reach our threshold of what we can deal with. My own father is completely shut off, heartbreaking though it is , all we can do is accept them as they are.
The outer (Yang) and inner (Yin) path of The Hero/Heroine's Journey... Becoming a Master of your Self... So admire your vulnerability, strength, intellect. You are deeply Loved DearHeart 🙏🫂❣
Im just watching your video again and totally missed when you mentioned that you hurt people and that you are sorry. THAT realisation also came to me and my desire for forgiveness was the catalyst for my transformation. What a blessing it is that we do indeed receive forgiveness if that is what we truly want.
This was not a ramble, it made so much sense to me. Every shred of pain I feel is the truth of me crying "no!" to abuse. I hate "no", I hate how limited it is, and yet absolute. I hate how it blinds me to what else is out there. But my pain crying "no" IS the truth of me. It is where my peace begins, and where the world opens itself to me, it is where I am. Sam, thank you, God bless you, He is carrying you on eagles wings. We are not alone.
I’m always so greatful that you share your journey. It’s been such a learning experience that has helped me while I work thru my own trauma. I haven’t faced a gender crisis. I feel that we all learn to find ourselves thru deep inner work. ❤
You are a light in a dark world. Congratulations on living life as the best version of yourself as God intended for you. Uniquely created by the Creator of the universe. to be only you. God bless you for sharing your story. You are a conqueror.!!!
I appreciate your wisdom and insight--shared. I struggle (almost constantly) with rumination and bad memories. As you say, radical acceptance is the answer. Living fully in the moment is proving a difficult habit to form. Would appreciate your prayers, and be assured of mine for you. Peace to you.
Sam ❤ you are such a powerful soul 🪷🕊 you are a true healer and a powerful voice. G-d crushes us and uses us; your experience is very important for the whole; you’ve literally embodied the masculine and feminine and come full circle to a healing/healed masculine. You have a G-d given mission, you can speak from both perspectives. Look at what just happened at the Olympics (boxing) it’s not random. Your life is and has always been perfect 🕊🙏
Your strength and honesty are a GIFT to us all! Your journey has helped unveil my eyes to some of my past. I don't feel as disconnected anymore. It was paralyzing to believe that there is just something wrong with me, and now I understand the why, and feel like I can actually move forward. May this next chapter of our lives be healing and renewed
Thank you, Sam, for sharing your heart, for baring your soul, for showing us beautiful scenery and darling dogs. Thank you for sharing a laugh and the joy of caring for sweet dogs. Jesus loves you very much. He sees the internal man, and I do, in a way, through His eyes, too. Healing is happening in you is also what I see.
I have been praying for you Sam. The answers really lie with your Creator , who loves you ...the Lord Jesus who will carry you and heal your broken heart 💔 you can find out who God made you to be and you can be restored ! Watching and praying from New Zealand
Sam, your wisdom is beautifully shared in each video. And you become clearer with each recording. It is a blessing to listen to you. 🌿At one point I was reminded of a technique I used to dialogue with my wounded child. The Wisdom of the Other Hand, it is called. I asked questions with my dominant hand, questioning as my current, adult self. And my inner child came through the somewhat awkward writing of my non-dominant hand. It might be a useful tool for you or others who are on the journey of self-understanding, forgiveness and peace. 🌿 Thank you for your recordings. Although I seem to have worked through most of my childhood issues in my now 70 years on this beautiful planet, not a day goes by now that I am not asked to look again at issues I dealt with in the past, and question what my current response is, or if a response, a repositioning, or a total evaluation is appropriate or required. Your words, your heart shared are good for my soul in these moments. Thank you.❤️🤗
What a beautiful place you live in, that’s a gorgeous river and healthy green vegetation! I have a watched several of your videos, and I’m so very happy to know that somehow you have reached your inner healing. I love to pray for people, and please be sure that your going to be in my prayers from now on. Be blessed Sam. I love your dogs!
Your property is beautiful! And your thoughts are courage are too. Thank you for being there - people need to hear you as much as you need to speak and share....
Thank you so from all my heart, I've said it before. Please don't give up, observe, but do not give into the cruel thoughts. Imagine, someone like me is on the other side of the earth and sees herself (detrans ftm) in you, this abstract companionship by itself is very precious, I pray for your resilience and for tenderness to come all your way.
I just came across this video and wanted to watch it because I watched one you did prior… Not sure how long ago… and it was so intriguing to hear your story and everything you’ve been through, what got you there and then what has helped to get you where you’re at today. I’m so sorry for everything that you have been through, but I just have to share that your heart and soul come through so clearly on these recordings … You are such a sweet and gentle man. I don’t know where you stand with believing in Jesus - I happen to be a Christian, but that aside for the moment … I think you’re awesome and looking “outside in”, you remind me a lot of myself because you’re so damn hard on yourself. 😊 And I know people tell me all the time that I am on myself. Seeing what incredible value you have and the value you share with the world makes me realize that I probably have value more than I realize as well. Thank you for being strong enough to share your story and for being vulnerable. Please understand you have a great value and everyone has screwed up and done horrible things that we’re ashamed of. Let’s remove that rearview mirror for at least a little bit so you can focus on the present and what exciting things are to come for you in your future. I pray for health, peace and wisdom for you. 🙏🏻💙
Thank you, Sam, again for sharing yourself so honestly and beautifully. In my journey I found some readings helpful: Psalm 139 "I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well." Frederick Buechner, whose father committed suicide when he was 10: says in "Telling Secrets" - "The original, shimmering self gets buried so deep that most of us end up hardly living out of it at all. Instead we live out all the other selves, which we are constantly putting on and taking off like coats and hats against the world weather." Sam, I think that's one of the things you have been getting at, to become "the shimmering self" that God made each us uniquely to be. Jesus said (prophetically from Isaiah 61): "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me (the Messiah), because he has anointed me to preach the good news to the poor. He sent me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free those who are oppressed (downtrodden, bruised, crushed by tragedy), to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord." (Luke 4:18) It also says in Isaiah 53 that he was "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief." As I continue to put my trust in the Lord Jesus, I have found him to be the most understanding, the most authentic, the most generous, the most kind Person in the universe , and He has preached to my poor soul, he has provided released to my captive places, given recovery of sight in my soul and continues to heal wounded places where I've been imprisoned. Sam, thank you for providing this safe place for people to come and listen and learn and share. PS, I love your dogs! ❤
Sam I love your videos Thank you for sharing It’s really giving and generous Praying for your healing journey and for the Lord to meet you in all the places 🙏🏼
Only just found your latest video , as I am not receiving notifications .Really enjoyed your video and the wonderful peaceful scenery that you are walking through . At the moment I am going through a bad patch as the old tapes are still playing in my head from the bad therapy I went to years ago ,It helps me to listen to your soothing voice and insites .
Thank you so much, Sam, for sharing your heart. You will never really know how much these videos help me make sense of my own crazy life. Blessings to you. ♥ 🐾 ♥
Thank you so much for sharing the beauty of the landscape and your heart. Your words put out to the world have resonated and restored so much in my own journey. Much love.
I love your videos and so appreciate your openness. Your comment about us being unique and that no one is exactly like us was very true, but not something I ever really thought about. I like that you said to quit trying to be someone else, and just be you. I went through something myself recently, not anything near what you have gone through, but something troubling to me. Just out of nowhere, I discovered another RUclips contributor who said something that provided me peace. That peace has never left me. If you are listening to yourself, have peace in the knowledge that you have found yourself. Nothing is your fault. Take care, enjoy the beauty of nature that surrounds you, and enjoy the company of the animals you are blessed to have around you. Animals are God's gift to man and know us better than we know ourselves.
You are not who you thought you were, which is true for most of us as we look at our younger selves. Sam, you are not that. Instead you are a son of God the Father. You belong to that Family. I hope you find this out. God bless you for your honesty.
I understand you Sam 💯….the created world vs the real world. Within and without and I hope you reach many many people with your message. Very few of us live in reality. We escape and like you said, what we constructed and what’s real causes a huge shift and can we confront the shift fearlessly. Do we want it? Leaving our virtual comfort zone?
It's always very beautyful to hear your reflection of yourself in the world around you. Like the Tolteks describe life - as a mirror, so do we find wisdom in our unbiased reflection in life. Hearing you talk reminds me of what things that I know but I forget to practice. Because we build our habits as children and then we solidify them as adults in the never ending cicle of survival but a bad habit can only be replaced with a good one, it cannot be removed. Your videos I find a reminder - to practice the good habit. And you will see it in yourself that to be healthy ism't a one time decision, but one that you have to make every day, to turn it into a habit. Thank you sharing the beauty of your inner self, thought and feelings. I found that when we struggle to explain with words, what we feel, it's always good to find literature that helps us put those understandings we come to, into worlds. I'm also glad to not hear an apology for not uploading more often. :D Seems like there is more awareness of your limits and appreciation of them. As I like to say: "When we apologize for us (...), the apology is for ourselves to ourselves." and there is nothing to apologize for as we are all that we are.
Dear Sam, Thanks for your touching words again. They touch me. You say you came to a point where all your copingpatterns didn’t work anymore. In work, that happened to me too. I broke. But now for quite some time in my sickleave, I am still as hardworking/ pleasing/ put pressure on my days to earn my right to exist- I work so hard to heal myself and develop my awareness- and connect with people. I do excersizes, read books, talk about stuff, try to eat healthy , do sport,etc etc. It is never enough at the end of the day. I still don’t let go of my old patterns on that area…. I don’t know how to “ do my day” without judging all the time whether I do it well enough.. I wish I would be more true to my needs and how I choose to do things. Very difficult for me.. I wonder if you or anybody else has a reaction on this…. Thanks !!
Hi Barbara .... Yup, I hear you. Change comes very slowly for us. The most important element is relationships with good people that understand not just us but also the spiritual reality that is the foundation of our being. The most important relationship is with the source of our being , its where we begin and end. I know it's difficult but learning to meditate is essential I think.... in the past I have had a good consistent practice and it really did help creating some inner space around our issues but that inner space became an outer calm and stillness that I could occupy. As I type , I look down at my desk where there is a sheet of paper with one word on it " Change " We can do it but only in kindness and compassion and in relationships. One last thing .... when you are judging or criticising, imagine your child self, thats who you talking to. Be gentle, be tolerant, be kind .
@@barbarah6002 Meditation really helps. Even for 20 mins in the a.m before you do anything else , then 20 mins in the p.m. This is what I'm doing now. I only just started again but am determined to make this a part of my practice . Good luck to you.
@@Call-Me-Sam yes- indeed: I meditate and have online Buddhist lessons twice a day. It really helps to take the storylines in my mind less seriously. I even now can lower my dose of medication against anxiety.
Such a great name Ziggy awww. Love you Sam. I reposted one of your videos and people mistook you for me :) We look somewhat alike though I'm the boyish female version. Much love and solidarity, Kim.
Good morning Sam I have been listening to you of and on for some months it breaks my hearth for you yes responsible but don’t be to hard on yourself you are so use to pain and with what you know now let go and move into your present believe me your ok
Thank you Sam for these videos. Our ultimate purpose on this Earth is to worship God and be an example to others. You are doing that by helping so many people understand the Truth.
Your honesty and truth are so powerful. Your videos help me with my own healing. Thank you for sharing your heart with the world Sam. You are beautiful as you are. I’m always cheering for your victories as you heal.🦋❤️🙏
When we come to our senses in the Light, we look back and have so much compassion for our damaged selves. And we slowly start to take responsibility for our lives...as we are.... for me it is a body cu t to pieces by self h@rm which I no longer hide. The light is beautiful and your words are like honey...
@@Call-Me-Sam I am so glad that my words benefited you in some way. I find this world a ruthless and vain place and every tiny bit of kindness and love goes a loooooooong way.
Yes, I agree. Today I had a bit of a mystical experience . A flash of realisation, some words just popped into my head and I knew that " all is abstract but love, love is real." As I repeated these words I started to cry. Relief I think .
@@Call-Me-Sam I believe this to be true too, that only love continues on, because it is the only thing of substance, even though we cannot not see it. Yet it makes us full and satisfies us... When I was at the beginning of my "breakdown" which was really a break through, I asked my husband "Neil, what is the purpose of us being here? Tell me, cos Im literally losing my mind" He said he didnt know and then he said "Maybe it is to love one another" It was then that I knew I had heard truth. I often wondered what my tears were about and I think you hit the nail on the head, it is some sort of release... a release I still do not understand... but thats ok lol This journey to the truth is both beautiful and hard (for me anyway) but it is so nice when I meet a fellow traveler. Have a love filled day!
Yes i found myself too. I wasnt any of the things i thought i was at all! Yes, to be found. Yes, to find yourself right here in this present moment was everything to me, to realise im unique and loved!!!
Im really enjoying your videos. Im not a transitioner or detransitioner but I resonate with loads of it as ive been suffering with complex trauma. I have also enjoyed your conversations with Cori, who is so funny and you two are great conversationists together! Great mix of humour and profundity! ❤
Thank you. I think I'm sharing a universal journey that really is the human journey toward peace and selflessness but made more complex because of trauma and transition ! I have found that those of us that know complex trauma really do speak the same language, no matter the nature of the trauma. I look forward to Cori and I recording again as soon he feels up for it . Hopefully not too long . 😊
@@Call-Me-Sam Yes this is very true! It's about identity which is at the heart of trauma. I have also had dealings with the medical tyranny which has attacked my body. I think our bodies are attacked because they don't want us to find out how powerful our bodies are. But I'm still early on my journey I'm still ill but I'm on a path of healing which is balm to my soul. Thank you, carry on the good work. You're really helping ❤ I think we have similar early years traumas. I'm discovering trauma can be a gateway to your soul ❤
Tee hee. When you whistled for the dogs you really got my dog's attention. He popped up and stared in direction of the sound for a couple of minutes. :)
hi Sam, I dont know what I could say to you that could make you feel better about yourself. I want to tell you that you matter. What you had to go through was excruciating pain but you must know that YOU ARENT ALONE IN SUFFERING in this world. Reach out to others and share your pain with others if you could. The younger Sam would be okay once again :) Take care Sam. God so love you! Keeping you in my prayers.
As i write this comment I see directly to the right the title of a video: Healing Begins with Confrontation. How apropos. From having lived/swam in depths of Truth and grief, having to forgive yourself and others (from the unforgiveable as another who did the same in a BIGGER Way) -- you carry great meaning/strength -- and have become a highly competent journey/way shower for others who need a strong hand to hold, words of encouragement, a flashlight, as they/we all, stumble through darkness into Light of Truth. These are the days, now is the time. All the best.
Such a brave, wonderful vlog, Sam. Thank you for your truth and vulnerability. I was so glad to see the notification that you had posted. Take great care ❤
such a beautiful walk. honesty is also beautiful. bravery in the Truth of all the bad things we have done in the past. when we know better, we do better. those dogs recognize the beauty of Sam being true.
Hey Sam...such a beautiful share...I was happy to see you had put up a video . Thank you so much for showing up with such realness and authenticity. I always feel the potency of your shares...they always remind me of Satsangs ( meeting in truth) You always express with such poetic clarity ...certain lines hit so hard, yet bring such lightness... So many takeaways from your words ... I love the paradox of living with uncertainity rather than certainity ...you said something along those lines .. In the sense of dropping what you think you know, or who you think you are, and instead, to live in the pregnant pause of uncertainity..the mystery, and let it reveal the truth of who you are . Im still discovering who I really am...it does take courage...there is a lot of grief comes up... Sometimes the feeling youre heading in the right direction, then sometimes as if youre hanging onto the edge of a cliff by your fingernails. Im still hiding... Makes me wonder if theres still things unmet hiding in me . But also recognise theres a ripening taking place in the hiding. Love you ✨️💛
Beautifully said. I was in a abusive relationship and in a cult seems so long ago now. I did break free but so so scary at that time because Ididn't know how to be in the world at all. I'm still transforming at 65 now. I'm not so scared anymore and I guess I'm a bit of a rebel now. I ride my horse in nature and inhale it all as it brings me peace and so it heals in a way. So blessed to have found you necause it's all b design. I still don't like groups and enjoy having alone time. It can be difficult and what you say is so useful to me.
❤ I'm so thrilled you came up in my feed ...it has been so long...but in the spirit, I've got your back starting NOW...your total recovery is just within reach...get ready... I Love every bit of you , SAM. 💕 🙋🌹GA USA 🇺🇸✌️
Sam, you are so gentle with your dogs. It made me cry to see you and hear your pain while you speak so sweetly to your pups. I wizh I could hug you. If you put your trust in Jesus, you will be restored and fully healed in eternity. I expect a hug when I meet you there. Praying for healing. God loves you right where you are in your journey. ❤🙏
Sam! So good to hear your voice and your thoughts, I can tell you I have missed you. Glad to know you keep moving forward and upwards to a heavenly, supernatural reality.❤
We can't believe how much childhood sexual and mental abuse ca cause so much damage. I am a 65 year old male and can't get rid of the pain. Yo never see the end of the pain. I live a a life with no feelings. I am hollow inside. Years of therapy only help you survive. We all need your prayers.
Sam, I love to hear you laugh because it means for that moment, everything else falls away and you are completely in the present, experiencing joy. Dogs will do that for us.
Yes, you do have to acknowledge your mistakes. You have done that. It is time for you to also acknowledge the person you have become and step forward into your future.
Im a 34 years old trans woman, fully transitioned at a very young age . Today I went to a store to put on some men clothes into the fitting room. I was shocked to realise how a relief it was to be in these clothes... These 5 minutes in this fitting room were like a break from this war I've been at against my body for so many years now... It kills me to admit it, but i've felt at peace with myself like I've never been before. I felt like I was letting go of that unstoppable need to attract men attention and god it felt so good... I grew up without a dad, was raised by only women, that's what fucked me up personnally. Im not saying i will detransition, I know I probably never will. I pass a 100 % as a woman in society, I had SRS done, a boyfriend who loves me as a woman( I secretly put on his boxers sometimes and put a pair of socks inside to mimick a penis) so it seems completely inimaginable to me to throw all that away, after all the work and money i put into it. But anyway, sorry for the rant, I just wanted to share this with you. You are very brave.
I hope you don't mind me pinning your comment, it's very powerful and describes exactly how I felt and still feel . As you age you may have to answer that longing to be free and slip into the cool calm waters of effortlessly being your self.
Truthfully , I'm still finding my feet, I held on to being trans for so long , terrified of being a different kind of man. As I said in a previous video, transition was the greatest success of my life but also imprisoned me for too long .
We have to accept reality lest we live a life of parody. Thank you so much for sharing this .
@@Call-Me-Sam I don't mind no worries. Thank you for your advices. You know, what I like the most in your videos, is the calm, the stillness that you seem to have found in the highlands. This is what I aspire to do, leave this hectic life in the city, where I feel like drowning (im from France), and just sail away to a very peaceful place, free from the eyes of others , and from the mask I put on everyday. Get rid of the trauma for good and start new. I feel like going to nature could be the remedy. Take care Sam!
@@CielVenus1 Thank you. This is exactly how I felt at your age, I left the city ( london ) when I was 39. Our environment either supports and nourishes or depletes us, we can only continue for so long. I'm happy for you because you already know things that took me a lot longer to realise .
I wish you well as walk your own path 😊
Shared delusion is not love
@@CielVenus1 I pray that you will find the strength to be your authentic self. Only then can you experience being truly loved for who you really are.
Brother, you are NOT who you (think you) look like. Let that go. We can hear who you are and who you are is one awesome conqueror. You are doing amazing! You are a man of solid-rock character. Be at peace with yourself, knowing that you are a light in this world of darkness. Be at peace with being used by God to open the cages of those imprisoned. There is no better reason to live than this.
Your comment is beautiful, profound and so moving.
Amen!
Yes!
very well said!
Thank you so much for sharing your journey! Your videos really touch me and help me understand myself better. I feel they have a grounding effect on me and help me being in touch with something real within me. The older I get, the more I feel that maybe identity is an illusion. Maybe we are nothing and everything. Perhaps we should simply embrace being without questioning. In this regard, maybe we can learn from animals. I don't think they ever question their identity. They are just who they are. I hope this makes sense. I fully understand the psychological mechanisms behind the desire to reinvent oneself and escape the cruelty of societal reality. I think most of us do this in some way; almost no one shows their true self. You are one of the most emotionally real and vulnerable people on RUclips I have ever listened to.
Thank you Philip.... and yes, I agree with what you say here.
I feel the same. I am just a tiny speck of life but there are no boundaries to life, so i try not to cling to anything that may seem like a solid way to view myself forever. It is changing constantly.
I'm so very sorry for that little boy who was and is, you.
Thank you for working to express what you've learned. So often, as I listen, your words ring like only truth can. I'm 66 y/o and have never understood all that childhood trauma does and what the road out of the consequences, looks like. Now I do and so much now makes sense.
It's always been (to me) an understood that I should "pull up my socks and get on with life." At least, I thought that was it. Anything else was to "make too much of it." And "you don't have to look far to see someone who is "really" suffering." But I only ever thought that those beliefs were true for me. I never thought that anyone else's suffering should be disregarded. Only mine. (I'm fighting myself to not erase that. My brain is screaming, " What suffering? You never suffered. There you go again, whine, whine, whine.")
I clearly have a lot of work to do.
Thank you, Sam. What you are expressing is so very valuable. And so are you.
thanks for your thinking Sam. Thanks again. Great success to you and us.
Hi Sam - just wanted to say that it's a privilege to bear witness to your inner thoughts. Thank you for voicing the pain that many feel too disempowered and ashamed to express. Please don't ever feel that you are rambling, cos within your organic flow of words you touched upon so many things which made me able to release years of unshed tears! So that now I am smiling, instead of feeling so lost 💗 Take it easy and don't worry about how often you post, the quality of your videos outweighs any such burden😅 Xx
Thank you Grace. Those tears are essential, if only shedding them was a little easier ! X
Sam, praying for you! 🙏🙏 may you encounter the love of the living Christ who gives life, peace and healing.
It's not your fault Sam. And you are Divine expression of God. I see your soul spirit. I am living this transformation too. ❤
The scenery is as beautiful as your stories.
Much love and peace to you from Wisconsin, USA. You're a philosopher and poet, a beautiful, intelligent, interesting person. I think your struggle to communicate and express so sensitively is helping many to heal and move forward ❤❤❤🕊 Heaven loves you so very much and we do too
Thank you
🙏🏼🩷🙏🏼 please be gentle too, as gentle as you Were just there to the dog 🌸
❣
Watching your dogs frolicking in the river, truly enjoying the moment, and knowing you'll be going to the comfort of coffee and food in the cabin, seemed the perfect end to this particular segment. Thank you for your insights and help.
Wow Sam, what a wonderful video, so much insight again. You have helped me yet again on this journey of walking ourselves home….radical self acceptance, be more dog! Don’t you just love a spaniels enthusiasm for life…no questions, just be, here, now!
This made me think of the Rumi quote, which is certainly ringing true for me at the moment….”the wound is the place where the light enters in”. Acceptance of the wound because that’s where the journey within starts. You emanate light and so much wisdom. Thank you for the gift that was this video, and not only for the amazing scenery! Take care beautiful soul….❤️🙏🏻
Your comment is so beautiful, Kate. I love the Rumi quote. You are so kind to send such a heartfelt response to Sam. You are right, there is much insight in Sam's video, and also in your response to him. ❤
@@Elizabeth-arb22 thank you very much, a much needed boost right now….❤️ Take good care of yourself…🙏🏻
Keep peeling back the layers of the onion. Keep processing the things that rise up and then let them pass. We have kept in so much and each emotion held in needs you to see it. It takes time to work through it, to accept the enormity of our trauma and what it took. But then realising it was always going to happen, we needed certain things to elevate to the next level. Recognising and realising our TRUE self in Christ. We never fit in for a reason, we aren't of the world, we are here to ENRICH the world. Turn from the darkness to the light for the benefit of every person here. A big awakening family.
Beautifully said, thank you
Love this comment!
Yes my friend!❤
Once again Sam, here you are putting your beautiful heart on display to encourage us to accept ourselves and heal as you accept yourself and heal♥️
Sam, you are a gift from God and I praise God for you. You are deep goodness.
So good to see you again Sam. Your videos are so healing. Thank you! Your words are so true.
Call me Sam too. I just want you to know how much I’ve appreciated watching you share your story. I’ve been through tough times too & although my gender identity has remained stable; my personal sense of self has also been severely damaged. It was in mu 50’s when I began to address the acronyms that have come to define me in so many unpleasant ways. I thank you for reminding me to let go of things that have been to much, and to recognize the essential self that rises above labels that have been foisted on me. I just want you to know that you matter and help the world in major ways by sharing your truth. You’re the best teacher as you share your journey. If I may, I just want you to know I love you💕. You’re helping me stay the course in my recovery every time I listen. Thank you.
I live in Northern California, near a river, as I stand in the beauty around me, in this place of my recovery from a life of trauma, I often think of you. Thank you for being you Sam! We need more truth tellers in the world like you. 🙏🏻🌈🦋💕😊
Bless you, thank you so much for letting me know that my videos help. You have no idea just how much I needed to read these words this morning.
I wish you peace and I will do my best to continue to share as honestly as I can.
@@Call-Me-Sam 😊
Thank you for showing up and sharing Sam🌼
My pleasure. Thank you for the daisy
"That's all that really matters, really- truth." Your words are so profound. Thank you for sharing your heart. I hope and pray you find peace. Sending you love. (Love your sweet dogs!)
Thank you.
These are the words of a master guru.
Just finished the video and I was surprised to find that so many people already commented, 3 hours after it got posted. Sam, you have gathered a very wholesome and strong community around you, with your videos!
Also.. yay, Sam posted a new video, this is a good day! So many golden nuggets to think about, as always. Thank you for sharing 🤍
Keep going Sam. There is a beautiful authentic MAN emerging. From the deep inner healing of your sprit man, a divine work is happening as you walk this journey. It is a wonder to behold. Let it flow. No perfection needed as none is perfect. No not one. ❤️much love & grace to you sir. Thank you for sharing your lovely surroundings
Thank you for bringing some peace to my battle weary soul. Wishing you the same. ❤🩹
I noticed how kind you are with your dogs. They are happy and you have something to do with that.
Yes, dogs have really helped me heal .
Something to consider, each of us might have had a bad start, and even made some regrettable choices, but, no matter what we did or what others did that affected us, we can make a good finish. Look at you commanding those dogs so well! I believe the grieving and the understanding/ processing is important. I also believe you and God can make your life work well. External image is not what I am seeing here. I see honesty, I see courage, I see a loving man caring for his beloved dogs. I feel God is so pleased with the very capable man you are becoming every day. The truth is you are becoming quite a strong man.
Thank you. I feel it too.
You found your peace somewhat in nature, animals and knowing we are all connected…everything created are all connected🙏
Your honesty and courage inspires so many of us trying to come to terms with past abuse. Thank you thank you thank you 🙏💜
Thank you. I wish you well in your own healing.
@@Call-Me-Sam Thank you Sam 🙏💜
I really respect what you are doing. Stay true to everything you stated.
Thank you. Doing my best. For me, its essential.
Your honesty blows me away. Thanks Sam.
"That is all that matters... truth". And the truth sets you free. The radical acceptance of this moment.
The radical acceptance of oneself in this moment. To be present. Here and now. Thank you Sam.
Your sincerity, beauty and honesty makes a significant contribution to this heart here in my chest. Be blessed Sam.
It really resonates that you felt so corrupted you may hurt the trees...... I felt very similar at one point too. Beautiful and authentic and I love how you said “we can find our innocence again”. I found this very healing, thank you 🙏 x
I felt so bad for him there. So glad he is on the other side of that evil.
I think you might be the most relatable person on the internet!
Thank you
I wish so deeply my father could see how you are able to see now. He didn’t transition but he was abused as a child and carries it with him, to the point of extreme coping: he’s a “functioning” alcoholic (no such thing, really). I desperately wish he would face the pain the way you’ve been able to, because I just want him to find some sort of peace on the other side. And self-acceptance. It’s probably selfish of me to want this for him, I don’t even know anymore. Thank you for sharing with us. 🙏🏼
I think we all must reach our threshold of what we can deal with. My own father is completely shut off, heartbreaking though it is , all we can do is accept them as they are.
No it's not selfish. It's very loving of you.
Keep praying for him.
I’m praying for your dad now and hope others here will do the same. There is hope. We are not alone in our pain.
The outer (Yang) and inner (Yin) path of The Hero/Heroine's Journey... Becoming a Master of your Self... So admire your vulnerability, strength, intellect. You are deeply Loved DearHeart 🙏🫂❣
Totally amazing man ! It’s like I want to stop at every sentence.
Im just watching your video again and totally missed when you mentioned that you hurt people and that you are sorry. THAT realisation also came to me and my desire for forgiveness was the catalyst for my transformation. What a blessing it is that we do indeed receive forgiveness if that is what we truly want.
This was not a ramble, it made so much sense to me.
Every shred of pain I feel is the truth of me crying "no!" to abuse. I hate "no", I hate how limited it is, and yet absolute. I hate how it blinds me to what else is out there. But my pain crying "no" IS the truth of me. It is where my peace begins, and where the world opens itself to me, it is where I am.
Sam, thank you, God bless you, He is carrying you on eagles wings. We are not alone.
This made perfect sense to me too, I felt the power in your words. So often I feel blinded too. Thank you and no, we are never alone.
I’m always so greatful that you share your journey. It’s been such a learning experience that has helped me while I work thru my own trauma. I haven’t faced a gender crisis. I feel that we all learn to find ourselves thru deep inner work. ❤
18:55 yes... we will receive our hearts desire
Oh, Sam...you and your honesty and generosity are magnificent. Much love and a giant virtual hug from Canada🇨🇦 ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ 🌹☀️
LOL @your dogs at the end! I also have dogs and they have been such a huge part of my healing. So glad you got your little buddies to share the love!
You are a light in a dark world. Congratulations on living life as the best version of yourself as God intended for you. Uniquely created by the Creator of the universe. to be only you. God bless you for sharing your story. You are a conqueror.!!!
People can't unstand the pain unless they go through your abuse. Your entire world changes forever.
I appreciate your wisdom and insight--shared. I struggle (almost constantly) with rumination and bad memories. As you say, radical acceptance is the answer. Living fully in the moment is proving a difficult habit to form. Would appreciate your prayers, and be assured of mine for you. Peace to you.
Sam ❤ you are such a powerful soul 🪷🕊 you are a true healer and a powerful voice. G-d crushes us and uses us; your experience is very important for the whole; you’ve literally embodied the masculine and feminine and come full circle to a healing/healed masculine. You have a G-d given mission, you can speak from both perspectives. Look at what just happened at the Olympics (boxing) it’s not random. Your life is and has always been perfect 🕊🙏
Your strength and honesty are a GIFT to us all! Your journey has helped unveil my eyes to some of my past. I don't feel as disconnected anymore. It was paralyzing to believe that there is just something wrong with me, and now I understand the why, and feel like I can actually move forward. May this next chapter of our lives be healing and renewed
Thank you, Sam, for sharing your heart, for baring your soul, for showing us beautiful scenery and darling dogs. Thank you for sharing a laugh and the joy of caring for sweet dogs. Jesus loves you very much. He sees the internal man, and I do, in a way, through His eyes, too.
Healing is happening in you is also what I see.
You are indeed a beautiful soul Sam🙏🌹🌹🌹💙💙💙🦋✨
Thank you for your comments this morning
I have been praying for you Sam. The answers really lie with your Creator , who loves you ...the Lord Jesus who will carry you and heal your broken heart 💔 you can find out who God made you to be and you can be restored ! Watching and praying from New Zealand
As a mother and grandmother, your story is both foreign and relatable. Wishing you the very best Sam.
Thank you
Sam, your wisdom is beautifully shared in each video. And you become clearer with each recording. It is a blessing to listen to you. 🌿At one point I was reminded of a technique I used to dialogue with my wounded child. The Wisdom of the Other Hand, it is called. I asked questions with my dominant hand, questioning as my current, adult self. And my inner child came through the somewhat awkward writing of my non-dominant hand. It might be a useful tool for you or others who are on the journey of self-understanding, forgiveness and peace. 🌿 Thank you for your recordings. Although I seem to have worked through most of my childhood issues in my now 70 years on this beautiful planet, not a day goes by now that I am not asked to look again at issues I dealt with in the past, and question what my current response is, or if a response, a repositioning, or a total evaluation is appropriate or required. Your words, your heart shared are good for my soul in these moments. Thank you.❤️🤗
Thank you so much Rosalind, this is helpful.
I don’t know you but I love you❤ thank you for your light
What a beautiful place you live in, that’s a gorgeous river and healthy green vegetation! I have a watched several of your videos, and I’m so very happy to know that somehow you have reached your inner healing.
I love to pray for people, and please be sure that your going to be in my prayers from now on.
Be blessed Sam. I love your dogs!
Thank you for your prayers.
The first smile I have seen on your strong, stoic face! You are becoming really real❤️
Your property is beautiful! And your thoughts are courage are too. Thank you for being there - people need to hear you as much as you need to speak and share....
Thank you. This just the woodland around my friends house , the dogs are hers, I was just looking after them today .
Thank you so from all my heart, I've said it before. Please don't give up, observe, but do not give into the cruel thoughts. Imagine, someone like me is on the other side of the earth and sees herself (detrans ftm) in you, this abstract companionship by itself is very precious, I pray for your resilience and for tenderness to come all your way.
Thank you
I suffer from CPTSD and your videos make me feel better, they give me hope.
Thats good to hear, thank you for letting me know. I wish you peace .
I just came across this video and wanted to watch it because I watched one you did prior… Not sure how long ago… and it was so intriguing to hear your story and everything you’ve been through, what got you there and then what has helped to get you where you’re at today. I’m so sorry for everything that you have been through, but I just have to share that your heart and soul come through so clearly on these recordings … You are such a sweet and gentle man. I don’t know where you stand with believing in Jesus - I happen to be a Christian, but that aside for the moment … I think you’re awesome and looking “outside in”, you remind me a lot of myself because you’re so damn hard on yourself. 😊 And I know people tell me all the time that I am on myself. Seeing what incredible value you have and the value you share with the world makes me realize that I probably have value more than I realize as well. Thank you for being strong enough to share your story and for being vulnerable. Please understand you have a great value and everyone has screwed up and done horrible things that we’re ashamed of. Let’s remove that rearview mirror for at least a little bit so you can focus on the present and what exciting things are to come for you in your future. I pray for health, peace and wisdom for you. 🙏🏻💙
Thank you
Thank you, Sam, again for sharing yourself so honestly and beautifully.
In my journey I found some readings helpful:
Psalm 139 "I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well."
Frederick Buechner, whose father committed suicide when he was 10: says in "Telling Secrets" -
"The original, shimmering self gets buried so deep that most of us end up hardly living out of it at all. Instead we live out all the other selves, which we are constantly putting on and taking off like coats and hats against the world weather."
Sam, I think that's one of the things you have been getting at, to become "the shimmering self" that God made each us uniquely to be.
Jesus said (prophetically from Isaiah 61):
"The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me (the Messiah), because he has anointed me to preach the good news to the poor.
He sent me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free those who are oppressed (downtrodden, bruised, crushed by tragedy), to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord." (Luke 4:18)
It also says in Isaiah 53 that he was "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief."
As I continue to put my trust in the Lord Jesus, I have found him to be the most understanding, the most authentic, the most generous, the most kind Person in the universe , and He has preached to my poor soul, he has provided released to my captive places, given recovery of sight in my soul and continues to heal wounded places where I've been imprisoned.
Sam, thank you for providing this safe place for people to come and listen and learn and share.
PS, I love your dogs! ❤
Thank you. This is very helpful.
A lovely place for a lovely soul. Don’t stop being you. It means so much to so many.
Sam I love your videos
Thank you for sharing
It’s really giving and generous
Praying for your healing journey and for the Lord to meet you in all the places 🙏🏼
Thank you
@@rebeccawoolley8519 ❤️
Only just found your latest video , as I am not receiving notifications .Really enjoyed your video and the wonderful peaceful scenery that you are walking through . At the moment I am going through a bad patch as the old tapes are still playing in my head from the bad therapy I went to years ago ,It helps me to listen to your soothing voice and insites .
Thank you so much, Sam, for sharing your heart. You will never really know how much these videos help me make sense of my own crazy life. Blessings to you. ♥ 🐾 ♥
Thank you so much for sharing the beauty of the landscape and your heart. Your words put out to the world have resonated and restored so much in my own journey. Much love.
Thank you Jean, glad to be a part of your journey
I love your videos and so appreciate your openness. Your comment about us being unique and that no one is exactly like us was very true, but not something I ever really thought about. I like that you said to quit trying to be someone else, and just be you. I went through something myself recently, not anything near what you have gone through, but something troubling to me. Just out of nowhere, I discovered another RUclips contributor who said something that provided me peace. That peace has never left me. If you are listening to yourself, have peace in the knowledge that you have found yourself. Nothing is your fault. Take care, enjoy the beauty of nature that surrounds you, and enjoy the company of the animals you are blessed to have around you. Animals are God's gift to man and know us better than we know ourselves.
You are not who you thought you were, which is true for most of us as we look at our younger selves. Sam, you are not that. Instead you are a son of God the Father. You belong to that Family. I hope you find this out. God bless you for your honesty.
Sam a big hug from Barcelona. Thank you for charing❤
I understand you Sam 💯….the created world vs the real world. Within and without and I hope you reach many many people with your message. Very few of us live in reality. We escape and like you said, what we constructed and what’s real causes a huge shift and can we confront the shift fearlessly. Do we want it? Leaving our virtual comfort zone?
And Porridge awwww. Beautiful place!
It's always very beautyful to hear your reflection of yourself in the world around you.
Like the Tolteks describe life - as a mirror, so do we find wisdom in our unbiased reflection in life.
Hearing you talk reminds me of what things that I know but I forget to practice. Because we build our habits as children and then we solidify them as adults in the never ending cicle of survival but a bad habit can only be replaced with a good one, it cannot be removed. Your videos I find a reminder - to practice the good habit. And you will see it in yourself that to be healthy ism't a one time decision, but one that you have to make every day, to turn it into a habit.
Thank you sharing the beauty of your inner self, thought and feelings.
I found that when we struggle to explain with words, what we feel, it's always good to find literature that helps us put those understandings we come to, into worlds.
I'm also glad to not hear an apology for not uploading more often. :D
Seems like there is more awareness of your limits and appreciation of them. As I like to say: "When we apologize for us (...), the apology is for ourselves to ourselves." and there is nothing to apologize for as we are all that we are.
You traveled, you're a body that traveled
We all experienc the corruption within in many different ways, we just don’t say it out loud🙏💙💙💙
That was a great whistle.
Dear Sam, Thanks for your touching words again. They touch me. You say you came to a point where all your copingpatterns didn’t work anymore. In work, that happened to me too. I broke. But now for quite some time in my sickleave, I am still as hardworking/ pleasing/ put pressure on my days to earn my right to exist- I work so hard to heal myself and develop my awareness- and connect with people. I do excersizes, read books, talk about stuff, try to eat healthy , do sport,etc etc. It is never enough at the end of the day.
I still don’t let go of my old patterns on that area…. I don’t know how to “ do my day” without judging all the time whether I do it well enough..
I wish I would be more true to my needs and how I choose to do things. Very difficult for me.. I wonder if you or anybody else has a reaction on this…. Thanks !!
Hi Barbara .... Yup, I hear you. Change comes very slowly for us. The most important element is relationships with good people that understand not just us but also the spiritual reality that is the foundation of our being. The most important relationship is with the source of our being , its where we begin and end.
I know it's difficult but learning to meditate is essential I think.... in the past I have had a good consistent practice and it really did help creating some inner space around our issues but that inner space became an outer calm and stillness that I could occupy.
As I type , I look down at my desk where there is a sheet of paper with one word on it " Change "
We can do it but only in kindness and compassion and in relationships.
One last thing .... when you are judging or criticising, imagine your child self, thats who you talking to. Be gentle, be tolerant, be kind .
@@Call-Me-Sam o wauw Sam, thank you very much!!! I will read this repeatedly!
@@barbarah6002 Meditation really helps. Even for 20 mins in the a.m before you do anything else , then 20 mins in the p.m. This is what I'm doing now. I only just started again but am determined to make this a part of my practice . Good luck to you.
@@Call-Me-Sam yes- indeed: I meditate and have online Buddhist lessons twice a day. It really helps to take the storylines in my mind less seriously. I even now can lower my dose of medication against anxiety.
@@barbarah6002 Well done !
You are one of my inspirations. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story and insights. 🙏🏻
Thank you. As I said in this video, those that comment inspire me also.
Such a great name Ziggy awww. Love you Sam. I reposted one of your videos and people mistook you for me :) We look somewhat alike though I'm the boyish female version. Much love and solidarity, Kim.
Good morning Sam I have been listening to you of and on for some months it breaks my hearth for you yes responsible but don’t be to hard on yourself you are so use to pain and with what you know now let go and move into your present believe me your ok
❤ kind words, honest words give hope your a teacher
Thank you Sam for these videos. Our ultimate purpose on this Earth is to worship God and be an example to others. You are doing that by helping so many people understand the Truth.
Your honesty and truth are so powerful. Your videos help me with my own healing. Thank you for sharing your heart with the world Sam. You are beautiful as you are. I’m always cheering for your victories as you heal.🦋❤️🙏
Thank you, I'm very happy these videos help.
When we come to our senses in the Light, we look back and have so much compassion for our damaged selves. And we slowly start to take responsibility for our lives...as we are.... for me it is a body cu t to pieces by self h@rm which I no longer hide.
The light is beautiful and your words are like honey...
Thank you. Your comment has given me much needed strength this morning.
@@Call-Me-Sam I am so glad that my words benefited you in some way. I find this world a ruthless and vain place and every tiny bit of kindness and love goes a loooooooong way.
Yes, I agree. Today I had a bit of a mystical experience . A flash of realisation, some words just popped into my head and I knew that " all is abstract but love, love is real."
As I repeated these words I started to cry. Relief I think .
@@Call-Me-Sam I believe this to be true too, that only love continues on, because it is the only thing of substance, even though we cannot not see it. Yet it makes us full and satisfies us...
When I was at the beginning of my "breakdown" which was really a break through, I asked my husband "Neil, what is the purpose of us being here? Tell me, cos Im literally losing my mind" He said he didnt know and then he said "Maybe it is to love one another" It was then that I knew I had heard truth.
I often wondered what my tears were about and I think you hit the nail on the head, it is some sort of release... a release I still do not understand... but thats ok lol
This journey to the truth is both beautiful and hard (for me anyway) but it is so nice when I meet a fellow traveler.
Have a love filled day!
Yes i found myself too. I wasnt any of the things i thought i was at all! Yes, to be found. Yes, to find yourself right here in this present moment was everything to me, to realise im unique and loved!!!
Im really enjoying your videos. Im not a transitioner or detransitioner but I resonate with loads of it as ive been suffering with complex trauma. I have also enjoyed your conversations with Cori, who is so funny and you two are great conversationists together! Great mix of humour and profundity! ❤
Thank you. I think I'm sharing a universal journey that really is the human journey toward peace and selflessness but made more complex because of trauma and transition !
I have found that those of us that know complex trauma really do speak the same language, no matter the nature of the trauma.
I look forward to Cori and I recording again as soon he feels up for it . Hopefully not too long . 😊
@@Call-Me-Sam Yes this is very true! It's about identity which is at the heart of trauma. I have also had dealings with the medical tyranny which has attacked my body. I think our bodies are attacked because they don't want us to find out how powerful our bodies are. But I'm still early on my journey I'm still ill but I'm on a path of healing which is balm to my soul. Thank you, carry on the good work. You're really helping ❤ I think we have similar early years traumas. I'm discovering trauma can be a gateway to your soul ❤
Tee hee. When you whistled for the dogs you really got my dog's attention. He popped up and stared in direction of the sound for a couple of minutes. :)
Bless
hi Sam, I dont know what I could say to you that could make you feel better about yourself. I want to tell you that you matter. What you had to go through was excruciating pain but you must know that YOU ARENT ALONE IN SUFFERING in this world. Reach out to others and share your pain with others if you could. The younger Sam would be okay once again :) Take care Sam. God so love you! Keeping you in my prayers.
As i write this comment I see directly to the right the title of a video: Healing Begins with Confrontation. How apropos. From having lived/swam in depths of Truth and grief, having to forgive yourself and others (from the unforgiveable as another who did the same in a BIGGER Way) -- you carry great meaning/strength -- and have become a highly competent journey/way shower for others who need a strong hand to hold, words of encouragement, a flashlight, as they/we all, stumble through darkness into Light of Truth. These are the days, now is the time.
All the best.
Thank you
Such a brave, wonderful vlog, Sam. Thank you for your truth and vulnerability. I was so glad to see the notification that you had posted. Take great care ❤
Love you Sam ❤
well done you 😘...we have to keep going ....Sam your bravery to do these videos gives people so much understanding and hope x
Thank you
such a beautiful walk. honesty is also beautiful. bravery in the Truth of all the bad things we have done in the past. when we know better, we do better. those dogs recognize the beauty of Sam being true.
Hey Sam...such a beautiful share...I was happy to see you had put up a video .
Thank you so much for showing up with such realness and authenticity.
I always feel the potency of your shares...they always remind me of Satsangs ( meeting in truth)
You always express with such poetic clarity ...certain lines hit so hard, yet bring such lightness...
So many takeaways from your words ...
I love the paradox of living with uncertainity rather than certainity ...you said something along those lines ..
In the sense of dropping what you think you know, or who you think you are, and instead, to live in the pregnant pause of uncertainity..the mystery, and let it reveal the truth of who you are .
Im still discovering who I really am...it does take courage...there is a lot of grief comes up...
Sometimes the feeling youre heading in the right direction, then sometimes as if youre hanging onto the edge of a cliff by your fingernails.
Im still hiding...
Makes me wonder if theres still things unmet hiding in me .
But also recognise theres a ripening taking place in the hiding.
Love you ✨️💛
Hi Jazz. You're on The Path ! Xx
Beautifully said. I was in a abusive relationship and in a cult seems so long ago now. I did break free but so so scary at that time because Ididn't know how to be in the world at all. I'm still transforming at 65 now. I'm not so scared anymore and I guess I'm a bit of a rebel now. I ride my horse in nature and inhale it all as it brings me peace and so it heals in a way. So blessed to have found you necause it's all b design. I still don't like groups and enjoy having alone time. It can be difficult and what you say is so useful to me.
Wonderful. The pure being of animals really does help bring us into alignment with truth . Lovely .
❤ I'm so thrilled you came up in my feed ...it has been so long...but in the spirit, I've got your back starting NOW...your total recovery is just within reach...get ready... I Love every bit of you , SAM. 💕 🙋🌹GA USA 🇺🇸✌️
Sam, you are so gentle with your dogs. It made me cry to see you and hear your pain while you speak so sweetly to your pups. I wizh I could hug you. If you put your trust in Jesus, you will be restored and fully healed in eternity. I expect a hug when I meet you there. Praying for healing. God loves you right where you are in your journey. ❤🙏
Thank you
Sam! So good to hear your voice and your thoughts, I can tell you I have missed you. Glad to know you keep moving forward and upwards to a heavenly, supernatural reality.❤
We can't believe how much childhood sexual and mental abuse ca cause so much damage. I am a 65 year old male and can't get rid of the pain. Yo never see the end of the pain. I live a a life with no feelings. I am hollow inside. Years of therapy only help you survive. We all need your prayers.
I'll pray for you Ricky .
Sam, I love to hear you laugh because it means for that moment, everything else falls away and you are completely in the present, experiencing joy. Dogs will do that for us.
Thank you. YES ! dogs are the best for bringing us into their joy.
Sam , you are so lovely and so amazin . It is incredible to listen to you . X
Thank you.
Yes, you do have to acknowledge your mistakes. You have done that. It is time for you to also acknowledge the person you have become and step forward into your future.
work in progress. Thank you
We all have scars Sam. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Somehow you touched my heart. 😘