I agree and we get shocked when we get 'noticed' without even trying.....I have had a few very close friends who told me something I didn't know. When they first met me they were at ore with my presence and thinking 'who's this person'? They say it was the 'energy or aura' and the attraction of someone who's just smiling without outering a word.
To be an INFJ can be a gift and a curse; a gift because we can engage in almost any topic at hand, and with any one and a curse because most of everyone else’s of level of consciousness comes from the “visible”.
One of my past teammates referred to me by complimenting me in this way “I don’t want to say you’re confident, but only because I can’t think of a stronger word...” I guess when we’re driven towards a goal that we believe in, our inner force is unstoppable, and that in itself is magnetic and charismatic to others.
So true! I bought a house last year. My girlfriend sometimes was like: "argh we'll never get a nice house with this competition", and I was like all confident, there was no question about it that we would find a house eventually.
@@TeraHammer because we have intuition, faith & vision. (I also think our spirit guides look out for us a lot because they know we are practically challenged and guide us in the right direction).
I've always found others were magnetically attracted to me, and being very patient and empathetic, people would tell me their problems, secrets and heartaches. I've always been a good listener, and find people interesting. I care about them and want them to be encouraged, and feel understood by me. I like to give them time, and acceptance. This makes me satisfied. I've always wanted to add value to at least one person's life every day. It's good for us as INFJs to find our own Jetstream, our place of flow, our sweet spot. Thank you for this video Ren. So much of it resonated with me.
This charisma of an INFJ is something I both love and hate at the same time. I particularly noticed that I can used it to my advantage by being able to navigate myself through a person's emotion at the time and give back a summary of how s/he really feels and therefore feels understood. Its easier to make people agree to terms when they feel understood or acknowledged. However the charisma also unfortunately attracts people who are either broken or who have negative aura. They seem to want to stick to me and it really sucks the life out of me with just spending 30 minutes with them. So Ive been really carefully in these recent years not to "go out there" so much as I tend to attrack these kinds of beings and they are very hard to shake. Please dont get me wrong, I actually feel guilty about this. However i also need to take care of myself and distancing from them seems to be the most effective.
I know right i am like sitting alone want to be part of the crowed and then someone just comes up to me and starts talking to me like nothing which is okay for me sometimes because i think listening to diffrent people is kinda intresting lol
Ditto! I find myself hiding from coworkers at my office because it can be quite draining listening to people. Does anybody else feel kind of lonely sometimes? I find myself feeling lonely at time because I feel like I listen to everybody, but can’t find somebody that actually takes an interest in how I’m doing. Can anybody relate?
@@alexg8327 indeed, but the fact is most of the time i personnaly don't share my worries with others, cause i see it as a weakness, like i am supposed to solve them by my own.
I believe our charisma comes from us having this genuine, authentic presence and even if we don't share everything with everybody we meet, the first impression of us is always that. We also tend to be quite well mannered which also helps. Charisma doesn't necessarily have to be something that can lead people into battle, having insight mixed with a genuine presence and the ability to read people like an open book and always cater to their mood will always make people treat us with respect. Or at least that's how i see it from my experience.
Did you know that we communicate first and foremost from subconscious signals from the heart, which emits more powerful EMF than any organ of the body, even our brains? So when we're tuned in to the love-of-life frequency, we're attention magnets.
“We can build confidence in knowing we are special like that, and fully accepting our sensitivity and empathy. Because our charisma depends more on our ability to be sensitive and empathic than on being rational and strong, in the traditional sense, like tough. We are strong and charismatic via our sensitivity and empathy. “ ❤️ this took me 47 years to understand.
I was always extremely shy which maybe came off as not strong or tough, but when in a position to protect my loved ones I was surprised to not back down when others did in very scary situations. Maybe it’s true. Still waters run deep.
A few years back I took a test with a career counselor. My top result was 'nurse.' I'd never, ever aspired to become a nurse before, but the counselor reminded me that the results of the test were based on my having characteristics and values similar to those of nurses who really happened to love their job. So it doesn't mean that I should necessarily drop what I'm doing and become a nurse, tending to the physical wounds of others. Fast forward a few months, and I'm listening attentively to an older woman who is telling me about some deep hurts she's felt in her relationship with a sibling. "Oh my gosh," she says, completely out of nowhere, "You're like a nurse." I asked her what she meant by that. She said, "You just have this ability to look at another person's pain without flinching or making them feel bad for it, and it's very comforting." Your assessment is spot on. I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to mimic, or practice, the charisma of other types. I've even had people tell me that I lack enthusiasm or character (particularly in job settings). And even though it hurts to hear that, I know deep down it is because they have never really seen me in the proper context that these INFJ strengths thrive in. Thanks so much for another great video! Very clarifying.
Darren T Atherton finding out who we are, what makes us tick, and what we bring to life can be a long process. It's liberating to be making progress with that. So pleased to read this part of your personal growth is bringing you deeper satisfaction and insights. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. (BTW, my profession has been critical care nurse and mentor, so I well understand what you've said here).
Weird. I think other peoples pain would really repel me. I had an aha moment a few years back when I realized ever job I've ever had, had a teching aspect to it.
I’m an INFJ and I didn’t want to be a nurse, but nursing chased me down.😅 been at it for 20 yrs now and it suits me well. Just have to learn emotional boundaries and I don’t work more than 30rs/week to prevent burnout. ❤
The charisma of listening to what people say and most importantly what they don't say or can't seem to admit to themselves. Also the fact that INFJs speak thoughtfully so when they say sth they come across as wise mysterious and that makes them hella charismatic and sexy. I'm getting addicted to those videos 😇😊
About the seven-minute mark, you seem to be describing the chameleon effect of the INFJ, the way that we mold our behavior to emulate that of the person we are communicating with.
This is true to a point. I have never considered myself as charismatic, but I can admit there is a strange quality that people are drawn to. I think as I have gotten older, people are less apt to approach me because I tend to avoid very public places where I am required to be complacent for just enough time to be approached (ie: lines, public transport, crowded aisles of stores, etc). Typically, if I am at the park reading, or at the gym, I am left alone as those are places where people feel too vulnerable to approach another person. However, in those rare instances when someone catches me, they tend to talk to me as if I have known them their entire lives. I have had conversations with people where I was simply a sounding board for them to vent, bounce ideas off of, or tell their deepest secrets to. I know some dark stuff about some people I will never see again, and there is beauty in that.
Your definition of our charisma type is spot on. I have to reign in my empathy though because I’ve been used by a few narcissist types but the door slam happens very quickly towards these types. And I’m just talking about acquaintances I had at work who I thought were potential friends. Did not work out. When I don’t follow my initial instincts about someone I’m always wrong to not follow them because I find out always my intuition about that person was spot on every time.
YEAH, Same!! I can literally meet someone for 2mins and I have a pretty good idea of them. So when really reveal themselves, I m not surprised. Like pple with anger issues 🙄 oh gosh. And also usualky when I dont follow my instincts I regret it and it teaches me a lesson everytime.
Yes. Have you looked up Bruce Lipton on the Biology of Perception? He discusses how the heart is our prime communication transceiver, and when it's sending out the attraction vibe it's like child's play getting people's attention. And when we're in don't-even-look-at-me mode, that comes across too.
Very well explained. I need an INFJ close friend in real life. ENFJ here. That Charisma you say can also lead to leadership when many people trust you and you become the best friend of most of them and the pivot of the group.
Yes, I agree - the INFJ charisma largely draws from the talent for shedding light in dark corners whether it's with an individual or a group or other forum. We can also bring the value of illuminating entire conceps but so are other types. I find on average I'm most valued for delivering the missing piece or making the unseen connection.
I'm pretty sure I'm INFJ but I've always thought I was the least charming/charismatic person I know. I actually think others find me quite boring despite thinking I'm weird and/or mysterious. I never find myself boring because I love to explore my own thoughts but I'm pretty sure others do. I just don't have the projected energy that other people seem to have. Maybe because I always seem to find myself around pretty outgoing, charismatic people I tend to fade into the background. I'm usually overlooked. The very few people who actually get to know me somewhat do tend to come to me when they want someone to listen to them or get some advice though.
My INFJ charisma has given me a vulnerability that has not served me well in the past. I have yet to filter out the bad guys from those with good intentions. Who is there to help the INFJs when we need it?
I got the same problem... But i think i have improved over the past couple of years that i am able to identify them.. However, not so much yet of blocking them. Its best to really first read a person and find patterns that can help you identify if a person is more of a "taker"... What I do is I actually physically distance myself from these people.. Because even their aura or vibes can cause negative phyiscal effect on me (its hard for me to write this line as i dont want to sound like i have a "power" of some sort but it really feels that way) that i get sick.. I usually do alone time in the middle of the day to recharge.. It help a lot :)
Intuition. The gut feelings you get about a person are usually right. Pay attention to how they act and the things that they say (especially about others when they're not around)
Problem is we can’t hold onto it long enough to be able to enjoy it. People only see it in us for a fleeting moment - before they go back to thinking we’re just weird.
What you started saying at 9:03 is so true.. I would add though, that it's not necessarily paraphrasing what someone has said but rather interpreting what their words actually mean. It's because we are good at using our intuition to read between the lines and identify exactly what it is that the person is thinking or feeling when they react a certain way or when they say certain things...
Strangers approach me and spill their guts like I'm their shrink. And usually after a few minutes I speak up , and they say that's exactly the advice I needed.
Renaud, thank you for posting these videos. I found out late in life I am an INFJ. We need a social dating site to help us connect with people of value. We are the most misunderstood of all personality types.
Yes and yes 😉 Brilliant examples and insight. Ren :) Thank you time well spent with you.I often seen this as a free spirit as well. People feel comfortable to be themselves when we are around. We definitely make people respond to us. We inspire and give hope. People like to be around us for sure. We as INFJ's are just Being ourselves. True and Authentic. We show up everyday. Childlike but Wise. 💜 almost world weary. Love this! Grateful. We find connection in everything we do and say. Awesome job here, you are amazing! WoW! Nice to know truly to find the INFJ connection. ❤❤❤ I was told at a young age by many of older folks, they would say to me " You are special, truly a gift" And the way you said that at end of video made me remember I was told that by many through out my life.😊
Typical infj crying at the end of this video because he was so deeply understood... Gdi I will embrace my deep thought as a strength till my last breath... Ty Ren, I needed this
You touched on something very important, synthesis. I NFJ is the soul of knowing how to pull all of the disparate parts out of the air to make a perspective… At any given moment. I believe we keep these these things and reuse them in different combinations. Remember the movie minority report? Where Tom Cruise was moving information around with his hands that’s the Way an I NFJ mind works I think at least mine does
Our charisma is from our oblivious nature of our charisma, I am guessing. We just are ourselves. Authenticity is really important to me, more so than charisma. Thank you again, for this video. You summed up my whole channel’s purpose to connect ideas in a deeper and meaning way to give insight to others.
From an INFJ: Your gaze is so intent I forget to blink, ahhaha. And I noticed trying to imitate you when you tilted your head. Not creepy at all...Maybe there is such a thing as being too honest. But overall, you are speaking my language. It's so refreshing, listening to someone and understanding, not only words said, but understanding on a whole different level. Like you are feeding the world inside my head. And every new sentence holds more meaning and when I comprehend what you are trying to say, it's like I can hear these clicks going off in my head. Wow! Fulfilling ahahhaha
I think an INFJ charisma is also kindness and it's visible on our faces. We don't understand cruelty. Oh! I know what it is...it's a feeling. It's not something you perceive with the eye. It's like, your heart is attracted to that persons warmth, as though it can sense the goodness in them. Well...I basically rephrased everything you said about aura hahaha ^_^ yeah. Another point. Because we can be a little strange (and when I say little I mean...) I think people feel right at home with us. They can be themselves. Knowing, they will be loved for who they are. We tend to see the good in everyone.
Welp. There was not one thing incorrect about this description. If he didn’t hit the 10 minute wall. I guarantee he could have described this for 2 hours in detail that would make you think he wrote a book about it. It’s a true INFJ. I just discovered the MB system this week. It’s helping me really reassess my shortcomings now knowing my type of consciousness isn’t a secret. You’re a legend. I’m commenting a year later, and the channel hasn’t exploded, but you’re helping people. I just wanted you to know that. Cheers.
I think your distinction between t-type charisma and f-type is especially helpful. Our INFJ charisma strikes me as much more about an unconscious pull than overt confidence, which is why we can become muddled and awkward and why we can give people so much of a mixed up impressed. Of the MBTI types, INFJ seems especially prone to contradition.
Yep, I agree about the contradictions of the INFJ! Did you watch my video on the "Paradoxes" of the INFJ? There are definitely moments when I can become muddled and awkward.
Yes, I always say I am a walking contradiction, lol. But to those who truly understand, it isn't contradiction, It's just when you truly boil it down, depth. A deep individual is going to be seen as contradictory because of their abililty to comprehend many different perspectives at once. For the INFJ that is crucial to feeling out how to interact with people and most of the time, we are right in our intuitions due to our love for seeing patterns about people and using that to our ability. I think most of this contributes to our charisma as well. That and our warmth and tendency to be genuine.
I like helping people. Until some take advantage of that LOL I agree with what you said, Ren. Charisma increases in direct proportion to ones confidence in themselves.
Excellent perspective Ren! I am an INFJ - Assertive type and I find my most joy when I can crystalize the essence of a problem or a solution for the group. And that radiates confidence and leads to charisma
You know, I didn't even know anyone liked me until I worked as a medical receptionist and people stayed extra time just to talk to me. I was so shy that it came as a shocker that I all of a sudden became so many people's 'confidante' and they always commented on my calm nature. I would call someone up and suddenly hear that person's life story about how they abandoned their baby, got divorced etc. And my boss could never understand how I knew so much about everyone and their names. Sadly, he became unhealthily jealous (even though he was quite honestly a very charismatic (maybe ENFJ?) person. He started to spread rumors about me so I had to quit. Great video.
Hi WOF. I would like to suggest a topic for one of your videos. It's a bit of a conundrum but one that has intrigued me as an INFJ. Here it is: if Se is our least developed function, why does beauty has such an effect on us? Why are we so moved profoundly by the beauty of the world? Also, why are INFJs the most poetic of all of the types? Thanks!
That's an interesting question! I will definitely bookmark it as a potential video topic. I think the sketch of answer might be via conceiving of Ni-Se as an axis of perception: the "data" that we unconsciously gather in the environment is Se-based, though we synthesize it internally with Ni. Would you say that INFJs are more poetic than INFPs?
INFJ are said to be more poetic than INFPs and in some ways you can see this through your idea of how INFJ relates to the Platonic forms. If Ni is someone who can tap into these "ideals", both consciously and unconsciously, it is not a far stretch to see that poetry (i.e. metaphor or simile) would be the best way of approximately a description that for many others may be ineffable but for the INFJ is a direct experience and so they are much better at giving this experience a form through words. Just riffing on ideas here.
I second this idea! I have been plagued by feeling that I am too superficial. I am truly inspired by beauty of all sorts. I love having everything aesthetic and when its just so, I feel at peace. But yes, it seems contradictory that we would be inspired by beauty even though our Se is not as strong. But as I have said before, were walking contradictions!
Yes! We are profoundly moved by beauty. It is a spiritual dimension of our lives, and we need it to refresh us emotionally. Beauty has a transcendent quality; I've been aware of that since earliest memories in childhood.
Cheers, Ren. Thank you. I’ve watched many INFJ videos since 2012 when I identified my type, and I must say I enjoy your analyses the most. And I can’t even quantify my gratitude for your encouragement to embrace our strength in empathy and sensitivity. It’s a wonderful reminder to engage honestly with the world rather than try to replicate the success I perceive from others’ style. My only concern is how quiet our value is, coupled with how narrow our optimal lane of operation. Anyway. Thanks again 🙏
I personally find that the one two combination of Introverted intuition and extroverted feeling has led me to counseling with my church. People ask me to coffee and ask me for my input knowing that they can trust in my promise of confidentiality.The NI/FE combination allows me the insight and the charisma to be approachable. It is a great gift that is to be used wisely. I do like your channel, keep up the good work
They think we see who they are, giving them an Ego boost. But what we actually see is what you're NOT. Funny that. But then, people DO tend to see what they want in mirrors...
so refreshing and positive to listen to you.i never thought much of me as an infj least of all having charisma probably because i have always be treated as the black sheep of the family.but i had 3 experiences(just in the last couple of years not going back too far)twice in the same airport and once in a dfferent airport where people i had never seen before either confide in me their life or intrusted me to look after their suitcase.may be that's what you are talking about??? is it??
Pretty late comment here x) I realised that maybe, it’s that charisma that makes my very old best friend (ENFJ btw) talks that easily about her thoughts, doubt, or feelings, (especially feelings) during my school years… Back then i was thinking i was just being quiet and patient enough but i realised recently with another very close friend (an INFP) with whom i spoke a lot, that he was became at ease to speak about his feelings very quickly. He also says that i helped him a lot during his difficult periode, even if we could have some period of arguments. I strange how my words have effects him sometimes… i really feel usefull and it’s fulfilling when it happens And its best when i genuinely feel invested and when i feel i can really had a new perspective on a situation to effectively help the person. But i also realise that it could become not very healthy or helpful as a infj, when i feel too much responsible for others people emotion, it become really difficult for me to just admit that i cannot always be helpful… and sometimes i don’t know if its better to keep helping or preserving myself by distancing Specially when i feel that the person really needs me, or psychological help in general 😅
I agree with everything you said and have felt this way for a long time, but you articulated these thoughts better than I ever could have. Thanks for all your insights, Ren!
These videos are so helpful and entertaining! Thank you for making them. I'm learning so much about why I do the things I do through your insights into our INFJ nature.
Whilst what I am about to say about others perceptions of me truly does not affect me personally, it does make me curious that they need to tell me. Yet one thing I do know for sure is that I am an enigma to practically everyone, which I reckon it is my INFJness. Always being told that there’s something about me that’s “different”. It is that how others may often wish to inform me of the reaction that they have of being around me, those who see me regularly, or the man who loves me, or those I have only just met, and that is that they express that they think I am “a stand out” or “amazing”. Actually standing out does not bother me because I am what I am and am perfectly used to myself as I well aught to be at 69! 69 but look 50, so I’m told, have always looked younger all my life! In high school my friends confessed that they thought of me as “sophisticated” which was a compliment but something I was not aware of then. Yes, I’m confident and comfortable with myself and am an articulate speaker in conversations no matter how long, brief or idle. Ren, what you said about how we can understand the whole very fast and synthesise it for them is very true. So it’s my manner of speech and also of how I carry myself, and that inner knowing that I project without trying to that shows by just being myself unapologetically tha people seem to notice. Also, no one else looks like me which makes me stand out without tying! Being a tall, attractive woman, slim and with an unruly head of fair hair means I get noticed. My walk is a rolling stride, never in a hurry but relatively swift since my legs are long. I normally wear jeans and flats going for comfort with distinct unique style. I’m trying hard to convey here is that what others see, and am totally aware of, is that it is my innate charisma, as you mentioned, Ren! Often it embarrasses me if how I affect them is told back to me. I don’t look for confirmation on my self because I am just me being myself not looking for attention. I know that I’m powerful, from experience, that I’m internally strong and incredibly intuitive. Also as an artist. As you said, it is an “aura”, most definitely cannot deny it!
Very good summation- I think there's a certain calmness right before it that is what could really surprise people. IMO it's because the problem would likely have been very troublesome for a long time and the final resolution and settling on a course of action comes as a great relief to the INFJ
I always wondered why people tell me things they don’t usually tell anyone, and I only know this because they would say, I don’t usually talk about this , or tell anyone this, etc... but I do enjoy giving advice in detail and with he reasoning why so they can understand it from all angles. I try to help anyone who wants it
it's pretty cool how you think and talk through the video and then give us a conclusion. The process is really nice. Very natural and organic. Thanks for letting us join and experience your thought process.
I'm an infj and I'm all into philosophy "pistus Sofia" I approach it with a spiritual innerstanding using my mind's eye not the physical ones i see with.
i've been trying to fight that for so long now, i dont like to be so sensitive to others all the time or even try to help them anymore. i usually find anyone i give adivce to, doesn't really end up chaning their ways and still stuck in a rot. i've been trying to avoid that completely now and focus solely on building a business and make my worldy contributions through a valuable business other than boring myself to death with tyring to help individuals because now i jsut feel like it's quite pointless. the system's broken and i cant fix it with individuals only
Does it happen to anyone here that most of the time you know what is happening but you dont know what to say. Adding on, in a weird way I feel I have a no comment to give in situations were it would be really weird. Maybe because I am holding on to saying something that might be too weird or might hurt the other person.
As an INFJ I don't feel I have any charisma as people generally don't seem to value my company. I feel people generally don't understand me and usually underestimate me.
Your aura is very bright, your mind is very very wired to lots of information, I'm seeing lots of strings from your mind into the collective. You have the spirit of a very playful and sensual lion cub 🦁 when you're in private. There's light coming out of your hands with your gestures. I'm going to have to watch more of your videos.
"Self acceptance", you right, like a sort of natural/unconscious charisma. I don't find charisme on me, but you enlight me. Now I know why random people are naturally attracted to me to ask me their way, an advice, help, ask me random things (most of time abstracts things : an advice, a knowledge).. as if I know all things (whereas I don't know all things) Since any weeks, I wondered why people know and see I will help them, did they see in my eyes, I potentially will help ? "Calm, listen, depth in their eyes" Thanks, I understand better now, why people who need help, are attracted to me. Cause we are aware, of all what happen, always attentiv, carefull. Especially INFP for my part, if I wear a little original/weird clothes. INFJ's take care, if you wear colorfull clothes or original things, INFP's like it. You can get some INFP friends, or INFP who will like you by doing nothing special.
I just came across this video, and as an INFJ i agree fully with what you have said about us. I just wish i would know how to protect myself from being squeezed out the whole time. I know how to set boundaries but struggle to stand firm by them. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
Once a friend told me that the energy field I exert is pretty strong but whether a person will get attracted or repulsed by that field completely depends upon him. It hit differently. I have seen completely strangers to behave weirdly merely by my presence.
I feel (INFP) that the charisma of the INFJ in a macro sense HAS to be connected to a cause or movement. And with MLK and GHANDI it was probably built over a long period of time and the ideology was just right which is why it grew. The charisma in perspective if tied to a movement or cause is always considered the subject and not the INFJ themselves (to them) so they have the confidence to grow it. Otherwise the charisma is only really felt by the few that are let in by friendship or a micro cause (passion in a care/serving job) like healthcare or massage therapy or things like that. In my opinion.
I think there is a difference between the extraverted limelight hog type of charisma, that many ExTx oder ExFx have and the more quiet, mysterious yet magnetic and warm-hearted type of charisma that INFJs or INFPs or other Ixxx types have. It is still a form of charisma but displayed in another way.
Funny! Because after watching this video and thinking about situations that I've been in. It's easy for me to come up with scenarios where I know that I wanted to have a certain type of Charisma like The Rock but wine up having more of a Dexter from that murder show charisma. Weird reference but if you really enjoy that show you see that he has a certain charm with him and even though that he tries not to stand out in the room he tries very hard to just be the Invisible Man but because he's being the Invisible Man that's where his charm, his charisma comes into play. So following up with just being a listener and basically playing your position I understand more of my Charisma now because a lot of times when I'm not trying to have The Rock charisma I flourish.
That’s... amazing insight. I especially appreciated you laying out the differences of charisma in ENTJ, ESTP, and ENTP types. These are types that I, as an INFJ, admire because of their full-on display of self-assuredness and confidence. I’ve always wanted to exude the same aura that these folks have and to understand that my charismatic strength (ability to motivate or inspire or help others) lies first in empathy and SELF-confidence- I don’t have to be someone I’m not... to be who I want to be.
I appreciate your thoughts and I'm thankful that you posted this video. That said, I feel charisma doesn't come from "T" only, but also comes from "F". A "T" person may understand charisma from a logically researched perspective, but an "F" person just knows how to manipulate others emotions. I'm not saying people should take advantage of others. I'm just saying charisma is more a matter of emotionality, than rationale. Anyway, these are my two-bits! Peace! :-)
Everywhere I go! Even running to Starbucks for a quick coffee. I have people approach me. Oftentimes, I run close to the wire for work, even when leaving extra early to allow for it. Throws me off, still. Hahaha
The hurdle I discovered is that while I have had a certain knack for attracting attention (I'm really tall which is probably half of it), the talent I have as an INFJ for drilling down to the depths of women's souls reveals whether they have what it takes to put up with my more notable personality quirks, and I always know if I'd just end up breaking their hearts. It is not easy to follow up on the first impression.
@@RensRoom Predicated in relation to _____ ? (Incidentally, I studied Kant decades ago. I'm into categories and qualifiers. I also studied law independently, so I'm averse to presumption.)
@@thenextpoetician6328 I was just responding to the fact you only referred to women in your original post here: "the talent I have as an INFJ for drilling down to the depths of women's souls". Could you have equivalently said "the depths of women and men's souls"?
@@RensRoom Ah. Probably. I generally minimize eye contact. I obliterated the last nine people I had staring contests with in my youth. Eyes tend to be distracting. I suspect it's my subconscious going into overdrive, or perhaps warp drive. :)
Charisma is the state of knowing that you know, and it's not under discution any more... Kind of knowing the truth and really setting you free... However, it will give you the aura of aloofness, but without the arrigants and self-righteousness. Rather with a sense of loving helpfulness...all wrapped up in some humor... I'm just saying?! ☮️🎶🎼🚚
I belive the infj charisma you are refering to is the carisma of the "sage" a wise old man who can see beyond people and their problems to offer a solution from a wide variety of places thanks to the ability to conecting everything, not just the obvious. Another way of seeing them is as "shamans" , with knowledge about nature, people, medicine, art, spiritualism and many more subjects and use it help the people of the tribe. Finally it can also be the archetype of the "mentor", someone wiser and sometimes more powerful than the hero but the actions he choses to do is that of guidance to push every body to a better place. The better examples(wich very likely are infj) are gandalf, yoda and dumbledore. Wichever way you choose to ser it, there is no doubt people with those characteristics are seen as very influential, and thus, charismatic.
What about when others strangers (I work with public) act as if they are not sure if they should talk to you you know that I dont smile a lot I feel have the charisma of just leave me alone l dont put up with crap after finding out that I am a INFJ-T I understand myself better thanks
Another excellent video. I think the word you were looking for instead of psychologist or counselor may have been mentor? But very well done, thank you.
Mentor, that's a good word, and perhaps a more adequate one than psychologist. I'm not sure it was the exact word I was looking for, but it works well!
Hi Akeela, it is possible to be an INFJish INTJ, or an INTJish INFJ. However, those two types are quite different, functionally speaking. If you use Fe-Ti, you're INFJ; if Te-Fi, INTJ.
Let me add in a bit of my story. All my life I've heard people tell me that I get noticed without trying, that I stand out in a crowd simply by my presence. Why? Because an aura of wisdom, calm, intellect and insightfulness radiates from me. My peers always feel that I'm the most knowledgeable or wise people they have met, even though personally I don't think that's true. What I feel is that I can analyse and fit in information and draw conclusions very easily. Or learn things almost intuitively, without effort. That, I think, is my sort of charisma. Because of this, I am very popular and great at professional relations, but anything that gets personal, oh boy... I begin to pull away and I'm very bad at it. Ok, this got too long..
Links to purchase my book on the INFJ are provided in the description box.
Thank you for your support ♥
You may not know if you like an INFJ but you'll miss them when they've gone.
@Electric Goldfish more like a car vacuum.
MY GOD someone actually told me this recently
My entire ex's family misses me, lol
Yes. Isfj is the same. I love them so much
At least I - like to hope so 😀
We have charisma, but to only people that we want to see us that way. We can hide ourselves from people so we don't get that unwanted attention.
Very well put, Edward.
Edward Wright exactly!!
I agree and we get shocked when we get 'noticed' without even trying.....I have had a few very close friends who told me something I didn't know. When they first met me they were at ore with my presence and thinking 'who's this person'? They say it was the 'energy or aura' and the attraction of someone who's just smiling without outering a word.
I agree,it comes from having to hide our light from the World at times😊
Exactly. Spot on!
This type of charisma that INFJ can also attract jealousy from some
Edixa SanchezPacheco I agree and I’ve delt with it all my life.
Oh, you are soooo right!
To be an INFJ can be a gift and a curse; a gift because we can engage in almost any topic at hand, and with any one and a curse because most of everyone else’s of level of consciousness comes from the “visible”.
It is hard for me to build friendship with
people especially with guys coz girls that likes them tends to hate me 😢
Principally from NPD lol
Yeah...tell me how cool I am
was literally just thinking that the basis for these videos is exactly that: gassing us up
@@johnfraser4591😭😭
One of my past teammates referred to me by complimenting me in this way “I don’t want to say you’re confident, but only because I can’t think of a stronger word...”
I guess when we’re driven towards a goal that we believe in, our inner force is unstoppable, and that in itself is magnetic and charismatic to others.
well put
Exactly that. We set up sympathetic vibration mode and from that it all unfolds.
So true! I bought a house last year. My girlfriend sometimes was like: "argh we'll never get a nice house with this competition", and I was like all confident, there was no question about it that we would find a house eventually.
@@TeraHammer because we have intuition, faith & vision.
(I also think our spirit guides look out for us a lot because they know we are practically challenged and guide us in the right direction).
Yes !!! exactly Thank you
Lynn
Feb 18th 2022
I've always found others were magnetically attracted to me, and being very patient and empathetic, people would tell me their problems, secrets and heartaches. I've always been a good listener, and find people interesting. I care about them and want them to be encouraged, and feel understood by me. I like to give them time, and acceptance. This makes me satisfied. I've always wanted to add value to at least one person's life every day.
It's good for us as INFJs to find our own Jetstream, our place of flow, our sweet spot.
Thank you for this video Ren. So much of it resonated with me.
Same here but I find people very draining which makes me more introverted. Everybody wants my opinion all the time. It's exhausting
This charisma of an INFJ is something I both love and hate at the same time. I particularly noticed that I can used it to my advantage by being able to navigate myself through a person's emotion at the time and give back a summary of how s/he really feels and therefore feels understood. Its easier to make people agree to terms when they feel understood or acknowledged.
However the charisma also unfortunately attracts people who are either broken or who have negative aura. They seem to want to stick to me and it really sucks the life out of me with just spending 30 minutes with them. So Ive been really carefully in these recent years not to "go out there" so much as I tend to attrack these kinds of beings and they are very hard to shake. Please dont get me wrong, I actually feel guilty about this. However i also need to take care of myself and distancing from them seems to be the most effective.
You've answered this question that I have had for so long as to why certain people are drawn to me even when I'd rather be left alone.
I know right i am like sitting alone want to be part of the crowed and then someone just comes up to me and starts talking to me like nothing which is okay for me sometimes because i think listening to diffrent people is kinda intresting lol
That has happened to me so many times, I can't begin to count them.
Dtiu mayk kaui ljrvi pafr kr ari mnam bhijs ds vjte bji saru yuo ytmrrre kua ko kjid rjoo ne tmrra aarmamnr shsmyti mle ok ok foonye
Ditto! I find myself hiding from coworkers at my office because it can be quite draining listening to people. Does anybody else feel kind of lonely sometimes? I find myself feeling lonely at time because I feel like I listen to everybody, but can’t find somebody that actually takes an interest in how I’m doing. Can anybody relate?
@@alexg8327 indeed, but the fact is most of the time i personnaly don't share my worries with others, cause i see it as a weakness, like i am supposed to solve them by my own.
Charm is surface, charisma is genuineness.
I believe our charisma comes from us having this genuine, authentic presence and even if we don't share everything with everybody we meet, the first impression of us is always that. We also tend to be quite well mannered which also helps. Charisma doesn't necessarily have to be something that can lead people into battle, having insight mixed with a genuine presence and the ability to read people like an open book and always cater to their mood will always make people treat us with respect. Or at least that's how i see it from my experience.
Did you know that we communicate first and foremost from subconscious signals from the heart, which emits more powerful EMF than any organ of the body, even our brains? So when we're tuned in to the love-of-life frequency, we're attention magnets.
“We can build confidence in knowing we are special like that, and fully accepting our sensitivity and empathy.
Because our charisma depends more on our ability to be sensitive and empathic than on being rational and strong, in the traditional sense, like tough. We are strong and charismatic via our sensitivity and empathy. “ ❤️ this took me 47 years to understand.
Yeah this was really moving and affirming, thank you Ren!!
I was always extremely shy which maybe came off as not strong or tough, but when in a position to protect my loved ones I was surprised to not back down when others did in very scary situations. Maybe it’s true. Still waters run deep.
Its the charisma of feeling emotions and seeing the patterns in people. We know how to listen, and what to say when we do talk.
A few years back I took a test with a career counselor. My top result was 'nurse.' I'd never, ever aspired to become a nurse before, but the counselor reminded me that the results of the test were based on my having characteristics and values similar to those of nurses who really happened to love their job. So it doesn't mean that I should necessarily drop what I'm doing and become a nurse, tending to the physical wounds of others.
Fast forward a few months, and I'm listening attentively to an older woman who is telling me about some deep hurts she's felt in her relationship with a sibling. "Oh my gosh," she says, completely out of nowhere, "You're like a nurse."
I asked her what she meant by that.
She said, "You just have this ability to look at another person's pain without flinching or making them feel bad for it, and it's very comforting."
Your assessment is spot on. I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to mimic, or practice, the charisma of other types. I've even had people tell me that I lack enthusiasm or character (particularly in job settings). And even though it hurts to hear that, I know deep down it is because they have never really seen me in the proper context that these INFJ strengths thrive in.
Thanks so much for another great video! Very clarifying.
No problem, thanks for sharing this ;)
Darren T Atherton
finding out who we are, what makes us tick, and what we bring to life can be a long process. It's liberating to be making progress with that.
So pleased to read this part of your personal growth is bringing you deeper satisfaction and insights. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
(BTW, my profession has been critical care nurse and mentor, so I well understand what you've said here).
Weird. I think other peoples pain would really repel me. I had an aha moment a few years back when I realized ever job I've ever had, had a teching aspect to it.
This was so wonderful, it made me want to burst out crying!
I’m an INFJ and I didn’t want to be a nurse, but nursing chased me down.😅 been at it for 20 yrs now and it suits me well. Just have to learn emotional boundaries and I don’t work more than 30rs/week to prevent burnout. ❤
The charisma of listening to what people say and most importantly what they don't say or can't seem to admit to themselves. Also the fact that INFJs speak thoughtfully so when they say sth they come across as wise mysterious and that makes them hella charismatic and sexy. I'm getting addicted to those videos 😇😊
"Hella charismatic and sexy", I'm definitely on board with that! Thanks for your kind words :)
About the seven-minute mark, you seem to be describing the chameleon effect of the INFJ, the way that we mold our behavior to emulate that of the person we are communicating with.
This is true to a point. I have never considered myself as charismatic, but I can admit there is a strange quality that people are drawn to. I think as I have gotten older, people are less apt to approach me because I tend to avoid very public places where I am required to be complacent for just enough time to be approached (ie: lines, public transport, crowded aisles of stores, etc). Typically, if I am at the park reading, or at the gym, I am left alone as those are places where people feel too vulnerable to approach another person. However, in those rare instances when someone catches me, they tend to talk to me as if I have known them their entire lives. I have had conversations with people where I was simply a sounding board for them to vent, bounce ideas off of, or tell their deepest secrets to. I know some dark stuff about some people I will never see again, and there is beauty in that.
Your definition of our charisma type is spot on. I have to reign in my empathy though because I’ve been used by a few narcissist types but the door slam happens very quickly towards these types. And I’m just talking about acquaintances I had at work who I thought were potential friends. Did not work out. When I don’t follow my initial instincts about someone I’m always wrong to not follow them because I find out always my intuition about that person was spot on every time.
YEAH, Same!! I can literally meet someone for 2mins and I have a pretty good idea of them. So when really reveal themselves, I m not surprised. Like pple with anger issues 🙄 oh gosh. And also usualky when I dont follow my instincts I regret it and it teaches me a lesson everytime.
same omg
yeah.
though once i shut my doors to those narcissistic bastards, it wont open again. ever.
Yes. Have you looked up Bruce Lipton on the Biology of Perception? He discusses how the heart is our prime communication transceiver, and when it's sending out the attraction vibe it's like child's play getting people's attention. And when we're in don't-even-look-at-me mode, that comes across too.
Very well explained. I need an INFJ close friend in real life. ENFJ here. That Charisma you say can also lead to leadership when many people trust you and you become the best friend of most of them and the pivot of the group.
unfortunately, actually being the leader (and worrying about all the consequences your decisions cause to other people) burns me out very quickly.
Yes, I agree - the INFJ charisma largely draws from the talent for shedding light in dark corners whether it's with an individual or a group or other forum. We can also bring the value of illuminating entire conceps but so are other types. I find on average I'm most valued for delivering the missing piece or making the unseen connection.
Completely agree with you!
I'm pretty sure I'm INFJ but I've always thought I was the least charming/charismatic person I know. I actually think others find me quite boring despite thinking I'm weird and/or mysterious. I never find myself boring because I love to explore my own thoughts but I'm pretty sure others do. I just don't have the projected energy that other people seem to have. Maybe because I always seem to find myself around pretty outgoing, charismatic people I tend to fade into the background. I'm usually overlooked. The very few people who actually get to know me somewhat do tend to come to me when they want someone to listen to them or get some advice though.
My INFJ charisma has given me a vulnerability that has not served me well in the past. I have yet to filter out the bad guys from those with good intentions. Who is there to help the INFJs when we need it?
Donna Woodford same here
I got the same problem... But i think i have improved over the past couple of years that i am able to identify them.. However, not so much yet of blocking them. Its best to really first read a person and find patterns that can help you identify if a person is more of a "taker"... What I do is I actually physically distance myself from these people.. Because even their aura or vibes can cause negative phyiscal effect on me (its hard for me to write this line as i dont want to sound like i have a "power" of some sort but it really feels that way) that i get sick..
I usually do alone time in the middle of the day to recharge.. It help a lot :)
Donna Woodford
No one is there, because they would have to be told, and we don't do that. I am older, and that's our strength
Intuition. The gut feelings you get about a person are usually right. Pay attention to how they act and the things that they say (especially about others when they're not around)
It's awkward charisma 😂
Problem is we can’t hold onto it long enough to be able to enjoy it. People only see it in us for a fleeting moment - before they go back to thinking we’re just weird.
What you started saying at 9:03 is so true.. I would add though, that it's not necessarily paraphrasing what someone has said but rather interpreting what their words actually mean. It's because we are good at using our intuition to read between the lines and identify exactly what it is that the person is thinking or feeling when they react a certain way or when they say certain things...
Strangers approach me and spill their guts like I'm their shrink. And usually after a few minutes I speak up , and they say that's exactly the advice I needed.
Renaud, thank you for posting these videos. I found out late in life I am an INFJ. We need a social dating site to help us connect with people of value. We are the most misunderstood of all personality types.
Yes and yes 😉 Brilliant examples and insight. Ren :) Thank you time well spent with you.I often seen this as a free spirit as well. People feel comfortable to be themselves when we are around. We definitely make people respond to us. We inspire and give hope. People like to be around us for sure. We as INFJ's are just Being ourselves. True and Authentic. We show up everyday. Childlike but Wise. 💜 almost world weary. Love this! Grateful. We find connection in everything we do and say. Awesome job here, you are amazing! WoW! Nice to know truly to find the INFJ connection. ❤❤❤ I was told at a young age by many of older folks, they would say to me " You are special, truly a gift" And the way you said that at end of video made me remember I was told that by many through out my life.😊
Thank you as always
INFJs have a quiet kind of charisma that is actually quite endearing, even if we don't see it.
Agreed!
Typical infj crying at the end of this video because he was so deeply understood... Gdi I will embrace my deep thought as a strength till my last breath... Ty Ren, I needed this
I'm awkward, I have no charisma. People are more so creeped out by me because I don't know how to interact with anyone.
Keep practicing! You might find a place where you fit in a bit better.
Brian Premo
Stop trying. You are perfectly wonderfully weird, they are envious of you dear
Christine McCoy Stop lying, she needs to keep trying or else she will always be this way. I know it’s hard but it will be better in the long run.
You touched on something very important, synthesis. I NFJ is the soul of knowing how to pull all of the disparate parts out of the air to make a perspective… At any given moment. I believe we keep these these things and reuse them in different combinations. Remember the movie minority report? Where Tom Cruise was moving information around with his hands that’s the Way an I NFJ mind works I think at least mine does
I can’t believe you just said that. I totally related to that in Minority Report.
Our charisma is from our oblivious nature of our charisma, I am guessing. We just are ourselves. Authenticity is really important to me, more so than charisma.
Thank you again, for this video. You summed up my whole channel’s purpose to connect ideas in a deeper and meaning way to give insight to others.
You’re welcome! ;-)
From an INFJ: Your gaze is so intent I forget to blink, ahhaha. And I noticed trying to imitate you when you tilted your head. Not creepy at all...Maybe there is such a thing as being too honest. But overall, you are speaking my language. It's so refreshing, listening to someone and understanding, not only words said, but understanding on a whole different level. Like you are feeding the world inside my head. And every new sentence holds more meaning and when I comprehend what you are trying to say, it's like I can hear these clicks going off in my head. Wow! Fulfilling ahahhaha
I think an INFJ charisma is also kindness and it's visible on our faces. We don't understand cruelty. Oh! I know what it is...it's a feeling. It's not something you perceive with the eye. It's like, your heart is attracted to that persons warmth, as though it can sense the goodness in them. Well...I basically rephrased everything you said about aura hahaha ^_^ yeah. Another point. Because we can be a little strange (and when I say little I mean...) I think people feel right at home with us. They can be themselves. Knowing, they will be loved for who they are. We tend to see the good in everyone.
Thank you for your wonderful comment! I've been told before that my gaze is intense, I hope you blinked a bit though ;-)
Fancyloaf Winifred I So agree with you.
Love this comment!!
Ah, the INFJ mirror! That's a sign of empathy. :)
True... Strength through tenderness...
Welp. There was not one thing incorrect about this description. If he didn’t hit the 10 minute wall. I guarantee he could have described this for 2 hours in detail that would make you think he wrote a book about it. It’s a true INFJ. I just discovered the MB system this week. It’s helping me really reassess my shortcomings now knowing my type of consciousness isn’t a secret. You’re a legend. I’m commenting a year later, and the channel hasn’t exploded, but you’re helping people. I just wanted you to know that. Cheers.
Thank you Brandon, it means a lot! It doesn't really matter that the channel hasn't exploded so long as a great community has built around it.
You’re exactly right...quality over quantity.
I think your distinction between t-type charisma and f-type is especially helpful. Our INFJ charisma strikes me as much more about an unconscious pull than overt confidence, which is why we can become muddled and awkward and why we can give people so much of a mixed up impressed. Of the MBTI types, INFJ seems especially prone to contradition.
Yep, I agree about the contradictions of the INFJ! Did you watch my video on the "Paradoxes" of the INFJ? There are definitely moments when I can become muddled and awkward.
Yes, I always say I am a walking contradiction, lol. But to those who truly understand, it isn't contradiction, It's just when you truly boil it down, depth. A deep individual is going to be seen as contradictory because of their abililty to comprehend many different perspectives at once. For the INFJ that is crucial to feeling out how to interact with people and most of the time, we are right in our intuitions due to our love for seeing patterns about people and using that to our ability. I think most of this contributes to our charisma as well. That and our warmth and tendency to be genuine.
@@aprilparker7151 Once again, your comments is epic, April!
I like helping people. Until some take advantage of that LOL I agree with what you said, Ren. Charisma increases in direct proportion to ones confidence in themselves.
Excellent perspective Ren! I am an INFJ - Assertive type and I find my most joy when I can crystalize the essence of a problem or a solution for the group. And that radiates confidence and leads to charisma
You know, I didn't even know anyone liked me until I worked as a medical receptionist and people stayed extra time just to talk to me. I was so shy that it came as a shocker that I all of a sudden became so many people's 'confidante' and they always commented on my calm nature. I would call someone up and suddenly hear that person's life story about how they abandoned their baby, got divorced etc. And my boss could never understand how I knew so much about everyone and their names. Sadly, he became unhealthily jealous (even though he was quite honestly a very charismatic (maybe ENFJ?) person. He started to spread rumors about me so I had to quit. Great video.
Charisma of the higher spiritual wisdom of elevation
I love that you said that INFJ is strong in their sensitivity and empathy!
Hi WOF. I would like to suggest a topic for one of your videos. It's a bit of a conundrum but one that has intrigued me as an INFJ. Here it is: if Se is our least developed function, why does beauty has such an effect on us? Why are we so moved profoundly by the beauty of the world? Also, why are INFJs the most poetic of all of the types? Thanks!
That's an interesting question! I will definitely bookmark it as a potential video topic. I think the sketch of answer might be via conceiving of Ni-Se as an axis of perception: the "data" that we unconsciously gather in the environment is Se-based, though we synthesize it internally with Ni. Would you say that INFJs are more poetic than INFPs?
INFJ are said to be more poetic than INFPs and in some ways you can see this through your idea of how INFJ relates to the Platonic forms. If Ni is someone who can tap into these "ideals", both consciously and unconsciously, it is not a far stretch to see that poetry (i.e. metaphor or simile) would be the best way of approximately a description that for many others may be ineffable but for the INFJ is a direct experience and so they are much better at giving this experience a form through words. Just riffing on ideas here.
I second this idea! I have been plagued by feeling that I am too superficial. I am truly inspired by beauty of all sorts. I love having everything aesthetic and when its just so, I feel at peace. But yes, it seems contradictory that we would be inspired by beauty even though our Se is not as strong. But as I have said before, were walking contradictions!
Yes! We are profoundly moved by beauty. It is a spiritual dimension of our lives, and we need it to refresh us emotionally. Beauty has a transcendent quality; I've been aware of that since earliest memories in childhood.
@@Neiljjm I "agree" with this, for sure.
I've been told that I have a 'presence' in a crowd , but I can't remember the last time I was accused of being charismatic & sexy 💜😘
Cheers, Ren. Thank you.
I’ve watched many INFJ videos since 2012 when I identified my type, and I must say I enjoy your analyses the most. And I can’t even quantify my gratitude for your encouragement to embrace our strength in empathy and sensitivity. It’s a wonderful reminder to engage honestly with the world rather than try to replicate the success I perceive from others’ style. My only concern is how quiet our value is, coupled with how narrow our optimal lane of operation.
Anyway. Thanks again 🙏
I personally find that the one two combination of Introverted intuition and extroverted feeling has led me to counseling with my church. People ask me to coffee and ask me for my input knowing that they can trust in my promise of confidentiality.The NI/FE combination allows me the insight and the charisma to be approachable. It is a great gift that is to be used wisely. I do like your channel, keep up the good work
They think we see who they are, giving them an Ego boost. But what we actually see is what you're NOT. Funny that. But then, people DO tend to see what they want in mirrors...
Thanks Ren, that’s a lovely way to look at our gifts! It’s easy to focus on the challenges (or for others to) , so appreciate the positivity. 🪬
the best soldier in the group , he cares about the team and when shit happens he feels it to the bone !!
I loved the way you explained this aspect of INFJ personality. I really needed to hear this today. You put it so well. Loved it! Thank you so much.
so refreshing and positive to listen to you.i never thought much of me as an infj least of all having charisma probably because i have always be treated as the black sheep of the family.but i had 3 experiences(just in the last couple of years not going back too far)twice in the same airport and once in a dfferent airport where people i had never seen before either confide in me their life or intrusted me to look after their suitcase.may be that's what you are talking about??? is it??
That's definitely part of it, yes! INFJs tend to have an aura that makes people feel comfortable and "listened to" :)
Pretty late comment here x)
I realised that maybe, it’s that charisma that makes my very old best friend (ENFJ btw) talks that easily about her thoughts, doubt, or feelings, (especially feelings) during my school years… Back then i was thinking i was just being quiet and patient enough but i realised recently with another very close friend (an INFP) with whom i spoke a lot, that he was became at ease to speak about his feelings very quickly. He also says that i helped him a lot during his difficult periode, even if we could have some period of arguments.
I strange how my words have effects him sometimes… i really feel usefull and it’s fulfilling when it happens
And its best when i genuinely feel invested and when i feel i can really had a new perspective on a situation to effectively help the person.
But i also realise that it could become not very healthy or helpful as a infj, when i feel too much responsible for others people emotion, it become really difficult for me to just admit that i cannot always be helpful… and sometimes i don’t know if its better to keep helping or preserving myself by distancing
Specially when i feel that the person really needs me, or psychological help in general 😅
I agree with everything you said and have felt this way for a long time, but you articulated these thoughts better than I ever could have. Thanks for all your insights, Ren!
These videos are so helpful and entertaining! Thank you for making them. I'm learning so much about why I do the things I do through your insights into our INFJ nature.
Thank you very much for the kind comment! Hopefully you will relate to my future videos, too :-)
Whilst what I am about to say about others perceptions of me truly does not affect me personally, it does make me curious that they need to tell me. Yet one thing I do know for sure is that I am an enigma to practically everyone, which I reckon it is my INFJness. Always being told that there’s something about me that’s “different”.
It is that how others may often wish to inform me of the reaction that they have of being around me, those who see me regularly, or the man who loves me, or those I have only just met, and that is that they express that they think I am “a stand out” or “amazing”. Actually standing out does not bother me because I am what I am and am perfectly used to myself as I well aught to be at 69! 69 but look 50, so I’m told, have always looked younger all my life! In high school my friends confessed that they thought of me as “sophisticated” which was a compliment but something I was not aware of then.
Yes, I’m confident and comfortable with myself and am an articulate speaker in conversations no matter how long, brief or idle. Ren, what you said about how we can understand the whole very fast and synthesise it for them is very true. So it’s my manner of speech and also of how I carry myself, and that inner knowing that I project without trying to that shows by just being myself unapologetically tha people seem to notice. Also, no one else looks like me which makes me stand out without tying! Being a tall, attractive woman, slim and with an unruly head of fair hair means I get noticed. My walk is a rolling stride, never in a hurry but relatively swift since my legs are long. I normally wear jeans and flats going for comfort with distinct unique style. I’m trying hard to convey here is that what others see, and am totally aware of, is that it is my innate charisma, as you mentioned, Ren! Often it embarrasses me if how I affect them is told back to me. I don’t look for confirmation on my self because I am just me being myself not looking for attention. I know that I’m powerful, from experience, that I’m internally strong and incredibly intuitive. Also as an artist. As you said, it is an “aura”, most definitely cannot deny it!
Very good summation- I think there's a certain calmness right before it that is what could really surprise people. IMO it's because the problem would likely have been very troublesome for a long time and the final resolution and settling on a course of action comes as a great relief to the INFJ
I always wondered why people tell me things they don’t usually tell anyone, and I only know this because they would say, I don’t usually talk about this , or tell anyone this, etc... but I do enjoy giving advice in detail and with he reasoning why so they can understand it from all angles. I try to help anyone who wants it
it's pretty cool how you think and talk through the video and then give us a conclusion. The process is really nice. Very natural and organic. Thanks for letting us join and experience your thought process.
I'm an infj and I'm all into philosophy "pistus Sofia" I approach it with a spiritual innerstanding using my mind's eye not the physical ones i see with.
This is what I love to read on a Tuesday evening. Bless!
i've been trying to fight that for so long now, i dont like to be so sensitive to others all the time or even try to help them anymore. i usually find anyone i give adivce to, doesn't really end up chaning their ways and still stuck in a rot. i've been trying to avoid that completely now and focus solely on building a business and make my worldy contributions through a valuable business other than boring myself to death with tyring to help individuals because now i jsut feel like it's quite pointless. the system's broken and i cant fix it with individuals only
Does it happen to anyone here that most of the time you know what is happening but you dont know what to say. Adding on, in a weird way I feel I have a no comment to give in situations were it would be really weird. Maybe because I am holding on to saying something that might be too weird or might hurt the other person.
As an INFJ I don't feel I have any charisma as people generally don't seem to value my company. I feel people generally don't understand me and usually underestimate me.
Indifference, unicorn mentality (charisma), it is the aloofness...
So I am not alone
Your aura is very bright, your mind is very very wired to lots of information, I'm seeing lots of strings from your mind into the collective. You have the spirit of a very playful and sensual lion cub 🦁 when you're in private. There's light coming out of your hands with your gestures. I'm going to have to watch more of your videos.
You have a soothing yet precise tone of voice! 😊
Thank you!
"Self acceptance", you right, like a sort of natural/unconscious charisma.
I don't find charisme on me, but you enlight me. Now I know why random people are naturally attracted to me to ask me their way, an advice, help, ask me random things (most of time abstracts things : an advice, a knowledge).. as if I know all things (whereas I don't know all things)
Since any weeks, I wondered why people know and see I will help them, did they see in my eyes, I potentially will help ?
"Calm, listen, depth in their eyes" Thanks, I understand better now, why people who need help, are attracted to me.
Cause we are aware, of all what happen, always attentiv, carefull.
Especially INFP for my part, if I wear a little original/weird clothes.
INFJ's take care, if you wear colorfull clothes or original things, INFP's like it. You can get some INFP friends, or INFP who will like you by doing nothing special.
I just came across this video, and as an INFJ i agree fully with what you have said about us. I just wish i would know how to protect myself from being squeezed out the whole time. I know how to set boundaries but struggle to stand firm by them. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
Once a friend told me that the energy field I exert is pretty strong but whether a person will get attracted or repulsed by that field completely depends upon him. It hit differently. I have seen completely strangers to behave weirdly merely by my presence.
I feel (INFP) that the charisma of the INFJ in a macro sense HAS to be connected to a cause or movement. And with MLK and GHANDI it was probably built over a long period of time and the ideology was just right which is why it grew. The charisma in perspective if tied to a movement or cause is always considered the subject and not the INFJ themselves (to them) so they have the confidence to grow it.
Otherwise the charisma is only really felt by the few that are let in by friendship or a micro cause (passion in a care/serving job) like healthcare or massage therapy or things like that. In my opinion.
I think there is a difference between the extraverted limelight hog type of charisma, that many ExTx oder ExFx have and the more quiet, mysterious yet magnetic and warm-hearted type of charisma that INFJs or INFPs or other Ixxx types have. It is still a form of charisma but displayed in another way.
My strength is listening and empathy! It makes sense then that I always find myself in “Support” work positions. ^_^
Funny! Because after watching this video and thinking about situations that I've been in. It's easy for me to come up with scenarios where I know that I wanted to have a certain type of Charisma like The Rock but wine up having more of a Dexter from that murder show charisma. Weird reference but if you really enjoy that show you see that he has a certain charm with him and even though that he tries not to stand out in the room he tries very hard to just be the Invisible Man but because he's being the Invisible Man that's where his charm, his charisma comes into play. So following up with just being a listener and basically playing your position I understand more of my Charisma now because a lot of times when I'm not trying to have The Rock charisma I flourish.
Shawn Cushnie lol at the Rock and Dexter references. Very true. Still hilarious
Yes, presence and charisma are different!
Love your channel, feels good to be understood. I wish I had another INFJ friend. I feel like the interactions would be very interesting!
New subbie! Thanks for telling me more about my INFJ self ⭐️
Thanks so much for the Sub!
The charisma of context...we have that
I love this! Great to learn more about myself. Really recharges my batteries! You've got a sub!
I must say you are a very brilliant man! 🙏💕👑💯
That’s... amazing insight. I especially appreciated you laying out the differences of charisma in ENTJ, ESTP, and ENTP types. These are types that I, as an INFJ, admire because of their full-on display of self-assuredness and confidence. I’ve always wanted to exude the same aura that these folks have and to understand that my charismatic strength (ability to motivate or inspire or help others) lies first in empathy and SELF-confidence- I don’t have to be someone I’m not... to be who I want to be.
I appreciate your thoughts and I'm thankful that you posted this video. That said, I feel charisma doesn't come from "T" only, but also comes from "F".
A "T" person may understand charisma from a logically researched perspective, but an "F" person just knows how to manipulate others emotions. I'm not saying people should take advantage of others. I'm just saying charisma is more a matter of emotionality, than rationale. Anyway, these are my two-bits!
Peace! :-)
I agree with your two-bits completely, Yochanan! Thanks for sharing :)
Yes, the summarizing of the resonating perspectives/truths.
my advice tends be super simple but yet carries a deeper understanding tying many things together often missed by others.
Everywhere I go! Even running to Starbucks for a quick coffee. I have people approach me. Oftentimes, I run close to the wire for work, even when leaving extra early to allow for it. Throws me off, still. Hahaha
I love this video so much! I feel so seen as someone who just discovered they are an infj.
The hurdle I discovered is that while I have had a certain knack for attracting attention (I'm really tall which is probably half of it), the talent I have as an INFJ for drilling down to the depths of women's souls reveals whether they have what it takes to put up with my more notable personality quirks, and I always know if I'd just end up breaking their hearts. It is not easy to follow up on the first impression.
Do you find that your charisma is easier to measure in your interactions with women?
@@RensRoom Predicated in relation to _____ ? (Incidentally, I studied Kant decades ago. I'm into categories and qualifiers. I also studied law independently, so I'm averse to presumption.)
@@thenextpoetician6328 I was just responding to the fact you only referred to women in your original post here: "the talent I have as an INFJ for drilling down to the depths of women's souls". Could you have equivalently said "the depths of women and men's souls"?
@@RensRoom Ah. Probably. I generally minimize eye contact. I obliterated the last nine people I had staring contests with in my youth. Eyes tend to be distracting. I suspect it's my subconscious going into overdrive, or perhaps warp drive. :)
Once I got on nofap my charisma sky rocketed. I had to really dial it down lmao
This video is fascinating. I feel people are drawn to me, they seem to want to tell me everything about their lives and feel comfortable with me
Excellent! Loved the information! Thank you!
Thank you so much, Neiljim! Hope you will stick around :)
Charisma is the state of knowing that you know, and it's not under discution any more... Kind of knowing the truth and really setting you free... However, it will give you the aura of aloofness, but without the arrigants and self-righteousness. Rather with a sense of loving helpfulness...all wrapped up in some humor... I'm just saying?! ☮️🎶🎼🚚
ideal psych nurse: listen with caring but add depth. ;)
I belive the infj charisma you are refering to is the carisma of the "sage" a wise old man who can see beyond people and their problems to offer a solution from a wide variety of places thanks to the ability to conecting everything, not just the obvious.
Another way of seeing them is as "shamans" , with knowledge about nature, people, medicine, art, spiritualism and many more subjects and use it help the people of the tribe.
Finally it can also be the archetype of the "mentor", someone wiser and sometimes more powerful than the hero but the actions he choses to do is that of guidance to push every body to a better place. The better examples(wich very likely are infj) are gandalf, yoda and dumbledore.
Wichever way you choose to ser it, there is no doubt people with those characteristics are seen as very influential, and thus, charismatic.
thank you for your answer.it'so heart warming!and i see every comment has a little heart.it' so nice!!
What about when others strangers (I work with public) act as if they are not sure if they should talk to you you know that I dont smile a lot I feel have the charisma of just leave me alone l dont put up with crap after finding out that I am a INFJ-T I understand myself better thanks
This was such a beautiful description of charisma and it totally resonates with me !
Wonderful insight. Truly resonates for me Renaud
Thank you
Lynn
Feb 18th 2022🌱
Where we live, is between science and creationism, knowing they are the same.
Another excellent video. I think the word you were looking for instead of psychologist or counselor may have been mentor? But very well done, thank you.
Mentor, that's a good word, and perhaps a more adequate one than psychologist. I'm not sure it was the exact word I was looking for, but it works well!
Yes yes! That's exactly it!!
I’m somewhere in between an intj and an infj. I can’t seem to fully relate to either but I do carry traits of each. Is this even possible?
Hi Akeela, it is possible to be an INFJish INTJ, or an INTJish INFJ. However, those two types are quite different, functionally speaking. If you use Fe-Ti, you're INFJ; if Te-Fi, INTJ.
Let me add in a bit of my story. All my life I've heard people tell me that I get noticed without trying, that I stand out in a crowd simply by my presence. Why? Because an aura of wisdom, calm, intellect and insightfulness radiates from me. My peers always feel that I'm the most knowledgeable or wise people they have met, even though personally I don't think that's true. What I feel is that I can analyse and fit in information and draw conclusions very easily. Or learn things almost intuitively, without effort.
That, I think, is my sort of charisma.
Because of this, I am very popular and great at professional relations, but anything that gets personal, oh boy... I begin to pull away and I'm very bad at it.
Ok, this got too long..