Yes! I feel the same, i love them but i cannot do this any longer its been 15 years..there is only so much someone can be pushed and i never thought id ever break this trauma bond but its finally happened. It doesnt mean i dont wish it could of been different im just ready to let this go, i loved him so much and we have 2 babies but im a shell of a person and im ready to be happy again. I agree’d when he discarded me a few weeks ago that it was over and straight away he obviously didnt like that he wanted me to beg and plead for him to not end things..i didnt i shifted something in my mind and was ready for this to be over but then the stuff he did after, the love bombing, the toxic awful stuff, he began doing anything to make me come back round where i just felt like i just had to go along with it to stop him being in this reactionary mode. What now?
That’s what I said😂😂. First it was heck no I want them to go away why would I want them to care.. but I’d rather Them have pain too.. while my number is changed and everything
It’s difficult, I’m the same, I feel so lost at times, so alone, so worthless!! But, at least we have peace, no more being scared to say anything, scared to do anything, scared to disagree with them…. Scared to be yourself, that’s why we don’t know who we are at times, for so long we havn’t been allowed to be ourselves, we’ve lived their lives, did what they wanted, agreed with them, although in our minds we didn’t. We’ve been so used to being what they wanted us to be we lost our identity, lost our personalities, lost our voice. I’m hoping all these things will eventually come back but, after being with ex narc 37 years, it could take time, how long? Only time will tell. I wish you well🩷
I think they also miss the Empath especially since they are devoid of adult empathy... the miss someone like an empath and their unconditional empathy, they kniw as well its not likely they will find it in new supply....
This video is such a blessing. Thank you. Recently was discarded for the 4th time, (18 year on again / off again). After the first 3 discards I always felt like it was my fault, and carried so much shame. So when he would contact me again I would always go back and try to 'make it right', or 'make it up to him' in some way. This time is totally different. "You have no power over me"! I love at the end of the video when you say the person you miss the most is yourself. So true! I truly feel like I need to now protect and get to know my younger self, and bring her in to the now with my current self, whoever that may be. For the first time in a very long time I feel empowered. Thank you.
Here's 1 of the many things or (POB) that I've paid attention to with them...As long as you go, DO YOU, & live your life unbothered, what ever or whom ever they are giving their time & attention to will not last but so long, be it a week, a month or a year, they knew when they discarded you outta spite that they would possibly need to come back, that's why they never lose your number, never give closure, never completely close the door, narcs don't know if "the new supply" will work out or be a flop...And that goes for any new supply, be it me you or the next person...But they will miss you because they know just like you should know, you were good to them & did not deserve to be treated badly and truth be told, they didn't deserve any of us...
Thank you. You are so exact. It outlines exactly what happened, and allows me to realize the truth of it; rather than the dillusion. I do need therapy, many people don't understand that it was a truly traumatic experience that changes your life.
Respectfully...why would you want a demon to miss you? These people are not to be played with. Rather...one should be grateful if they leave and never look back❤❤❤
In the video the woman Just keep saying that the title is a kind of methaphore n it is not to go back. That this is the question one must ask starting for a point of anger n how to use this point do go forward n go away
Im embarrassed to say he discarded me and blocked me but i did send him many emails. I finally stopped but im on day 4. It has been 1 month since the discard. He went back to his ex whom he has treated horribly and she took him back. Its so sad how broken we are that we allow this to continue. I just want to heal, move on and never go back to him.
I am in the same boat. He discarded me and it’s been a month and I was reaching out nearly every day. Today is day one for me doing no contact. How has your healing been since you made this comment?
I N E V E R thought I would ever get out of this yo-yo narc nightmare with my mother and my ex. Always craving for them to validate me and miss me. I'm so gratefull that I'm now at this point of awareness, self healing,self discipline and self love that I don't really care even if they will even contact me again.Pure neutral grey rock. And I feel only pitty for any new supply human being that will come in their way.Not them,as I also gave up the fantasy that they will change. Thanks to Michele and her Thrivers School. Thank you!❤
Many ppl would want them to miss you "not" to go back with them but to have the satisfaction of knowing that it will be impossible if not a very long time to meet the type of person they lost. Its almost like a needed breath of air to ego and identity of the victim.
I needed to find this. This was perfect timing.I have been so emotional. Your words have given me hope and reassurance that I will heal from this break up. And be better than I was. Thank you ❤❤❤️
This video really helped me understand the final discard with my Dad this Christmas and with a former friend. I watched it again afterwards with my wife and we were both stunned with how accurate your analysis was. Thank you, you have helped to change my life x
You are so beautiful and amazing that it makes me cry, just knowing people like you exist brighten my life. I wish lots of love and success, thank you love. I hope you are so proud of yourself, even do I'm just a username to you, I hope you know you make a Huge positive impact to many xo
The narcissist will say they want to break up just to hear you say that you want to stay together. When you agree to the break-up, then they will say that they want to stay together. They will increase the level of abuse to the point where you leave them, and there will not be a talk about it because it is non-negotiable. THEN they will miss you, but it will not matter to you because you know they are not safe. There is nothing any flying monkey can say. to change the situation because your safety is truly what matters, and what a toxic individual thinks of you does not matter. Surely they did not appreciate you and your sincere efforts to love and connect with them. This realization about them can be used to validate your assessment that they are toxic, and you did the right thing by distancing yourself from them.
With any other video you are becoming more and more beautiful ❤ I am watching you from the almost beginning of my relationship with an horrific narcissist and you did helped me a lot! Thank you so much! Now i left him finely but still miss this times i was with him, i don't even know why, just i know i wouldn't go back, bc i know he will destroy me completely.
Its been 2 years since it ended. I still miss him but I do not miss the abuse. I am certain that I would not have been alive if I had stayed. He gave me what I wanted emotionally and psychologically and romantically and then took them all away.
Reading comments about “I wouldn’t have been alive”… would’ve made me think people are being dramatic..but now I see and think quite literally we wouldn’t be alive.. I’m going through it but haven’t officially broke away from
Even if my shortcomings dont trip me up,i will only blame "myself", if im responsible!!... Its important to me "to own up to what "im" responsible for..and also what im not in my life!!!
Wow is this woman ever sharp. I'm at least twice her age but she has helped me so much. I am still reeling from a discard by a narcissist. So few of her generation have such insights. You go, girl!!
I have a family member who is slowly closing in on everyone around me by buying them gifts, taking them out to eat, and when I am not invited she will casually act concerned about me asking why I am not married yet, why Im struggling with parenting, and so on. She does this with every family member but me around. It's very bizarre and I have had to delete all social media because she comments on my father's posts (this is his sister) and mentions me in such a strange way. It's almost like an obsession. The more I try to distance myself from her, the more she talks about me. This is a 60 year old woman. I'm to the point where I am about to stop speaking to my own father.
thats posing a very difficult question...in my situation...i am not sure yet...but i thank you very much for highlighting a very dangerous probability.. i just stopped contact with my father. but theres a worry inside of me...if he is really the perpetrator, or maybe the biggest victim? my mother hasnt yet made clear where she stands...and thats whats goint to seal the deal. I am so much worried about taking the wrong decision....
Yep, it just happened to me last week EXACTLY as you said. He went nuts because his brother added me on facebook (like he was scare that I was going to realize of so many of his lies trought him) and he said stuff and I gave him that asnwer, without knowing. I said, "You know what? I think you should just delete me and move on" and yea, he went more crazy, trying to made me feel like I was a very bad person and he couldnt trust me anymore but saying passive-aggresive things like "I am not doing this to hurt you its just that I cant trust you anymore" and then he blocked me from everything. So i will admit I fall for that and I begged... a week later, last friday, I started to feel better and I send him a final email just saying "Hope verything goes well for you, bye" and now I am moving on =)
Hi , Everything you described in the video explained what I went through. I've walked away from the toxic relationship 7 weeks ago and moved to another state and just about to be Myself again. I feel so free and not so tense anymore, the detachment feels great! Thank you for revealing what I already knew but couldn't figure it out. I'm healing and moving on to a happier life. 👍
The only trepadition i have is "true love" is something that has to be maintained,and sometimes down the line the heart can stray.... Thats the hurt part of loving to deeply....it takes work and thats why falling in love is bittersweet 😅....
9 years in. Yes it makes you wonder if you’re just crazy. You’re not. You just need to stay away and you will realize quickly you trust your judgment again ❤
We have to remember not to blame ourselfs for acting crazy and stupid ,with them the nervoussystem act That way. Forgive yourself and move on ❤️ We can do this We are Good persons the Good things Will come to us
I started saving many many years ago because I knew the day would come when I would need financial stability.. after being discarded by narc after 37 years, thank God I did save… I’m now on my own but at least I’m able to manage financially… not able to save near as much as I did but I try and put a little away when I can. I really sympathise with people who aren’t able to leave their narc because they have no income but, there are other ways if things get really bad, please don’t feel you have to stay, where there’s a will, there’s a way🩷
I agree: don't post negative emotions! Don't let them feed on your wounds! In a way, you create a void for them and that is an awfull place to be especially for a narcissist!
Yes, it's the back and forth yoyo business that leads to a person getting stuck. But it is that back and forth cycle that needs to be broken and *trying* to make her miss you isn't going to do that.
I don't understand why anyone would want to get dragged down again by a sadistic person. Why would you want this? I get the addiction part, but I still don't get the intentional masochism.
Maybe because we need to consciously integrate without being emotionally invested. It frees us to know we can see things for what they are and forgive ourselves at the same time.
I am a survivor of a narc abuse. So happy that I escaped the abuse she would spew on my daughter and me. I still have a molten-core happiness, a center that belongs to only me. I really appreciate what you said about re-wiring the brain from the impact of the narc. I have my sense of humor, I retain my empathy, my humane vulnerability w/others. That’s my superpower, my triumph, my equalizer, that frustrates and dismantles the narc in their attempt to alter my mood, push outcomes that are unhealthy, or pursue a manipulative path w/me. My narc radar is turned on not looking for but if & when encountered I know exactly what to do. Ask a narc this one devastating question. Ask them innocently, nonchalantly, what’s one thing they might do to improve themselves? Sit back and watch the fireworks. If this is a first date then their reaction tells you everything about their 🚩 red flags. Look for the green flag person instead. They’re still out there. All the best to narc survivors. 🎉😎 Forget them & Celebrate YOU! 🫶🫶
Cause thats something their "successful career money hooked lives", will never attain...."revenge is a dish best served cold",:and best be for the greater good....not the "revenge satisfaction"... Ive learned one thing so far in all this....."i value living a genuine life"!!
The OVER explaining thing I did so much before I knew all this~ There need for control is sooooo sick. My mother used to love to act like she didn't hear you when you said something ~ no response ~so naturally you would repeat yourself, just to find out she would answere your original question before you could repeat it. I guess these narcissist don't know about KARMA and REINCARNATION ~ because if you act like you cant hear people just to push there buttons ~don't be surprised your born deaf in the next life.
I am only PinPonging if I have nightmares in dreams. Otherwise my brain is razor blade sharp and clinically clean on what to do with a narcissist: run away 🤭
@@_iam1533 I can feel your problem. I knew only since 0.5 years that my wife is narcissist. Before I was only wondering why I have so many troubles. After that, I was studying all about narcissists and how to navigate in this situation. Of course, all situations are different. In my case I am not naïve anymore. I do not tell her how much money I have, and I insist on having my own space for meditation and making music, without her being around. But of course, I am 70 and do not need sex anymore and still have a few good friends and teachers. I am certainly now an expert for my case, but I know it can be really tough and might even need some help 🥰 Good luck. I was watching just today a video from Shiviani with the title: “1 Way to not get affected by negative people”. This might also help🤔
A marriage has been on a downward, unhappy track for a couple of years. One day the wife, in anger, says to the husband, "I hate myself, and you made me this way". Later, when a separation has been decided upon, but before the house is sold, she can't help herself, and adds to the husband, "You wasted eight years of my life", or, "You're going to die a lonely old man". Honest question: What are the chances that she might be a narcissist?
I recently had the final discard with someone and went no contact. The first two discards were heartbreaking for me but this third and final one I had done so much work on myself and was better educated on emotional abuse and was more like Spider-Man in Far From Home, I just blocked the sneak attack and "You can't trick me anymore." So a similar thing to the Labyrinth metaphor.
Just had an encounter with a narc woman stranger with a dagger stare and i ignored her and she went back to her flying monkey friends. It was like being in kindergarten again. 😔
They finally discarded me when I not only found out about them but took them to court. Manipulation was there tactic . Flipping it everytime. I was not neutral unfortunately I cried and there was no reaction. I spoke the truth and no response and lies lies lies. I finally have no contact with my sister. But still am bruised
This discard was the worst. She blamed me for everything and said I am insane for wanting her to talk to me and tell me what is going on. Which I did get mad when she would just ignore me for hours. Or disappear then act like I’m wrong for getting upset. I love her and I’m confused but this was the worst she’s ever said stuff about me. I think she resents me and is gone for good. She found someone else I’m sure and that hurts.
What’s the point to miss someone who has cheated on you multiple times in all kinds of ways shapes and forms? Yes, I miss her like nothing else but that person is gone and will never come back in my life again. It is an eternal pain.
1. Does this happen in a parent-child relationship? I guess it does. 2. What about in the case of a narcissistic friend? Like someone who calls themselves an empath but is getting narcissistic supply in subtle ways?
5:52 I'm just astound about this narc disorder all together I have never felt so much pain the day I finally decided to leave after being married 3yrs. It's felt like a pair of old tennis shoes that was worn out so I threw them out and went looking for a new pair. But today I 🎉😂 . Never going back. Never even heard of this ,how can someone be so cruel to a human 😔.
When they lure you back in.... And you're just about to Let down that boundary ......And Bam! They reveal to you once again the other side of the coin.... which is actually "the crazy"! The result is a panic attack for the one who almost took the bait.
I am so fortunate..in less than 2 years I could spot the NPD in her..profiting a conflict when she said "never call me again" I just found the best moment to leave her forever.. After that no turning back..now she is after me...but can never catch me😂
😂 this is an awesome video 🎉 Saying no to narcs drives them fcking crazy. Your job as the discard is to maintain an indifference and distance between the two of you. If not, just go non contact with this person all together. 😂😂😂 to ask a narc to put themselves in another persons shoes makes their head spin. Their inability to define empathy is laughable... Loose these kinds of people the first chance you get. Your life will exponentially improve. This all may sound harsh, but you need to put yourself first and reconcile with the fact that this person would never have been able to meet your emotional needs. Yes... it really was a fairytale if not a dream.. and this person did manipulate you to a point where you thought they were truely better than they actually are. Just remember; you're gunna be ok. You're gunna come out of this a stronger person. Fck em. What did they ever do for you? What did you do for them??? Case closed.
NARCISSIST # 1 DISCARDED ME X HISBAND 35 YRS. TO REALIZE NARCISSIST # 2 I DISCARDED HIM 3 YRS. TO REALIZED # 3 I DISCARDED HIM EARLIER TODAY IT TOOK ABOUT 8 MONTHS FOR ME TO FIGURE OUT THAT HE WAS A NARCISSIST I'M A WORK IN PROGRESS
I feel like I'm a strong person, but I got suckered by a professional narrsacist. 60 days was all, and I was sick when the relationship ended. Until I realized she was 100 percent narrsacist.
I don't want them to miss me either, i want fox news to turn more into a monster instead of helping them find real FIND FRIENDS and THAT'S what I want to do WITH my family MEMBERS and I want to be able to do WITH MY FAMILY and friends ARE FOR them TO MISS ME TO be challenging my life I am concerned about the MONEY IS THE opposite of what I WANT to do WITH MY FAMILY MEMBERS AND I WANT to DO WITH MY FAMILY MEMBERS AND I WANT fox NEWS to TURN MORE INTO A monster INSTEAD of HELPING THEM FIND REAL ways I can get A lot OF attention WHATS going on WITH THE Russian government AND the beast of the world TO be challenging MY LIFE I AM concerned about THE MONEY IS THE opposite OF WHAT I WANT
I hope mine will one just to hear from her. That I even cross her mind. I have no idea if she’s watching me online. Not heard from her in over a year other then to be angry when I sent her back her things as she requested. She was quite angry because her countries customs wanted 10.00. lol. Wouldn’t mind something
I don’t want them to miss me. I want them to go away and forget about me. 😢
That's PROGRESS! 🙋
👍 ⭐ 🌟 ⭐ 🌟 ⭐ 💯
Yes! I feel the same, i love them but i cannot do this any longer its been 15 years..there is only so much someone can be pushed and i never thought id ever break this trauma bond but its finally happened. It doesnt mean i dont wish it could of been different im just ready to let this go, i loved him so much and we have 2 babies but im a shell of a person and im ready to be happy again. I agree’d when he discarded me a few weeks ago that it was over and straight away he obviously didnt like that he wanted me to beg and plead for him to not end things..i didnt i shifted something in my mind and was ready for this to be over but then the stuff he did after, the love bombing, the toxic awful stuff, he began doing anything to make me come back round where i just felt like i just had to go along with it to stop him being in this reactionary mode. What now?
Me too! 🥲
You’re not getting the point silly
Knowledge is power. Do I want them to miss me even though I never want them back? Absolutely! Tables have turned!
This!!!!
They always think the grass is greener. Lol!!!! NOT!!!! It's brown n dead😮
@@digdug9275hahahaha❤😂 right!!
If missing me brings them pain.......I'm all in !
Also this
Thats narcissistic! Lol...
That’s what I said😂😂. First it was heck no I want them to go away why would I want them to care.. but I’d rather
Them have pain too.. while my number is changed and everything
@@LeahScott-p8q yes revenge is a dish best served cold, and on blocked haha
After 7 1/2 years I don’t even know who I am anymore. I can’t remember the last time I laughed
@@ashx2643same
I know what you mean. I wish you all the best. You deserve it
@@javieracuna8180 thank you. I want to leave so badly, but am paralyzed with fear and a huge lack of confidence
It’s difficult, I’m the same, I feel so lost at times, so alone, so worthless!! But, at least we have peace, no more being scared to say anything, scared to do anything, scared to disagree with them…. Scared to be yourself, that’s why we don’t know who we are at times, for so long we havn’t been allowed to be ourselves, we’ve lived their lives, did what they wanted, agreed with them, although in our minds we didn’t. We’ve been so used to being what they wanted us to be we lost our identity, lost our personalities, lost our voice. I’m hoping all these things will eventually come back but, after being with ex narc 37 years, it could take time, how long? Only time will tell. I wish you well🩷
Them missing me is the last thing I would care about.
You say....watching a video you searched for to answer the question. Come on be honest with yourself at least!
[I want mine to miss me]
I think they also miss the Empath especially since they are devoid of adult empathy... the miss someone like an empath and their unconditional empathy, they kniw as well its not likely they will find it in new supply....
Somehow i always maintained "a sense of self"!!... Thank god
No contact at any cost!!!📵🔥
I think stay in contact and make them believe you are still under their thumb so they don't try to sabotage relationships around you.
This video is such a blessing. Thank you.
Recently was discarded for the 4th time, (18 year on again / off again). After the first 3 discards I always felt like it was my fault, and carried so much shame. So when he would contact me again I would always go back and try to 'make it right', or 'make it up to him' in some way. This time is totally different. "You have no power over me"! I love at the end of the video when you say the person you miss the most is yourself. So true! I truly feel like I need to now protect and get to know my younger self, and bring her in to the now with my current self, whoever that may be. For the first time in a very long time I feel empowered. Thank you.
Here's 1 of the many things or (POB) that I've paid attention to with them...As long as you go, DO YOU, & live your life unbothered, what ever or whom ever they are giving their time & attention to will not last but so long, be it a week, a month or a year, they knew when they discarded you outta spite that they would possibly need to come back, that's why they never lose your number, never give closure, never completely close the door, narcs don't know if "the new supply" will work out or be a flop...And that goes for any new supply, be it me you or the next person...But they will miss you because they know just like you should know, you were good to them & did not deserve to be treated badly and truth be told, they didn't deserve any of us...
It depends on what the need the narcissist has for you if she/he uses you to be the one to find new narcissistic supply but don’t want you back in
Thank you. You are so exact. It outlines exactly what happened, and allows me to realize the truth of it; rather than the dillusion. I do need therapy, many people don't understand that it was a truly traumatic experience that changes your life.
👍 I liked this part: "you have no power over me." 🙏👌💯
Honestly after watching this, if have to say that what you explained is all so true! I wish that I could like this video with 100 likes! 😊❤️❤️❤️
It's very freeing! We are each at the helm & need to choose wisely. 💞
Respectfully...why would you want a demon to miss you? These people are not to be played with. Rather...one should be grateful if they leave and never look back❤❤❤
Right ….once you know they’re a crazy person that can never be fixed what’s the point
Absolutely Dangerous I know
In the video the woman Just keep saying that the title is a kind of methaphore n it is not to go back. That this is the question one must ask starting for a point of anger n how to use this point do go forward n go away
Good idea to watch the first 30 seconds of the video before commenting
It's because of Cognitive dissonance and trauma bonds. You can look them up and it will explain it better. It's kinda crazy sounding I know .
Im embarrassed to say he discarded me and blocked me but i did send him many emails. I finally stopped but im on day 4. It has been 1 month since the discard. He went back to his ex whom he has treated horribly and she took him back. Its so sad how broken we are that we allow this to continue. I just want to heal, move on and never go back to him.
I am in the same boat. He discarded me and it’s been a month and I was reaching out nearly every day. Today is day one for me doing no contact. How has your healing been since you made this comment?
I N E V E R thought I would ever get out of this yo-yo narc nightmare with my mother and my ex. Always craving for them to validate me and miss me.
I'm so gratefull that I'm now at this point of awareness, self healing,self discipline and self love that I don't really care even if they will even contact me again.Pure neutral grey rock. And I feel only pitty for any new supply human being that will come in their way.Not them,as I also gave up the fantasy that they will change. Thanks to Michele and her Thrivers School. Thank you!❤
Excellent video and information!thank you Michelle😊
Many ppl would want them to miss you "not" to go back with them but to have the satisfaction of knowing that it will be impossible if not a very long time to meet the type of person they lost. Its almost like a needed breath of air to ego and identity of the victim.
Just keeping it real here... It strokes my ego if I know they miss me and I like that feeling.
I needed to find this. This was perfect timing.I have been so emotional. Your words have given me hope and reassurance that I will heal from this break up. And be better than I was. Thank you ❤❤❤️
Omg Michelle your before pic, so telling. Thank you for your heart
Thank you, it's something I needed to hear right now. Amazing.
This video really helped me understand the final discard with my Dad this Christmas and with a former friend. I watched it again afterwards with my wife and we were both stunned with how accurate your analysis was. Thank you, you have helped to change my life x
You are so beautiful and amazing that it makes me cry, just knowing people like you exist brighten my life. I wish lots of love and success, thank you love. I hope you are so proud of yourself, even do I'm just a username to you, I hope you know you make a Huge positive impact to many xo
Thanks Michele this video was so helpful! ☺️
The narcissist will say they want to break up just to hear you say that you want to stay together. When you agree to the break-up, then they will say that they want to stay together. They will increase the level of abuse to the point where you leave them, and there will not be a talk about it because it is non-negotiable. THEN they will miss you, but it will not matter to you because you know they are not safe. There is nothing any flying monkey can say. to change the situation because your safety is truly what matters, and what a toxic individual thinks of you does not matter. Surely they did not appreciate you and your sincere efforts to love and connect with them. This realization about them can be used to validate your assessment that they are toxic, and you did the right thing by distancing yourself from them.
How do you get them to walk away themselves?
Give them zero supply. They will move on.
With any other video you are becoming more and more beautiful ❤ I am watching you from the almost beginning of my relationship with an horrific narcissist and you did helped me a lot! Thank you so much! Now i left him finely but still miss this times i was with him, i don't even know why, just i know i wouldn't go back, bc i know he will destroy me completely.
yes I'm watching this without wanting him back :)
Its been 2 years since it ended. I still miss him but I do not miss the abuse. I am certain that I would not have been alive if I had stayed. He gave me what I wanted emotionally and psychologically and romantically and then took them all away.
Reading comments about “I wouldn’t have been alive”… would’ve made me think people are being dramatic..but now I see and think quite literally we wouldn’t be alive.. I’m going through it but haven’t officially broke away from
Even if my shortcomings dont trip me up,i will only blame "myself", if im responsible!!... Its important to me "to own up to what "im" responsible for..and also what im not in my life!!!
Marvelous. Full of wisdom. Do what she says, folks!
Yes I was thinking of that labyrinth quote when my heart finally cut the cord on the narc! ❤️
Wow is this woman ever sharp. I'm at least twice her age but she has helped me so much. I am still reeling from a discard by a narcissist. So few of her generation have such insights. You go, girl!!
I have a family member who is slowly closing in on everyone around me by buying them gifts, taking them out to eat, and when I am not invited she will casually act concerned about me asking why I am not married yet, why Im struggling with parenting, and so on. She does this with every family member but me around. It's very bizarre and I have had to delete all social media because she comments on my father's posts (this is his sister) and mentions me in such a strange way. It's almost like an obsession. The more I try to distance myself from her, the more she talks about me. This is a 60 year old woman. I'm to the point where I am about to stop speaking to my own father.
thats posing a very difficult question...in my situation...i am not sure yet...but i thank you very much for highlighting a very dangerous probability.. i just stopped contact with my father. but theres a worry inside of me...if he is really the perpetrator, or maybe the biggest victim? my mother hasnt yet made clear where she stands...and thats whats goint to seal the deal. I am so much worried about taking the wrong decision....
Triangulation
Yes I have seen this happening they get worse every time so calculated and discusting
Yep, it just happened to me last week EXACTLY as you said. He went nuts because his brother added me on facebook (like he was scare that I was going to realize of so many of his lies trought him) and he said stuff and I gave him that asnwer, without knowing. I said, "You know what? I think you should just delete me and move on" and yea, he went more crazy, trying to made me feel like I was a very bad person and he couldnt trust me anymore but saying passive-aggresive things like "I am not doing this to hurt you its just that I cant trust you anymore" and then he blocked me from everything. So i will admit I fall for that and I begged... a week later, last friday, I started to feel better and I send him a final email just saying "Hope verything goes well for you, bye" and now I am moving on =)
I realized that a person CANNOT have "everything" in life
I feel like you made this for me Michelle 💚✌🏿
Hi , Everything you described in the video explained what I went through. I've walked away from the toxic relationship 7 weeks ago and moved to another state and just about to be Myself again. I feel so free and not so tense anymore, the detachment feels great! Thank you for revealing what I already knew but couldn't figure it out.
I'm healing and moving on to a happier life. 👍
The only trepadition i have is "true love" is something that has to be maintained,and sometimes down the line the heart can stray.... Thats the hurt part of loving to deeply....it takes work and thats why falling in love is bittersweet 😅....
I am so stuck between these conflicting thoughts. I am not able to get out of it 😭 Sometimes I feel like giving up my life. I feel so suffocated 😭
it's going to b ok take your space
9 years in. Yes it makes you wonder if you’re just crazy. You’re not. You just need to stay away and you will realize quickly you trust your judgment again ❤
I dont want they miss me. I want they are away and never come back to my life.
Excellent advice Michelle you ROCK❤
I too miss myself and want to regain. This was really helpful in knowing that I am actually not hurting my narcissist relationship
Preach! 💯💯💯
Ok Michelle I’ll implement those changes
We have to remember not to blame ourselfs for acting crazy and stupid ,with them the nervoussystem act That way. Forgive yourself and move on ❤️ We can do this We are Good persons the Good things Will come to us
Thank you! A very good one. Useful, totally true 👍
Thank you it is helpful ! I was discarded by a narcissist a month ago
I think that I should get a point that it doesn't matter to me.. 😊
youre a special one!
This video is like whoa! Thank you!
Amazing advice 👏 👌 🙌
Incredibly great video!
Just need a job and enough finances to get away. 😢
that's the normal
I started saving many many years ago because I knew the day would come when I would need financial stability.. after being discarded by narc after 37 years, thank God I did save… I’m now on my own but at least I’m able to manage financially… not able to save near as much as I did but I try and put a little away when I can. I really sympathise with people who aren’t able to leave their narc because they have no income but, there are other ways if things get really bad, please don’t feel you have to stay, where there’s a will, there’s a way🩷
🙏 FOR YOU
RIght😢. I have a job but not enough sources
@@LeahScott-p8q Prayers for you, Leah.
I agree: don't post negative emotions! Don't let them feed on your wounds! In a way, you create a void for them and that is an awfull place to be especially for a narcissist!
This video is an eye opener.Thank you
Yes, it's the back and forth yoyo business that leads to a person getting stuck. But it is that back and forth cycle that needs to be broken and *trying* to make her miss you isn't going to do that.
I was about to leave a comment without watching but it was cleared up in the first minute.
I don't understand why anyone would want to get dragged down again by a sadistic person. Why would you want this? I get the addiction part, but I still don't get the intentional masochism.
Maybe because we need to consciously integrate without being emotionally invested. It frees us to know we can see things for what they are and forgive ourselves at the same time.
I am a survivor of a narc abuse. So happy that I escaped the abuse she would spew on my daughter and me. I still have a molten-core happiness, a center that belongs to only me. I really appreciate what you said about re-wiring the brain from the impact of the narc. I have my sense of humor, I retain my empathy, my humane vulnerability w/others. That’s my superpower, my triumph, my equalizer, that frustrates and dismantles the narc in their attempt to alter my mood, push outcomes that are unhealthy, or pursue a manipulative path w/me. My narc radar is turned on not looking for but if & when encountered I know exactly what to do. Ask a narc this one devastating question. Ask them innocently, nonchalantly, what’s one thing they might do to improve themselves? Sit back and watch the fireworks. If this is a first date then their reaction tells you everything about their 🚩 red flags. Look for the green flag person instead. They’re still out there. All the best to narc survivors. 🎉😎 Forget them & Celebrate YOU! 🫶🫶
Cause thats something their "successful career money hooked lives", will never attain...."revenge is a dish best served cold",:and best be for the greater good....not the "revenge satisfaction"... Ive learned one thing so far in all this....."i value living a genuine life"!!
The OVER explaining thing I did so much before I knew all this~ There need for control is sooooo sick. My mother used to love to act like she didn't hear you when you said something ~ no response ~so naturally you would repeat yourself, just to find out she would answere your original question before you could repeat it. I guess these narcissist don't know about KARMA and REINCARNATION ~ because if you act like you cant hear people just to push there buttons ~don't be surprised your born deaf in the next life.
No matter how much of the monopoly board they own,... Life doesn't work like that!!
I am only PinPonging if I have nightmares in dreams. Otherwise my brain is razor blade sharp and clinically clean on what to do with a narcissist: run away 🤭
Know what you mean about the dreams. Only had one but it was wnough
@@wtcmedic911 Yes, I am sorry. Everything goes over. In a few years you will see things differently 🥰
My nightmares are not stopping 😭 Its been years
@@_iam1533 I can feel your problem. I knew only since 0.5 years that my wife is narcissist. Before I was only wondering why I have so many troubles. After that, I was studying all about narcissists and how to navigate in this situation. Of course, all situations are different. In my case I am not naïve anymore. I do not tell her how much money I have, and I insist on having my own space for meditation and making music, without her being around. But of course, I am 70 and do not need sex anymore and still have a few good friends and teachers. I am certainly now an expert for my case, but I know it can be really tough and might even need some help 🥰 Good luck. I was watching just today a video from Shiviani with the title: “1 Way to not get affected by negative people”. This might also help🤔
I was watching just today a video from Shiviani: “1 Way to not get affected by negative people” This might also help 🤔
I love it.thank you very much ❤
Thank you for this
A marriage has been on a downward, unhappy track for a couple of years. One day the wife, in anger, says to the husband, "I hate myself, and you made me this way". Later, when a separation has been decided upon, but before the house is sold, she can't help herself, and adds to the husband, "You wasted eight years of my life", or, "You're going to die a lonely old man". Honest question: What are the chances that she might be a narcissist?
Don't even think about it. Run, never look back. Pray they never think about you again. You don't want them to miss you.
Excellent !!
I am stuck. Stuck for 2 years. Ty!
Michele, when you don't give in to there tactics of trying to extract emotional supply, do they know at that point your on to them?
Yes and their brewing with anxiety
Thanks
I recently had the final discard with someone and went no contact. The first two discards were heartbreaking for me but this third and final one I had done so much work on myself and was better educated on emotional abuse and was more like Spider-Man in Far From Home, I just blocked the sneak attack and "You can't trick me anymore." So a similar thing to the Labyrinth metaphor.
Plus the gang of salivating blood relative narcissist 's , that in reality should love you unconditionally,GET REAL TIGHT!!!!
I have said this before on a similar video in the past and that is why on earth would you want to make them miss you?
God bless you 🙏
Just had an encounter with a narc woman stranger with a dagger stare and i ignored her and she went back to her flying monkey friends. It was like being in kindergarten again. 😔
They finally discarded me when I not only found out about them but took them to court. Manipulation was there tactic . Flipping it everytime. I was not neutral unfortunately I cried and there was no reaction. I spoke the truth and no response and lies lies lies. I finally have no contact with my sister. But still am bruised
This discard was the worst. She blamed me for everything and said I am insane for wanting her to talk to me and tell me what is going on. Which I did get mad when she would just ignore me for hours. Or disappear then act like I’m wrong for getting upset.
I love her and I’m confused but this was the worst she’s ever said stuff about me. I think she resents me and is gone for good. She found someone else I’m sure and that hurts.
Excellent ❤
What’s the point to miss someone who has cheated on you multiple times in all kinds of ways shapes and forms?
Yes, I miss her like nothing else but that person is gone and will never come back in my life again. It is an eternal pain.
Never desired a "showpiece"... Most people sense shit like that....
The narcissist will miss you if you dodge out of the way.
1. Does this happen in a parent-child relationship? I guess it does.
2. What about in the case of a narcissistic friend? Like someone who calls themselves an empath but is getting narcissistic supply in subtle ways?
5:52 I'm just astound about this narc disorder all together I have never felt so much pain the day I finally decided to leave after being married 3yrs. It's felt like a pair of old tennis shoes that was worn out so I threw them out and went looking for a new pair. But today I 🎉😂 . Never going back. Never even heard of this ,how can someone be so cruel to a human 😔.
When they lure you back in.... And you're just about to Let down that boundary ......And Bam! They reveal to you once again the other side of the coin.... which is actually "the crazy"! The result is
a panic attack for the one who almost took the bait.
I want as far off his radar that I'm just a distant memory to him. No missing me necessary!
Please know the only way they miss you truly is they miss having control of you. Run.
If i have nothing to show for my life,i refuse to die a liar and a fraud,like my mother chooses!!
Awareness!!!!!! It’s the only cure.
I am so fortunate..in less than 2 years I could spot the NPD in her..profiting a conflict when she said "never call me again" I just found the best moment to leave her forever.. After that no turning back..now she is after me...but can never catch me😂
😂 this is an awesome video 🎉
Saying no to narcs drives them fcking crazy. Your job as the discard is to maintain an indifference and distance between the two of you. If not, just go non contact with this person all together.
😂😂😂 to ask a narc to put themselves in another persons shoes makes their head spin. Their inability to define empathy is laughable...
Loose these kinds of people the first chance you get. Your life will exponentially improve.
This all may sound harsh, but you need to put yourself first and reconcile with the fact that this person would never have been able to meet your emotional needs.
Yes... it really was a fairytale if not a dream.. and this person did manipulate you to a point where you thought they were truely better than they actually are.
Just remember; you're gunna be ok. You're gunna come out of this a stronger person. Fck em. What did they ever do for you? What did you do for them???
Case closed.
NARCISSIST # 1 DISCARDED ME X HISBAND 35 YRS. TO REALIZE
NARCISSIST # 2 I DISCARDED HIM 3 YRS. TO REALIZED
# 3 I DISCARDED HIM EARLIER TODAY IT TOOK ABOUT 8 MONTHS FOR ME TO FIGURE OUT THAT HE WAS A NARCISSIST
I'M A WORK IN PROGRESS
I feel like I'm a strong person, but I got suckered by a professional narrsacist. 60 days was all, and I was sick when the relationship ended. Until I realized she was 100 percent narrsacist.
But im still a closet "basket case",and appreciate your honesty that healing "is not easy"!!... With this form of hollow vain tramau
I dont want them to miss me either, i want fox news to turn more into a monster instead of helping them find real friends
I don't want them to miss me either, i want fox news to turn more into a monster instead of helping them find real FIND FRIENDS and THAT'S what I want to do WITH my family MEMBERS and I want to be able to do WITH MY FAMILY and friends ARE FOR them TO MISS ME TO be challenging my life I am concerned about the MONEY IS THE opposite of what I WANT to do WITH MY FAMILY MEMBERS AND I WANT to DO WITH MY FAMILY MEMBERS AND I WANT fox NEWS to TURN MORE INTO A monster INSTEAD of HELPING THEM FIND REAL ways I can get A lot OF attention WHATS going on WITH THE Russian government AND the beast of the world TO be challenging MY LIFE I AM concerned about THE MONEY IS THE opposite OF WHAT I WANT
Mine absolutely HATES my best friend
I hope mine will one just to hear from her. That I even cross her mind. I have no idea if she’s watching me online. Not heard from her in over a year other then to be angry when I sent her back her things as she requested. She was quite angry because her countries customs wanted 10.00. lol. Wouldn’t mind something
That's there problem
Becky 🇬🇧 🇬🇧