Hi guys!! Just wanted to share info. about my upcoming life coaching certification course. Some people plan to become life coaches - others 'fall into it'. I think when a person has gone through something so life altering, something that pushed them outside the realms of their authentic self, something that so profoundly changed not only their self perception, but altered their nervous system, dis-regulated their brain and warped their reality..... and yet when they manage to reconnect with self, and heal the deep emotional wounds that are hidden to the naked eye and misunderstood by those that have never been through an experience like that - well, it's only natural to feel a deep desire to want to help others that have been through that. That's how I 'fell into coaching' and it's been an amazing experience to help individuals all over the world to break through the side effects of cptsd and/or side effects of narcissistic abuse. If YOU are interested in becoming a life coach - be sure to check out my website: micheleleenieves.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-coaching-certification/
@@deehyatt5173 it's like walking through a minefield I never know with her movies going to be like. He changed it always just to bother me . she takes advantage of my kindness and she knows I won't leave because of the children.
Things weren't going great, my Dad happened to pass. 2 days later I'm fixing her car using the flashlight. First time I ever looked at her messages - she had been talking to someone else since literally the day my Dad died. She moved herself in to my place at that point..... Fortunately she was able to go right back to her parents basement. I still didn't leave the relationship at that point.
Right... the goal, if is to not have an investment in their missing you or anything, for that matter. Narcissists do not have the capacity for missing you as an entity separate from them "self". I put that in parenthesis re having a self to begin with. if you miss the good times you had with that person, however inauthentic as it may have been; well alright that makes you more human. But don't ever think that there was anything so unique about it that it cannot happen for you (good times) with an authentic and caring individual. Read the book "On Caring" by Milton Mayeroff. I think we need to get back to basics about what it is to care about someone and be cared about. This along with what the characteristics of a healthy and unhealthy relationship is essential reading for all.
Susanne C then your dealing with a true narcissist people that label on everything a true narcissistic relationship can end up being a deadly one, malignant self love, look at that.
Very nicely put! I see plenty of narcissistic people on this video thinking they are immune... I'm here seeking truth. Gotta lot of armchair psychologists out here with no self-awareness.
Five years post break up now. To anyone going through this--- they aren't worth another thought. Don't bother trying to make them miss you because they don't have the capacity to experience NORMAL human emotion. Separate yourself from the awful experience, expel them from your lives, go NO CONTACT, and focus on yourselves. Focus on getting your own lives collected, be strong and carry on through the grief. Please believe me--- you WILL heal, and you will be MUCH, MUCH stronger for enduring this! None of us ever could have anticipated the crazy-making they injected into our lives, but we can learn from it, and once we get through it, we can help others find their way through it as well. It is horrifically painful, terribly confusing, but those feelings and thoughts will pass in time! By all means, keep reading and keep learning. You will survive the narcopath experience-- you WILL survive this!! Wishing you all the best!!
@@ladyllf48 Same here. Please hang in there, and don’t go back. Just yesterday I broke off an engagement (and changed states) with a vulnerable narcissistic woman. At first, she was everything I could have ever wanted, emotionally, spiritually, sexually, politically, mentally, physically, and philosophically. In the end spent 1.5 years living with her and her twin sister while I’ve been trying to finish up the last year of my PhD. I’m still finishing it btw. She, her twin sister, her mom, and her grandma are all covert/vulnerable narcissists (with self-righteous/communal/malignant traits). I’m finding myself going crazy. Right now I feel like I’m walking back into my own mind and realizing how disorganized and chaotic it has become. I feel like I don’t where I am anymore cognitively. The days had felt like I’m constantly walking into a room and forgetting why I’m there. It’s been exhausting, stimulating, aggravating, lonely, and strange. Still, each day feels more right than the last, even though I’m jarred by the cycles of self-doubt and then reassurance. You aren’t alone.
Thank you, Kate❤ I received this....going through my personal healing now, after I let this go over a month ago. Doing my best to focus on my own life, and my own journey beyond the darkness. Sometimes I get so upset with myself for not walking away YEARS ago.......Ive dealt with this for 7 tumultuous years! I've never been involved in a toxic; narcissistic relationship of this kind, but at least I'm moving forward NOW. God bless you🙏🏼🦋💜✨🌞
Sky Blue Girl, stop making excuses! When you get hurt bad enough you will leave....or eventually, he will wear you out and then leave you! Either way, you WILL get hurt. So go ahead and keep stay involved...your the one that's hurting. I had kids with my Ex....we went thru courts too! However, when I was DONE it was OVER! Yeah, I still had to do a couple child support court visits but I did it without having to deal with him. Just go to court! Same thing with the kids...he can see/get his kids without seeing/dealing with you. No EXCUSES!
Gemini Love how do you go no contact when you work in close approximate and they might bump to you all the time and you can not leave your work go no contact?????? Any advise?????
Thank you well said. I gave my energy to draining mindsets Everytime I was focussed on my life, goals living peacefully a demon would pop up coming back and I made the stupid mistake to go along even when I never missed them!!!!!!!!!!!! Have to rebuild myself all over again now. I can't smile I drained and I feel no life flow. It will take a while before I feel myself again because this time I've been polluted and hurt real bad.. The last incident was me confronting a fake friend my eyes opened I saw his agenda, trying to abuse me frequently. Blocked him called him a narcissist etc but I'm feeling so tired now. I'm very angry they crossed my boundaries have to heal myself now and burn it away all of the bad atmospheres they put me in because I was ok before these wolves approached me. Watching u tube helps and makes me more aware of signals. I'm sure I'll meet another one. Btw I didn't meet them online but through daily unexpected situations. Twice. Both violated me badly mentally and physically in my own house I trusted the wrong ones. Can't indo it just hoping this torturing feeling will leave me which I'm sensing since the last one. Hard to explain but as if somebody is constantly taking my energy. The thought of it makes me angry and agressive, not towards a person but within me. Which feels exhausting and stressing. Frustration in my body even though I closed the door blocked. Takes time I guess.
They dont miss you they miss the thought of you being around and doing everything for them all so they can turn around and make you out to be the bad guy as well as the one that did everything terrible they did to you... Blameshifting at its finest! They do it so well they then lure in their next victim and make themselves out to be the victim of their last relationship to get the new victim feeling sorry for them and within 8 months to a year or so when they know they have their new victim eating out of the palm of their hands they start the same things they did to you. Damaging person after person after person like it's their life goal... it's sickening
It’s not about making the narcissist miss you it’s about accepting what has happened and letting go. Constantly thinking about the narcissist will subconsciously turn you into a narcissist cause you’ll imagine the narcissist grovelling for your attention so you can reject them. Life is a never ending lesson but we should do what we can to overcome our insecurities and focus on what’s important. In doing so we appreciate the ones who actually care about us and we look at life more positively.
She did stress the point that the narcissist losing their control over you is what they miss the most. The reverse psychology aspect of it, which is what low level contact or no contact can accomplish.
"Constantly thinking about narrisccist" What this does is turn you into a unattended 'victim'. I'm learning as I detox after discovering woman I loved was covert malnigant narriccist. Oh! She recently won malprarice lawsuit making her a multi-millionaire. I'm so glad I chose peace of mind > evil person, I have no ideal who they are anymore.
The best revenge is a life well lived. The key is recover, be happy, do well, be a success...and just keep going never looking back. And laugh when you look in the mirror and know you won.
I have some gripe with advice like this though because what if after the relationship you're still not doing well? "Success" and good fortune are oftentimes circumstantial and I don't think it's super healthy to believe that once you leave the narcissist everything is going to be sunshine and roses. It takes a lot of work and time to heal from abuse.
La Cross Ms. Cross my ex (narc), calls me from different numbers, literally have their mom spying on me, found out they listen by my door. It's been hell. I'm getting a T.R.O. if you know what that is.
Five tips about what to do: 1. Exercise emotional discipline. Let him have the last word while breaking up with you. 2. No contact. Block. Unfriend. Unfollow. Delete his phone number. 3. Don't post about the break up. Do NOT show any pain/emotion. 4. Don't talk to common friends about the relationship break up. 5. Get active. Show your happiness. I hope I understood it correctly. Thank you.
This is one of the few posts that aren't narcissistic. Of course this video is narcissistic so the comment section is basically a honey trap for narcissism.
1) exercise emotional discipline 2) No contact: block, unfriend, unfollow, delete. 3) do not post anything about the breakup... No sayings nothing! 4) Dont discuss the break up with anyone the narcissist can contact! 5) Get active and go out and post about yourself 🤣🤣🤣 lol guysss after three years i got the notification saw my comment had a good laugh hahaha ..... Post about yourself gurliess... Amd let me tell you i am happy and freee from the NA💯
My Ex Narc discarded me and left me a tormenting info that everyone knew I did him wrong. Like he knows I am affected on what people think so he left me to feel the pain, anxiety and trauma. It’s been 4 months and I’m still suffering and he is getting narcissistic supply from my agony.
Energy conversion, it's biomagnetics, seeing the true self and other separately and as one. It's nothing about narcissism, it's about 'spirituallity' or rather the biomagnetic nature of humans. I try not to blame others for how I react, but I do when others explode because I state something they don't want to hear.
No contact. Don't worry about whether they miss you or not. Get out. No contact. Don't look back. Look forward and live your sacred life. There is only one you on this planet. Don't squander your uniqueness on a narcissist.
If you forgive them for what they did to you, the pain goes away and the healing begins. Be the bigger person. They don't even need to know you forgave them.
It's a defense mechanism, it requires an extra helping of compassion and understanding, can be very frustrating to deal with but if understood objectively and tolerated on that level while keeping the goal of healing and emotional growth at top priority, you can still reach them despite their efforts to sabotage... t When they try to sabotage, they dont actually want to succeed. And, if given a clear choice, they will usually speak from their hearts in word or deed. For instance, if she is pushing to sabotage things going smoothly between you two, it is because she is afraid that she is in the calm before the storm so to speak. She might be unaware that her pushing is actually causing the storms to happen. With an objective view, you will become able to predict when her behaviors will change and become sabotagy... threats a real good time to set boundaries and bring her attention to the pathology. Tell her, "I understand that you have a lot of anxiety and that you are afraid of being hurt, that's why you are doing/saying.... but I need you to know that I can deal with... but i cannot deal with... if you really want to hurt our relationship, if that's what you really want, keep doing/saying.... however, if you really want to preserve what we have do/dont do.... then make her choice even more clear by stating what your chosen response will be based on whatever behaviors. Make it clear that you are creating boundaries for yourself and that if she did the same she would be happier as well. And sometimes, you can simply ask. Do your really mean.... or are you just saying that to lash out defensively? What is happening is extreme emotional immaturity, this stems from having emotional growth stunted at a very young age through traumas that she didnt deserve to have happen to her. Being kind and compassionate while taking an objective approach to perceiving the pathology can make a huge difference in her life and if you are patient and persevering, you wi help her grow emotionally into a much better, calmer, more confident and at peace version of her wonderful self. Let's face it, you would not love her if she were not wonderful when her wounds are not showing. Love her while her wounds are also showing and you can help to heal them.
@@JakeJustJake-cv3gh Wish I did..She discarded me now after 5 years...She's ruined something that was really good..Wish I'd made her feel more secure..She isolated her family too etc.. Mask has slipped..Big mess
Soooo true. I befriended a person who I saw as marginalized by others for the most part and was kind and generous but just knew they were 'odd' and bitter and yep when I fell very ill this person whom I had reached out to in friendship and if they had remained decent they would have had a great friend in me, but their intent is to destroy people and when I became ill, the abuses started and the bizarre phone calls etc...and the narc trying to make me believe something was wrong with me instead of them...so they lost me in their life and any good that would have come of the friendship...so yep sabotaged themselves...too bad! No contact from here on out.
The narcissist feeds of of our emotions, love or hate they don’t care. The one thing they cannot stand and which drives them crazy is your indifference to them. Be indifferent, adopt the Japanese idea of the “cold-face”. Show nothing, give nothing...they soon get bored and go away. My father told me “The opposite of love isn’t hate...it is indifference”
This is soo true! People think the opposite of love is hate, but it is not. Someone from a support group advised me to act as if you are indifferent to the breakup, to treat it as neither good nor bad.. Until you finally really feel neutral towards it. Maybe that helps
I've been with my narcissistic boyfriend for six years. The reason why we could survive this long is my indifference to him. If he tries to act smart, I get facts to act smarter. If he seeks attention, I don't give it to him. If he did something bad, I ignore him till he apologises. I make my own rules and he makes his
I just move on and it helps with getting over them. I have no attraction or feelings for any of these men in my past. I actually find them all repulsive. Most of them have contacted me a few months after discard, but I have no desire to talk to them anymore. The best feeling ever!!!! Winning!!!!!
SeeNoEvilHearNoEvil that's why you are not one.....that's very good but honestly when you don't get the care and love from parents it affects children in various ways,some children grow even stronger and some become mentally ill and some even become mentally unstable with some other emotional setbacks....l agree but mostly childhood traumas create them
i was my ex narcissist little yoyo! after i walked after being dumped, she dangled carrots and i kept reaching for them only to be toyed with.. so i deleted her from all social sites.. i wished and prayed shed text me or run into her so i could reject her and get my power back... well , after 5 months of NC, i ran into her at the grocery store. as i was walking to my car she was reverse parking. when she got out of the car and saw me, she smiled sooooooo big! like as if seeing jhonny depp.. i just waved and kept walking, when i looked again, she gave me a pouting face,, so i waved goodbye and go in my car and road off into the i got my power back sunset!!! woohoo!!! i dont care what anyone says. after being stripped of your power, toyed with and used for years, rejecting them makes you feel sooooooooooooo good!!! and it is good for your mental health! now she knows face to face eye to eye, i walked right out of her life with my power in my hands.... Thank you Jesus!
Just be careful Jim....she will be scheming for as long as it takes to do the same. Keep out of dark Alleys, maybe move state and let Nature keep her busy and away from you! Remember they have flying monkeys in the spirit world working in tandem!
I agree, I wrote a post in response to this but took it down. I dont understand this whole mentality about WANTING them to miss you. Are you breaking it off, or are you sitting in the sidelines waiting for them to make contact???How will you know they miss you, if you have no contact with them?? and if they are a true narcissist, can they even really have those emotions??? Just say goodbye and go on!!!
Agree. I hesitate to diagnose people, but I’ve definitely been involved with people who have unhealthy narcissism if not NPD. I’ve gone no contact whenever practical, limited contact when necessary, and honestly... I don’t know or care if these individuals miss me or not. I assume not, I’m not really good supply. I am empathic enough to feel compassion for them but I’m also pragmatic. If the main purpose I serve in someone’s life is to be abused so they can feel good, that’s not my cup of ☕️. Wish them well, miss the good times, life moves on. A few former acquaintances make efforts to spy/stalk, but I just ignore. It doesn’t matter to me if they miss me or not.
@@yzoooon i know about that as well. i have gone back and forth with my mother over the years, it does make it so much more difficult to deal with. you just have to choose your own mental and emotional health as much as possible and learn the signs so you can avoid conflict when possible.
ARM CHAIR PSYCHOLOGY ---She stated that even though this is "different from her normal message" it is for those who are stuck and should help motivate them to take action to heal. She suggests using "Reverse Psychology." In any type of emotional healing we all get stuck, that is normal and to be expected. Using this form of behavior is playing an emotional game and is not ever, anywhere, in any literature, stated as a legitimate, beneficial form of therapy to heal from abuse.So I'm getting a mixed message from her. This behavior is also still actively being in a power play with abuser. Just because you say it isn't doesn't mean it isn't. It is what it is. Healthier behaviors such as; working on positive self-talk to deal with "discard" (which I find personally to be a reprehensible word to use because one discards trash and I am not trash. There are thousands of diff. words she could have chosen.) Re-framing the current situation is another beneficial psychological approach, as well as, affirmations, positive self-worth projects, healthy self-care, cognitive behavioral therapy and journaling to name a few. She is def. entitled to her personal opinions, I just felt the need to address this "arm chair psychology."
Those narcs helped me remove my delusional rose colored glasses. I tend to give off codependency vibes when I am a type of person to be by your side. I just have stop doing that with the wrong ones. It's empowering to be aware.
Regina Craig I am so glad you feel this way. They aren't worth the energy to even block them... let the trash take itself out haha... from my experience if they block you, then unblock you and you then proceed to ask them why they felt the need to block you they will just lie about it and say that they didn't.... If you ever block them while still stuck in a relationship they will go on about how immature it is, saying I thought we were past this... (I only did it because I knew them too well and thought I would beat them to it after a drama fueled disagreement) THEY WILL NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for their actions and they will ALWAYS SHIFT THE BLAME ONTO YOU or something outside of themselves...
You can't push them into anything. The best one can do is leave them to themselves in hopes they will try to see things from the other person's perspective (which is a hard thing for them to do). If they block you then unblock you, I believe in a twisted way, it is their way of apologizing without having to say sorry -- and so they feel no explaination is necessary. If someone wants to be in the life of a narcissit, and keep some degree of harmony, they will have to learn to listen and respond to them in their language while keeping in mind that they are dealing with an extremely reactive and fragile ego.
I say block them. No need to let them have access. The way I see it is they want you to see they are ok. Imagine this... if he is capable of doing hurtful things while being together and you are watching, imagine the damage it will cause you when not together and not have a close look at their actions. They are capable of so much worse.
I did all those things even posting quotes on my timeline. For a moment I thought of deleting the content because the whole world doesn't need to know I'm hurting, but then again at the end of the day, I want to live an Authentic life and decided I won't delete the quotes. I will just go on and continue thriving but I won't deny that there is a part of my life that I was completely crushed and I shared it with the world. This is my journey and I embrace it. Whether the Narcissist sees i was hurting or not, that is a part of my life I will not deny. My journey will inspire someone else who is in that phase of the healing journey. My biggest Flex is I don't care whether the Narcissist goes through my wall. Whatever he sees, that's his problem. He is no longer my mess to deal with. If he comes sniffing on my timeline, I'm not responsible for what he finds and how he reacts to it. My life no longer revolves around him and I thank God for that.
Deal with that mentality daily although fortunately haven't known of her cheating but all other types of issues exactly like that that are suddenly my fault.
jamie glatz I was being virtually destroyed until I put it to an end. And then I was told I don’t deserve the privilege of her friendship. As you say, really??
I want to hurt this narcissist the way he hurt me. I don't want him to miss me, or go painting. I want him to hurt the way I hurt, The way he destroyed my self esteem
I am definitely a yo-yo and I want revenge too, but negative attention is good attention for them too. There is no winning. I'm ready to start throwing possessions overboard so my ship doesn't sink thanks to him 😠 but at the end of the day I know in my heart he will never be happy. Nothing could be more miserable than that.
@@summerscents8284 However my christian faith isn't about revenge or forgiveness. God says leave revenge to me. It's quite a indirect revenge knowing they will never succeed in any form of relationship. However it sometimes crosses my mind i keep praying for this one girl which was exposed by God Himself. He already told me to don't have own expectstions about her because it would give dissapointment. He said expect it from me. My ego can now slowly let go. I still tried it when God already spoke this. That was my ego in play.
It's absolutely the worst feeling!! I'm so mad at myself for believing that he changed... only for him to let me down again and prove me completely wrong. It made me feel awful. Yet, he never-ever sees anything wrong with his actions. It's such an emotional rollercoaster. 😢 If someone told me a year ago that I would be a victim of heartless, narcissistic behavior - I never would've believed it!!! I would have laughed at that person for suggesting such an outrageous thing bcs I've always been such strong minded individual. The narcissist breaks you down completely and makes you feel like something is wrong with you. I've blocked him on my phone/social media and it's such a painful process. And I don't even like him as a person!!! Why am I trying to prove myself or gain his acceptance I just don't understand?!
@addictive object *.* I'm very sorry to hear that you're going through all of this ): I truly am! But, pls don't ever think that your life is not worth living bcs it is sooooo worth it!!!! I really do believe that God chooses his strongest soldiers for the toughest battles. Whenever, you go through a bad situation in life, you learn so much from it and down the road you'll be able to help others that are going through the same thing and feeling lost. People that don't experience pain or financial struggles, they don't have any depth to them - and as much as it sucks to go through bad things in life...for me I've all I've ever known his loss and struggle. Never got anything handed to me or had help from others. But, I'm happy that's the case because it built my character, molded into a unique individual. I'm such a strong person, you can throw me in the jungle and I'll know how to survive! Most people are just so blind to everything and are wondering the world just clueless! And I do believe what you're saying because my brother had similar thing happen to him. But,zbog please don't let it affect your life! You have to get up each day and tell yourself that you're strong enough and you can get through anything. Never, ever let the devil win. That's what he wants. And hopefully your gf comes back to her senses. It takes is patience, love and definitely Faith... you have to have faith in God! Sending you light and blessings. P.S. Also, trust me when it comes to family and so-called friends, people always let you down. That's why I've learned never to expect anything from anyone. Zero expectations equal no disappointments. 🙏
I've been through absolutely the same. the tricky part in my love relationship is and was that my terrible abuser is very good looking plus we have a child together that's why i wasn't able to split up while i was pregnant. but now since my little one is 1.5 years i am detached from him and i realized how awful it is to raise a child with him though i must admit that our wonderful child has made him a little nicer but still very nutty and he is putting me down jokingly and i am not letting him do that in front of my child. So i will leave .. I am already organizing my escape and quick move out. I honestly want that it hurts. that it really hurts. he even revealed jokingly to me yesterday: "You will always be in my life, you are stuck with me now ( referring to the child), you will always be trapped in this house and you will not be able to leave me" isn't that insane. so he is that comfortable that he reveals his control games by isolating his partner and working on destroying their self-esteem. I wonder how long it takes until his next partner will realize how extremely manipulative he is. I hope it will hurt that we will be gone soon. i pray that i will stay strong and not talk to him. I loved him dearly but i sadly wasn't able to get out bc i was pregnant. It;s not too late and i have a child that is my one and only. It;s just sad bc i will be a single mother whatsoever. Id even say you are already a single mother in a relationship with a narcissist. You are god amn alone and always responsible got everything. You will be blamed for if his laundry isn't washed " the right way" or the parking lot being too small. I still have trouble understanding what happened and that is by the abuse. i feel confused and stressed out at times. I am sometimes not sure if he is a narcissist but i am quite sure. His mother spoiled him very much and his mother even told him not to marry me . He grew up in a household with an alcoholic father and his mother only dated men for money. His mother also has been undergone a lot of plastic surgery. She said to him that a 10 year younger woman might be better. she worked on it to get us apart bc she was jealous. Her "perfect" son is her one and only. It's been gross. in reality she was jealous and she is too old for her son. It's a crazy possessive situation by the mother as well. what i had to endure of heavy allegations by his mother about me and later verbal and psychological and emotional abuse by him is unbelievable. Its the game playing and all kinds of abuse forms until i freaked out yelling at him, throwing stuff even into his face to tell him to stop. i caught myself in a very helpless situation and the only way out seamed to smack him or do anything more drastic. In other words and i am very ashamed .i became physical towards him bc i did not knwo how to answer to the extreme gas lighting and cruelty / coldness. He claimed i had physical abused him and made a victim out of himself in a very big style and i felt guilty and i still feel guilty. the narcissist actually started filming me in case of an argument . Threatening me to actually use it against me at court and or try to take my child away from me. I could go on and on here. Absolutely low class . This was never my life. .it may help me to get over the wounds and help other men and women if i speak about it and warn others in front of these ill people. I always said to him. You are SICK! I never heard about the narcissistic personally disorder before . i wish I would have known before. i got pulled into his games step may step. He always wanted me to chase him. . and you lose yourself in unhappiness. What a downer these narcissists are . But i also had wonderful moments of warmth and care . Bc they are moody too and maybe had a good moment. ha ha . It;s not work the stress ! RUN! I went on a German you tube video about narcissist ( i am German soaking too ) and thy founded a self help group. i this thats wonderful to exchange your stories and help each other to get over the abuse. Anyone who wants t video chat ? i am available at any time.
Exaactly! U took these words out of my mouth! I am goin thru this now and not realizing that i am dealing with a narcissists, and i think to myself OMG! i am so like a fool not to realize that i could have walked away from all this! And now i have to figure out alot of things on how to leave.
Hello @MultiPunkFairy I would love to video chat with you. I am a young adult trapped in the exact situation as you describe almost to the T. The gaslighting the confusion, the stress. He is never pleased he is never happy with anything I do or most of the things I say are skewed either to create an argument, or just plain idiotic to him so he belittles me. I have reached the point of getting physical with him and he called the police on me. I feel guilty and I still as we’ll feel guilty about my actions as I know they were wrong and I should never put my hands on anyone but all of the games and the manipulation had taken a toll on me at this point. I am currently out of this relationship by force due to my actions. He has recorded many videos of me being crazy and yelling and he plans to show these to my mom. I wish I knew about this sickness before. I broke down due to the madness and he knew exactly what to do to make sure that I got there and do this to me. I’m not sure if you will receive this but please I am reaching out to you desperately as I feel broken and tormented. I have no friends and I feel extremely distant from my family due to this situation. I am just looking for some support and someone who can relate and can help understand to make sense of all of this
Zay- ellé yes queen def can relate , I knew once I had to get physical or act just completely irritate then it was time to exit because I know myself and never have ever been this way with anyone nor anything like ever so I knew it couldn’t be me just randomly being this way with the person I’m w//... like just no
I think she is a Narc. Only a Narc would want to entertain a Narc and give us this stupid advice. Our goal is to run away from the devil. This lady talking is 100% a Narc
This is great! I just ended a 20+ year relationship of ups and downs! We have children, I’m so hurt for all the wasted years! Finally realized I was never going to get anywhere but hurt! This is therapy for my soul and makes so much sense to me. Thank you 🙏
How do you deal with the children?? My narcissist daughter has my grandson that I raised for the first 6 years of his life. Should I stop contacting my grandson, gifts, cards, letters and such. I don't get any thank yous or anything back from him. But I know she's the control freak. I love my grandson so much. Should I let him go. She knows it's hurting me. I don't want to hurt him but I just can't do this anymore. It's hurting me.
You are wise Otherwise your health will deteriorate and you don't hv to suffer mentally and emotionally till old age! Me till old age as i was not financially independent unable to get a gd pay job to support my child n to rent a house etc..... It had been miserable! We women can live without the love of a man! Take care n concentrate on our children in every sense of the word. Help them to be a real man with gd qualities.......
make the narcissist miss you? sounds like something a narcissist would do. remove these people from your life, who cares if they miss you, they are a threat to your well being.
My friend blames me for everything then he took his ex out today to a concert he invited me to because I got upset with him lastnight.. this is my first time commenting on a video like this but he's with me and when I dont wanna be bothered he runs to her I'm so hurt yall I love him so much and I prayed to have him in my life before I found out that he's a narcissist when I met him he was supposed to marry that girl he left at the altar instead and became my boyfriend now he's been with her last weekend and this weekend he said yesterday to me when I don't want to be around him or have sex with him or submit to him or respect him he's going to go somewhere else but when I act right he will stick around and never leave me to go to her.. I'm in love with him we be together everyday but when I disagree with him or get upset that's what he does this is the second time he did this to me this year ..God can change people like this theres hope for them you guys I believe u know I cant change him but God can do all things St Mark Chapter 10 verse 24 God bless
This video is so different from my normal message - I know a lot of you are probably shaking your head. However....the point of this video - if you watch it all the way through - is for those that are stuck and unable to move on, this video is an eye opener. Sometimes people get stuck in a thought - how could he not care, how could i mean so little, how could it not have been real - that thought is like a ball and chain around your ankle preventing you to move forward. Do I think it's a good idea to live to make a narcissist miss you - no, of course not. But if it will motivate those stuck to begin taking action to heal....well, that's another story. For those that have no idea what I'm talking about - watch the video and you will see that this is reverse psychology for VICTIMS of narcissistic abuse =)
From Surviving To Thriving!! I ran into mine this past november. It was he that walked up on me while i was waiting on my train. Naturally, it didn't phase me one bit to see him & he walked up on me as happy as a little boy glad to find his toy! He trembled like a leaf on a branch on a windy evening. I didn't give a sht because he's nothing! All the unnecessary bs he inflicted upon me & the the girl who was already with his crazy az; lying & concealing truths, provoking serious troubles using my emails without my knowledge to harass them making it look like it was me. He ruined every electronic device by adding spyware on them. He's a real scum & I'm glad he's gone & that i pulled his mask before it was too late for me... When i saw him this last time, all i saw was nothing but human garbage. Had i continued letting him play me He was going to ruin my life inducing worsening of depression on me & he wasn't going to stop until he'd see me in jail or dead. People like that don't give a fk, plain & simple. I am very fortunate & proud of myself for letting go as fast as i did. He was someone i knew in my childhood & we were sweethearts in our younger years. To discover that this is what he is there's no word to describe how i felt but it's done & over & I'm okay. Thank you for your videos... Keep empowering others & yourself. Ps.. Most of these evil entities are into heavy porn. They will screw around with anyone & anything that will open the door & their legs for them & many of them carry venereal diseases so & one of them is syphilis so please, get yourselves tested for everything because they won't tell you squat unless you stumble into a can of their worms! Sorry for editing again; be aware that they will also impersonate. .. Open up new emails without using your real nane & do nit use any electronic devices you formerly had while you were with them. More than likely, they have set up spyware on them & any contact numbers you had they also often use those numbers to track you so be very careful because this is what he's done to me! He had me trapped until i reached out to different sources of reliable tech support like cable companies & google. Com & others. They will copy your URL something called like keylogger to stalk & harass your contacts but before they do that they put you on a smear campaign
From Surviving To Thriving!! Thanks for explaining what your reasoning was. I was shaking my head at the title and listened to hear what the video was about. You are correct that many targets forget to do things of interest to themselves, staying stuck in “victim” mode, rather than moving on. I’m not discounting the damaging nature of narcissistic behaviors, because they hurt and are very confusing, until we figure out that we don’t matter to the narcissist. Thank you for re-directing people toward self-care! Blessings!❤️
Appreciated advice! Sometimes we need to do things in a different way to jumpstart the healing. =) Unfortunately I have already done things wrong by showing "my hand" while in the relationship, during the break up and after. Expressing sadness to anger. Given that... I AM wanting that feeling of duping HIM and saving face if you will. I will follow your advice about posting a new happy life for him to see but I was wondering if there are any statements that can be made that help drive home "you have no power over me"? A quote from Labrynth that never meant anything personal to me until now.
that's so cool! I was shaking my head thinking oh no even the thumbnail looks like a red flag LMAO, but I listened to the first two seconds after you said hello, and my gut said nah she's really cool
Any emotional response empowers them. It's all about an ego stroke. The more you react, the more attention you give them, the more powerful they feel. They are apathetic. They feel no remorse. They aren't capable of love. It's a matter of interest. Nothing more.
I don't want that creature too miss me, that creature is hoovering me and won't leave me alone, I've blocked that creature on social media and changed my number, who wants to play a game with those creatures all they're going to do is turn up the anger and rage and futher try to destroy you, No Contact 4 life.
Shar Hughes : I am sure you meant and I quote:" I don't want that creature to miss me" instead of " creature too miss me" . This superlative is inappropriate here
I’m so glad to find your videos. You are so helpful and not clinical. The way you speak is like you are talking to a friend. Knowing you have experienced this, it helps me understand why I feel so empty. It’s crazy realizing he does this on purpose and I have to teach myself to be me again. It really is crazy. It’s also extremely sad bc the years I’ve wasted trying to please him, I will never get back. Thank you Michele.
My narc used to try the power play in me early on in the relationship, before I knew about narcissists, but I knew something was very wrong When she would start a fight, I would let her rage and I would simply state that I didn't agree. She would rage again, and tell me she was done with me. At that point, I would say only "OK". She would then tell me that I was too willing to just quit and I would say, OK! That usually shut her up for a few days! Be good to yourself and dump your narc today!
Contrary to a lot of the comments below, I think this is a great vid. When you're feeling discarded and irrelevant, you want a little bit of 'revenge' to get you through it. All of these techniques are healthy and empowering for the victim so it's really a win-win! Thanks for this, Michele. Great stuff.
Someone who gets it! It's a good form of manipulation that also helps you to move on and leave the situation alone. It has for sure helped me to sever the ties to follow this advice
They only miss dumping their garbage on you! Brush your shoulders off, shake the dirt off your feet and keep walking forward. Looking back will only make you salty and bitter.
I Love it! Teach it Miss!! " You're best revenge is living you're Best life" Thank you so much for all you're insight Michele. This technique absolutely works.
I wish I knew about narcissists before. I fell in love with/someone when I was 22 and he was 35. And loved him for 25 years. Was a long distance on off relationship. And I could not understand this hot cold I tried to understand him. I really loved him. Was devastated. Especially last years. And.. Then something clicked. I felt I am ok to never hear from him again. Don't hate him, don't love as before. Honestly .feel sorry for him and wish him best. I don't struggle to have no contact. I think I hardly think of him anymore. In a way look back how I was literally running behind him. Flying to Europe from US :)) and ask myself -what was so special about him and am afraid to realize -nothing as I do want to keep a kind memory of him.
Michele obviously speaks from experience. I have had so many narcissistic relationships in my life beginning with my own father. Jealous of my mother's love of life. Jealous that we, her children loved her so much. My mother was proud of my achievements and he continuously offered put downs whenever we were excited about anything. Holidays, good news, achievements. I always thought it was us but it was him and we just didn't know it. If people like Michele were around to educate us and help us see that it was them that had issues, we could have been so much happier. Thank goodness we continued to love and support each other regardless of what his opinions were. Thanks Michele.
Empath - Narcissist relationship is like the Yin-Yang relationship taken to the EXTREME. It is the IMBALANCE we had as children with our parents and now projected onto our own grown relationships. Self Analyse yourself and you will unlock the Power Within you.😶👁
Yes, when the discard comes remain calm, agree with them that it's not working and it's best you break up so you can be free to meet a partner who is better for you and you wish the same for him/her. Tell them you think it's the best thing for both of you and that you have plans for your life which don't include them and you need to go it alone etc. That takes the wind out of their sails...and never contact them again. Block them from every area of your life.
This is apart of the resolution, understanding who you're dealing with. Sometimes you have to engage to some degree because of children. But if no children involved as little/no contact as possible.
The fact that Michelle is hands down the best expert in this type of abuse just shows that our so called "psychologists" and "experts" aren't as effective as someone with inner wisdom. Michelle probably grew up as a scapegoat and has a god given talent for articulating what so many of us went through but can't put that into words. You can not learn this by getting a Ph.D in psychology. It has to come from within.
Sis I want revenge pure sweet revenge. I need to leave my narcissist broken and crushed the same way I was. You can't toy with someone and walk away unscathed
I just cut off my ex narcissist and changed my phone number to move on after over two years of his cheating constantly. It’s been hard but I’m managing 🤞🏿
You are so right everything you said it's so true. A narcissist will NEVER change. Leave them and love yourself enough that you will attract a genuine person who won't be playing games and will love you for real.
Natara Knight a friggin men to this!! I’m so glad he’s gone. He really got pissed because I said I m going to begin to forget who he is. He said good bye Jennifer and hung up. That was it. Then I blocked him everywhere
Even if they block you it's temporary just to see your reaction, most of them just delete your number so that it will make you more confused. New generation narcissist so that you will ask them about how things are 😂😂😂
I had that line many times I blocked my narcassist he blocked me then unblocked me then blocked me he is blocked and staying blocked I dont want to talk to him after the abuse and hell he put me through especially when I left him turning people against me spreading lies saying im a cheat etc bad mouthing me on social media while I'm saying nothing sending me threatening messages as well he wants a reaction he wont get one
I blocked the narcissist. His entire family and all the flying monkeys. Every last one of them. Im the one who got away.that will hold his ass and im ok now.
I did the same thing. I blocked him and any numbers of his and his friends and all his facebooks...etc. you got to, cause they will use any way in they can to hover and pull you back. Their flying monkeys is just as bad.
The irony in all of this, is that this is the best way to Observe and not React. Thank you, Michele ! This is helping me to simply observe ( no desire to get the Narc back ), and learn how to deal more healthily with a toxic person. Really good advice on staying healthy inside.
This really helped me a lot thank you 💖 I've done all of the above not realizing the person I was with was a narcissist. I feel so much for everyone who has to deal with these types of people.
Let me tell you a little about myself, I was 17 when I met my narc ex, he was 29, I ran away home at the time when I met him and he promised me the world. Long story short I got out after 4 years, lose every important people in my life and today I am happier than I've been. I'm going to start making videos about how I survived and turned this experience into a blessing for myself.
be careful here with this advice. some narcs will begin stalking you if you rip the rug out from under them, so to speak. go no contact in person and verbally but maybe go slower with the rest. their behavior can turn very psychotic when faced with that level (all) rejection- they love to cut you off , discard you, but they cant handle it . be nice and dont allow them to control you , of course, but dont play games with these people.
No, and if you actually do love them, you CAN heal them. They will do 1 of 2 things when you try to heal them. 1. They will run away as far from you as they can get as fast as they can in which case you don't have to play no contact games with them... 2. They will become attached to you on a level they haven't been attached to anyone since they were betrayed by their early caregivers. In which case, if you love them, you will have to take on the role of said caregiver in their emotional development. Truth is, they have this troubling pathology because their emotional and psychological growth got terribly stunted when they were young. Your love will be required to catch them up and it might take a bit of time, patience and perseverance but it won't take terribly long if you are effective and persistent and go about it correctly. The #1 goal you should set is to get them to be compassionate toward other lifeforms, including toward other humans. Make it comfortable, make it fun for them, make it so encouraged lovingly that they embrace their natural compassion capacity and cultivate that. Encourage compassionate practice and set a good example for them to follow. Reward them with their wants as they make progress, avoid painful punishments for mistakes, instead, encourage and "bargain" their wants for rewards to encourage compassionate practice. The goal is to get them to practice persistent compassion and empathy toward others while developing realistic perceptions of their own strengths and weaknesses. They will learn from you, they will grow, they will be inspired, become vulnerable, they will change and progress and experience neurogenesis and transformation... if you want them to be healed and you can love them selflessly, your love can heal them. A man is not going to heal from early childhood traumas without the love of a strong woman. Likewise, a woman is not going to heal from her traumas without the persistent love of a gentle man. That is perhaps the most poetic and beautiful thing about all of this; that if you indeed take on the role of healer in their life, chances are, once they are healed, they will be grateful for you, loyal to you, and deeply in love with you for the rest of their life.
@@JakeJustJake-cv3gh ...this is beautiful...When i first met him, i had dreams/visions of him as a child...his mother shaming him for something that he had done. I asked him if he gad a good relationship with his mother...he answered yes. He later also told me that he didn't have a good relationship with his dad. I always felt like i had a spiritual unconditional love for him dropped inside me since the day i met him. He told me he didn't want to be in a relationship...yet we saw each other often for 3 years but we don't now. He had said once that everything else was fine between us except for when i acted crazy...when i asked what he meant...he replied "Like when you tell me that you're praying for me and stuff" I said..."How is that crazy?" ...He said " I've never had anyone say things like that to me before" ...i did all that i knew to do...loved and treated him better than anyone i have ever been with but he always pushed me away...Now it makes sense...
@@JakeJustJake-cv3gh this is very surprising and unusual advice. Everybody just tells to run away from narcissists or that they can never be cured. I always thought about it in terms of sicknesses. If the diseases of body can be healed..why not sickness of the mind heal? Your words give me hope. Maybe I am treating the narc in my life wrongly but it is so difficult to be patient or forgiving and loving after the hurt they inflict on you. Are you speaking from.personal experience? Can you give an insight on your journey? Thanks for the great words of wisdom. There just might be hope!
Great advice. I'm about a year out from leaving a borderline and, initially, you kind of need guidance like this just to get out and stay out. I'm past hearing people talk about borderlines like they're telling a ghost story now as well, but there was a time when I needed that as a kind of slap in the face to see how damaging life with these kinds people really is. Most of us had relationships with borderlines who have really had some effed up childhoods. We don't need to excuse their behavior, but we can ultimately realize that we're the lucky ones who at least - unlike them - can rise up from our trauma to be even better, smarter people who still have the ability to genuinely love ourselves and others.
While I'm not excusing borderline behavior, it IS possible for borderlines to rise above their trauma, it just takes more work than a neurotypical would require -- doesn't mean they're not smart enough or disciplined enough.
Alexa Vaughn I am a borderline and I am aware of the damage I do to my husband. I just cant help it. I am getting theraphy (from my own initiative) and lately have a little bit more control on my rage crisis. I am very determined to cure myself and to be a normal person!
If you're a diagnosed borderline not in denial and are doing everything you can to help yourself so you can have better relationships, hats off to you. That helps you become a healthier person and lets the people around you to not take your behavior so personally. I think women are more likely to admit they may have a problem. Getting a guy to admit he needs help is generally harder because of so many stigmas around not just mental health but needing help from anyone at all because of society's gender conditioning. It's people who are walking around with undiagnosed bpd who inevitably bring destruction to people around them with no remorse. Being a part of that destructions brings you in contact with a darkness and lack of empathy that twists my stomach. Much respect to people who take ownership of the disorder and healing traumas, but the people who don't? Oof. You have to just get away from them fast, especially if your chipper personality and outlook on life triggers them.
I couldnt agree more! It is our responsibility to heal ourselves. My ex I believe had bpd from childhood trauma and ptsd from military, but he refused to get help. He took it out on me, me being empathetic and forgiving I made excuses for it. We had good times of course but he was always back and forth. I know he loved me but he was destroying his life including mine because of his problems. It is not work sticking around when someone repeatedly crosses your boundaries and refuses to get help.
Why on Earth you'd want them to miss you!!??? Even if that thought comes to one's mind, please tell yourself a big NO! You'd go back only to drain yourself again.
The title is to get the attention of people who might not be fully aware and educated about their narcissistic abuse. All the tips help someone to start to get out of the shadow of narc abuse and into a healthy mindset. Once they start doing the suggestions in the video eventually they'll get to the point that they won't care if a narc misses them or not.
Yes😊 Who cares what they think about you ❤️ It's time to love yourself now ❤️ They'll continue treating you like they normally do because it's semented into their personality pattern.
Love this information! Wow!! I foolishly thought we were still "So CONNECTED/IN TUNE" that he "sensed" my pulling back & regretted leaving our long marriage. (Laughable now. Last thing on his mind) It all seems so obvious after watching this! ANYTIME I heal (or try to) somehow he would start hoovering-- In reality it was only just a toxic cycle. He sensed NOTHING. He literally saw my calls lessen and wasn't ready to completely take me out of his Narc harem just yet. He is like a toddler throwing a tantrum because another baby wanted a discarded toy he didn't really like anyway. RUclipsrs like you have been my lifeline since I learned what true Narcissism was last year. I had no clue there was such pathos involved. This is fresh info that i haven't really heard anyone else discuss. Thank you♡
You could go a step further with that first one i think. Instead of just thanking them for the convo, say you- "its not fair of me to keep you in a relationship that your suffering in just because i want it" narc reply- "im willing to suffer for our relationship" you- "I could never be happy knowing that im making you suffer, thank you for letting me know, before we let this go on any longer" narc reply- "you just need to change and i wont suffer" you- "There are people out there that will be able to help me grow without me causing them suffering, thats who i belong with for now, maybe sometime in the future ill be a better fit for you (laugh to self)"
I wished i had listened to this before the breakup, I’ve lost almost all my friends. But then again I don’t care that much anymore, I’m keeping myself busy by studying and soon going to start working. I’m praying for everyone
Same as me. I for 10 years didn’t understand what kept going wrong. Even when I offered her money for plane ticket. She would have a fight and I was so confused. Would have love to seen this then.
Good for you girl, for giving loving support like this. They are the worst things,I thought I was aware of wrong and bad, but I was clueless until now. Thank you.
Finally did this after multiple breakups... I don't know what this "did" to him but I feel empowered and much better- thank you for all your videos. I thought I was going crazy and now know that I was not and that I am not alone !
The title just gave me the worse bout of anxiety ever. You’d never ever want to be missed or remembered by a narcissist. Love bomb - gaslighting- control - name calling- these are things that come to them effortlessly. You and I don’t want our thoughts to be on that list. They don’t miss, the seek and destroy.
Hi guys!! Just wanted to share info. about my upcoming life coaching certification course. Some people plan to become life coaches - others 'fall into it'. I think when a person has gone through something so life altering, something that pushed them outside the realms of their authentic self, something that so profoundly changed not only their self perception, but altered their nervous system, dis-regulated their brain and warped their reality..... and yet when they manage to reconnect with self, and heal the deep emotional wounds that are hidden to the naked eye and misunderstood by those that have never been through an experience like that - well, it's only natural to feel a deep desire to want to help others that have been through that. That's how I 'fell into coaching' and it's been an amazing experience to help individuals all over the world to break through the side effects of cptsd and/or side effects of narcissistic abuse. If YOU are interested in becoming a life coach - be sure to check out my website: micheleleenieves.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-coaching-certification/
I need help my wife is a narcissist and is slowly killing me
You are an awesome life coach!👍🏻
mario boyd - fine some support groups.. I hope you have. It does help keep you sane. Hoping one day I will be strong enough again to help others🦋
@@deehyatt5173 it's like walking through a minefield I never know with her movies going to be like. He changed it always just to bother me . she takes advantage of my kindness and she knows I won't leave because of the children.
@@marioboyd557 hello do you still need help??
Narcissists don’t have the ability to miss anyone. You’ve already been replaced and they have been planning to replace you before you actually left.
Ouch..so savage but so true
@@lizzi7128 unfortunately, it is 💯
Too true
Things weren't going great, my Dad happened to pass. 2 days later I'm fixing her car using the flashlight. First time I ever looked at her messages - she had been talking to someone else since literally the day my Dad died. She moved herself in to my place at that point.....
Fortunately she was able to go right back to her parents basement.
I still didn't leave the relationship at that point.
Not mine she's on dating sites galore trying to find someone like me but can't!
Oh well! 😏
You NEVER want a narcissist to miss you. Missing you means they'll have and find reasons to come back. Coming back means more torment and abuse.
Also they stay from where they left off.
Right... the goal, if is to not have an investment in their missing you or anything, for that matter. Narcissists do not have the capacity for missing you as an entity separate from them "self". I put that in parenthesis re having a self to begin with. if you miss the good times you had with that person, however inauthentic as it may have been; well alright that makes you more human. But don't ever think that there was anything so unique about it that it cannot happen for you (good times) with an authentic and caring individual. Read the book "On Caring" by Milton Mayeroff. I think we need to get back to basics about what it is to care about someone and be cared about. This along with what the characteristics of a healthy and unhealthy relationship is essential reading for all.
Yesssss
Very true 👍
Only if WE let them.
I don't want them to miss me I want them to leave me alone.
Susanne C then your dealing with a true narcissist people that label on everything a true narcissistic relationship can end up being a deadly one, malignant self love, look at that.
Then why are you watching this?
laughnowcrylater watching to see what idiot would want the attention of a real narc and now that we've watched ...get it..probably not
Same.
Exactly, Susanne C! I read the title and thought, "Why would you want them to miss you? Why would you want to play their little game?"
"No contact" is all you need to know!! Don't give them any more of your energy!
When battling monsters; take care to not become one yourself.
Samantha Norton U ain’t never 🤥
What am afraid I'm doing!
Very nicely put! I see plenty of narcissistic people on this video thinking they are immune...
I'm here seeking truth. Gotta lot of armchair psychologists out here with no self-awareness.
@its me lol. I think she might be a narcissist. Just a tad...
Agreed I became that during the relationship.. I was weak minded enough to not see beyond the fake vail
They dont miss you they miss the supply. Its about control.
Marquella Scott. I agree with u 💯
Marquella Scott this is shocking.
I don't belong in this world.
exxxxxactly
Marquella Scott word uP !
You’ve reached a new type of healing when you know longer care if they miss your or not ! ❤️
Absolutely!! ! Lol. Thank God!
@@NightLC you are the narcissist ... you just dont know it
Absolutely!!
I was traumatized but I'm okay now what a experience with a narcissist... I did everything for her and she never appreciate it.... She didn't care
Right all the way
Coming from a therapist: Do not communicate with the narc. Make it simple. No contact. None. Forget everything else.
Agreed. If you are wishing for "revenge" or for them to "miss you" then you are the problem.
What do you do when you're still married with a child and are on a 5 week vacation.
Don’t try to make them miss you.. if you do then they still have a hold over you..
Every day you don’t hear from them is a blessing .
so true. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Truth
Amen 🙏🏽
Michele is the narcissist. That's why she wrote the title this way. It gave her little secret out. She is the narcissist.
I didn't block them (or anyone) on social media. Instead, I removed social media from my life.
even better
I did the exact same thing! It really set me free and helped the recovery process
Smart ass. 😂
Yes me too
Good for you 😎
Five years post break up now. To anyone going through this--- they aren't worth another thought. Don't bother trying to make them miss you because they don't have the capacity to experience NORMAL human emotion. Separate yourself from the awful experience, expel them from your lives, go NO CONTACT, and focus on yourselves. Focus on getting your own lives collected, be strong and carry on through the grief. Please believe me--- you WILL heal, and you will be MUCH, MUCH stronger for enduring this! None of us ever could have anticipated the crazy-making they injected into our lives, but we can learn from it, and once we get through it, we can help others find their way through it as well. It is horrifically painful, terribly confusing, but those feelings and thoughts will pass in time! By all means, keep reading and keep learning. You will survive the narcopath experience-- you WILL survive this!! Wishing you all the best!!
Ty for your help, I'm so lost confused hurting N everything else. I'm in a tornado 🌪. 💔😥
@@ladyllf48 Same here. Please hang in there, and don’t go back. Just yesterday I broke off an engagement (and changed states) with a vulnerable narcissistic woman. At first, she was everything I could have ever wanted, emotionally, spiritually, sexually, politically, mentally, physically, and philosophically. In the end spent 1.5 years living with her and her twin sister while I’ve been trying to finish up the last year of my PhD. I’m still finishing it btw. She, her twin sister, her mom, and her grandma are all covert/vulnerable narcissists (with self-righteous/communal/malignant traits). I’m finding myself going crazy. Right now I feel like I’m walking back into my own mind and realizing how disorganized and chaotic it has become. I feel like I don’t where I am anymore cognitively. The days had felt like I’m constantly walking into a room and forgetting why I’m there. It’s been exhausting, stimulating, aggravating, lonely, and strange. Still, each day feels more right than the last, even though I’m jarred by the cycles of self-doubt and then reassurance. You aren’t alone.
Thank you ❤
Thank you, Kate❤ I received this....going through my personal healing now, after I let this go over a month ago. Doing my best to focus on my own life, and my own journey beyond the darkness. Sometimes I get so upset with myself for not walking away YEARS ago.......Ive dealt with this for 7 tumultuous years! I've never been involved in a toxic; narcissistic relationship of this kind, but at least I'm moving forward NOW.
God bless you🙏🏼🦋💜✨🌞
@@ladyllf48me too😢😢😢❤❤❤
They dont miss people. They miss what people do for them and things they get from people
Trying to make the narcissits miss you is just continuing to play the game. There is ONLY one way out...NO CONTACT FOREVER!
Gemini Love that's not always possible with the court system and kids.
Sky Blue Girl, stop making excuses! When you get hurt bad enough you will leave....or eventually, he will wear you out and then leave you! Either way, you WILL get hurt. So go ahead and keep stay involved...your the one that's hurting. I had kids with my Ex....we went thru courts too! However, when I was DONE it was OVER! Yeah, I still had to do a couple child support court visits but I did it without having to deal with him. Just go to court! Same thing with the kids...he can see/get his kids without seeing/dealing with you. No EXCUSES!
Gemini Love yep I'm 4 days in the no contact zone and its peacefull.
Gemini Love how do you go no contact when you work in close approximate and they might bump to you all the time and you can not leave your work go no contact?????? Any advise?????
Yvonne Stephenson I’m 19 days in
Forget the narcissist and take care of yourself. Focus on YOU!!! Why give your energy away? I pray for anyone stuck .... Love yourself more.
Ms NLasVegas plz pray for me
Thank you well said. I gave my energy to draining mindsets Everytime I was focussed on my life, goals living peacefully a demon would pop up coming back and I made the stupid mistake to go along even when I never missed them!!!!!!!!!!!! Have to rebuild myself all over again now. I can't smile I drained and I feel no life flow. It will take a while before I feel myself again because this time I've been polluted and hurt real bad.. The last incident was me confronting a fake friend my eyes opened I saw his agenda, trying to abuse me frequently. Blocked him called him a narcissist etc but I'm feeling so tired now.
I'm very angry they crossed my boundaries have to heal myself now and burn it away all of the bad atmospheres they put me in because I was ok before these wolves approached me. Watching u tube helps and makes me more aware of signals. I'm sure I'll meet another one. Btw I didn't meet them online but through daily unexpected situations. Twice.
Both violated me badly mentally and physically in my own house I trusted the wrong ones. Can't indo it just hoping this torturing feeling will leave me which I'm sensing since the last one. Hard to explain but as if somebody is constantly taking my energy. The thought of it makes me angry and agressive, not towards a person but within me. Which feels exhausting and stressing. Frustration in my body even though I closed the door blocked. Takes time I guess.
Jaqueline Wildner
If only.
They will just move onto the next victim and will hate you.
They dont miss you they miss the thought of you being around and doing everything for them all so they can turn around and make you out to be the bad guy as well as the one that did everything terrible they did to you... Blameshifting at its finest! They do it so well they then lure in their next victim and make themselves out to be the victim of their last relationship to get the new victim feeling sorry for them and within 8 months to a year or so when they know they have their new victim eating out of the palm of their hands they start the same things they did to you. Damaging person after person after person like it's their life goal... it's sickening
Kacie Lee true!!!!!!
Exactly
👏🏽👏🏽 yep
Ah facts
Big facts ‼️‼️
It’s not about making the narcissist miss you it’s about accepting what has happened and letting go. Constantly thinking about the narcissist will subconsciously turn you into a narcissist cause you’ll imagine the narcissist grovelling for your attention so you can reject them. Life is a never ending lesson but we should do what we can to overcome our insecurities and focus on what’s important. In doing so we appreciate the ones who actually care about us and we look at life more positively.
She did stress the point that the narcissist losing their control over you is what they miss the most. The reverse psychology aspect of it, which is what low level contact or no contact can accomplish.
"Constantly thinking about narrisccist"
What this does is turn you into a unattended 'victim'.
I'm learning as I detox after discovering woman I loved was covert malnigant narriccist. Oh! She recently won malprarice lawsuit making her a multi-millionaire. I'm so glad I chose peace of mind > evil person, I have no ideal who they are anymore.
The best revenge is a life well lived. The key is recover, be happy, do well, be a success...and just keep going never looking back. And laugh when you look in the mirror and know you won.
exactly
I have some gripe with advice like this though because what if after the relationship you're still not doing well? "Success" and good fortune are oftentimes circumstantial and I don't think it's super healthy to believe that once you leave the narcissist everything is going to be sunshine and roses. It takes a lot of work and time to heal from abuse.
This!
Not sure that's revenge. That's just life.
Delete...Block...No Calls...No texts...No playing with these demons...CUT OFF...GET ON FOOL
La Cross Can you post your comment again, I love it! 😃
La Cross Ms. Cross my ex (narc), calls me from different numbers, literally have their mom spying on me, found out they listen by my door. It's been hell. I'm getting a T.R.O. if you know what that is.
DEMONS 4 SURE!!
Otie Jason say that shit to the right one ..... I'd guarantee you'd get yo ass beat.
AMEN!!!!!
Five tips about what to do:
1. Exercise emotional discipline. Let him have the last word while breaking up with you.
2. No contact. Block. Unfriend. Unfollow. Delete his phone number.
3. Don't post about the break up. Do NOT show any pain/emotion.
4. Don't talk to common friends about the relationship break up.
5. Get active. Show your happiness.
I hope I understood it correctly. Thank you.
This is one of the few posts that aren't narcissistic. Of course this video is narcissistic so the comment section is basically a honey trap for narcissism.
yes. this is easy
except I live with this pi person but im blocking his number see what happens
Iniubong Essien Nkanga does that really work??
My narcicis ex gf block me In Facebook because I'm happy without her hahaha
1) exercise emotional discipline
2) No contact: block, unfriend, unfollow, delete.
3) do not post anything about the breakup... No sayings nothing!
4) Dont discuss the break up with anyone the narcissist can contact!
5) Get active and go out and post about yourself 🤣🤣🤣 lol guysss after three years i got the notification saw my comment had a good laugh hahaha ..... Post about yourself gurliess... Amd let me tell you i am happy and freee from the NA💯
dont post about them. then post about them..?
@@50shadesofcerakote she meant post about your self
Proof read your comment before posting… geeesh!
The 5th one seems contrary to the other 4🤔
"When a narcissist discards you, there whole purpose in doing so is to get narsasistic supply from your pain"
That hit home.
My Ex Narc discarded me and left me a tormenting info that everyone knew I did him wrong. Like he knows I am affected on what people think so he left me to feel the pain, anxiety and trauma. It’s been 4 months and I’m still suffering and he is getting narcissistic supply from my agony.
yes. they feed off of pain . watch their face when they see you suffer , they will have a smirk and act so joyfull
@@yeshuamysaviour3156 damn that's so true...
Oof. that one hit.
EVIL, how can someone be so evil?😑
Blames you for their ugly true character
They like to use disinformation game's
They talk about you to folks they very messy and two-faced.
Energy conversion, it's biomagnetics, seeing the true self and other separately and as one. It's nothing about narcissism, it's about 'spirituallity' or rather the biomagnetic nature of humans. I try not to blame others for how I react, but I do when others explode because I state something they don't want to hear.
no doubt..!!
I got blame for everything. It was never her fault.
No contact. Don't worry about whether they miss you or not. Get out. No contact. Don't look back. Look forward and live your sacred life. There is only one you on this planet. Don't squander your uniqueness on a narcissist.
My ex girlfriend is an extremely toxic narcissist. I was love bombed, devalued, and discarded...and of course it was AAALLLLLLLL my fault....lol
Exactly. Same here.
Same here
Same here bro
Same
I got one of those since 2005 lol
If you forgive them for what they did to you, the pain goes away and the healing begins.
Be the bigger person. They don't even need to know you forgave them.
If they did know you forgave them they wouldn’t care because they’re never sorry
Amen
Prob with Narcs is they sabotage their own happiness..
They are HARDWIRED to Destroy Every Relationship that They get into.
It's a defense mechanism, it requires an extra helping of compassion and understanding, can be very frustrating to deal with but if understood objectively and tolerated on that level while keeping the goal of healing and emotional growth at top priority, you can still reach them despite their efforts to sabotage... t
When they try to sabotage, they dont actually want to succeed. And, if given a clear choice, they will usually speak from their hearts in word or deed. For instance, if she is pushing to sabotage things going smoothly between you two, it is because she is afraid that she is in the calm before the storm so to speak. She might be unaware that her pushing is actually causing the storms to happen. With an objective view, you will become able to predict when her behaviors will change and become sabotagy... threats a real good time to set boundaries and bring her attention to the pathology. Tell her, "I understand that you have a lot of anxiety and that you are afraid of being hurt, that's why you are doing/saying.... but I need you to know that I can deal with... but i cannot deal with... if you really want to hurt our relationship, if that's what you really want, keep doing/saying.... however, if you really want to preserve what we have do/dont do.... then make her choice even more clear by stating what your chosen response will be based on whatever behaviors. Make it clear that you are creating boundaries for yourself and that if she did the same she would be happier as well. And sometimes, you can simply ask. Do your really mean.... or are you just saying that to lash out defensively?
What is happening is extreme emotional immaturity, this stems from having emotional growth stunted at a very young age through traumas that she didnt deserve to have happen to her. Being kind and compassionate while taking an objective approach to perceiving the pathology can make a huge difference in her life and if you are patient and persevering, you wi help her grow emotionally into a much better, calmer, more confident and at peace version of her wonderful self. Let's face it, you would not love her if she were not wonderful when her wounds are not showing. Love her while her wounds are also showing and you can help to heal them.
@@JakeJustJake-cv3gh Wish I did..She discarded me now after 5 years...She's ruined something that was really good..Wish I'd made her feel more secure..She isolated her family too etc.. Mask has slipped..Big mess
Soooo true. I befriended a person who I saw as marginalized by others for the most part and was kind and generous but just knew they were 'odd' and bitter and yep when I fell very ill this person whom I had reached out to in friendship and if they had remained decent they would have had a great friend in me, but their intent is to destroy people and when I became ill, the abuses started and the bizarre phone calls etc...and the narc trying to make me believe something was wrong with me instead of them...so they lost me in their life and any good that would have come of the friendship...so yep sabotaged themselves...too bad! No contact from here on out.
@@JakeJustJake-cv3gh i dont think it works that way. Have u had success with what u said with ur narcisist?
The narcissist feeds of of our emotions, love or hate they don’t care. The one thing they cannot stand and which drives them crazy is your indifference to them. Be indifferent, adopt the Japanese idea of the “cold-face”. Show nothing, give nothing...they soon get bored and go away.
My father told me “The opposite of love isn’t hate...it is indifference”
This is soo true! People think the opposite of love is hate, but it is not. Someone from a support group advised me to act as if you are indifferent to the breakup, to treat it as neither good nor bad.. Until you finally really feel neutral towards it. Maybe that helps
Truth!!!!
Take took takers
Take took took 3 represent triangulation represent cheating cheating represent they took took men I am rapper now nice
I've been with my narcissistic boyfriend for six years. The reason why we could survive this long is my indifference to him. If he tries to act smart, I get facts to act smarter. If he seeks attention, I don't give it to him. If he did something bad, I ignore him till he apologises. I make my own rules and he makes his
I just move on and it helps with getting over them. I have no attraction or feelings for any of these men in my past. I actually find them all repulsive. Most of them have contacted me a few months after discard, but I have no desire to talk to them anymore. The best feeling ever!!!! Winning!!!!!
Ghosting them drives them crazy, as simple as that☺️ be brave & good luck everyone!
thats what i did. GHOST
Me Too!! Haven't heard from him in two weeks. I'm not chasing him. I hope he's miserable!!!
Narcissists have bad mothers...l came across one recently
Debasmita Mishra Ms. Mishra, you might be right, mines do. Hmm.
I agree must be a complex disorder as well.
SeeNoEvilHearNoEvil that's why you are not one.....that's very good but honestly when you don't get the care and love from parents it affects children in various ways,some children grow even stronger and some become mentally ill and some even become mentally unstable with some other emotional setbacks....l agree but mostly childhood traumas create them
Its no
Nutr
yes, they really do. It's part of what creates it.
i was my ex narcissist little yoyo! after i walked after being dumped, she dangled carrots and i kept reaching for them only to be toyed with.. so i deleted her from all social sites.. i wished and prayed shed text me or run into her so i could reject her and get my power back... well , after 5 months of NC, i ran into her at the grocery store. as i was walking to my car she was reverse parking. when she got out of the car and saw me, she smiled sooooooo big! like as if seeing jhonny depp.. i just waved and kept walking, when i looked again, she gave me a pouting face,, so i waved goodbye and go in my car and road off into the i got my power back sunset!!! woohoo!!! i dont care what anyone says. after being stripped of your power, toyed with and used for years, rejecting them makes you feel sooooooooooooo good!!! and it is good for your mental health!
now she knows face to face eye to eye, i walked right out of her life with my power in my hands.... Thank you Jesus!
Jin Tran that’s what I’m talking about!!! They ALWAYS come back just gotta be patient. Good for you 💕
Yup so far two out of my three have come back but nope bye bye don't want you. I know my ex husband will come back too
Just be careful Jim....she will be scheming for as long as it takes to do the same. Keep out of dark Alleys, maybe move state and let Nature keep her busy and away from you! Remember they have flying monkeys in the spirit world working in tandem!
Jin Tran good for you! I feel the same way and now I wouldn’t piss on her if she was on fire!
THAT'S AWESOME!
Im not even gonna watch this but as someone who needs legal intervention to escape a narc if you were discarded COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS AND LET IT GO
This is manipulative game playing. If you have identified a toxic abuser, don't give them another second of your time.
And if their your Mother whom your obligated to live with?
I agree, I wrote a post in response to this but took it down. I dont understand this whole mentality about WANTING them to miss you. Are you breaking it off, or are you sitting in the sidelines waiting for them to make contact???How will you know they miss you, if you have no contact with them?? and if they are a true narcissist, can they even really have those emotions??? Just say goodbye and go on!!!
exactly
Agree. I hesitate to diagnose people, but I’ve definitely been involved with people who have unhealthy narcissism if not NPD. I’ve gone no contact whenever practical, limited contact when necessary, and honestly... I don’t know or care if these individuals miss me or not. I assume not, I’m not really good supply. I am empathic enough to feel compassion for them but I’m also pragmatic. If the main purpose I serve in someone’s life is to be abused so they can feel good, that’s not my cup of ☕️. Wish them well, miss the good times, life moves on. A few former acquaintances make efforts to spy/stalk, but I just ignore. It doesn’t matter to me if they miss me or not.
@@yzoooon i know about that as well. i have gone back and forth with my mother over the years, it does make it so much more difficult to deal with. you just have to choose your own mental and emotional health as much as possible and learn the signs so you can avoid conflict when possible.
It's not worth your time or energy to make them miss you.
Stacey Heath Did you watch the video?
Stacey Heath true but some people need this. It starts the discipline needed to move forward
ARM CHAIR PSYCHOLOGY ---She stated that even though this is "different from her normal message" it is for those who are stuck and should help motivate them to take action to heal. She suggests using "Reverse Psychology." In any type of emotional healing we all get stuck, that is normal and to be expected. Using this form of behavior is playing an emotional game and is not ever, anywhere, in any literature, stated as a legitimate, beneficial form of therapy to heal from abuse.So I'm getting a mixed message from her. This behavior is also still actively being in a power play with abuser. Just because you say it isn't doesn't mean it isn't. It is what it is. Healthier behaviors such as; working on positive self-talk to deal with "discard" (which I find personally to be a reprehensible word to use because one discards trash and I am not trash. There are thousands of diff. words she could have chosen.) Re-framing the current situation is another beneficial psychological approach, as well as, affirmations, positive self-worth projects, healthy self-care, cognitive behavioral therapy and journaling to name a few. She is def. entitled to her personal opinions, I just felt the need to address this "arm chair psychology."
SmallTownMom I know that's right, Ms. S.T.Mom 😃
nope, let them destroy themselves, BUT DO... tell others about what you experienced with them, I HIGHLY SUGGEST documenting them and their bs.
Those narcs helped me remove my delusional rose colored glasses. I tend to give off codependency vibes when I am a type of person to be by your side. I just have stop doing that with the wrong ones. It's empowering to be aware.
No need to block them on social media. Just don't reach out to them. Blocking them just lets them know you are fighting hard to resist them.
Regina Craig I am so glad you feel this way. They aren't worth the energy to even block them... let the trash take itself out haha... from my experience if they block you, then unblock you and you then proceed to ask them why they felt the need to block you they will just lie about it and say that they didn't.... If you ever block them while still stuck in a relationship they will go on about how immature it is, saying I thought we were past this... (I only did it because I knew them too well and thought I would beat them to it after a drama fueled disagreement) THEY WILL NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for their actions and they will ALWAYS SHIFT THE BLAME ONTO YOU or something outside of themselves...
You can't push them into anything. The best one can do is leave them to themselves in hopes they will try to see things from the other person's perspective (which is a hard thing for them to do). If they block you then unblock you, I believe in a twisted way, it is their way of apologizing without having to say sorry -- and so they feel no explaination is necessary. If someone wants to be in the life of a narcissit, and keep some degree of harmony, they will have to learn to listen and respond to them in their language while keeping in mind that they are dealing with an extremely reactive and fragile ego.
Regina Craig no mam u must block them not to give them access.
It is better to block them so they cannot get any information. They do not deserve to know anything. Cut them off completely like they never existed.
I say block them. No need to let them have access. The way I see it is they want you to see they are ok. Imagine this... if he is capable of doing hurtful things while being together and you are watching, imagine the damage it will cause you when not together and not have a close look at their actions. They are capable of so much worse.
Amen to no contact, best to ask God for strength and move on.
So true. I did this and I am happy.
Praise Jesus hallelujah!
❤
yes, pray. everything happens through God.
Kids never wrong
She misses me because I treated her like a queen & she will never experience that again.
David martin
Amen.... I'm going through that right now!
Probably not in their eyes
Yes she will.. She will simply find another man to control.. Its easy for them.
David martin someone will appreciate that side of you
David martin same here
I did all those things even posting quotes on my timeline. For a moment I thought of deleting the content because the whole world doesn't need to know I'm hurting, but then again at the end of the day, I want to live an Authentic life and decided I won't delete the quotes. I will just go on and continue thriving but I won't deny that there is a part of my life that I was completely crushed and I shared it with the world.
This is my journey and I embrace it. Whether the Narcissist sees i was hurting or not, that is a part of my life I will not deny. My journey will inspire someone else who is in that phase of the healing journey. My biggest Flex is I don't care whether the Narcissist goes through my wall. Whatever he sees, that's his problem. He is no longer my mess to deal with. If he comes sniffing on my timeline, I'm not responsible for what he finds and how he reacts to it. My life no longer revolves around him and I thank God for that.
She cheated on me yet she gave me a second chance.. "really"
Deal with that mentality daily although fortunately haven't known of her cheating but all other types of issues exactly like that that are suddenly my fault.
jamie glatz
I was being virtually destroyed until I put it to an end. And then I was told I don’t deserve the privilege of her friendship.
As you say, really??
Same 🤦🏼♀️
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I dont know but my gut is telling me she did i feel your pain. I was cordial to get her back in then i f***** her then ghosted her.
I want to hurt this narcissist the way he hurt me. I don't want him to miss me, or go painting. I want him to hurt the way I hurt, The way he destroyed my self esteem
Sorry to here that
That's how this works because narcissists need to feel empowered. So, stripping them of their power, makes them useless.
You do that by simply leaving and never going back. You inflict a wound that can never heal :)
Me too
I am definitely a yo-yo and I want revenge too, but negative attention is good attention for them too. There is no winning. I'm ready to start throwing possessions overboard so my ship doesn't sink thanks to him 😠 but at the end of the day I know in my heart he will never be happy. Nothing could be more miserable than that.
Wasted energy! Build a life for yourself build your faith in God. You are strong enough to move on!
Amen
Somewhere down the line, you just want to make it even with them and make them feel what they've done to you.
@@summerscents8284
However my christian faith isn't about revenge or forgiveness. God says leave revenge to me. It's quite a indirect revenge knowing they will never succeed in any form of relationship. However it sometimes crosses my mind i keep praying for this one girl which was exposed by God Himself. He already told me to don't have own expectstions about her because it would give dissapointment. He said expect it from me. My ego can now slowly let go. I still tried it when God already spoke this. That was my ego in play.
You can become emotionally and physically ill from being unloved and abused...why make them miss you ?
Okgirl64,You are beautiful,hope you are not with a narc 😈!
Okgirl64,You got a lovely smile
It's absolutely the worst feeling!! I'm so mad at myself for believing that he changed... only for him to let me down again and prove me completely wrong. It made me feel awful. Yet, he never-ever sees anything wrong with his actions. It's such an emotional rollercoaster. 😢 If someone told me a year ago that I would be a victim of heartless, narcissistic behavior - I never would've believed it!!! I would have laughed at that person for suggesting such an outrageous thing bcs I've always been such strong minded individual. The narcissist breaks you down completely and makes you feel like something is wrong with you. I've blocked him on my phone/social media and it's such a painful process. And I don't even like him as a person!!! Why am I trying to prove myself or gain his acceptance I just don't understand?!
@addictive object *.* I'm very sorry to hear that you're going through all of this ): I truly am! But, pls don't ever think that your life is not worth living bcs it is sooooo worth it!!!! I really do believe that God chooses his strongest soldiers for the toughest battles. Whenever, you go through a bad situation in life, you learn so much from it and down the road you'll be able to help others that are going through the same thing and feeling lost. People that don't experience pain or financial struggles, they don't have any depth to them - and as much as it sucks to go through bad things in life...for me I've all I've ever known his loss and struggle. Never got anything handed to me or had help from others. But, I'm happy that's the case because it built my character, molded into a unique individual. I'm such a strong person, you can throw me in the jungle and I'll know how to survive! Most people are just so blind to everything and are wondering the world just clueless! And I do believe what you're saying because my brother had similar thing happen to him. But,zbog please don't let it affect your life! You have to get up each day and tell yourself that you're strong enough and you can get through anything. Never, ever let the devil win. That's what he wants. And hopefully your gf comes back to her senses. It takes is patience, love and definitely Faith... you have to have faith in God! Sending you light and blessings. P.S. Also, trust me when it comes to family and so-called friends, people always let you down. That's why I've learned never to expect anything from anyone. Zero expectations equal no disappointments. 🙏
I've been through absolutely the same. the tricky part in my love relationship is and was that my terrible abuser is very good looking plus we have a child together that's why i wasn't able to split up while i was pregnant. but now since my little one is 1.5 years i am detached from him and i realized how awful it is to raise a child with him though i must admit that our wonderful child has made him a little nicer but still very nutty and he is putting me down jokingly and i am not letting him do that in front of my child. So i will leave .. I am already organizing my escape and quick move out. I honestly want that it hurts. that it really hurts. he even revealed jokingly to me yesterday: "You will always be in my life, you are stuck with me now ( referring to the child), you will always be trapped in this house and you will not be able to leave me" isn't that insane. so he is that comfortable that he reveals his control games by isolating his partner and working on destroying their self-esteem. I wonder how long it takes until his next partner will realize how extremely manipulative he is. I hope it will hurt that we will be gone soon. i pray that i will stay strong and not talk to him. I loved him dearly but i sadly wasn't able to get out bc i was pregnant. It;s not too late and i have a child that is my one and only. It;s just sad bc i will be a single mother whatsoever. Id even say you are already a single mother in a relationship with a narcissist. You are god amn alone and always responsible got everything. You will be blamed for if his laundry isn't washed " the right way" or the parking lot being too small. I still have trouble understanding what happened and that is by the abuse. i feel confused and stressed out at times. I am sometimes not sure if he is a narcissist but i am quite sure. His mother spoiled him very much and his mother even told him not to marry me . He grew up in a household with an alcoholic father and his mother only dated men for money. His mother also has been undergone a lot of plastic surgery. She said to him that a 10 year younger woman might be better. she worked on it to get us apart bc she was jealous. Her "perfect" son is her one and only. It's been gross. in reality she was jealous and she is too old for her son. It's a crazy possessive situation by the mother as well. what i had to endure of heavy allegations by his mother about me and later verbal and psychological and emotional abuse by him is unbelievable. Its the game playing and all kinds of abuse forms until i freaked out yelling at him, throwing stuff even into his face to tell him to stop. i caught myself in a very helpless situation and the only way out seamed to smack him or do anything more drastic. In other words and i am very ashamed .i became physical towards him bc i did not knwo how to answer to the extreme gas lighting and cruelty / coldness. He claimed i had physical abused him and made a victim out of himself in a very big style and i felt guilty and i still feel guilty. the narcissist actually started filming me in case of an argument . Threatening me to actually use it against me at court and or try to take my child away from me. I could go on and on here. Absolutely low class . This was never my life. .it may help me to get over the wounds and help other men and women if i speak about it and warn others in front of these ill people. I always said to him. You are SICK! I never heard about the narcissistic personally disorder before . i wish I would have known before. i got pulled into his games step may step. He always wanted me to chase him. . and you lose yourself in unhappiness. What a downer these narcissists are . But i also had wonderful moments of warmth and care . Bc they are moody too and maybe had a good moment. ha ha . It;s not work the stress ! RUN! I went on a German you tube video about narcissist ( i am German soaking too ) and thy founded a self help group. i this thats wonderful to exchange your stories and help each other to get over the abuse. Anyone who wants t video chat ? i am available at any time.
Exaactly! U took these words out of my mouth! I am goin thru this now and not realizing that i am dealing with a narcissists, and i think to myself OMG! i am so like a fool not to realize that i could have walked away from all this! And now i have to figure out alot of things on how to leave.
Hello @MultiPunkFairy I would love to video chat with you. I am a young adult trapped in the exact situation as you describe almost to the T. The gaslighting the confusion, the stress. He is never pleased he is never happy with anything I do or most of the things I say are skewed either to create an argument, or just plain idiotic to him so he belittles me. I have reached the point of getting physical with him and he called the police on me. I feel guilty and I still as we’ll feel guilty about my actions as I know they were wrong and I should never put my hands on anyone but all of the games and the manipulation had taken a toll on me at this point. I am currently out of this relationship by force due to my actions. He has recorded many videos of me being crazy and yelling and he plans to show these to my mom. I wish I knew about this sickness before. I broke down due to the madness and he knew exactly what to do to make sure that I got there and do this to me. I’m not sure if you will receive this but please I am reaching out to you desperately as I feel broken and tormented. I have no friends and I feel extremely distant from my family due to this situation. I am just looking for some support and someone who can relate and can help understand to make sense of all of this
Zay- ellé yes queen def can relate , I knew once I had to get physical or act just completely irritate then it was time to exit because I know myself and never have ever been this way with anyone nor anything like ever so I knew it couldn’t be me just randomly being this way with the person I’m w//... like just no
Ghost the narrccissit and dont look back.....?
Oh I get it! You mean kill them into a ghost. Interesting concept. Lol
Exactly why TF do you want them to miss you?.....this isnt healthy....is she a narcissist?
@@ovantegiaz7646 LoL maybe so
I think she is a Narc. Only a Narc would want to entertain a Narc and give us this stupid advice. Our goal is to run away from the devil. This lady talking is 100% a Narc
Ovante Giaz I
This is good. I really don't feel like it's about making them miss you. It's seems more about being able to walk away with ur head Heald up high.
Enough is enough. I played good and sweet and walked out like heartless person. I feel so powerful. And no contact.
This is great! I just ended a 20+ year relationship of ups and downs! We have children, I’m so hurt for all the wasted years! Finally realized I was never going to get anywhere but hurt! This is therapy for my soul and makes so much sense to me. Thank you 🙏
Same 🥲
How do you deal with the children?? My narcissist daughter has my grandson that I raised for the first 6 years of his life. Should I stop contacting my grandson, gifts, cards, letters and such. I don't get any thank yous or anything back from him. But I know she's the control freak. I love my grandson so much. Should I let him go. She knows it's hurting me. I don't want to hurt him but I just can't do this anymore. It's hurting me.
You are wise Otherwise your health will deteriorate and you don't hv to suffer mentally and emotionally till old age! Me till old age as i was not financially independent unable to get a gd pay job to support my child n to rent a house etc..... It had been miserable! We women can live without the love of a man! Take care n concentrate on our children in every sense of the word. Help them to be a real man with gd qualities.......
Thank you for saying...That's where I am....I feel my life has been wasted.
28 yrs here. Wasted my time. It hurts bad. Believing he would change😢
make the narcissist miss you? sounds like something a narcissist would do.
remove these people from your life, who cares if they miss you, they are a threat to your well being.
This lady talking is a Narc. The only thing you should do is No Contact.
It's funny. I was thinking the same thing when I read the title!
"That's exactly what a narcissist would do!" I thought to myself.
Uncle Reggie listen her whole video and you’ll understand her point and is helping the narc victims to move on.
MONEY/SUCCESS 10Million listen the whole video and you’ll know. Don’t assume.
My friend blames me for everything then he took his ex out today to a concert he invited me to because I got upset with him lastnight.. this is my first time commenting on a video like this but he's with me and when I dont wanna be bothered he runs to her I'm so hurt yall I love him so much and I prayed to have him in my life before I found out that he's a narcissist when I met him he was supposed to marry that girl he left at the altar instead and became my boyfriend now he's been with her last weekend and this weekend he said yesterday to me when I don't want to be around him or have sex with him or submit to him or respect him he's going to go somewhere else but when I act right he will stick around and never leave me to go to her.. I'm in love with him we be together everyday but when I disagree with him or get upset that's what he does this is the second time he did this to me this year ..God can change people like this theres hope for them you guys I believe u know I cant change him but God can do all things St Mark Chapter 10 verse 24 God bless
This video is so different from my normal message - I know a lot of you are probably shaking your head. However....the point of this video - if you watch it all the way through - is for those that are stuck and unable to move on, this video is an eye opener. Sometimes people get stuck in a thought - how could he not care, how could i mean so little, how could it not have been real - that thought is like a ball and chain around your ankle preventing you to move forward. Do I think it's a good idea to live to make a narcissist miss you - no, of course not. But if it will motivate those stuck to begin taking action to heal....well, that's another story. For those that have no idea what I'm talking about - watch the video and you will see that this is reverse psychology for VICTIMS of narcissistic abuse =)
From Surviving To Thriving!! I ran into mine this past november. It was he that walked up on me while i was waiting on my train. Naturally, it didn't phase me one bit to see him & he walked up on me as happy as a little boy glad to find his toy! He trembled like a leaf on a branch on a windy evening. I didn't give a sht because he's nothing! All the unnecessary bs he inflicted upon me & the the girl who was already with his crazy az; lying & concealing truths, provoking serious troubles using my emails without my knowledge to harass them making it look like it was me. He ruined every electronic device by adding spyware on them. He's a real scum & I'm glad he's gone & that i pulled his mask before it was too late for me... When i saw him this last time, all i saw was nothing but human garbage. Had i continued letting him play me He was going to ruin my life inducing worsening of depression on me & he wasn't going to stop until he'd see me in jail or dead. People like that don't give a fk, plain & simple. I am very fortunate & proud of myself for letting go as fast as i did. He was someone i knew in my childhood & we were sweethearts in our younger years. To discover that this is what he is there's no word to describe how i felt but it's done & over & I'm okay.
Thank you for your videos... Keep empowering others & yourself.
Ps.. Most of these evil entities are into heavy porn. They will screw around with anyone & anything that will open the door & their legs for them & many of them carry venereal diseases so & one of them is syphilis so please, get yourselves tested for everything because they won't tell you squat unless you stumble into a can of their worms! Sorry for editing again; be aware that they will also impersonate. .. Open up new emails without using your real nane & do nit use any electronic devices you formerly had while you were with them. More than likely, they have set up spyware on them & any contact numbers you had they also often use those numbers to track you so be very careful because this is what he's done to me! He had me trapped until i reached out to different sources of reliable tech support like cable companies & google. Com & others. They will copy your URL something called like keylogger to stalk & harass your contacts but before they do that they put you on a smear campaign
I appreciate all your video's, thank you.
From Surviving To Thriving!!
Thanks for explaining what your reasoning was. I was shaking my head at the title and listened to hear what the video was about.
You are correct that many targets forget to do things of interest to themselves, staying stuck in “victim” mode, rather than moving on. I’m not discounting the damaging nature of narcissistic behaviors, because they hurt and are very confusing, until we figure out that we don’t matter to the narcissist.
Thank you for re-directing people toward self-care!
Blessings!❤️
Appreciated advice! Sometimes we need to do things in a different way to jumpstart the healing. =) Unfortunately I have already done things wrong by showing "my hand" while in the relationship, during the break up and after. Expressing sadness to anger. Given that... I AM wanting that feeling of duping HIM and saving face if you will. I will follow your advice about posting a new happy life for him to see but I was wondering if there are any statements that can be made that help drive home "you have no power over me"? A quote from Labrynth that never meant anything personal to me until now.
that's so cool! I was shaking my head thinking oh no even the thumbnail looks like a red flag LMAO, but I listened to the first two seconds after you said hello, and my gut said nah she's really cool
Any emotional response empowers them. It's all about an ego stroke. The more you react, the more attention you give them, the more powerful they feel. They are apathetic. They feel no remorse. They aren't capable of love. It's a matter of interest. Nothing more.
I don't want that creature too miss me, that creature is hoovering me and won't leave me alone, I've blocked that creature on social media and changed my number, who wants to play a game with those creatures all they're going to do is turn up the anger and rage and futher try to destroy you, No Contact 4 life.
i changed my nber and felt for their trick ...
Shar Hughes : I am sure you meant and I quote:" I don't want that creature to miss me" instead of " creature too miss me" . This superlative is inappropriate here
Me too!!
I agree
@@arlenetaylor6644 n
One of the happiest days of my life was when my ex started dating someone else. I don't want her to miss me.
That poor bastard married her.
Now she's catching hell, they don't change unless they give their life to Christ.
Better no contact. That's what I've done. Else they'll feed upon all your energy.
Not to mention back on the path of trying to destroy you.
Mosis Sun if you have kids with them?
Watch the video until the end before you make comments.
I’m so glad to find your videos. You are so helpful and not clinical. The way you speak is like you are talking to a friend. Knowing you have experienced this, it helps me understand why I feel so empty.
It’s crazy realizing he does this on purpose and I have to teach myself to be me again.
It really is crazy. It’s also extremely sad bc the years I’ve wasted trying to please him, I will never get back.
Thank you Michele.
This is soooo true! It is a toxic pattern that keeps us hooked based on our trauma bonds. It's all about what we can do for them.
My narc used to try the power play in me early on in the relationship, before I knew about narcissists, but I knew something was very wrong
When she would start a fight, I would let her rage and I would simply state that I didn't agree. She would rage again, and tell me she was done with me.
At that point, I would say only "OK".
She would then tell me that I was too willing to just quit and I would say, OK!
That usually shut her up for a few days!
Be good to yourself and dump your narc today!
Contrary to a lot of the comments below, I think this is a great vid. When you're feeling discarded and irrelevant, you want a little bit of 'revenge' to get you through it. All of these techniques are healthy and empowering for the victim so it's really a win-win! Thanks for this, Michele. Great stuff.
Someone who gets it! It's a good form of manipulation that also helps you to move on and leave the situation alone. It has for sure helped me to sever the ties to follow this advice
Live well .. that’s how you make them. Miss you without ever contacting them again or engaging… it’s really that simple.
They only miss dumping their garbage on you! Brush your shoulders off, shake the dirt off your feet and keep walking forward. Looking back will only make you salty and bitter.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
"Cutting off the psychological gangrene ..." Love it. 🌷
I thought that aswell. Lol
that was classic 💯
two weeks free. thank you thank you thank you
Hey for what it's worth.
The song by Phil Collins ( I don't care anymore) I've found to be very empowering.
Stay strong guy's
brave woman escaped 2 years no contact, luckily my kids are old enough I just txt them directly. No need to have anything to do with him.
Katy Perry ROAR perfect song for me played LOUDLY AND REPEATEDLY X
I Love it! Teach it Miss!! " You're best revenge is living you're Best life" Thank you so much for all you're insight Michele. This technique absolutely works.
I wish I knew about narcissists before. I fell in love with/someone when I was 22 and he was 35. And loved him for 25 years. Was a long distance on off relationship. And I could not understand this hot cold I tried to understand him. I really loved him. Was devastated. Especially last years. And.. Then something clicked. I felt I am ok to never hear from him again. Don't hate him, don't love as before. Honestly .feel sorry for him and wish him best. I don't struggle to have no contact. I think I hardly think of him anymore. In a way look back how I was literally running behind him. Flying to Europe from US :)) and ask myself -what was so special about him and am afraid to realize -nothing as I do want to keep a kind memory of him.
Michele obviously speaks from experience. I have had so many narcissistic relationships in my life beginning with my own father.
Jealous of my mother's love of life. Jealous that we, her children loved her so much. My mother was proud of my achievements and he continuously offered put downs whenever we were excited about anything. Holidays, good news, achievements. I always thought it was us but it was him and we just didn't know it. If people like Michele were around to educate us and help us see that it was them that had issues, we could have been so much happier. Thank goodness we continued to love and support each other regardless of what his opinions were. Thanks Michele.
Empath - Narcissist relationship is like the Yin-Yang relationship taken to the EXTREME. It is the IMBALANCE we had as children with our parents and now projected onto our own grown relationships. Self Analyse yourself and you will unlock the Power Within you.😶👁
B N ✌🏼👁so f true
im thinking Im iman Empath. Really
Yes.
Iniubong Essien Nkanga can you really do this ?
What if. I can't. Go out is there any inline activities that you can recommend Michelle?
Yes, when the discard comes remain calm, agree with them that it's not working and it's best you break up so you can be free to meet a partner who is better for you and you wish the same for him/her. Tell them you think it's the best thing for both of you and that you have plans for your life which don't include them and you need to go it alone etc. That takes the wind out of their sails...and never contact them again. Block them from every area of your life.
If you use this methods it means you still loves narcissistis,So strictly implement no contact and stay away from this persons
k mahes yup
...but is not so easy to break everything if u love him
This is apart of the resolution, understanding who you're dealing with. Sometimes you have to engage to some degree because of children. But if no children involved as little/no contact as possible.
After watching for the 1st 5 mins I screamed inside my head (I love you!!!) you are on point with everything.
Adose of Tequila of course it's psychology
Ha! I love your name, you're funny!!
I'm not even in a relationship with this person but they got me feeling as if I can't live without them stringing me alone than love bombing me
Same!!!
Cut that person off. They will kill you emotionally then kill you physically. They are demon possess.
The fact that Michelle is hands down the best expert in this type of abuse just shows that our so called "psychologists" and "experts" aren't as effective as someone with inner wisdom. Michelle probably grew up as a scapegoat and has a god given talent for articulating what so many of us went through but can't put that into words. You can not learn this by getting a Ph.D in psychology. It has to come from within.
Sis I want revenge pure sweet revenge. I need to leave my narcissist broken and crushed the same way I was. You can't toy with someone and walk away unscathed
Dont worry everyone gets their own share of karma,If they don't make sure they do.
Be careful. Getting revenge will cause narcissistic rage, and could even cost you your life. These are not stable people we’re talking about. 😢
Angel me too! I got a few choice digs in but not enough. I want that pos to be physically broken down like me. I’ve lost 20 lbs.
Starscream91 You misunderstood what i said.I told give them their karma if they don't get what they deserve that means take revenge.
The realist comment on here.
I wish I had watched this video yesterday. My narc “ended” our relationship and now I let myself get sucked back into proving my worth.
I just cut off my ex narcissist and changed my phone number to move on after over two years of his cheating constantly. It’s been hard but I’m managing 🤞🏿
Longleggedlady 88 awesome
I feel what a huge task it is to go contact. How foreign it feels to 100% sever all contact w/ your after living in a world where
I so wish I had your strength, he is playing me like a fiddle and I have no strength to fight it 😭 xxxxxxx so much respect for you xxxxxxxxx
You are so right everything you said it's so true. A narcissist will NEVER change. Leave them and love yourself enough that you will attract a genuine person who won't be playing games and will love you for real.
Thank you for this perspective, it really is reverse psychology...lol
Who I really miss is ME.
Natara Knight I’m becoming me again yay!!! How are you doing now a month later?
Natara Knight yes!
@@iniubongnkanga9390 you don't need to put this on every post....a bit narcissistic? lol
Natara Knight a friggin men to this!! I’m so glad he’s gone. He really got pissed because I said I m going to begin to forget who he is. He said good bye Jennifer and hung up. That was it. Then I blocked him everywhere
Narc: I don't feel like blocking you, but I will (if you don't play by my rules)
Me: block me, please
#winning
drivethrupoet lol i’m currently blocked
he blocked me then unblocked me ..thinking I will add him and beg him no way..im good and im out 😊
Even if they block you it's temporary just to see your reaction, most of them just delete your number so that it will make you more confused. New generation narcissist so that you will ask them about how things are 😂😂😂
Mine blocked me when he found out I blocked him 🤷🏻♀️even his mother blocked me
I had that line many times I blocked my narcassist he blocked me then unblocked me then blocked me he is blocked and staying blocked I dont want to talk to him after the abuse and hell he put me through especially when I left him turning people against me spreading lies saying im a cheat etc bad mouthing me on social media while I'm saying nothing sending me threatening messages as well he wants a reaction he wont get one
You made this video for me didn't you? Yes, I listened to the end. If no one else was helped, I was . Thank you
Why would anyone want to make them miss anything?! Seriously, I do not want to be missed by a narcissist.
I blocked the narcissist. His entire family and all the flying monkeys. Every last one of them. Im the one who got away.that will hold his ass and im ok now.
narcfree keekee I did the same exact thing. And I too got away and not looking back.
Brave Soul thats what i like to hear 😄
Me 4 I got away no looking back,well a little since we have a daughter together
I also did that. My little twist to the situation is that both of us are trustees to my parents trust for the past 12 years.
I did the same thing. I blocked him and any numbers of his and his friends and all his facebooks...etc. you got to, cause they will use any way in they can to hover and pull you back. Their flying monkeys is just as bad.
The irony in all of this, is that this is the best way to Observe and not React. Thank you, Michele ! This is helping me to simply observe ( no desire to get the Narc back ), and learn how to deal more healthily with a toxic person. Really good advice on staying healthy inside.
This really helped me a lot thank you 💖 I've done all of the above not realizing the person I was with was a narcissist. I feel so much for everyone who has to deal with these types of people.
Let me tell you a little about myself, I was 17 when I met my narc ex, he was 29, I ran away home at the time when I met him and he promised me the world. Long story short I got out after 4 years, lose every important people in my life and today I am happier than I've been. I'm going to start making videos about how I survived and turned this experience into a blessing for myself.
17... that is straight up pedophilia
no its sick if you get pleasure from someone elses pain
Pat P it's even worse to want someone like that to miss you.
be careful here with this advice. some narcs will begin stalking you if you rip the rug out from under them, so to speak. go no contact in person and verbally but maybe go slower with the rest. their behavior can turn very psychotic when faced with that level (all) rejection- they love to cut you off , discard you, but they cant handle it . be nice and dont allow them to control you , of course, but dont play games with these people.
That's why you gotta cross state lines after no contact. I don't even want that thing contacting anything I contact lol
No, and if you actually do love them, you CAN heal them. They will do 1 of 2 things when you try to heal them. 1. They will run away as far from you as they can get as fast as they can in which case you don't have to play no contact games with them... 2. They will become attached to you on a level they haven't been attached to anyone since they were betrayed by their early caregivers. In which case, if you love them, you will have to take on the role of said caregiver in their emotional development. Truth is, they have this troubling pathology because their emotional and psychological growth got terribly stunted when they were young. Your love will be required to catch them up and it might take a bit of time, patience and perseverance but it won't take terribly long if you are effective and persistent and go about it correctly.
The #1 goal you should set is to get them to be compassionate toward other lifeforms, including toward other humans. Make it comfortable, make it fun for them, make it so encouraged lovingly that they embrace their natural compassion capacity and cultivate that. Encourage compassionate practice and set a good example for them to follow. Reward them with their wants as they make progress, avoid painful punishments for mistakes, instead, encourage and "bargain" their wants for rewards to encourage compassionate practice. The goal is to get them to practice persistent compassion and empathy toward others while developing realistic perceptions of their own strengths and weaknesses. They will learn from you, they will grow, they will be inspired, become vulnerable, they will change and progress and experience neurogenesis and transformation... if you want them to be healed and you can love them selflessly, your love can heal them. A man is not going to heal from early childhood traumas without the love of a strong woman. Likewise, a woman is not going to heal from her traumas without the persistent love of a gentle man.
That is perhaps the most poetic and beautiful thing about all of this; that if you indeed take on the role of healer in their life, chances are, once they are healed, they will be grateful for you, loyal to you, and deeply in love with you for the rest of their life.
@@JakeJustJake-cv3gh ...this is beautiful...When i first met him, i had dreams/visions of him as a child...his mother shaming him for something that he had done. I asked him if he gad a good relationship with his mother...he answered yes. He later also told me that he didn't have a good relationship with his dad. I always felt like i had a spiritual unconditional love for him dropped inside me since the day i met him. He told me he didn't want to be in a relationship...yet we saw each other often for 3 years but we don't now. He had said once that everything else was fine between us except for when i acted crazy...when i asked what he meant...he replied "Like when you tell me that you're praying for me and stuff" I said..."How is that crazy?" ...He said
" I've never had anyone say things like that to me before" ...i did all that i knew to do...loved and treated him better than anyone i have ever been with but he always pushed me away...Now it makes sense...
Jake Just Jake no u can’t heal a narcissist & every real therapist will even tell u that! There’s no cure for a narcissist!
@@JakeJustJake-cv3gh this is very surprising and unusual advice. Everybody just tells to run away from narcissists or that they can never be cured. I always thought about it in terms of sicknesses. If the diseases of body can be healed..why not sickness of the mind heal? Your words give me hope. Maybe I am treating the narc in my life wrongly but it is so difficult to be patient or forgiving and loving after the hurt they inflict on you. Are you speaking from.personal experience? Can you give an insight on your journey? Thanks for the great words of wisdom. There just might be hope!
Great advice. I'm about a year out from leaving a borderline and, initially, you kind of need guidance like this just to get out and stay out. I'm past hearing people talk about borderlines like they're telling a ghost story now as well, but there was a time when I needed that as a kind of slap in the face to see how damaging life with these kinds people really is. Most of us had relationships with borderlines who have really had some effed up childhoods. We don't need to excuse their behavior, but we can ultimately realize that we're the lucky ones who at least - unlike them - can rise up from our trauma to be even better, smarter people who still have the ability to genuinely love ourselves and others.
While I'm not excusing borderline behavior, it IS possible for borderlines to rise above their trauma, it just takes more work than a neurotypical would require -- doesn't mean they're not smart enough or disciplined enough.
Alexa Vaughn I am a borderline and I am aware of the damage I do to my husband. I just cant help it. I am getting theraphy (from my own initiative) and lately have a little bit more control on my rage crisis.
I am very determined to cure myself and to be a normal person!
If you're a diagnosed borderline not in denial and are doing everything you can to help yourself so you can have better relationships, hats off to you. That helps you become a healthier person and lets the people around you to not take your behavior so personally. I think women are more likely to admit they may have a problem. Getting a guy to admit he needs help is generally harder because of so many stigmas around not just mental health but needing help from anyone at all because of society's gender conditioning. It's people who are walking around with undiagnosed bpd who inevitably bring destruction to people around them with no remorse. Being a part of that destructions brings you in contact with a darkness and lack of empathy that twists my stomach. Much respect to people who take ownership of the disorder and healing traumas, but the people who don't? Oof. You have to just get away from them fast, especially if your chipper personality and outlook on life triggers them.
I couldnt agree more! It is our responsibility to heal ourselves. My ex I believe had bpd from childhood trauma and ptsd from military, but he refused to get help. He took it out on me, me being empathetic and forgiving I made excuses for it. We had good times of course but he was always back and forth. I know he loved me but he was destroying his life including mine because of his problems. It is not work sticking around when someone repeatedly crosses your boundaries and refuses to get help.
Count yourself as blessed. Forge ahead and remember what you have learned. GOD bless you. You deserve love unconditional.
Why on Earth you'd want them to miss you!!???
Even if that thought comes to one's mind, please tell yourself a big NO!
You'd go back only to drain yourself again.
To PS Lucky. YEAH! Consider yourself VERY BLESSED, if they don`t miss you! They`re such a hassel, when they hoover!
Exactly how I felt about the subject.
Its a satisfying feeling I would say even if you dont ever talk to them for all months or years you put in for this caniving type of person
Why don't you actually watch the video before commenting.
The title is to get the attention of people who might not be fully aware and educated about their narcissistic abuse. All the tips help someone to start to get out of the shadow of narc abuse and into a healthy mindset. Once they start doing the suggestions in the video eventually they'll get to the point that they won't care if a narc misses them or not.
Exactly!
I dont want them to miss me. I want them to go away from me.
peanut butter right!!! 😃
"destroying psychological gangrene". Such a prefect description!
Yes😊 Who cares what they think about you ❤️ It's time to love yourself now ❤️ They'll continue treating you like they normally do because it's semented into their personality pattern.
Helena Conricus,You look stunning,hope you are not with a narc 😈!
Love this information! Wow!! I foolishly thought we were still "So CONNECTED/IN TUNE" that he "sensed" my pulling back & regretted leaving our long marriage. (Laughable now.
Last thing on his mind) It all seems so obvious after watching this! ANYTIME I heal (or try to) somehow he would start hoovering-- In reality it was only just a toxic cycle. He sensed NOTHING. He literally saw my calls lessen and wasn't ready to completely take me out of his Narc harem just yet.
He is like a toddler throwing a tantrum because another baby wanted a discarded toy he didn't really like anyway. RUclipsrs like you have been my lifeline since I learned what true Narcissism was last year. I had no clue there was such pathos involved. This is fresh info that i haven't really heard anyone else discuss. Thank you♡
You could go a step further with that first one i think. Instead of just thanking them for the convo, say
you- "its not fair of me to keep you in a relationship that your suffering in just because i want it"
narc reply- "im willing to suffer for our relationship"
you- "I could never be happy knowing that im making you suffer, thank you for letting me know, before we let this go on any longer"
narc reply- "you just need to change and i wont suffer"
you- "There are people out there that will be able to help me grow without me causing them suffering, thats who i belong with for now, maybe sometime in the future ill be a better fit for you (laugh to self)"
That's the way I have always handled them.
This works
This reply was amazing
I wished i had listened to this before the breakup, I’ve lost almost all my friends. But then again I don’t care that much anymore, I’m keeping myself busy by studying and soon going to start working. I’m praying for everyone
Same as me. I for 10 years didn’t understand what kept going wrong. Even when I offered her money for plane ticket. She would have a fight and I was so confused. Would have love to seen this then.
Good for you girl, for giving loving support like this. They are the worst things,I thought I was aware of wrong and bad, but I was clueless until now. Thank you.
Finally did this after multiple breakups... I don't know what this "did" to him but I feel empowered and much better- thank you for all your videos. I thought I was going crazy and now know that I was not and that I am not alone !
Tonja Hartjies,You look stunning,hope you are not with a narc 😈!
Y would you want them to miss you? Run!!
The title just gave me the worse bout of anxiety ever. You’d never ever want to be missed or remembered by a narcissist. Love bomb - gaslighting- control - name calling- these are things that come to them effortlessly. You and I don’t want our thoughts to be on that list. They don’t miss, the seek and destroy.