If you want them to finish you off, stay. If you want to live, leave. At least that is what my situation was. His abuse made me feel so worthless that I manifested acute myeloid leukemia. I almost died 3 times, I wasn't going to stay for him to finish me off. I've been disabled for 15 years and almost died 3 times. After 13 years of his abuse and getting deathly ill, I ended up disabled. It took me 13 years to get well enough to leave. I had nobody, NOBODY to help me or anyone that I could turn to. And to top it all off, neither of my 2 girls believe me and he is not even their biological father. The worst 26 years of my life!!!! I have healed SO MUCH since leaving him in March 2023.
My son believes that my ex narcissist husband is a good guy. It scares the hell out of me because I know he will be next to be exploited if he doesn't see the truth somehow. I pray for him every single day to untangle himself from this evil man
He's not his real father but he thinks he has a right to act like the dad my son didn't have even though his own two sons that are adults don't go near him or speak to him
@@dianawelles1726 See if you can find a way to educate him about narcissists without directing it at your ex narcissistic husband. Then maybe he will see for himself and learn for himself. I wish you luck. My oldest is in her early 40s and doesn't believe me and the youngest, well, she doesn't realize what her husband is and she doesn't believe me either. I guess they just think that I just wanted so baldy to live in an RV while disabled and having nobody to help me is my life's dream. That I left a house, 3 acres, workshop, greenhouse and privacy to live in an RV park. Why would I have left if I was treated so well? I hope your son wakes up.
If you can't leave, and you have financial barriers, I believe there's a big difference between thinking you can't leave and starting by actually "mentally" leaving, thinking you are in the process of leaving, no matter how long it takes, if ever. During my period of preparation, I had reached out, slowly and silently, to all the free resources I had available to me, and I just kept learning about my options. This started my healing process, too, because it put the focus on myself and put me into my problem-solving executive brain and built inner strength with safe allies. I don't know how many others would have my good fortune, but I finally saw an opportunity to leave that I believe I wouldn't have recognized if I hadn't been thinking along those lines, preparing for future possibilities. I know our journeys are all unique, but I hope that my sharing this might help someone.
Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.
Time will heal the broken heart and learning as much as you can about this personality type. Read: "The Passive Aggressive Covert Narcissist" Then you will see and know the Truth of all things Narcissistic..
My ex husband literally isolated me for 10years. It is true what you said being isolated in plain sight. In the last four years I was able to build close relationships, it helped build by confident and become more of my authentic self. When I look back, I was such a hollow person from the constant abuse. And yes one small example is, we would go through the Macca's drive through and he made me feel like I couldn't even order something without being criticized or yelled out. In return I would get embarrassed, anxious and nervous before I even began to order anything with him in the car. It was so cruel. Mine was a malignant narcissist, violent, violent with his mouth and cruel, serial cheater in our small hometown. I thank God for finally being able to seperate and live a life free from abuse. I am naturally a people loving person. Mine criticised any friends, or would make me think people didn't like me. He also had no shame and abused me in front of certain people in public and I would get so embarrassed and ashamed and not sand up for myself because no one else did. It was so very cruel, I feel grief for me when I look back now.
I would have stood up for you in public ~ I don't fear them like I did when I was young. And if I have too, I will take anabolic drugs and growth hormone and get so big that just my presence in the room will put fear into them.
I’m just happy for you that you’re not in that space anymore! You are free and now you KNOW now how to arm yourself against anyone like that in the future.🫂♥️
@@iamaleo247 Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I am just happy to feel I can live and really live for the first time. I'm so happy to just learn to be me and enjoy, learn and grow. I'm a busy mumma at this stage in my life, but I look forward to the future if someone worthy of my heart and vice versa comes along.
I am married to a covert narcissist for 44yrs. He has brainwashed my adult children against me. He has isolated me from them all. Finally divorcing him ❤❤
The biggest red flag is the confusion you feel. He completely hid our relationship initially though everyone knew (we worked together and the girlfriend I now recognize he discarded while targeting and grooming me had heinous fights in the office that repeated with me, and this pattern repeated when he discarded me and had the new supply lined up) and I was so young and naïve and gullible that I didn't leave when he wouldn't introduce me to family and friends or made them believe that our relationship with strictly work related even though everyone could see that was not true. So many red flags I chose or was manipulated? to ignore, so many instincts stuffed down over the years, esp after becoming a mother, so much time devoted to an impossible situation because he never went into this for the same normal reasons and expectations I did. And now because of the reactions I had too frequently, I am seen as the problem, all part of the narcissist's plan. I was definitely surrounded by his flying monkeys who I thought were also my friends but couldn't be farther from the truth. My therapist all those years ago missed all of the textbook characteristics I shared but since educating myself through sources like yours, my lived experience finally made sense and I am healing. Thank you Michele
Wow, this, is exactly what this narcissistic woman did to me over the last 10 weeks. After she ruined my relationship and concocted stories behind my back she bought me presents praising my character! She successfully manipulated and turned eveyone against me. How do they get away! Why don't people see. They ruin one's self-esteem, confidence, life and opportunities...and at the end they get all the praise and admiration. The way the get away with damaging people financially, socially, mentally etc It's really, really dangerous...their posionous personas and they leave people in severely depressed states...unbelievable
In the mens group at our condominium, there is a narcissist who is constantly looking for supplies among the other members of the group. Your RUclips video helps explain what narcissistic abuse looks like. One member of the group has already left. I could leave the group, but that would mean giving up a number of significant social connections. Listening to your video a second time, I recognized how the N goes after one and then another in the group. One of his many techniques is to isolate the target in plain sight. Any time he fails, his anger is recognizable. To confidently and calmly confront the narcissist will take a group effort. One of our allies will be his wife of 60+ years. I don't know how she can stand to live with that day after day.
Starting from scratch ,, a learned self-sufficient person should never need to be evaluated because each person may have their own way of doing things in life that bring them satisfactory results ! Thank you CoachM for letting me give you my own personal insights ! Blessings !
So grateful for your clear advice and your depth of knowledge on covert narcissism. Thanks for helping me find my way out of hell. I’m not all the way out yet, but I’m making strides towards the goal. ❤
Wow... this is a great video and breaks down exactly what a person goes through. It took me 4-5 videos about narcissistic abuse in order to kind of understand what I was going through.... 1st step I took was rebuilding your support system with older friends you trust 100%, in order to bounce your ideas and thoughts off of... This way you don't feel crazy. 2nd Start working out to rebuild yourself. 3rd start paying attention to the actions of people not their words. 4th. start changing slowly and slowly start setting boundaries so not to shock the narcissist right away. As soon as you set a boundary, they will blow through it like your words don't matter.. be patient! it takes time. 5th. don't let them know you know who they are, they will get very upset with you. 6th if you leave that person, they will play victim and blame you for everything and make u seem crazy. You are not! this is why your support system is very crucial!!!!!! your supply system Keeps you focused in the storm. Do things that made the old you happy.... I've been working on myself for 2 years. i am fine when I'm not around my ex. Everyone I was friends with before I met my ex said they always thought something was off with her and never liked her or her family.
Thanks a lot. I think the essence of the problem is this addiction to how the narcissist sees you. If you gave them the control to define you, you're in trouble. I guess they are always in search for emotionally broken people who they can define through an unspoken mutual mirroring pact.
My X-spouse was so Covert & Passive Aggressive, that when he came over to the basement stairs as I shared a thought with him . . . I supposed that he was just being unusually attentive. In reality he waited for me to turn around and head downstairs to sweep his foot under mine and send me several feet upward. I landed on my forearm and tore my shoulder in three places. My daughter had given me a flight ticket for Christmas so I could go visit her in Colorado for a few days . . . I never dreamed it was him till he started acting out aggressively during the discard phase a few years later. What a journey it has been!
I could say to my narcissistic mother that my sisters car looked really nice the other day. And she will twist it around so that my sister hears ~ " Your brother is so jealous of your car " That's how sick these people are.
oh I recognised it. I just didn't know how to stop it. Every time I spoke, she reacted like I'd said something obvious, or inappropriate, or insensitive. And after a while her narrative kind of stuck on me and I withered in her presence and so I stopped trying to chat to other people. So it ended up being everybody that excluded me.
I was married to a narcissist for over 15 years, after the breakup it took me over 10 years to realize it. It wasn't until I learned about narcissism that I understood. All the pieces fell into place and there were not a few. I was traumatized and still struggle with the after effects. What I want to say is important, whether you are aware that you are in a narcissistic relationship or not. You must never let go of your good qualities, the ones that you have always seen as good qualities. You must not let go of what you stand for when someone accuses you of something that you cannot understand. People with different characteristics will never understand each other, not even if they agree on something, even if they use the same words. The words will have different meanings and you will discover that when the words are put into practice.
Covert narcissists are seen as wonderful in their circles and people will never believe what they’ve done and don’t understand smear campaigns weren’t true. Is there any way to salvage the truth in these situations?
Terrible time in my life. I literally thank GOD that I am out of it and on the other side. I used to watch your videos so much when I was still in it over a year ago and realised I was being psychologically, mentally and emotionally abused by a covert narcissist. Then I had to heal childhood and relational trauma wounds and then set boundaries with family etc. whew what a long way I came thanks to God.
Yes I feel like I’ve lost myself. He has triangulated me with his own friends too so literally everyone in “our” (his) circle thinks I’m insane and abusive. He’s told people things I told him in co guidance about a guy HE said he didn’t like. He’s acted like I stopped him from going out! I never did I just used to panic and get upset because he would silent treatment, start a fight, break up and then go on weekend long benders! Then started using that as punishment.
They will teach your children to not trust you and to reject you. Even the closest of relationships. Hide your kids from narcs and teach your children about it
Thank you 🙏 Michelle. YOU, your channel, your content, your character, have collectively been little glimmering sparkles of light in a vast landscape of the dark abyss for me personally the past 3 years. I appreciate you and all that you contribute to the subject matter on Cluster B Circus Clowns. Gratitude 🙏 Merry Christmas to you and all the beautiful souls who have endured what they have with these beings. Stay alert! Stay alive!
You really do feel physically like a puppet on strings. Another physical feeling is of being stuck behind a glass wall, where you can see others but they cannot hear you. They cannot understand you in speech or action.
I haven’t dated in seven years after being married to and dating 4 different narcissists. Now I see the red flags 🚩 n the first five minutes and don’t feel inspired.
She’s isolated me from my family and friends over years. I am a completely different man compared to 20 years ago. I’ve gone from not knowing what was going on to now feeling very angry.
Wow great video and its such a damaging disorder bc it's so complicated well u can't learn enough about this and to each his own but I feel that you can learn something new every single day about it and if people are okay and they think they're healed well you know what those people can get hurt again because there's so many different characteristics to it but I just watch it all the time but it is good I mean Ed educational thank you
If you suggest meeting some of your friends they decline, there is always something a little more unimportant… or they say «I would love to if it is just you and me, that would be soooo nice «(you get a bit flattered so you don’t think of it ad abuse… Or if they do meet them, it is with no energy. No questions, no interest… and after they find small faults (who had none..?) but they say it with a smile… leke; hahaha she had an interesting style… not like your great style… (you feel flattered so you don’t think of it as abuse…) or they suggest meeting their friends… that they also talk shit about, but that feels like bonding . But it makes it strange for you to reach out to them… you end up alone❤ been there.. Thank you ❤
Michele, you said, "Whether or not you choose to leave the narcissist is completely up to you." That just simply isn't true, and I REALLY hope that content creators on this subject will stop saying things like that. I've lived with chronic health issues my whole life, which prevent me from having any financial resources to work with. Leaving simply isn't an option for me, and neither is therapy. Please be sensitive to those of us who can't afford to make choices for ourselves, and who literally have no options.
@@rvh77 That may be true, but my point is that I hear similar things all the time from people who talk and teach about narcissism, and it gets really frustrating after a while for no one to ever acknowledge the fact that some of us have no options for solutions or help.
@@janeylynn5934not everyone is able to leave, though it is the best solution. Barring that, hopefully the advice provided can help you navigate your situation and start to understand what you’re up against and start to heal. I’m sending you love and strength. This is a brutal thing to live through. 💪💜
Amen .Thank you for this great video Michelle .Your advice is so spot on .Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year. Rich and Abundant Blessings to you and yours ,this Holiday Season and always.🎉🎉🎉💞💐🌸🌷💕🌺♥️💝💖💖💖💖💖🐕🦺🧬😼😼🌹🎉🎉🎉
I’m in a relationship with a covert narcissist and we are church going people so around that type of people it gets even trickier. Because what happens is the people in our circles are social circles Support him they don’t see him in that light. It’s a constant struggle to diminish what he does and, continue being a submissive wife
Sure. A narc who is successfully controlling someone---their opinions, ideas, emotions, etc. in a relationship, will probably make that person withdraw from others, and make them withhold their ideas, opinions, emotions, etc. from their usual friends even...because they're so screwed up by the narc. People might ask what's wrong but the victim is so confused and controlled by the narc they won't/don't easily give any information.
,(4:20) Self sufficientcy is tough early in life by parents that want the best for us and sometimes in Schools that have a well being course for young students starting to reach the eye opening ages ! Yes,No ?
(2:34) Some kind and honest people trust in other they really feel emotional about but those that can read on to the trust can gently with time brain wash a kind person making them think they are truthful? Yes , No ?
Они представляются всем "поим секретарем", в итоге для всех я просто "тот у кого украсть". Если ты не существуешь, то вместо тебя, твояю судьбу существует кто то другой. Культурная аппроприяция и кража интеллект. собственности большая проблема (и оно еще вспыхнет в будущем).
It's caused by their abusive mother who is emotionally unavailable. Because at about 5 years old they experience huge amount of stress they aren't able to handle, they create a false persona as a coping mechanism and merge with it. They cease to be a human from that moment and begin looking for those who can be manipulated into worshiping their false persona. It's like having a eternal hissy fit that makes them think they are a god.
"This is because they believed and then abandoned faith. Therefore, their hearts have been sealed, so they do not comprehend." Holy Quran chapter 63 ("al-munafiqun" translation "hypocrites" [aka narcissists] )verse 2
As a self-aware diagnosed narcissist I could provide an answer that was my experience, early childhood traumas, betrayal and almost daily violence. I grew up not knowing I was a narcissist until 2 and 1/2 years ago.
My narc girlfriend has a daughter that monkey branched out of our house and got her own man . now he is trapped . i didnt realize i got monkey branched by her mother . Wake up hello . i have seen it still navigating my exit .
Can this happen with co-workers or strangers, like they are not in a relationship but manipulation is afoot, I think. They don't really know each other but they're still able to isolate and tell stories that justifies them in the situation.( and is staying quiet and not engaging a good response?)
Hi 👋 so we meet at 1:00 and 4:00 pm eastern at different days - usually Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays. I tell everyone it’s a buffet pick and choose the meetings that are most beneficial to be in person and you could always watch the recordings at your leisure. Also be aware that I will be hosting one free workshop per month starting in February.
Aloha hugs 🤗 I would have to live in my Car, I am 53 years into this relationship He has convinced my children, That No Money He PTSD from Nam OCD. Seriously, a Very happy. O am and we are getting well God put us together I am in Hawaii, I don't need all that. I have a Car Gas money Artista I am changing I ¹😅hugs everyone
Omg 😢this is exactly how it’s does it’s really a fog and you totally change into a function zombie on some levels for these people YOU ARE THE TRUTH AND YOU REALLY UNVEIL THE CORE TO THEIR MOVES 🎯💯🥹🥺🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾😭😭😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰
Same thing happened to me. She ended up stealing everything I'd worked for 16 years. Used the kids as an excuse to do it' feel sorry for me feel sorry for me' it's all his fault' I didn't do nothing. Turned my family and friends against me' took everything I'd worked for' my body shop business of 16 years' my way of making a living' left with the kids and had the court order me to pay child support and alimony. Finally got the kids back and raising them on my own' paying all the bills' the court would not drop the child support on me. I was paying her child support and keeping/supporting the kids at the same time for 6 years. Now they've turned on me blaming me for all the mental and physical abuse they went through from the mom but still bow down to her trying to justify/approval of their actions towards me. She twisted their minds to the point they have no common sense and are up in their mid/late 30's. Permanently damaged for life and raising kids of their own with that mindset and now their kids are having mental health issues from all that's happened. I'm the bad guy with no life left barely getting by.
If you want them to finish you off, stay.
If you want to live, leave.
At least that is what my situation was.
His abuse made me feel so worthless that I manifested acute myeloid leukemia.
I almost died 3 times, I wasn't going to stay for him to finish me off.
I've been disabled for 15 years and almost died 3 times.
After 13 years of his abuse and getting deathly ill,
I ended up disabled. It took me 13 years to get well enough to leave.
I had nobody, NOBODY to help me or anyone that I could turn to.
And to top it all off, neither of my 2 girls believe me and he is not even their biological father.
The worst 26 years of my life!!!!
I have healed SO MUCH since leaving him in March 2023.
Glad you're healing well and your free.❤
@@awomen1072
Thank you!! And yes, FREE!!!
FREEDOM!! 😁👍
My son believes that my ex narcissist husband is a good guy. It scares the hell out of me because I know he will be next to be exploited if he doesn't see the truth somehow. I pray for him every single day to untangle himself from this evil man
He's not his real father but he thinks he has a right to act like the dad my son didn't have even though his own two sons that are adults don't go near him or speak to him
@@dianawelles1726
See if you can find a way to educate him about narcissists without directing it at your ex narcissistic husband. Then maybe he will see for himself and learn for himself.
I wish you luck. My oldest is in her early 40s and doesn't believe me and the youngest, well, she doesn't realize what her husband is and she doesn't believe me either.
I guess they just think that I just wanted so baldy to live in an RV while disabled and having nobody to help me is my life's dream.
That I left a house, 3 acres, workshop, greenhouse and privacy to live in an RV park.
Why would I have left if I was treated so well?
I hope your son wakes up.
My last relationship was devastating, she isolated me from everything and left me alone and broken.
So sorry to hear that!
That’s what they do
Yup. That's what they do. 😢 You are never alone. ❤
If you can't leave, and you have financial barriers, I believe there's a big difference between thinking you can't leave and starting by actually "mentally" leaving, thinking you are in the process of leaving, no matter how long it takes, if ever. During my period of preparation, I had reached out, slowly and silently, to all the free resources I had available to me, and I just kept learning about my options. This started my healing process, too, because it put the focus on myself and put me into my problem-solving executive brain and built inner strength with safe allies. I don't know how many others would have my good fortune, but I finally saw an opportunity to leave that I believe I wouldn't have recognized if I hadn't been thinking along those lines, preparing for future possibilities. I know our journeys are all unique, but I hope that my sharing this might help someone.
Great video Michelle im trying to break free from this type of manipulation as we speak.
Me too Jason. We got this! 💪💜
@@marcydrake9159 you got this!
@@marcydrake9159Amen. All Praises be Unto the Most High. HalleluYaHUaH 🙌
Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.
That is the conditioning of the abuser. For me it's a bit of both people I take responsibility for my part in it.
Time will heal the broken heart and learning as much as you can about this personality type.
Read: "The Passive Aggressive Covert Narcissist" Then you will see and know the Truth of all things Narcissistic..
you have a spiritual cord with this person - praying to God to release it
Trauma bond
My ex husband literally isolated me for 10years. It is true what you said being isolated in plain sight. In the last four years I was able to build close relationships, it helped build by confident and become more of my authentic self.
When I look back, I was such a hollow person from the constant abuse. And yes one small example is, we would go through the Macca's drive through and he made me feel like I couldn't even order something without being criticized or yelled out. In return I would get embarrassed, anxious and nervous before I even began to order anything with him in the car.
It was so cruel. Mine was a malignant narcissist, violent, violent with his mouth and cruel, serial cheater in our small hometown.
I thank God for finally being able to seperate and live a life free from abuse.
I am naturally a people loving person.
Mine criticised any friends, or would make me think people didn't like me. He also had no shame and abused me in front of certain people in public and I would get so embarrassed and ashamed and not sand up for myself because no one else did. It was so very cruel, I feel grief for me when I look back now.
I would have stood up for you in public ~ I don't fear them like I did when I was young. And if I have too, I will take anabolic drugs and growth hormone and get so big that just my presence in the room will put fear into them.
Yassss gawd we truly the truth it’s soo true omg my godddd 😢😢😢
I’m just happy for you that you’re not in that space anymore! You are free and now you KNOW now how to arm yourself against anyone like that in the future.🫂♥️
@@iamaleo247 Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I am just happy to feel I can live and really live for the first time. I'm so happy to just learn to be me and enjoy, learn and grow. I'm a busy mumma at this stage in my life, but I look forward to the future if someone worthy of my heart and vice versa comes along.
this happened to me when I was a little girl until I was in my 50s. THIS video IS What IT IS!
I am married to a covert narcissist for 44yrs. He has brainwashed my adult children against me. He has isolated me from them all. Finally divorcing him ❤❤
😢my exact story. But divorce isn’t an option
The biggest red flag is the confusion you feel. He completely hid our relationship initially though everyone knew (we worked together and the girlfriend I now recognize he discarded while targeting and grooming me had heinous fights in the office that repeated with me, and this pattern repeated when he discarded me and had the new supply lined up) and I was so young and naïve and gullible that I didn't leave when he wouldn't introduce me to family and friends or made them believe that our relationship with strictly work related even though everyone could see that was not true. So many red flags I chose or was manipulated? to ignore, so many instincts stuffed down over the years, esp after becoming a mother, so much time devoted to an impossible situation because he never went into this for the same normal reasons and expectations I did. And now because of the reactions I had too frequently, I am seen as the problem, all part of the narcissist's plan. I was definitely surrounded by his flying monkeys who I thought were also my friends but couldn't be farther from the truth. My therapist all those years ago missed all of the textbook characteristics I shared but since educating myself through sources like yours, my lived experience finally made sense and I am healing. Thank you Michele
Wow, this, is exactly what this narcissistic woman did to me over the last 10 weeks. After she ruined my relationship and concocted stories behind my back she bought me presents praising my character! She successfully manipulated and turned eveyone against me. How do they get away! Why don't people see. They ruin one's self-esteem, confidence, life and opportunities...and at the end they get all the praise and admiration. The way the get away with damaging people financially, socially, mentally etc It's really, really dangerous...their posionous personas and they leave people in severely depressed states...unbelievable
yes..... my first thoughts were .... "Who DOES this "?
In the mens group at our condominium, there is a narcissist who is constantly looking for supplies among the other members of the group. Your RUclips video helps explain what narcissistic abuse looks like. One member of the group has already left. I could leave the group, but that would mean giving up a number of significant social connections. Listening to your video a second time, I recognized how the N goes after one and then another in the group. One of his many techniques is to isolate the target in plain sight. Any time he fails, his anger is recognizable. To confidently and calmly confront the narcissist will take a group effort. One of our allies will be his wife of 60+ years. I don't know how she can stand to live with that day after day.
Starting from scratch ,, a learned self-sufficient person should never need to be evaluated because each person may have their own way of doing things in life that bring them satisfactory results ! Thank you CoachM for letting me give you my own personal insights ! Blessings !
So grateful for your clear advice and your depth of knowledge on covert narcissism. Thanks for helping me find my way out of hell. I’m not all the way out yet, but I’m making strides towards the goal. ❤
So glad it's helping you find your way out - hang in there!!!
Wow... this is a great video and breaks down exactly what a person goes through.
It took me 4-5 videos about narcissistic abuse in order to kind of understand what I was going through....
1st step I took was rebuilding your support system with older friends you trust 100%, in order to bounce your ideas and thoughts off of...
This way you don't feel crazy.
2nd Start working out to rebuild yourself.
3rd start paying attention to the actions of people not their words.
4th. start changing slowly and slowly start setting boundaries so not to shock the narcissist right away. As soon as you set a boundary, they will blow through it like your words don't matter.. be patient! it takes time.
5th. don't let them know you know who they are, they will get very upset with you.
6th if you leave that person, they will play victim and blame you for everything and make u seem crazy.
You are not! this is why your support system is very crucial!!!!!!
your supply system Keeps you focused in the storm.
Do things that made the old you happy.... I've been working on myself for 2 years. i am fine when I'm not around my ex. Everyone I was friends with before I met my ex said they always thought something was off with her and never liked her or her family.
Oh yes, thank you for addressing this. 🙏
Thanks a lot. I think the essence of the problem is this addiction to how the narcissist sees you. If you gave them the control to define you, you're in trouble. I guess they are always in search for emotionally broken people who they can define through an unspoken mutual mirroring pact.
This addiction to how the narcissist sees you - well put!! That addiction to that is hallmark of childhood trauma!!
My X-spouse was so Covert & Passive Aggressive, that when he came over to the basement stairs as I shared a thought with him . . . I supposed that he was just being unusually attentive. In reality he waited for me to turn around and head downstairs to sweep his foot under mine and send me several feet upward. I landed on my forearm and tore my shoulder in three places. My daughter had given me a flight ticket for Christmas so I could go visit her in Colorado for a few days . . . I never dreamed it was him till he started acting out aggressively during the discard phase a few years later. What a journey it has been!
You're free ❤
I could say to my narcissistic mother that my sisters car looked really nice the other day. And she will twist it around so that my sister hears ~ " Your brother is so jealous of your car " That's how sick these people are.
U so often hit the nail on the head with exceptional clarity for me
oh I recognised it. I just didn't know how to stop it. Every time I spoke, she reacted like I'd said something obvious, or inappropriate, or insensitive. And after a while her narrative kind of stuck on me and I withered in her presence and so I stopped trying to chat to other people. So it ended up being everybody that excluded me.
They have tons of experience doing this so yeah I have to tell myself that I was a mark for a very proficient abuser
Oh wow this is so good! Bottom line they destroy your soul
Unfortunately - yes!
Thankyou Michele!
You are so welcome!
I was married to a narcissist for over 15 years, after the breakup it took me over 10 years to realize it.
It wasn't until I learned about narcissism that I understood.
All the pieces fell into place and there were not a few.
I was traumatized and still struggle with the after effects.
What I want to say is important, whether you are aware that you are in a narcissistic relationship or not.
You must never let go of your good qualities, the ones that you have always seen as good qualities.
You must not let go of what you stand for when someone accuses you of something that you cannot understand.
People with different characteristics will never understand each other, not even if they agree on something, even if they use the same words.
The words will have different meanings and you will discover that when the words are put into practice.
I love the autopilot analogy ❤
There's no such thing as too much genuine affection.
Covert narcissists are seen as wonderful in their circles and people will never believe what they’ve done and don’t understand smear campaigns weren’t true. Is there any way to salvage the truth in these situations?
Terrible time in my life. I literally thank GOD that I am out of it and on the other side.
I used to watch your videos so much when I was still in it over a year ago and realised I was being psychologically, mentally and emotionally abused by a covert narcissist.
Then I had to heal childhood and relational trauma wounds and then set boundaries with family etc. whew what a long way I came thanks to God.
I thank God 100 times a day, still, and it's been 5 years! 🎉
Good back at it ❤️🔥
It works! Idk how but he bad mouthed me in subtle but effective ways
Yes I feel like I’ve lost myself. He has triangulated me with his own friends too so literally everyone in “our” (his) circle thinks I’m insane and abusive. He’s told people things I told him in co guidance about a guy HE said he didn’t like. He’s acted like I stopped him from going out! I never did I just used to panic and get upset because he would silent treatment, start a fight, break up and then go on weekend long benders! Then started using that as punishment.
Thank you for great observations and excellent advice.
They will teach your children to not trust you and to reject you. Even the closest of relationships. Hide your kids from narcs and teach your children about it
Thank you 🙏 Michelle.
YOU, your channel, your content, your character, have collectively been little glimmering sparkles of light in a vast landscape of the dark abyss for me personally the past 3 years.
I appreciate you and all that you contribute to the subject matter on Cluster B Circus Clowns.
Gratitude 🙏
Merry Christmas to you and all the beautiful souls who have endured what they have with these beings.
Stay alert! Stay alive!
Your a great coach
If its not in the persons nature to be nice~and there being nice, PUT YOUR GUARD UP.
You really do feel physically like a puppet on strings.
Another physical feeling is of being stuck behind a glass wall, where you can see others but they cannot hear you. They cannot understand you in speech or action.
Oh I love being a far Pinocchio
They give occasional "rewards" of permitting you to have contact with old friends but in a highly controlled way with strings attached
U aged like wine, been a while since i seen your videos, they helped alot
😘
The whole thing is so insidious. I'm so angry at her for doing this to me. Healing is so unbelievably difficult.
insidious is the only word that fits these psychotic people. Stay fit my friend and get strong. Lift weights, eat right, get rest and stay positive.
I’m with you. I’m finally waking up to what’s been going on and feel very angry and resentful. I’m just not the man I used to be.
I haven’t dated in seven years after being married to and dating 4 different narcissists. Now I see the red flags 🚩 n the first five minutes and don’t feel inspired.
She’s isolated me from my family and friends over years. I am a completely different man compared to 20 years ago. I’ve gone from not knowing what was going on to now feeling very angry.
Very well explained, the damge caused to you by silent treatment.
Wow great video and its such a damaging disorder bc it's so complicated well u can't learn enough about this and to each his own but I feel that you can learn something new every single day about it and if people are okay and they think they're healed well you know what those people can get hurt again because there's so many different characteristics to it but I just watch it all the time but it is good I mean Ed educational thank you
Definitely true for me..
My mother did this too! Surprise I married an abuser just like my mom
Michelle with all due respect you are very beautiful.
My ex did it from the day
He visited me evernight so I could nog meet anybody else.
So true.
I thought it was love????
If you suggest meeting some of your friends they decline, there is always something a little more unimportant… or they say «I would love to if it is just you and me, that would be soooo nice «(you get a bit flattered so you don’t think of it ad abuse… Or if they do meet them, it is with no energy. No questions, no interest… and after they find small faults (who had none..?) but they say it with a smile… leke; hahaha she had an interesting style… not like your great style… (you feel flattered so you don’t think of it as abuse…) or they suggest meeting their friends… that they also talk shit about, but that feels like bonding . But it makes it strange for you to reach out to them… you end up alone❤ been there.. Thank you ❤
Michele, you said, "Whether or not you choose to leave the narcissist is completely up to you." That just simply isn't true, and I REALLY hope that content creators on this subject will stop saying things like that. I've lived with chronic health issues my whole life, which prevent me from having any financial resources to work with. Leaving simply isn't an option for me, and neither is therapy. Please be sensitive to those of us who can't afford to make choices for ourselves, and who literally have no options.
I don't think she meant it that way. Being insensitive.
@@rvh77 That may be true, but my point is that I hear similar things all the time from people who talk and teach about narcissism, and it gets really frustrating after a while for no one to ever acknowledge the fact that some of us have no options for solutions or help.
@@janeylynn5934not everyone is able to leave, though it is the best solution. Barring that, hopefully the advice provided can help you navigate your situation and start to understand what you’re up against and start to heal. I’m sending you love and strength. This is a brutal thing to live through. 💪💜
I feel for you! It’s not easy for anyone, but that makes it almost impossible ❤
Think she meant in general
Thank you.
Amen .Thank you for this great video Michelle .Your advice is so spot on .Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year. Rich and Abundant Blessings to you and yours ,this Holiday Season and always.🎉🎉🎉💞💐🌸🌷💕🌺♥️💝💖💖💖💖💖🐕🦺🧬😼😼🌹🎉🎉🎉
Be right back CoachM .
I’m in a relationship with a covert narcissist and we are church going people so around that type of people it gets even trickier. Because what happens is the people in our circles are social circles Support him they don’t see him in that light. It’s a constant struggle to diminish what he does and, continue being a submissive wife
Sure. A narc who is successfully controlling someone---their opinions, ideas, emotions, etc. in a relationship, will probably make that person withdraw from others, and make them withhold their ideas, opinions, emotions, etc. from their usual friends even...because they're so screwed up by the narc. People might ask what's wrong but the victim is so confused and controlled by the narc they won't/don't easily give any information.
,(4:20) Self sufficientcy is tough early in life by parents that want the best for us and sometimes in Schools that have a well being course for young students starting to reach the eye opening ages ! Yes,No ?
(2:34) Some kind and honest people trust in other they really feel emotional about but those that can read on to the trust can gently with time brain wash a kind person making them think they are truthful? Yes , No ?
Not to get all religious on people but, why would God allow these psychotic narcissists to destroy so many lives, so many GOOD people?
Они представляются всем "поим секретарем", в итоге для всех я просто "тот у кого украсть". Если ты не существуешь, то вместо тебя, твояю судьбу существует кто то другой. Культурная аппроприяция и кража интеллект. собственности большая проблема (и оно еще вспыхнет в будущем).
"Flying monkeys". Love this term. This is how our groups of friends operated. They sucked up my ex-wifes vicim plays completley.
How does this happen 😭😭 how does someone turn Narcissist when its so un natural? No one did this to them?❤️😢😢😢
It's caused by their abusive mother who is emotionally unavailable. Because at about 5 years old they experience huge amount of stress they aren't able to handle, they create a false persona as a coping mechanism and merge with it. They cease to be a human from that moment and begin looking for those who can be manipulated into worshiping their false persona. It's like having a eternal hissy fit that makes them think they are a god.
"This is because they believed and then abandoned faith. Therefore, their hearts have been sealed, so they do not comprehend."
Holy Quran chapter 63 ("al-munafiqun" translation "hypocrites" [aka narcissists] )verse 2
@@peesheenamvar1264 Believe or not, but there are atheists who are narcissists. Hence, religion has nothing to do with it.
As a self-aware diagnosed narcissist I could provide an answer that was my experience, early childhood traumas, betrayal and almost daily violence. I grew up not knowing I was a narcissist until 2 and 1/2 years ago.
When you leave then they stalk you???
Yea that's it 👋
My narc girlfriend has a daughter that monkey branched out of our house and got her own man . now he is trapped . i didnt realize i got monkey branched by her mother . Wake up hello . i have seen it still navigating my exit .
Ditto
Can this happen with co-workers or strangers, like they are not in a relationship but manipulation is afoot, I think. They don't really know each other but they're still able to isolate and tell stories that justifies them in the situation.( and is staying quiet and not engaging a good response?)
I work crazy hours. What time are your zoom calls Michele ?
Hi 👋 so we meet at 1:00 and 4:00 pm eastern at different days - usually Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays. I tell everyone it’s a buffet pick and choose the meetings that are most beneficial to be in person and you could always watch the recordings at your leisure. Also be aware that I will be hosting one free workshop per month starting in February.
The narcist is a hypnotist ?
My cousins were the flyin monkeys
May I comment ? Please respectfully?
Aloha hugs 🤗 I would have to live in my Car, I am 53 years into this relationship He has convinced my children,
That No Money He PTSD from Nam OCD.
Seriously, a Very happy. O am and we are getting well God put us together I am in Hawaii, I don't need all that. I have a Car Gas money Artista
I am changing I ¹😅hugs everyone
Woah ,,severe jealousy ??? 😤
Yea super
Omg 😢this is exactly how it’s does it’s really a fog and you totally change into a function zombie on some levels for these people YOU ARE THE TRUTH AND YOU REALLY UNVEIL THE CORE TO THEIR MOVES 🎯💯🥹🥺🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾😭😭😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰
❤
The AI pictures are way too much
I hear i love you but i feel its a lie .
It’s almost scary how on point u are. Are u a narcissist? 😭😭😭 jk
Heal your own narcissist aspects and stop making it about 'them'. Then 'they' will dissappear.
No, they won't.
This is what my ex-wife has been doing with me and my kids.
Same thing happened to me. She ended up stealing everything I'd worked for 16 years.
Used the kids as an excuse to do it' feel sorry for me feel sorry for me' it's all his fault' I didn't do nothing. Turned my family and friends against me' took everything I'd worked for' my body shop business of 16 years' my way of making a living' left with the kids and had the court order me to pay child support and alimony. Finally got the kids back and raising them on my own' paying all the bills' the court would not drop the child support on me. I was paying her child support and keeping/supporting the kids at the same time for 6 years. Now they've turned on me blaming me for all the mental and physical abuse they went through from the mom but still bow down to her trying to justify/approval of their actions towards me. She twisted their minds to the point they have no common sense and are up in their mid/late 30's.
Permanently damaged for life and raising kids of their own with that mindset and now their kids are having mental health issues from all that's happened.
I'm the bad guy with no life left barely getting by.
Your beautiful