I’ve been playing guitar for a long time, but my kids never really saw me play live. We played an outdoor party and my wife showed up with my two daughters. It’s was great to see the look on their faces. They were really surprised and had a great time! It’s a great memory for me.
Force yourself to quit for a month. If it sticks and you enjoy not being in it anymore it wont feel like you quit. But if it keeps showing itself to you again and again youll know. Live honestly, write boldly and accept gracefully.
My girlfriend is my biggest naysayer, she says I should be happy getting married and having kids. The dream will never happen so why even waste the time trying. She even told me to not post videos because it could embarrass her and if I keep posting, I obviously don't care about her feelings. I make music because I love it, I feel like with every song I get better, and honestly, for me, it's not about making it. I make music for me, to help me cope with life, and if other people like it that's awesome. I really can't stop even if the person closest to me tells me I need to, for her.
I think it is telling that the person asking the question is 27 years old. This period in life is tough for people with dreams. As you approach 30 it is pretty normal to feel that you need to grow up and do what everyone else does. Get a career, save for a house, pay into a pension, don’t die. Those that got on with it at 20 years old are ahead of the curve compared to you and they are everywhere. I was around that age when I realised that I wasn’t going to play football at a higher level than I’d already played. It was tough. I decided to give it up and not play again. I was at work one Monday morning not long after and speaking to a carpenter who was a bit older than me. He he asked what else I did and I told him that used to play football and blah blah blah. His response changed my view and I started playing again that weekend. He told me that this was my trade. It was me. It was what I had spent my life working on. Why would I throw that away. Why wouldn’t I now relax and enjoy what I had learned and go back to playing without limits. Which is what I did. And I still play to this day 17 years later... And like all the England players since that day, I too have never won a World Cup.
You can quit a band, you can quit on a contract, but you can not quit music. If music is inside you, you need to keep making music or else you will be miserable. Even if you just play around the house, you can never fully give it up completely. Also, 10 years is nothing, 27 is still young. I'll be 36 next week and I've been playing music for over 20 years. I may not have money, I may not have many fans, but this is who I am. I can't not do this. There's time when I don't do it as much or as often, but it's always there. The more I go off and do other things, the more I find myself thinking about music and wanting to work on music. My band is about to release our 4th album but I've already got the next 2 planned out in my head, not in great detail, I've not written the songs yet, but I have an idea of what the albums will be like. As for funny stories from my music career, I was actually just telling this one elsewhere. It was the day that I realized that it probably wasn't going to work out with another band member. He'd spent all this money having this rehearsal room built in his backyard, sound proofed and everything. It was really cool. So I thought that this meant he was committed to his music. About 2 or 3 rehearsal sessions in to working at this new place, his football team happened to have a match on the same night. We were rehearsing and then he said "I'm just going to check the scores", so the rest of us carried on without him for a while. We didn't see him again for 3 hours. He got distracted, sat and watched the entire football match with a few drinks (and possibly some other substances). That version of the band fell apart soon after.
Ohhhh no shit. Had a friend of mine who was in another band when I lived in the same city as him. I moved back to where I was from and he eventually left the band. Then he and I got to talking and did the whole "We should be in a band" thing. I moved all the way back across the country to do this. He had a studio setup in his house and he'd been playing since he was a little kid, so I thought he was serious. Ho-ly SHIT was I wrong. Dude was like a wheelbarrow, I'd have to pick him up to try to move him forward in any way, yet when I'd think he finally had momentum, he'd just drop down and dig his heels in. Due to us having been friends, I gave him WAY more time than I should have. I'm pretty sure whatever anyone reading this is thinking, it was at least double that. We never even put two notes together. Let alone jamming or anything else beyond that. I only saw him 8 times the entire time I was back in that city... Two of the times were back to back, not sure if that makes it better or worse, though. There was a point that despite being THAT guy in any circle of people who was always dating and going out with girls and such... I locked myself in my apartment for three months to focus on writing songs and such. This guy however, had zero time for any of that (Despite working the standard 40 hours a week) yet was always hitting me up about his dating woes. Like one time, I was in between jobs for a couple weeks and he actually dropped on me "I feel like you're not understanding the time issue because you don't have a job." Fucking kidding me? Yea, let's totally ignore that when I had a job which was 9hrs/6 days a week AND going to school full time, I was STILL on his ass about it. Basically, there are guys who would rather SAY they're in a band than to actually be in one, regardless of how much they have. One should just do their best to not get sucked up in their jerkoffery.
Love this!! Am 31 and in the same mind frame, great advice, you can't quit music, I tried 😂😂 this year I said no music and still ended up gigging, writing and networking 😂😂 but during the process of actively "quiting" music i completely changed my expectations and now can't wait to get back on it 🎵🎶🚀💜💜
My advice is that if you're thinking of quitting, just quit. Get to know your instrument again and do something else, get into gardening, get some space and come back to it if you feel the pull.
At 33, reflecting upon my “journey,” I observe that pursuing music has been less a fruitful artistic endeavor bringing humane engagement, and more a relentless quest for perfection. Every note and melody I’ve created, has been scrutinized with expectations of being ‘flawless’ - completely understandable, satisfactory, and acceptable to the listeners. Whatever songs I wrote, musical performances I gave, or activities I engaged in, they went unheard and unappreciated. Any deviation from perfection, any hint of the unconventional in music, is not just overlooked but actively scorned. This relentless pursuit of musical perfection has left me questioning the very essence of my creative expression. I’ve felt an increasing sense of isolation, not solely from engaging in music but from an unexplainable drift in my social connections. And the judgment surrounding any of my musical creations that dared to step outside the bounds of conventional perfection often made me feel as though I was the one at fault. It’s as though the music I create reflects a deeper flaw within myself. The dissonance between my love for music and the crushing weight of societal expectations has been a source of deep disillusionment. I began to question if music was ever the right path for me in this context. It felt like navigating a minefield where each step was fraught with the risk of rejection and disdain, a constant battle against the tide of cultural norms that dictate what music should be. Throughout this journey, I’ve continued to play and create out of my love for music, yet with a heart increasingly burdened by questions and doubts.
I'm a hip hop artist and rap/produce/mix my own stuff in my apartment. Did my first open mic at a place that was supposedly catering to rap for a night. It was a small hipster hole in the wall. In the audience I saw clients from my professional job, ironic because I wanted to keep my music career on the DL. I did a few songs, 808s shaking this small venue. On top of that I'm in a foreign country and no one really understood the bars I was laying down. The energy felt so unrecipricated as I sweated and sacrificed my local reputation to people staring at me blank faced. After, some guy got up and spoke dirty poetry about his past love. It was surreal but fun. Funny when I look back on it. Thanks Damian, I've been releasing stuff for the past couple of years and been a bit frustrated, I think focusing on the journey and celebrating these moments not only brings us back to why we're doing it, but it also brings out our rawest forms to live our crazy dream just a little bit bitter and make better music and not gaf expectations from ourselves or others.
I played guitar in jazz ensemble back in college three years ago. The director was like the dude from Whip Lash. He was also a world class piano. I remember the security at the school saying, “you should watch the movie whip lash. The relationship between you and the professor is the same🤣 as the kid and his instructor in the movie.” 🥲good times. I’m a better musician because of it. Yeah
Hey Damian. Thank you for posting this video. My story is a little atypical then maybe what you’re used to getting as far as advice or questions go. I’m a very young at heart 42 year old Drummer who has played the original music game and is now in the cover band scene in the Philadelphia area where cover bands dominate. I’m signed to a major management company and they have us play amazing venues. Unfortunately, I feel that I’ve gotten lost when it comes to music being a priority or passion and it kind of feels like a job instead of bringing me joy and I’m having a hard time trying to figure out why that is. I do have to tell you that I have a full time job that pays my bills so I do not rely on music for money. I’m seriously contemplating quitting music in which I’ve played for over 30 years. Very upset about this and am looking for some help. Keep Up the great work. Love your channel - you rock dude 🤘🏻
I stepped away from music for...lots of years. I quit. I ran away to join the "normal life" circus. Music tracked me down eventually and gave me such a beating that when I blew my nose, semen came out. The coolest gig the band did was at a sky-diving gig. Those guys and girls were so high on adrenaline that as an audience they were phenomenal! When the gig was done and it was time to calm down, it got even more interesting. A huge bonfire was made with wooden stumps that were as thick as the torso of a man and as tall. A norse-looking long-haired blond girl kept feeding them onto the fire. She was remarkably pretty in the face and incredibly strong and muscular in the body. Her nick-name was "Helga". Probably a little unkind but very fitting. The skydivers (and the band) drank a drink I will never forget. It was called "Buffalo Juice". The recipe isn't fixed. The only constant is a 2 litre tub of vanilla ice-cream and a large bucket. Everyone brings a bottle of hard liquor. All bottles and the ice-cream are emptied into the large bucket and mixed until moderately fluid and then EVERYONE drinks until it's finished. The mixture was extremely palatable. The hang-over extremely horrible. That night was the coldest night I've ever endured in a tent - middle of winter on an open, bare airfield. The next morning the drummer was gone. He'd gotten too cold and took his girl and himself home. On the way home our car broke down and we tried to fix the f***ed radiator with chewing gum. A couple of rough blokes with a vehicle far too small for the engine it had towed us home at illegally high speeds. We made huge losses on that gig but it was the best and most fun! That band has long been...erm...disbanded. Fun times.
If you are passionate about music then keep doing it. If you are not passionate, or if your interests have changed then quit. It does not have to be permanent either. Quit music for one year and see if you miss it. 27 is very young. Sheryl Crowe broke with "All You Wanna Do" when she was 32 years old.
I started in the music industry when I popped out of my piano playing mother's womb in 1958 whilst my drummer father was panicking, as all fathers do ;) On my first birthday, my father gave me a drum and a pair of sticks, in the hope that I would become a drummer (I kind of did). At age 4 my grandmother tried to teach me the piano (as she'd forced my mother to learn) but I could never get past the basics. A couple of years later my grandparents took a holiday in Spain and came back with a Spanish acoustic guitar which changed my life! At age 12 I joined my first band and at 14 I had my first professional gig! That was it! I was on my way to fame and fortune!!! ;) Then... more gigs... and more years... and more gigs.. and more years... etc! Hmmm... At some point (I think in my late 20s) I wondered if I was ever going to "make it"! I kept going, and going, and going, and somewhere in my 40s I realised something... I AM successful! I'm writing songs and playing music and getting better at it every day! This IS my life!!! I''m now 60! Should I quit because "blah, blah, blah,"??? I've been doing this stuff ALL my life and will NEVER stop! Time for me to quit? FUCK OFF!!!
I ve released 2 singles this year as a 47 year old male. They don t make me any money and i don t expect them to. Back in the days when i was 27-35 i was eager on getting my band on the road. But bands are often very unstable units and the ones you see succeed are often just made up of 2 musical geniuses carrying the rest along. Think about it. Not even big bands can really have ' success' . Every one of their songs and albums is just a temporary high and all of them are afraid to ..fail. Just like any ' start-up musician' aiming for succes. So yes, enjoy the journey . Coz it s all yours.
On point Damien... Thanks ! I "quit" 20+ years ago to have and raise a family. It was the most painful decision to make, but I don't regret it at all as I have years of beatiful memories with my wife, 4 kids. Now that the kids are starting their independent lives I've been able to press play again, and have realized that "quitting" was an amazing thing, for now at the age of 50 I have so much more to bring to my music, and I know this go around, the dream of creating music and making a living will be happening. Thanks Sir!
Once, while we’re playing an intoxicating homeless grabs the mic and starts singing Clint Eastwood, I didn’t knew what to do so I started playing the song and my band mates followed. We played like a minute until the security from the gig take him out the stage. The funniest thing is that he knew the all rap part and the crowd kinda like it.
Everyone, who really makes music cannot do otherwise. Point is, to survive while you go on. And that mean,- in order to continue making music one should become independent from income from music-making. Fame or money can come , or not. Moral satisfaction is best achievement .
When I was 30 I was in a similar position, I'd pushed myself to record an album and worked on it for a few years, when things didn't take off I was left wondering whether that was it for me with music, but I took a break from it and discovered that even though I was no longer fixated on making a career out of it I couldn't let go of music because it was my primary creative outlet and without somewhere to put my creativity I turned that energy inward and became self-destructive... long story short I now make music as my hobby - I have no expectations at all from it and I'm enjoying it more than ever before, and that was down to doing it purely as a form of self-expression, experimentation and creativity and not as a potential source of income.
Great video Damian. One story for me is recording my first EP using a bed mattress as sound proofing. I was renting in a 2 bed house so used to drag this heavy mattress from one bedroom to the other, prop it up vertically and pray that it didn't fall on me lol. It's only a little thing, but needless to say, I don't use a bed mattress any more for recording! I think part of the problem is social and online media means there's so much visibility of other people's successes. Naturally as musicians, we all want that success, so we set that as our end goal. But then it's easy to forget how hard they have worked to get to that position so get grumpy when we're not achieving those goals in a short amount of time. For me, I've found comfort in genuinely enjoying what I do, choosing to not do things I don't want to and being myself throughout the process :)
Man there’s no way you can know how much I appreciate this video. I have been very destination-obsessed for years and it’s very hard for me to have fun because chasing it has taken over my whole existence. I love every second of it but I’m not able to enjoy much in life if I’m not working on a project or doing some part of my plan to “get there.” It’s a rough life and I’m still seeking a way to relax a little along the way.
Man! To the guy who wrote that: I was at a crossroads in college after landing on academic probation about whether to dropout and pursue music or put it on the back-burner and finish school. I chose to finish school & I’ve got the debt to show for it. It was a challenge dragging myself out of bed everyday for something I wasn’t passionate about. But at some point, I met some cool ppl. Developed my identity outside of just being a musician and made some priceless memories, experiences & relationship. I never stopped making music altogether. I just wasn’t pressed about pursuing a career. I was able to grow as a musician w/o the pressure of “making it”. Became better at producing & mixing (I started out just rapping). Once I graduated I realized I had the skillset to make my own music and when I dig deep, I knew my passion for making art that moves ppl was powerful enough to pull me thru any obstacles I might face along the way. I’m in the phase that’s supposed to be “not-so glamorous” but I tell you those relationships & memories I made carry me thru. Those ppl support me & think back to the times we had. That on top of my talent draws ppl in & allows me to effect in ways others can’t. I challenge you to enjoy the journey bc honestly, it’s all we’ve got! And there will always be one. I’m 26 btw! So I understand that approaching 30 pressure. Enjoy the process. Think of ways to build a personal brand around your personality and let the music be the cherry on top. If ppl like you, if u make them feel valuable. If u journey thru life with them, they’ll support most anything positive u do with your life. Much love, I hope it helps!
agree with poster below , 27?! ha ha. Not old enough to write a blues song. Damian, I found out long ago that the only way to enjoy music is to NOT have the financial pressure, even though i would love nothing more than waking up, staying home, making music and digging through old tapes. I do it in increments, and try to create more time for it. It may not be the same for everyone.
Okay Grasshoppers....... I’m 70 moving on to 71 and done many things outside of music......but the music has always been there in one form or another.....and you can’t escape it.....so you could say don’t try to. Other experiences enrich you in one way or another and that’s a good thing......and yes as a young guy you need to earn a living but think of it as a game. You may look for fame an fortune but that can bring a lot of grief very often Return to what you love and just keep baking cakes till you find a good recipe you like. An untamed or unwise Ego is a killer and ruined many a potential good band. Musical manners are very important and a number of players don’t have them. Don’t let your ego let you down.,. Mature over time like a fine wine ...... it will bring deep satisfaction. Here I am starting to write and record in GarageBand and it’s just great to be able to do something on your own with out all the niggles. A good way to assemble material and then if inclined get players together. Don’t waste time with the naysayers. I still go out and have a chant with a live band from time to time. Be independent which leads to strength. If you need a break take one and meditate. Amusing story... the roady had loaded up the van but we couldn’t go cause he couldn’t find the keys..... We looked everywhere... in the end we unpacked all the gear again and there were the keys...... I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
Once again a great message to consider. I don't really have a chuckling story, but I find it funny, over the last six months any time I said I was quitting, I wrote a new song lol. It really is about the journey. I love to write so that's what I do. I think most musicians aspire to be famous, not a bad thing, but what is famous? Play, write, follow your heart the destination may not be exactly what was thought up...🍻😀 cheers bud
Was like the 5th gig 15 yrs ago, drove for about 2 hours in a van to play in a bar close to the beach, we were the first band to play and the place was crowded! Like 30 people ha! Started playing, everyone banging heads, then pum! A broken string! I was so nervous I could not finish the set, so we skipped until the end to keep playing, everyone was gone, a couple of guys came by at the end to cheer us up. We were hungry, no money, but like 3 pieces of cheese in an empty freezer, drove back and the van broke up 😆 the alternator stoped working, we were in the middle of nowhere in the night, no lights, well actually! Dimmed lights, we were driving very slow, a family vehicle passed us by, they had mallets on the top, so we followed them cause their back lights were the only source of light we had that night. We could barely see them far away stoping, we were driving like at 15 miles per hour and could barely see a meter away, did not noticed when suddenly a big mallet laying on the ground! We stepped over it and a bunch of clothes went flying around! The family vehicle was backing up to pick their stuff up, so we decided to drove even slower to help them, but then our van definitely broke down!! We had to park under a bridge for the rest of the night, the family vehicle passed by but did not stop to help us, and we ended up eating american cheese for dinner until help arrived in the morning! It was fun 😆!
Every time I see one of my students drinking la croix I tell this story: My band invited a solo artist on our second tour. We were touring in my 2014 ford focus and the tour was only a weekender so we decided to pack light. Each member of my band brought a bag and an instrument (I literally only brought a snare,) and a tiny mech bin. We pulled up to a solo artist's house and they come out with their instrument, a GIANT pedal board and merch bin, two full backpacks, a bunch of bananas, a box of cliff bars, and a whole case of COCONUT LA CROIX. It was very cramped and miserable and the solo artist didn't shut up whenever we were in the car and bitched about every show we played. I am glad that I got to share this trainwreck of a tour with my two best friends and hope that I never tour with anyone like that again. Thanks for this video Damo. It helps a lot of us out.
Once our kickdrum pedal broke down mid gig... and who the hell carries a spare for a kickdrum pedal?! We were a dance act so the kick was sort of a big issue, at the end I ended up trying to slap the kick pattern on my hollowbody bass for the rest of the gig, while singing. That is the day I found out I absolutely suck at improvised multitasking.
Music Producer here. I don't really work a lot with different people but about a year ago, I got a bit more serious about music. While searching through some Instagram posts to look for good hashtags, I randomly came over the #collab. I liked the video and because of that hashtag I just randomly asked if the person wanted to collab with me. Was incredibly nice and I got closer to her through that. Turns out she was suicidal and I basically "saved" her from killing herself about 5 weeks after we first wrote with each other. We made a ton of different stuff together, barely put out anything but we both greatly improved (especially I improved because she's been making that for like 6 years longer than me). I was able to help her a lot, she's basically my mentor by now and though she is still depressed due to a ton of facts that I don't all wanna write down here, I was able to help her a lot with life in general. Sorry not too funny or so but there isn't too much funny stuff I had whilst creating music. Production always feels super great though, it's not comparable to anything else.
I've started when I was 12. I've had a gig or two, all unexpectedly acclaimed and people talk about them to this day, but... Usually after THAT gig, I guess because of all the hard work and accumulated negativity, every band would just split up. Then I've started buying equipment to build a studio, my lifelong dream. My partner quit with a bang after his brother killed himself, I got a brain tumor and went to work abroad. I have been kicked out of every place my studio was in. I never got to record one complete song in these 29 years of trying. I am sick as hell, now, working in a shitty hotel in the Alps just to survive, while my equipment lies in storage. Who knows how long I still have to live. Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY tells me to quit already and sell everything. I will NEVER quit!!!! Born to lose, lived to win, died to discover!!!
I played a friends birthday party once. By the end of the gig, the only thing I was wearing was my guitar. I also did not know that the drummer was live streaming. Good times
Haha, that Poland journey got me. Based in Austria we used to record in London, so i drove my Landrover from Vienna to London and back twice a year for 3 ys, loaded with guitars and amps and little pills to be able to drive that way non-stop. When we finally got a headline gig at the marquee club, our singer got jailed at the border the day before and then on stage two vintage tube amps went up in smoke. That was '87. I'm 58 now and never got rich but will only stop making music when death gets me.
Thought I had a bit of flu the morning of a gig we were supposed to play in a city 6 hours away. Refused to cancel it because I'm super insecure about being percieved as a flaky musician avoiding a real job. Played my set almost falling over between songs and sleept during the headliner's set. The next morning I was delerious in hospital with septic shock. Got pretty harrowing at the time but now it's my manager's go-to story to flex about my dedication. stoked as.
I tried 2 to “make it” with two different bands between 18-28 years of age. Towards the end of that phase I was burnt out, so I went to school and got a degree in computer science. While in school I started playing in a Latin cover band. That led to paid gigs at weddings and such. Started loving playing music again. I am now 37 and recently joined a band that plays folk and rock. They have their s@&t together. A studio, RV for traveling. We play mostly original songs and some covers. Things are looking really good. My university degree has also paid off and I’m no longer strapped for cash. Now I’m able to do music again because I love it. I’m even starting o dream of “making it” big again, lol. My advice is “never quit” but change your approach instead if it doesn’t feel right. As long as you continue playing you will continue to get better as a musician and opportunities will continue to knock at your door. Thanks for the videos btw, very much appreciate the content.
Hi mate, I am about to turn 31 and i'm in virtually the same position. Been playing since the age of 7.. Since turning 30 I have suddenly got this panicky feeling like (it actually might not happen the way i imagined). I write and produce my own songs and am at the stage where i am the best Ive ever been. However I have literally put my whole life into this and I have not got much to show for it other than some savings, some musical talent and a few followers. I have friends who are now on 6 figures and are giants in the corporate ladder and I'm still just plodding along with no experience in the (work world). So as I result I have just applied for a Data Science masters. I have not decided whether or not to do it yet as I keep zigzagging between what I should do (classic heart vs head). Literally never felt so lost. Did you ever regret moving into that job world? And did you enjoy it?
I was at a cross road about this same subject. My band broke up back in February after our final 3 day tour. I recently joined a cover band but decided to walk away because I lost the fun from my previous band. So I decided to take a couple of months off from music only to some how have the courage to try again and try again I have so now I’m starting over in a new band which has uplifted me from this rut I was in a couple of months ago. No matter how many times I tried to move past music I need it in my life. This vid actually really helped
Played a tiny basement gig a couple years back. It was all solo acoustic acts, then my four-piece band came on. They gave our drummer a little toy kit and the kick drum kept bashing the back of my leg, had to twist my body at an insane angle to sing as the mic was feeding back in pretty much any other position. No sound engineer either!
I never made more money than enough to cover my expenses, but I loved gigging. Then I got a demanding job, met a new partner, settled down had a daughter, bought a house. 23 years without playing a gig. In April I played live again and it was amazing.
After years of being *scared* of forming a band in case it was shit/I was shit/it didn't work out, at 26 I decided to finally do it. After about 18 months, I was in my first band, playing songs that I had mostly hoarded over the years. Last December, we entered a local Battle Of The Bands competition for experience. We won it. They were our first three gigs. The end.
Our band just formed a year and a half ago and we are 24-27! As for our story, we played our first festival last summer thinking it was going to be a proper stage. It was a tiny little platform behind some bushes, and the main area was on the other side. It was 35C that day and flies and mosquitoes were landing all over our arms and faces. We were also in a rush to get there so our guitarist was eating hot toast with peanut butter on the way. The peanut butter melted and dripped all over his light blue pants 😂 Such an awful day but we played so well and had lots of fun.
At a BIMM ;) sheperds bush performance, Trying to climb over the barrier with guitar in hand , instead, ended up swivelling on the barrier and falling ass first to the metal flooring of said barrier, and no choice but to get on and moooove eeeet and keep that performance going!
Before I was a musician I was a pitchman working Costco and I would sing between pitches for passers bys. Once in a while someone would say "don't quit your day job!" I'd smile and say "this is my day job!!" 🕺😃 Cheers Damo! 🐒
Once at a performance I went to sit down and missed the chair completely, ended up falling over and swearing really loudly into the microphone right when there was a moment of silence.. that was a yikes. Another time I totally forgot to bring my microphone to a gig and 10 minutes before I had to start I went to a friends house to borrow hers. I wasn’t late and it worked out in the end 😅 love those little memories
I was part of a 70 person orchestra and it was fun sometimes but we waited alot after other instrument sections because they were fixing stuff. So my friends and I would make jokes and have a good time even though we were waiting. I look back at those memories and think that we were disturbing but it doesn't matter now.
I’ve seen hundreds of your videos Damo and this is my favourite! This did feel very considered and thoughtful. Your top three factors that hold most musicians back are pretty much my top three as well! I love my journey although it’s not always plain sailing. Over the last three years since I decided to go for it I’ve achieved a lot in my opinion especially as I don’t do it for a living. I think I’ve changed my expectations now. My goal is to be a full time musician which I still think would be incredible. I’ll keep pushing my music as much as I can but I’ve learned a lot along the way in terms of what is realistic with no budget. Ok, a funny story...I played a gig (paid) on the same night as an England match. The landlord wasn’t a football fan but put the game on the big screens above the stage I was on! Nobody was listening to me, it was really awkward but I still got paid and England won 😆⚽️
Cheers for all the video's Damo, they give us a much need wisdom and sight into a sometimes confusing industry..... Anyways i thought i would share a memory. Back in my Early 20's i was in a touring band called The Swamp Stompers over in Australia. We where on this tour in Western Australia, after a big night in which we where court via surprise from the sunrise, rather tattered drunk so we where. We showered we assembled over bacon and eggs, staring upon 3 straws shadowed via one van one imminent lunch time show. That show having followed a 4 hours of blistering sun with no air con, van trip stacked along the front like a pack of smokes.... Rough day was had but a great story and experience gained, wouldnt change it for the world.
This is such valuable advice Damian! Most of us would be so much happier if we lived for the Journey instead of the Destination. The truth is the Destination is the end of the line. We're all headed for the same end. We might as well enjoy the work and the walk. I had an experience on tour a while back in a small town in Tennessee. I booked the gig well in advance. When I got there the bar owner had completely forgotten that he booked me. But he honored the agreement. As I was setting up my equipment a police officer walked in and began talking to me--Mostly small talk--weather, music & such. When the officer left, the owner accused of being a spy for the police. I assured him it was a coincidence. I began to wonder what the guy was worried about hiding from the police. I was under scrutiny from a rough-looking crowd from the start--I was convinced there was some kind of illegal activity happening there. No worries, I cut my teeth performing in some of the roughest clubs. I had dealt with tough crowds before. The best bet is to engage them right away. A little bit of humor goes along way. I had no problem pointing out how rough these people looked. They seemed happy that I noticed. Before long I had them eating out of my hand. It turned out to be a great night, and I have an open invite to play there whenever I'm back in town. It was touch and go from the beginning, but it turned out ok--and it's a good memory for me now.
I used to be in a local contemporary jazz fusion hip hop band and we were playing at this beautiful local location out doors with the view of the river and the city behind us and we started playing just as the sun past the horizon so we had beautiful sunset lighting and mood lighting all around the area and we were playing a piece we wrote that was inspired by the tv show Hey Arnold and whenever we’d really just feel it vibe we just all kinda get in a world where we all have our stank faces on......that is until I played The Office theme and everyone broke laughing, then our guitarist turned his solo into the national anthem and our jazz concert became a patriotic moment for a second 😂
Two years ago, I was 16 and mas a drummer for a metal band. My first (and only until now) gig was at a bar in a near town, whose owner was somehow close to our vocalist. I asked about the condition of the drums and they said they had everything there, so didn't bother to bring my stuff (except sticks). But when I got there, the drum kit was SO screwed. I wont mention much about the quality of the equipment, but what surprised me is that they managed to use the stool as the support for the snare, and where I actually sat on the gig was in a bar stool that didin't helped at all in my drum techniques. And since it we where playing metal, it was so hard to keep the music going on. BUT INCREDIBLY THIS ISN'T THE END. We also had no return, so I couldn't hear a damn thing that my bandmates were playing. When we were playing the first song (which was Battery from Metallica) a guard showed and ordered to stop the show (and I am thankfull for that, since I didn't even knew what we were playing lol). We stopped for like, 20 minutes, and our vocalist discovered that the bar actually had two owners who had argued, and one of them was trying to boicot the event. Once we got to play, the owner of the equipment had to leave. Who saved us was my mom, who discussed a lot with the dude and we got to play one of our own songs, which was called Weekend. Fortunately there where some drunk old guys moshing that kinda lifted our spirits. Anyway, I remember of this thay as a good thing. It is kinda fun to complain about that drum kit hahaha
Well hi everyone! I love this man damian! You are a light for me. I'm one of those man that knows success! I'm not rich, or even known in my town. But i know im succesfull becouse i can have my guitar and create music that i like. I had bands and gigs and now i'm alone. I have luky if my friend(she's a mom, and married whith a friend of mine) jump in the drums and make some noise, but i'll never think in quit music, becouse like damian said that whould be a great story for me to tell. Thanks a lot for the video! And don't quit! World need musicans! 😊
Hey Damo! Great advice, its refreshing to watch someone who could have used this question to make a shallow pep talk video! I am 29 and started doing my own music this year after my previous band broke up. Never even considered to quit, I think that the fact that I didn´t is the answer to the question itself. GReetings from Argentina! Keep those videos coming!
I started recording music about a year ago and found my passion in it, I love experimenting with vocals and experimenting with new sounds etc.. me and my friend released a tape and put it out on Spotify and took it down after 8 months just because we enjoyed it for that 8 month period, anyways we’re both working on music at the moment and we love it... as exhausting as it gets at times we still love it and will always keep on going with creating music regardless of the outcome... having 1+ person listen to our music and genuinely enjoy is a blessing and that’s all we ever ask for.. just wanted to share this! Loved the video :)
Hey damian, thank you so much for all your knowledge, I love your channel!!! I see myself in your videos and it totally clicks with me. Good work man! It took me 20 years to realize that I was wrong with my approach and it didn't worked out as I thought it would. But after another disappointing band split, I think it was the 6th or 7th time, I was giving up on my believes and knew that I needed to find another way of making music, my own path. I needed stop depending on the other band members so much (I'm a singer without playing an instrument) and get rid off this high expectations and lower the pressure on myself. Oh, and I also needed to learn to get my ego in check...ego problems are the main band problems in my opinion. I started to work with a vocal coach via skype and started to focus more on my instrument and my skills. By the way, it really took 20years to find the right teacher for me, but I was not ready for someone before. That I know for sure. That also was the point were I started to walk again, started to fall in love with the path and stoped dreaming of an uncertain future. This dream of being a touring musician is still in my heart but for now I just want to get better, really good and keep building my music career but without so much stress in my head. I know I will sing till the end of my days...anyway. I'm not complaining. I know what I'm doing wrong but thanks to you and others I know now how to make it better...even right. :) keep up the good work, we need you! much love from the alps, flo ps: looking forward to your new book! :)
Despite having played guitar for almost 7 years as of a few days ago (although August 1st marks the 7th anniversary of me buying my first guitar. I borrowed one for two weeks to try it out before buying one), I have actually not played in a band as such yet. The closest things I've gotten is auditioning for some bands a few times, last time being in 2015, after which I decided to just focus my attention on being a solo-artist for now, and at some point join some of my favorite artists' bands as a touring guitarist for those. The most exciting story I have to tell, though, would have to be a month ago, when I went to see a Dark Country band that I really like (even though I currently play rock/metal covers, and write instrumental music heavily inspired by styles as diverse as Classical, 80's Rock, Japanese Pop and Traditional Japanese Folk music), I was the only person standing closer to the stage than the sound guy was. For reference, the sound-guy was about 30 meters from the stage, I was standing right in front of it, and everyone else was sitting on the grass further away. Kind of disappointing audience, but hey, I enjoyed it. At the end of the concert, they played their typical show-stopper, which also happens to be one of my favorite songs, and as always when they do that, I stood there, playing along to the song on air guitar. Because why not? So during the last part of the song, their lead-singer/rhythm guitarist took his guitar off his shoulders and handed it to me, so I could actually get to play along to the song on an actual wooden guitar. I actually thought I would have been more nervous than I was, though, but it was awesome to get to join one of my favorite bands on one of my favorite songs. There's a picture of me playing that song over on my grossly underutilized instagram-page (or right here: instagram.com/p/BzF1mMrHoRY/ ) for proof. I'm sure that at some point, I'll have more interesting stories to tell, as I get to the point where I have enough original music down and start playing gigs, but for now, this is about as exciting as it gets from me.
I thought about the question, 'Where does the pressure come from?' I think some of the pressure for me comes from people like you saying that I need to market differently, create lots of non-music content, sell a brand or a community instead of the music, etc. It is when I think about and attempt those tasks that I lose the joy of making music. One book made the point that recorded music is just an advertisement for the live show, which is where the actual money is made. I've always preferred recorded music to live shows, that's what I fall in love with, and that's what I aspire to do well. I spent quite a lot of time changing my process to be live show oriented and it burned me out bad. I get the impression that I have to change my creative focus entirely in order to gain an audience and build a career. That is what depresses me. I don't mean any of this as an insult to you because you do seem to know what you are talking about. It's really me who is too limited to act on these insights, to give the audience what they want.
Kris Cadwell I don’t have any answers for you, but I just wanted to say that I feel completely the same way sometimes. I guess the answer is do the bits you love. As for marketing; I heard a great quote about making content “don’t create, document”. Think more like a documentary filmmaker rather than a content creator. Anyway, just wanted to say that I agree, and it was cool to read that I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. All the best, CN
A story from many years ago. 5-piece rock’n’roll band called The SABREJETS. Arrive at working men’s club in the North East of England, go onstage. The concert chairman announces, “Ladiesangemmun! Put your hands together for a crackin’ band - THE SUFFRAGETTES!” I was about 29 when that happened. I’m 73 next month, still gigging & recording, still loving it & still learning; these videos are an inspiration...
Worst moment of my music career. I step onstage at The Gingerman in Dallas, Texas. It’s Blues night. The whole bar is shoulder to shoulder packed with the best blues players in all of Dallas. -I’m alright, but they call me up yo play with these guys from Brazil. “Bb minor,” one calls out. At something like 180bpm they count down, “1 2 3 ...” and begin shredding blues scales like Malmsteen was listening or something. -I take deep breaths and focus on finding the tonic as a blizzard tunnel collapses across my vision. I wake up with a circle of faces hovering over me. “How much did he have to drink?” The host asks my best friend, Luke. Luke shrugs, “He hasn’t had anything yet.” A year later my friend Luke confides, “I’ve gone and played so many stages and open mics this past year.” “That’s great, man, what changed?” He laughs, “After seeing you pass out at The Gingerman, I felt inspired.” “Really?” “Yeah. I thought, what’s the worst that can happen? Can’t be worse than you, Beau. You’ve literally done it, and you’re fucking fine!” Thanks Damian.
Enjoy your channel! My story: A single father, I set aside my dreams to be a musician for a couple decades. In my mid-forties, I said it's now or never and went all in. Now 9 years later, I've played over 2000 shows across Canada. I merged my two paths, as a musician, and my former career, a manager in the retirement industry, now Canada's busiest care home entertainer. I perform for the seniors as 'Jimmy's Old Time Radio Show' while working my original material as 'Skarni'. Just released my 4th studio record, 3 or originals now, 1 of classic covers. The care homes have embraced me, so my focus is there, 300 + shows a year. Not getting rich, but getting enriched. Wrote a book about entertaining seniors, awaiting a publisher. Applied to do a Ted Talk. Have several more records material to record. More material than time or money. At 53, without a retirement plan, I question myself, go back to the 'real world'? Again, it's now or never. I'm getting by, I'm surviving, but on the edge. Working, working, working, always new content, relentless networking, every day, 24/7, focused. Start my 8th major tour in two weeks, 35 shows across the Maritimes, all care homes but for one. What to do? I'd appreciate your thoughts. Search Skarni and Jimmy's Old Time Radio Show on Facebook and RUclips to learn more. Cheers.
Montreal Quebecer around 23-24 years old, i joint a band to play bass guitar. called 4Nocs. A year before, my heavy metal rock band (wich i've started ) kick me out because i was too deep in my studies, and not enought on my guitar... Yeah, with college they were right. But switching to this pop rock ballad band lit a spark in my head, to play music live. At that point, i was happy being a bass player in a original band, but i needed more! I didnt want to spent hours and hours polishing song on a computer every night and jams, i had the urge to play live shows! So i quit the band i was now playing bass in... a couple of month later, i unrolled in a TV series, guest what they needed bass player so much. And this started a journey identifying myself as a musician but a composer as well. Me and 3 other dudes won the Tv show, even if we didnt knew each other. the band is called Delta20, check it out. Then we decided to get an appartment and live together. And 2 years later we release our first album, and being signed with a label in 2011. I was 27 at that time... Now i'm writing songs, and i'm polishing them in front of a computer because i'm a dad now ;) Its funny how things change in time. But this journey help me forged who I am today. Maybe someday i'll play with other dudes or dudettes new songs. Who knows ;)
We stayed at one of our vocalist's parents' house for a super chill weekend and recorded an EP, great vegan food and singing at a fireplace inclusive. It was truly a wonderul experience. Your video is spot on for me. I've been thinking about taking a break because I've started less to enjoy the journey, putting too much pressure on myself and thinking about the goal, at the same time having to work very long hours for my job. It might be time for a break.
When I was 18-21 I was in a band with some friends of mine called Hotel Zulu. There were 5 of us spread over three cars. On the way to a gig at The Pavillion in Leicester, I was the drummer's passenger behind our bass player's car. Our bass player in his wisdom turned into a car park that he shouldn't have but instead of going around the car park to carry on in the direction of the venue, he found his own very special shortcut. Only he underestimated the difference in height of concrete below him and completely bottomed out! He then continued to scrape the entire bottom of his car along the pavement. Many of his cables came loose and also got an oil leak for which we had to call the RAC half way through the gig. To this day, it's possibly the funniest thing anyone has ever done in their car that I've seen! 😂😂😂
i'm 24 ive been playing music (guitar,bass,drums) since i was 10, i absolutely live for music,i've been in and out of bands over the past few years and ive had alot of ups and downs but i somehow get up and keep trucking. the demo-graph of people change i found the older i got and more people began to just do it for a hobby. I think if you just keep your head up and stay focused,it'll come in time. BTW check out my band Cain alley!!! hahaha
Nicely done dude, checked out a few tracks, sounding good! Like the riff in bridges, you guys have like a 90s grungey vibe with some fresh feels, keep it up! 💜
Hi Damian, thanks for this video, very thought provoking. I’m certainly guilty of focusing on a goal rather than enjoying the journey, even though I know contentment comes from being present in the moment and enjoying the journey. A gig story I think about a lot is playing at a slightly rough pub in Walsall. The usual band line up had a violin player added for that night. As an opening act and for a bit of a change we arranged for the violin player to do a duo set with the drummer (on guitar and singing) but just as they were about to start a stag do came into the pub. They were pretty full on so we had a quick change of plan and played all the loudest full band songs we had instead. At various points cued by some secret code word all the stags would fall on the floor and roll about with their legs in the air. Luckily just as we were running out of heavy songs they bid us farewell and moved on to another pub. For a while it felt like we were gonna have a disaster but getting that group of stags to enjoy our stuff felt like a big achievement and whenever a gig is shaping up to be a challenge I remember that.
Oh, here's a story that I love to tell nowadays, it's about MySon's best paid gig. Now that sounds like a complete success, but I'd argue it's far from it, this was this show at Café Joris in Tilburg on the 23rd of May 2009: www.mysonband.com/show/23-may-2009/ First things first, to put it into perspective, best paid was 150 euros, so certainly nothing major, but considering we mostly played for drinks, maybe some food and if we were lucky gas money, it paid rather well. Anyway, this was set up by a guy we had met at some concerts at other bands and we had some nice conversations with. He liked what we were doing, when he was asked by Café Joris to handle the programming of music, as they hadn't really had any live bands before. So he asked if we wanted to play and because we were up to play anywhere, anytime, we of course agreed. We'd start at 22:00 and play for an hour. So we arrive at the bar on the evening of our gig and Guus Meeuwis is playing on the PA, followed by more of these popular Dutch singers, etc. Now, MySon's a noise punk band, so there already is quite a disconnect there. As we start unpacking on the stage, the owner comes over to us and tells us that he would like us to start at 21:00 as the hockey girls had just become champions and were coming over to celebrate in his bar, and he wanted us done by the time they arrived. So disconnect number 2 right there, by this point, we know we are certainly in the wrong place for us. But hey, we were up for playing wherever, so we'd go ahead with it, and I don't think we really minded having to start and hour early. Especially because the inside of the bar was deserted, only the staff came walking through every now and then to go to the terrace, which did have a decent number of people. But they all appeared to be much old and very much not the type of people who would be into our music and probably just wanted to sit on the terrace and relax a bit. So 21:00 comes around and we start playing... for nobody... but hey, let's just take this as a public rehearsal. Now it was hard to summon the energy, etc. but let's just go for it and see where we end up, right? So I thing about halfway through our first song, we all of a sudden hear a loud bang. This was the door to the terrace being thrown shut by somebody on the terrace, who was obviously enjoying our sweet melodies... Anyway, we continue on, we did decide to cut the set short, especially because the owner already told us we should be done before the hockey girls arrive, so whatever. Now about 3/4 through our set, some hockey girls do arrive and go to sit at the table in front of us. So finally we've got some audience and they didn't run out directly. Unfortunately next up in the set was our most abrasive "song", basically 1,5 min of guitar noise over a steady bass riff and drums with a lot of shouting about what a great rock start Lenny Krevitz is called "Crackass". So after about 20 seconds of that they girls walk out as well. (In hindsight, we should've just skipped that song or played something in its place. So now we once again didn't have any audience, which is what happened to through the end of the show, where we did a bit of our trashing around with instruments for our enjoyment and that was that. So this was really the only time we have played for an entirely empty bar. We had played in front of just a couple of people, but this was the only time it was entirely empty. But to the owner's credit, he kept to our arrangements and paid us the agreed upon 150 euros. Which certainly is something I have seen other owners try to reneg on for whatever reason. --------------------- So yeah, you are right, it indeed is about the stories, that is what stays with you. And indeed the lows tend to end up being the most interesting stories. Be it the best paid show which was in front of an empty room; the time due to snow storms the drummer wasn't able to make it to the show and you played without him; the time after soundcheck in a professional venue that somebody ran up and completely turned down your guitar ruining the whole sound; playing in the streets and being shouted at to stop screaming; or any other weird thing, they do end up being fond memories. Now it's also good to have some good experiences in there, like the time we completely trashed the stage and I kind of apologetically went to the soundguy, telling him I'll replace any broken mics and him telling me to not bother, because it was great; being asked to do an encore and then forgetting that you put your guitar amp on stand by, so figuring the guitar broke from trashing around so just do an energetic encore with only bass, drums and vocals, finding out afterwards when you go to switch of the amp that its on stand by; ah good memories :) ------------------- So this turned out a bit longer than expected, but hope you enjoyed the story / stories :)
It is about pleasure as far as I am concerned. There was once the dream of greatness. It didn't survive my lack of... quality? Maybe. However it is like the process of growing older. You have to get over your good skin, abundance of hair. You have to give up being young in order to remain alive. After all, we either get old or die young. Gigs are good, bad, lousy... it isn't always satisfactory. One thing is, though. Having people to play with me. In the end, that has always been the best part. And still is. So, I will not change the world. So what? Success?? I don't get paid to have sex, and yet I keep doing it with enthusiasm. The same goes for having a band. Just having a band.
First time I went busking in London was a disaster. I had to argue with the other buskers of that spot to just sing there, it was raining and I made £1 pound. Keep going!
I quit music school at 25 vowing to never attempt to perform in public again. I wrote many songs recording them at home just for fun. When I was 30 I was recruited into a band we only played for free beer (that was the bands name Freebeer) since then I have quit music many times only to be recruited again and again to join bands that quickly fell apart so I returned to solo guitar and song writing to bid my time keep fingers and mind in the game.
To the young man (or woman) considering giving up. I will turn 46 in another 2 months. I don't want to say that I have been where you are, but I have been through lows where I wanted to give up altogether. It is so demoralizing to put in endless hours of practice, work, blood, sweat, and tears only to watch the whole thing fall apart... ...especially if the circumstances are completely out of your control. This has happened several times to me. Then there is the advice from friends and family. The worst is if your significant other is the one telling you should give up music and do something sensible with your life. If she tries to give me an ultimatum such as "it's either me or the guitar" my response is "my guitar doesn't have legs so I guess you should start walking". I have tried to give this up before but I can't do it. It is a part of me. Even during these times I was still playing my guitar at least 2 to 3 times a week. In my eyes that is abysmal, but for other people that is taking the instrument seriously. This video hit the nail on the head. Every time I have wanted to give up music it is because I feel like I have never received the pay off for all the hours I have put into this instrument. I have not reached my financial goals, never had fame and fortune, never got signed to record deal, etc. These are high expectations and I have fallen short at every turn. Whenever I reflect on that it makes me miserable. It is hard to find the balance. You don't want to put in all this effort for nothing. You want to be rewarded for your efforts. If you don't get those rewards it makes you miserable. You need to really think about what you expect to get out of this. Is there a feasible path to your goals? Are you willing to put in the work?
Well said. I'm 37, and am heading down your road. I've also had a real hard time with bands myself to the point it depresses me to look back on. Imo, just play in bands for fun. Don't take it seriously and try to really take it anywhere, because if you do, you'll only feel more disappointed.
I’m in a pop punk band : We were playing a show at a venue and we decided to play a cover of a Jonas brothers song. And before we got to the chorus the whole venue cleared out. - we didn’t sound bad- but I was playing bass and stand on the drum riser and when I turned around it was empty. Looking back we all laugh now. I found this video because I’ve thought about hanging it up and I like the advice you’ve given. Thank you.
My band keeps breaking but always comes back. We pretty much hate each other but we need each other to get to anywhere, within 2 years got from 5 songs unpaid gig to touring a little bit. Personally I love the journey only when it brings results, although I want to kill everyone sometimes.
last year i've been kicked out from 2 cover bands during a single month and both of this bands replaced me with same guitarist we're still making fun of it in my current band that if i screw up - they will invite him on my place)
I know this video is 5 years ago but it resonates today ….when I think back on my music journey….it’s been pretty sad without the people I started with__I was having more fun with my band mates and my boys then now ,doing it all alone. 2 year ago during Covid , me and my buddies got together and made some amazing music . That was a beautiful time but of course we grown and got jobs, my buddy is raising kids so life happens. I’m just a lonely musician in the corner with all this music saying ..LOOK AT ME…but nooones paying attention….I’m tired and getting old …maybe it’s time to finally be ready to hang it up….anybody that reads this ..please give me your honest opinion no matter how brutal……..thank you
Many moons ago I was in a band. We drove all the way from Bournemouth to Coventry to play in front of the support band and 2 of them went home! Not only that the car overheated on the way up. We always recall this gig but at the time totally soul destroying, it's all about the stories
Met these guys after they responded to my "drummer seeking bandmates" ad online. They sent me 3 of their demos and I practiced putting my drumming into the mix. We got together, went through the songs and they invited me to join them. We started weekly rehearsals together and soon added a fourth member to play bass. We have been together just over a year and have recorded an album, made a music video and played three shows together. Last week the lead singer/guitarist told us he had to catch up on student loans and upgrade his vehicle and would need to take time off from the band because he is going to take on a second job and won't have the time to commit to the band. That's where I am at. I told the other guys that we need to keep meeting and working on our music but so far, they haven't even responded to my messages. It seemed to be going really well but now I just don't know what to think or do. Any advice?
As an antisocial 17 year old, the best show I ever put up was at a classroom during a potluck for the end of the school year. Any other time I played, no one cared except for my friends. This time, everyone was having a blast and many girls snapchatted it. The teacher asked me to play for her other classes too.
I still chuckle to myself occasionally about a time on tour where the drummer from another band was spiking his mohawk backstage using a portable electric heater instead of a hair dryer, and his singer walked into the dressing room and says, "Hey man, be careful with that or you'll end up with a no-hawk!"
I remember watching the Anvil documentary, where those 50-year-old men still try to make it and record heavy metal albums, and thinking that's exactly what I want to be doing at that age - whether I "make it" or not, I do enjoy the journey and the music that much. My goal at this point is to just some recognition for my music (like, more than my friends and their friends). Plugging my band: Eluvian.
I quit music when I had kid aged 30. Stopped playing for a decade, but got lured back into a band on the understanding that we would write and record some material but no play gigs. Two years in, the guitarist suddenly said he wouldn't record unless we gigged first. I reluctantly agreed, but the guitarist was awful live and the two gigs we played were a farce. I've quit and I'm re-retiring.
I was a musician for a long time. Played in a lot of different bands. Just had a good opportunity that I took and promptly had to bow out of because of my s.o.'s insecurities. I was made to pick between one love or another. Now I am selling my gear. I told her she better damn well realise what I'm giving up on for her sake. I dont think she does, really.
I've been recently dishaeartened by the way the business is evolving. With streaming services it seems the artists and writers are not making much money. I recently got a check from Music Reports for two cents! My band had a gig last Tuesday night at a club we play 2 or 3 times a year. My heart was just not in it with all the setting up and trying to control the band and situation. We killed that night for three plus hours. The place was packed. The dance floor was full. The owner was so happy he even helped us packing out. With a smile on his face! I have never thought about quitting music (I have no other skills and do make my living at it in a wide variety of situations), but that night gave me renewed vigor about pursuing my music.
We were just rehearsing in the cellar for years and didn't have much goals. Then, we organized a small gig in a restaurant, invited our friends and got some great feedback. That encouraged us to record some songs (3) and two are now on Spotify, the third coming soon and we are in a much better situation to now get some gigs (still having trouble with that). Much more motivation in the band now!
11 months ago I had a stroke. Still managed to pull off a 5 hour solo acoustic gig the day after. 6 months ago I had heart surgery. I took a week off to recover before getting back to playing music. Now that i'm at a stage where i can look back and reflect on what happened, I no longer have the desire to play music. I have everything I need to write an album about this...but I don't want to. I still enjoy performing for people but not like i used to. Last time I took a hiatus from music it lasted 10 years. It's time for another one, I can feel it.
This is my story... I’ve been playing guitar since I was about 12 years old started writing my own music since 14-15 back then I was making/in punk/pop punk emo bands that were lucky if we survived after a demo or two, I was also in 2 hardcore bands (circa 2010 and on) they were the most prevalent parts of my music career, one I formed with friends in high school made a demo the other found me, my band was the opener for their cd release show and they only had one guitarist, him and the drummer offered me to come try out, and I had never been with a drummer or guitar player that clicked, like no talking or bs just 1,2,3 and riffs turned to songs in minutes...I was 18 at the time and even dropped out on the high that my new band might get signed, we did a small east coast tour placed third in a battle of the bands, but alas we fell off and the days of hardcore are long gone hardly any of those guys in either bands play at all anymore so I spent my entire 20’s discovering, understanding, and learning music theory, started mowing/landscaping to take a “music break” then I found progressive music and djent, as trivial those genres can be I’ve never thought I’d be able to play, tap, sweep or slap guitar the way I do now it made me push myself to every limit even worked on my singing, and can approach any bass or drum set with ease and innate sense of rhythm I grew up an only child and now being older I think I got two friends that really don’t care for music like this, my family reminds me constantly that not everyone likes “my music” including them... yet I can literally play anything I hear or read, it kills me cause I’m 30 now and I love playing making and learning music but I never thought it could feel so lonely, and honestly I just want to quit and be just a normal average person I just feel like maybe I’m missing out on something and just throwing my life away cause I have absolutely nothing to show for it other than a few pictures and some sub par 12-13 year old cringey demos
This makes so much sense. I think it is somewhat related to age or maturity. As teenagers/young adults we are dreaming about the goal - being rockstars or whatever else - but at later stage (how much later is obviously individual) we understand that it is not about the distant dream, but creating life as we live it. Being in the moment. I had a short lived band when I was about 18. We rehearsed for a couple of months and had one gig in front of like 20 persons. At the time I saw it as a failure. Because we split up and the songs we wrote were crap. But now I really like thinking about that band because that one gig was probably the most fun gig I have played. We improvised, we switched instruments, we were playing around without giving a crap that the output was horrible. We enjoyed it. We were laughing before, during and after. This video got me thinking about that speach Jim Carey gave about doing what you love. It was something along the lines of that you might fail at doing what you hate, so why not fail doing something you love instead...
Since 2017, the band that I was incredibly passionate about for 6 years folded. It was that band that encompassed everything. Before I was in the band, the circle of friends I met knew the lead singer and eventually I was called on to be their bass player. It was my first real break in the music scene around town. I have fond memories of it to this very day. Despite the highest of highs and lowest of lows, I look back at it with a smile. How was this band followed up? I joined another elite cover band in town, who all the sudden, fired me for no legitimate reason three months after joining. They way they broke the news to me was also very shady and unprofessional. I was still grieving the folding of the prior band and then that happened. I was determined. I did some sub in gigs to keep me in practice. Then in March 2018, I got a call from another working cover band in town to sub in. I got the gig pretty easily and have been on a solid schedule ever since. The guitar player and I even made a side project this year. However, the rigors of the current band's schedule have started to cause burnout here. Lots of longer distances driving between gigs. The wedding gigs have been abundant, yet the local gigs my friends can come see me has dwindled. While I'm not considering quitting altogether, I do feel like 1) I need a vacation from the rigors of solid gigging in the last decade and 2) A change of scenery musically. I don't know where the music is going to take me, but I know that the status quo no longer satisfies me musically. A former bandmate once told me "You have to sacrifice everything in order to make it in this town. You have to miss birthday parties, family gatherings and time with your friends. You have to always make your calendar available." Time is catching up to me, and I'm noticing more and more I'm missing out on life just for the next gig. So I need to switch gears...... PS: Your videos have been incredibly insightful for this veteran bass player. These advice videos though give me some added clarity. It's one thing to teach a musician how to play. It's another to shell out advice for the expectations this thing called music entails.
Everyone just wants to know how soon till fame cause to them that’s the illusion of musics stability when the stability is has and will always be in the mindset. Great video. Thanks.
My story is only just beginning.
Never ever ever ever ever give up your dreams. It will tear you apart.
Take a break and come back fighting. 😎❤️
I’ve been playing guitar for a long time, but my kids never really saw me play live. We played an outdoor party and my wife showed up with my two daughters. It’s was great to see the look on their faces. They were really surprised and had a great time! It’s a great memory for me.
Force yourself to quit for a month. If it sticks and you enjoy not being in it anymore it wont feel like you quit. But if it keeps showing itself to you again and again youll know. Live honestly, write boldly and accept gracefully.
My girlfriend is my biggest naysayer, she says I should be happy getting married and having kids. The dream will never happen so why even waste the time trying. She even told me to not post videos because it could embarrass her and if I keep posting, I obviously don't care about her feelings. I make music because I love it, I feel like with every song I get better, and honestly, for me, it's not about making it. I make music for me, to help me cope with life, and if other people like it that's awesome. I really can't stop even if the person closest to me tells me I need to, for her.
I think it is telling that the person asking the question is 27 years old. This period in life is tough for people with dreams. As you approach 30 it is pretty normal to feel that you need to grow up and do what everyone else does. Get a career, save for a house, pay into a pension, don’t die. Those that got on with it at 20 years old are ahead of the curve compared to you and they are everywhere. I was around that age when I realised that I wasn’t going to play football at a higher level than I’d already played. It was tough. I decided to give it up and not play again. I was at work one Monday morning not long after and speaking to a carpenter who was a bit older than me. He he asked what else I did and I told him that used to play football and blah blah blah. His response changed my view and I started playing again that weekend.
He told me that this was my trade. It was me. It was what I had spent my life working on. Why would I throw that away. Why wouldn’t I now relax and enjoy what I had learned and go back to playing without limits. Which is what I did. And I still play to this day 17 years later... And like all the England players since that day, I too have never won a World Cup.
A lot of famous musicians died at 27
got me good with that end bit lollll. thanks for sharing :)
You can quit a band, you can quit on a contract, but you can not quit music. If music is inside you, you need to keep making music or else you will be miserable. Even if you just play around the house, you can never fully give it up completely.
Also, 10 years is nothing, 27 is still young. I'll be 36 next week and I've been playing music for over 20 years. I may not have money, I may not have many fans, but this is who I am. I can't not do this. There's time when I don't do it as much or as often, but it's always there. The more I go off and do other things, the more I find myself thinking about music and wanting to work on music. My band is about to release our 4th album but I've already got the next 2 planned out in my head, not in great detail, I've not written the songs yet, but I have an idea of what the albums will be like.
As for funny stories from my music career, I was actually just telling this one elsewhere. It was the day that I realized that it probably wasn't going to work out with another band member. He'd spent all this money having this rehearsal room built in his backyard, sound proofed and everything. It was really cool. So I thought that this meant he was committed to his music. About 2 or 3 rehearsal sessions in to working at this new place, his football team happened to have a match on the same night. We were rehearsing and then he said "I'm just going to check the scores", so the rest of us carried on without him for a while. We didn't see him again for 3 hours. He got distracted, sat and watched the entire football match with a few drinks (and possibly some other substances). That version of the band fell apart soon after.
Haters block and make it highly miserable
Ohhhh no shit. Had a friend of mine who was in another band when I lived in the same city as him. I moved back to where I was from and he eventually left the band. Then he and I got to talking and did the whole "We should be in a band" thing. I moved all the way back across the country to do this. He had a studio setup in his house and he'd been playing since he was a little kid, so I thought he was serious.
Ho-ly SHIT was I wrong. Dude was like a wheelbarrow, I'd have to pick him up to try to move him forward in any way, yet when I'd think he finally had momentum, he'd just drop down and dig his heels in. Due to us having been friends, I gave him WAY more time than I should have. I'm pretty sure whatever anyone reading this is thinking, it was at least double that.
We never even put two notes together. Let alone jamming or anything else beyond that. I only saw him 8 times the entire time I was back in that city... Two of the times were back to back, not sure if that makes it better or worse, though. There was a point that despite being THAT guy in any circle of people who was always dating and going out with girls and such... I locked myself in my apartment for three months to focus on writing songs and such. This guy however, had zero time for any of that (Despite working the standard 40 hours a week) yet was always hitting me up about his dating woes.
Like one time, I was in between jobs for a couple weeks and he actually dropped on me "I feel like you're not understanding the time issue because you don't have a job." Fucking kidding me? Yea, let's totally ignore that when I had a job which was 9hrs/6 days a week AND going to school full time, I was STILL on his ass about it. Basically, there are guys who would rather SAY they're in a band than to actually be in one, regardless of how much they have. One should just do their best to not get sucked up in their jerkoffery.
Love this!! Am 31 and in the same mind frame, great advice, you can't quit music, I tried 😂😂 this year I said no music and still ended up gigging, writing and networking 😂😂 but during the process of actively "quiting" music i completely changed my expectations and now can't wait to get back on it 🎵🎶🚀💜💜
Good luck with the next couple albums matey and pop a link in here if you wana share your stuff 💜
Drop a link let me hear what u got
My advice is that if you're thinking of quitting, just quit. Get to know your instrument again and do something else, get into gardening, get some space and come back to it if you feel the pull.
My father-in-law is 72 and plays bass in 2 bands and he's happy as fuck. He's a rock star in his house and I'm a rock star in mine.
At 33, reflecting upon my “journey,” I observe that pursuing music has been less a fruitful artistic endeavor bringing humane engagement, and more a relentless quest for perfection. Every note and melody I’ve created, has been scrutinized with expectations of being ‘flawless’ - completely understandable, satisfactory, and acceptable to the listeners.
Whatever songs I wrote, musical performances I gave, or activities I engaged in, they went unheard and unappreciated. Any deviation from perfection, any hint of the unconventional in music, is not just overlooked but actively scorned. This relentless pursuit of musical perfection has left me questioning the very essence of my creative expression.
I’ve felt an increasing sense of isolation, not solely from engaging in music but from an unexplainable drift in my social connections. And the judgment surrounding any of my musical creations that dared to step outside the bounds of conventional perfection often made me feel as though I was the one at fault. It’s as though the music I create reflects a deeper flaw within myself.
The dissonance between my love for music and the crushing weight of societal expectations has been a source of deep disillusionment. I began to question if music was ever the right path for me in this context. It felt like navigating a minefield where each step was fraught with the risk of rejection and disdain, a constant battle against the tide of cultural norms that dictate what music should be.
Throughout this journey, I’ve continued to play and create out of my love for music, yet with a heart increasingly burdened by questions and doubts.
Age of 27🤣 lol
Im 37 and we started this band a year ago, im not gonna stop, I love this
I make guitar catchy licks......
Im also 37 and still playing lol
Don't let the flame die out!
Nicholas Rhamey I am 36. And I still play with myself, Nicholas. 😂
I played music on and off for ten years and only now at 34 I was able to fully focus and things started happening.
I once played in a Battle of the Bands competition with literally 0 people in the audience. :')
@Spanish Moustache Well that's a perfect way to turn it around! How nice!
I guess we also played in Battle of the Bands. You must be a pro or a genius to win there.
@@therevolution91 Yea I honestly thought it was very weird to compete in music !
That's a natural episode in gigging we all experience
rode three hours in the back of a mustang hatchback, next to a 2x15 bass cabinet to play for a bartender.
I'm a hip hop artist and rap/produce/mix my own stuff in my apartment. Did my first open mic at a place that was supposedly catering to rap for a night. It was a small hipster hole in the wall. In the audience I saw clients from my professional job, ironic because I wanted to keep my music career on the DL.
I did a few songs, 808s shaking this small venue. On top of that I'm in a foreign country and no one really understood the bars I was laying down. The energy felt so unrecipricated as I sweated and sacrificed my local reputation to people staring at me blank faced.
After, some guy got up and spoke dirty poetry about his past love. It was surreal but fun. Funny when I look back on it.
Thanks Damian, I've been releasing stuff for the past couple of years and been a bit frustrated, I think focusing on the journey and celebrating these moments not only brings us back to why we're doing it, but it also brings out our rawest forms to live our crazy dream just a little bit bitter and make better music and not gaf expectations from ourselves or others.
I played guitar in jazz ensemble back in college three years ago. The director was like the dude from Whip Lash. He was also a world class piano. I remember the security at the school saying, “you should watch the movie whip lash. The relationship between you and the professor is the same🤣 as the kid and his instructor in the movie.” 🥲good times. I’m a better musician because of it. Yeah
Hey Damian. Thank you for posting this video. My story is a little atypical then maybe what you’re used to getting as far as advice or questions go. I’m a very young at heart 42 year old Drummer who has played the original music game and is now in the cover band scene in the Philadelphia area where cover bands dominate. I’m signed to a major management company and they have us play amazing venues. Unfortunately, I feel that I’ve gotten lost when it comes to music being a priority or passion and it kind of feels like a job instead of bringing me joy and I’m having a hard time trying to figure out why that is. I do have to tell you that I have a full time job that pays my bills so I do not rely on music for money. I’m seriously contemplating quitting music in which I’ve played for over 30 years. Very upset about this and am looking for some help. Keep Up the great work. Love your channel - you rock dude 🤘🏻
I stepped away from music for...lots of years. I quit. I ran away to join the "normal life" circus.
Music tracked me down eventually and gave me such a beating that when I blew my nose, semen came out.
The coolest gig the band did was at a sky-diving gig. Those guys and girls were so high on adrenaline that as an audience they were phenomenal! When the gig was done and it was time to calm down, it got even more interesting.
A huge bonfire was made with wooden stumps that were as thick as the torso of a man and as tall. A norse-looking long-haired blond girl kept feeding them onto the fire. She was remarkably pretty in the face and incredibly strong and muscular in the body. Her nick-name was "Helga". Probably a little unkind but very fitting.
The skydivers (and the band) drank a drink I will never forget. It was called "Buffalo Juice". The recipe isn't fixed. The only constant is a 2 litre tub of vanilla ice-cream and a large bucket. Everyone brings a bottle of hard liquor. All bottles and the ice-cream are emptied into the large bucket and mixed until moderately fluid and then EVERYONE drinks until it's finished. The mixture was extremely palatable. The hang-over extremely horrible.
That night was the coldest night I've ever endured in a tent - middle of winter on an open, bare airfield.
The next morning the drummer was gone. He'd gotten too cold and took his girl and himself home.
On the way home our car broke down and we tried to fix the f***ed radiator with chewing gum.
A couple of rough blokes with a vehicle far too small for the engine it had towed us home at illegally high speeds.
We made huge losses on that gig but it was the best and most fun! That band has long been...erm...disbanded.
Fun times.
If you are passionate about music then keep doing it. If you are not passionate, or if your interests have changed then quit. It does not have to be permanent either. Quit music for one year and see if you miss it. 27 is very young. Sheryl Crowe broke with "All You Wanna Do" when she was 32 years old.
I started in the music industry when I popped out of my piano playing mother's womb in 1958 whilst my drummer father was panicking, as all fathers do ;) On my first birthday, my father gave me a drum and a pair of sticks, in the hope that I would become a drummer (I kind of did). At age 4 my grandmother tried to teach me the piano (as she'd forced my mother to learn) but I could never get past the basics. A couple of years later my grandparents took a holiday in Spain and came back with a Spanish acoustic guitar which changed my life! At age 12 I joined my first band and at 14 I had my first professional gig! That was it! I was on my way to fame and fortune!!! ;) Then... more gigs... and more years... and more gigs.. and more years... etc! Hmmm... At some point (I think in my late 20s) I wondered if I was ever going to "make it"! I kept going, and going, and going, and somewhere in my 40s I realised something... I AM successful! I'm writing songs and playing music and getting better at it every day! This IS my life!!! I''m now 60! Should I quit because "blah, blah, blah,"??? I've been doing this stuff ALL my life and will NEVER stop! Time for me to quit? FUCK OFF!!!
Ruiseart Alcorn FUCKING AWESOME..... respect ✊😊 x
I read: you came out of piano, playing our mothers womb🤣
@@eerokkitube Errr... no, not really ;)
I ve released 2 singles this year as a 47 year old male. They don t make me any money and i don t expect them to. Back in the days when i was 27-35 i was eager on getting my band on the road. But bands are often very unstable units and the ones you see succeed are often just made up of 2 musical geniuses carrying the rest along.
Think about it. Not even big bands can really have ' success' . Every one of their songs and albums is just a temporary high and all of them are afraid to ..fail. Just like any ' start-up musician' aiming for succes. So yes, enjoy the journey . Coz it s all yours.
On point Damien... Thanks ! I "quit" 20+ years ago to have and raise a family. It was the most painful decision to make, but I don't regret it at all as I have years of beatiful memories with my wife, 4 kids. Now that the kids are starting their independent lives I've been able to press play again, and have realized that "quitting" was an amazing thing, for now at the age of 50 I have so much more to bring to my music, and I know this go around, the dream of creating music and making a living will be happening. Thanks Sir!
My story is almost identical to yours! Now I am in 3 bands
Once, while we’re playing an intoxicating homeless grabs the mic and starts singing Clint Eastwood, I didn’t knew what to do so I started playing the song and my band mates followed. We played like a minute until the security from the gig take him out the stage. The funniest thing is that he knew the all rap part and the crowd kinda like it.
Thanks for featuring our song New York Skyline in this vid Damo, much love x
Nice logo
Everyone, who really makes music cannot do otherwise. Point is, to survive while you go on. And that mean,- in order to continue making music one should become independent from income from music-making. Fame or money can come , or not. Moral satisfaction is best achievement .
When I was 30 I was in a similar position, I'd pushed myself to record an album and worked on it for a few years, when things didn't take off I was left wondering whether that was it for me with music, but I took a break from it and discovered that even though I was no longer fixated on making a career out of it I couldn't let go of music because it was my primary creative outlet and without somewhere to put my creativity I turned that energy inward and became self-destructive... long story short I now make music as my hobby - I have no expectations at all from it and I'm enjoying it more than ever before, and that was down to doing it purely as a form of self-expression, experimentation and creativity and not as a potential source of income.
Great video Damian. One story for me is recording my first EP using a bed mattress as sound proofing. I was renting in a 2 bed house so used to drag this heavy mattress from one bedroom to the other, prop it up vertically and pray that it didn't fall on me lol. It's only a little thing, but needless to say, I don't use a bed mattress any more for recording!
I think part of the problem is social and online media means there's so much visibility of other people's successes. Naturally as musicians, we all want that success, so we set that as our end goal. But then it's easy to forget how hard they have worked to get to that position so get grumpy when we're not achieving those goals in a short amount of time.
For me, I've found comfort in genuinely enjoying what I do, choosing to not do things I don't want to and being myself throughout the process :)
Man there’s no way you can know how much I appreciate this video. I have been very destination-obsessed for years and it’s very hard for me to have fun because chasing it has taken over my whole existence. I love every second of it but I’m not able to enjoy much in life if I’m not working on a project or doing some part of my plan to “get there.” It’s a rough life and I’m still seeking a way to relax a little along the way.
Man! To the guy who wrote that:
I was at a crossroads in college after landing on academic probation about whether to dropout and pursue music or put it on the back-burner and finish school. I chose to finish school & I’ve got the debt to show for it. It was a challenge dragging myself out of bed everyday for something I wasn’t passionate about. But at some point, I met some cool ppl. Developed my identity outside of just being a musician and made some priceless memories, experiences & relationship. I never stopped making music altogether. I just wasn’t pressed about pursuing a career. I was able to grow as a musician w/o the pressure of “making it”. Became better at producing & mixing (I started out just rapping). Once I graduated I realized I had the skillset to make my own music and when I dig deep, I knew my passion for making art that moves ppl was powerful enough to pull me thru any obstacles I might face along the way. I’m in the phase that’s supposed to be “not-so glamorous” but I tell you those relationships & memories I made carry me thru. Those ppl support me & think back to the times we had. That on top of my talent draws ppl in & allows me to effect in ways others can’t. I challenge you to enjoy the journey bc honestly, it’s all we’ve got! And there will always be one. I’m 26 btw! So I understand that approaching 30 pressure. Enjoy the process. Think of ways to build a personal brand around your personality and let the music be the cherry on top. If ppl like you, if u make them feel valuable. If u journey thru life with them, they’ll support most anything positive u do with your life. Much love, I hope it helps!
Spanish Moustache that’s real too. Time management & manageable goals
agree with poster below , 27?! ha ha. Not old enough to write a blues song. Damian, I found out long ago that the only way to enjoy music is to NOT have the financial pressure, even though i would love nothing more than waking up, staying home, making music and digging through old tapes. I do it in increments, and try to create more time for it. It may not be the same for everyone.
Okay Grasshoppers....... I’m 70 moving on to 71 and done many things outside of music......but the music has always been there in one form or another.....and you can’t escape it.....so you could say don’t try to.
Other experiences enrich you in one way or another and that’s a good thing......and yes as a young guy you need to earn a living but think of it as a game.
You may look for fame an fortune but that can bring a lot of grief very often
Return to what you love and just keep baking cakes till you find a good recipe you like.
An untamed or unwise Ego is a killer and ruined many a potential good band.
Musical manners are very important and a number of players don’t have them.
Don’t let your ego let you down.,. Mature over time like a fine wine ...... it will bring deep satisfaction.
Here I am starting to write and record in GarageBand and it’s just great to be able to do something on your own with out all the niggles.
A good way to assemble material and then if inclined get players together.
Don’t waste time with the naysayers.
I still go out and have a chant with a live band from time to time.
Be independent which leads to strength.
If you need a break take one and meditate.
Amusing story... the roady had loaded up the van but we couldn’t go cause he couldn’t find the keys.....
We looked everywhere... in the end we unpacked all the gear again and there were the keys......
I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
Once again a great message to consider. I don't really have a chuckling story, but I find it funny, over the last six months any time I said I was quitting, I wrote a new song lol. It really is about the journey. I love to write so that's what I do. I think most musicians aspire to be famous, not a bad thing, but what is famous? Play, write, follow your heart the destination may not be exactly what was thought up...🍻😀 cheers bud
Was like the 5th gig 15 yrs ago, drove for about 2 hours in a van to play in a bar close to the beach, we were the first band to play and the place was crowded! Like 30 people ha! Started playing, everyone banging heads, then pum! A broken string! I was so nervous I could not finish the set, so we skipped until the end to keep playing, everyone was gone, a couple of guys came by at the end to cheer us up. We were hungry, no money, but like 3 pieces of cheese in an empty freezer, drove back and the van broke up 😆 the alternator stoped working, we were in the middle of nowhere in the night, no lights, well actually! Dimmed lights, we were driving very slow, a family vehicle passed us by, they had mallets on the top, so we followed them cause their back lights were the only source of light we had that night. We could barely see them far away stoping, we were driving like at 15 miles per hour and could barely see a meter away, did not noticed when suddenly a big mallet laying on the ground! We stepped over it and a bunch of clothes went flying around! The family vehicle was backing up to pick their stuff up, so we decided to drove even slower to help them, but then our van definitely broke down!! We had to park under a bridge for the rest of the night, the family vehicle passed by but did not stop to help us, and we ended up eating american cheese for dinner until help arrived in the morning! It was fun 😆!
That sound like a night to remember! I would do anything to have another gig
Every time I see one of my students drinking la croix I tell this story: My band invited a solo artist on our second tour. We were touring in my 2014 ford focus and the tour was only a weekender so we decided to pack light. Each member of my band brought a bag and an instrument (I literally only brought a snare,) and a tiny mech bin. We pulled up to a solo artist's house and they come out with their instrument, a GIANT pedal board and merch bin, two full backpacks, a bunch of bananas, a box of cliff bars, and a whole case of COCONUT LA CROIX. It was very cramped and miserable and the solo artist didn't shut up whenever we were in the car and bitched about every show we played. I am glad that I got to share this trainwreck of a tour with my two best friends and hope that I never tour with anyone like that again. Thanks for this video Damo. It helps a lot of us out.
Once our kickdrum pedal broke down mid gig... and who the hell carries a spare for a kickdrum pedal?! We were a dance act so the kick was sort of a big issue, at the end I ended up trying to slap the kick pattern on my hollowbody bass for the rest of the gig, while singing. That is the day I found out I absolutely suck at improvised multitasking.
Music Producer here. I don't really work a lot with different people but about a year ago, I got a bit more serious about music. While searching through some Instagram posts to look for good hashtags, I randomly came over the #collab. I liked the video and because of that hashtag I just randomly asked if the person wanted to collab with me. Was incredibly nice and I got closer to her through that. Turns out she was suicidal and I basically "saved" her from killing herself about 5 weeks after we first wrote with each other. We made a ton of different stuff together, barely put out anything but we both greatly improved (especially I improved because she's been making that for like 6 years longer than me). I was able to help her a lot, she's basically my mentor by now and though she is still depressed due to a ton of facts that I don't all wanna write down here, I was able to help her a lot with life in general.
Sorry not too funny or so but there isn't too much funny stuff I had whilst creating music. Production always feels super great though, it's not comparable to anything else.
Amazing!!!
I've started when I was 12. I've had a gig or two, all unexpectedly acclaimed and people talk about them to this day, but... Usually after THAT gig, I guess because of all the hard work and accumulated negativity, every band would just split up. Then I've started buying equipment to build a studio, my lifelong dream.
My partner quit with a bang after his brother killed himself, I got a brain tumor and went to work abroad. I have been kicked out of every place my studio was in. I never got to record one complete song in these 29 years of trying. I am sick as hell, now, working in a shitty hotel in the Alps just to survive, while my equipment lies in storage. Who knows how long I still have to live. Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY tells me to quit already and sell everything. I will NEVER quit!!!!
Born to lose, lived to win, died to discover!!!
I played a friends birthday party once.
By the end of the gig, the only thing I was wearing was my guitar.
I also did not know that the drummer was live streaming.
Good times
😂👊👊😂😂
Haha, that Poland journey got me.
Based in Austria we used to record in London, so i drove my Landrover from Vienna to London and back twice a year for 3 ys, loaded with guitars and amps and little pills to be able to drive that way non-stop.
When we finally got a headline gig at the marquee club, our singer got jailed at the border the day before and then on stage two vintage tube amps went up in smoke. That was '87.
I'm 58 now and never got rich but will only stop making music when death gets me.
Thought I had a bit of flu the morning of a gig we were supposed to play in a city 6 hours away. Refused to cancel it because I'm super insecure about being percieved as a flaky musician avoiding a real job. Played my set almost falling over between songs and sleept during the headliner's set. The next morning I was delerious in hospital with septic shock. Got pretty harrowing at the time but now it's my manager's go-to story to flex about my dedication. stoked as.
I tried 2 to “make it” with two different bands between 18-28 years of age. Towards the end of that phase I was burnt out, so I went to school and got a degree in computer science. While in school I started playing in a Latin cover band. That led to paid gigs at weddings and such. Started loving playing music again. I am now 37 and recently joined a band that plays folk and rock. They have their s@&t together. A studio, RV for traveling. We play mostly original songs and some covers. Things are looking really good. My university degree has also paid off and I’m no longer strapped for cash. Now I’m able to do music again because I love it. I’m even starting o dream of “making it” big again, lol. My advice is “never quit” but change your approach instead if it doesn’t feel right. As long as you continue playing you will continue to get better as a musician and opportunities will continue to knock at your door. Thanks for the videos btw, very much appreciate the content.
Hi mate, I am about to turn 31 and i'm in virtually the same position. Been playing since the age of 7.. Since turning 30 I have suddenly got this panicky feeling like (it actually might not happen the way i imagined). I write and produce my own songs and am at the stage where i am the best Ive ever been. However I have literally put my whole life into this and I have not got much to show for it other than some savings, some musical talent and a few followers. I have friends who are now on 6 figures and are giants in the corporate ladder and I'm still just plodding along with no experience in the (work world). So as I result I have just applied for a Data Science masters. I have not decided whether or not to do it yet as I keep zigzagging between what I should do (classic heart vs head). Literally never felt so lost. Did you ever regret moving into that job world? And did you enjoy it?
I was at a cross road about this same subject. My band broke up back in February after our final 3 day tour. I recently joined a cover band but decided to walk away because I lost the fun from my previous band.
So I decided to take a couple of months off from music only to some how have the courage to try again and try again I have so now I’m starting over in a new band which has uplifted me from this rut I was in a couple of months ago. No matter how many times I tried to move past music I need it in my life. This vid actually really helped
Played a tiny basement gig a couple years back. It was all solo acoustic acts, then my four-piece band came on. They gave our drummer a little toy kit and the kick drum kept bashing the back of my leg, had to twist my body at an insane angle to sing as the mic was feeding back in pretty much any other position. No sound engineer either!
U sure know what ur talking about u can tell ur lived and experienced it, much love man needed to hear this so wise
I never made more money than enough to cover my expenses, but I loved gigging. Then I got a demanding job, met a new partner, settled down had a daughter, bought a house. 23 years without playing a gig.
In April I played live again and it was amazing.
After years of being *scared* of forming a band in case it was shit/I was shit/it didn't work out, at 26 I decided to finally do it. After about 18 months, I was in my first band, playing songs that I had mostly hoarded over the years. Last December, we entered a local Battle Of The Bands competition for experience. We won it. They were our first three gigs. The end.
Our band just formed a year and a half ago and we are 24-27!
As for our story, we played our first festival last summer thinking it was going to be a proper stage. It was a tiny little platform behind some bushes, and the main area was on the other side. It was 35C that day and flies and mosquitoes were landing all over our arms and faces. We were also in a rush to get there so our guitarist was eating hot toast with peanut butter on the way. The peanut butter melted and dripped all over his light blue pants 😂 Such an awful day but we played so well and had lots of fun.
At a BIMM ;) sheperds bush performance, Trying to climb over the barrier with guitar in hand , instead, ended up swivelling on the barrier and falling ass first to the metal flooring of said barrier, and no choice but to get on and moooove eeeet and keep that performance going!
The placement of that jazz bass is making me tense.
Sir Blue Footed Booby completely agree.
I’ve been pondering this question for a while. I’m so glad that you’ve made a video on this subject.
Before I was a musician I was a pitchman working Costco and I would sing between pitches for passers bys. Once in a while someone would say "don't quit your day job!" I'd smile and say "this is my day job!!" 🕺😃 Cheers Damo! 🐒
Once at a performance I went to sit down and missed the chair completely, ended up falling over and swearing really loudly into the microphone right when there was a moment of silence.. that was a yikes. Another time I totally forgot to bring my microphone to a gig and 10 minutes before I had to start I went to a friends house to borrow hers. I wasn’t late and it worked out in the end 😅 love those little memories
I was part of a 70 person orchestra and it was fun sometimes but we waited alot after other instrument sections because they were fixing stuff. So my friends and I would make jokes and have a good time even though we were waiting. I look back at those memories and think that we were disturbing but it doesn't matter now.
impeccable advice!
I’ve seen hundreds of your videos Damo and this is my favourite! This did feel very considered and thoughtful.
Your top three factors that hold most musicians back are pretty much my top three as well!
I love my journey although it’s not always plain sailing. Over the last three years since I decided to go for it I’ve achieved a lot in my opinion especially as I don’t do it for a living.
I think I’ve changed my expectations now. My goal is to be a full time musician which I still think would be incredible. I’ll keep pushing my music as much as I can but I’ve learned a lot along the way in terms of what is realistic with no budget.
Ok, a funny story...I played a gig (paid) on the same night as an England match. The landlord wasn’t a football fan but put the game on the big screens above the stage I was on! Nobody was listening to me, it was really awkward but I still got paid and England won 😆⚽️
Playing jazz to the drunkest audience in hong kong!
Thank you. Another video helping me sort out my headspace. 27, blimey... That feels like a long time ago for me. :)
Cheers for all the video's Damo, they give us a much need wisdom and sight into a sometimes confusing industry.....
Anyways i thought i would share a memory.
Back in my Early 20's i was in a touring band called The Swamp Stompers over in Australia. We where on this tour in Western Australia, after a big night in which we where court via surprise from the sunrise, rather tattered drunk so we where.
We showered we assembled over bacon and eggs, staring upon 3 straws shadowed via one van one imminent lunch time show.
That show having followed a 4 hours of blistering sun with no air con, van trip stacked along the front like a pack of smokes....
Rough day was had but a great story and experience gained, wouldnt change it for the world.
This is such valuable advice Damian! Most of us would be so much happier if we lived for the Journey instead of the Destination. The truth is the Destination is the end of the line. We're all headed for the same end. We might as well enjoy the work and the walk.
I had an experience on tour a while back in a small town in Tennessee. I booked the gig well in advance. When I got there the bar owner had completely forgotten that he booked me. But he honored the agreement. As I was setting up my equipment a police officer walked in and began talking to me--Mostly small talk--weather, music & such.
When the officer left, the owner accused of being a spy for the police. I assured him it was a coincidence. I began to wonder what the guy was worried about hiding from the police.
I was under scrutiny from a rough-looking crowd from the start--I was convinced there was some kind of illegal activity happening there. No worries, I cut my teeth performing in some of the roughest clubs. I had dealt with tough crowds before. The best bet is to engage them right away. A little bit of humor goes along way. I had no problem pointing out how rough these people looked. They seemed happy that I noticed. Before long I had them eating out of my hand. It turned out to be a great night, and I have an open invite to play there whenever I'm back in town.
It was touch and go from the beginning, but it turned out ok--and it's a good memory for me now.
I used to be in a local contemporary jazz fusion hip hop band and we were playing at this beautiful local location out doors with the view of the river and the city behind us and we started playing just as the sun past the horizon so we had beautiful sunset lighting and mood lighting all around the area and we were playing a piece we wrote that was inspired by the tv show Hey Arnold and whenever we’d really just feel it vibe we just all kinda get in a world where we all have our stank faces on......that is until I played The Office theme and everyone broke laughing, then our guitarist turned his solo into the national anthem and our jazz concert became a patriotic moment for a second 😂
Two years ago, I was 16 and mas a drummer for a metal band. My first (and only until now) gig was at a bar in a near town, whose owner was somehow close to our vocalist. I asked about the condition of the drums and they said they had everything there, so didn't bother to bring my stuff (except sticks). But when I got there, the drum kit was SO screwed. I wont mention much about the quality of the equipment, but what surprised me is that they managed to use the stool as the support for the snare, and where I actually sat on the gig was in a bar stool that didin't helped at all in my drum techniques. And since it we where playing metal, it was so hard to keep the music going on. BUT INCREDIBLY THIS ISN'T THE END. We also had no return, so I couldn't hear a damn thing that my bandmates were playing. When we were playing the first song (which was Battery from Metallica) a guard showed and ordered to stop the show (and I am thankfull for that, since I didn't even knew what we were playing lol). We stopped for like, 20 minutes, and our vocalist discovered that the bar actually had two owners who had argued, and one of them was trying to boicot the event. Once we got to play, the owner of the equipment had to leave. Who saved us was my mom, who discussed a lot with the dude and we got to play one of our own songs, which was called Weekend. Fortunately there where some drunk old guys moshing that kinda lifted our spirits. Anyway, I remember of this thay as a good thing. It is kinda fun to complain about that drum kit hahaha
Well hi everyone! I love this man damian! You are a light for me. I'm one of those man that knows success! I'm not rich, or even known in my town. But i know im succesfull becouse i can have my guitar and create music that i like. I had bands and gigs and now i'm alone. I have luky if my friend(she's a mom, and married whith a friend of mine) jump in the drums and make some noise, but i'll never think in quit music, becouse like damian said that whould be a great story for me to tell.
Thanks a lot for the video!
And don't quit! World need musicans! 😊
Hey Damo! Great advice, its refreshing to watch someone who could have used this question to make a shallow pep talk video! I am 29 and started doing my own music this year after my previous band broke up. Never even considered to quit, I think that the fact that I didn´t is the answer to the question itself. GReetings from Argentina! Keep those videos coming!
I started recording music about a year ago and found my passion in it, I love experimenting with vocals and experimenting with new sounds etc.. me and my friend released a tape and put it out on Spotify and took it down after 8 months just because we enjoyed it for that 8 month period, anyways we’re both working on music at the moment and we love it... as exhausting as it gets at times we still love it and will always keep on going with creating music regardless of the outcome... having 1+ person listen to our music and genuinely enjoy is a blessing and that’s all we ever ask for.. just wanted to share this! Loved the video :)
Hey damian, thank you so much for all your knowledge, I love your channel!!! I see myself in your videos and it totally clicks with me. Good work man!
It took me 20 years to realize that I was wrong with my approach and it didn't worked out as I thought it would. But after another disappointing band split, I think it was the 6th or 7th time, I was giving up on my believes and knew that I needed to find another way of making music, my own path. I needed stop depending on the other band members so much (I'm a singer without playing an instrument) and get rid off this high expectations and lower the pressure on myself. Oh, and I also needed to learn to get my ego in check...ego problems are the main band problems in my opinion. I started to work with a vocal coach via skype and started to focus more on my instrument and my skills. By the way, it really took 20years to find the right teacher for me, but I was not ready for someone before. That I know for sure. That also was the point were I started to walk again, started to fall in love with the path and stoped dreaming of an uncertain future. This dream of being a touring musician is still in my heart but for now I just want to get better, really good and keep building my music career but without so much stress in my head. I know I will sing till the end of my days...anyway. I'm not complaining. I know what I'm doing wrong but thanks to you and others I know now how to make it better...even right. :) keep up the good work, we need you! much love from the alps, flo
ps: looking forward to your new book! :)
Despite having played guitar for almost 7 years as of a few days ago (although August 1st marks the 7th anniversary of me buying my first guitar. I borrowed one for two weeks to try it out before buying one), I have actually not played in a band as such yet. The closest things I've gotten is auditioning for some bands a few times, last time being in 2015, after which I decided to just focus my attention on being a solo-artist for now, and at some point join some of my favorite artists' bands as a touring guitarist for those.
The most exciting story I have to tell, though, would have to be a month ago, when I went to see a Dark Country band that I really like (even though I currently play rock/metal covers, and write instrumental music heavily inspired by styles as diverse as Classical, 80's Rock, Japanese Pop and Traditional Japanese Folk music), I was the only person standing closer to the stage than the sound guy was. For reference, the sound-guy was about 30 meters from the stage, I was standing right in front of it, and everyone else was sitting on the grass further away. Kind of disappointing audience, but hey, I enjoyed it. At the end of the concert, they played their typical show-stopper, which also happens to be one of my favorite songs, and as always when they do that, I stood there, playing along to the song on air guitar. Because why not? So during the last part of the song, their lead-singer/rhythm guitarist took his guitar off his shoulders and handed it to me, so I could actually get to play along to the song on an actual wooden guitar. I actually thought I would have been more nervous than I was, though, but it was awesome to get to join one of my favorite bands on one of my favorite songs. There's a picture of me playing that song over on my grossly underutilized instagram-page (or right here: instagram.com/p/BzF1mMrHoRY/ ) for proof.
I'm sure that at some point, I'll have more interesting stories to tell, as I get to the point where I have enough original music down and start playing gigs, but for now, this is about as exciting as it gets from me.
I thought about the question, 'Where does the pressure come from?' I think some of the pressure for me comes from people like you saying that I need to market differently, create lots of non-music content, sell a brand or a community instead of the music, etc. It is when I think about and attempt those tasks that I lose the joy of making music. One book made the point that recorded music is just an advertisement for the live show, which is where the actual money is made. I've always preferred recorded music to live shows, that's what I fall in love with, and that's what I aspire to do well. I spent quite a lot of time changing my process to be live show oriented and it burned me out bad. I get the impression that I have to change my creative focus entirely in order to gain an audience and build a career. That is what depresses me.
I don't mean any of this as an insult to you because you do seem to know what you are talking about. It's really me who is too limited to act on these insights, to give the audience what they want.
Kris Cadwell I don’t have any answers for you, but I just wanted to say that I feel completely the same way sometimes. I guess the answer is do the bits you love. As for marketing; I heard a great quote about making content “don’t create, document”. Think more like a documentary filmmaker rather than a content creator. Anyway, just wanted to say that I agree, and it was cool to read that I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. All the best, CN
A story from many years ago. 5-piece rock’n’roll band called The SABREJETS. Arrive at working men’s club in the North East of England, go onstage. The concert chairman announces, “Ladiesangemmun! Put your hands together for a crackin’ band - THE SUFFRAGETTES!”
I was about 29 when that happened. I’m 73 next month, still gigging & recording, still loving it & still learning; these videos are an inspiration...
Worst moment of my music career.
I step onstage at The Gingerman in Dallas, Texas. It’s Blues night. The whole bar is shoulder to shoulder packed with the best blues players in all of Dallas.
-I’m alright, but they call me up yo play with these guys from Brazil.
“Bb minor,” one calls out. At something like 180bpm they count down, “1 2 3 ...” and begin shredding blues scales like Malmsteen was listening or something.
-I take deep breaths and focus on finding the tonic as a blizzard tunnel collapses across my vision. I wake up with a circle of faces hovering over me. “How much did he have to drink?” The host asks my best friend, Luke. Luke shrugs, “He hasn’t had anything yet.”
A year later my friend Luke confides, “I’ve gone and played so many stages and open mics this past year.”
“That’s great, man, what changed?”
He laughs, “After seeing you pass out at The Gingerman, I felt inspired.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I thought, what’s the worst that can happen? Can’t be worse than you, Beau. You’ve literally done it, and you’re fucking fine!”
Thanks Damian.
Enjoy your channel!
My story: A single father, I set aside my dreams to be a musician for a couple decades. In my mid-forties, I said it's now or never and went all in. Now 9 years later, I've played over 2000 shows across Canada. I merged my two paths, as a musician, and my former career, a manager in the retirement industry, now Canada's busiest care home entertainer. I perform for the seniors as 'Jimmy's Old Time Radio Show' while working my original material as 'Skarni'.
Just released my 4th studio record, 3 or originals now, 1 of classic covers. The care homes have embraced me, so my focus is there, 300 + shows a year. Not getting rich, but getting enriched. Wrote a book about entertaining seniors, awaiting a publisher. Applied to do a Ted Talk. Have several more records material to record. More material than time or money.
At 53, without a retirement plan, I question myself, go back to the 'real world'? Again, it's now or never. I'm getting by, I'm surviving, but on the edge. Working, working, working, always new content, relentless networking, every day, 24/7, focused. Start my 8th major tour in two weeks, 35 shows across the Maritimes, all care homes but for one.
What to do? I'd appreciate your thoughts. Search Skarni and Jimmy's Old Time Radio Show on Facebook and RUclips to learn more.
Cheers.
Montreal Quebecer around 23-24 years old, i joint a band to play bass guitar. called 4Nocs. A year before, my heavy metal rock band (wich i've started ) kick me out because i was too deep in my studies, and not enought on my guitar... Yeah, with college they were right. But switching to this pop rock ballad band lit a spark in my head, to play music live. At that point, i was happy being a bass player in a original band, but i needed more! I didnt want to spent hours and hours polishing song on a computer every night and jams, i had the urge to play live shows! So i quit the band i was now playing bass in... a couple of month later, i unrolled in a TV series, guest what they needed bass player so much. And this started a journey identifying myself as a musician but a composer as well. Me and 3 other dudes won the Tv show, even if we didnt knew each other. the band is called Delta20, check it out. Then we decided to get an appartment and live together. And 2 years later we release our first album, and being signed with a label in 2011. I was 27 at that time... Now i'm writing songs, and i'm polishing them in front of a computer because i'm a dad now ;) Its funny how things change in time. But this journey help me forged who I am today. Maybe someday i'll play with other dudes or dudettes new songs. Who knows ;)
We stayed at one of our vocalist's parents' house for a super chill weekend and recorded an EP, great vegan food and singing at a fireplace inclusive. It was truly a wonderul experience. Your video is spot on for me. I've been thinking about taking a break because I've started less to enjoy the journey, putting too much pressure on myself and thinking about the goal, at the same time having to work very long hours for my job. It might be time for a break.
2:27 what makes my life better
5:53 what for yoou doing this. For destination? Or for the stories?
When I was 18-21 I was in a band with some friends of mine called Hotel Zulu. There were 5 of us spread over three cars. On the way to a gig at The Pavillion in Leicester, I was the drummer's passenger behind our bass player's car. Our bass player in his wisdom turned into a car park that he shouldn't have but instead of going around the car park to carry on in the direction of the venue, he found his own very special shortcut. Only he underestimated the difference in height of concrete below him and completely bottomed out! He then continued to scrape the entire bottom of his car along the pavement. Many of his cables came loose and also got an oil leak for which we had to call the RAC half way through the gig. To this day, it's possibly the funniest thing anyone has ever done in their car that I've seen! 😂😂😂
i'm 24 ive been playing music (guitar,bass,drums) since i was 10, i absolutely live for music,i've been in and out of bands over the past few years and ive had alot of ups and downs but i somehow get up and keep trucking. the demo-graph of people change i found the older i got and more people began to just do it for a hobby. I think if you just keep your head up and stay focused,it'll come in time. BTW check out my band Cain alley!!! hahaha
Nicely done dude, checked out a few tracks, sounding good! Like the riff in bridges, you guys have like a 90s grungey vibe with some fresh feels, keep it up! 💜
Hi Damian, thanks for this video, very thought provoking. I’m certainly guilty of focusing on a goal rather than enjoying the journey, even though I know contentment comes from being present in the moment and enjoying the journey.
A gig story I think about a lot is playing at a slightly rough pub in Walsall. The usual band line up had a violin player added for that night. As an opening act and for a bit of a change we arranged for the violin player to do a duo set with the drummer (on guitar and singing) but just as they were about to start a stag do came into the pub. They were pretty full on so we had a quick change of plan and played all the loudest full band songs we had instead. At various points cued by some secret code word all the stags would fall on the floor and roll about with their legs in the air. Luckily just as we were running out of heavy songs they bid us farewell and moved on to another pub. For a while it felt like we were gonna have a disaster but getting that group of stags to enjoy our stuff felt like a big achievement and whenever a gig is shaping up to be a challenge I remember that.
Oh, here's a story that I love to tell nowadays, it's about MySon's best paid gig.
Now that sounds like a complete success, but I'd argue it's far from it, this was this show at Café Joris in Tilburg on the 23rd of May 2009: www.mysonband.com/show/23-may-2009/
First things first, to put it into perspective, best paid was 150 euros, so certainly nothing major, but considering we mostly played for drinks, maybe some food and if we were lucky gas money, it paid rather well.
Anyway, this was set up by a guy we had met at some concerts at other bands and we had some nice conversations with. He liked what we were doing, when he was asked by Café Joris to handle the programming of music, as they hadn't really had any live bands before. So he asked if we wanted to play and because we were up to play anywhere, anytime, we of course agreed. We'd start at 22:00 and play for an hour.
So we arrive at the bar on the evening of our gig and Guus Meeuwis is playing on the PA, followed by more of these popular Dutch singers, etc. Now, MySon's a noise punk band, so there already is quite a disconnect there. As we start unpacking on the stage, the owner comes over to us and tells us that he would like us to start at 21:00 as the hockey girls had just become champions and were coming over to celebrate in his bar, and he wanted us done by the time they arrived. So disconnect number 2 right there, by this point, we know we are certainly in the wrong place for us.
But hey, we were up for playing wherever, so we'd go ahead with it, and I don't think we really minded having to start and hour early. Especially because the inside of the bar was deserted, only the staff came walking through every now and then to go to the terrace, which did have a decent number of people. But they all appeared to be much old and very much not the type of people who would be into our music and probably just wanted to sit on the terrace and relax a bit.
So 21:00 comes around and we start playing... for nobody... but hey, let's just take this as a public rehearsal. Now it was hard to summon the energy, etc. but let's just go for it and see where we end up, right? So I thing about halfway through our first song, we all of a sudden hear a loud bang. This was the door to the terrace being thrown shut by somebody on the terrace, who was obviously enjoying our sweet melodies...
Anyway, we continue on, we did decide to cut the set short, especially because the owner already told us we should be done before the hockey girls arrive, so whatever. Now about 3/4 through our set, some hockey girls do arrive and go to sit at the table in front of us. So finally we've got some audience and they didn't run out directly. Unfortunately next up in the set was our most abrasive "song", basically 1,5 min of guitar noise over a steady bass riff and drums with a lot of shouting about what a great rock start Lenny Krevitz is called "Crackass". So after about 20 seconds of that they girls walk out as well. (In hindsight, we should've just skipped that song or played something in its place.
So now we once again didn't have any audience, which is what happened to through the end of the show, where we did a bit of our trashing around with instruments for our enjoyment and that was that.
So this was really the only time we have played for an entirely empty bar. We had played in front of just a couple of people, but this was the only time it was entirely empty. But to the owner's credit, he kept to our arrangements and paid us the agreed upon 150 euros. Which certainly is something I have seen other owners try to reneg on for whatever reason.
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So yeah, you are right, it indeed is about the stories, that is what stays with you. And indeed the lows tend to end up being the most interesting stories.
Be it the best paid show which was in front of an empty room; the time due to snow storms the drummer wasn't able to make it to the show and you played without him; the time after soundcheck in a professional venue that somebody ran up and completely turned down your guitar ruining the whole sound; playing in the streets and being shouted at to stop screaming; or any other weird thing, they do end up being fond memories.
Now it's also good to have some good experiences in there, like the time we completely trashed the stage and I kind of apologetically went to the soundguy, telling him I'll replace any broken mics and him telling me to not bother, because it was great; being asked to do an encore and then forgetting that you put your guitar amp on stand by, so figuring the guitar broke from trashing around so just do an energetic encore with only bass, drums and vocals, finding out afterwards when you go to switch of the amp that its on stand by; ah good memories :)
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So this turned out a bit longer than expected, but hope you enjoyed the story / stories :)
It is about pleasure as far as I am concerned. There was once the dream of greatness. It didn't survive my lack of... quality? Maybe. However it is like the process of growing older. You have to get over your good skin, abundance of hair. You have to give up being young in order to remain alive. After all, we either get old or die young. Gigs are good, bad, lousy... it isn't always satisfactory. One thing is, though. Having people to play with me. In the end, that has always been the best part. And still is. So, I will not change the world. So what? Success?? I don't get paid to have sex, and yet I keep doing it with enthusiasm. The same goes for having a band. Just having a band.
First time I went busking in London was a disaster. I had to argue with the other buskers of that spot to just sing there, it was raining and I made £1 pound. Keep going!
I quit music school at 25 vowing to never attempt to perform in public again. I wrote many songs recording them at home just for fun. When I was 30 I was recruited into a band we only played for free beer (that was the bands name Freebeer) since then I have quit music many times only to be recruited again and again to join bands that quickly fell apart so I returned to solo guitar and song writing to bid my time keep fingers and mind in the game.
To the young man (or woman) considering giving up. I will turn 46 in another 2 months. I don't want to say that I have been where you are, but I have been through lows where I wanted to give up altogether. It is so demoralizing to put in endless hours of practice, work, blood, sweat, and tears only to watch the whole thing fall apart... ...especially if the circumstances are completely out of your control. This has happened several times to me. Then there is the advice from friends and family. The worst is if your significant other is the one telling you should give up music and do something sensible with your life. If she tries to give me an ultimatum such as "it's either me or the guitar" my response is "my guitar doesn't have legs so I guess you should start walking".
I have tried to give this up before but I can't do it. It is a part of me. Even during these times I was still playing my guitar at least 2 to 3 times a week. In my eyes that is abysmal, but for other people that is taking the instrument seriously.
This video hit the nail on the head. Every time I have wanted to give up music it is because I feel like I have never received the pay off for all the hours I have put into this instrument. I have not reached my financial goals, never had fame and fortune, never got signed to record deal, etc. These are high expectations and I have fallen short at every turn. Whenever I reflect on that it makes me miserable. It is hard to find the balance. You don't want to put in all this effort for nothing. You want to be rewarded for your efforts. If you don't get those rewards it makes you miserable. You need to really think about what you expect to get out of this. Is there a feasible path to your goals? Are you willing to put in the work?
arpeggiomeister I’m 21 and Im freakin out. thank you for your words, man. they really hit
there return on investment of being a musician is pretty horrible - that's why most musicians have a day job which pays
Good words
Well said. I'm 37, and am heading down your road. I've also had a real hard time with bands myself to the point it depresses me to look back on. Imo, just play in bands for fun. Don't take it seriously and try to really take it anywhere, because if you do, you'll only feel more disappointed.
This is exactly how it feels. Thank you. Still trying to find motivation
I’m in a pop punk band : We were playing a show at a venue and we decided to play a cover of a Jonas brothers song. And before we got to the chorus the whole venue cleared out. - we didn’t sound bad- but I was playing bass and stand on the drum riser and when I turned around it was empty. Looking back we all laugh now. I found this video because I’ve thought about hanging it up and I like the advice you’ve given. Thank you.
My band keeps breaking but always comes back. We pretty much hate each other but we need each other to get to anywhere, within 2 years got from 5 songs unpaid gig to touring a little bit. Personally I love the journey only when it brings results, although I want to kill everyone sometimes.
last year i've been kicked out from 2 cover bands during a single month
and both of this bands replaced me with same guitarist
we're still making fun of it in my current band that if i screw up - they will invite him on my place)
Haha that's actually funny. You can find your own place and people. ^^
Maybe put down the duster buddy
I know this video is 5 years ago but it resonates today ….when I think back on my music journey….it’s been pretty sad without the people I started with__I was having more fun with my band mates and my boys then now ,doing it all alone. 2 year ago during Covid , me and my buddies got together and made some amazing music . That was a beautiful time but of course we grown and got jobs, my buddy is raising kids so life happens. I’m just a lonely musician in the corner with all this music saying ..LOOK AT ME…but nooones paying attention….I’m tired and getting old …maybe it’s time to finally be ready to hang it up….anybody that reads this ..please give me your honest opinion no matter how brutal……..thank you
Really loving your advice in your videos. Thank you 🙏🏾
Many moons ago I was in a band. We drove all the way from Bournemouth to Coventry to play in front of the support band and 2 of them went home! Not only that the car overheated on the way up. We always recall this gig but at the time totally soul destroying, it's all about the stories
Met these guys after they responded to my "drummer seeking bandmates" ad online. They sent me 3 of their demos and I practiced putting my drumming into the mix. We got together, went through the songs and they invited me to join them. We started weekly rehearsals together and soon added a fourth member to play bass. We have been together just over a year and have recorded an album, made a music video and played three shows together. Last week the lead singer/guitarist told us he had to catch up on student loans and upgrade his vehicle and would need to take time off from the band because he is going to take on a second job and won't have the time to commit to the band. That's where I am at. I told the other guys that we need to keep meeting and working on our music but so far, they haven't even responded to my messages. It seemed to be going really well but now I just don't know what to think or do. Any advice?
As an antisocial 17 year old, the best show I ever put up was at a classroom during a potluck for the end of the school year. Any other time I played, no one cared except for my friends. This time, everyone was having a blast and many girls snapchatted it. The teacher asked me to play for her other classes too.
I still chuckle to myself occasionally about a time on tour where the drummer from another band was spiking his mohawk backstage using a portable electric heater instead of a hair dryer, and his singer walked into the dressing room and says, "Hey man, be careful with that or you'll end up with a no-hawk!"
I remember watching the Anvil documentary, where those 50-year-old men still try to make it and record heavy metal albums, and thinking that's exactly what I want to be doing at that age - whether I "make it" or not, I do enjoy the journey and the music that much. My goal at this point is to just some recognition for my music (like, more than my friends and their friends). Plugging my band: Eluvian.
I quit music when I had kid aged 30. Stopped playing for a decade, but got lured back into a band on the understanding that we would write and record some material but no play gigs. Two years in, the guitarist suddenly said he wouldn't record unless we gigged first. I reluctantly agreed, but the guitarist was awful live and the two gigs we played were a farce.
I've quit and I'm re-retiring.
I was a musician for a long time. Played in a lot of different bands. Just had a good opportunity that I took and promptly had to bow out of because of my s.o.'s insecurities. I was made to pick between one love or another.
Now I am selling my gear. I told her she better damn well realise what I'm giving up on for her sake. I dont think she does, really.
I've been recently dishaeartened by the way the business is evolving. With streaming services it seems the artists and writers are not making much money. I recently got a check from Music Reports for two cents! My band had a gig last Tuesday night at a club we play 2 or 3 times a year. My heart was just not in it with all the setting up and trying to control the band and situation.
We killed that night for three plus hours. The place was packed. The dance floor was full. The owner was so happy he even helped us packing out. With a smile on his face!
I have never thought about quitting music (I have no other skills and do make my living at it in a wide variety of situations), but that night gave me renewed vigor about pursuing my music.
We were just rehearsing in the cellar for years and didn't have much goals. Then, we organized a small gig in a restaurant, invited our friends and got some great feedback. That encouraged us to record some songs (3) and two are now on Spotify, the third coming soon and we are in a much better situation to now get some gigs (still having trouble with that). Much more motivation in the band now!
11 months ago I had a stroke. Still managed to pull off a 5 hour solo acoustic gig the day after. 6 months ago I had heart surgery. I took a week off to recover before getting back to playing music. Now that i'm at a stage where i can look back and reflect on what happened, I no longer have the desire to play music. I have everything I need to write an album about this...but I don't want to.
I still enjoy performing for people but not like i used to. Last time I took a hiatus from music it lasted 10 years. It's time for another one, I can feel it.
This is a great video, it reall resonates with me.
Great video. Thanks for sharing this, Damian. “Damian” like the Herman Hesse’s character that was looking for his destiny, for himself.
This is my story... I’ve been playing guitar since I was about 12 years old started writing my own music since 14-15 back then I was making/in punk/pop punk emo bands that were lucky if we survived after a demo or two, I was also in 2 hardcore bands (circa 2010 and on) they were the most prevalent parts of my music career, one I formed with friends in high school made a demo the other found me, my band was the opener for their cd release show and they only had one guitarist, him and the drummer offered me to come try out, and I had never been with a drummer or guitar player that clicked, like no talking or bs just 1,2,3 and riffs turned to songs in minutes...I was 18 at the time and even dropped out on the high that my new band might get signed, we did a small east coast tour placed third in a battle of the bands, but alas we fell off and the days of hardcore are long gone hardly any of those guys in either bands play at all anymore so I spent my entire 20’s discovering, understanding, and learning music theory, started mowing/landscaping to take a “music break” then I found progressive music and djent, as trivial those genres can be I’ve never thought I’d be able to play, tap, sweep or slap guitar the way I do now it made me push myself to every limit even worked on my singing, and can approach any bass or drum set with ease and innate sense of rhythm I grew up an only child and now being older I think I got two friends that really don’t care for music like this, my family reminds me constantly that not everyone likes “my music” including them... yet I can literally play anything I hear or read, it kills me cause I’m 30 now and I love playing making and learning music but I never thought it could feel so lonely, and honestly I just want to quit and be just a normal average person I just feel like maybe I’m missing out on something and just throwing my life away cause I have absolutely nothing to show for it other than a few pictures and some sub par 12-13 year old cringey demos
This makes so much sense. I think it is somewhat related to age or maturity. As teenagers/young adults we are dreaming about the goal - being rockstars or whatever else - but at later stage (how much later is obviously individual) we understand that it is not about the distant dream, but creating life as we live it. Being in the moment.
I had a short lived band when I was about 18. We rehearsed for a couple of months and had one gig in front of like 20 persons. At the time I saw it as a failure. Because we split up and the songs we wrote were crap. But now I really like thinking about that band because that one gig was probably the most fun gig I have played. We improvised, we switched instruments, we were playing around without giving a crap that the output was horrible. We enjoyed it. We were laughing before, during and after.
This video got me thinking about that speach Jim Carey gave about doing what you love. It was something along the lines of that you might fail at doing what you hate, so why not fail doing something you love instead...
Since 2017, the band that I was incredibly passionate about for 6 years folded. It was that band that encompassed everything. Before I was in the band, the circle of friends I met knew the lead singer and eventually I was called on to be their bass player. It was my first real break in the music scene around town. I have fond memories of it to this very day. Despite the highest of highs and lowest of lows, I look back at it with a smile.
How was this band followed up? I joined another elite cover band in town, who all the sudden, fired me for no legitimate reason three months after joining. They way they broke the news to me was also very shady and unprofessional. I was still grieving the folding of the prior band and then that happened. I was determined. I did some sub in gigs to keep me in practice. Then in March 2018, I got a call from another working cover band in town to sub in. I got the gig pretty easily and have been on a solid schedule ever since. The guitar player and I even made a side project this year.
However, the rigors of the current band's schedule have started to cause burnout here. Lots of longer distances driving between gigs. The wedding gigs have been abundant, yet the local gigs my friends can come see me has dwindled. While I'm not considering quitting altogether, I do feel like 1) I need a vacation from the rigors of solid gigging in the last decade and 2) A change of scenery musically. I don't know where the music is going to take me, but I know that the status quo no longer satisfies me musically. A former bandmate once told me "You have to sacrifice everything in order to make it in this town. You have to miss birthday parties, family gatherings and time with your friends. You have to always make your calendar available." Time is catching up to me, and I'm noticing more and more I'm missing out on life just for the next gig. So I need to switch gears......
PS: Your videos have been incredibly insightful for this veteran bass player. These advice videos though give me some added clarity. It's one thing to teach a musician how to play. It's another to shell out advice for the expectations this thing called music entails.
Looking great
Everyone just wants to know how soon till fame cause to them that’s the illusion of musics stability when the stability is has and will always be in the mindset. Great video. Thanks.