This is what I came to say. The thing about being self-assured while young, and not having the people who you would listen to, tell/convince you of this (what you now know) is that you will have to discover it yourself. The beauty is that in the present, you have now jumped over that threshold. Continue to be grateful, because it is just good fortune. Also, if you look around, you will find that there are many people (your agemates and older people) who think the way you used to think, but unfortunately for them, they may never have the same reckoning. Time spent learning is not a waste, unless you view it through a different lens.
I'm 27. Everyone expected great things from me. I failed my engineering degree because I had trouble studying, I couldn't understand anything. Expelled, I pursued my talents and became a hyper realist sculptor. I drifted into full blown poverty. Went back to college and started my degree in business. 5 years of being adrift which could have been used to get that degree in the first place. A couple of days ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. That explains why I'm still not able to function as an adult. Next week I'll visit the bipolar disorder specialist. I'm optimistic about life. It's been awful, but it hasn't ended yet. Happiness is out there waiting for me.
Hey, I'm 29 and I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a little over 8 years ago. I also started college but was unable to complete my degree due to my mental illness. For a long time I thought I was just lazy or lacked the courage to endure the boredom of doing schoolwork, but thankfully my mindset shifted over time, especially after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It's not that I didn't care or had some character defect--I was sick, and having an illness, a disability, can make some things impossible, at least at certain times. Depression has been pretty awful for me and right now I'm coming out of the severest depressive episode I have yet had. I wish you the best, and I hope you and I both make it to that place called happiness.
I just turned 30. While I'm a janitor who doesn't drive and lives in a tiny 1 bedroom room apartment; I actually made a difference in so many lives. I've helped so many people from my daily job of keeping everyone clean and safe to the extra stuff I do like dressing as a Christmas elf and decorating the big trash bin and filling it with presents for all my coworkers and their families so they have something to unwrap on Christmas day. These are things we often overlook. We want everything now and tangible, but there are so many better things that will happen when God judges you for the intangible things that you've done for his children. I'd rather be a good person than a rich one.
Greetings fellow custodian or janitor! I'm so glad to hear someon else enjoys there job, when everyone else makes it seem like it's shitty... I love my job and it is important what we do everyday 🤘 Keep on keeping on man.
@@jdouglas9019 not only is it important in the basic sense of health and safety, but the service aspect. I would talk to our school janitor instead of the guidance counselor because I didn't want everything I said on record.
“I wanted to be the center of attention in other people’s worlds” Someone actually articulating that in words just made me realize that’s been my mindset for so long
The external validation part rings so true for me right now as a mid-twenties professional who tries to gain respect by showing out with diamond earrings, gold rings, expensive suits, and all that material shit. Just made me do some real deep self-examination lol.
I burst into a sobbing tearful mess at hearing the words out loud. I’ve been crying for 11 hours straight this is so on point. I’m calling in sick for the next week and a half as a result of this.
I'm 23, and I can relate. Not only for myself, but others my age. Our generation's goal everyday is to impress others. Expensive clothes, Instagram pictures, all this bullsh*t that means nothing. Literally nothing. If I compare myself to when I was 18-20 to now, it's such an amazing change. I used to do things I hate to impress others. Now I do things I love for myself. Of course I'm still learning everyday, but I'm so glad I had this mindset shift at a young age. Great video man!
You are very wise for your age. I know people your age that are incredibly status seeking and thirsty for it. No wisdom or doing things for a greater purpose than sharing things on IG. Usually, that maturity you speak of comes with detachment to society and seeking who you really are and what YOU really care about.
Same buddy hell yeah that's why I started a channel on here I kinda love video games and posting vids are kinda fun Hobby's are fun living without giving a shit and letting go of alot of things we were tricked into thinking flexing mattered or right like Instagram or having the nicest shit who cares we can't die with shit but ourselves take your extra things u don't need or use anymore and give it all away peoples problems is they also have money issues thinking it solves ur happiness when it don't it just fills voids and fake happy feelings then boom ur right back to the same shit feeling being humble help others and spread love be inlove find and love God that matters more than anything love and God is key and when you said it means nothing alot of shit don't like alot it's all distracting us from the truth but people will believe what they want but especially the small minded acting people they believe everything including there own government more than themselves lol can't trust the government 🤣 vaccines kill nowadays mad world 💯✌️
Instagram is the WORST. It made my mental health decline so rapidly that I found myself comparing everything about myself to other people that seemed "better". The day I got sick of feeling worthless because I couldn't measure up, and deleting almost every social media app I had, was the day I felt so much lighter.
i spent the last decade doing nothing, literally nothing, just lazed around feeling sorry for myself and basically sleeping my way through my 20s. depressed, no education, no steady job and really not doing anything to try to change it. I turned 31 this year, i got my diploma last year and got into uni studying film and have almost finished my first year, i got a great part time job that i love so I'm saving money for future goals, it's only to late to make changes if you never make them.
I turn 28 this month and I have done the same as you for my entire 20s and I'm trying to change that now but shit it's fucking hard. Glad you managed to turn things around for yourself. I hope I can do the same.
Much better to learn from the mistakes of others. When I was a budding 20 year old I worked construction. Still do and I’m fortunate to have a career I’m passionate about. But the old-timers weren’t shy about telling me to not waste my money, and spend it wisely; bolstered by tales of regret. Definitely should have listened 🤣
@@spencerbixby7819 we learn on mistakes of others through being taught by our caretakers/parents/family. And we learn our own lessons only by acting on what we believe is the right thing to do
In my 20’s I was fighting off my anxiety, depression and ptsd. I’ve slept most of my 20’s so I can escape realism. I hated my life and everything in it. Being 29 I’m finally seeking help and realizing that I’m not ashamed of wasting my 20’s.
Lol “Who didn’t waste their 20’s” - I was wondering if anybody else was thinking this. I wasn’t gonna be the one to say it but I understand the thought.
@@ryanmeneses5003 - That’s a good question. I’d say write down what are your hobbies. What’s fun to you. What do you enjoy and try to spend as much time as possible doing those things. Life’s short, it’s tough … the more time we spend actually doing quality things we enjoy the better.
On my 30th I went to Egypt and looked at the pyramids and reflected on my life. I use to be real down about feeling like I wasted my 20s but it all hit me gazing at the pyramids. Nothing was wasted, everything was a chain effect that led to who I was today. I wasn’t where I wanted to be financially of course, but I totally felt at peace that day with myself. Life is all about perspective I feel really.
I’m 28 but I can’t tell you how much this resonated with me. Just deleted Instagram completely and started to focus on the hurt soul inside me. Time to heal…
I soon to be 28, no friends, no confidence and achievement. It hurt my soul to think about my lack of risk taking and social life. I've decided to use the last remaining days of the year to redirect my focus to a purposeful one. It's never too late, age just a number what matter it's your mindset and belief systems.
What did Instagram have to do with it lol Is it updated and reinstalled. Clear all that cache out.. Your on RUclips, whats good. Let me know how that works out. I might still be here.
@@pauleddymounombi2695 well first of all, thank god… THANK GOD you aren’t starving, you’re facing a common 1st world problem, that in no means puts down any of your problems, but really it’s just a mentality change that needs to happen, it’s normal to want friends but you have to break it down to why it hasn’t happened. Is it the way you look? Work out, is it lack of ambition? Research fun things to do and go chase it, whether it’s to walk across the Great Wall of china or help mentor people. Whatever it is that you want to do, it cannot be don’t by drowning yourself in sorrow. Things will only start to happen when you stop thinking and just do it. Look up the “2 minute rule” - good luck mr friend
Im 25 almost 26 and im realizing that everyone regrets something about their 20s. Im glad you have a positive mindset and I feel the same way. I regret certain things but if I hadn't gone through it I wouldn't have learned from it now.
I think everyone wastes their 20's in a sense. It's a decade for self discovery, often with mistakes. If you get to your 30's and learn from your past (but not dwell on it) and apply to your present and future you'll do just fine.
I am in my late 20s and I feel this. We spend a lot of time and money trying to do things we don't want to do in order to impress people we don't even like.
This all boils down to our Ego. In our 30s our ego moves on to other things like being self-absorbing and not caring about others (since you feel you wasted your 20s caring impressing others). That's also a dangerous route that we need to avoid. Just be kind and compassionate, it's the best feeling and the more you give the more fulfilling our life will become.
@@WiseOnion never seek validation from pure unconditional love can only be fulfilled by Jesus christ. The age of grace aka church age is soon coming to an end. The comforts that we enjoy and maybe taken granted for will be soon gone. World govts are colluding together at the expense of their own citizens to usher in new world order. New world order led by obama and pope francis is coming. Jesus christ is coming back for the rapture. Get ready. Dont believe the coming ufo alien abduction narrative. Refuse the coming mark on hand or forehead at all costs
I wish people would stop turning 30 years old and saying they wasted something. Most aren't even out of school until they're 22/23. The human brain isn't even fully developed until you're around 25. You're just finding your way through your 20s and figuring out who you really are. You have 50+ years left to live, and you will learn, grow, and change through out it. Everything will be OK. It's one small segment of life.
You are right the body and brain actually isn’t done until around 25 +/- 2-3 years for some in reality you just started truly started finding who you truly are
As a 25 year old, seeing most of everyones comments made me realize that im not alone going through difficult mental health problems. As a matter of fact, we are all almost going through similar battles. This is honestly comforting because sometimes you feel all alone thinking that nobody understands how you’re feeling but here we all are. I wish that someday we all figure out our lives and overcome our battles. Just take it one step at a time, don’t put too much pressure on yourselves, and know that ALOT of people are also going through similar battles. Just fight through it, stay strong, and one day you’ll look back at the hardships you went through and be able to smile through it. We are all in this together.
Literally. I'm 29 and spent most of my life since age 16 living through or recovering from either abusive/toxic relationships or childhood trauma. I was not able to function like "normal" people.
Reading these comments has really made me feel better to know that there's tons of other people just like me out there who are struggling with the realization that life is passing them by and they aren't where they want to be. I recently turned 28, and I'm currently struggling with feeling like I haven't accomplished what I should have by now. I didn't graduate college until I was nearly 26, I've never been in a real relationship, and I don't feel like I am developing much in my career. But, I have a steady income, my own place, and a paid for car, and I've lost 30 pounds in the last 6 months. Things can and will get better people, and seeing so many who are struggling just as I am, and those who have climbed out of it, makes me feel like I'm not so alone.
As humans we have this huge empty void we long for love and acceptance by others hence why we are always seeking validation by doing things that are essentially hollow and vain. The empty void in our hearts can only be fulfilled by the love of Jesus christ. Everything else is conditional and or temporary/fleeting. The age of grace aka church age is soon coming to an end. Dangerous times coming ahead for the world. World govts are colluding together at the expense of their own citizens to usher in new world order. New world order led by obama and pope francis is coming. Jesus christ is coming back for the rapture. Get ready. Dont believe the coming ufo alien abduction narrative. Refuse the coming mark on hand or forehead at all costs
We all seem to have such high expectations of ourselves to the point that it gets unhealhty, I mean I'm the same way. From my perspective graduating at 26 is really early and a huge achievement at that, but I know that if I was in the same situation I'd probably put myself under scrutiny for everything I did wrong and how late I was etc. even though I know there is no reason at all to dwell on the past I'd still do it and it'd take a toll on my mental health.
Life is about about silver linings and enjoying the peace every now and then. I turned 28 recently and I can relate to feeling inadequate: Remember, don't compare yourself to others, you're where you need to be in this moment. Appreciate what you have been able to do and the "what if I had" self hatred. If you spend all of your time regretting over the past, then you can't really grow. Focus on what you can learn.
To have this level of insight is insane! Coming from a psychology student, you are so self aware. Thank you for this video because I’m in my 20’s & it’s so relevant to my life as well as many other peoples my age
Thank you Jesse. I really appreciate that. I'm glad this video is relevant to you and many others. My awareness is a result of heavy therapy and counseling over the last two years.
damn man i wish everyone had this kinda awareness, i run into tons of trouble because I feel like I have this level of understanding, but most others dont. idfk if i had to implode to know myself or what, but i did implode about 5 years ago. im 36. I also dont know if psychedelic exoeriences help either. I feel they did but I wouldnt recommend that for everyone. I did break down, but wasnt aiming for that. It happened.
Im 29, will be 30 in March. I had the same exact mindset you did through our 20s. It was all about the image but absolutely no fulfillment inside. I went from a 2016 Camaro SS ZL1 to a 98 Corolla over the last year because I didn't see the point in the image. I stopped shopping for clothes and going out on the weekends, I stopped drinking. I'm just focusing on my trucking career so that I can eventually start my own company, being in the weightroom 5 days a week to put on some muscle to boost confidence, and doing anything and everything I can to fix the relationship between me and my son's mother. All I want is to be successful and to have my family back. I had to bury that cocky, arrogant, self righteous moron that everyone thinks is me but truly isn't. This path I'm on has been hard but it's full filing to know I've got a plan with little goals set that I'm slowly but surely reaching with each passing day and I no longer care about the image and don't associate with people who will unfortunately continue to go down that negative path well into their 30s. we're gonna make it brah
@@daMillenialTrucker aye same! Ill be 30 as well on the 12th of March. Still working on myself and learning some new things to try see what i really want outta this life.
I’m 29 and I feel like most of my 20s have been a waste. They say they’re supposed to be the best years of life, but anxiety destroyed me from ever having a life. Oh well, here’s to hoping I will be able to live the life I never could in my 30s, or hell maybe even 29.
I'm 30, it's been the same with me. Not only anxiety but a bit of depression, lots of panic, agoraphobia and whatnot. For me, 20's were the worst and super overrated, I don't know why people romanticize it so much. Everything is so childish and superficial, it's a phase where we think we're mature already, but we're really just teens on steroids dealing with a shitload of emotional problems and pressure from society (I think our whole generation knows that pretty well). 20's are usually a time for mistakes, self-discovery, low self-esteem, battling our own insecurities, etc. And it sucks even more that society thinks we should be able to take our most important life decisions at that age, which is ridiculous. It's funny how most of us felt the urge to seek external validation and tried hard to belong or portray a "successful" imagine of ourselves to others as if it even mattered, just like when you're listening to a song and portray yourself as being the singer in a concert. We all have our aptitudes, abilities, etc that make us who we are, our very own essence. We're all unique and we'll deal with our own struggles. I feel like i'm finally able to become the best version of my trueself once and for all. In your 30's, you're way more mature for literally everything, you decisions, your relationships, your social life, your professional life, etc. I wouldn't have done anything differently. Life is simple, you live through what you have to live through and you don't look back. Your best years are yet to come. And remember this, it's NEVER a waste. You had to get through that to become who you are today.
My 20s were almost the negative image of yours, but just as bad. I saw the game everyone was playing and wanted no part in it. So I didn't pursue education or a career, was purposefully anti-social and spent most of my time being miserable on my own, drinking and playing video games. At around 25 or 26 I realized how miserable and depressed I was , and really started soul searching and thinking about what I actually wanted out of life. I came to the conclusion my only real dream was having a happy family one day, and with that came the realization that wouldn't be happening if I kept on the way I was going. I've since worked hard on my social skills and made a lot of friends, taken on new hobbies and started doing sports and I already feel like a new person. I've even started exploring the dating scene in search of my better half. To everyone who's aimless and miserable out there: Think about what you truly want out of life and do whatever is necessary to get it! You can do it!
I’m in the same boat you are, and have come to same conclusion that I want a family, but how may I ask did you improve on your social skills that’s something that I think is holding me back.
I experienced the same thing and I think it’s an advantage versus being a disadvantage. Once you realized you were wasting time now you are going straight up toward the right path without any doubts, hesitation and looking backward. It’s time to get clear,hyper focused and reach a place of joy and fulfillment. Really appreciate your honesty and openness brother
I noticed this a lot as I entered my late teens and early twenties. There’s so much external pressure. I get called a prude for not wanting to drink. When I say no I’m always asked at least 5 more times and they bargain with “it’s only a little”. It’s definitely important to reflect on your values and set boundaries for yourself. For me, I’ve set a boundary with alcohol, and that’s hard for a lot of people to understand. Just stick to what you believe in guys.
Tbf alcohol tastes bad, and makes people stupid. I genuinely don't understand why people like it. I mean, if it was the old days when it was either alcohol or dirty polio creek water, sure. But now there's better options lol.
I'm starting to question my partying habits. Anyone who tells you to drink after you say you have bpundaries with alcohol isn't your friend. They dont respect you.
Those same people will admire that strength you show in those moments. Speaking from personal experience. It sucks now but it's worth it to set and stick to boundaries. If they change they change but it should be something you decided.
I’m 22 and used to like drinking but being emetophobic (the phobia of vomiting) made the times when I went too far truly awful. I had to stop alcohol for medical reasons (not related to alcohol, it just made drinking even the smallest amount of it nauseating) and I’m still afraid of what people would think or how I would do in parties and social events since I’ve pretty much never done that kind of stuff without drinking (as an adult). But after my first party without drinking, I was also relieved of how much better I felt when going to sleep and the following morning. I wasn’t as confident during that party as I was when I could drink, but those kind of things come with time and self care, and in the long run are way more beneficial in everyday life than needing a pint to stop worrying about stuff. Most of my friends like to get absolutely wasted to relieve stress, and I’m not judging them, but I’ve set my boundaries.
I'm 24 and I'm felling so lost lately. I feel I'm losing my 20's on social media, even though I don't post much I'm just watching others lives the whole day. It's like I'm not being the main character of my own life. I miss genuine happiness, stomach butterflies, love sparkles and having fun so so badly...
Life can be better. It is important that you stop comparing to others. You will always feel depressed and sad when you compare to other people, seeing that they have what you don't have. I struggled a lot with this, and I had a severe depression. We need to understand that you are the main protagonist in you life, you have a story being unfolded to you, not others. One of the most important things you can do when you feel down is reading the bible, especially the new testament and then putting your faith in Christ. Believe me when I tell you that when you come to have faith in Christ and follow Him, your life will change drastically. Especially when you understand that eternal life made possible through faith in Christ will be something so amazing that life on Earth will pale ln comparison. The struggles here are what is part of life, but after that there will be a time when there will be no more struggles or sadness ever, if you decide to put Christ first. I pray that you find your comfort. Remember that after bad things, good things will surely follow. Stay strong!
I’ve seen quite a few similar situations. “Waste” is a strong word. I’m sure you probably gained a lot of life experiences and life knowledge in that process of marriage that a lot of 20 year olds can’t get. You get wisdom from it !! Like you said you’re a better man because of it now. Some of those things you can’t put a price on even if the time might feel wasted.
I wasted my 20’s trying to work and study myself into success. Now im 29 and am at the same place as everyone else except i never got to have any fun or free time
That's sucks. I'm not exactly in the same boat, but it does feel shitty knowing that trying hard in high school and going through part of a college education means nothing when a high school dropout could literally work the exact same job I do right now.
The real lesson is to spend your money on experiences, not things. Spent my 20's, 30's, and 40's traveling on a bare bones budget. Never blew money on expensive cars, clothes (don't even own a suit), or places to live. 51 now, still don't feel the urge to blow my money on 'things'.
Same here. I "wasted" all my money in my 20s for travels and lived in small apartments, never regretted it. I dont need to impress others with things, how boring is it to live like this... been to Australia, Sri Lanka, Portugal, Spain, Colombia and much more to come. Life is to be enjoyed and explored, its not just jobs and status but people, places and moments that take your breath away. Many people my age compare their jobs with eachother and to me I feel its childish
@@TitanTubs regular corporate office job. I make a decent middle class wage, but I rarely buy any new clothes (don't even own a suit), and my car isn't anything that is going to catch someones eye as it passes. I blow money on bare bones travel, camera gear, and vinyl records.
I sometimes punish myself for having wasted so much time on my 20s. Now I'm 29, I've spent almost 2 years slowly killing my old self and bringing who I really am to the surface. Working out, saying no to the toxic friendships, having break ups that cured me of my needy behavior with women. I am creating the life I want now, even if it sucks now and then, the overall is that I am becoming a person that I am proud of. There's not coming back
Some people are 40, 50 and still never get out of that mindset about wanting to impress people. That's great that at your young age (30 is still very young my dad said and he's almost 70), that you're able to get mental clarity and have the desire to be mentally strong. I'm 37 and I am STILL insecure about how people view me. I do know that ultimately you can't control what other's think of you, so you're right about that!
I’m 27 and finally this year I stopped to just please everyone all the time and try to achieve things that other people respect. It is not an easy journey and I feel pretty lost right now, but I hope I’m in the right path.
I'm 26 and I feel you. This transition from seeking external validation to letting go of that and validating oneself is not easy at all. Although not easy, I believe it is the right path.
@@pepsiman4418 reading self improvement books, working out because it makes you feel good/is good for you, feeding your body with healthy foods, learning constantly (through work/study, travel, new hobbies etc.), spending time with people you enjoy the company of, and setting and achieving long-term goals. It’s all about self-care and doing things that make you feel good in the long run.
Crazy how I’m turning 22 and I already feel like this 😅 I guess I needed to watch this , redirect all my focus on me and my happiness. It’s a privilege to have such videos at a young age , it teaches us to make better decisions before we regret about it later.
Got plenty of time on yourside Cassie, I would honestly recommend buying or listening to Little Things Matter by Todd W Smith. It was absoulte game changer for me and inspired me too take action in my own life. Most importantly go out and enjoy your life.
i learned all this when i turned 29... I was one of the people where going out and drinking was my only personality trait. I couldn't do anything without alcohol. a year sober now, and its crazy how much alcohol is "needed" in society. I lost so many friends because i stopped drinking.
Keep it up dave. It's OK to lose friends, but most importantly you don't lose yourself. Eventually u will make new friendships. And they're gg to be supportive with what u do.
I stopped drinking as well and I’m 24 and the amount of friends I lost are literally all of them lol I’ve had to find new things and hobbies and it’s been amazing and I know through time I will find more people like me and make friends with them! As of now my best friend is my girlfriend/fiancé
im currently 20 years old, soon to be 21. i think this is actually helped me to open my eyes as i am going through the same thing. after failing at a major my parents have chosen for me i decided to choose for myself and maybe live for me and not anyone else. i hope i can be able to live my authentic self even if others dont understand. thank you for this video, and sharing your experiences!
I just turned 22 these days and i'm totally the same. I feel like i wasted the years from my life from 18 to 21 and now its like my eyes just open and im ready to pursue greater things and become more contented with myself. Wish u the best and to everyone going through it, we will succeed!❤
Im 27 , and as a latina we are used to living with our parents at an older age but i cant help but to feel like a leech . . I have no kids and I recently got fired for doing something stupid… I haven’t found a job i like in a month but i hope by 30 i have my life figured out . Im lucky my parents are alive and im happy to be in a committed relationship for 10 years :) and i have a loving cat.
You'll Figure It Out. It's An Everyday Thing. Stay In The Moment And Take It Day By Day. I'm 22 And Have That Feeling, I Know Patience Is Key But Not Having A Consistent Income Living Here Makes Me Feel Like Rushing Myself. But Then What? I'll Have My Own Set Up But Will It Actually Be A Valid Set Up For Me & The Lifestyle I'd Like To Have. Not Tryna Leave Just To Come Back Even Tho I Know It's Possible Either Way Life Is Life, You Learn. So It's Best To Plan And Visualize And By Faith In Myself And The Universe The Life I Plan To Set Up For Myself Is One Of Constant Evolution On My Own.
Im 28 and lived a similar life to you, deleted all my social media, sold all my designer crap and living a life more true to who I am. Don't care what other people think anymore and I was silly to focus on focusing on that for so long. I feel a lot more free now.
I think that is great, I was wondering is it still showing off if you can afford it and if that’s what you want for yourself, not for other people to look at what you have?
I tell ya, I'm in an even worse position. I'm literally still seeking employment after college and I'm nearly 27 years old. I've always had an ego problem and low self-esteem solely because I'm a competitive person. The fact that I had fallen so far behind and didn't work out like how I should've was disgraceful. Good news is that I've been turning my life around and I'm bent on rising up.
I’m 23 turning 24 in a couple of months and I can honestly say for the first time in my life I know who I am. I am secure and know who I am, who I want to be and where I want to go. I just had the hardest 18 months of my life but the wisdom I’ve gained is priceless and I am so privileged. One thing I’ve realised in life is everyone at some point has to go through this transition. Through childhood were groomed by our family, friends, school, society to be a specific version of ourselves. We become what everyone else wants us to be. There will have to be a point in your life you look within yourself and discover who you are. I can’t stress enough how painful that experience can be, you could feel like your whole life has been a lie, however it is the start of you living the life you chose. I used to feel so behind in life being 23 but now I feel so exited to start my life. I have the rest of my life to go and more experiences to have.
I got a serious illness at 23 too i got pancreatitis from drinking myself close to death and they told me that it's chronic which i fully believed but after 2 years it magically healed to the point i'm feeling so much better now. Wish you the best!
I'm 27 going on 28, near the end of my 20s. Something I realized is that previous generations romanticized the 20s and vilified 30s and 40s. The reality is, a lot of people do not truly start putting it together until their 30s. Sometimes, you have to enter the world and feel things out which is what your 20s are for. I'm going on my second degree and I really didn't figure out what I truly wanted to do with my life until last year. Mental illness is also a real thing, and a lot of mental disorders do not manifest until a person's 20s or 30s, both for men and women. Mental disorders can also be extremely difficult to catch until they reach a certain severity or progression. I'm diagnosed with severe grade major depressive disorder and ADHD, something that I didn't fully get under control until last year. Things take time.
Bro life doesn't end when you turn 30 that's bs specially for men we as men never stop developing and improving ourslefs if you wasted your 20's like I did you still have your 30s and 40s to do better.
I'm same age as you and currently facing the same situation and I agree with everything you said. I plan to start a second degree too but I'm afraid that I'll fail again cause I suspect I have ADHD it's sooo hard for me to focus and remember or to express my thoughts and feelings like other people do. I feel like trauma and depression paralysed me throughout these years, it's hard for me to get up and fight..
*Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner* ― Lao Tzu *To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment* ― Ralph Waldo Emerson I've experienced a similar breakthrough that was painful at the time but it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Your video is very relatable, I did a complete 360 when I turned 23 - I realized I was living a life that was not authentic to me. Made me realize the extreme importance of being Based - living a life that is true to me regardless of the opinions of others. Stay Based
I'm 33 and I'm nearing the end of a business PhD program which I absolutely did not enjoy and spent 8 years in (11 years if counting the 2 years I spent in an economics PhD and 1 gap year after that). I've struggled so much with anxiety and depression along the way, and made some very stupid life choices, like "self-medicating" with weed, spending tons of money I didn't have on video games just because I felt like I found a community there, and breaking up with a gf who loved me very much. Life in the last few years has been mostly like a blur to me, and it's as if I fast forwarded in life only to find out I know nothing about it at all. I'm now balding and also learning just how average I truly am as a person, whereas previously I had so much ego in me. I'm hoping to rebuild myself as a normal person and lead a healthy/productive life. Wishing everyone who's struggling in life to find their own path!
Mate, I am so happy I've found your video. I am turning 29 this June and I can't believe how fast my 20s have gone by. I was always told in my late teens that I'd get somewhere in life, have the perfect home, get married have a family plus have a great stable career, etc. The sad thing is I've got none of those things yet. Most of my life has been working shite dead-end jobs hoping to get trained up or at least gain a qualification due to being a decade-long employee which never happened which hurt a lot and the rest was spent feeling sorry for myself drinking all the time. I finally woke the fuck up a year ago and started really trying to rebuild myself up again after feeling like I was the only person in the world with this issue. It's hard man but everyone has a different journey in life.
I'm currently 22yrs old and I can relate to this. Seeking external validation can really take a toll on our sanity, making us forget what we truly desire in life without having to consider other people's opinions. Thank you for sharing!
@@georgeosborn421 same. I'm 20 and can't relate at all. Never seen the value of impressing others. It's kinda stupid. Perks of being introverted i guess
The way that you've come so so far from being so concerned about what people think about you that you were suffering physical symptoms from that anxiety, to now being at the point where you can upload a video for all to see talking honestly about your flaws and essentially your own downfall... that's incredible man. You've come so damn far, that's really respectable. Good f**king job.
Some people who's around the age of 40 and 50 still don't know what they want to do but got stuck doing something else. It is awesome that you managed to figure it out at the age of 30.
You described most people, EVERYONE is encouraged to be narcissistic and thrive to be the best to be acknowledged and be accepted by others. It's a mind game. The goal is to manipulate people, that's the way the game is played. It's all about getting people to compete, consume and produce. My attitude is "Yup, I'm a loser, whatever winner, why do you care? Jealous?" 🤪
No seriously though. They really get jealous when they realize that people no longer want to "play the game" anymore. I quit caring and went for the one passion that I always had in life which involved living in Spain and improving my Spanish. I earned a double major in Spanish and Latin American studies and a M.A. in Spanish while studying abroad in Europe for both degrees. I of course posted pics as a traveled all around Spain, Portugal, France and Morocco. I was all of a sudden queen and getting a bunch of likes from everyone still playing the game never sat well with me. I remember posting a pic of my passport stamped with all of the countries I'd been to and a few "mean girls" asking me what they needed to do to get a passport. I actually began to feel sorry for them at that point. Smh!
@@josephwintrich7294 i was already crying out of realizarion and relatdness when this thought(mind you im from a religious background)...Theres is a passage at Holy Bible that says "He was crushed for our pain..."(kinda a profecy about the tragedy of life of Jesus) @Jordan Peterson(i hope it could see it🗿)
I just turned 30 this weekend. Look man. 20s helped me learn alot about myself, my bad habits, my good traits and my bad traits. I grew more patient and wise. I learned how I dont want to spend my next 10 year run. I had fun, ups and downs. 20s are a learning process and it's not wasted if it's learned from. I am more self aware than ever, and I feel more like I found myself. Cheers.
This reminds me of the quote by Cooley: "I am not who you think I am. I am not who I think I am. I am who I think, you think I am" - it blew my mind when I first heard it. I'm glad you're in a better place David, I'm sure this video is one a lot of people will refer back to at different stages of their life. Edit: yeah, the quote blew my mind too when I first heard it
I’m almost 28. My 20’s have just been me battling my mental illness. I feel like it’s been wasted. I definitely do hope things get better. That I can find that correct treatment and get in the right mind set or at least a content one. We’ll see
Same, I’m 33 now and my entire 20’s were spend trying to figure out how my brain works. I figured some of it out and that tiny bit has already made a huge difference to my day to day functioning.
Hi again. I just wanted to tell you about one of my neighbors. She was a counselor and she said when she was young she had a dozen mental illnesses and even tried to commit suicide. She then decided to study psychology and her classes taught her so much about herself and her life and she became a certified counselor and now she helps teens and they can relate to her since she suffered what they are going through. She always said that an addict can best help an addict. So maybe you can enroll in psychology classes online or something and help others 😊
I'm 27 and I've had chronic anxiety my whole life. I always try to control things. Well it recently caught up to me and I developed gastritis. basically I couldn't eat because my stomach was so inflamed from stress. So I had to completely drop all my anxiety driven behaviors and really change how I operate. It is a blessing in disguise. Get well man.
@@neverlookback1244 biggest tip I can give is when you’re anxious about something, understand that whatever you are anxious about might happen is a lot easier than the stress you are putting yourself through on the inside.
I became a dad at 23 I found my 20s very productive now I'm 33 still in a relationship with the same woman since I was 19 I think I'm one of the lucky ones
@@PraveenSrJ01 thanks! getting married in 5 or so weeks time 3 kids down the line mortgage and everything it ain't easy but it worth it. Don't look back look forward enjoy want time you have left fck what everyone else thinks.
I am turning 30 in 2 months and I am horrified….I didn’t go partying, traveling etc in my 20’s because of depression and I feel so bad I never had “youth”
Same I see everyone on social media doing all these things and I feel like I’m missing out and I don’t have any interesting stories to tell my life is boring
Same. I've decided to start seeking therapy and pursuing a career that I know will be difficult to get into but it's something I've wanted to do since high school but was told graphic design was oversaturated and it would be a waste to get into it. I have nothing but a hs diploma and am removing myself from an abusive relationship so I can start living an actual life..
My goodness we’re the same! It feels like my life during twenties have been dragged away from me. I will never get it back. I just wished I could turn back time and change the wrong paths I’ve taken😞
I wasn’t financial free until my 30’s and I’m still in my 30’s, bought my second house already, earn on a monthly through passive income and got 4 out of 5 goals, just hope it encourages someone that it doesn’t matter if you don’t have any of them right now, you can start TODAY regardless your age INVEST and change your future! Investing is a grand choice I made. Great video! Thanks for sharing! Very inspiring!
Generally, investing requires higher knowledge. For this reason, It's important to have a solid support structure (financial consultant) to guide you through especially in asset picking. I operate with "Camille Alicia Garcia, An investment advisor who partners with a licensed wealth management firm. For the record, the experience has been the best for my finance. She is quite popular for her services so you might have heard of her.
@@hunter-bourke21 I value your recommendations. It's challenging to locate a trustworthy person. I could really use your investment advisor after seeing how much money you've made through investing. If you don't mind revealing her information, that is.
Many lack access to insightful knowledge, causing anxiety due to information gaps. Personally, I've earned $35k in passive income with "Camille Alicia Garcia, unaffected by market fluctuations.
You're definitely wasting your twenties if you're not trying to use the platform you built to get yourself somewhere further ahead, I wouldn't squander the opportunity you've already got I used to watch your videos a long time ago but I had no idea you stopped uploading like three years ago
I am 22 and I’m starting to realize my flaws now. I realize deep down I am extremely insecure and afraid of being judged or looked down upon. I try to dress well so i look good from the outside. I tend to not share the bad parts of my life with my friends and that has led me to lose some of my closer friends. I think this is one of the reasons why I have lost so many friends - I am not really vulnerable with many people. I am not a relatable person as a result. I am not really happy even though I am achieving great things in school and I try to seek validation from the external world. I wish to get to a point where my happiness comes from within and I am content with who I am.
Great thing you recognize that, it's good being honest to yourself. I understand how you feel and I know how you can get actual fulfillment from inside. I know it might sound weird to you at first, but giving Jesus a chance changes everything and it gives what you're looking for. By humbly seeking and asking Him to show Himself to you, He will do that in His own way and own time. It might not be what you expect, but you'll get the answer and eviedence eventually. Once you accept Jesus as lord, you get fulfillment and peace and happiness when doing good deeds, and it feels better than other things. You might not like what you're reading as of now, but giving Him a chance doesn't hurt to try. You have nothing to lose. Remember that patience is key and by not giving up the search immediately you will get what you're looking for. Alright take care brother!
I can relate. I am 29. And I felt like my 20s were wasted. I feel stuck while my friends and colleagues have moved on with their lives. When I was 25 my father almost died due to a heart attack then he had to have a heart transplant. I had to take time from school and play the role of a caregiver and work a job a I despised. Then in 2020 the pandemic happened and I was severely depressed, unemployed and still haven't gotten my degree. Not exactly the life I envisioned for myself at 29. After my father's illness I got very depressed and still am to an extent but I wish I could do my 20s differently. The regret and what could have been hurts when I look back.
Stay strong and finish your schooling. I actually lost my father at the age of 26. I’m 30 now my birthday was two days ago I’m still growing and I’m not letting anything stand in my way and neither should you! 😏😁
What’s messed up is im 27 rn and i started feeling the same way with anxiety in my body. It’s kinda nice to know you’re not alone going through these changes in your 20’s because when you’re going through things in life it feels like it’s only happening to you.
I'm 37m extreme introvert I wasted my 20s getting high and doing nothing but that. I'm learning to code now as a homeless person. I fucked up. This is my shot at life but it's so hard learning to code I wonder if I can even do it
This video is so important because what he mentioned on relying on external validation is predicated because our society is materialistic capitalist, it doesn't mean its inherently bad as capitalism can provide alot more freedom than other ideological frameworks in execution, its just for those who have a fragile sense of identity or someone who is sensitive to the expectations of others- can easily fall prey to what he was speaking on in this video and lead to a great deal of pain and suffering.
@@drankenstein5241 you got it brother , don't give up
3 года назад+64
oh yes, I deeply relate with you. I’m 35, spent whole 17 years trying to prove something to others, but slightly different way. I was/am workaholic, and I have an obsession to work hard to prove my worth. whole life I had a feeling that I’m worthless, and trying to produce of value at work is my hope to achieve worth for myself. last 3 years for me was hell, because I went to work for a company where I had to follow what is told to me and those orders in my opinion did not have a chance to prove my worth, and I could not do anything to fix it, so I went full blown anger stuff, started having panic attacks at the evening before going to sleep, developed some kind of insomnia. at one point my GF said to to visit therapist, because it was fucked up. so I also had ~2 years of intense therapy, it worked wonders. my mindset shifted significantly, I have stopped fighting with the rest of the world, and most of the time I feel peaceful. amazing feeling after a decade of suffering. so yea, I also wasted my 20s, and as you said I’m glad I did, because now I’m more mature person. I’m happy and proud about your transition! respect and best wishes.
“It’s the perception of reality that’s stronger than reality itself. And that perception doesn’t exist. It’s not something tangible you can put your hands on. The perception comes from within. How you see the situation. How you see it is a lot different from what the reality actually is. In that sense, your perception of who you are is a stronger reality (i.e. judgement), than the actual reality of what other people see or what the base reality really is.” - Greg Plitt
I think you are right.This is a very profound concept. It's like our perception of ourselves is so appealing and ego driven and we are so afraid to face the reality of ourselves because it might not be acceptable to those around us that we get stuck in a fantasy of who we think we should be. I think our society's hyper focus on entertainment may make it worse too. It distracts us from the reality of ourselves and the way we should be truly living; which is unique to each person. Each person has an ideal day, spent doing an ideal thing, in an ideal environment, around ideal other personalities. When one of those things is off we start to run off course. Drawn out over years, you can end up very far from ourselves. The greater this distance, the more our lives are a mess and the anxiety we feel.
I can't believe I would come across a video that accurately describes how I feel about my 20s as a 32 year old now. In my case, it wasn't about validation, it was about not being bothered to "live". I really was going from one day to the next, not caring whether I was going to found dead somewhere someday. People called me a "loser" and I believed them. Turning 30 changed that. I turned my life around and while it isn't all rainbows and sunshine, I feel much happier. I still have a lot of regrets, particularly about the amount of years I spent doing nothing worthwhile. But I'm living for me now and the people I care about.
I used to obsessively read 20s advice in college on Quora and Reddit which made my 20s work out a bit more. However, because of this, I do deal with FOMO to the extreme that I have a desire to try almost everything before 30. Of course I was hit by the unexpected at times (difficulty starting career and chronic illness) but I made sure to try to have as many enriching experiences as possible while also managing finances and career. So far my 20s has taught me that life hits you when you least expect it. I take every negative and positive experience as a character building moment. My goal is to read 100 books b4 30, so that's what I'm currently working on. Again loved this video.
100 books before 30 years... I find that very cute and sweet, I myself have found the love of reading I find that it has awoken by brain and allows me to focus more at work. I like to read motivational and mastery help books! Keep keeping ass
I could relate to so much of this. My self esteem was as low as it gets in my 20's. Particularly ages 21-28. Like you I acted like a clown, desperately trying to fit in and impress other's. Going against all my moral values just to impress other's and stay in character. Like you I developed a serious problem with alcohol and cocaine. It led to me needing therapy and now I don't drink at all because I'm my real self. I'm now 31 and happier than I ever was in my twenties .The only thing I disagree on is saying it was a waste. I just see it as part of my journey and look back with pride at how far I've come.
Turning 30 in a week and I know I have wasted my 20's on weed, gaming and isolation. It's only since this year I have been trying to turn my life around and do journaling. Journaling has let to me knowing what I want with my life. We have all the answers inside, we just need to get them out. I wish everyone luck in finding out what they want in life
I just turned 30 the same month as you. I also wasted my 20s plating video games and drugs. Think of all the people that got to this age and said "fuck it, I already wasted my 20s, there's no point in trying now." And end up in a dead end job at 50 never knowing what truly messed them up. We are fortunate that we are able to learn this at such a young age. Let's be grateful that our time was well spent, it was spent learning on how NOT to live our lives. God bless you brother, and I pray you have the life thar brings you the most fulfillment possible. Were gonna make it, man.
one can tell that you’re working with a psychotherapist just from the way you speak your mind. It’s very important to use correct words, while speaking about your experiences. As you said - you could’ve “waisted” your 20s, but you didn’t “waste it”, but rather grew and learned from it and you’re GRATEFUL for it - not sad or regretting it. I’m 29 myself, just turned a couple of days ago, and I think that I’m also suffering from the psycho-somatic disorder caused by severe anxiety and depression , but I’m willing to do something to change it. You’re an inspiration and I hope everything is going to work out well for you!
Thank you for posting this. I am about to turn 28 and I was recently diagnosed with extremely high blood pressure. All that people pleasing, all that pretense, negative energy, I was so stressed out. I’m grateful for the enlightenment, for the diagnosis, I know it’s my body telling me to focus on what’s important, me, and no one else. People, listen to yourself, it’s important, don’t try to fit in, just try to understand yourself , your boundaries, your interests, your body. Ignore the world, do what makes you happy for you. As they say, how the hell can your love someone else if you don’t love yourself. I’m a new subscriber. Thank you once again.
I soon 28 too and sometimes I feel like I missed on a lot experiences due to my chronic fear and anxiety. I will use the remaining 2 year to enjoy myself a little more by taking more risk, make more mistake so that in my 30 I'll have no regret.
Similar thing happened to me when I started having stroke-like symptoms in my early 20s. I can't forget what my father told me. He said, "What do you still want to prove? You have already achieved enough." I never saw myself being someone so insecure, but maybe I was but just didn't really acknowledge it before that happened to me. Maybe I was also reassured for the first time in my life that my family thinks I did enough already. :))
I went through similar trajectory in my 20s. Now I am 33, and it was around the pandemic that I finally understood how I wasted my entire 20s, and a LOT of money, seeking external validation and on things that have no intrinsic value. Glad that you articulated it in such a good way.
Thanks for sharing your story, it helps a lot. I don't think anyone realizes just how difficult it is being in our 20's, trying to make it on our own and become an adult while still clinging to the idea that acceptance from others is everything. The best advice I can offer to people struggling is that (1) you always have hope - if you keep reminding yourself that you can get better and if you keep trying, you will eventually get better, and (2) you have to find someone to talk about how you feel with, whether it's a friend, a therapist, or just some random person that takes the same bus as you. You have to spill your thoughts and feelings out to another human to be able to better understand them and start to head in the right direction. Trying to get better yourself and hiding your struggles because you're embarrassed/don't want to be a nuisance/whatever will just make things worse and make it take longer to overcome your struggles. No matter how bad you think you've fucked up and how embarrassed you are by the decisions you make, there are people out there who won't judge you and just want you to get better.
You learn and grow so much in your 20’s. Comparing who I was in my early 20s vs late 20s almost seems like two different people. I was excited to turn 30 because I felt like my life was just beginning, with a little more wisdom under my belt.
The most liberating lesson I’ve learned in life is to learn how to not care. About what others think, about nonsense. About things that don’t really matter. Etc etc. It’s a lesson everyone should learn but some people never do. Let go of the petty and you will have the time and energy to focus on things that have real substance and meaning!
@@AdamariMedia I think there’s this idea that gets stuck in one’s mind that in order to stop caring, you have to lose something about yourself, or you’ll give up something that makes you special. But I will tell you now, it’s all an illusion. It’s a self-imposed barrier to growth. Nothing more. Someone once told me “don’t worship the sh#t” and that always stuck with me. It’s true. We tend to hold the bad things close to ourselves. But the truth is, it’s just garbage, a waste. Let it go, it doesn’t actually matter, learn to not care about it when it has no benefit. It takes time to really learn to not care. I even think it might be one of those things that just comes with age for most, like it’s just part of wisdom itself. Anyways, you’ll get there when it’s right for you.
Agreed! I care about others but not so much what they think of me now! I'm 43 and didn't really learn this lesson untill around age 41 after loosing so much irreplaceable that truly mattered to me in my 30's. But while I'm still heeling from grief that will never fully go away, I'm thankful for what I have and all to come. I'm thankful for learning from the school of hard knocks! 🌈🌠🌌🙂
@@SeemsLikeSomething this is me now! I tussle with accepting myself because I was this girl that cared about everything x now IDGAF. But, I worry I wont be me anymore. Its weird though because I love her x how she's fearless x cares less. Its a weird place to be in.
@@SeemsLikeSomething Thank you, I want to try to be more mindful when I notice the barrier up and try to let it go. It seems hard, but I hope I can start because that's how I've been living my whole life and it has prevented me from many things already, I used to not even be aware how much I actually cared.
I spent my 20s broke, struggling, & acting out on trauma which led to a ton of self sabotage. I wasted my time. I don’t know if I ever thought I was worthy of the lifestyle I saw my counterparts living but I wanted it. I did better in the early 20s vs the late but I feel like the struggle in my late 20s was just a processing of what I’d gone through, breaking generational curses & personal stuff. I’m super excited about my 30s and the abundance that is coming with it. I learned so much in this past decade. I’ll be 30 in about 19 days 🥇
About to turn 30 myself. I’m a father of two and married. Definitely “wasted” my early 20’s. Lost my dad in my mid twenties and a safety net with him. I resolved to turn my life around and that’s exactly what I did. Now I’m working toward a law degree. I lost 100lbs and got in shape. People are more capable than they allow themselves to believe.
Here I am 29.7 years old. At my lunch break, in a job I don’t “love”. It must’ve been fate to see this video. Looking back I’m right there with you bud. I think that humans are just social creatures and “fitting in” is so hardwired into how we evolved that we strive to achieve social acceptance. Failure to do so gives us stress and anxiety. We just want to be validated so badly. Things that have helped me so far are: staying off of social media, living humbly, saving money, exercising, appreciating nature, learning a new skill everyday, and changing my friends up to people with similar down to earth values. Let’s leave that stuff behind together bud, we’re gonna rock our 30’s now… then our 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and 80’s 😂. We’re gonna die with a smile on our face that we lived the rest of it the way we wanted it, in the best possible way, surrounded by the people that care about us. 👍🏽👍🏽 Thanks for the video again. God bless.
You watched this video 7 hrs before nd u r saying this video "helped" you to do right things in life So within 7 hrs you did right thingS in life ? Wow that's lot of time to change life ( Just jokin btw , call me a boomer if you want 😁🤘)
Boom growth is instant and also never ending. Strive to become better everyday yall and ignore all the negative aspects in a way u will find solution for the obstacles u come across in life💯
Appreciate you saying all this bro! Forreal. So enlightening. I'm currently 26, and I been trying my absolute best but the world always has a twist for me.
I’m 25 and feel the same way. To be honest, I know not so much people who truly enjoy their 20’s, so I’ve come to a conclusion that maybe it’s kinda normal to act like this. It’s a decade when we try to incorporate in society which isn’t so welcome to us. So we try our best to impress other people and play by their rules. We can consider this part of life as a necessary one which, unfortunately, will inevitably lead us to crisis. After that you can follow the same path and ruin everything - or to reset your mind, values and start a new chapter of your life.
It’s awesome to see people being self aware and achieving internal growth. Most people learn this much later in life and some die without learning at all. Proud of you.
Thank you. This video helped me a lot, I‘m 21 and i realized that i’m also doing EVERYTHING possible only to get people to think i’m cool, smart, and successful. I have been depressed this summer, and your video is a huge help. Your 20s are not wasted, you saved some people lives with your words and honesty. Thank u!
I think a lot of people are suffering from this, its good that you resolved it so early. I've heard people say you should aim to hit rock bottom as quickly as possible, I guess it rings true.
@@DavidMasson90 thanks for sharing your story David. Anxiety and alcohol /substance abuse is already a huge problem. I feel when people share their personal stories it can really help others feel they aren't alone too which could be the hope some need.
Just turned 30 and I can definitely relate to a lot of what you went through. These past 2 years have been hell and I’m still kinda working through it but I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. The clown analogy was perfect. You have a new sub in me.
I am literally going through this at this very moment, Lost my best friend a week after I turned 21 in one of the worst ways, and it affected me much deeper than I understood at the time, I self medicated and as the years went by it got worse and worse , I fell deeper into depression and addiction, Finally when I was 27, after so much time just floating through life, I began to understand the whys , what’s , where , who’s of my life, I started therapy, picked up consistent weightlifting again, worked on rewiring my brain through discipline, I also achieved a lot that year which showed me again what I was really capable of when I focused and had purpose and intention behind my actions, financially and physically, Now at 28, I’m very much aware of the life I want to live, I no longer self medicate and I feel myself on the path to greatness, It feels good to see other who have been though a similar path speak about it, like yourself, and let’s me know things will be ok!! Thanks for this video man and for sharing your journey.
Early 20s for me was aimlessly going through life binge drinking on weekends and partying and doing random jobs never getting promoted , no real drive. I'm 27 now off alcohol and drugs since January. A month into nofap. Have my own shed building company for over a year. Just recently ran my first marathon. Relationships with family and friends have never been better. Cold showers, intermittent fasting. I found just tackling one bad habit and creating one good habit at a time will snowball and subsequent successes come easily and naturally. Good luck Kings and Queens in this game called life.
@@mjoe7561 I would say generally easiest to hardest. Intermittent fasting and cold showers I've done for probably 4 years. Then came no drinking or drugs 6 months ago and that's been harder than the previous. Pretty new to nofap and that's been easily the hardest one to do lol hormones are no joke 😂 it's worth it though I'm telling you a nofap streak combined with a cold shower is one of the best feeling Ive ever had and it's a daily occurance.
I just hit 30 and I cannot bring myself to care about any job I've ever had. The only thing that make me feel something positive is partying and playing guitar. I cannot hold relationships because I get bored of seedling down, I feel the urge to just move and be by myself again. Friends are never true friends, just buddies. Man I can't play life the way everybody else plays it. It bores and depresses me. I happy for you though.
I'm 32 years old bro. I used to earn good money couple of years ago but I was stucked in a toxic relationship which completely destroyed me. I'm not complaining against the toxic partner and I take all the responsibility for my own actions. Right now I'm broke as hell, but still trying get out of this shithole. All the best Bro. Keep moving. We will reach the destination where we deserve to be.
I'm currently wasting my twenties but really want to make changes, struggling with social anxiety and depression for many years which has just ate the years away, not wanting to go outside has made it so much worse. I'm always trying to make a better version of myself but just feel like giving up at times. I don't want to waste anymore time than I already have.
Can't believe how accurately this portrays who I have been throughout my 20s as well. I'm 29 and finally awakening to the persona I've been feeding. Thank you for sharing this.
I literally never comment in videos, but I found this video so relatable. My entire personality feels like a performance and I've been at it for so long, I don't even remember who I truly am. I feel so lost. Your maturity and self reflection in this video is quite inspiring, as I hope to be as introspective and changing for good as yourself.
Imagine being 30 and NOT realizing mistakes / how to better yourself… TONS of people have done the same myself included, so welcome to the lucky self realization club my friend 🤝
Thanks for your story. I’ll be 28 in a couple of months and definitely feel like I’ve wasted my time. Your mindset helps for sure. I definitely have learned some lessons I wouldn’t have understood without going through the pain. Good luck to you!
Super relatable man. I’m 19 and my biggest fear is wasting time. However this tends to create a paradox where if you are always worried about wasting time, then therefore that constant worry becomes the waste of time. I think I need to stop worrying about the future and focus on the present. Take it step by step and it’s taken me this full year to realize it’s not a full sprint it’s a jogging marathon.
yea, you are your own lap, chase the ideas you have for yourself to improve, but also for others too when they need it. and if there are people who made it to win their ownselves, you can ask or analyze them how they figured themselves out, they can be your source of ideas on how to rise stay grounded
please, focus on your goal dont waste it your too young, dont become like me who waste my time for nothing now im 31 looking for something to fill up the time that i wasted,, 😕😕😕😕
I'm 29 and have been fighting with the "clown" for the past year, and finally today I called my boss to quit my recruiter job. Decided to reset my career and cherish my dream to become an interpreter. Thanks David, you encouraged me throughout making this big decision!
I can't recall how many times I've heard that one has to not care what others think of them just to live happily there are bunch of quite simple "rules" of life that seem to exist for hundreds of years, yet we people succeed at ignoring them completely thank you for an important reminder
For those wondering about my education and job: power engineer at an oil refinery in Canada.
2 year diploma at a tech school.
Hey man what did you do?
that thing thats missing in your Life is God. Just visit a local church in your area, or if there are any christian's you know, talk to them.
@@christiancarpenter5567 lmao 😂
@@se4949 whats so funny?
@@christiancarpenter5567 you are man you are
This wasn't a waste. You spent your 20's learning how you don't want to live. That is incredibly valuable. You have 60+ years left to grow.
Exactly. The worst way to spend your youth is by doing nothing and not learning anything.
Uh... 60+ years left?
This is what I came to say. The thing about being self-assured while young, and not having the people who you would listen to, tell/convince you of this (what you now know) is that you will have to discover it yourself. The beauty is that in the present, you have now jumped over that threshold.
Continue to be grateful, because it is just good fortune. Also, if you look around, you will find that there are many people (your agemates and older people) who think the way you used to think, but unfortunately for them, they may never have the same reckoning.
Time spent learning is not a waste, unless you view it through a different lens.
@avyyl How is that toxic? 90% of people don't see their 90's so that's a dumb thing to say to have 60+ years left.
@@Rico24337 Ikr I would be happy to reach 60...
I'm 27. Everyone expected great things from me.
I failed my engineering degree because I had trouble studying, I couldn't understand anything. Expelled, I pursued my talents and became a hyper realist sculptor. I drifted into full blown poverty. Went back to college and started my degree in business. 5 years of being adrift which could have been used to get that degree in the first place. A couple of days ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. That explains why I'm still not able to function as an adult. Next week I'll visit the bipolar disorder specialist. I'm optimistic about life. It's been awful, but it hasn't ended yet. Happiness is out there waiting for me.
Hey, I'm 29 and I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a little over 8 years ago. I also started college but was unable to complete my degree due to my mental illness. For a long time I thought I was just lazy or lacked the courage to endure the boredom of doing schoolwork, but thankfully my mindset shifted over time, especially after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It's not that I didn't care or had some character defect--I was sick, and having an illness, a disability, can make some things impossible, at least at certain times. Depression has been pretty awful for me and right now I'm coming out of the severest depressive episode I have yet had. I wish you the best, and I hope you and I both make it to that place called happiness.
@@pvrunner8 thanks man, very much appreciated 😊
👑 👈 dropped this king
@@verycoolboy458 thanks very cool boy 😊
@@STUNTHEINSECT You are gonna make it brah
I just turned 30. While I'm a janitor who doesn't drive and lives in a tiny 1 bedroom room apartment; I actually made a difference in so many lives. I've helped so many people from my daily job of keeping everyone clean and safe to the extra stuff I do like dressing as a Christmas elf and decorating the big trash bin and filling it with presents for all my coworkers and their families so they have something to unwrap on Christmas day. These are things we often overlook. We want everything now and tangible, but there are so many better things that will happen when God judges you for the intangible things that you've done for his children. I'd rather be a good person than a rich one.
your character is a greater treasure then what they have, preserve and maintain it and don't ever despair.
@@johnmandrake8829 thank you. I conquered dispair in my late teens and will do it again for The Lord is my bodyguard!
@@joebaumgart1146 and He alone is enough as a helper
Greetings fellow custodian or janitor! I'm so glad to hear someon else enjoys there job, when everyone else makes it seem like it's shitty... I love my job and it is important what we do everyday 🤘 Keep on keeping on man.
@@jdouglas9019 not only is it important in the basic sense of health and safety, but the service aspect. I would talk to our school janitor instead of the guidance counselor because I didn't want everything I said on record.
“I wanted to be the center of attention in other people’s worlds” Someone actually articulating that in words just made me realize that’s been my mindset for so long
Holy shit that’s deep
The external validation part rings so true for me right now as a mid-twenties professional who tries to gain respect by showing out with diamond earrings, gold rings, expensive suits, and all that material shit. Just made me do some real deep self-examination lol.
I feed cats because they are hungry and people abandoned them.
I burst into a sobbing tearful mess at hearing the words out loud. I’ve been crying for 11 hours straight this is so on point. I’m calling in sick for the next week and a half as a result of this.
I read a quote “ Whether you are extreme shy or extreme extrovert you fancy attention ” That was I am in two different situations .
I'm 23, and I can relate. Not only for myself, but others my age. Our generation's goal everyday is to impress others. Expensive clothes, Instagram pictures, all this bullsh*t that means nothing. Literally nothing. If I compare myself to when I was 18-20 to now, it's such an amazing change. I used to do things I hate to impress others. Now I do things I love for myself. Of course I'm still learning everyday, but I'm so glad I had this mindset shift at a young age. Great video man!
You are very wise for your age. I know people your age that are incredibly status seeking and thirsty for it. No wisdom or doing things for a greater purpose than sharing things on IG. Usually, that maturity you speak of comes with detachment to society and seeking who you really are and what YOU really care about.
@@nocando89 Most everyone wants to be somebody. Even people who are 40 and older are like that but especially the young.
This is me at 18 I try not always beat my self up trying to impress others and am struggling what I want to be
Same buddy hell yeah that's why I started a channel on here I kinda love video games and posting vids are kinda fun Hobby's are fun living without giving a shit and letting go of alot of things we were tricked into thinking flexing mattered or right like Instagram or having the nicest shit who cares we can't die with shit but ourselves take your extra things u don't need or use anymore and give it all away peoples problems is they also have money issues thinking it solves ur happiness when it don't it just fills voids and fake happy feelings then boom ur right back to the same shit feeling being humble help others and spread love be inlove find and love God that matters more than anything love and God is key and when you said it means nothing alot of shit don't like alot it's all distracting us from the truth but people will believe what they want but especially the small minded acting people they believe everything including there own government more than themselves lol can't trust the government 🤣 vaccines kill nowadays mad world 💯✌️
Instagram is the WORST. It made my mental health decline so rapidly that I found myself comparing everything about myself to other people that seemed "better". The day I got sick of feeling worthless because I couldn't measure up, and deleting almost every social media app I had, was the day I felt so much lighter.
i spent the last decade doing nothing, literally nothing, just lazed around feeling sorry for myself and basically sleeping my way through my 20s. depressed, no education, no steady job and really not doing anything to try to change it. I turned 31 this year, i got my diploma last year and got into uni studying film and have almost finished my first year, i got a great part time job that i love so I'm saving money for future goals, it's only to late to make changes if you never make them.
Inspiring me to do better. Next year i turn 23 years old.
@@Elysa284 damn, looks like we’re in the same boat. well good luck bud 🤝
@@saadvon good luck to you too 🎉
I turn 28 this month and I have done the same as you for my entire 20s and I'm trying to change that now but shit it's fucking hard. Glad you managed to turn things around for yourself. I hope I can do the same.
Heck ya dude. Keep pushing yourself
Will Durrant said: “The tragedy of life is that it gives us wisdom only when it has stolen youth.”
Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
I like Sartre's way of putting it better: "The youth is wasted on the young."
Much better to learn from the mistakes of others. When I was a budding 20 year old I worked construction. Still do and I’m fortunate to have a career I’m passionate about. But the old-timers weren’t shy about telling me to not waste my money, and spend it wisely; bolstered by tales of regret. Definitely should have listened 🤣
@@spencerbixby7819 we learn on mistakes of others through being taught by our caretakers/parents/family. And we learn our own lessons only by acting on what we believe is the right thing to do
well he's 30 he is technically quite young. and for men it's prime
Search Aubrey De Grey. He says we will be able to reverse aging soon.
In my 20’s I was fighting off my anxiety, depression and ptsd. I’ve slept most of my 20’s so I can escape realism. I hated my life and everything in it. Being 29 I’m finally seeking help and realizing that I’m not ashamed of wasting my 20’s.
Get used to it
I’m in the same boat as you brother. I hope you’re doing well and things are going better
Now I am suffering this, please help ms
No 20s are a waste. No matter where you go in the universe. You have to spend it one way or another.
All the best on your path.
Peace, joy and truth Brutha!!
Who didn't "waste" their 20's?
It's just called life. You live and you learn.
Like 1% of people lol but it’s worth hearing from others mistakes, unfortunately we don’t rlly listen to this until we’re around the same age 😂
Lol “Who didn’t waste their 20’s” -
I was wondering if anybody else was thinking this. I wasn’t gonna be the one to say it but I understand the thought.
@@KingOfFinance1 what should i do then so its not considered a waste
@@ryanmeneses5003 - That’s a good question. I’d say write down what are your hobbies. What’s fun to you. What do you enjoy and try to spend as much time as possible doing those things. Life’s short, it’s tough … the more time we spend actually doing quality things we enjoy the better.
@@KingOfFinance1 thanks. I am currently living that way not even realizing that’s what people wish they had done.
On my 30th I went to Egypt and looked at the pyramids and reflected on my life. I use to be real down about feeling like I wasted my 20s but it all hit me gazing at the pyramids. Nothing was wasted, everything was a chain effect that led to who I was today. I wasn’t where I wanted to be financially of course, but I totally felt at peace that day with myself. Life is all about perspective I feel really.
Perfect comment 🙌
Dude i absolutely love your comment it sounds like something out of a movie, seriously almost brought a tear to my eye..
Amazing comment. I love the visual. Thank you.
Bro this is exactly what I’m going to do in January lol when I turn 31
That sound great, my dude! To be at peace is all I want really, good on you :)
I’m 28 but I can’t tell you how much this resonated with me. Just deleted Instagram completely and started to focus on the hurt soul inside me. Time to heal…
I soon to be 28, no friends, no confidence and achievement. It hurt my soul to think about my lack of risk taking and social life. I've decided to use the last remaining days of the year to redirect my focus to a purposeful one. It's never too late, age just a number what matter it's your mindset and belief systems.
What did Instagram have to do with it lol Is it updated and reinstalled. Clear all that cache out.. Your on RUclips, whats good. Let me know how that works out. I might still be here.
I’m getting rid of my smartphone all together
@@pauleddymounombi2695 well first of all, thank god… THANK GOD you aren’t starving, you’re facing a common 1st world problem, that in no means puts down any of your problems, but really it’s just a mentality change that needs to happen, it’s normal to want friends but you have to break it down to why it hasn’t happened. Is it the way you look? Work out, is it lack of ambition? Research fun things to do and go chase it, whether it’s to walk across the Great Wall of china or help mentor people. Whatever it is that you want to do, it cannot be don’t by drowning yourself in sorrow. Things will only start to happen when you stop thinking and just do it. Look up the “2 minute rule” - good luck mr friend
@@juswolf22 instagram is evil especially them thirsty pics from ig models
Im 25 almost 26 and im realizing that everyone regrets something about their 20s. Im glad you have a positive mindset and I feel the same way. I regret certain things but if I hadn't gone through it I wouldn't have learned from it now.
I think everyone wastes their 20's in a sense. It's a decade for self discovery, often with mistakes. If you get to your 30's and learn from your past (but not dwell on it) and apply to your present and future you'll do just fine.
I agree
I needed to see this
We will have to develop a teleporter to find a planet with unlimited resources
nope, it's the time where you start growing
AMEN
I am in my late 20s and I feel this. We spend a lot of time and money trying to do things we don't want to do in order to impress people we don't even like.
This all boils down to our Ego. In our 30s our ego moves on to other things like being self-absorbing and not caring about others (since you feel you wasted your 20s caring impressing others). That's also a dangerous route that we need to avoid. Just be kind and compassionate, it's the best feeling and the more you give the more fulfilling our life will become.
I feel u
Wow thank god for me I live life they way I want to tho obviously cuz it's supposed to be your life to live not anyone else's tho so yeah. #yolo.
@@WiseOnion never seek validation from pure unconditional love can only be fulfilled by Jesus christ. The age of grace aka church age is soon coming to an end. The comforts that we enjoy and maybe taken granted for will be soon gone. World govts are colluding together at the expense of their own citizens to usher in new world order. New world order led by obama and pope francis is coming. Jesus christ is coming back for the rapture. Get ready. Dont believe the coming ufo alien abduction narrative. Refuse the coming mark on hand or forehead at all costs
Gary vee
I wish people would stop turning 30 years old and saying they wasted something. Most aren't even out of school until they're 22/23. The human brain isn't even fully developed until you're around 25. You're just finding your way through your 20s and figuring out who you really are. You have 50+ years left to live, and you will learn, grow, and change through out it. Everything will be OK. It's one small segment of life.
I guess
You are right the body and brain actually isn’t done until around 25 +/- 2-3 years for some in reality you just started truly started finding who you truly are
I'm 23 and doing nothing with my life. I honestly don't know what to do.
@@improvised1410 take it day by day, maybe talk to God, ask him for guidance. Jesus cares...and he answers. Remember, one day at a time.
Not everyone has 50+ years to live. Life is very short if you have forgotten..
As a 25 year old, seeing most of everyones comments made me realize that im not alone going through difficult mental health problems. As a matter of fact, we are all almost going through similar battles. This is honestly comforting because sometimes you feel all alone thinking that nobody understands how you’re feeling but here we all are. I wish that someday we all figure out our lives and overcome our battles. Just take it one step at a time, don’t put too much pressure on yourselves, and know that ALOT of people are also going through similar battles. Just fight through it, stay strong, and one day you’ll look back at the hardships you went through and be able to smile through it. We are all in this together.
30 is when life begins, especially when you've been through childhood trauma.
Can you elaborate on that point?🤔
I just turned 30, and you're so right.
Literally. I'm 29 and spent most of my life since age 16 living through or recovering from either abusive/toxic relationships or childhood trauma. I was not able to function like "normal" people.
I hope this is true💜hope things have looked up for you
This better be true cause I’ll be back here ready to fight if it’s not. Pls don’t give me false hope. 🥺
Reading these comments has really made me feel better to know that there's tons of other people just like me out there who are struggling with the realization that life is passing them by and they aren't where they want to be. I recently turned 28, and I'm currently struggling with feeling like I haven't accomplished what I should have by now. I didn't graduate college until I was nearly 26, I've never been in a real relationship, and I don't feel like I am developing much in my career. But, I have a steady income, my own place, and a paid for car, and I've lost 30 pounds in the last 6 months. Things can and will get better people, and seeing so many who are struggling just as I am, and those who have climbed out of it, makes me feel like I'm not so alone.
you are definitely not alone.
So many. Struggling
As humans we have this huge empty void we long for love and acceptance by others hence why we are always seeking validation by doing things that are essentially hollow and vain. The empty void in our hearts can only be fulfilled by the love of Jesus christ. Everything else is conditional and or temporary/fleeting. The age of grace aka church age is soon coming to an end. Dangerous times coming ahead for the world. World govts are colluding together at the expense of their own citizens to usher in new world order. New world order led by obama and pope francis is coming. Jesus christ is coming back for the rapture. Get ready. Dont believe the coming ufo alien abduction narrative. Refuse the coming mark on hand or forehead at all costs
We all seem to have such high expectations of ourselves to the point that it gets unhealhty, I mean I'm the same way. From my perspective graduating at 26 is really early and a huge achievement at that, but I know that if I was in the same situation I'd probably put myself under scrutiny for everything I did wrong and how late I was etc. even though I know there is no reason at all to dwell on the past I'd still do it and it'd take a toll on my mental health.
Life is about about silver linings and enjoying the peace every now and then. I turned 28 recently and I can relate to feeling inadequate: Remember, don't compare yourself to others, you're where you need to be in this moment. Appreciate what you have been able to do and the "what if I had" self hatred. If you spend all of your time regretting over the past, then you can't really grow. Focus on what you can learn.
To have this level of insight is insane! Coming from a psychology student, you are so self aware. Thank you for this video because I’m in my 20’s & it’s so relevant to my life as well as many other peoples my age
Thank you Jesse. I really appreciate that. I'm glad this video is relevant to you and many others. My awareness is a result of heavy therapy and counseling over the last two years.
damn man i wish everyone had this kinda awareness, i run into tons of trouble because I feel like I have this level of understanding, but most others dont. idfk if i had to implode to know myself or what, but i did implode about 5 years ago. im 36. I also dont know if psychedelic exoeriences help either. I feel they did but I wouldnt recommend that for everyone.
I did break down, but wasnt aiming for that. It happened.
Im 29, will be 30 in March. I had the same exact mindset you did through our 20s. It was all about the image but absolutely no fulfillment inside. I went from a 2016 Camaro SS ZL1 to a 98 Corolla over the last year because I didn't see the point in the image. I stopped shopping for clothes and going out on the weekends, I stopped drinking. I'm just focusing on my trucking career so that I can eventually start my own company, being in the weightroom 5 days a week to put on some muscle to boost confidence, and doing anything and everything I can to fix the relationship between me and my son's mother. All I want is to be successful and to have my family back. I had to bury that cocky, arrogant, self righteous moron that everyone thinks is me but truly isn't. This path I'm on has been hard but it's full filing to know I've got a plan with little goals set that I'm slowly but surely reaching with each passing day and I no longer care about the image and don't associate with people who will unfortunately continue to go down that negative path well into their 30s. we're gonna make it brah
@@daMillenialTrucker aye same! Ill be 30 as well on the 12th of March. Still working on myself and learning some new things to try see what i really want outta this life.
@@KVGerudo Acid is a Helluva drug... Been there, know exactly what you mean.
I’m 29 and I feel like most of my 20s have been a waste. They say they’re supposed to be the best years of life, but anxiety destroyed me from ever having a life. Oh well, here’s to hoping I will be able to live the life I never could in my 30s, or hell maybe even 29.
You get me… same age here.
I'm 30, it's been the same with me. Not only anxiety but a bit of depression, lots of panic, agoraphobia and whatnot. For me, 20's were the worst and super overrated, I don't know why people romanticize it so much. Everything is so childish and superficial, it's a phase where we think we're mature already, but we're really just teens on steroids dealing with a shitload of emotional problems and pressure from society (I think our whole generation knows that pretty well). 20's are usually a time for mistakes, self-discovery, low self-esteem, battling our own insecurities, etc. And it sucks even more that society thinks we should be able to take our most important life decisions at that age, which is ridiculous.
It's funny how most of us felt the urge to seek external validation and tried hard to belong or portray a "successful" imagine of ourselves to others as if it even mattered, just like when you're listening to a song and portray yourself as being the singer in a concert. We all have our aptitudes, abilities, etc that make us who we are, our very own essence. We're all unique and we'll deal with our own struggles. I feel like i'm finally able to become the best version of my trueself once and for all. In your 30's, you're way more mature for literally everything, you decisions, your relationships, your social life, your professional life, etc. I wouldn't have done anything differently. Life is simple, you live through what you have to live through and you don't look back. Your best years are yet to come. And remember this, it's NEVER a waste. You had to get through that to become who you are today.
@@traviswebb8003 have a wonderfull day
@@quackgarage9551 dont give up,you are beauthifull
Turn 29 lonely single no friends no family lost idk what the hell am doing???
My 20s were almost the negative image of yours, but just as bad. I saw the game everyone was playing and wanted no part in it. So I didn't pursue education or a career, was purposefully anti-social and spent most of my time being miserable on my own, drinking and playing video games.
At around 25 or 26 I realized how miserable and depressed I was , and really started soul searching and thinking about what I actually wanted out of life. I came to the conclusion my only real dream was having a happy family one day, and with that came the realization that wouldn't be happening if I kept on the way I was going.
I've since worked hard on my social skills and made a lot of friends, taken on new hobbies and started doing sports and I already feel like a new person. I've even started exploring the dating scene in search of my better half.
To everyone who's aimless and miserable out there: Think about what you truly want out of life and do whatever is necessary to get it! You can do it!
so realate
Thanks! You're proof that it's our choices and courage they make us who we are!
So relatable and im 20
THANK YOU!!! I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS 😊
I’m in the same boat you are, and have come to same conclusion that I want a family, but how may I ask did you improve on your social skills that’s something that I think is holding me back.
I experienced the same thing and I think it’s an advantage versus being a disadvantage. Once you realized you were wasting time now you are going straight up toward the right path without any doubts, hesitation and looking backward. It’s time to get clear,hyper focused and reach a place of joy and fulfillment. Really appreciate your honesty and openness brother
Glad you liked the vid. I agree with you.
@@DavidMasson90 Looking forward to see more videos.
I noticed this a lot as I entered my late teens and early twenties. There’s so much external pressure. I get called a prude for not wanting to drink. When I say no I’m always asked at least 5 more times and they bargain with “it’s only a little”. It’s definitely important to reflect on your values and set boundaries for yourself. For me, I’ve set a boundary with alcohol, and that’s hard for a lot of people to understand. Just stick to what you believe in guys.
Stick to yourself and take your time
Tbf alcohol tastes bad, and makes people stupid. I genuinely don't understand why people like it. I mean, if it was the old days when it was either alcohol or dirty polio creek water, sure. But now there's better options lol.
I'm starting to question my partying habits. Anyone who tells you to drink after you say you have bpundaries with alcohol isn't your friend. They dont respect you.
Those same people will admire that strength you show in those moments. Speaking from personal experience. It sucks now but it's worth it to set and stick to boundaries. If they change they change but it should be something you decided.
I’m 22 and used to like drinking but being emetophobic (the phobia of vomiting) made the times when I went too far truly awful. I had to stop alcohol for medical reasons (not related to alcohol, it just made drinking even the smallest amount of it nauseating) and I’m still afraid of what people would think or how I would do in parties and social events since I’ve pretty much never done that kind of stuff without drinking (as an adult). But after my first party without drinking, I was also relieved of how much better I felt when going to sleep and the following morning. I wasn’t as confident during that party as I was when I could drink, but those kind of things come with time and self care, and in the long run are way more beneficial in everyday life than needing a pint to stop worrying about stuff. Most of my friends like to get absolutely wasted to relieve stress, and I’m not judging them, but I’ve set my boundaries.
I'm 24 and I'm felling so lost lately. I feel I'm losing my 20's on social media, even though I don't post much I'm just watching others lives the whole day. It's like I'm not being the main character of my own life. I miss genuine happiness, stomach butterflies, love sparkles and having fun so so badly...
Life can be better. It is important that you stop comparing to others. You will always feel depressed and sad when you compare to other people, seeing that they have what you don't have. I struggled a lot with this, and I had a severe depression. We need to understand that you are the main protagonist in you life, you have a story being unfolded to you, not others. One of the most important things you can do when you feel down is reading the bible, especially the new testament and then putting your faith in Christ. Believe me when I tell you that when you come to have faith in Christ and follow Him, your life will change drastically. Especially when you understand that eternal life made possible through faith in Christ will be something so amazing that life on Earth will pale ln comparison. The struggles here are what is part of life, but after that there will be a time when there will be no more struggles or sadness ever, if you decide to put Christ first. I pray that you find your comfort. Remember that after bad things, good things will surely follow. Stay strong!
@@cristidenis531 omg thank you so much!!!
@@giulianag.3095 Get off Facebook and Instagram thank me later I'm 22 and I did it
Can we be friends? 😊
@@joshtt3240 simp
There's no blueprint for this thing called "life". Everybody has their own timelines and nothing is "wasted". Everything is a learning experience
Well said
@ALEX LEE exactly. Our own story
The lesson you learned at 10 years old can also be learned by another person at 60
Exactly dude or dudette
There are only a certain number of patterns though.
I wasted my 20s because I got married early. Then she left right before my 30s. It was jarring but I'm a better man now because of it
You’re a king stay strong
I’ve seen quite a few similar situations. “Waste” is a strong word. I’m sure you probably gained a lot of life experiences and life knowledge in that process of marriage that a lot of 20 year olds can’t get. You get wisdom from it !! Like you said you’re a better man because of it now. Some of those things you can’t put a price on even if the time might feel wasted.
You're high on the blue pill man
the waste is marrying the wrong woman. If you got married in your 30s and she left it would still be a waste.
@@skerion7956 - That is very true !! Well put.
Im 19 and im turning 20 in a couple of months. I can’t believe my childhood is coming to an end and is so overwhelming.
Relatable
same, last few months of being a teen sucks
Dude u still have ten years until your an adult adult. Lol Just use the time wisely. 😎
Me too
Coming? It’s been done lol
I wasted my 20’s trying to work and study myself into success. Now im 29 and am at the same place as everyone else except i never got to have any fun or free time
That's how I feel.I say do one day at a time.im in my 30s now.
That's sucks. I'm not exactly in the same boat, but it does feel shitty knowing that trying hard in high school and going through part of a college education means nothing when a high school dropout could literally work the exact same job I do right now.
That is terrifying to me as someone approaching 20
@@CaesarAugustus. what job do you work? A dropout getting a job that needs a college degree sounds unrealistic
@@cireniogonzalez9487 he said high school drop out. Most jobs in America will hire anyone, with or without a diploma
The real lesson is to spend your money on experiences, not things.
Spent my 20's, 30's, and 40's traveling on a bare bones budget. Never blew money on expensive cars, clothes (don't even own a suit), or places to live.
51 now, still don't feel the urge to blow my money on 'things'.
Same here. I "wasted" all my money in my 20s for travels and lived in small apartments, never regretted it. I dont need to impress others with things, how boring is it to live like this... been to Australia, Sri Lanka, Portugal, Spain, Colombia and much more to come. Life is to be enjoyed and explored, its not just jobs and status but people, places and moments that take your breath away. Many people my age compare their jobs with eachother and to me I feel its childish
@@vanessak7069 what did you all do for money?
@@vanessak7069 so how you get money?
If I could do it all over again, I would have traveled to Saudi Arabia or Dubai for work instead of partying with my time off.
@@TitanTubs regular corporate office job. I make a decent middle class wage, but I rarely buy any new clothes (don't even own a suit), and my car isn't anything that is going to catch someones eye as it passes. I blow money on bare bones travel, camera gear, and vinyl records.
I sometimes punish myself for having wasted so much time on my 20s. Now I'm 29, I've spent almost 2 years slowly killing my old self and bringing who I really am to the surface. Working out, saying no to the toxic friendships, having break ups that cured me of my needy behavior with women. I am creating the life I want now, even if it sucks now and then, the overall is that I am becoming a person that I am proud of. There's not coming back
Some people are 40, 50 and still never get out of that mindset about wanting to impress people. That's great that at your young age (30 is still very young my dad said and he's almost 70), that you're able to get mental clarity and have the desire to be mentally strong. I'm 37 and I am STILL insecure about how people view me. I do know that ultimately you can't control what other's think of you, so you're right about that!
Zz
I’m 27 and finally this year I stopped to just please everyone all the time and try to achieve things that other people respect. It is not an easy journey and I feel pretty lost right now, but I hope I’m in the right path.
I'm 26 and I feel you. This transition from seeking external validation to letting go of that and validating oneself is not easy at all.
Although not easy, I believe it is the right path.
@@axelmont what does it mean to not seek external validation, like can you show some examples past like not wearing super expensive clothes
Im 27 and i still live with my parents . Im too attached to my mom 😢
@@pepsiman4418 reading self improvement books, working out because it makes you feel good/is good for you, feeding your body with healthy foods, learning constantly (through work/study, travel, new hobbies etc.), spending time with people you enjoy the company of, and setting and achieving long-term goals. It’s all about self-care and doing things that make you feel good in the long run.
Crazy how I’m turning 22 and I already feel like this 😅 I guess I needed to watch this , redirect all my focus on me and my happiness. It’s a privilege to have such videos at a young age , it teaches us to make better decisions before we regret about it later.
Got plenty of time on yourside Cassie, I would honestly recommend buying or listening to Little Things Matter by Todd W Smith. It was absoulte game changer for me and inspired me too take action in my own life. Most importantly go out and enjoy your life.
I’m 21 and literally searched this because I feel so lost
Very true
I feel like this and I'm 19
Me too at 24 yo and I want to live for my self not to meat people expectations
i learned all this when i turned 29... I was one of the people where going out and drinking was my only personality trait. I couldn't do anything without alcohol. a year sober now, and its crazy how much alcohol is "needed" in society. I lost so many friends because i stopped drinking.
Keep it up dave. It's OK to lose friends, but most importantly you don't lose yourself. Eventually u will make new friendships. And they're gg to be supportive with what u do.
Congratulations on the 1 year sober!
I stopped drinking as well and I’m 24 and the amount of friends I lost are literally all of them lol I’ve had to find new things and hobbies and it’s been amazing and I know through time I will find more people like me and make friends with them! As of now my best friend is my girlfriend/fiancé
@@BeanBu is she able to handle your size?
I’m on the other end, feel like I’m losing a good friend to drinking becoming their only personality trait.
im currently 20 years old, soon to be 21. i think this is actually helped me to open my eyes as i am going through the same thing. after failing at a major my parents have chosen for me i decided to choose for myself and maybe live for me and not anyone else. i hope i can be able to live my authentic self even if others dont understand. thank you for this video, and sharing your experiences!
Same here!!! Will be 21 in about 23 days so this was really insightful. We've got this!
Same here, I'll turn 21 in 13 days, this was like something I needed to hear
I just turned 22 these days and i'm totally the same. I feel like i wasted the years from my life from 18 to 21 and now its like my eyes just open and im ready to pursue greater things and become more contented with myself. Wish u the best and to everyone going through it, we will succeed!❤
what major did they choose for you lol?
@@Alfred_-vp9ys you to small to be here little fella
Im 27 , and as a latina we are used to living with our parents at an older age but i cant help but to feel like a leech . . I have no kids and I recently got fired for doing something stupid… I haven’t found a job i like in a month but i hope by 30 i have my life figured out . Im lucky my parents are alive and im happy to be in a committed relationship for 10 years :) and i have a loving cat.
I can relate In a lot of things that you've mentioned, and the depression that comes with it sucks. I hope things get better for you soon.
Same here kitty kawaii
You'll Figure It Out. It's An Everyday Thing. Stay In The Moment And Take It Day By Day. I'm 22 And Have That Feeling, I Know Patience Is Key But Not Having A Consistent Income Living Here Makes Me Feel Like Rushing Myself. But Then What? I'll Have My Own Set Up But Will It Actually Be A Valid Set Up For Me & The Lifestyle I'd Like To Have. Not Tryna Leave Just To Come Back Even Tho I Know It's Possible Either Way Life Is Life, You Learn. So It's Best To Plan And Visualize And By Faith In Myself And The Universe The Life I Plan To Set Up For Myself Is One Of Constant Evolution On My Own.
@@angelaranda8899 thank you friend! Hope it gets better for both of us 🙏🏼
@@dennyjoy 🥺♥️
Im 28 and lived a similar life to you, deleted all my social media, sold all my designer crap and living a life more true to who I am. Don't care what other people think anymore and I was silly to focus on focusing on that for so long. I feel a lot more free now.
That's my Yolanda babe ☆
This is inspiring, thank you.
ruclips.net/video/swP2LeNefoM/видео.html
My husband drives a 20 years old car, and he works as a software engineer. That’s how I fall in love with him. He is not a show off.
I think that is great, I was wondering is it still showing off if you can afford it and if that’s what you want for yourself, not for other people to look at what you have?
I bet he shows off his computer gear hahaha
You are a wholesome women. Many women these days only go for the guys with the top notch cars and everything.
and thats why he loves u, wholesome
You fell in love because he has a good job... Hypergamy spotted !
I tell ya, I'm in an even worse position. I'm literally still seeking employment after college and I'm nearly 27 years old. I've always had an ego problem and low self-esteem solely because I'm a competitive person. The fact that I had fallen so far behind and didn't work out like how I should've was disgraceful. Good news is that I've been turning my life around and I'm bent on rising up.
Seems like you did a really good introspection. You can be proud! Not a lot of people are aware that they have an ego problem.
Read more books bro. Get audible. Start with youtube audiobooks and go down the rabbit hole
I have the same issue mate, only thing is I am 22 pushing 23 and have been realizing my mistakes and trying to correct myself,
@@loveVampirized Thanks. I've had a lot of time to think about my problems deeply.
woah, what's wrong with that?? i won't be done with my graduate program and will look for employment when i'm 27, too 🤨
I’m 23 turning 24 in a couple of months and I can honestly say for the first time in my life I know who I am. I am secure and know who I am, who I want to be and where I want to go.
I just had the hardest 18 months of my life but the wisdom I’ve gained is priceless and I am so privileged. One thing I’ve realised in life is everyone at some point has to go through this transition. Through childhood were groomed by our family, friends, school, society to be a specific version of ourselves. We become what everyone else wants us to be. There will have to be a point in your life you look within yourself and discover who you are. I can’t stress enough how painful that experience can be, you could feel like your whole life has been a lie, however it is the start of you living the life you chose. I used to feel so behind in life being 23 but now I feel so exited to start my life. I have the rest of my life to go and more experiences to have.
so true
Same story but different backgrounds.
I got a serious illness at 23. I'm still rebuilding my life at 32. Live fast, stay young. That's my motto
Sorry dude. Hope life is better for you
@@TheFlagUnit cheers bro. It's never how it should have been but it's much better than it was
I got a serious illness at 23 too i got pancreatitis from drinking myself close to death and they told me that it's chronic which i fully believed but after 2 years it magically healed to the point i'm feeling so much better now. Wish you the best!
@@V0ID_beats you too buddy. Onwards and upwards #healthiswealth
Good luck w dat
I'm 27 going on 28, near the end of my 20s. Something I realized is that previous generations romanticized the 20s and vilified 30s and 40s. The reality is, a lot of people do not truly start putting it together until their 30s. Sometimes, you have to enter the world and feel things out which is what your 20s are for. I'm going on my second degree and I really didn't figure out what I truly wanted to do with my life until last year. Mental illness is also a real thing, and a lot of mental disorders do not manifest until a person's 20s or 30s, both for men and women. Mental disorders can also be extremely difficult to catch until they reach a certain severity or progression. I'm diagnosed with severe grade major depressive disorder and ADHD, something that I didn't fully get under control until last year. Things take time.
Thank you for this reply. It helped a lot
I resognate with this as well
best comment ive read. this video was making me think about quitting a huge job im about to start.
Amen!
Bro life doesn't end when you turn 30 that's bs specially for men we as men never stop developing and improving ourslefs if you wasted your 20's like I did you still have your 30s and 40s to do better.
I'm same age as you and currently facing the same situation and I agree with everything you said. I plan to start a second degree too but I'm afraid that I'll fail again cause I suspect I have ADHD it's sooo hard for me to focus and remember or to express my thoughts and feelings like other people do. I feel like trauma and depression paralysed me throughout these years, it's hard for me to get up and fight..
*Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner*
― Lao Tzu
*To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment*
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
I've experienced a similar breakthrough that was painful at the time but it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Your video is very relatable, I did a complete 360 when I turned 23 - I realized I was living a life that was not authentic to me. Made me realize the extreme importance of being Based - living a life that is true to me regardless of the opinions of others.
Stay Based
I'm 33 and I'm nearing the end of a business PhD program which I absolutely did not enjoy and spent 8 years in (11 years if counting the 2 years I spent in an economics PhD and 1 gap year after that). I've struggled so much with anxiety and depression along the way, and made some very stupid life choices, like "self-medicating" with weed, spending tons of money I didn't have on video games just because I felt like I found a community there, and breaking up with a gf who loved me very much. Life in the last few years has been mostly like a blur to me, and it's as if I fast forwarded in life only to find out I know nothing about it at all. I'm now balding and also learning just how average I truly am as a person, whereas previously I had so much ego in me. I'm hoping to rebuild myself as a normal person and lead a healthy/productive life. Wishing everyone who's struggling in life to find their own path!
Dont give up my friend,you are still young,embrase who you are,and do your best,you are beauthifull,have a wonderfull day
Mate, I am so happy I've found your video. I am turning 29 this June and I can't believe how fast my 20s have gone by. I was always told in my late teens that I'd get somewhere in life, have the perfect home, get married have a family plus have a great stable career, etc. The sad thing is I've got none of those things yet. Most of my life has been working shite dead-end jobs hoping to get trained up or at least gain a qualification due to being a decade-long employee which never happened which hurt a lot and the rest was spent feeling sorry for myself drinking all the time.
I finally woke the fuck up a year ago and started really trying to rebuild myself up again after feeling like I was the only person in the world with this issue. It's hard man but everyone has a different journey in life.
Well done buddy keep going - there's a lot of suffering out there but also a lot of hope. I hope you see this
I'm currently 22yrs old and I can relate to this. Seeking external validation can really take a toll on our sanity, making us forget what we truly desire in life without having to consider other people's opinions. Thank you for sharing!
I am quite glad i can barely relate to this video and this comment
@@georgeosborn421 same. I'm 20 and can't relate at all. Never seen the value of impressing others. It's kinda stupid. Perks of being introverted i guess
@@HM-wn2in not really...I'm also an introvert but still crave and need external validation....I'm 19 btw..
@@abdullahhassan9544 never felt the urge for external validation. It requires too much energy for very little satification.
@@HM-wn2in im an introvert and spent the majority of my youth seeking validation from peers and my parents, never got it
The way that you've come so so far from being so concerned about what people think about you that you were suffering physical symptoms from that anxiety, to now being at the point where you can upload a video for all to see talking honestly about your flaws and essentially your own downfall... that's incredible man. You've come so damn far, that's really respectable. Good f**king job.
Exactly!!!!!
Thank you Annie.
Believe it or not. That's because "anxiety" or stress in general; is a physical symptom which when recurring can become physical sickness.
Some people who's around the age of 40 and 50 still don't know what they want to do but got stuck doing something else.
It is awesome that you managed to figure it out at the age of 30.
You described most people, EVERYONE is encouraged to be narcissistic and thrive to be the best to be acknowledged and be accepted by others. It's a mind game. The goal is to manipulate people, that's the way the game is played. It's all about getting people to compete, consume and produce.
My attitude is "Yup, I'm a loser, whatever winner, why do you care? Jealous?" 🤪
No seriously though. They really get jealous when they realize that people no longer want to "play the game" anymore. I quit caring and went for the one passion that I always had in life which involved living in Spain and improving my Spanish. I earned a double major in Spanish and Latin American studies and a M.A. in Spanish while studying abroad in Europe for both degrees. I of course posted pics as a traveled all around Spain, Portugal, France and Morocco. I was all of a sudden queen and getting a bunch of likes from everyone still playing the game never sat well with me. I remember posting a pic of my passport stamped with all of the countries I'd been to and a few "mean girls" asking me what they needed to do to get a passport. I actually began to feel sorry for them at that point. Smh!
@Ben Shapiro that's a great comeback🤓👍
@@josephwintrich7294 i was already crying out of realizarion and relatdness when this thought(mind you im from a religious background)...Theres is a passage at Holy Bible that says "He was crushed for our pain..."(kinda a profecy about the tragedy of life of Jesus)
@Jordan Peterson(i hope it could see it🗿)
Perfectly said.
Haha I like your quote. Gonna apply it to my life. Thanks!
I just turned 30 this weekend. Look man. 20s helped me learn alot about myself, my bad habits, my good traits and my bad traits. I grew more patient and wise. I learned how I dont want to spend my next 10 year run. I had fun, ups and downs. 20s are a learning process and it's not wasted if it's learned from. I am more self aware than ever, and I feel more like I found myself. Cheers.
Loved this. I turn 30 in 2 weeks & this is exactly how I feel about my 20s
Absolutely 🙌🙌 I love this. Nothing is wasted if you actually learn something.
This reminds me of the quote by Cooley: "I am not who you think I am. I am not who I think I am. I am who I think, you think I am" - it blew my mind when I first heard it. I'm glad you're in a better place David, I'm sure this video is one a lot of people will refer back to at different stages of their life.
Edit: yeah, the quote blew my mind too when I first heard it
🤯🤯
amazing quote
it takes me a moment lol to understand the quote. but now i get it .🤯woah
Damn
I’m almost 28. My 20’s have just been me battling my mental illness. I feel like it’s been wasted. I definitely do hope things get better. That I can find that correct treatment and get in the right mind set or at least a content one. We’ll see
Just dont give up. Remember that you are still young, so no need to panic in a sense that its too late or whatever.
Good luck 😊
Same, I’m 33 now and my entire 20’s were spend trying to figure out how my brain works. I figured some of it out and that tiny bit has already made a huge difference to my day to day functioning.
Feels like you need some type of Rite of Passage to be able to enjoy responsability and acceptance being a contributing adult in the community.
Hi again. I just wanted to tell you about one of my neighbors. She was a counselor and she said when she was young she had a dozen mental illnesses and even tried to commit suicide. She then decided to study psychology and her classes taught her so much about herself and her life and she became a certified counselor and now she helps teens and they can relate to her since she suffered what they are going through. She always said that an addict can best help an addict. So maybe you can enroll in psychology classes online or something and help others 😊
I'm 27 and I've had chronic anxiety my whole life. I always try to control things. Well it recently caught up to me and I developed gastritis. basically I couldn't eat because my stomach was so inflamed from stress. So I had to completely drop all my anxiety driven behaviors and really change how I operate. It is a blessing in disguise. Get well man.
I've anxiety as well, what did you do if you mind me asking you
@@neverlookback1244 biggest tip I can give is when you’re anxious about something, understand that whatever you are anxious about might happen is a lot easier than the stress you are putting yourself through on the inside.
I became a dad at 23 I found my 20s very productive now I'm 33 still in a relationship with the same woman since I was 19 I think I'm one of the lucky ones
if ur happy then u r one of the lucky ones
@@fpgam3r765 well we all have our ups and downs. I'd rather say I have no regrets
@@Commsfarage fair enough then i wld count u as lucky.
Congratulations 🎈 and all the best wishes to you 😇
@@PraveenSrJ01 thanks! getting married in 5 or so weeks time 3 kids down the line mortgage and everything it ain't easy but it worth it. Don't look back look forward enjoy want time you have left fck what everyone else thinks.
I am turning 30 in 2 months and I am horrified….I didn’t go partying, traveling etc in my 20’s because of depression and I feel so bad I never had “youth”
Damn bro same I’m 27 but I lost a lot of my youth my time too ...
Same I see everyone on social media doing all these things and I feel like I’m missing out and I don’t have any interesting stories to tell my life is boring
Same. I've decided to start seeking therapy and pursuing a career that I know will be difficult to get into but it's something I've wanted to do since high school but was told graphic design was oversaturated and it would be a waste to get into it. I have nothing but a hs diploma and am removing myself from an abusive relationship so I can start living an actual life..
My goodness we’re the same! It feels like my life during twenties have been dragged away from me. I will never get it back. I just wished I could turn back time and change the wrong paths I’ve taken😞
Same bro, but honestly no one ever invited me to parties or similar activities, so there it is.
I wasn’t financial free until my 30’s and I’m still in my 30’s, bought my second house already, earn on a monthly through passive income and got 4 out of 5 goals, just hope it encourages someone that it doesn’t matter if you don’t have any of them right now, you can start TODAY regardless your age INVEST and change your future! Investing is a grand choice I made. Great video! Thanks for sharing! Very inspiring!
Nice one Chris. Any investment tip?. I would love to know how you made it this far
Generally, investing requires higher knowledge. For this reason, It's important to have a solid support structure (financial consultant) to guide you through especially in asset picking. I operate with "Camille Alicia Garcia, An investment advisor who partners with a licensed wealth management firm. For the record, the experience has been the best for my finance. She is quite popular for her services so you might have heard of her.
@@hunter-bourke21 I value your recommendations. It's challenging to locate a trustworthy person. I could really use your investment advisor after seeing how much money you've made through investing. If you don't mind revealing her information, that is.
Many lack access to insightful knowledge, causing anxiety due to information gaps. Personally, I've earned $35k in passive income with "Camille Alicia Garcia, unaffected by market fluctuations.
Thanks, I just googled her I'm really impressed with her credentials. I reached out to her since I need all the assistance I can get.
As a 19 year old this is definitely the advice and wisdom i was seeking David Masson , Thank You
same
Same
Lucky
ruclips.net/video/swP2LeNefoM/видео.html
I am right where he is turning 30 this August
This video made me question my life and left an odd feeling.
You're definitely wasting your twenties if you're not trying to use the platform you built to get yourself somewhere further ahead, I wouldn't squander the opportunity you've already got I used to watch your videos a long time ago but I had no idea you stopped uploading like three years ago
mlg god
Thank you for all the videos you made bro they are awesome xXD
Hey it’s mr mlg 2014 dude
BRO, loved your videos back then, thanks for the good times!
I am 22 and I’m starting to realize my flaws now. I realize deep down I am extremely insecure and afraid of being judged or looked down upon. I try to dress well so i look good from the outside. I tend to not share the bad parts of my life with my friends and that has led me to lose some of my closer friends. I think this is one of the reasons why I have lost so many friends - I am not really vulnerable with many people. I am not a relatable person as a result. I am not really happy even though I am achieving great things in school and I try to seek validation from the external world. I wish to get to a point where my happiness comes from within and I am content with who I am.
Great thing you recognize that, it's good being honest to yourself. I understand how you feel and I know how you can get actual fulfillment from inside. I know it might sound weird to you at first, but giving Jesus a chance changes everything and it gives what you're looking for. By humbly seeking and asking Him to show Himself to you, He will do that in His own way and own time. It might not be what you expect, but you'll get the answer and eviedence eventually. Once you accept Jesus as lord, you get fulfillment and peace and happiness when doing good deeds, and it feels better than other things. You might not like what you're reading as of now, but giving Him a chance doesn't hurt to try. You have nothing to lose. Remember that patience is key and by not giving up the search immediately you will get what you're looking for. Alright take care brother!
I can relate. I am 29. And I felt like my 20s were wasted. I feel stuck while my friends and colleagues have moved on with their lives. When I was 25 my father almost died due to a heart attack then he had to have a heart transplant. I had to take time from school and play the role of a caregiver and work a job a I despised. Then in 2020 the pandemic happened and I was severely depressed, unemployed and still haven't gotten my degree. Not exactly the life I envisioned for myself at 29. After my father's illness I got very depressed and still am to an extent but I wish I could do my 20s differently. The regret and what could have been hurts when I look back.
Stay strong and finish your schooling. I actually lost my father at the age of 26. I’m 30 now my birthday was two days ago I’m still growing and I’m not letting anything stand in my way and neither should you! 😏😁
What’s messed up is im 27 rn and i started feeling the same way with anxiety in my body. It’s kinda nice to know you’re not alone going through these changes in your 20’s because when you’re going through things in life it feels like it’s only happening to you.
Same bro I’m 27 , anxiety has been with me all my 20s you not alone 💯
I'm 37m extreme introvert I wasted my 20s getting high and doing nothing but that. I'm learning to code now as a homeless person. I fucked up. This is my shot at life but it's so hard learning to code I wonder if I can even do it
This video is so important because what he mentioned on relying on external validation is predicated because our society is materialistic capitalist, it doesn't mean its inherently bad as capitalism can provide alot more freedom than other ideological frameworks in execution, its just for those who have a fragile sense of identity or someone who is sensitive to the expectations of others- can easily fall prey to what he was speaking on in this video and lead to a great deal of pain and suffering.
@@drankenstein5241 you got it brother , don't give up
oh yes, I deeply relate with you. I’m 35, spent whole 17 years trying to prove something to others, but slightly different way. I was/am workaholic, and I have an obsession to work hard to prove my worth. whole life I had a feeling that I’m worthless, and trying to produce of value at work is my hope to achieve worth for myself. last 3 years for me was hell, because I went to work for a company where I had to follow what is told to me and those orders in my opinion did not have a chance to prove my worth, and I could not do anything to fix it, so I went full blown anger stuff, started having panic attacks at the evening before going to sleep, developed some kind of insomnia. at one point my GF said to to visit therapist, because it was fucked up. so I also had ~2 years of intense therapy, it worked wonders. my mindset shifted significantly, I have stopped fighting with the rest of the world, and most of the time I feel peaceful. amazing feeling after a decade of suffering. so yea, I also wasted my 20s, and as you said I’m glad I did, because now I’m more mature person.
I’m happy and proud about your transition! respect and best wishes.
“It’s the perception of reality that’s stronger than reality itself. And that perception doesn’t exist. It’s not something tangible you can put your hands on. The perception comes from within. How you see the situation. How you see it is a lot different from what the reality actually is. In that sense, your perception of who you are is a stronger reality (i.e. judgement), than the actual reality of what other people see or what the base reality really is.” - Greg Plitt
RIP
I think you are right.This is a very profound concept. It's like our perception of ourselves is so appealing and ego driven and we are so afraid to face the reality of ourselves because it might not be acceptable to those around us that we get stuck in a fantasy of who we think we should be. I think our society's hyper focus on entertainment may make it worse too. It distracts us from the reality of ourselves and the way we should be truly living; which is unique to each person. Each person has an ideal day, spent doing an ideal thing, in an ideal environment, around ideal other personalities. When one of those things is off we start to run off course. Drawn out over years, you can end up very far from ourselves. The greater this distance, the more our lives are a mess and the anxiety we feel.
@@deplorablemike3349 well said
I’m 23 and have a big issue with rejection sensitivity. It’s encouraging to know it doesn’t have to be forever.
I can't believe I would come across a video that accurately describes how I feel about my 20s as a 32 year old now. In my case, it wasn't about validation, it was about not being bothered to "live". I really was going from one day to the next, not caring whether I was going to found dead somewhere someday. People called me a "loser" and I believed them.
Turning 30 changed that. I turned my life around and while it isn't all rainbows and sunshine, I feel much happier. I still have a lot of regrets, particularly about the amount of years I spent doing nothing worthwhile. But I'm living for me now and the people I care about.
I used to obsessively read 20s advice in college on Quora and Reddit which made my 20s work out a bit more. However, because of this, I do deal with FOMO to the extreme that I have a desire to try almost everything before 30. Of course I was hit by the unexpected at times (difficulty starting career and chronic illness) but I made sure to try to have as many enriching experiences as possible while also managing finances and career. So far my 20s has taught me that life hits you when you least expect it. I take every negative and positive experience as a character building moment. My goal is to read 100 books b4 30, so that's what I'm currently working on. Again loved this video.
100 books before 30 years... I find that very cute and sweet, I myself have found the love of reading I find that it has awoken by brain and allows me to focus more at work. I like to read motivational and mastery help books! Keep keeping ass
@@memyselfandi6303 Aw, thanks. Yea, I'm more focused on fiction now since I spent most of my teen years reading self-help books :) GL to you as well.
omg im a guy with some health issues and just started working at 23, i want to get into real estate, my health condition does not stop me
I could relate to so much of this. My self esteem was as low as it gets in my 20's. Particularly ages 21-28. Like you I acted like a clown, desperately trying to fit in and impress other's. Going against all my moral values just to impress other's and stay in character. Like you I developed a serious problem with alcohol and cocaine. It led to me needing therapy and now I don't drink at all because I'm my real self. I'm now 31 and happier than I ever was in my twenties .The only thing I disagree on is saying it was a waste. I just see it as part of my journey and look back with pride at how far I've come.
Turning 30 in a week and I know I have wasted my 20's on weed, gaming and isolation. It's only since this year I have been trying to turn my life around and do journaling. Journaling has let to me knowing what I want with my life. We have all the answers inside, we just need to get them out. I wish everyone luck in finding out what they want in life
Happy birthday bro I feel u trust me
I just turned 30 the same month as you. I also wasted my 20s plating video games and drugs. Think of all the people that got to this age and said "fuck it, I already wasted my 20s, there's no point in trying now." And end up in a dead end job at 50 never knowing what truly messed them up. We are fortunate that we are able to learn this at such a young age. Let's be grateful that our time was well spent, it was spent learning on how NOT to live our lives. God bless you brother, and I pray you have the life thar brings you the most fulfillment possible. Were gonna make it, man.
one can tell that you’re working with a psychotherapist just from the way you speak your mind. It’s very important to use correct words, while speaking about your experiences. As you said - you could’ve “waisted” your 20s, but you didn’t “waste it”, but rather grew and learned from it and you’re GRATEFUL for it - not sad or regretting it. I’m 29 myself, just turned a couple of days ago, and I think that I’m also suffering from the psycho-somatic disorder caused by severe anxiety and depression , but I’m willing to do something to change it. You’re an inspiration and I hope everything is going to work out well for you!
Thank you for posting this. I am about to turn 28 and I was recently diagnosed with extremely high blood pressure. All that people pleasing, all that pretense, negative energy, I was so stressed out. I’m grateful for the enlightenment, for the diagnosis, I know it’s my body telling me to focus on what’s important, me, and no one else. People, listen to yourself, it’s important, don’t try to fit in, just try to understand yourself , your boundaries, your interests, your body. Ignore the world, do what makes you happy for you. As they say, how the hell can your love someone else if you don’t love yourself. I’m a new subscriber. Thank you once again.
I soon 28 too and sometimes I feel like I missed on a lot experiences due to my chronic fear and anxiety. I will use the remaining 2 year to enjoy myself a little more by taking more risk, make more mistake so that in my 30 I'll have no regret.
Similar thing happened to me when I started having stroke-like symptoms in my early 20s. I can't forget what my father told me. He said, "What do you still want to prove? You have already achieved enough." I never saw myself being someone so insecure, but maybe I was but just didn't really acknowledge it before that happened to me. Maybe I was also reassured for the first time in my life that my family thinks I did enough already. :))
I went through similar trajectory in my 20s. Now I am 33, and it was around the pandemic that I finally understood how I wasted my entire 20s, and a LOT of money, seeking external validation and on things that have no intrinsic value. Glad that you articulated it in such a good way.
Same here
Thanks for sharing your story, it helps a lot. I don't think anyone realizes just how difficult it is being in our 20's, trying to make it on our own and become an adult while still clinging to the idea that acceptance from others is everything.
The best advice I can offer to people struggling is that (1) you always have hope - if you keep reminding yourself that you can get better and if you keep trying, you will eventually get better, and (2) you have to find someone to talk about how you feel with, whether it's a friend, a therapist, or just some random person that takes the same bus as you. You have to spill your thoughts and feelings out to another human to be able to better understand them and start to head in the right direction. Trying to get better yourself and hiding your struggles because you're embarrassed/don't want to be a nuisance/whatever will just make things worse and make it take longer to overcome your struggles. No matter how bad you think you've fucked up and how embarrassed you are by the decisions you make, there are people out there who won't judge you and just want you to get better.
You learn and grow so much in your 20’s. Comparing who I was in my early 20s vs late 20s almost seems like two different people. I was excited to turn 30 because I felt like my life was just beginning, with a little more wisdom under my belt.
30s not old
The most liberating lesson I’ve learned in life is to learn how to not care. About what others think, about nonsense. About things that don’t really matter. Etc etc. It’s a lesson everyone should learn but some people never do. Let go of the petty and you will have the time and energy to focus on things that have real substance and meaning!
I think this is one of the things that is keeping me blocked from really advancing and growing
@@AdamariMedia I think there’s this idea that gets stuck in one’s mind that in order to stop caring, you have to lose something about yourself, or you’ll give up something that makes you special. But I will tell you now, it’s all an illusion. It’s a self-imposed barrier to growth. Nothing more. Someone once told me “don’t worship the sh#t” and that always stuck with me. It’s true. We tend to hold the bad things close to ourselves. But the truth is, it’s just garbage, a waste. Let it go, it doesn’t actually matter, learn to not care about it when it has no benefit. It takes time to really learn to not care. I even think it might be one of those things that just comes with age for most, like it’s just part of wisdom itself. Anyways, you’ll get there when it’s right for you.
Agreed! I care about others but not so much what they think of me now! I'm 43 and didn't really learn this lesson untill around age 41 after loosing so much irreplaceable that truly mattered to me in my 30's. But while I'm still heeling from grief that will never fully go away, I'm thankful for what I have and all to come. I'm thankful for learning from the school of hard knocks! 🌈🌠🌌🙂
@@SeemsLikeSomething this is me now! I tussle with accepting myself because I was this girl that cared about everything x now IDGAF. But, I worry I wont be me anymore. Its weird though because I love her x how she's fearless x cares less. Its a weird place to be in.
@@SeemsLikeSomething Thank you, I want to try to be more mindful when I notice the barrier up and try to let it go. It seems hard, but I hope I can start because that's how I've been living my whole life and it has prevented me from many things already, I used to not even be aware how much I actually cared.
I spent my 20s broke, struggling, & acting out on trauma which led to a ton of self sabotage. I wasted my time. I don’t know if I ever thought I was worthy of the lifestyle I saw my counterparts living but I wanted it. I did better in the early 20s vs the late but I feel like the struggle in my late 20s was just a processing of what I’d gone through, breaking generational curses & personal stuff. I’m super excited about my 30s and the abundance that is coming with it. I learned so much in this past decade. I’ll be 30 in about 19 days 🥇
About to turn 30 myself. I’m a father of two and married. Definitely “wasted” my early 20’s. Lost my dad in my mid twenties and a safety net with him. I resolved to turn my life around and that’s exactly what I did. Now I’m working toward a law degree. I lost 100lbs and got in shape. People are more capable than they allow themselves to believe.
This is awesome. As a 28 year old currently going through those break downs, it’s comforting to see someone else reach the other side. Inspirational!
Here I am 29.7 years old. At my lunch break, in a job I don’t “love”. It must’ve been fate to see this video. Looking back I’m right there with you bud. I think that humans are just social creatures and “fitting in” is so hardwired into how we evolved that we strive to achieve social acceptance. Failure to do so gives us stress and anxiety. We just want to be validated so badly.
Things that have helped me so far are: staying off of social media, living humbly, saving money, exercising, appreciating nature, learning a new skill everyday, and changing my friends up to people with similar down to earth values.
Let’s leave that stuff behind together bud, we’re gonna rock our 30’s now… then our 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and 80’s 😂. We’re gonna die with a smile on our face that we lived the rest of it the way we wanted it, in the best possible way, surrounded by the people that care about us. 👍🏽👍🏽 Thanks for the video again. God bless.
"29.7" it's so cute when people say their ages that way
Thanks for sharing, this was comforting 😊
We will rock the rest of our lives for sure 💪🏻
@@thaynaradamaceno6171 ikr 😂 dude could’ve rounded up, but thought 29.7 sounded better
Thank you sure, I'm 21 and you helped do the right things in life!
You watched this video 7 hrs before nd u r saying this video "helped" you to do right things in life
So within 7 hrs you did right thingS in life ?
Wow that's lot of time to change life
( Just jokin btw , call me a boomer if you want 😁🤘)
Boom growth is instant and also never ending. Strive to become better everyday yall and ignore all the negative aspects in a way u will find solution for the obstacles u come across in life💯
You dont look 21 tho
Lmao
@@successkim7920 how old do I look?😂
@@akshay850 boomer😂😂😂😂
Appreciate you saying all this bro! Forreal. So enlightening. I'm currently 26, and I been trying my absolute best but the world always has a twist for me.
I’m 25 and feel the same way. To be honest, I know not so much people who truly enjoy their 20’s, so I’ve come to a conclusion that maybe it’s kinda normal to act like this. It’s a decade when we try to incorporate in society which isn’t so welcome to us. So we try our best to impress other people and play by their rules. We can consider this part of life as a necessary one which, unfortunately, will inevitably lead us to crisis. After that you can follow the same path and ruin everything - or to reset your mind, values and start a new chapter of your life.
Never was a waste. In fact, you've impacted many people like me with your testimony. Amazing video man.
It’s awesome to see people being self aware and achieving internal growth. Most people learn this much later in life and some die without learning at all. Proud of you.
Thank you. This video helped me a lot, I‘m 21 and i realized that i’m also doing EVERYTHING possible only to get people to think i’m cool, smart, and successful.
I have been depressed this summer, and your video is a huge help.
Your 20s are not wasted, you saved some people lives with your words and honesty.
Thank u!
I think a lot of people are suffering from this, its good that you resolved it so early. I've heard people say you should aim to hit rock bottom as quickly as possible, I guess it rings true.
This was immensely insightful. Thank you so much, reshaped my whole perspective
Glad it was helpful!
@@DavidMasson90 thanks for sharing your story David. Anxiety and alcohol /substance abuse is already a huge problem. I feel when people share their personal stories it can really help others feel they aren't alone too which could be the hope some need.
Just turned 30 and I can definitely relate to a lot of what you went through. These past 2 years have been hell and I’m still kinda working through it but I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. The clown analogy was perfect. You have a new sub in me.
Wow sorry. My late 20's was not bad!
Source: 2011-2013
@S V Asian (Filipina) Me Huh..?? What are you even getting at by posting that under his comment? 😒🥴
I am literally going through this at this very moment,
Lost my best friend a week after I turned 21 in one of the worst ways, and it affected me much deeper than I understood at the time,
I self medicated and as the years went by it got worse and worse , I fell deeper into depression and addiction,
Finally when I was 27, after so much time just floating through life, I began to understand the whys , what’s , where , who’s of my life,
I started therapy, picked up consistent weightlifting again, worked on rewiring my brain through discipline, I also achieved a lot that year which showed me again what I was really capable of when I focused and had purpose and intention behind my actions, financially and physically,
Now at 28, I’m very much aware of the life I want to live, I no longer self medicate and I feel myself on the path to greatness,
It feels good to see other who have been though a similar path speak about it, like yourself, and let’s me know things will be ok!! Thanks for this video man and for sharing your journey.
Jee wat u Doin inlife rn G🔥
Early 20s for me was aimlessly going through life binge drinking on weekends and partying and doing random jobs never getting promoted , no real drive. I'm 27 now off alcohol and drugs since January. A month into nofap. Have my own shed building company for over a year. Just recently ran my first marathon. Relationships with family and friends have never been better. Cold showers, intermittent fasting. I found just tackling one bad habit and creating one good habit at a time will snowball and subsequent successes come easily and naturally. Good luck Kings and Queens in this game called life.
What order did you tackle the habits?
@@mjoe7561 I would say generally easiest to hardest. Intermittent fasting and cold showers I've done for probably 4 years. Then came no drinking or drugs 6 months ago and that's been harder than the previous. Pretty new to nofap and that's been easily the hardest one to do lol hormones are no joke 😂 it's worth it though I'm telling you a nofap streak combined with a cold shower is one of the best feeling Ive ever had and it's a daily occurance.
nofap is bullshit unless you're a porn addict
I just hit 30 and I cannot bring myself to care about any job I've ever had. The only thing that make me feel something positive is partying and playing guitar. I cannot hold relationships because I get bored of seedling down, I feel the urge to just move and be by myself again. Friends are never true friends, just buddies. Man I can't play life the way everybody else plays it. It bores and depresses me. I happy for you though.
@@borek92 sounds like your lifestyle would be good in a band if you are not already in one. Good luck King!
I'm 32 years old bro. I used to earn good money couple of years ago but I was stucked in a toxic relationship which completely destroyed me. I'm not complaining against the toxic partner and I take all the responsibility for my own actions. Right now I'm broke as hell, but still trying get out of this shithole.
All the best Bro. Keep moving. We will reach the destination where we deserve to be.
This wasn't a waste. You spent your 20's learning how you don't want to live. That is incredibly valuable.
This comment is literally below the same comment by someone else lmao
Lmaoooo thief
and here you are copy / pasting a comment for external validation.. you probably didn’t even bother to watch the video
I'm currently wasting my twenties but really want to make changes, struggling with social anxiety and depression for many years which has just ate the years away, not wanting to go outside has made it so much worse. I'm always trying to make a better version of myself but just feel like giving up at times. I don't want to waste anymore time than I already have.
Can't believe how accurately this portrays who I have been throughout my 20s as well. I'm 29 and finally awakening to the persona I've been feeding. Thank you for sharing this.
I literally never comment in videos, but I found this video so relatable. My entire personality feels like a performance and I've been at it for so long, I don't even remember who I truly am. I feel so lost.
Your maturity and self reflection in this video is quite inspiring, as I hope to be as introspective and changing for good as yourself.
Love the Venom profile pic!
Imagine being 30 and NOT realizing mistakes / how to better yourself… TONS of people have done the same myself included, so welcome to the lucky self realization club my friend 🤝
Thanks for your story. I’ll be 28 in a couple of months and definitely feel like I’ve wasted my time. Your mindset helps for sure. I definitely have learned some lessons I wouldn’t have understood without going through the pain. Good luck to you!
Super relatable man. I’m 19 and my biggest fear is wasting time. However this tends to create a paradox where if you are always worried about wasting time, then therefore that constant worry becomes the waste of time. I think I need to stop worrying about the future and focus on the present. Take it step by step and it’s taken me this full year to realize it’s not a full sprint it’s a jogging marathon.
you only 19 bud.
power in NOW.
Good luck bud, you will be very happy and successful if you will allow yourself to be it.
yea, you are your own lap, chase the ideas you have for yourself to improve, but also for others too when they need it.
and if there are people who made it to win their ownselves, you can ask or analyze them how they figured themselves out, they can be your source of ideas on how to rise
stay grounded
Why do you value not wasting time?
Wow are you me??
please, focus on your goal dont waste it your too young, dont become like me who waste my time for nothing now im 31 looking for something to fill up the time that i wasted,, 😕😕😕😕
I'm 29 and have been fighting with the "clown" for the past year, and finally today I called my boss to quit my recruiter job. Decided to reset my career and cherish my dream to become an interpreter. Thanks David, you encouraged me throughout making this big decision!
How’d it go?
@@Ray-rt1og Fortunately I have a good relationship with my boss so all went well! Thanks for asking 😊
You can do it!
@@Joseph-C Thank you! you are so kind. Will do my best!
ruclips.net/video/ieNrAd5iOOM/видео.html
I can't recall how many times I've heard that one has to not care what others think of them just to live happily
there are bunch of quite simple "rules" of life that seem to exist for hundreds of years, yet we people succeed at ignoring them completely
thank you for an important reminder