To put a late example, I can't stop thinking about the possibility of having felt asleep for an interview which was a requisite to be studying for a master I'm in right now. The thing is...I, in fact, laid back in my bed and felt asleep for some minutes, so there is some element of truth to my "catastrophic scenario". But now I'm studying for said master and everything's ok...except for the fact that I think about that "almost-event" everytime I have to study for my courses. And I think it would've been the end of the world if I were refused from it. So there is some "rationaity" behind this mental illness. That's why it's so difficult for me to change my thoughts and my behavior. But I also understand the practical irrationality of being thinking about an "almost-event" everytime, when, in fact, nothing happened and it wouldn't have been the end of the world. But damn it would have been a big mistake.
I always feel like I "betrayed" my bf, by looking at other people, by finding other people attractive, by having sexual fantasies about other men. While I realized at some point that this may be ocd, since I had OCD for a long time, my brain remembered a specific fantasy I had and likes and now feel completely guilty for having it. I don't know how I can ever do #8. I don't think that I can live with the fact that I will never know if what I did was wrong or right... But I'll try, even if my OCD is screaming at me that I am just making it up to forget something genuinely horrible... If you have any word of advice, please tell me!!!
My real event OCD comes with a lot of shame, almost like my brain is looking for reasons to make me feel bad. It also overlaps with other themes. Sometimes it feels so real that it's difficult to believe it's OCD..
You're so right. It does bring a lot of shame. That's a huge part of treatment. We often have to separate feelings and thoughts and focus on the present moment.
@@ocdandanxiety definitely! It's just so difficult when I'm trying to do something nice for myself, or just enjoy my day and my brain goes "wait what are you doing, you're supposed to feel ashamed, you're not allowed to do stuff you like!" 🥴
@@mariatobin7519 same here, but we can get better! Community is everything. Do you have people you can talk to who share your experience, like a support group? Going to groups helps me a lot!
Yeah. Until this month (this week really) I thought it was not only normal but *necessary* to be haunted by things that you’ve done and disapprove of. Even things from years ago that were done as kids and mostly inconsequential, I’ve always seen it as an “educational opportunity“ to be a better person and understand the consequences that your actions have on those around you. I’ve only ever wanted to be the best me I can be, and in the process I really hurt myself. I only ever wanted to subsume the burden I felt I had unintentionally put on other people and instead took on the responsibility of a guilt that is *not real* Just as anybody is allowed to make mistakes and move on, your past self was allowed to make mistakes and move on. Your current self is allowed to make mistakes and move on, as is your future self.
Oh my am I grateful for your video. I’ve been struggling a lot for the past two weeks specifically with what I think is real event OCD, everything you’ve said is me to a T, it gives me hope to know I’m not the only one and thank you so much for the advice.
I really appreciate these videos man. But what if you did something really bad, that you fit the definition of the person that does those things, but you feel and know that you're not like them? The uncertainty is filling me with a lot of stress and suffering.
In my own situation you kinda have to stop even caring and just accept the thoughts, the fact that you did something bad in your eyes and now feel bad just reinforce that you're not that person. We have to understand that the past really doesn't have to have power but our brains will continuously throw stuff at us so just gotta be like "oh yeah I know that's ocd, maybe I am a terrible person, oh well"
i realised bad people don't worry about the things they do, they just get up and go with it with no real conscious thought. this reassured me, especially to the extent of my guilt and worry - i don't believe any bad person would make themselves suffer this way
I get told that it never happened or I remember it wrong, oh well it's to late now. So I just stopped telling them anything now I just sit and silently cry having so many thoughts in my head screaming at the same time
Does anyone else’s bad memories sort of build? like because i’m thinking about it so much more comes it the surface? i’m not sure what to do anymore it’s just constant
I want to spell out my real event ocd I participated in a competitive exam to enter engineering college. I passed the exam, results came online , but a official result was supposed to be send via mail. But die to some address issue, i never got that. I took admission in college , they took undertaking that i will submit that later. I forgot, and they never asked. I passed out in 2016, and got my degree and now doing my job. But i always get this fear ,that college will call me and cancell my degree as i did not submit the original version of result. It's haunting me day and night. It makes me feel, that i have something wrong, but in reality i only did study and pass the exams.
Very sad, I have cut my isolation from 10 days to 9 days, and i cant stop punishing myself and keep feeling guilty for going out on the 9th day instead of waiting for the end of isolation while im positive. Is that a part of real event ocd? And how can i make sure I haven’t hurt anyone and how can i forgive myself for doing that
To put a late example, I can't stop thinking about the possibility of having felt asleep for an interview which was a requisite to be studying for a master I'm in right now. The thing is...I, in fact, laid back in my bed and felt asleep for some minutes, so there is some element of truth to my "catastrophic scenario". But now I'm studying for said master and everything's ok...except for the fact that I think about that "almost-event" everytime I have to study for my courses. And I think it would've been the end of the world if I were refused from it. So there is some "rationaity" behind this mental illness. That's why it's so difficult for me to change my thoughts and my behavior. But I also understand the practical irrationality of being thinking about an "almost event" everytime, when, in fact, nothing happened and the outcome wouldn't have been the end of the world or my career. But it would have been a big mistake damn.
the really frustrating thing about confession compulsions is that no matter how many people tell me that what happened isn't a big deal, the ocd tells me they're biased or I'm not telling them enough or they must just be wrong there's no way to satisfy it, but it still feels like it's eating me alive
It is actually 😪😪. Try to schedule research and education for a time instead of when you feel anxiety to avoid it becoming compulsive ❤️. I allow myself to watch if it’s in my recommended but I will NOT ruminate over OCD symptoms for fun
eh, it depends what mindset your coming in with. if your searching for these videos because your just generally curious, then it isn't. but, if you come in with a mindset of "how can I fix this?", or "how can I feel better?", that is a compulsion
@@jhew4337 but if it is a compulsion and if you’re doing this to feel better… trying to apply the tips from this video so you can improve your situation about your OCD theme will still help?
As somebody who suffered for years I found my salvation in a simple response of “I don’t know” I was bombarded by multiple memories and thousands upon thousands of relentless questions until they just went away. I offered nothing more than “I don’t know” No matter how impossible it felt to move on, no matter how terrifying it was, no matter the guilt, no matter the shame, no matter how desperate it felt. The thoughts went away. I honestly hope my experience can help someone to move on with their life. But ultimately “I don’t know” 😄
Hello! Now that you say you’re healed, do you still have some of those thoughts sometimes, do you still feel guilt about those events from time to time or it does go away completely and you can actually live?
@@justagirl9074 I have episodes now and again but always find my way back. The only way I can describe it is that you won’t realise your better, it will just happen
@@justagirl9074 I’m not saying I do it perfect because I assume we all have a different way of dealing with it. But as soon as the thought or question pops in my head. I say I don’t know. Then I refuse to ask more questions on the subject. It took me a long time to work out that was one of my compulsions. I thought it was the obsession asking the questions but it was really me looking for reassurance. It’s hard to begin with then it gets easier and you don’t have to do it all anymore. You can do this!
@@craigharrington7745 Thank you for you answer! I was kind of hoping you would tell me it has gone away for good because I was periods of time when I am better almost normal, but then it hits me out of the blue and I feel like i have do to it all over again, and simply thinking “I am finally ok” and realising your doubts were not true and then you ocd comes back and tells you you weren’t right it’s so disturbing. I feel like this is the worst thing that happened to me and unfortunately I don’t see the way out of it. Like a permanent solution. Thank you!
@@justagirl9074 everytime it gets easier to get back to normal. I had 8 months of 2020 with no ocd. Their is no ultimate solution, it’s part of who we are, it’s hard to remember that life was never always perfect even before you realised you had ocd. The more you worry about it coming back the more you feed the likelihood it’s going to come back. Almost like an obsession within itself!
My brain recycles different experiences on a weekly basis. It tells me that I’m horrible and that I’m going to end up being a felon or serial killer because I’ve done some stupid things as a teenager. I have a week without any symptoms then it crashes over me like large wave and then I go back to 24/7 rumination about the experiences. This is getting rough
Reviewing the Tips: 1. Use your obsessions to understand yourself 2. Make a list of what gets neglected in your life because of compulsions 3. "If I let these thoughts and emotions determine what I do in the next few minutes or an hour, will it get me closer to the person I want to be or will it move me even futher away" 4. Put a visible reminder somewhere that it's OCD is the issue. Not the past event 5. Practice self-compassion 6. Do not try to get rid of your thoughts and emotions 7. Ban rumination 8. Be willing to live with the fact that your scary thoughts may be right 9. Seek treatment 10. Make sure that your therapist specializes in OCD and practice ERP
I have done things in my past that are bad. My OCD uses this to reassure I'm a bad person. The guilt of the past and the fear of intrusive thoughts can be overwhelming at times where I cant breathe or be comfortable. I cant help ruminating as I need to KNOW I'm not a bad person. This video helps and the comments do as well. Does anyone else feel this way, extreme guilt and fear of uncertainty? Thanks for the videos, you're calm demeanor and understanding give me hope
We all done bad things some worse than others. Myself included. Regrets and guilt all natural emotion. And with ocd it’s worse than the average person but in this horrible feeling we feel we must not lose who we TRULY are now. Even if we were per se a bad person earlier in our lives we aren’t no longer and now we want to be good and give kindness and love to others we need to remember this is us and know we are good people no matter what our brain wants us to believe. It’s time to take back our lives! Baby steps if need be but do so in the right direction
Your videos are helping me a lot. In my early 20s, while struggling with alcohol, I did a lot of stupid things. Around seven whole years later, even longer for some of these things, I am now two years sober but these memories are popping into my head consistently and causing loads of shame. It drives me to believe I will experience consequences in the future and that I should not pursue a music career that could possibly make me famous or something. I am now having other strange anxiety related attacks and panic attacks centered on some of these memories, occasionally leading to borderline blackouts though. I think I need to start making the push for uncertainty.
Yes bro push for uncertainty. I am in this boat with you. Let's try and beat the torment together. I am on my way to work now. But it's more like I'm on my way to sit in a different chair while I battle my regrets for 8 hours before going home and doing it again. Is this ok for anyone? My objective self says "hell no." But my mind says "sit down and shut the fuck up while I drag all this old shit up again"
Art helps the world. Still do it! I can relate to all of this. I have a sneaky suspicion that everyone has made mistakes! So if everyone stopped pushing for their passion, inventing things, creating (because of their guilt and fear of cancellation) The world would just stop! Unconditional self acceptance is what I’m trying to do
As much as I know I have OCD, the things I have done in the past aren't small. I believe I deserve to be punished for them, even if it's just beating myself up mentally about it. I don't want to be oblivious to what I've done and blame it on OCD.
You are not Alone. The best thing is to reach out to Jesus Christ he is our sheperd And we Are his sheep. If you ask for forgiveness and repent through prayers, he will forget and forgive. And if he had forgotten about it you should too. 🙂❤️ Good luck
I also feel same i did something horrible in past and i feel like i get away with it and im scared it will come back to haunt me so my mind keep saying"you dont deserve this you dont deserve to be happy"but i find this channel so i can say we do have ocd thats why its called real life event ocd its not normal to something stuck on your mind even tho ITS HORRIBLE it not gonna help us it not gonna help you its not gonna help me its not gonna help anyone who affected by our actions so please i know you think you dont deserve anything but being stuck on old action wont help either but do you know what can help?learning from it if you regret your action then you doing great already i cannot speak if you are a good or bad person but i can say you are a person you are a human being you being here talking about this means you are trying i say make amend if you can but if you couldnt thats also fine
I feel the same way, but recently started learning about unconditional acceptance. More or less is about accepting yourself regardless of what has happened. Is not about “letting ourselves off the hook” we can still feel regret over our actions without tormenting ourselves. Simply learn from your mistakes learn to live in uncertainty, don’t seek validation or approval. & most important don’t rate yourself
And when it's mixed up with false memory and saying that I had bad intentions which I literally like never thought about It's so painful and the anxiety is so extreme that I cant do anything about it even though deep down I know it's not real I can't do anything but cry
I've been there for 30 days A real event turned into a false memory (even though I've thought of this memory multiple times) now ot changed to the absolute worst case scenario. My heart is with you while we figure this out.
@@BaileyNicole89 it went on like this for 7 or more days but now it's bearable I have decided I am not going to feel guilty at all but something I didn't do or thought of It's going to pass anyway
The same thing happened to me! Idk what caused it, but it was a year after it happened that my mind put it in my head again and gave me the false memory of “ok but what was your intention? Did you convey your intentions in a way that got it across?” And then that thought is what caused me to get stuck in a loop ruminating.
Remember you are not an exception. You are trying your best like most other humans on this earth. It's not like you're uniquely evil. Other people don't talk about these things because they can be shameful and they don't have an obligation to bring it up or dwell on it. Please seek ERP therapy and get your life back on track. That is what I am doing. I know it feels so threatening, but you can do it.
I really suffer with this one. I suddenly remember things I did or thought or felt months or years ago and feel just crushed by it until I'm disconnected from reality and I just can't believe I could have not only done the thing but not realized how bad it was until now.
Is it normal in ocd to feel that you don’t know what’s true and what’s not true about you or a situation or anything really mostly unsure about yourself? I get this all the time
Yes my OCD can fill in the blanks in memories I am re-running compulsively as and I don't know if I'm remembering more or having false memories so I have to re-run even more.
Hi, I suffer from this too. How do I deal with triggers, meaning whenever I do something that makes me feel happy or satisfied; a voice inside me tells me that "Wait you dont deserve this! Start feeling bad right now!" Can I ever stop those thoughts from being triggered? Also thank you for making this video!
This has been a really tough thing for me for the past three weeks. I am currently obsessing over some pretty bad stuff i did as 12 year old without noticing it by then. It also overlapses with my moral scrupulosity OCD and my POCD, especially this one. It makes me feel like I'm worthless and a bad person and like i don't deserve a good and fulfilling future. It stands in the way of healing myself and connecting with people and simply living in the present. Thoughts like "I am a horrible monster and everyone around me is normal and can enjoy a deserved happy life and I don't" are daily basis. I also suffer from extreme disconnection from reality, my friends, my family and mostly myself. I look in the mirror and don't know who i am anymore and i feel no empathy for my reflection. It causes s*icidual thoughts even tho i actually love life and don't want to d*e. What i did doesn't align with my values at all and the most terrible thing is that i am incapable of forgiving myself or showing myself compassion. I just want to be normal and i want to do school and love myself but i feel so undeserving of love
if I imagine someone I love, or a child maybe, having the same thoughts & feelings I'm having, it helps me see those thoughts & feelings in a different way. I would have compassion & understanding for the loved one, and i wouldn't want them to think & feel that way. Then I try to give myself the same understanding & compassion. You are not alone in what you're going through, and I'll pray for you today.
This made me realize I value kids and being nice to others. I have POCD and when I get scared of the thoughts, I want to protect them from the threat, I'm the type of guy if he sees a child in danger of a pedo, I want to save the child, protect it. I fear being like a pedo due to my sexual abuse when I was 13 by a classmate, he was older than I and had took advantage of me by calling it a game. - and being nice to others, I can't stand to hurt someone's feelings, when I hurt someone, I start OCDing about it. This video helped a lot!!
I've had these kinds of obsessions too. In the UK when I was a teen up the tabloid press was full of stories about child abuse. One paper was even going as far to promote vigilantism against perpetrators, threatening to publish their addresses etc. So there was a real moral panic about paedophilia at the time. So I shouldn't be surprised in the slightest that my OCD jumped on this subject matter. This video teaches me that I value children's safety and wish to protect them rather than to harm them.
I’m glad you made this video, because I genuinely didn’t know this was a thing and incorrectly assumed it was just me experiencing flashbacks from my PTSD. The lens of OCD makes a LOT more sense when applied to my experiences.
I envision "the mists of time." We want to erase it. But we can't change the past. So instead, we can leave it in the past. Allow your brain to forget it even happened. Envision the mists of time, and allow them to have that moment, instead of you. It's not who you are. It was just a stumble. Stand up now, in the present moment.
But what I can do if I know that I did bad mistake in the past or even hurt people who care about me I feel so guilty and bad I can't just forgive myself and I feel like I don't deserve anything good just like you said in the video... Anyway I really appreciate you and this channel, I don't know if it's a compulsion but when it's getting too hard to handle on my own like right now, watching your video makes me feel a little bit better and calm maybe a compulsion I know but just an hour ago I was in a panic attack mood feeling like I can't breathe feeling on the edge totally out of control like I was going crazy and scary things I feel suic**al.. And then I take my phone just to try to focus on something else, found this video because I'm subscribed to this channel and start watching, not only what you saying but also how you are saying, like the way you talk.. Makes me feel better like I'm not alone in this, so thank you.. And I'm sorry if this was a long comment and maybe it's not correct because I'm Italian so my English is not good. Anyway I wish you and everyone who is reading this a good night and remember you are not alone, stay strong ❤️
Also it's so hard because in this case ocd focus on something you really did it's not just a thought it's true, you did those things.. So how can I forgive me for what I did, how I can't feel horrible about myself for this? I can't move on, and when I feel better then I start to feel guilty about feeling better cause I'm like hey you can't feel good about yourself or are you OK with what you did? You don't care? So you must be even worse if you don't pay attention to what you did. Anyway I did it so there is nothing I can do to fix this and it makes me feel really bad. Again sorry for the long message.
@@siljabergsen5776 thank you ❤️ sometimes I talk to my husband or my mom but I don't really share everything 'cause I'm ashamed of being and feeling this way.. Again thank you for your comment ❤️
I have POCD since a couple months ago I remembered a deed that i've done almost 7 years ago... No, don't worry, i did not harm anyone, I don't have any desire to kids, but my mind tries to prove the controversary with every of it's power. It's just feels so real i cannot make a difference between reality and those feelings that I felt that time. I was a stupid youngster at the time. Still, now, when I want a family, I just stasrted to imagine how I want to raise my children and oops, those memories just hit me suddenly from nowhere and tries to prove me I have sick urges... This is so terrible szometimes I just cannot tell you. I cried since many times, thinking I'm a horrible person, who can never have a family. Even if I know it's OCD, I cannot make a peace with my mind. However, you videos helps a lot, thank you.
I’ve been having real event ocd from impulses that I’ve done this year and it’s the worst feeling I’ve ever had. My main ocd theme is self harm thoughts, but now it’s mainly focused on real events in which I feel like I’m going to get in trouble from. I have to reassure myself that nothing bad happened from my ocd impulses and that I’m not in trouble, but my brain won’t let me move on.
One thing I noticed is that Real Event Ocd makes me feel extremely awful and terrible about these events but when I actually look at the events, it aint really something that serious. Its like my ocd has put an extreme tide of anxiety and guilt that's not really compatible with the real events themselves
I think that the worst part about having real event ocd is the need to confess all the time.Personally i wanted all the time to confess my thoughts because i felt i was gonna explode or sth.Then i regretted the fact that i was oversharing to persons..i was afraid that my darkest thoughts were gonna be known to everyone(more anxiety),but i was responsible to this because I WAS OVERSHARING TO EVERYONE. my ocd stopped about 10 months after by its own,when it was too late.I cant believe i left those meaningfull thoughts destroy my life and my mind.I swear to god they were really silly thoughts.But i couldnt control my guilt and shame.I do better now,but i cant forgive myself i left those thoughts to have a big impact to my life...
My theme rn is especially awful... I remembered something I did or thought/ imagined a while ago. The thing is I can’t put it in the past because it might mean some about me right now. This is awful. There is so much more to it also... man puberty was rough.
Hi! I know exactly how you feel. My main real event OCD theme is especially awful too, and it makes me feel like such a terrible person, even gives me intrusive thoughts and makes me feel/believe that I’m still that bad person. Mine happened around puberty too, and I agree puberty was so rough for me too! You’re not alone :)
@@chloeeve2370 puberty seems to bring a battle for every person emerging out of it. This seems to be ours. All the best to all of us 💕 we can continue and get better and deserve to be happy like everyone we know around us wants to see from us.
I've always felt like my brain is searching for a shitty thing I did like a phone trying to connect to a wifi signal. Then I confess, feel better for maybe 30 minutes and then my brain connects to a new past event.
While watching this my mind kept screaming: “why are you watching this? You don’t have ocd. What you did was bad and now it’s your time to pay, stop looking for a way around it.” It’s hard not to listen when the voice is so loud…
How do you treat real-event OCD when you have so many different types of real events and false memories that pop up? I am starting the process for ERP and would love any advice! Thank you. 😊
Every time I think about anything, my brain connects it back. I can't sleep, I can't even sit blanky without thinking about it. Thanks for this. It's helping a bit.
This has always been my biggest struggle, i just seemed to get over my last bout but ocd is throwing a new thought and morphing a situation that I know what actually happened. Any tips to kinda move past that? I assume it would be the same as the last just kinda sucks to have my brain do this lol
My OCD is all about guilt of my past. Once I cheated my friend(at very minor level) and she doesn't know about it.I don't want to make her angry and don't wanna talk to her but My stupid OCD really pins me down everyday about guilt and forced me to do apologize to her and Hurt yourself by losing your favorite things to make her happy(I know it's really non sense but my OCD force me to think like that)
Types of OCD's I have: • SELF HARM OCD - fear of me being a masochist which causes me to feel turned on when in pain, also known as groinal response. • LESBIAN OCD - I am scared of being a lesbian, sometimes my brain tells me that I am in love with my same sex friend. I also worry that I am a transgender and that I am a Male in denial of not being transgender. • RELATIONSHIP OCD - my brain tells me that I am not in love with my special person because I suddenly turned into a lesbian somehow. OR my brain tells me that I am not in love with my special person because I feel calm around my favorite person.
then still it doesn't serve you in anyway to punish yourself for it by replaying the event and dwelling onto it. do not let your mind convince you that you deserve this. no matter how big it was you can not change the past so do not let your mind convince you that it is moral to do this to you. if you stay present you will be able to do what you need to do naturally
It makes me so scared, and makes me feel so alone. I cried twice in your video. For almost 33 years now i have had a horrible always-evolving form of OCD.
When I first started puberty, like it’s peak, I did some regretful sexual things as a teen that are HAUNTING me, it’s as if I gave into some urges, then immediately regretted it. I never did any of those things again as I know they go against my character and morals. I’m obsessing and obsessing about the past.
@@chickenlittle4014 No! Really? It’s inappropriate to ask a stranger about past “details” about their personal, intimate issues! Especially in a public forum! Get a clue!
We all do things that we regret from the past. I know I have! I think back, “I can’t believe I was ever in that mindset to do those things!” “I was so stupid, then!” But, just knowing you’re remorseful and have the ability now, to realize those past things were wrong, means you have matured in many ways. 💕
As bad as it sounds I keep saying I wish I had another theme, another form of mental health. I've done multiple bad things especially in my teens. I keep relating childhood trauma as the answer, or what if I really am just evil, what if this what if that etc. Researching, reassurance. I wouldn't dream of doing what I've done now. I've spent the past couple years doing compulsions trying to hide the thoughts, occasionally crumbling and having periods of time in bed, no energy, body in agony for weeks on end. No matter what I do it relates to the past and the situations that have happened. I keep thinking that if I beat OCD it'll go away... But if I lose the guilt then I'm agreeing. I try to say things like "it happened who cares" "I don't care" I've only just started this approach, it'll take time for it to have an effect... Spending the past 10 years thinking the opposite is a hard habit to break.
I particualrly appreciate your point on traditional cbt therapy. Ive not found it to be the most helpful and coudln’t figure out why. Tying into real event ocd, I DID have an extremely bad therapist who didn’t understand me when I said that I’m aware and have tried using regular CBT for years with little success. This really helps put that in perspective , and simply using a different approach is much more likely to help, overall. Thank you for all the work you do!!
Hi, I have watched so many of your youtube videos. I have to say after I watched them, I reduced my sking picking tremendously. But after that week, my reason for stopping the skin picking was not for me, it was for other people mostly, so that’s why I started doing it again and I was attacking my sking more than before. But the after I watched this video and started to take care of me first, I stopped the sking picking for me, first time in my life, the reason for stopping was actually me this time...and it’s working. I am now expozing myself to my sking and not touching it, to show my OCD, I am in charge, I can actually be in control of my behavior. I am so happy for me. Thank you!
Thank you for this. I've always had ocd, but my third trimester of pregnancy (my 1st pregnancy) has dramatically amplified my ocd and I feel guilty for every thought/feeling I've ever had. And I have the compulsion to constantly confess. I've learned to stop that though, because I'm driving my poor husband insane. I feel more "normal" now after seeing your video. Thank you for shedding some light on this condition for me
Im 35 years old and am finally learning that i have this. It never felt like a big part of my life and i always thought it was just anxiety that came and went. This video helped me tremendously to learn what im actually dealing with and what kind of treatment to look for. Thank you.
I’m so grateful for your videos…I’ve never met you but you have helped me immensely just understand how my brain works and realize all the things that seem so real, so big in my head are actually normal for people with OCD minds. I keep making myself wrong when certain methods don’t work or I buy into certain thoughts, like people get frustrated I don’t let them go based on logic, but it’s just the way my brain works! Thank you so much for these videos! EDIT: I have a few things that were real event OCD but until this video I just thought they were actually unsolved things I needed to deal with-but really loud in my head and taking me out of the moment. This is the first time I’ve heard of Real Event OCD and it really helps me realize what was going on! Again, thank you!
i just wanna say thank u for improving my life, i didn’t seek professional help yet bec i’m afraid to tell my parents, but watching ur videos makes me feel relieved and assures me that i’m not alone, i’m not a bad person, and that most of the stuff i’m going through is mostly mental. thank u so much
Anyone here offering some tips or is everyone just compulsively seeking reassurance in internet? I actually hoped someone will come by who has made some progress in his o her life
Your videos are superb, Nathan. Very thoughtful and considerate and full of insights that are rarely available elsewhere delivered in a calm, straightforward way. Thanks so much for all you do.
I'm so so glad I found this video. All my life I've struggled with different types of OCD but Real Event OCD is by far the worst. Until I researched this and found out it was a real thing, I genuinely thought I was going crazy. Like there was something inherently wrong with my brain which, I guess, there is. But hearing your solutions and seeing that other people experience the same thing has already helped me so much. Thank you for making these videos. I finally feel validated, instead of bottling up my anxieties or simply being told 'just don't worry!' You're a godsend, and I thank you.
Yes, real event OCD is by far the worst out there. I didn’t know either, that this was what I was experiencing. It can be so debilitating to live with.
I have a very important question, what positive affirmations are okay too use? Like is it okay too tell myself that im going too be okay? And that I'm strong? Things like that?
Thanks Nathan! Knowing that I might be struggling with this will allow me to look at these methods to deal with my issues instead of just continuing to allow myself to overthink the event. I guess that's a step in the right direction!
It you have asked God for help and he has forgiven you already, then you start asking for forgiveness to God multiple times, to be reassured of the forgiven sin, it is known as a compulsion. You must resist compulsing in order to find relief from anxious thoughts.
@@sian8538 , what if you slept with someone you didn't love, letting that person know you there is no commitment from your side whatsoever but then realizing after 3 years that the person got serious about you, you parted ways- that person probably married a wrong guy and got divorced . That kind of a thing ?
@@sian8538 how will it really go away. There are bouts of this which come after every few months and then it keeps hanging in the background of the mind and definitely doesn't allow body to relax and be fully there in the moment. Is talking to the person you feel guilty about a good option ?
@@Ashish-nd3xj I’m guessing you feel that talking to them would offer you some form of reassurance or relief , right? when you have OCD this is literally impossible to achieve , reassurance seeking is a compulsion and you are only adding fuel to the fire. The best way to deal with OCD is to learn to sit with the uncertainty, do not fight it or it will get worse. By doing compulsions or reciting the event over and over again in your head feeds OCD. I recommend you watch some videos about why reassurance seeking is bad. You will overcome this , don’t let OCD win (:
I’ve been struggling with this lately, completely forgot to wear a mask while i was walking behind my house, if think it wasn’t even mandatory because it isn’t a crowded place but i felt so bad when i crossed people who weren’t wearing masks either, now i can’t do anything but thinking about it and appliying a crazy amount of pressure on my eye to punish myself, i keep picturing myself telling people that i forgot my mask and them telling me how big of a mistake it was
I'm sorry you've had this to go through. I've had mask-related and other COVID-related thoughts, too. And the fear of spreading the virus...I feel like the pandemic hasn't been the easiest for some of us with OCD.
I completely agree with you since the pandemic started i have had so many OCD related to that but this one is very difficult for me, we want to have control over something that is completely out of hands since it started, i guess we have to remember that we are humans and be a little bit more kind with ourself, i’ve seen people not wearing masks willingly in public places and i’m pretty sure they are not punishing themself as we do lol, we should have more compassion for ourself
Thank you so much for this video I've been struggling with this and I didn't know that this is called real event ocd and i was thinking I've gone mad and i didn't know what to do and because this was getting worst i was having intrusive thoughts as well and it's really difficult to deal with it but your video makes it easy and get to know that I'm not the only one who is suffering from this
Hi, I would say I’m doing recovery from OCD and Telling myself it doesn’t matter, but sometimes I can’t just Not think about it or try to fix it, because they involve real life things and is reality based, and sometimes I worry about like if my OCD starts Accepting My intrusive thoughts as Fact, because it actually happened, and my dumb brain starts making “accept” this new “life”? Cause my brain is weird af like that, it works hardest to just try to make me feel better, and I think it tries to make me feel better by accepting this cognitively.
How can you open up to a therapist about very private things and not be massively depressed and anxious after you leave their office? It sounds terrifying if you feel vulnerable to start with
Sometimes, when I get across someone or something and the mind sort of gets triggered, there is like a war that goes on in the mind. I can't decide what to feel, Am I scared, attracted or whatever? And when the trigger goes away, I'm like why did all this happen. Why was I scared? There is no point of being scared. But I realize that the mind just fears something and it's all an illusion created by the mind due to some past experience it has gone through. And nothing outside triggers it, but the mind itself.
Can you please give me some insight? Is the constant obsessive fear that I was abused as a child (no signs, just a weird random thought that popped up one day and I can’t stop thinking about) a form of false memory or OCD? I KNOW I was not abused but I can’t stop obsessing or looking for proof that I was. I feel like no one talks about this and I feel so alone
I struggle with real event false memory that plays on past intrusive thoughts and makes me question whether I did something or not. It’s especially hard when it’s something you’ve ruminated on before because the lines become even more blurry between real and false. This is something that happened 12 years ago and I’ve been stuck for 2 months on it. It’s awful.
How do you experience Real Event OCD? 👍🏻
I hate myself so much for pulling my hair out and picking my skin. I can't let it go!!!!
To put a late example, I can't stop thinking about the possibility of having felt asleep for an interview which was a requisite to be studying for a master I'm in right now. The thing is...I, in fact, laid back in my bed and felt asleep for some minutes, so there is some element of truth to my "catastrophic scenario". But now I'm studying for said master and everything's ok...except for the fact that I think about that "almost-event" everytime I have to study for my courses. And I think it would've been the end of the world if I were refused from it. So there is some "rationaity" behind this mental illness. That's why it's so difficult for me to change my thoughts and my behavior. But I also understand the practical irrationality of being thinking about an "almost-event" everytime, when, in fact, nothing happened and it wouldn't have been the end of the world. But damn it would have been a big mistake.
I always feel like I "betrayed" my bf, by looking at other people, by finding other people attractive, by having sexual fantasies about other men.
While I realized at some point that this may be ocd, since I had OCD for a long time, my brain remembered a specific fantasy I had and likes and now feel completely guilty for having it.
I don't know how I can ever do #8. I don't think that I can live with the fact that I will never know if what I did was wrong or right... But I'll try, even if my OCD is screaming at me that I am just making it up to forget something genuinely horrible...
If you have any word of advice, please tell me!!!
Taboo pornography I saw years ago that my ocd uses to guilt trip me.
Nathan plize whatsapp me on this number +256752649884
My real event OCD comes with a lot of shame, almost like my brain is looking for reasons to make me feel bad. It also overlaps with other themes. Sometimes it feels so real that it's difficult to believe it's OCD..
You're so right. It does bring a lot of shame. That's a huge part of treatment. We often have to separate feelings and thoughts and focus on the present moment.
@@ocdandanxiety definitely! It's just so difficult when I'm trying to do something nice for myself, or just enjoy my day and my brain goes "wait what are you doing, you're supposed to feel ashamed, you're not allowed to do stuff you like!" 🥴
@@mariatobin7519 I wonder the same thing :( sending much love to you ❤️
@@mariatobin7519 same here, but we can get better! Community is everything. Do you have people you can talk to who share your experience, like a support group? Going to groups helps me a lot!
@@mariatobin7519 that why me type of mentality will make your struggle never ending
Yeah. Until this month (this week really) I thought it was not only normal but *necessary* to be haunted by things that you’ve done and disapprove of. Even things from years ago that were done as kids and mostly inconsequential, I’ve always seen it as an “educational opportunity“ to be a better person and understand the consequences that your actions have on those around you. I’ve only ever wanted to be the best me I can be, and in the process I really hurt myself. I only ever wanted to subsume the burden I felt I had unintentionally put on other people and instead took on the responsibility of a guilt that is *not real* Just as anybody is allowed to make mistakes and move on, your past self was allowed to make mistakes and move on. Your current self is allowed to make mistakes and move on, as is your future self.
So right, Gia.
Thanks
Oh my god, you've put what I've been going through down perfectly
I genuinely love you man. I don't know if you understand how much you actually help people. Thank you so much
Oh my am I grateful for your video. I’ve been struggling a lot for the past two weeks specifically with what I think is real event OCD, everything you’ve said is me to a T, it gives me hope to know I’m not the only one and thank you so much for the advice.
I really appreciate these videos man. But what if you did something really bad, that you fit the definition of the person that does those things, but you feel and know that you're not like them? The uncertainty is filling me with a lot of stress and suffering.
In my own situation you kinda have to stop even caring and just accept the thoughts, the fact that you did something bad in your eyes and now feel bad just reinforce that you're not that person. We have to understand that the past really doesn't have to have power but our brains will continuously throw stuff at us so just gotta be like "oh yeah I know that's ocd, maybe I am a terrible person, oh well"
@@user-sw3ll same
i realised bad people don't worry about the things they do, they just get up and go with it with no real conscious thought. this reassured me, especially to the extent of my guilt and worry - i don't believe any bad person would make themselves suffer this way
This OCD subtype is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you Nate, truly
Hi Nathan, can you please make a video on intrusive thoughts about your parents or any of your loved ones dying?
I get told that it never happened or I remember it wrong, oh well it's to late now. So I just stopped telling them anything now I just sit and silently cry having so many thoughts in my head screaming at the same time
Thank you very much sir for this video!
Does anyone else’s bad memories sort of build? like because i’m thinking about it so much more comes it the surface? i’m not sure what to do anymore it’s just constant
do*
What about the fear that the proof of your mistake might come in front of you in the future
Thank you so much ❤
I want to spell out my real event ocd
I participated in a competitive exam to enter engineering college. I passed the exam, results came online , but a official result was supposed to be send via mail. But die to some address issue, i never got that. I took admission in college , they took undertaking that i will submit that later. I forgot, and they never asked. I passed out in 2016, and got my degree and now doing my job. But i always get this fear ,that college will call me and cancell my degree as i did not submit the original version of result.
It's haunting me day and night. It makes me feel, that i have something wrong, but in reality i only did study and pass the exams.
Very sad, I have cut my isolation from 10 days to 9 days, and i cant stop punishing myself and keep feeling guilty for going out on the 9th day instead of waiting for the end of isolation while im positive. Is that a part of real event ocd? And how can i make sure I haven’t hurt anyone and how can i forgive myself for doing that
Yeah I am suffering from real event ocd since 2 month and it is hurting me badly.. please help
@@ivez5067 thank you so much means alot ❤
To put a late example, I can't stop thinking about the possibility of having felt asleep for an interview which was a requisite to be studying for a master I'm in right now. The thing is...I, in fact, laid back in my bed and felt asleep for some minutes, so there is some element of truth to my "catastrophic scenario". But now I'm studying for said master and everything's ok...except for the fact that I think about that "almost-event" everytime I have to study for my courses. And I think it would've been the end of the world if I were refused from it. So there is some "rationaity" behind this mental illness. That's why it's so difficult for me to change my thoughts and my behavior. But I also understand the practical irrationality of being thinking about an "almost event" everytime, when, in fact, nothing happened and the outcome wouldn't have been the end of the world or my career. But it would have been a big mistake damn.
Is there anyway you can match Real Event OCD to a T but NOT have it?
a lot of people with real event ocd think things like “but what if it isn’t ocd?”
So if you’re thinking that it probably is OCD.
@@sweetmatcha sad times, thanks for explaining.
Does someone have real event OCD which is just related to other person talking about your sister or mother in a bad way?
the really frustrating thing about confession compulsions is that no matter how many people tell me that what happened isn't a big deal, the ocd tells me they're biased or I'm not telling them enough or they must just be wrong
there's no way to satisfy it, but it still feels like it's eating me alive
I’ve been there. It does get better
Can super relate to this. Glad we are all far from alone.
I feel like searching for these videos is a compulsion 😂
It is actually 😪😪. Try to schedule research and education for a time instead of when you feel anxiety to avoid it becoming compulsive ❤️. I allow myself to watch if it’s in my recommended but I will NOT ruminate over OCD symptoms for fun
I keep getting them in my recommended
eh, it depends what mindset your coming in with. if your searching for these videos because your
just generally curious, then it isn't. but, if you come in with a mindset of "how can I fix this?", or "how can I feel better?", that is a compulsion
@@jhew4337 but if it is a compulsion and if you’re doing this to feel better… trying to apply the tips from this video so you can improve your situation about your OCD theme will still help?
you and me both!
As somebody who suffered for years I found my salvation in a simple response of “I don’t know”
I was bombarded by multiple memories and thousands upon thousands of relentless questions until they just went away. I offered nothing more than “I don’t know”
No matter how impossible it felt to move on, no matter how terrifying it was, no matter the guilt, no matter the shame, no matter how desperate it felt. The thoughts went away.
I honestly hope my experience can help someone to move on with their life. But ultimately “I don’t know” 😄
Hello! Now that you say you’re healed, do you still have some of those thoughts sometimes, do you still feel guilt about those events from time to time or it does go away completely and you can actually live?
@@justagirl9074 I have episodes now and again but always find my way back. The only way I can describe it is that you won’t realise your better, it will just happen
@@justagirl9074 I’m not saying I do it perfect because I assume we all have a different way of dealing with it.
But as soon as the thought or question pops in my head. I say I don’t know. Then I refuse to ask more questions on the subject. It took me a long time to work out that was one of my compulsions. I thought it was the obsession asking the questions but it was really me looking for reassurance.
It’s hard to begin with then it gets easier and you don’t have to do it all anymore. You can do this!
@@craigharrington7745 Thank you for you answer! I was kind of hoping you would tell me it has gone away for good because I was periods of time when I am better almost normal, but then it hits me out of the blue and I feel like i have do to it all over again, and simply thinking “I am finally ok” and realising your doubts were not true and then you ocd comes back and tells you you weren’t right it’s so disturbing. I feel like this is the worst thing that happened to me and unfortunately I don’t see the way out of it. Like a permanent solution. Thank you!
@@justagirl9074 everytime it gets easier to get back to normal. I had 8 months of 2020 with no ocd.
Their is no ultimate solution, it’s part of who we are, it’s hard to remember that life was never always perfect even before you realised you had ocd.
The more you worry about it coming back the more you feed the likelihood it’s going to come back. Almost like an obsession within itself!
My brain always goes "yeh but THIS TIME it's real, THIS time you NEED to be thinking about it"
Oop- OCD is funny.
Yep
My brain recycles different experiences on a weekly basis. It tells me that I’m horrible and that I’m going to end up being a felon or serial killer because I’ve done some stupid things as a teenager. I have a week without any symptoms then it crashes over me like large wave and then I go back to 24/7 rumination about the experiences. This is getting rough
I have the same issue
Yeah just had a great couple of days and suddenly wham
i have the same exact experience. it is hellish. praying we both get through it
Reviewing the Tips:
1. Use your obsessions to understand yourself
2. Make a list of what gets neglected in your life because of compulsions
3. "If I let these thoughts and emotions determine what I do in the next few minutes or an hour, will it get me closer to the person I want to be or will it move me even futher away"
4. Put a visible reminder somewhere that it's OCD is the issue. Not the past event
5. Practice self-compassion
6. Do not try to get rid of your thoughts and emotions
7. Ban rumination
8. Be willing to live with the fact that your scary thoughts may be right
9. Seek treatment
10. Make sure that your therapist specializes in OCD and practice ERP
I have done things in my past that are bad. My OCD uses this to reassure I'm a bad person. The guilt of the past and the fear of intrusive thoughts can be overwhelming at times where I cant breathe or be comfortable. I cant help ruminating as I need to KNOW I'm not a bad person. This video helps and the comments do as well. Does anyone else feel this way, extreme guilt and fear of uncertainty? Thanks for the videos, you're calm demeanor and understanding give me hope
i completely understand, i also sometimes struggle to breath and my thoughts can make me feel very sick
Hey man what have you done I wanna see if I can relate because I’ve done bad things also
We all done bad things some worse than others. Myself included. Regrets and guilt all natural emotion. And with ocd it’s worse than the average person but in this horrible feeling we feel we must not lose who we TRULY are now. Even if we were per se a bad person earlier in our lives we aren’t no longer and now we want to be good and give kindness and love to others we need to remember this is us and know we are good people no matter what our brain wants us to believe. It’s time to take back our lives! Baby steps if need be but do so in the right direction
I felt the same as like you.
It's like my ocd is trying to prove by bringing up these memories and thought is that I am a bad person
Mines connected to false memory
Your videos are helping me a lot.
In my early 20s, while struggling with alcohol, I did a lot of stupid things. Around seven whole years later, even longer for some of these things, I am now two years sober but these memories are popping into my head consistently and causing loads of shame. It drives me to believe I will experience consequences in the future and that I should not pursue a music career that could possibly make me famous or something.
I am now having other strange anxiety related attacks and panic attacks centered on some of these memories, occasionally leading to borderline blackouts though. I think I need to start making the push for uncertainty.
Yes bro push for uncertainty. I am in this boat with you. Let's try and beat the torment together. I am on my way to work now. But it's more like I'm on my way to sit in a different chair while I battle my regrets for 8 hours before going home and doing it again. Is this ok for anyone? My objective self says "hell no." But my mind says "sit down and shut the fuck up while I drag all this old shit up again"
@@bluntm4n9 same!!!
The exact thing is happening to me, i think that having a career might ruin my life for the mistakes i made in the past
Yes. I feel like I can never have any public career because my life would be immediately ruined by people surfacing my past tasteless actions
Art helps the world. Still do it!
I can relate to all of this. I have a sneaky suspicion that everyone has made mistakes! So if everyone stopped pushing for their passion, inventing things, creating (because of their guilt and fear of cancellation)
The world would just stop! Unconditional self acceptance is what I’m trying to do
As much as I know I have OCD, the things I have done in the past aren't small.
I believe I deserve to be punished for them, even if it's just beating myself up mentally about it.
I don't want to be oblivious to what I've done and blame it on OCD.
And I know it’s easier said than done but I believe anyone can do it
You are not Alone. The best thing is to reach out to Jesus Christ he is our sheperd And we Are his sheep. If you ask for forgiveness and repent through prayers, he will forget and forgive. And if he had forgotten about it you should too. 🙂❤️ Good luck
I feel the same
I also feel same i did something horrible in past and i feel like i get away with it and im scared it will come back to haunt me so my mind keep saying"you dont deserve this you dont deserve to be happy"but i find this channel so i can say we do have ocd thats why its called real life event ocd its not normal to something stuck on your mind even tho ITS HORRIBLE it not gonna help us it not gonna help you its not gonna help me its not gonna help anyone who affected by our actions so please i know you think you dont deserve anything but being stuck on old action wont help either but do you know what can help?learning from it if you regret your action then you doing great already i cannot speak if you are a good or bad person but i can say you are a person you are a human being you being here talking about this means you are trying i say make amend if you can but if you couldnt thats also fine
I feel the same way, but recently started learning about unconditional acceptance. More or less is about accepting yourself regardless of what has happened. Is not about “letting ourselves off the hook” we can still feel regret over our actions without tormenting ourselves. Simply learn from your mistakes learn to live in uncertainty, don’t seek validation or approval. & most important don’t rate yourself
And when it's mixed up with false memory and saying that I had bad intentions which I literally like never thought about
It's so painful and the anxiety is so extreme that I cant do anything about it even though deep down I know it's not real I can't do anything but cry
I've been there for 30 days
A real event turned into a false memory (even though I've thought of this memory multiple times) now ot changed to the absolute worst case scenario. My heart is with you while we figure this out.
@@BaileyNicole89 it went on like this for 7 or more days but now it's bearable I have decided I am not going to feel guilty at all but something I didn't do or thought of
It's going to pass anyway
The same thing happened to me! Idk what caused it, but it was a year after it happened that my mind put it in my head again and gave me the false memory of “ok but what was your intention? Did you convey your intentions in a way that got it across?” And then that thought is what caused me to get stuck in a loop ruminating.
Remember you are not an exception. You are trying your best like most other humans on this earth. It's not like you're uniquely evil. Other people don't talk about these things because they can be shameful and they don't have an obligation to bring it up or dwell on it. Please seek ERP therapy and get your life back on track. That is what I am doing. I know it feels so threatening, but you can do it.
I really suffer with this one. I suddenly remember things I did or thought or felt months or years ago and feel just crushed by it until I'm disconnected from reality and I just can't believe I could have not only done the thing but not realized how bad it was until now.
Is it normal in ocd to feel that you don’t know what’s true and what’s not true about you or a situation or anything really mostly unsure about yourself? I get this all the time
Very normal
It’s called the doubting disease for that exact reason.
Yes my OCD can fill in the blanks in memories I am re-running compulsively as and I don't know if I'm remembering more or having false memories so I have to re-run even more.
Hi,
I suffer from this too. How do I deal with triggers, meaning whenever I do something that makes me feel happy or satisfied; a voice inside me tells me that "Wait you dont deserve this! Start feeling bad right now!" Can I ever stop those thoughts from being triggered?
Also thank you for making this video!
How plz batye
Its just OCD, it just attacks things you care about. Just say 'I dont know'
This has been a really tough thing for me for the past three weeks. I am currently obsessing over some pretty bad stuff i did as 12 year old without noticing it by then. It also overlapses with my moral scrupulosity OCD and my POCD, especially this one. It makes me feel like I'm worthless and a bad person and like i don't deserve a good and fulfilling future. It stands in the way of healing myself and connecting with people and simply living in the present. Thoughts like "I am a horrible monster and everyone around me is normal and can enjoy a deserved happy life and I don't" are daily basis. I also suffer from extreme disconnection from reality, my friends, my family and mostly myself. I look in the mirror and don't know who i am anymore and i feel no empathy for my reflection. It causes s*icidual thoughts even tho i actually love life and don't want to d*e. What i did doesn't align with my values at all and the most terrible thing is that i am incapable of forgiving myself or showing myself compassion. I just want to be normal and i want to do school and love myself but i feel so undeserving of love
I feel the exact same way.
if I imagine someone I love, or a child maybe, having the same thoughts & feelings I'm having, it helps me see those thoughts & feelings in a different way. I would have compassion & understanding for the loved one, and i wouldn't want them to think & feel that way. Then I try to give myself the same understanding & compassion. You are not alone in what you're going through, and I'll pray for you today.
@@haileybancroft9547 maybe the reply I left below can help you. I hope so.
I feel the same way. It’s so hard, I’ve been spiraling for 3 days.
This made me realize I value kids and being nice to others. I have POCD and when I get scared of the thoughts, I want to protect them from the threat, I'm the type of guy if he sees a child in danger of a pedo, I want to save the child, protect it. I fear being like a pedo due to my sexual abuse when I was 13 by a classmate, he was older than I and had took advantage of me by calling it a game. - and being nice to others, I can't stand to hurt someone's feelings, when I hurt someone, I start OCDing about it.
This video helped a lot!!
I've had these kinds of obsessions too. In the UK when I was a teen up the tabloid press was full of stories about child abuse. One paper was even going as far to promote vigilantism against perpetrators, threatening to publish their addresses etc. So there was a real moral panic about paedophilia at the time. So I shouldn't be surprised in the slightest that my OCD jumped on this subject matter.
This video teaches me that I value children's safety and wish to protect them rather than to harm them.
The guy with the most authentic solutions ❤️
You're awesome! Thanks so much!
I’m glad you made this video, because I genuinely didn’t know this was a thing and incorrectly assumed it was just me experiencing flashbacks from my PTSD. The lens of OCD makes a LOT more sense when applied to my experiences.
“ Train your brain 🧠 to move forward” 👏👏
How . I'm stocked in my fault when I was 14
I envision "the mists of time." We want to erase it. But we can't change the past. So instead, we can leave it in the past. Allow your brain to forget it even happened. Envision the mists of time, and allow them to have that moment, instead of you. It's not who you are. It was just a stumble. Stand up now, in the present moment.
But what I can do if I know that I did bad mistake in the past or even hurt people who care about me I feel so guilty and bad I can't just forgive myself and I feel like I don't deserve anything good just like you said in the video... Anyway I really appreciate you and this channel, I don't know if it's a compulsion but when it's getting too hard to handle on my own like right now, watching your video makes me feel a little bit better and calm maybe a compulsion I know but just an hour ago I was in a panic attack mood feeling like I can't breathe feeling on the edge totally out of control like I was going crazy and scary things I feel suic**al.. And then I take my phone just to try to focus on something else, found this video because I'm subscribed to this channel and start watching, not only what you saying but also how you are saying, like the way you talk.. Makes me feel better like I'm not alone in this, so thank you.. And I'm sorry if this was a long comment and maybe it's not correct because I'm Italian so my English is not good. Anyway I wish you and everyone who is reading this a good night and remember you are not alone, stay strong ❤️
Also it's so hard because in this case ocd focus on something you really did it's not just a thought it's true, you did those things.. So how can I forgive me for what I did, how I can't feel horrible about myself for this? I can't move on, and when I feel better then I start to feel guilty about feeling better cause I'm like hey you can't feel good about yourself or are you OK with what you did? You don't care? So you must be even worse if you don't pay attention to what you did. Anyway I did it so there is nothing I can do to fix this and it makes me feel really bad. Again sorry for the long message.
Hey i'm so sorry you feel this way
Also I agree these videos help me a lot!
@@siljabergsen5776 thank you ❤️ sometimes I talk to my husband or my mom but I don't really share everything 'cause I'm ashamed of being and feeling this way.. Again thank you for your comment ❤️
You are not alone!😍
I have POCD since a couple months ago I remembered a deed that i've done almost 7 years ago... No, don't worry, i did not harm anyone, I don't have any desire to kids, but my mind tries to prove the controversary with every of it's power. It's just feels so real i cannot make a difference between reality and those feelings that I felt that time. I was a stupid youngster at the time. Still, now, when I want a family, I just stasrted to imagine how I want to raise my children and oops, those memories just hit me suddenly from nowhere and tries to prove me I have sick urges... This is so terrible szometimes I just cannot tell you. I cried since many times, thinking I'm a horrible person, who can never have a family. Even if I know it's OCD, I cannot make a peace with my mind. However, you videos helps a lot, thank you.
I’m in the same boat.
I’ve been having real event ocd from impulses that I’ve done this year and it’s the worst feeling I’ve ever had. My main ocd theme is self harm thoughts, but now it’s mainly focused on real events in which I feel like I’m going to get in trouble from. I have to reassure myself that nothing bad happened from my ocd impulses and that I’m not in trouble, but my brain won’t let me move on.
My mistakes are actually big not that small
One thing I noticed is that Real Event Ocd makes me feel extremely awful and terrible about these events but when I actually look at the events, it aint really something that serious. Its like my ocd has put an extreme tide of anxiety and guilt that's not really compatible with the real events themselves
same. nice pfp btw
I think that the worst part about having real event ocd is the need to confess all the time.Personally i wanted all the time to confess my thoughts because i felt i was gonna explode or sth.Then i regretted the fact that i was oversharing to persons..i was afraid that my darkest thoughts were gonna be known to everyone(more anxiety),but i was responsible to this because I WAS OVERSHARING TO EVERYONE.
my ocd stopped about 10 months after by its own,when it was too late.I cant believe i left those meaningfull thoughts destroy my life and my mind.I swear to god they were really silly thoughts.But i couldnt control my guilt and shame.I do better now,but i cant forgive myself i left those thoughts to have a big impact to my life...
Me too… ot sucks bc it’s real and it happened
@@JohnnyBGoode-xn9moDone what
My theme rn is especially awful... I remembered something I did or thought/ imagined a while ago. The thing is I can’t put it in the past because it might mean some about me right now. This is awful. There is so much more to it also... man puberty was rough.
Hi! I know exactly how you feel. My main real event OCD theme is especially awful too, and it makes me feel like such a terrible person, even gives me intrusive thoughts and makes me feel/believe that I’m still that bad person. Mine happened around puberty too, and I agree puberty was so rough for me too! You’re not alone :)
@@chloeeve2370 puberty seems to bring a battle for every person emerging out of it. This seems to be ours. All the best to all of us 💕 we can continue and get better and deserve to be happy like everyone we know around us wants to see from us.
I've always felt like my brain is searching for a shitty thing I did like a phone trying to connect to a wifi signal. Then I confess, feel better for maybe 30 minutes and then my brain connects to a new past event.
Exact same!
Yep. Me too.
While watching this my mind kept screaming: “why are you watching this? You don’t have ocd. What you did was bad and now it’s your time to pay, stop looking for a way around it.” It’s hard not to listen when the voice is so loud…
It is exhausting. I just want it to stop.
The bad memories are accompanied with every negative emotion possible.
How do you treat real-event OCD when you have so many different types of real events and false memories that pop up? I am starting the process for ERP and would love any advice! Thank you. 😊
Every time I think about anything, my brain connects it back. I can't sleep, I can't even sit blanky without thinking about it. Thanks for this. It's helping a bit.
This has always been my biggest struggle, i just seemed to get over my last bout but ocd is throwing a new thought and morphing a situation that I know what actually happened. Any tips to kinda move past that? I assume it would be the same as the last just kinda sucks to have my brain do this lol
I can understand you are aware that's it's just the same OCD with some new theme but you are so stuck in it that it feels hopeless
My OCD is all about guilt of my past. Once I cheated my friend(at very minor level) and she doesn't know about it.I don't want to make her angry and don't wanna talk to her but My stupid OCD really pins me down everyday about guilt and forced me to do apologize to her and Hurt yourself by losing your favorite things to make her happy(I know it's really non sense but my OCD force me to think like that)
What if...I can't tell wether the memory is true because it seems highly unlikely but I still feel an urge to figure it out...
That may be considered false memory OCD: ruclips.net/video/zioi_7c3XeY/видео.html
I have false memory because I know a part of a real event never happened at all
Im struggling with this, mixing real events with false memories and the guilt carried it drives me insane.
I have Real Event OCD which links in with other subsets, and it's terrible.
Types of OCD's I have:
• SELF HARM OCD - fear of me being a masochist which causes me to feel turned on when in pain, also known as groinal response.
• LESBIAN OCD - I am scared of being a lesbian, sometimes my brain tells me that I am in love with my same sex friend. I also worry that I am a transgender and that I am a Male in denial of not being transgender.
• RELATIONSHIP OCD - my brain tells me that I am not in love with my special person because I suddenly turned into a lesbian somehow. OR my brain tells me that I am not in love with my special person because I feel calm around my favorite person.
Is it normal for your ocd to make you worry that you’ll do it again?
but what if what you did in the past wasn’t so small ?
then still it doesn't serve you in anyway to punish yourself for it by replaying the event and dwelling onto it. do not let your mind convince you that you deserve this. no matter how big it was you can not change the past so do not let your mind convince you that it is moral to do this to you. if you stay present you will be able to do what you need to do naturally
I doubt what others on average have done was small either, but they live on. You're not an exception. Recovery is possible
It makes me so scared, and makes me feel so alone. I cried twice in your video. For almost 33 years now i have had a horrible always-evolving form of OCD.
That’s how I would describe my real event OCD, very scary. I hate it.
When I first started puberty, like it’s peak, I did some regretful sexual things as a teen that are HAUNTING me, it’s as if I gave into some urges, then immediately regretted it. I never did any of those things again as I know they go against my character and morals. I’m obsessing and obsessing about the past.
Can I ask what ?
Recently my brain has been flooded good things from 30 years ago. Some of them I'm not even sure about. Starting to get out of control
@@chickenlittle4014
No! Really? It’s inappropriate to ask a stranger about past “details” about their personal, intimate issues! Especially in a public forum!
Get a clue!
We all do things that we regret from the past. I know I have!
I think back, “I can’t believe I was ever in that mindset to do those things!” “I was so stupid, then!”
But, just knowing you’re remorseful and have the ability now, to realize those past things were wrong, means you have matured in many ways. 💕
@@user-hx7mi7ml8u calm down you never know if he want sit share or not some people do some don’t.
As bad as it sounds I keep saying I wish I had another theme, another form of mental health. I've done multiple bad things especially in my teens. I keep relating childhood trauma as the answer, or what if I really am just evil, what if this what if that etc. Researching, reassurance. I wouldn't dream of doing what I've done now. I've spent the past couple years doing compulsions trying to hide the thoughts, occasionally crumbling and having periods of time in bed, no energy, body in agony for weeks on end. No matter what I do it relates to the past and the situations that have happened. I keep thinking that if I beat OCD it'll go away... But if I lose the guilt then I'm agreeing. I try to say things like "it happened who cares" "I don't care" I've only just started this approach, it'll take time for it to have an effect... Spending the past 10 years thinking the opposite is a hard habit to break.
I particualrly appreciate your point on traditional cbt therapy. Ive not found it to be the most helpful and coudln’t figure out why. Tying into real event ocd, I DID have an extremely bad therapist who didn’t understand me when I said that I’m aware and have tried using regular CBT for years with little success. This really helps put that in perspective , and simply using a different approach is much more likely to help, overall. Thank you for all the work you do!!
Thanks so much for sharing your story! I hope you can find some relief soon! 😃
@ocdandanxiety does real event ocd and false memory ocd go hand in hand?
Hi, I have watched so many of your youtube videos. I have to say after I watched them, I reduced my sking picking tremendously. But after that week, my reason for stopping the skin picking was not for me, it was for other people mostly, so that’s why I started doing it again and I was attacking my sking more than before. But the after I watched this video and started to take care of me first, I stopped the sking picking for me, first time in my life, the reason for stopping was actually me this time...and it’s working. I am now expozing myself to my sking and not touching it, to show my OCD, I am in charge, I can actually be in control of my behavior. I am so happy for me. Thank you!
Thank you for this. I've always had ocd, but my third trimester of pregnancy (my 1st pregnancy) has dramatically amplified my ocd and I feel guilty for every thought/feeling I've ever had. And I have the compulsion to constantly confess. I've learned to stop that though, because I'm driving my poor husband insane. I feel more "normal" now after seeing your video. Thank you for shedding some light on this condition for me
Im 35 years old and am finally learning that i have this. It never felt like a big part of my life and i always thought it was just anxiety that came and went. This video helped me tremendously to learn what im actually dealing with and what kind of treatment to look for. Thank you.
Do we need to be careful with these great videos they could quite easily become compulsive to watch? Damn you OCD
I’m so grateful for your videos…I’ve never met you but you have helped me immensely just understand how my brain works and realize all the things that seem so real, so big in my head are actually normal for people with OCD minds. I keep making myself wrong when certain methods don’t work or I buy into certain thoughts, like people get frustrated I don’t let them go based on logic, but it’s just the way my brain works! Thank you so much for these videos!
EDIT: I have a few things that were real event OCD but until this video I just thought they were actually unsolved things I needed to deal with-but really loud in my head and taking me out of the moment. This is the first time I’ve heard of Real Event OCD and it really helps me realize what was going on! Again, thank you!
i just wanna say thank u for improving my life, i didn’t seek professional help yet bec i’m afraid to tell my parents, but watching ur videos makes me feel relieved and assures me that i’m not alone, i’m not a bad person, and that most of the stuff i’m going through is mostly mental. thank u so much
Anyone here offering some tips or is everyone just compulsively seeking reassurance in internet? I actually hoped someone will come by who has made some progress in his o her life
What an amazing guy! Thank you for what you're doing. I'm sharing your videos with others who need this resource. 😊
Your videos are superb, Nathan. Very thoughtful and considerate and full of insights that are rarely available elsewhere delivered in a calm, straightforward way. Thanks so much for all you do.
I'm so so glad I found this video. All my life I've struggled with different types of OCD but Real Event OCD is by far the worst. Until I researched this and found out it was a real thing, I genuinely thought I was going crazy. Like there was something inherently wrong with my brain which, I guess, there is. But hearing your solutions and seeing that other people experience the same thing has already helped me so much. Thank you for making these videos. I finally feel validated, instead of bottling up my anxieties or simply being told 'just don't worry!' You're a godsend, and I thank you.
Yes, real event OCD is by far the worst out there. I didn’t know either, that this was what I was experiencing. It can be so debilitating to live with.
I have a very important question, what positive affirmations are okay too use? Like is it okay too tell myself that im going too be okay? And that I'm strong? Things like that?
Thanks Nathan! Knowing that I might be struggling with this will allow me to look at these methods to deal with my issues instead of just continuing to allow myself to overthink the event. I guess that's a step in the right direction!
You are such a generous soul to share this with us asking nothing in return, thank you
Thank you so much for another video!
You are so welcome!
My mind tells me its not ocd and god is making me feel guilty because I'm a bad person and i should seek forgiveness and repent
When you ask god for forgiveness and you repent truly he will forgive and forget and all your guilt and stuff will disappear❤️
God will never put pain onto you. You are his creation. He can and will remove it.
It you have asked God for help and he has forgiven you already, then you start asking for forgiveness to God multiple times, to be reassured of the forgiven sin, it is known as a compulsion. You must resist compulsing in order to find relief from anxious thoughts.
@@SpeedyGaming yes to this. Im a Christian and agree fully.
You should look into religious / moral OCD! It sounds like that would fit your experience
can real event ocd be about something that isn't small but maybe medium? or is that just regret? thank you!
It can definitely still be OCD , especially if you feel an overwhelming amount of regret and guilt
@@sian8538 , what if you slept with someone you didn't love, letting that person know you there is no commitment from your side whatsoever but then realizing after 3 years that the person got serious about you, you parted ways- that person probably married a wrong guy and got divorced . That kind of a thing ?
@@Ashish-nd3xj OCD can cling onto absolutely anything , regardless of what the situation is about.
@@sian8538 how will it really go away. There are bouts of this which come after every few months and then it keeps hanging in the background of the mind and definitely doesn't allow body to relax and be fully there in the moment. Is talking to the person you feel guilty about a good option ?
@@Ashish-nd3xj I’m guessing you feel that talking to them would offer you some form of reassurance or relief , right? when you have OCD this is literally impossible to achieve , reassurance seeking is a compulsion and you are only adding fuel to the fire. The best way to deal with OCD is to learn to sit with the uncertainty, do not fight it or it will get worse. By doing compulsions or reciting the event over and over again in your head feeds OCD. I recommend you watch some videos about why reassurance seeking is bad. You will overcome this , don’t let OCD win (:
These videos help immensely.
I am so glad!
Thank you so much. Think I am going to do your course.
You're welcome! I hope the course can help you Connor!
I’ve been struggling with this lately, completely forgot to wear a mask while i was walking behind my house, if think it wasn’t even mandatory because it isn’t a crowded place but i felt so bad when i crossed people who weren’t wearing masks either, now i can’t do anything but thinking about it and appliying a crazy amount of pressure on my eye to punish myself, i keep picturing myself telling people that i forgot my mask and them telling me how big of a mistake it was
I'm sorry you've had this to go through. I've had mask-related and other COVID-related thoughts, too. And the fear of spreading the virus...I feel like the pandemic hasn't been the easiest for some of us with OCD.
I completely agree with you since the pandemic started i have had so many OCD related to that but this one is very difficult for me, we want to have control over something that is completely out of hands since it started, i guess we have to remember that we are humans and be a little bit more kind with ourself, i’ve seen people not wearing masks willingly in public places and i’m pretty sure they are not punishing themself as we do lol, we should have more compassion for ourself
You’re an angel 🙏 this video helped me so much
This actually helped more than most of the therapy I've recieved
Can someone suffer from Real Event OCD and False Memory OCD? Do they overlap often? Thank you soooo much for this! I feel so much less alone.
Your brain can do anything, there is no black and white, I've had disease ocd sexuality ocd real event false event all sorts
Yes
Thank you so much for this video I've been struggling with this and I didn't know that this is called real event ocd and i was thinking I've gone mad and i didn't know what to do and because this was getting worst i was having intrusive thoughts as well and it's really difficult to deal with it but your video makes it easy and get to know that I'm not the only one who is suffering from this
You exude kindness and I feel safe listening to you. Thank you for helping me find the strength to seek support for my real event ocd
Yes! I'm suffering from real life OCD for more then 2 years.
You are a lifesaver! Thank you sir 🙏
I know I have real event ocd, but I have done some seriously awful stuff in the past... It's not a small stuff and I just can't forgive myself.
I feel this. I’m so afraid to put myself out there because I’m worried people will see what I’ve done in my past and believe I’m still that person.
Hi, I would say I’m doing recovery from OCD and Telling myself it doesn’t matter, but sometimes I can’t just Not think about it or try to fix it, because they involve real life things and is reality based, and sometimes I worry about like if my OCD starts Accepting My intrusive thoughts as Fact, because it actually happened, and my dumb brain starts making “accept” this new “life”? Cause my brain is weird af like that, it works hardest to just try to make me feel better, and I think it tries to make me feel better by accepting this cognitively.
I feel like i can finally let years if guilt go. I have wasted a lot of time. Thank you
How can you open up to a therapist about very private things and not be massively depressed and anxious after you leave their office? It sounds terrifying if you feel vulnerable to start with
The only way out is ERP
what if this thing can affect us in the future if we ignore it?
Sometimes, when I get across someone or something and the mind sort of gets triggered, there is like a war that goes on in the mind. I can't decide what to feel, Am I scared, attracted or whatever? And when the trigger goes away, I'm like why did all this happen. Why was I scared? There is no point of being scared.
But I realize that the mind just fears something and it's all an illusion created by the mind due to some past experience it has gone through. And nothing outside triggers it, but the mind itself.
I just found out that I likely suffer from this, and so far your videos have helped a lot.
Can you please give me some insight? Is the constant obsessive fear that I was abused as a child (no signs, just a weird random thought that popped up one day and I can’t stop thinking about) a form of false memory or OCD? I KNOW I was not abused but I can’t stop obsessing or looking for proof that I was. I feel like no one talks about this and I feel so alone
I struggle with real event false memory that plays on past intrusive thoughts and makes me question whether I did something or not. It’s especially hard when it’s something you’ve ruminated on before because the lines become even more blurry between real and false. This is something that happened 12 years ago and I’ve been stuck for 2 months on it. It’s awful.
100% agree. I need behavioral treatment. Talk therapy kept me trapped and frustrated!