I’ve heard this question asked many times in various venues this past month, “What do you want to do with your one precious life?” “Love”, my only answer. And in this moment of the here and now, I am choosing to love thyself as I do all others, do no harm in response to being harmed, be the witness of my own suffering and set an example of the love I am and seek. Anything is possible with love, and that, there is never too much of. Each moment is a blessed opportunity to heal thyself thereby the world. Love is the only path. It takes God to help me walk that Love walk one baby step at a time, not back, but forth. From the tragic of my trauma, love remains. I was asked as a battered child, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” “Alive to love,” said I. Alive and Loving, Layne
May all of our “supply lines” of love from God be expanded beyond what we thought possible, for only then will our outflow of love for each other be increased beyond our needs.
Sam, you are a truth teller. I have found a few therapists on RUclips who have helped me with my CPTSD, but none who really articulate so clearly, in jargon free terms, and from the perspective of the afflicted, what it really takes to transform: tell the truth, own our repeated coping mechanisms, grieve that we have reduced ourselves to those, rage at the injustice of that and our lost time, feel the pain and use it to transform. I really needed to hear your message today----'eat or be eaten by it'. The image of a trapped animal that has to chew off its own leg to free itself comes to mind. Or one that has to lick or consume an infected or rotting part of itself in order to heal and save itself. THANK YOU, and best wishes for the New Year.
Thank you very much Carrie. I'm so happy that my sense making is helping you..... it's helping me too ! May this year bring peace and fulfilment for you.
My niece died last year, at only 25 years old, from a rare and extremely aggressive cancer. The treatment that helped her the most was an experimental gene therapy that reprogrammed her immune system to seek out and eat the cancer cells. Unfortunately for her body’s sake it was too little too late. I believe that many, if not all, people suffer from some type of “soul cancer” which left untreated becomes terminal. We may attempt to fight it with something akin to chemotherapy which often does as much or more damage to who we really are as it does against the actual “cancer”. What we really need is an effective “soul therapy” that reprograms us to recognize and attack only the actual threats that disguise themselves as parts of ourselves and thus allow our truest selves to thrive. It’s likely that the details of this process will vary greatly from person to person, but I think the concept is valid. Does anyone else have any insight as to how we might implement this?
@iymspartacus7089 Life seems so cruel at times and so unjust. We try to make sense of such things but I'm not sure we ever truly can. I'm so sorry for your loss. After this video today I realised a few important things I will share in the next video that I'll try and record tomorrow. I think we gradually discern what is truly ours and what is learned or given by others. What is truly ours is found in relationship with God, the truth of each moment beyond self centredness, I think there is where we find our innocence and the conflict and despair of the self we believed ourselves to be , can be seen for what it is, a fiction, a narrative of experience but not the true self, not the essence of what and who we really are. In this video I spoke about the I that makes and tries to stick to decisions and the conflict we feel over those decisions. There is conflict because we are rooted in the I of our narrative. and not the true I .. The I of narrative feels such fear and desires to escape that fear, it feels unstable, pulled this way and that by its changing moods. So, I think to heal we must see the I of narrative as just that, not the true I. It takes a long time and fearlessness in the clear seeing of the ugliness of self centredness. Can we admit our own selfishness ? its difficult for most. As I said in this video and others, when we clearly see the coping identity for what it is, a series of strategies and pleas, the obviousness of its desperation and instability really does become transparent . This is the first real footstep on becoming true. The catastrophic realisation of the false self. Our healing is really the understanding of this and that our real self, our innocence , remains untarnished and unbroken.
Sam you have no idea how much you have helped me. There was a period that I was avoiding your videos because it meant that I had to look at myself honestly and it felt too painful. But... the coping strategies only work for so long.. the pain underneath grows bigger. It has been so amazing to watch how your content has morphed as you get further in your journey. I have watched most of your videos starting from the very beginning. The earlier videos were a bit confusing.. about being trans and so, it wasn´t clear what you were actually talking about. I kept watching because I wanted to know more and understand. The newer the video was, the more sense you were making. As time went on your coherency and clarity has become stronger and brighter. It´s an amazing transformation to watch. Painful but amazing, the most amazing there is. It´s been such a gift to watch this. What happens is you really allow us into this journey, to see it, feel it, and grow with you. You have helped me more than any other person on this earth including my family, close friends and my therapist. With you I truly realised who I am, how I´m decieving myself into a false identity to mask my own pain and that I just need to be honest with myself, go into the pain, not try to avoid it at all costs. I have now, closing 40 began to open myself up for the first time to myself and slowly to my partner, some family members and close friends. As I have done so my daily addiction to coping and soothing activities have largely dissolved. For the first time it´s easier to breath, my mind is clearer, i´m more present and not in constant disorray and confusion in my head. Those secrets, that pain that I have burried deep within myself.. they really aren´t that big of a deal actually.. now that I have brought them to light, all of that shame. The shame made me burry the pain and when the painful things were in darkness they seemed so huge and powerful. Now that I have shared them for the first time, brought them to light, these monsters have lost their power. They seem little and funny. Why was I ever afraid? This is the beginning, my progress starts now. I will continue, this honesty within myself gives me strenght to go further into my fear and pain as you stated. I will fall down but it´s ok, I know now what to do. I feel that once you start this process it´s impossible to turn back because you can see it now.. you can´t unsee what is now clear. You are a mighty spirit Sam, you shine so brightly! It´s a gift to follow you into the true essense of our beings.
Thank you for letting me know that sharing my own process has helped you. Today is one of those days where I have been full of doubt and self criticism, wondering whether I am making sense, it all seems so abstract sometimes. Yes, in the beginning I really had no clue who I was, what I'd buried so deeply and just how dissociated and deluded I was, it's been an extremely difficult and painful process...... and still is. To share so openly I still go through periods of terrible vulnerability but these tend to be important signifiers , hinting that I am touching on something deeper that is about to come to the surface . You are so right , there is no going back. Freedom is beyond self centredness and all its pain, pain that feels so enormous, so impassable but then, looking back, so small............. a choice, an anchor to our own suffering. Well done ! And thank you for sticking with me and thank you for letting me know that this matters. Love Sam
The more painfull the process and sharing is, the more valuable and precious it is as well. Isn´t is amazing? How when you break through of that shame and self critisism, or share despite of that.. how incedibly healing it is for others? For the audience? To be brave enough to verbalize the most hidden painful parts of you, you release the tension and fear that others have about their own dark painful secrets. Why are we hiding from each other when these are the things that heal us all? Sharing that pain brings so much love and acceptance and understanding for ourselves and for others. You showed me that it´s ok. I´m not a freak! We are all the same! We are all little freaks walking around pretending to be "normal". Now with your example I have become open and I´m sharing painful things to others. And then they fell safe to share their pain. It´s a very freeing and healing cycle. Sure the struggle isn´t over. Behavior that I relied on for decades doesn´t change in one night. But something has shifted, some enormous weight has been lifted. I can breathe. I´m so happy and grateful. Thank you. Thank you for being an example, a great teacher, and inviting us on this journey!🌟❤ Love, Niina from Finland @@Call-Me-Sam
@@cloelles YES ! we need to be real , be vulnerable, be honest , before we can be known and experience intimacy with others. Seeing ourselves clearly is painful but so necessary. As is forgiveness. Most of all, forgiveness for ourselves , which seems the most difficult of all. Wonderful to hear of your progress, keep bringing your light into the world, keep being you...... thats all we need to. Love Sam
For anyone here who thinks their will was broken, it wasn't. You're still here. You're still alive. Remind yourself of that, that through all the shit, you stayed alive and use it to keep going. All the love you want to express to another, say it to yourself in the mirror. Do it everyday. I promise promise promise you will see a change because I did. It's slow but effective.
Just listening here this morning. I listen daily now because it re-directs my tendency to slip back into fixing, coping, pretending. After I listened, I read this scripture which is talking about the same process of healing from utter personal destruction. Thus says the LORD: On that day I will raise up the fallen hut of David; I will wall up its breaches, raise up its ruins, and rebuild it as in the days of old, That they may conquer what is left of Edom and all the nations that shall bear my name, say I, the LORD, who will do this. Yes, days are coming, says the LORD, When the plowman shall overtake the reaper, and the vintager, him who sows the seed; The juice of grapes shall drip down the mountains, and all the hills shall run with it. I will bring about the restoration of my people Israel; they shall rebuild and inhabit their ruined cities, Plant vineyards and drink the wine, set out gardens and eat the fruits. I will plant them upon their own ground; never again shall they be plucked From the land I have given them, say I, the LORD, your God. - Amos 9:11-15
Only just discovered you Sam, but the truth you speak really resonates with me. You are so far from a fuck up. You’ve been through so much but look at what you’ve become coming out the other end. Look at how many people you are reaching and inspiring.
Happy New Year, Sam. Thank you for sharing.... ...."if we recover loudly, we prevent others from dying quietly "....not sure who said that... God bless.
Your abuser will experience the effects of his/her behavior towards you from your perspective, so you don't need to have any concern about that. Not only that, but he/she will also experience the knock on effects of his/her behavior towards you on all those you have interacted with from their perspective - the ripple effect, so countless Near Death Experiencers have reported.. The only thing we need to be concerned about seemingly, is the effect of our own thoughts, attitude and behavior is affecting others now. Thanks for sharing your journey with so much honesty, Clive
Hi Clive, thank you, yes , I completely agree. Once we realise all this, we must take responsibility for ourselves, thought , action , relationship...... every thing matters, everything ripples out into the lives of others. I don't think it's possible to tread so softly through life that we do no harm but we can do our best to move with consideration and compassion. Well done ! at last you got a comment passed the algorithm.
My compassion and love to you Sam! Thanks so much for sharing your raw and authentic voice! I made a video called amygdala hijack in my channel that was inspired by complex ptsd, the frequent fight/flight response that our emotional flashbacks put us back in. It is a rough road trying to put together the broken pieces that left from years of enduring trauma, but I sincerely hope everyone reading this comment can reach out for help when necessary. Find a way to voice the inner critic, let it breathe and let it burn!
Thank you so much. Yes, the sharpness of amygdala hijacking, such intense fear that clouds our thinking and it comes on so fast. I still get this most weeks . Just this week I really and truly understood just how vital it is for us to stay calm , be peaceful and then gradually increase our tolerance to stress. It takes so long though but is possible. Blessings and love to you in your own healing.
Happy new year Sam ❤ it’s been a while since I’ve commented, but I’ve been watching since 2021 and continue to be inspired by your wisdom and life experience. I hope you are remembering to be gracious and gentle with yourself while on this very disciplined, thoughtful, and deep path in life. Not that you need the reminder, although it’s one I seem to forget time to time while digging deeper and seeking truthfulness. Thank you for being you, know that you are heard and loved, far and wide. Hugs from Hawaii!
i like ur thought devour the pain and and maybe to see my pain not as a burden but our food for my soul to hold, surender to my connection to god and let god do justice for you through your great gift that you have through transformation and awakening to who we truly are and it is not our pain that we are , we are not our pain we have it to witness it and I think to do things like ur utube is an expression of heaing , I am experiencing wat u r l see u and i also want to be seen an cannot understand Yet wat my expression into form I will have and that thought keeps me fighting off negativity luv u sam
“We are not our pain”! It’s amazing what a difference our perspective on pain makes in our lives. When we’re young we are overcome by the pain. We fear the pain. We run and hide from the pain. We avoid the pain. We try to deny the pain. But there is no escape. As we mature we learn to accept the pain. We start to understand the pain. We embrace the pain that has molded us, yet is not us. We refuse to be enslaved by the pain, but instead learn to tame it and train it to serve us instead. And eventually that pain is transformed from our adversary into a beloved companion that has only our best interests at heart. Often this just seems like wishful thinking, but I really think I’m starting to see it and maybe even experience it for fleeting moments. Its realization is my prayer for both myself and for you.
Don’t ask for suffering or repel it. Make friends with it. It’s a part of god. Without the wind the roots grow shallow and the trees fall. Death of the leaves generates new life for the soil. The feeling of retribution is justified, may be they do deserve wrath. But if you give in, then they get all of you. Keep yourself.
Welcome back Dear Sam, & Happy New Year. Thankyou for your wisdom, clarity & inspired insight. Using the pain as fuel - that’s an absolutely inspired concept. I can’t thank you enough for this (and all you do for your tribe. We are all in this together, after all…. ) Endless thanks & love to you.
Thank you soooo much for your videos Sam!! Keep going forward, keep posting- a lot of people walk with you. Me too. And I am trying to and love to support you with money but tomorrow I see someone who can help me with PayPal problems 😅
Like, share, and subscribe. Ever heard, the expression; “sitting on the fence” ? Your video just championed me off and over the fence. It is such a strange experience. Thank you for being in this experience with me. I get glimpses of my will, post allowing the good in. It’s doublethink. Thank you for the video.
Hey Sam, We were, at one time, fuck ups. I know I was. I am much less a fuck up 24 years sober. You are not a fuck up, if you are on the road to wholeness and peace, right ?? In 1993, I lost an ex to suicide, which made my alcoholism much worse. In 1994, I was diagnosed with AIDS, told I was going to die, and that was it. I got sober, it only lasted so long. The man who saved me, (I call him God, he called himself Todd) Told me this: There is a furnace in your belly. (All that fear, anger, sorrow, pain, abuse, etc.) I want you to take all that negativity and pain, and push it down, into your furnace, and Let it BURN !! Use that fire to keep you alive. And it did. everyone else I knew died in short order. And that has been what I have done for the whole of my life, now that I am sober once again. I am a few years older than you are now. 57 next month.
Hi Sam, was wondering if you plan to start reading from your poetry books again. I remember you had one author who I think you said is your favorite. I forgot the mans name. Hope you had a good Christmas and I wish you a really good new year. God bless.
Thank you Terry. I may do readings again. Walk and talks are much more natural, thoughts flow more easily and I don't think, just talk. So, yes, I will read from lovely locations again.
Your video was not rambling. Is giving me insight into someone I love. I suspect has suffered childhood trauma which has manifested in transgender. Perhaps you can create a video on helping someone or walking away? The person does not want to acknowledge it I just suspect it from hints. Love to you!
Thank you Melody. We all need to come to our own awakening, if we told or pushed too soon, we juts resist. There is so much bubbling to the surface for me right now, I have lots I want to say and I will revisit transition/detransition . The next few weeks leading up to and after surgery are going to be very important and I'm sure will bring greater clarity that I can share.
It is so very difficult to watch someone I care about perpetuate trauma upon themselves. I sometimes think it would be better if I was the one who experienced their pain, because I could choose to face it and deal with it. Then I think of the comparatively minor brokenness in myself that I deny and sweep under the rug and I’m amazed by the courage someone like Sam exhibits in facing things that would completely destroy most of us. The best I can do is to offer my support and encouragement to anyone willing to engage in such an inner battle and be an example of dealing with my own shit no matter how daunting or insignificant it may seem.
We’re ALL fuck-ups, Sam. But only those of us who acknowledge it have any hope of un-fucking things. I love and respect you for that, brother!
Yeah, sometimes I just say things out of frustration ! Bless you for these sincere words of fellowship.
I’ve heard this question asked many times in various venues this past month, “What do you want to do with your one precious life?”
“Love”, my only answer. And in this moment of the here and now, I am choosing to love thyself as I do all others, do no harm in response to being harmed, be the witness of my own suffering and set an example of the love I am and seek. Anything is possible with love, and that, there is never too much of. Each moment is a blessed opportunity to heal thyself thereby the world. Love is the only path. It takes God to help me walk that Love walk one baby step at a time, not back, but forth. From the tragic of my trauma, love remains. I was asked as a battered child, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” “Alive to love,” said I.
Alive and Loving, Layne
Thank you Layne. Your sharing is beautiful and poetic. Lovely
May all of our “supply lines” of love from God be expanded beyond what we thought possible, for only then will our outflow of love for each other be increased beyond our needs.
Sam, you are a truth teller. I have found a few therapists on RUclips who have helped me with my CPTSD, but none who really articulate so clearly, in jargon free terms, and from the perspective of the afflicted, what it really takes to transform: tell the truth, own our repeated coping mechanisms, grieve that we have reduced ourselves to those, rage at the injustice of that and our lost time, feel the pain and use it to transform. I really needed to hear your message today----'eat or be eaten by it'. The image of a trapped animal that has to chew off its own leg to free itself comes to mind. Or one that has to lick or consume an infected or rotting part of itself in order to heal and save itself. THANK YOU, and best wishes for the New Year.
Thank you very much Carrie. I'm so happy that my sense making is helping you..... it's helping me too ! May this year bring peace and fulfilment for you.
My niece died last year, at only 25 years old, from a rare and extremely aggressive cancer. The treatment that helped her the most was an experimental gene therapy that reprogrammed her immune system to seek out and eat the cancer cells. Unfortunately for her body’s sake it was too little too late. I believe that many, if not all, people suffer from some type of “soul cancer” which left untreated becomes terminal. We may attempt to fight it with something akin to chemotherapy which often does as much or more damage to who we really are as it does against the actual “cancer”. What we really need is an effective “soul therapy” that reprograms us to recognize and attack only the actual threats that disguise themselves as parts of ourselves and thus allow our truest selves to thrive. It’s likely that the details of this process will vary greatly from person to person, but I think the concept is valid. Does anyone else have any insight as to how we might implement this?
@iymspartacus7089 Life seems so cruel at times and so unjust. We try to make sense of such things but I'm not sure we ever truly can. I'm so sorry for your loss.
After this video today I realised a few important things I will share in the next video that I'll try and record tomorrow.
I think we gradually discern what is truly ours and what is learned or given by others. What is truly ours is found in relationship with God, the truth of each moment beyond self centredness, I think there is where we find our innocence and the conflict and despair of the self we believed ourselves to be , can be seen for what it is, a fiction, a narrative of experience but not the true self, not the essence of what and who we really are.
In this video I spoke about the I that makes and tries to stick to decisions and the conflict we feel over those decisions. There is conflict because we are rooted in the I of our narrative. and not the true I .. The I of narrative feels such fear and desires to escape that fear, it feels unstable, pulled this way and that by its changing moods.
So, I think to heal we must see the I of narrative as just that, not the true I. It takes a long time and fearlessness in the clear seeing of the ugliness of self centredness. Can we admit our own selfishness ? its difficult for most.
As I said in this video and others, when we clearly see the coping identity for what it is, a series of strategies and pleas, the obviousness of its desperation and instability really does become transparent . This is the first real footstep on becoming true. The catastrophic realisation of the false self.
Our healing is really the understanding of this and that our real self, our innocence , remains untarnished and unbroken.
Thank you, Sam. I needed to hear from someone who is going through cptsd and disassociation healing, as myself.
Sam you have no idea how much you have helped me. There was a period that I was avoiding your videos because it meant that I had to look at myself honestly and it felt too painful. But... the coping strategies only work for so long.. the pain underneath grows bigger. It has been so amazing to watch how your content has morphed as you get further in your journey. I have watched most of your videos starting from the very beginning. The earlier videos were a bit confusing.. about being trans and so, it wasn´t clear what you were actually talking about. I kept watching because I wanted to know more and understand. The newer the video was, the more sense you were making. As time went on your coherency and clarity has become stronger and brighter. It´s an amazing transformation to watch. Painful but amazing, the most amazing there is. It´s been such a gift to watch this.
What happens is you really allow us into this journey, to see it, feel it, and grow with you. You have helped me more than any other person on this earth including my family, close friends and my therapist. With you I truly realised who I am, how I´m decieving myself into a false identity to mask my own pain and that I just need to be honest with myself, go into the pain, not try to avoid it at all costs. I have now, closing 40 began to open myself up for the first time to myself and slowly to my partner, some family members and close friends. As I have done so my daily addiction to coping and soothing activities have largely dissolved.
For the first time it´s easier to breath, my mind is clearer, i´m more present and not in constant disorray and confusion in my head. Those secrets, that pain that I have burried deep within myself.. they really aren´t that big of a deal actually.. now that I have brought them to light, all of that shame. The shame made me burry the pain and when the painful things were in darkness they seemed so huge and powerful. Now that I have shared them for the first time, brought them to light, these monsters have lost their power. They seem little and funny. Why was I ever afraid? This is the beginning, my progress starts now. I will continue, this honesty within myself gives me strenght to go further into my fear and pain as you stated. I will fall down but it´s ok, I know now what to do. I feel that once you start this process it´s impossible to turn back because you can see it now.. you can´t unsee what is now clear.
You are a mighty spirit Sam, you shine so brightly! It´s a gift to follow you into the true essense of our beings.
Thank you for letting me know that sharing my own process has helped you. Today is one of those days where I have been full of doubt and self criticism, wondering whether I am making sense, it all seems so abstract sometimes.
Yes, in the beginning I really had no clue who I was, what I'd buried so deeply and just how dissociated and deluded I was, it's been an extremely difficult and painful process...... and still is. To share so openly I still go through periods of terrible vulnerability but these tend to be important signifiers , hinting that I am touching on something deeper that is about to come to the surface .
You are so right , there is no going back. Freedom is beyond self centredness and all its pain, pain that feels so enormous, so impassable but then, looking back, so small............. a choice, an anchor to our own suffering.
Well done ! And thank you for sticking with me and thank you for letting me know that this matters.
Love
Sam
The more painfull the process and sharing is, the more valuable and precious it is as well. Isn´t is amazing? How when you break through of that shame and self critisism, or share despite of that.. how incedibly healing it is for others? For the audience? To be brave enough to verbalize the most hidden painful parts of you, you release the tension and fear that others have about their own dark painful secrets. Why are we hiding from each other when these are the things that heal us all? Sharing that pain brings so much love and acceptance and understanding for ourselves and for others. You showed me that it´s ok. I´m not a freak! We are all the same! We are all little freaks walking around pretending to be "normal". Now with your example I have become open and I´m sharing painful things to others. And then they fell safe to share their pain. It´s a very freeing and healing cycle.
Sure the struggle isn´t over. Behavior that I relied on for decades doesn´t change in one night. But something has shifted, some enormous weight has been lifted. I can breathe. I´m so happy and grateful. Thank you. Thank you for being an example, a great teacher, and inviting us on this journey!🌟❤
Love, Niina from Finland @@Call-Me-Sam
@@cloelles YES ! we need to be real , be vulnerable, be honest , before we can be known and experience intimacy with others. Seeing ourselves clearly is painful but so necessary. As is forgiveness. Most of all, forgiveness for ourselves , which seems the most difficult of all. Wonderful to hear of your progress, keep bringing your light into the world, keep being you...... thats all we need to.
Love
Sam
For anyone here who thinks their will was broken, it wasn't. You're still here. You're still alive. Remind yourself of that, that through all the shit, you stayed alive and use it to keep going. All the love you want to express to another, say it to yourself in the mirror. Do it everyday. I promise promise promise you will see a change because I did. It's slow but effective.
Great advice, thank you for sharing this Ayesha
You are worth loving, Ayesha, and as you realize this you are extending that grace to others. It’s a beautiful thing!
@@iymspartacus7089 thank you, same to you as well.
My next thought was, “ hey it was an assault, not murder”!
I’m here. (Clap,clap)
Just listening here this morning. I listen daily now because it re-directs my tendency to slip back into fixing, coping, pretending.
After I listened, I read this scripture which is talking about the same process of healing from utter personal destruction.
Thus says the LORD:
On that day I will raise up
the fallen hut of David;
I will wall up its breaches,
raise up its ruins,
and rebuild it as in the days of old,
That they may conquer what is left of Edom
and all the nations that shall bear my name,
say I, the LORD, who will do this.
Yes, days are coming,
says the LORD,
When the plowman shall overtake the reaper,
and the vintager, him who sows the seed;
The juice of grapes shall drip down the mountains,
and all the hills shall run with it.
I will bring about the restoration of my people Israel;
they shall rebuild and inhabit their ruined cities,
Plant vineyards and drink the wine,
set out gardens and eat the fruits.
I will plant them upon their own ground;
never again shall they be plucked
From the land I have given them,
say I, the LORD, your God.
- Amos 9:11-15
Note how Sam, has more positive words, and solutions than any other friend, I have. Thank you friend. It’s an honor to call you my friend.
Its so beautiful where you are! Don't be so hard on yourself, I think you are doing great!
Only just discovered you Sam, but the truth you speak really resonates with me. You are so far from a fuck up. You’ve been through so much but look at what you’ve become coming out the other end. Look at how many people you are reaching and inspiring.
Thank you
Happy New Year, Sam.
Thank you for sharing....
...."if we recover loudly, we prevent others from dying quietly "....not sure who said that...
God bless.
Wonderful quote , thank you and Happy new year to you too.
Your abuser will experience the effects of his/her behavior towards you from your perspective, so you don't need to have any concern about that. Not only that, but he/she will also experience the knock on effects of his/her behavior towards you on all those you have interacted with from their perspective - the ripple effect, so countless Near Death Experiencers have reported.. The only thing we need to be concerned about seemingly, is the effect of our own thoughts, attitude and behavior is affecting others now. Thanks for sharing your journey with so much honesty, Clive
Hi Clive, thank you, yes , I completely agree. Once we realise all this, we must take responsibility for ourselves, thought , action , relationship...... every thing matters, everything ripples out into the lives of others. I don't think it's possible to tread so softly through life that we do no harm but we can do our best to move with consideration and compassion.
Well done ! at last you got a comment passed the algorithm.
My compassion and love to you Sam! Thanks so much for sharing your raw and authentic voice! I made a video called amygdala hijack in my channel that was inspired by complex ptsd, the frequent fight/flight response that our emotional flashbacks put us back in. It is a rough road trying to put together the broken pieces that left from years of enduring trauma, but I sincerely hope everyone reading this comment can reach out for help when necessary. Find a way to voice the inner critic, let it breathe and let it burn!
Thank you so much. Yes, the sharpness of amygdala hijacking, such intense fear that clouds our thinking and it comes on so fast. I still get this most weeks . Just this week I really and truly understood just how vital it is for us to stay calm , be peaceful and then gradually increase our tolerance to stress.
It takes so long though but is possible.
Blessings and love to you in your own healing.
Happy new year Sam ❤ it’s been a while since I’ve commented, but I’ve been watching since 2021 and continue to be inspired by your wisdom and life experience. I hope you are remembering to be gracious and gentle with yourself while on this very disciplined, thoughtful, and deep path in life. Not that you need the reminder, although it’s one I seem to forget time to time while digging deeper and seeking truthfulness. Thank you for being you, know that you are heard and loved, far and wide. Hugs from Hawaii!
Bless you, thanks for my hug Drew. I hope you are doing well.
Best with your surgery Sam. Really happy for you that that's finally happening.
Bless you. Thanks Ayesha .
i like ur thought devour the pain and and maybe to see my pain not as a burden but our food for my soul to hold, surender to my connection to god and let god do justice for you through your great gift that you have through transformation and awakening to who we truly are and it is not our pain that we are , we are not our pain we have it to witness it and I think to do things like ur utube is an expression of heaing , I am experiencing wat u r l see u and i also want to be seen an cannot understand Yet wat my expression into form I will have and that thought keeps me fighting off negativity luv u sam
Bless you De. Thank you for sharing these insights ! x
“We are not our pain”!
It’s amazing what a difference our perspective on pain makes in our lives.
When we’re young we are overcome by the pain. We fear the pain. We run and hide from the pain. We avoid the pain. We try to deny the pain. But there is no escape.
As we mature we learn to accept the pain. We start to understand the pain. We embrace the pain that has molded us, yet is not us. We refuse to be enslaved by the pain, but instead learn to tame it and train it to serve us instead. And eventually that pain is transformed from our adversary into a beloved companion that has only our best interests at heart.
Often this just seems like wishful thinking, but I really think I’m starting to see it and maybe even experience it for fleeting moments. Its realization is my prayer for both myself and for you.
think of will as the ability to accept what is rather then this strong will thing
I agree. I'll share some thoughts on this in the next vid
Accepting it is the first step toward transforming it into something meaningful.
Don’t ask for suffering or repel it. Make friends with it. It’s a part of god. Without the wind the roots grow shallow and the trees fall. Death of the leaves generates new life for the soil. The feeling of retribution is justified, may be they do deserve wrath. But if you give in, then they get all of you. Keep yourself.
Wise words. Thank you.
Happy new year Sam! Wish you will heal your trauma this year, no negative thoughts and new goals and opportunities! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you,
Welcome back Dear Sam, & Happy New Year. Thankyou for your wisdom, clarity & inspired insight. Using the pain as fuel - that’s an absolutely inspired concept. I can’t thank you enough for this (and all you do for your tribe. We are all in this together, after all…. ) Endless thanks & love to you.
Thank you. Blessings and love to you too.
What a walking masterpiece.
Thank you.
Thank you soooo much for your videos Sam!! Keep going forward, keep posting- a lot of people walk with you. Me too. And I am trying to and love to support you with money but tomorrow I see someone who can help me with PayPal problems 😅
Your channel gives me hope
Like, share, and subscribe.
Ever heard, the expression; “sitting on the fence” ?
Your video just championed me off and over the fence.
It is such a strange experience.
Thank you for being in this experience with me.
I get glimpses of my will, post allowing the good in.
It’s doublethink. Thank you for the video.
Hey Sam, We were, at one time, fuck ups. I know I was. I am much less a fuck up 24 years sober. You are not a fuck up, if you are on the road to wholeness and peace, right ??
In 1993, I lost an ex to suicide, which made my alcoholism much worse. In 1994, I was diagnosed with AIDS, told I was going to die, and that was it. I got sober, it only lasted so long.
The man who saved me, (I call him God, he called himself Todd) Told me this: There is a furnace in your belly. (All that fear, anger, sorrow, pain, abuse, etc.) I want you to take all that negativity and pain, and push it down, into your furnace, and Let it BURN !! Use that fire to keep you alive. And it did. everyone else I knew died in short order. And that has been what I have done for the whole of my life, now that I am sober once again. I am a few years older than you are now. 57 next month.
All I can think is I want to buy you are scarf as a belate present.Sam. 😂You must be freezing. Happy new year.
Thanks Tish... I'm pretty weathered and tough as an old boot ! Happy new year .
Love your videos and i can relate to you. God Bless you
Thank you
Hi Sam, was wondering if you plan to start reading from your poetry books again. I remember you had one author who I think you said is your favorite. I forgot the mans name. Hope you had a good Christmas and I wish you a really good new year. God bless.
Thank you Terry. I may do readings again. Walk and talks are much more natural, thoughts flow more easily and I don't think, just talk. So, yes, I will read from lovely locations again.
@@Call-Me-Samthanks for the reply. I see what you’re saying. Walking and talking is more natural. Maybe a reading if you do a video at home.
@@KA2HRO 👍
Your video was not rambling. Is giving me insight into someone I love. I suspect has suffered childhood trauma which has manifested in transgender. Perhaps you can create a video on helping someone or walking away? The person does not want to acknowledge it I just suspect it from hints. Love to you!
Thank you Melody. We all need to come to our own awakening, if we told or pushed too soon, we juts resist. There is so much bubbling to the surface for me right now, I have lots I want to say and I will revisit transition/detransition .
The next few weeks leading up to and after surgery are going to be very important and I'm sure will bring greater clarity that I can share.
@@Call-Me-Sam I know so many people have no spiritual desire or insight. I will be praying for you.
@@melodygill7391 Thank you
It is so very difficult to watch someone I care about perpetuate trauma upon themselves. I sometimes think it would be better if I was the one who experienced their pain, because I could choose to face it and deal with it. Then I think of the comparatively minor brokenness in myself that I deny and sweep under the rug and I’m amazed by the courage someone like Sam exhibits in facing things that would completely destroy most of us. The best I can do is to offer my support and encouragement to anyone willing to engage in such an inner battle and be an example of dealing with my own shit no matter how daunting or insignificant it may seem.
Thank you so much.
🔥
12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous; Step 4: Made a searching and _fearless_ moral inventory of ourselves.
seeing ourselves clearly is so important. How can we see or know the world or anyone else if we don't even know our selves.
Thanks Phillip
🖤
Thank you Alex
@@Call-Me-Sam :))
hi sam x
Hey D X