Have You Ever Suffered From LIMERENCE - Understanding the Connection and How to Heal
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- Опубликовано: 18 авг 2024
- Have You Ever Suffered From LIMERENCE - Understanding the Connection and How to Heal
What is limerence and why is it such a powerful feeling? Limerence in an immediate attraction and mental obsession with a specific person. This sensation of deep connection and chemistry feels overwhelming and you find yourself saying, “I’ve never felt this way before.”
Intoxicating emotions accompany the obsessive thoughts and intense feelings, taking a grip upon your life making it difficult to focus on anything else. Limerence can feel like “love at first sight,” yet you know little of this person. You’ve not established coupledom, nor passed the honeymoon stage’s infatuation period.
This video defines limerence and the characteristics that separate it from a crush, infatuation, and love. You will learn what Limerence is and how to escape the loop of its obsessive hold over your thoughts and emotions.
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KEYWORDS
limerence, relationship psychology, limerence psychology, limerence or love, overcome limerence, symptoms of limerence, understand limerence, what is limerence, limerence and phases of attraction, what does limerence mean, what triggers limerence, difference between limerence and love, how to deal with limerence, what causes limerence, what does limerence feel like, stages of limerence, wife in limerence, what does limerence look like, limerence definition, limerence stages,
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Thank you for helping me heal Susan. 🙏 This is the absolute best explanation of limerence on RUclips!
The hardest thing about limerence, is that the remote of your mood is in their hands and they have totally no clue or idea how you feel and you cannot tell them…
💯
Actually, i do tell them.. he knows i'm in limerence.
Limerance made me stuck on an emotional unavailable man (thinking he’s the one) for 7 months!!!! Glad i ended it.
: thank you Susan for this topic. Limerence is still kind of new to many therapists. They don’t understand the tremendous pain from the withdrawal of limerence . it can cause anxiety, depression, even suicidal thoughts. Limerence is like love addiction. It causes the mental loops for people not be able to get out of it. Instead of using no contact to cut the cord with the fantasy person and get our lives back, many people watch “ how to manifest the SP “ “ twin flame “ videos on RUclips. This only keeps the limerence alive and prolongs the pain from recovery. :(
Fantastic commentary and thank you for your share Andrew. Really appreciate that perspective.
Law of attraction works
Exactly!! This twin flame B.S. is so utterly dangerous to men and women alike. I stopped watching all of those videos and want nothing to do with my twin or any other fantasy person. Eventually, I want a REAL, reciprocal relationship that happens in reality and not fantasy.
When you are conscious of limerence, you definitely should try to get out of it. If you believe its a TF than you can attract them but you will be conscious not to obsess over it. Say it once, mean it, and be done. This is the most healthy way to go about manifestations and TF experiences.
Everything is so spot on. I loved this. I recently went through such a bad limerence about a year and a half ago. This guy started at my job and I was instantly physically attracted to him. He was 100% my type from head to toe; voice, hair, face, body, everything. It was intoxicating. I had avoided love for so long that I thought "this might be the one, so let's try". Oh boy, I would have saved myself so much heartbreak had I known better, but I went through such a huge transformation because of it. To add to the story, the guy had a girlfriend and even entertained me and flirted back. Hell, we even went out on a date. I remember I had like 20 dreams in a month about him. It was the craziest time in my life. Emotions were amplified 50x and everything was chaotic. I was immature, young at heart, and broken from my family. I didn't understand the connection and like Susan mentioned, I eventually found zodiac/tarot and consulted psychics. I looked up twin flames, soul mates, etc. I legit thought he was my twin flame. After realizing it was CPTSD and limerence, I knew this was not my twin flame. I was obese and poorly took care of myself. I told myself I deserve better than an emotionally unavailable man whom I had no business going towards as he was in a relationship. He wasn't even gay! I had to be real with what I deserved and I had to go out and give it to myself. I started eating healthier, actually brushing my teeth/flossing/clean tongue 2x a day, shower every day + moisturize body, I journal my emotions now, I see a therapist every 2 weeks to regulate myself, I moved out of my parents house and live on my own. I lost 85 pounds to date and I'm actually on dating apps going on dates and talking with guys. It was so hard to direct my mind towards the future and build a better life for myself. I had to look at my attachments issues (god, the jealousy and extreme anxiety I would feel in limerence was crazy). 2023 was a hell of a year of transformation for me. I really put so much work into myself to change my trajectory in life. I was even able to be inspirational to those at my job for losing so much weight! I am facing new challenges now being where I am with dating + finding my life's passion but I am so thankful tarot came into my life. It taught me so much spiritual wisdom and gave me the knowledge I needed to take control of my life. I am so thankful for the psychics that sat there listening to my story and helped guide me. I'm also so thankful to my therapist for listening to my emotions and helping me direct my thoughts to more positive ones. His voice stays in my head when I need it and gives me strength. I'm very thankful for that guy for coming into my life. Without him, I would have still been obese, living with my parents, struggling to deal with my broken soul, and having no passion for life. Maybe he was a soulmate meant to push me forward, who the heck knows. But I now look back with gratitude and I'm able to work with him now without feeling anxious or a pull like I had before (yes, he is still at my job but on a different shift thankfully so I see him once in a blue moon). Everyday I am a work in progress. It's like the movie ended at a theatre documenting the last 31 years of my life and I get up and think "So where will this story go now? I have the power to change this." Thank you Susan for the video!
Limerence is such a painful, situation to be in. Even once I understood what it was I still couldn’t shake it off. It took me over a year to began to let go of my obsession with this man who did not want me. I’m finally accepting it. I’m finally free it takes time but I’m finally free.
Thank you for this video 🤗
I've been suffering from limerence for the past 5 months. My limerence object made it clear that he doesn't like me the way I like him. Since I met him the previous time, I'm on constant emotional rollercoaster. Sometimes it feels ok, but than suddenly I'm overwhelmed with anxiety, and anxiety attacks, and this anxious state can last for days. We don't stay in touch, I haven't seen him, or heard from him since we met the previous time, when I realised I crushed on him so bad. But zero contact didn't help healing my limerence. Meditations, videos on YT, etc. didn't help either. I'm taking herbal calming pills to help with anxiety attacks, and it's the only thing tha seem to help a bit . Due to various reasons I can't get therapy either. I never felt this way before, it even feels worse than a breakup somehow. It's funny how someone I know almost nothing about can make me feel this way. I'm desperate to get out from this state
Only Jesus can give you the deliverance and peace you need.
I also experienced limerence because of trauma and will power didn't help until I gave it all to Jesus, asking Him for healing and submitted my life to Him.
Love and Blessings
I HAVE suffered through bad limericks, though...
Cute!!
I'm definitely in a limerance loop. I'm obsessed with him but he treats me poorly. But somehow I'm still desperate to be with him. It's his pulling away and the unstable footing that keeps me going back. You are spot on here! Real true love that is solid can be so boring! But this loop is destroying my self esteem so it must end. Thank you Susan xx
You are welcome, Sarah
Thank you sooo much for this video. I had limberance. I saw him everywhere, thought about him constantly. It was painful to be away from him. He felt my depression/my energy. I definitely think that I had to go threw that pain to ultimately come back to Jesus Christ. Amen. You’ll never get the guy in an obsessive state bc it creates resistant (self sabotage), you have to detach. Love God and trust in his Word. Bc giving a man that much power is dangerous bc he’ll take advantage. For that reason, limberance isn’t love. He doesn’t love you sis. You idolize him. Put him on a pedestal that he doesn’t deserve to be on. You are seeing things thru rose colored glasses. It’s all a fantasy. I distortion of the mind. Obsession isn’t love. God is love. And he doesn’t want you to be treated that way.
Amen to this whole comment. So true. I had to return to Christ.
Amen, I'm going through the same thing
I miss limerance. I had someone to think about, I got to feel what love would feel like. I had fantasies--it made me feel not alone on holidays. Now it's just gone...I work, clean house and sleep but no high points in my year without limerance.
That’s why you had limerence. It usually appears when there’s something lacking in our lives. It creates excitement.
Then let‘s trade, you crazy individual because there is nothing exciting about linerence, It’s destroying.
I read so much about this when it happened. All those hormones, incredible!! I tried to rationalize the all process. I knew it wasn't possible to feel like that for a person I didn't really know. It was a fight with myself but I won at the end.
How long it took you ?
Limerance is usually present in people who have been emotionally neglected in a relationship.
You can say this again!
I’m experiencing this!
Susan! You are magical. You have no idea how much your videos have helped my mental health. This video has been the best one so far for my situation. And I have let go and realized what I was doing. Thank you
Chelsea! This is a wonderful message. And better yet because you realize that this is a mental loop. I know it feels real. But it’s a loop. Remember, there is a trick to this. Keep the dream, replace the person.❤
I’ve been very aware of the word ‘liminal’ in recent years but not ‘limerence’. Your definition and comparing and contrasting between obsession and real love is really helpful to me just now as I slowly strive through what seems like some kind of quantum entanglement, as understood by Aliki Hoidas. Many thanks for sharing your wonderful insight and wisdom.
Dang! just learned I am in Limberance. 😅😢. I know that its something that I created in my mind in order to not fall in love with someone else and I did with this one. I must destroy it now. Its becoming very consuming. The bred crumming the ghosting the knowing that I am just one of many, not knowing where I am on his list. The significant age difference 17 years. Hes younger. He has his whole life ahead of him, I dont. The reapearing game and the cycle of all over again. If I could just get him out of my heart and of my mind I will be fine. I just need it to end, it is so hurtful. 😭
Extremely well timed video :(
I love it when that happens. Almost every time I post a video somebody tells me that’s exactly what they needed to hear. Huge thanks to the universe and synchronicity!
@@SusanWinter - Not to mention I'm a long time subscriber to your channel so I get pretty much all your videos but yeh, recent events are driving me nutz! 🥴
Thanks for acknowledging my comment and all that you do 🙏🕉
Omg, just when I thought that dating couldn’t possibly get more confusing! 😂😂
Not to worry! We’re here to help each other. And your higher self will always be able to discern the truth.
I've never heard of this before. But the timing could not have been more perfect. I have this new crush at the gym and I am experiencing this limerence on every level. Every single thing you said has been me for the last 2 weeks To the point where it scared me and had me crying for 24 hours because my crush gave me mixed signals after introducing himself to me in the gym parking lot and talking for 15 minutes talk about idealizing every word that came out of his mouth. He has no idea how hard I'm falling for him. A basic stranger. I feel like a teenager in the 53-year-old body. This shouldn't be and I don't know why it is but it feels childish. I wonder if this comes from my 18 year old previous toxic relationship and now I'm damaged goods.
Been in a limerance with a fictional crush for 1 year.Please help😭
I always refer to your videos for support when I'm having trouble and feeling down and having a hard time understanding men's behavior. You're wonderful. I'm going to keep this particular one because I know I'm going to have a hard time again when I see him
Great advice, as always. Thanks so much Susan!
You are so welcome!
It also really sucks to be the object of someone's limerence. It's rough when you realize they were in love with someone who isn't even you; and so the whole thing was a fraud.
Good to have you back - missed you Susan.
Excellent conversation 👌
I've been in a Twin Flame situation. In July 2022, my final meeting happened and it was a brutal discard. I just couldn't believe what happened/what it was - specially the telepathy aspect.
On researching I learn about Narcissism which was explaining 40% of the situation, Other 40% was my codependency and the telepathy was the remaining 20%.
Things just heightened up so much after that. My emotions/My mental process just everything about me. And things are changing inside me (Your twin flame video is just so on point, I can't thank you enough for that). Your videos gave me sanity where i thought i am becoming a psychological case.
I still think about that person on a daily basis. Not in a loving way. But like - Should I go for revenge or should I let it go and focus on the "Assignment" (your word on this TF situationship) .
I'm still being breadcrumbed by her every 1-2 month just to keep me on strings. As she is the "catalyst" she doesn't know what this situation really is but many things inside me are changing.
Is this Limerence? I am not able to stop this state.
Thanks again for your videos. There was a time where I couldn't trust myself because i was so much in dissonance. At that time I wrote this that If I can't trust my analysis, I trust Susan's analysis (because judging from your videos, I knew you were right and honest and not doing this in any money minded way as some other people are uploading false videos on TF where they havr absolutely no idea what this really is.)
If you have read this comment, Please consider replying. Seriously need your help.
This is an absolutely beautiful share, and I thank you so much. From what you’ve written it feels like a twin flame situation to me. Especially because of the psychic connection. Please remember, the twin flame comes to push us forward. But I use the word catalyst specifically for them, because the catalyst affects our change, but does not change in of itself. And they’re in lies the tragedy. And they’re in lies your pain. It feels so powerful that we desperately want it to be romantic and sustainable. Yet it is not. It’s a process. It will fade. But you will remain forever transformed and for the better. This is not a time for resentment or revenge. The gem is on the other side of this realization.
@@SusanWinter Thank you the reply, Thank you for your videos. You have no idea how much it helped me. Thank you 😊
OMG you are so smart, great content. I’d love to see more on this…
OK then! More to come. Please let me know what you’d like me to discuss. You can write your request on the contact page of www.susanwinter.net. There’s a section at the bottom that says “video request.”
Susan that 5 minute mark to 7 minutes mark!!!!!!! u are literally exposing my life right now. This person is literally doing this to me right now 😩😩😩
Thank you so much for this. My whole life has been limerence. I feel sooo seen, and soo called out. Thank you ❤
Its the nearest thing to psychosis a normal person can get
limerence is like a drug I can't get enough-add ptsd into the mix and voila it is really bad rollercoaster ride that it seems to never end until one day it does. I find it exhausting, thrilling add some fun into this mix. boy oh boy I am happy when it is over
Here we go, one of my fave topics! ❤️🔥
JORDY!!!!!! I’ve had a lot of requests for this topic over the years and finally I’ve made the video for you and everybody else. Love your Halloween outfit by the way.
Thank you for sharing this. I think we've all been there to some extent.
The rational understanding of limerence doesn´t really help to resolve that feeling. Can you make a video on how to specifically get over it, please?
The answer is to deconstruct them as the perfect ideal. It's based in the fantasy. I think I covered that pretty clearly but perhaps it was missed in the rest of the conversation
Wow, I probably needed to hear this as I’ve been stuck in some limerence the last couple years! What if you never really seem to get the real thing though?? I’m 46 and have struggled most of my life with relationships.
This was so helpful, thank you Susan.❤️
Neat! 💜 Again I learned something new from you! 🤗
I've been there ❤
❤
OMG YESS!! love this!!
I don't just say I love people. I fell in love and didn't know. And walked away because I sensed a 3rd party. And long story and it's real amd I looked up limerence and no it isn't that. Inhave tried cutting cords we are tslking supernatural and unexplainable. Rare connection. Shocked and freaked me.out.
Maybe it’s a twin flame situation. Were you actually in a relationship? For twin flame to exist you actually have to interact and be involved with each other.
I'm intuitive and empathetic highly and see right through her. I don't know this person inn3D
Beautiful ❤
How is this so timely I have no understanding why. Scorpio month of Obsession 🙁
That I didn’t know. But I do love synchronicity. And something brought you to look at this video. So you are being guided as well
For me it was not hard to understand it wasn't love but breaking the bond is hard since I feel like I know her and I feel like only she can understand me even though I know how illogical that sounds. And since she knows that I am bonded to her she uses my affection, don't know how to cut the ties and what can I learn from this process
You will get tired in time of feeling this way. It is the natural course of things. So please don’t despair. The only hold this person has over. You is the one that you’ve allowed so far. Please please believe they are not the ‘only’ one because of your experience.
Is it possible for it not to be limerance and still feel like I never felt this way before. Both of us have said we are not interested in fantasy. Or i guess can it start as limerance and transfer into a real relationship? We talk everyday when we cant be together. We started as a long distance relationship and now have lived together for a little over a year. I did move states away but i really honestly enjoy the area and we have common interests. He is on the road a lot for work but communicates a lot and we talk about what retirement will look like for us. It started out slow and he always has my back and yes i see his flaws but i love him anyway flaws and all.
You state that you’ve been together for over a year. You have passed the stage of Limerence and the stage of infatuation. So this is a very good sign! And you’re in a real relationship. Those are all part of the definition that I identified as being the difference between a crush, infatuation, the honeymoon period and limerence
@@SusanWinter yeah I guess so! Tonight he's coming back from being away from work and while I'm happy to see him all I can think about is I'm tired and ready to sleep. As in real sleep not sexy time. 🤣 so I guess I am knee deep in real boring life which is more of a relief because I have had enough of drama in relationships to last a lifetime. Boring is the new comfort. It's like a fluffy blanket.
Thank you.
❤❤❤
"Eventually the object of your desire withdraws, you lose hope, self-correct and you let go" Sounds like a near worst case scenario is how this will play out. LOLOLOL.
I wonder what motivates this addiction 6:10 ? Is it a low self esteem, wanting to escape reality?
Yes
@@beachgirl4 thank you 💕
Yes. Limerence is the way we are escaping from the reality to the fantasy. We create a fantasy on that person. We put that person on the pedestal to admire, adore, obsess, and attach to. Once we realize that the reality does not match our fantasy , we will experience the withdrawal from Limerance. And the withdrawal can be very painful …
@@andrewchao4156 Thank you. This is spot on! 💕
Hope is part of the motivation. A glimmer of something that is desired and wanted in our lives. Sometimes it’s just the convergence of all the right factors. One could’ve been alone for a long time and finally met somebody with whom they connect. It’s so many things. But they are the blank canvas that we throw our dreams upon in a case, such as like limerence
Hi Susan can you talk about limerence and rebound relationships? My ex left me for someone else. It’s only been 2 months and he told me he loves her. I’m trying to move on and it’s so hard but I can’t believe that he could love someone so quickly. We were together for 5.5 years and have a child together. I feel like he’s not thinking clearly.
I hear everywhere "this isn't the real thing" , "that isn't neither "
my question is "where IS the real thing"
as Black Eyes Peas sang: "where's the love" 😢
btw I had limerance for three years, today I finally had some closure 💔. I'm heart broken 😢
Hey Susan I’ve been a loyal fan from the start I appreciate you a lot , help a girl out please there’s this guy in my class who keeps looking at me sometimes 30 min straight he glances from time to time too we never talked but whenever we are forced in one room he cannot sit with me he saw me and literally turned back in shock same yesterday we had eye contact by accident and he literally walked the whole class the other way while his chair is 1m away does it mean something? Ps i love u so much
Could this last 6.5 years? Could I be hooked for so long? He left me for the woman he was with just before me after 6.5 years. He lived with me for 1.5 years.
It sounds like you had a real relationship Janet. And that it ran its course, at least for your partner. Mourning the death of a relationship is natural. But I wouldn’t doubt what you did experience in the 6.5 years. Just because he went back to his ex doesn’t erase the experience you shared.
wait, were you saying you were together for 6.5 years? sorry please ignore my other comment. I thought you were saying you have been apart for 6.5 years and i was just affirming that yes, some people do have limerence for that long but if you were together that isn't limerence
🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏
Sounds like trauma based mind control
I have tried cutting the cord many times nope. The bond is unbreakable. Im.lonely and have been wanting sex and mynhigher power is like no. Or giving me experiences and it has been negative. I'm not able to be with another woman. I like women and sometimes taking Testosterone csn change your sexual orientation. I feel more or a man and sex is hetersexual is my authentic self snd I have no penis. A . I have prosthetic. Helps. Toys. I miss women and I haven't seen pictures of this woman recently and my heart almost dropped inthought she was with someone. I try not to but the heart wants what it wants madam. I'm in another state and city. I left my hometown area of 48nyears and iam FTM at 54 yra. Cis women need to give transmen a change and is another choice right.
Work with Me: susanwinter.net/consultation/
Spot on!
Had this going on for THREE years!!!
He was hot and cold and I just could not shake him because feelings were sooo intense with him.
One day recently I just jad enough and told him that what he offered was not enough...and that was it for that!!!