Onion Explains: Putin's Russia
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- Опубликовано: 2 авг 2015
- How does Vladimir Putin run Russia’s hostile, authoritative regime? The Onion explains Putin’s Russia.
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Приколы
"You either die believing the onion to be a satirical news report or live long enough to watch it become a reality"
OP -- You make no sense. The onion is a vegetable.
@@robertveith6383 Are you sure it's not a fruit? I was told it was a fruit.
Bravo bravo!! 👏🏼👍🏼
@@robertveith6383 it identifies as a fruit
@Vito Hezzy Callie I'm pretty sure that's a slur now and they prefer to be called above ground edible substances.... fucking Twitter... lol
BREAKING NEWS:
A journalist for "The Onion" recently killed himself while he slept by placing a pillow on top of his face, then shooting himself 9 times. More of this at 5.
Hmmmmmm did he cover this story later?
He got Epstein'd
@@FancyGonkBoi O O F
Beware of the self-inflicted airstrike.
Putin's government have expressed their sincere condolences, with Putin himself referring to it as the worst reported case of suicide that he's ever heard of.
It’s true - I criticised Russia’s economy and Putin called me a fatty.
This terrorism cannot continue.
Fatty
He want ask you.
F A T T Y
That's cuz u maybe r
So many putins around here
1:12 "Ukraine were pretty much alone on this one"
Aged like wine of the fine variety
SHEEEEEEEEEESH LMAO
BURNED
they are not alone we supply them for free and we stopped business with russia
@@jeffreylebowski2440 Naw they're alone now.
@@jeffreylebowski2440 flooding ukraine with weapons and putting a few sanctions on Russia?
I bet that will help repel an army!
The Onion's time machine worked wonders once again.
The Onion, is everywhere all the time..
@@phdonme1 the word you're looking for is omnipotent.
@@sleazymeezy actually it’s omnipresent. As in present everywhere. Omnipotent means all POWERful
Because apparently the US alone sending billions of dollars in aid to Ukraine is standing off to the sidelines, I think the Ukrainians took ungratefulness lessons from Africans.
They don't have a time machine, they were just paying attention to what russia was already doing back then, whereas most weren't.
"If a man can't do a quad, what kind of man is he?" agreed
joe monroe so true. i can't do a quad. apparently that makes me not gay.
I fuck quads every day, you can really bend their legs back. I must be the manliest of men.
he is nothing
joe monroe You mean SQUAT!?
@@LittleRainGames 🙄
Its interesting how Africa suddenly stopped existing
Just checked Google earth it's still there.
Simo bummer
so did iceland and greenland
Afri what? We don't care about some small, shitty foreign places. This is 'Murica!
Wait, what's Africa?
No one can fault Putin on his position with men's ice skating.
The gulags are a lot more fun since the introduction of free access ice skating rinks!
I see what you did there...
"The most dangerous people are the ones I cannot find a high school year book for" - Vladimir Putin
This was pretty tame.
Putin must have dirt on the Onion.
Yeah he has records of the Onion crying a lot.
...And there's that damning videotape of them saying "You too!" after the waitress told them to enjoy their meal.
He knows their incognito browser history.
@@virginiagould3167 or the time they pushed on a door with a pull sign.
1:20 missed oppertunity to show switzerland as neutral
Missed opportunity to get the point.
Yeah they could have gone with a joke so lame that even you can come up with it.
Instead they chose to say something poignant that flies right over your head.
And that is why you don't work for the Onion.
@@Schwallex Wow
@@Schwallex jesus christ calm your shit down
OP didn't deserve your frustration
@@Schwallex feel any better?
@@Schwallex Plot twist - this guy writes for Onion
I love how people don't realize that as much as this is a satire of Russia it's also a satire of the west. Great video as always Onion.
@elijah mikle No, no, no.. They literally only hinted at the West being to lenient on Russian aggression. Just- stop.
elijah mikle You’re such a tool.
@@PigeonFlare lmao he is right they are making fun of anti russian propaganda you dumbfucks
@@applebl3ach 1:20
Well it is true. This isn’t parody the truth. The men’s figure skating one is the only one that is satire.
Hard to read subtitles when you understand what he saying 😂
what was he actually saying?
@inc.opt.63 T-That can't be true. The onion's translation is top tier and it was obviously about the person not being man enough to do a quad.
Truzt me. I know vhat Mr. Pouteen had saiD.
@inc.opt.63 Actually you translated to nice .He sad bitch I wasn't in power and bla bla bla .
@inc.opt.63 I thought the onion would hire a a Russian speaker and just let a Putin clip play over the audio that is actually the translation of the subtitles dann
This is why the onion is the only source of news I trust these days.
i cant like it
jesus , how bad are the news where you are from
@@ahmedelmasri9332 I believe that he was joking but in America news are that bad
@@grandadmiralthrawn3164 I know my friend, I was joking too
@@ahmedelmasri9332 During corona my television provider added a bunch of U.S news networks so that "we could follow corona events" and I checked them out. But they were so bad. On CNN you just have a bunch of liberals shit talking conservatives and on Fox there are conservatives shit talking liberals. It must be impossible to get actual news and not just propaganda. When watching news I will either watch the BBC when it is about world events, and otherwise I use the public service in my own country SVT (Sveriges Television).
The Onion never disappoints
Michael Diedrich Why no first?
The topical is great! Listen to it every day
sadly they are fully on point
it ageed well
"by implying Kremlin's vast surveillance system"
*shows London's surveillance system
1:26 R.I.P. Greenland. You will be missed.
ffarkasm and Africa. And Iceland.
Humanity's last hope of surviving the pandemic has just vanished.
Now, we are on our own...
There's a whole continent missing and you're concerned about Greenland
I love how bluntly and matter of factly they explain things whilst slipping in jokes.
The rest of the world really did basically do nothing when Crimea was annexed.
UN are assholes
Don’t they always? Nobody does anything unless it’s in their economic interests. Ukraine is not worth fighting for. So, good luck to them.
@@BellalisDope well seems they’re doing pretty well
@@BellalisDopeIn a similar fashion the rest of the world had once decided that Austria, Czechoslovakia and eventually Poland weren't worth fighting for.
Funny how the most ignorant people always have the strongest opinions.
this aged like fine wine. ukraines losses are in 500k@@Unkown5536
This did not just age well. It did not freking age. It is current. When current events finally out do the onion you just dig a hole and crawl in it because we will then be beyond hope.
Not normally one to endorse any of Putin's garbled visions but when he is right he is right.
leninstreet Yep, they were robbed at the winter games.
leninstreet which is never, figure skating aside.
***** Yeah but in figure skating he is making a lot of good points. Nobody can take that away from him.
Why don't you move to Russia then.
+OrangeJews1138 Because there are more important things then figure skating.
loved how they managed to mostly not get too political even with this kind of subject, good job
DarkAnimaYT You can guarantee, despite its non-political presentation, someone will manage to politicize the video in the comment section.
Yeah because the murderer of thousands of journalists, business opponenents and any risk to power - including the murder of the leader of political opposition Boris Nemtov in 2015
- www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/03/23/here-are-ten-critics-of-vladimir-putin-who-died-violently-or-in-suspicious-ways
- uk.businessinsider.com/list-of-people-putin-is-suspected-of-assassinating-2016-3
- www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=11799424
- www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-critics-of-vladimir-putin-who-died-20170325-story.html
- www.politifact.com/punditfact/article/2016/jan/04/does-vladimir-putin-kill-journalists/
- www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/uk-police-evidence-russian-assassins-behind-14-suspicious-deaths-british-soil-boris-berezovsky-scot-a7793151.html
And these are just the high profile deaths. If you want to be really depressed, Google journist murders in Russia - it reads like a phone book.
But yeah! great comment! No reason to get too political, right? You are a complete -
It's the onion
I used to get political. But the I took a "liberal" to the knee.........
@@furqueue9590
Seems like someone isa bit too salty.
Now that I'm learning russian I understand how german people feel when watching the Hitler's rant parodies ahah
he was talking about a disposition? and i heard the word 'government' in there. he was like 'and then in order for it to mean something?' . людей.. (ты) говоришь.. о том. 'the people ... you are talking .. about. '
It's true. During the Winter Olympics the Russians accused athletes of deliberately flushing toilet paper despite the fact they were told it would clog the system... and they had the tapes to prove they were doing it !
1:16 Onion's writers are psychic
2:20 I understand russian. I can confirm the translation is legit
I understand just a tiny bit of Russian and this comment made me so confused xD
this used to be considered absurd.
They forgot to mention that Putin has the best Your Mom jokes
oh no in russia, 'yer mama' jokes are not found funny by surrounding people. wouldnt even joke about their enemies' mamas. its too rude =O..O=
They got Ukraine right😂
To be fair, Plushenko was Amazing...
Russian spy
March 2022
This video hits HARD
This has aged much too well
You joke about it, but learning about people's embarrassing secrets is exactly how the Church of Scientology stifles dissent
Onion videos still relevant 7 years later…
well.......this has certainly aged appropriately
"If a man can't do a quad, what kind of a man is he?"
Dang! That hit me hard! I cant even lift one leg without falling all over..smh
And then it all came true.
Okey it's confirmed, this guys have a time machine...
They have a super advance satellite that can brought cast news from the future. It's canon.
"Ukrain is pretty much alone on this one." This aged well.
As a westerner it is so frustrating to witness all of this.. Governments aside from the US pretty much doing nothing.. the local populace actively opposing action against russia..
I hate this planet and its godforsaken population.
Whoever took the time to masterfully match the video and subs has my sincere gratitudes.
Seriously, RUclips algorythm is wild lately....
I criticized Russian state and Putin called me a communist. He thought it was an insult.
Commie
This is a joke
it is though
Everything makes sense now
2:20 I’m Russian and this scene was even funnier because I actually understood what he was saying
same haha
What was he saying?
@@PrincessLockette He was talking about Syria and Assad at first, then he was saying he didn't have as much influence when medvedev was president for 4 years
@@andreykravchenko6829 he said he had absolutely no influence on protection of rights during the 4 years, not just "not as much influence".
@@andreykravchenko6829stop spreading misinformation, subtitles exactly match his speech 😂
It's a satire but so true today especially Ukraine part :(
Have you lived under a rock. The onion's press are made out of time travelers, though they just set their clocks wrong so they got the dates wrong. causing it to be released early
@@darknessblades oh yeah forgot about that
1:15 aged like fine wine
How?
Wow this aged amazingly actually 😂
If only we had listened
I love how they translated Putin with similar pauses and tone as his speech. It's all about the details. Well done!
What was Putin actually saying in that clip?
@@pierrecuriesomething about Syria conflict at first (you can hear him mentioning Assad). Then he was talking about him having less influence under the Medvedev rule, and how he didn't control the law enforcement or justice system in that period of time.
1:02 This aged perfectly
This has aged well.
It's amazing how long the onions been around yet u stil get people thinking it's real
One born every minute!
It is simply yet to be real.
1:13 aged too well
Well that's a lot of uploads. Go Onion.
Combo [x2]!
atomheartother fox is to cnn what cnn is to the onion.
Lol this is a joke, its a parody of western MSM
1:25 Afroca, Greenland and Iceland thank the editors of the map😂😂
The “This aged well” comments have aged well.
this "these "this aged well" comments aged well" comment, aged well.
This "This these comments" comments have age well.
Oh my god, this aged like fine wine (just like any onion video tho)
This aged well
damn you and your prophetic writers the onion™
Haha nice.My favourite description of russia so far "That country that's hilarious until it Suddenly Isn't!"
The hell does that even mean?
2022 here, that moment where it isn’t has officially came.
This be hitting different now...
1:02 just like the simulations
Haha that Ukraine joke aged like fine wine.
This piece aged like fine wine
that's funny how at the end subtitles are saying the ice skating when really is talking about Syrian crisis lol
I'm glad that the world did end up caring about Ukraine and that we are helping them.
@@walkingcarpet420 so funny how you liked your own reply. Like someone came along besides you and me in the last days and thought what you had to say was interesting. Dude, it's obvious. Just delete ur sad little comment and save yourself the embarrassment that you know I know ur a pathetic twad that likes his own comments.
Wow ur sad.
@@Gdub33ok calm down you already killed him, plus he’s still get over the fact that he was taken from the garbage bin at the back of the abandoned Burger King
If they really cares they would have already send their full force.
@@just_a_turtle_chad no they wouldn't. No one wants to start WW 3. If that wasn't a possibility we'd be there.
@@walkingcarpet420 no, because peace a this point would be worse than death. As long as death is more favprable than a "peace" where life will be worthless, it will continue.
2022 history repeats itself.
This time Russia russia thought they might try "small girls' skating" but lost in that as well
Your Africa-less map is brilliant :D
No
also no Greenland..
And South America
Well this escalated quickly... In 7 years.
This one really aged
RUclips has a weird sense of humour to reccomend me this after Navalny's condemnation
I was starting to think that the Onion was beginning to lose it. So glad to see that I was wrong.
More of these please
I adore the fact that there are clueless people who think this is an actual short documentary
Christian Jones-Hickey well the only part not true is the skating part.
I guess you can't do quads.
It turned into one
The Onion was quite literally ahead of it's time. Holy crap...
1:02
Damn, this aged like wine
This hits hard now
I said Putin maybe shouldn't have poisoned that one guy and the FSB called my mum gay! 😭
It felt like a hypersonic missile to the heart. 💔
One thing I love about Onion is that their news and opinions are always unbiassed
When you understand Russian, the fake subtitles stop being funny.
that's very true.
***** Don't you mean his speech?
Nah, not if you listen to the speech first, and then scroll back to get the subtitles. When you're already hearing "
я четыре года..." and reading "If a man can't do a quad..." it's hilarious to me.
You're funner than me if you found that funny..
:)
You have to be seriously stupid to think this is real, look at other Onion videos or articles. Remember, it's Putin's Russia that is famous for propagandist fake news and subtitles way more than western media, which is terrible too, but not to that degree.
:)
2016: Ukraine is not worth fighting for.
2023: We will all die for Ukraine!!
🇩🇪🇺🇦🇩🇪🇺🇦
We will all die = We will send a little bit of money and some old weapons. Maybe throw in a handful of modern equipment so we can get good press coverage.
@@SovietReunionYT I would much rather live in a Western world than a Russian world. No amount of Russian Propaganda will change that.
@@SovietReunionYTa bit of money = 200 billion dollars. Yeah, just a bit...
@@yusouph2002200 billion dollars worth of old ass stockpiles of shells*
Your comment ignores the fact that the west actually saves money by giving Ukraine weapons as they don’t need to waste money on storage or maintenance.
Perfect time!
Ahh the good old days
Why is Eritrea the only country left in Africa?
Some one needs to show Putin this. He must laughs his ass off.
This didn't age well.
There was another Ukraine war in 2014 and this video was made in 2015 so it wasn't supposed to age well.
It aged extremely well actually
Freaky how true some of this now is.....
Putin didn't liked a news channel and vegetablised its name, now its called the onion.
Love that! Onion brillant as usiall! )) Great "translation" of what he was saying... So funny ))
But is Putin skating on thin ice?
magottyk It won't become a problem until he starts doing those quads...
groan
Well, Putin plays ice hockey, sooo.......technically, he does.
...Not as thin as Trump's.
Plushenko should have won!
1:25. This hits differently now. Still the same stance though
Welcome back to this video after 6 years
We're going to need updates on a few of these.
This series is really good
1:16: Yeah that didn't age well
It aged perfectly lol
@@helloworld4990 Indeed, Ukraine is in his own once again lol
Deadass wrong about the world being okay with Russian aggression. They are definitely neutral.
@@helloworld4990How?
Wait what?!? This video was 6 years ago?!?!? 😬 how long has this thang been goin on????
Since 2014. The world just kinda pretended it wasn't happening for some odd reason even tho this video is proof that anyone who paid the slightest attention realized whats going to happen.
"Pretty much on their own" just wow, that is just wow. No other words describe how accurate the onion is.
1:18 oof. It just hurts
Just sent this to my Russian nationalist friend.
I might give an update depending on if he responds.
just reply to remind me
@@Fritz_Haarmann did he?
@@FlatEarthKiller Yes, but he answered in
Русский.
Also told me what Michael means in Russian.
@@Fritz_Haarmann can you translate everything he said to eng
@@FlatEarthKiller Nah, I only speak English, German and Latin.
Aged well