Putin Learns Putin Behind Plot To Assassinate Putin
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- Опубликовано: 31 авг 2012
- A man thanks God he's not sexually attracted to children, the nation's women aren't as crazy about Bryan Gosling, and the guy on the third floor with two computer screens on his desk is not fucking around. It's the week of August 13th, 2012.
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when you are suicidal but you don't want your whole country to know.
Best comment lmao
Question: Can suicides be classified under 1st degree murder with in intent to kill, a premeditated plan, the carrying out of the plan, the executing of the plan, with the only twist being that the perpetrator and the victim dwell in the same body?
Or do we need to find an accomplice: the instigator of the desire to kill, the one who 'egged' the perpetrator on to kill the victim, and put them in court for second degree murder, as the Godfather/Mob boss behind the murder plot, where the victim did the dirty work for them, and they could just teflon it, so that no accusations can stick, and use omertà on any electronic paper trail to destroy any incriminating evidence?
@@zhouwu Its actually illegal to attempt suicide in most if not all states in America
@@jacobmast6217 How does that work? Do they put you in jail if you fail?
@UC1ggpDPfhIpNStCuu_euuaA Oh, ok. I guess I can see why they do it that way. But it's still probably not quite as bad as jail.
This is like the GTA radio news
WEAZEL NEWS
WEAZEL NEWS
Gta 6 needs a news channel like this.
Gta 6 ONN collab when?
@@ChillyBenpa ..
@@ChillyBenpa too late now
The Putin assassination attempt being relevant today, 10 years later, is absolutely incredible
what happened??
@@LaptopLender1.5-fi3cw An assassination attempt was made on Putin a week or so ago
@@LaptopLender1.5-fi3cw Russia flew a drone with fireworks at the Kremlin at night, doing no damage
And then claimed it was a Ukrainian assassination
A common belief is Putin did it
@@LaptopLender1.5-fi3cw Kremlin got hit by 2 drones, russia says it was an assassination attempt on Putin, despite the fact that the whole situation looked staged and putin wasn't even in Moscow
@@LaptopLender1.5-fi3cw Drones exploded on the roof where he was
1:38 I almost died laughing.. "The guy on the third floor working with two computer screens on his desk is not fucking around"
It was like something out of f***ing Minority Report.
Not at all 🤬😠 💻 🖥
jesus...he's going balls to the walls over there
I feel attacked. Three computer screens is the standard in my office. The day shift's training tells them to only use two, but our shift's training involves all three.
@@ragnarrahl maybe that chimp can be trained to help train some of those people
Man that guy with two screens absolutely wasn't fucking around.
As a gamer 😎, I can relate
Nowadays you got to have 3 or more or you're just fucking around
@@TraceguyRune True, but 9 years ago two monitors was a power move.
This had me dying.
I use 2 at work. I resisted as long as I could, but it's damn convenient. Too bad I'm killing the planet. But at least I use power save mode. That shit was unheard of 9 years ago though, except for software developers.
Whoever wrote that Putin bit deserves an award
supastar only if putin says so
richard kent Which Putin?...former KGB director Putin or former Prime minister Putin? lol
supastar hahahaahahaha
supastar
the makoko and the co-worker part were really nice, too
Not only who wrote it, but also who read it, I started laughing almost immediately, I couldnt read it without bursting into laugh
Here after Putin just attempted to assassinate Putin with a drone, the Onion predicts reality yet again
wait huh? what happened?
@@LaptopLender1.5-fi3cw so basically the Kremlin in Moscow was targeted with explosive drones, which Russia claimed was an attempt on Putins life, who wasn’t in Moscow at the time, and pinned it on the Ukrainians, but that wouldn’t make sense because, thanks to the classified documents leak on a meme discord server, we know that the Ukrainians have been tracking Putin and know his location at all times, so the leading theory is Putin staged the attack, probably to justify an assassination attempt on Zelenskyy later.
@@LaptopLender1.5-fi3cw some random, dinky drone with explosives hit the Kremlin last week and messed the roof up a bit. Everyone's calling it an inside job except the Russian government. Even the government's biggest supporters are calling it some kind of weird false flag attack.
@@LaptopLender1.5-fi3cw A drone crashed on top of the Kremlin building, and Russia is blaming Ukraine. But it obviously couldn't have been done by Ukraine since the drone couldn't have flown all the way from there without the Russian army noticing.
@@LaptopLender1.5-fi3cw Also, Putin wasn't at the Kremlin that day. But Russian media is having fun with it anyway. Must have been those decandent westoids! No dissidents in Russia, no sir! Ukraine is weak and easily beaten, yet also powerful and a major threat to Russia!
The Onion is so sophisticated in its humor that a joke has actually become reality.
The Onion is to blame.
what jokes?
They are not real in the first place???
I only trust The Onion for news
How has it become reality, exactly?
@@johnmartinez7440 exactly man, the onion's comment section is embarrassing
There no jokes There Reports from the future
I like to think that the ONN is an actual news source from a parallel universe
this is one of the best comments ive seen on youtube to date (dont know if this was copied from another video but still)😭
The ONN isn’t an actual news source?....
Tha Metriacanthosaurus I think you’re the one who missed the joke
celery lol
celery it is a pretty funny joke
It's a Putin eat Putin world out there..
How do you have almost 500 like but no replies
But who's gonna protect Putin?
@@alformodoritos2076 *Why who better than former KGB Director, Vladimir Putin!*
This comment is underrated XD
@@gregorysantana72 because Putin ate all of them
I feel sorry for Putin... Imagine waking up and seeing your assassin in the mirror every morning. That's like staring death right in the face 💀
That's what hitler must've felt like
@@floyd4481ww2 spoiler?
there are no mirrors in the freezer
"You only live twice,
One when you are born,
And once when you look death,
In the face."
@slyguythreeonetwonine3172 That's gruesome but true, though!
Once again, The Onion accidentally stops being a satire website
Putin took it as a challenge
Sure, "accidentally"
"The nation's economists are quietly evacuating their families"
That doesn't even sound like Sarcasm now
Where to, Israel?
@@Vingul no, they’re fleeing to deep South America.
That’ll definitely go well.
@@Vingul no,switzerland
@@perlasandoval7883 Switzerland is known for housing many international banks; the Swiss are not known for being bankers in other countries.
You know i wouldn't be surprised if this actually happened at one point. When JFK was assassinated, the KGB didn't know if they were responsible and actually did an internal investigation to find out.
Lmao yup, they were giving us their condolences while whispering back to the KGB "DID WE FUCKING DO THIS?!?!?"
Well he was a known communist sympathiser who visited Russia so they must have been absolutely terrified they were running him
@@jacobclements3652 JFK? Holy moly guacamole
@@zkittlezthabanditt604 no dumbass. JFK was anti communist. He was talking about Harvey.
I don’t know if that is true, and I do not care because it’s fucking hilarious
Putin is an example of a person who everyone thinks can play 4D chess but it turns out he can't play regular chess and he just resorted to killing all his opponents.
Even the worst blunder is a valid move. We're all waiting for his brilliancy.
Opponent can't win if opponent is dead.
-Russian proverb
Proof that flipping the board off the table and spitting at the other player while they try to pick up the pieces is a viable move
So says the MSM that ginned up the WMDs, the Libya debacle, the miserable Afghanistan invasion and so much more. Even the Onion could not outdo that.Oh, when the US has an opponent, they just kill a million or so innocents in the name of democracy. I suppose that there is safety in stupidity if enough people chose to be stupid. You guys prove that.
he eats the chess pieces and claims they were lost in the 4-d version of the game
Not even counting Putin's segment, the article about the guy using 2 monitors also aged surprisingly well...
As someone using 3 monitors, I feel both vindicated and targeted.
Thank god Putin was able to save Putin from Putin.
+Dark0nix ... by signing an executive order that allows Putin to assassinate Putin.
RiazGT Hey sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures.
God thank's Putin every night
+navylaks2 Are you implying they make love every night? Will Putin give birth to the second coming of Christ? Will it be a virgin birth? So many questions raised by your affirmations.
*thank Putin
For those who are confused about this. This is the Onion they are know for their credibility
How can people think this is fake, the guy working with two computer screens really wasn't fucking around
@@beanman9644 I second this
@@beanman9644 He's going balls to the wall with Finder
This comment is kinda sus
The Babylon bee as well.
2022: Putin learns Putin behind plot to globally isolate Putin
hahahaha
Looks like it succeeded
Poor Putin, doesn't need to attend meetings with world leaders like Biden or Trudeau 😢
10 years later, this became a reality
Why 😂
Trust noboby, not even yourself
Insert meme where guy stands in front of monitor as a photoshopped himself points a gun to his own head
*-Stalin*
@@senorhace4746 Nice name and profile pic
ruclips.net/video/6xiH7Lsa1_4/видео.html
Keep your enemies close and yourself closer!
Putin: What should we do with him ?
Putin: Putin down
Lol
That was so bad it looped around to being good again then looped the whole way an entire extra time
Well we need that right now. Your comment was a year ahead of it's time.
@@callummclachlan4771 lmao yeah
I thought this skit couldn’t get any more accurate after the invasion of Ukraine, but since the Wagner coup it’s reached another level. Truly incredible.
the Onion cant keep getting away with these prophesies
The onion has really hit a gold mine. Even videos it made 9 years ago are 100% still relevant.
Do they even make new videos anymore? For me the Algorithm only recommends Onion videos that are several years old.
@@robertjenkins6132 all their new stuff seems to be stuff like podcasts.
can confirm. i have two screens and am NOT fucking around
@@theX24968Z yeah, they’ve scaled back. But hey, at least they’re still around in some capacity, unlike some once-big comedy channels.
Ever since we _entered_ the Onionverse, they now only broadcast to another reality. 😅...😵💫
Edit: this was meant to be a reply to Robert Jenkins, but I made a mistake and neglected to click on the comment before replying.
I'm rootin' for Putin to not be shootin' Putin.
Wouldn’t that mean Putin successfully assassinates Putin? Ergo Putin paradox
Zayeed Hakim no
Putin was in cahoots with Putin for shooting putin all along, I'm routing for putin.
Robert you absolute genius
Rootin’ Tootin’ Putin Shootin’.
The Onion in their prime.
You know their comedy was great if the content still stands up 9 years later!
Man I miss old Onion
it stands up 9 years later because it sometimes comes true 9 years later
@@radradishradiator Between like 7 and 14 years ago they were kings of parody. Then they hired "hip and trendy" new people or some shit who couldn't write or act. Shame.
@@legitbeans9078The time travelers have moved on for a little while.
The Onion may actually just be telling the future at this point
Ten years later, Putin is still around plotting
Code Geass type of stuff
Shut up
Anal vanovic 4 ever? What kind of anal is that?
@@lazardrobnjak I think it's "Ana Ivanovich" as in "anna ivanovich"
"No man can take on Putin..... Except Putin"
2:00 _Jesus he's just dragging things from one screen to the other like it's nothing._
He's going balls to the wall over there
Christ man, I don't think he blinked in like 3 minutes.
That's what I did first with dual monitors
And in Russia, high level sources within the Kreml report that Russias president Wladimir Putin has learned of an assassination plot against former prime minister Vladimir Putin, masterminded by former KGB director Wlademir Putin.
"....was like something out of fucking Minority Report or something."
Now that's a good Tom Cruise movie.
*Foreshadowing is a literary device in which a writer gives an advance hint of what is to come later in the story*
"A man thanks god he's not sexually attracted to children" killed me 😂😂😂😂
Looking back from 2022, too bad Putin didn't go through with it.
breaking news from 2034: Ukrainian man goes back in time to stop Putin from foiling Putin's plan to assassinate Putin
but now putin has learned of plans to overthrow putin as putin enters a possible war putin expected to be easier
Tell me about it!
RUclips recommending this right now is kind of ironic
@Marcelo Dias If anyone is brainwashed, it's the one who's supporting an unprovoked offensive war causing massive humanitarian crisis on both sides and slowly killing his own people
Shame Putin never got that Putin guy, would have solved a few issues happening right about now
Memento Mori
If only Putin had gotten the go ahead to have Putin assassinate Putin before Putin could assassinate Putin.
Right, What a shame that Putin didn’t kill Putin, now Putin is carrying the invasion so Putin can control all that belongs to Putin, fuck you Putin, what a useless person you are Putin.
god, why arent russian people voting for Putin instead of Putin?
@@Leg8 exactly, then this would be solved
Aged like a fine wine.
The Onion “it’s just better news”
-my 80 year old grandma
im confused why there are so many jokes about this news source its a genuine and reliable news source
They're all just haters
You haven't watched CNN have ya
@@daleksupreme2913 Yeah they’ve been contending with The Onion on which one is more reliable.
@@daleksupreme2913 Honestly I wouldn't trust CNN any more than the onion lol
They are just publishing the news a decade earlier
The onion was truly ahead of its time
It's predicting the future. I thought it's meant to be parody/satire?!
@@haitamchouiekh5229 True!
@@haitamchouiekh5229 not really...
Still is. Dude it's still around
@@haitamchouiekh5229 by twitter
Lmao, this one aged like fine wine given that drone “assassin attempt” 😂 🍷
2:10 Life always imitates The Onion.
"Week in and week out you come back like a house broken Pomeranian, loyal to the bitter end. Good boy." This absolutely killed me. I'm now in need of medical assistance.
cattysplat Re your "I'm in need of medical assistance"
I can help out with "a drap o' Glenfiddich"!
Are you in need of medical assistance because that comment killed you? I'm personally surprised that medical assistance has advanced to the stage where it can medically assist even people who have been killed by comments.
Go medical science, go!
You will love The Topical podcast then, if you haven't already heard it!! It's The Onion's new podcast that just came out this year :) It's brilliant, and nucking futs like this. ❤
Followed by "the truth is, we couldn't care less".. that part got me..lol
Would you say death has changed you?
I cannot express how sophisticated the Onion’s comedy is. Like I couldn’t think of this stuff if I tried, but yet it’s presented in such a formal and official manner. 10/10. Bravo.
And it all touches on topics that are universally relatable. Even the Putin assassinating Putin bit was relatable because we all knew Putin is an assassinator.
Macoco
this was 9 years ago
and a decade old😭
That's actually a often cited problem with the onion. Way too many retards think this is real, lol.
fun time for this to resurface...
I was thinking the same thing
Main article is now suddenly _very_ relevant.
Came in to watch the Putin thing after the Ukraine invasion. Was not disappointed by The Onion.
da
If only former prime minister Putin had just put Prime minister Putin down.
@@Silver4Hire I think we're gonna have to call in Putin to end Putin once and for all. Though knowing Putin, he'll probably outsource the dirty work to Putin.
Dude can you imagine a glitch and comments like these traveling back in time?
Got recommended this and it’s funny af
This has aged perfectly
As do all of the onions articles
Except the two monitor one
I thought this was made a few days ago SZFGSFDGFD
"The subject of this satirical video is back in the news lately - THIS VIDEO AGED PERFECTLY!!!! IT'S AGED LIKE FINE WINE!!!! HAHAHAHAH!!!!!!"
more like the world aged like milk
DUDE THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT HAPPENED WITH PUTINED WTF
2022: putin's plot to take out putin by having putin start a war that putin will eventually lose was a masterstroke
Putin when seeing his reflection in the mirror :
"you're empty"
"so are you"
Sounds like Vlad needs a hug.
@@Ismael-kc3ry I think that's how you come down with acute thalium poisoning
"What is he doing?"
"He's beginning to beleive."
Aged very well this one did.
@@salmonroe5608 yeah, I noticed...
I've learned so much from the Onion Weekly Review.
No you haven't.
Your picture, your name, this comment, its fucking perfect you stoned fuck
@@mattzx003 that is what you call sarcasm
Interesting 666 likes.
And it's time to teach others...
Aged like wine. Nothing further.
Man this aged like a fine wine.
I love that the description of the plot not only says that Putin was behind the plot to assassinate Putin, but that he would have Putin do it personally.
Boy, has this aged like wine and milk
Hahaha
RUclips reccomendations have such a sense of humor.
This video's gonna go trending again...
I think I know why this is suddenly in my recommendeds this week
I like to imagine that Putin watched this video but, that something got lost in translation and after seeing this he turned to his head of security saying "find out who this Putin guy is." 😂
Yes, but Putin can speak fluent English.
@@matthewgasparin7000 and Putin is Putin.
@@matthewgasparin7000 and German, French, and Mandarin.
Plot twist: The head of security was another Putin, in the mirror.
@@AcolyteOfLucifer and Spanish, and Gaelic, and Scots, and Danish, and Swedish, and Norwegian, and Icelandic, and Finnish, and Indian, and Arabic, and Latin.
Looks like the Onion predicted the future again
This attack is not by Ukraine. Assassinating Putin would trigger a nuclear attack, and Ukraine isn't dumb.
The fact that this got recommended right now-
"In other news, the nation's economists are quietly evacuating their families"
The deadpan delivery just gets me. Out of every headline this is the most concerning, and yet it gets glossed over and considered "other news".
That one gay dude looked pretty happy being straight while still gay.
You mean he was pretty gay for being straight? 😂
@@GXM1210 😆 😆 😆
His wife wasn't so sure
@@jellyfishi_ decline of masculinity and that other paragraph sound like an ignorant homophobe to me.
@@jellyfishi_ I don't think there's been a decline in masculinity. I'm a woman and I'm very masculine.
Holy hell the algorithm is on point
2:10 Well this aged well
I've always wanted to visit Russia, but I keep Putin it off.
I always wanted to Putin, but I keep Russian in and get rejected.
i laugh
In America, Russia visits you.
Just go, quit stalin
Not to forget occasionally Putin on the Ritz...
I guess the algorithm has a sense of humor
aggression feeds the beast and war is the ultimate train wreck. the world is in for a depressing spring summer- into next pandemic into end times.
Aaaaand this is now reality ....
March 4, 2022, this popped into my recommended for no apparent reason that I can think of...
Hmmm I wonder why 🤔
I love The Onion. Today, February 14, 2022 a financial RUclipsr referenced the title of this video as an example of the media always fishing for drama. I love that you can still troll idiots 10 years later. That just means these pieces were all too accurate, lol.
Please link the video
Link?
I mean. Putin is starting to lose his mind, so I guess it's understandable.
liiiink
Please link. I want to go laugh at them.
oh crap that happened today
I suddenly remembered this video after seeing the news 😂
Litterly just thought of this
Yep, once again Onion predicted "real" news.
2:11 the drone strike this week 😂
Not even putin can kill putin...
Putin...
Putin
Putin
Putin
Putin
Putin
Oh so _now_ RUclips wants to recommend this video to me
Man that onion news satellite really do be bringing us news from the future
Breaking news: Today, Putin tried to murder Putin with a drone! Putin survived!
Wow RUclips, what a recomendation.
Thanks youtube for recommending me parody news in a global fucking crisis
This aged like fine wine
Wow. Onion predicted that Putin funded PMC Wagner enter into vendetta with him! 11 years ago :)
It's like the fucking Minority Report or something!
Having had a multi-monitor setup that included my TV around a non-tech savvy family, I felt that one in my soul. From ages 5 to 65, it blows their minds that I could pull something up on my computer and just drag the window or game from one side of the room to a screen on the other side; we're in the future man...
Historians will remember this day as the last time Comrade Putin was sane and tried to stop himself before his downfall into evil.
"There is no such thing as a former KGB agent"
-the guy that literally warned us
I thought this comment was years ago and got a little scared.
Always has been
The Onion's gone and pulled a Prophecy! How nice!
This aged well.
This is more sane and bearable than news media going on today.
Damn shame he didn't succeed on that plan...
Situation in Russia seems very complex today - because of all the factors involved.
literally just happened a week ago lmao
what did?
@@LaptopLender1.5-fi3cw Russian President Vladimir Putin Learns that former KGB director Putin is Behind Plot To Assassinate former Prime Minister Putin.
This is a perfect time for recommendation
This is getting recommended at the best possible time
This article suddenly became relevant again… 😂
Impeccable timing for this recommendation after the "plane crash"
Gotta love this being reccomended right before WWIII breaks out
Ukraine Propaganda.
@@LeoKBass yeah ukraine made this propaganda nine years ago all for this moment. some 4d chess type shit.
Chillax. The west is sadly way too chicken to push putin hard enough. And russia can't win. Nobody ever won a guerilla war. This is going to be the next Afghanistan for russia.
Yeah it must be a freak coincidence. Certainly can't be because people are more likely to click on Putin-related things at the moment.
@luna koala agree
I really hate how relevant this is again in 2022
*Putin finds out Russia behind plot to invade Russia with Russians to stop Russians from stopping Russians from invading -Ukraine- New Russia.
Russia was relying on russians to help Russia invade Russia, but russians didn't show enthusiam, assisting neither Russia nor Russia
"Your spymaster can no longer fabricate a secret about himself."
-CK3 Patch Note
The algorithm’s confused but it’s got the spirit.
YT recommendation spot on right here
what a weird time for this to be recommended
There may be a reason this video keeps appearing in my feed after all these years
"The nation's economists are quietly evacuating their families." Hats off to this one.