I think the first technique might be impractical so I have a revamped version. Say the baseball bat doesnt snap in half but rather your forearm does, the next thing you would want to do in your best interest it to is rip out your forearm with your other arm and stab your attacker with your broken bone.
That's not necessarily the case, as if your main story arch is just starting you might not be able to break the bat to put you in the lowest point after you get beat up so you could start your training
or if you had an armoured forearm, but nothing more, ...not it even a broom's stick would brake in the air Holden by some one else on one hand, well i guess this is really a joke, this is hilarious
@Colin Pollard na best thing today is duck strike unless there risk and forarm can instant do switch n strike 60 lbs of Force. I can do that with 800 lbs force
I usually defend a baseball bat strike by stepping into the power arc, and blocking it with my face, bit the bat in half, and continuing the momentum, spit the half bat back at the assailant in a back spin motion
There are many people in gangs nowadays who expect you to spit the bat back at them, so they will likely just catch it with their half and they have a whole bat again. To prevent it, you can mix it up by secretly spitting the bat on your foot and then flipping it into your opponent when they least expect it
Yeah you're right. The last few gang fights i was in they ended up with a whole bat again and had to keep doing the same face block spit thing over and over again until everyone got bored. It was really tedious. I'll do the secret foot-flip thing next time. They'll really dig it i think.
You misunderstand that first technique. I wrote the book so that other people would try that, thus ensuring that I could beat them up more efficiently.
When I am attacked by a bat I focus my chi into my temple making my head harder than steel. After the attacker stings their own hands by striking me, I jump back yell 'hadouken' then throw a ball of ice at them and freeze them in place. Then I runaway before they melt.
Zoran Chekalov is this a morron or is this a mega morron, drop knife on the foot step on it and the knife fly,s in the attac ers belly hahah what a joke is this bruce tree?
you know whats stronger than wood? my will to succeed in any fight or confrontation, when i explain this to my enemy they usually laugh and say they dont hit retards. another win for the bradmeister.
The ninja technique with the knife doesn't work for you because you are not a ninja. Obviously, you never completed your training. I trained under great masters like Ashida Kim and Frank Dux, where I mastered the art of the Dim Mak. I can kill a man with my chi over the internet.
Rob Adams does your chi energy travel over wires or is it instantaneous. What if the guy uses a VPN? Your chi might end up in the wrong country and an innocent bystander could get hurt. You said you can use your chi over the internet. If you want to be funny, try something that makes sense.
No you can't reach me Rob. I have an anti-ninja firewall on my PC. I , however, can beam my digital chi back to you :P And boy you sure picked the right masters ... :)
When I'm up against bad guys with machine guns I always use my forearms to block the bullets. That way I protect my head from injuries. Pro tip from me to you guys.
I am aware that your comment is over two years old but I feel compelled to let you know that your comment was so funny I actually spilled my hot dinner into my lap and burned my penis though my shorts and underwear; I should be displeased about burning myself but I am still laughing at your comment.
It's even more ridiculous than people thinking Tae Kwon Do is a good martial art. I remember being 7-years-old and they taught me to bring my hand back to my ear before blocking the punch. I was thinking "OK won't I be getting punched in my face about now?".
Joseph be stallin' On second thought I think the first tehnique isn´t THATbad..if you ´ve like spent forever doing hard core (Okinawan style) training, strengthening every part of your body; though it might be considered exessively masochistic or having a slight "psycho" attitude to it (which might deter the assailant from further attacking you), so I´d say it CAN work /(is good or bad) depending on WHO you are and HOW you want to portray yourself (assuming you are in full control of these parameters and not completely crazy:, For instance, disarming the attacker , then breaking the bat on your own head, would qualify as crazy in my book, but again -depending on who you are..;-)
Pétur Arnar Kristinsson i think that breaking an aluminium bat is a bit difficult, but this method can actually work and it is pretty clever: -opponent wants to knock you out -ends up breaking both of your arms -you sue him -finally you can pay for proper martial arts training
+JD Gamboa okinawan goyu-ryu is wery hard actualy and using makiwara your hand...body... became hardcore armor. each karateka (does not matter which style) that holds up to the physical self, hitting the Makiwara and reinforces and establishes his body with thousands of blows to the hard (makiwara). but this video is joke think
Another technique he should have mentioned is, if your attacker has a gun, you first want to uppercut the bullet mid flight, this will cause the bullet to arc and fall upon the attackers head, thus saving your life and ending his. If it some how misses you will then want to follow up with a spin elbow to the attackers gun hand, this will cause him to also spin, you can then follow up with the well known phoenix kick to the back of his head.
+Kevin CinnamonToast It works great if you do it right. (If the axe cuts through your arm, you blocked too high.) Snap that haft, then hit them with the axehead for super power effect.
the advanced technique is blocking the attack by opening your mouth and catching the blow with your teeth; at which point the bat is safely embedded between your teeth, you then start twirling 720 degrees around your axis with the bat still in your mouth, once you've gained enough momentum you release the bat and send it flying into the face of the attacker. the tricky part of this technique is that if the attacker himself is also a student of the school of "martial arts techniques for the ignorant", you will find yourself in an endless game of catch-the-bat.
The second move literally saved my life. To make a long story short I dropped my knife and the blade went right through my polyester tabi into my metatarsal. The sentry pissed himself laughing and I limped quickly away into the night.
I remember seeing the block against a baseball bat from a book on basic self-defence by Steve Arniel Snr, in his introductory guide to kyokushinkai. I have that book knocking around somewhere in my that's sick when I quit training in kyokushin, in order to study for my GCSEs ... And also, I realised that offering to buy the first round of beers generally screws most attackers over because free beer ... Then I have a good ½hr to get chummy with them so they don't wanna kick my head in, so yeah - the hell with dumb self-defence bollocks, just remember to ask where the nearest 'spoons is and offer to buy the 1st round
I usually like to assume the fetal position and cry and shit my pants, they never expect that so they smell my voided bowels and the smell runs them off.
Mael Radec Ya, but not all of us are at the 3rd-degree-black-belt level yet... I'm only a white belt; AT BEST - I'm mildly offending somebody's olfactory senses.
Chauncer It was probably someone similar to Fry who once said, "The best way to get a stronger opponent to release you from a face-to-face bear-hug, is to get a hard on."
When someone attacks me with a baseball bat I use bullet time to dodge the attack and then I stretch their balls to the floor and step on them. As he's stunned. This next part is very important so listen closely I yell Kamehameha as loud as I can as I teleport behind him. KO!!!!
A Kamei-a mei-a wave with out super sayan? Psh, give me like, 3 weeks, or 3 30min episodes or however you wana call the 10 seconds of fictional time it took to make a spirit bomb to show you who's boss.
Yea, I said that 1 year after you posted the comment, I was building up the power to unleash it, had to wait for the next series to come out tho before I reviled it
I have just two words: Silent Rage. Early 80s chuck Norris movie. In one scene he takes out an entire bar full of rowdy bikers and one of the first moves he does is the first move demonstrated here (particularly the part about snapping the bat in half, spinning and then striking) it was a pool cue, not a bat. I have to admit, it looked cool when chuck did it. Interestingly enough, shortly after the movie came out i watched a camp counselor knock out a kid's front tooth attempting to replicate this exact move.
Chuck Norris was a showman in Hollywood. As a martial artist I have to respect him, he's a black belt in BJJ under Rigan Machado. But I agree, 99% of Chuck Norris stunt highlights make me chuckle
Nick Paul What? AFAIK he learned Karate and Tang Soo Do and Tea Kwon Do and later was a treinee of Bruce Lee (Jeet Kune Do). From where did you got the information that he learned Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu?
All I could picture when he was demonstrating the second technique was Solid Snake being discovered with the infamous exclamation sound, and doing this exact technique.
Hey coach First I need to thank you! Your videos helped me so much in my game I own you a lot! Iv been doing bjj religiously for around a year, 5 times a week. I bought mats and rolls with friends every time I can I had to go back to my hometown for job, a village in the deep country. There’s absolutely no bjj for hundred miles around. I joined a judo club a few months ago to keep active and improve my throws. After a while some asked me to roll to see bjj, they all loved it. I went through the whole school even black belts with no much difficulty they barely knew anything I showed them basics as we rolled. Now we roll after every class some people even asked me for privates. I really enjoy sharing my passion with them. Yesterday the club owner asked me instead of paying fees to teach a few times a week. I’m a bit scared it’s such a responsibility could you give me advices please Thanks again for your videos you do a lot for the jiu jitsu community. Oss
There's a pressure point in the left shoulder called "Baseball 7" and another in the right bicep called "Pitcher 9", you could easily focus your chi and shout a kiai at them, causing the attacker's arms to go numb and eventually fall off, but only if in mid-swing. If he's not in mid-swing with a wooden bat, it won't work (since aluminum is unnatural and blocks chi flow where the natural wood acts like a chi conductor(like electrical conductor, not train)). It also won't work if he is biting his tongue, or if he doesn't believe in chi, or if he's a person on Earth.
Fun Fact: a buddy of mine actually used the first technique once in south america without ever learning it in a dojo! Although the bat was driftwood, it broke over his arm, he grabbed it and spun into the guy's head, at which point his local friend burst out of his hut with a machete ACTUALLY ending the confrontation as being hit with driftwood doesn't phase grownups....
@ELIZABETH: love some of the Master Ken vids especially "the karate hottie". yes hilarious. Some r kinda dumb though. can u tell me some other good ones from enterthedojoshow?
Nope your wrong. The howling in pain is optional. This mkve is best done when you're drunk and high on some bath salts. That way not only do you not feel the pain...but you'll also try to eat the bat too.
Its actually refreshing that more and more people today call BS on martial arts, specifically the ones that are classroom friendly only. I like this guys humor on this :-) However I remember a time, and still have spoke to some people who would believe this shit, so we think this videos funny, however this mans teaching those kids who watched too much bruce lee.
jason hounsell I mean Bruce Lee was to some extent legit. I'd rather say too much Jackie Chan. Cool guy with a lot of dedication, but the 'martial arts' in his movie are bs.
In any scenario I use the same technique which is fool proof. Being a 4th degree Basscleff of Tabjutsu I engage my diaphragm and release a note that harmonizes with the elemental properties of my attackers weapon, causing it to shatter into a dust like substance in his or her hands. Note: if you scream a perfect Baritone 2nd E# you can cause your opponents spine segments to disconnect with each other however this is a forbidden technique in Tabjutsu as it can has the same effect on the user.
+bulletvivace My mistake I assumed a proper Killface was a given. After all, having a good kill face is like walking around with a loaded gun in your pocket. Except..., it's not in your pocket, it's in your face. That's what happens when you assume, you make an ass out of you and Ume, whoever Ume is.
Baseball Bat Defense: 1. You're going to break your forearm 2. You're going to break your other forearm 3. Your attacker will laugh at you as he beats you to death Rifle Defense: 1. Yes, throw away a perfectly good weapon and rely on a half-assed trickshot to save your life because that's the key to survival. I had no idea there were people actually teaching stuff this stupid lol. Thanks for bringing it to my attention and highlighting just how stupid these "techniques" are. You gained yourself a new subscriber, my friend!
bad becuz you're going to break the baseball bat in half but u dont have the other piece in your hand to swing with. now if you were to catch the baseball bat with your mouth, nose hole, or your eyelids, then good technique.
I have a shit ton of years fighting on the streets and training MMA I'm 6'2" and weigh a pretty solid 230lbs and I was attacked with a baseball bat once you want to know what happened??? I got a cracked skull, broken jaw lost 3 teeth and a broken wrist with nerve damage in my wrist... You know what you call my story its called reality guys, I'm sorry but if a dude has a bat he also has what's called a really good god damn upper hand. And I know for a fact I could whoop 99% of the ninjas in the comments here and if I got my ass beat by a dude with a bat most of you out there also have no chance in hell, even with all your ninja classes.
Mike Clark Yeah the guys that got me were from a local inland empire gang from my neighborhood there was 4 of them they attacked me because I use to live in a neighborhood that's pretty much all Mexican and I'm one of the very few gringos that used lived there so my white skin and attitude made me a target but it wasn't the first time my skin color and attitude got me in trouble LOL!!!
Defensive technique? This happened on the street not in a dojo, I was talking to someone I thought was a friend at the time and then with no warning I was blindsided by a baseball bat to the side of my face, no time for "defensive technique" the only thing I had time for was repentance if you know what I mean.
1TonTaco Hey, I was just kidding around. I'm sorry that you were injured unjustly. As I've been learning over the last, oh, decade - sometimes life just sucks ass. Perhaps that's most of the time.
Ok. So I stabbed my foot. Then I roll the knife into my other foot. I throw my toes to the armed man's mouth. The pieces of my foot chokes him, and he died. That's KILL LIKE A NINJA
The first technique is terrific if you are the Terminator. The second technique is marvelous if you are Magneto. Both of them are simple if you are Chuck Norris.
pretty sure I would have a broken wrist after the first attack and I would brake my other wrist trying to snap the baseball bat rendering me unable to wipe my own arse.
This guy is completely stupid.block a baseball bat is the worse thing to do.i have a friend and his get his arm break it in the first attack and his have to run to save his life.
I know one technique where you let the RPG round pass through your left ear and while it is in your ear canal, you point the right ear towards the enemy successfully defending yourself from te RPG round and deflecting it back to your enemies. Works great and it clean your ear too, gives it that nice glaze from all the burnt ear hair from the RPG tail burn. I learned that technique when I was an ex-navy seal, delta force, ninja, gi joe, marine force recon, astronaut in nam. Now I am just a retired walrus living in spain doing mercenary work in exchange for water buffalo meat.
No, no, no, NO! You want to grab the rocket; mid-air, and than throw it back at your opponent. Believe me! Works everytime! Most important thing is to say focused and bend your knees while catching the rocket. Good luck! Let us know how it worked out!
You take a full swing from a baseball bat to the forearm, straight like shown in this video, you get a broken forearm. Don't try this in a real fight guys, unless you're really trying to wind up dead.
on the other hand if your arm DOESN'T snap, i am pretty sure you got nothing to worry about from the attack, since he most have extreme muscel weakness or something xD
nice baseball grab :D wonder what would happen if the attacker had a gun. like "don't step aside, don't try to get the gun before the shot. just catch the bullet with your teeth and spit it back to kill your enemy" :_D
LMAO! "I recommend starting out with a small bat before moving up to alluminum" It wasn't the comment so much but, the deadpan air of seriousness he was trying to contain while delivering that line, friggin classic, lost it right there, hilarious
I demobilize his fists with repeated face-thrusts, for then to break his knees with my groin, and finish with a solid head-butt against the tip of his boots, to really fracture his toes
I have been in martial arts 30 yrs also and those 2 techniques are unheard of to me. That's rediculous man. Even if i were full of chi I would'nt do it. I would end up being full of you know what.
Don't make fun of those that can actually pull this of. I'm off asking my friends to bring their baseball bats so i can start training. Oh boy, i really wish to see some people try this out - we should try spreading it, might get some laughs out of the videos. There will surely be plenty enough people that try this and upload - i mean people actually did the fire-challenge.
If you want to see bad training check out a set of videos by a channel named Bob Caruana. It looks like a group of kids who are training to lose the first fight they get into.
Wrap your ribs this will protect them from splitting open with laughter. Use caution his powers are too much for the average person to follow. He claims to have taught for over 30 years and his most advanced students look so uncoordinated it borders on the pathetic The real shame is the kids who lay for it.
Sorry the name is bobcaruana1956 it's filled with "black belts" who can't lift their legs any higher than the kids the work with. Prepare for comedy enjoyment !
I think the first technique might be impractical so I have a revamped version. Say the baseball bat doesnt snap in half but rather your forearm does, the next thing you would want to do in your best interest it to is rip out your forearm with your other arm and stab your attacker with your broken bone.
now that my friend is martial arts
+0955interactive Hahaha. I thought he was going to try to block it with his head.
+0955interactive Don't forget to use the blood spraying from your self severed arm to blind your attacker before making your coup de grace.
+0955interactive I literally peed my pants. Damn you. XD
I'm fucking crying! 😂
nah, obvs the reason why you block the bat is so you can purposely break your arm and use the broken bone as a weapon
XD
Nathan B lol
lmao.....How about I pull my 45 and double tap to his chest...
arm nunchucku XD
I will take your chucks and own yo mama/..
First technique only works if you're the main protagonist.
So try it to see if you're a side character or the main.
yes this is true. In fact, EITHER technique will work equally as well if you are in fact the main character of the story.
Tried it, and I think I'm the villain
That's not necessarily the case, as if your main story arch is just starting you might not be able to break the bat to put you in the lowest point after you get beat up so you could start your training
And NEVER wear a red shirt!
The first technique would work...if you were Superman.
The Second technique would work...if you were Batman.
jackfavvv Batman doesn't kill people!
or if you had an armoured forearm, but nothing more, ...not it even a broom's stick would brake in the air Holden by some one else on one hand, well i guess this is really a joke, this is hilarious
jackfavvv EXACTLY my thoughts hahahahaha Superman!
@Colin Pollard na best thing today is duck strike unless there risk and forarm can instant do switch n strike 60 lbs of Force. I can do that with 800 lbs force
Both will work if you are Chuck Norris
I usually defend a baseball bat strike by stepping into the power arc, and blocking it with my face, bit the bat in half, and continuing the momentum, spit the half bat back at the assailant in a back spin motion
There are many people in gangs nowadays who expect you to spit the bat back at them, so they will likely just catch it with their half and they have a whole bat again.
To prevent it, you can mix it up by secretly spitting the bat on your foot and then flipping it into your opponent when they least expect it
Yeah you're right. The last few gang fights i was in they ended up with a whole bat again and had to keep doing the same face block spit thing over and over again until everyone got bored. It was really tedious. I'll do the secret foot-flip thing next time. They'll really dig it i think.
personally i prefer to block the bat with my crotch.
Try it blindfolded for extra Qi power!
thx for tipps! 🙋
You misunderstand that first technique.
I wrote the book so that other people would try that, thus ensuring that I could beat them up more efficiently.
Chris L you just gave it away
LOOOOL!!!
Yes, but they may kick of their snapped arms, sending deadly projectiles towards you
LOL
When I am attacked by a bat I focus my chi into my temple making my head harder than steel. After the attacker stings their own hands by striking me, I jump back yell 'hadouken' then throw a ball of ice at them and freeze them in place. Then I runaway before they melt.
Dude, i laughed for 10 minutes... fucking amazing .. thanks
When I'm attacked by a ninja, I call up a submarine to torpedo my foe.
When attacked with a baseball bat, I counter with a chain saw.
Zoran Chekalov is this a morron or is this a mega morron, drop knife on the foot step on it and the knife fly,s in the attac
ers belly hahah what a joke is this bruce tree?
hoi woi hahha yeah man, even Hollywood wouldnt put that shit in a movie
I just fart, then they run away.
"I'm walking down the street and I see a guy in a gi, so I know there's trouble."
Me:
you know whats stronger than wood? my will to succeed in any fight or confrontation, when i explain this to my enemy they usually laugh and say they dont hit retards. another win for the bradmeister.
Nothing's stronger than my wood, oh wait, wrong thread...
Ok Bradmeister that had me cracking up. I feel bad for laughing at retards now. Thanks.
cool cool but is that a rabbit with a pancake on his head
lmao, I haven't laughed this hard at a comment in years. Thanks
The ninja technique with the knife doesn't work for you because you are not a ninja. Obviously, you never completed your training. I trained under great masters like Ashida Kim and Frank Dux, where I mastered the art of the Dim Mak. I can kill a man with my chi over the internet.
Rob Adams does your chi energy travel over wires or is it instantaneous. What if the guy uses a VPN? Your chi might end up in the wrong country and an innocent bystander could get hurt. You said you can use your chi over the internet. If you want to be funny, try something that makes sense.
Perry Pelican Perry Pelican
Your comment, aka sarcasm was great until your last sentence - “if you want to be funny...” - you have ruined it!
No you can't reach me Rob. I have an anti-ninja firewall on my PC. I , however, can beam my digital chi back to you :P And boy you sure picked the right masters ... :)
Is it stronger than my keyboard force choke?
@@perrypelican9476 ITS A RADIO WAVE BUZZZZZZZ
When I'm up against bad guys with machine guns I always use my forearms to block the bullets. That way I protect my head from injuries. Pro tip from me to you guys.
matt hansen Thanks, man. You just saved my life.
+Luke Covey wait.....but u wouldnt have arms to text that message.....
+Felix Gutierrez I used my feet to block my forearms.
Ahhhhhh
+matt hansen Works for Wonder Woman.
It's been a while since I laughed so hard... ;D
Me too, me too...😁😂🤣🤣
ditto
I mean you could gross your attackers out with your weirdly floppy forearms and impaled foot. It's, uh...tactical?
I am aware that your comment is over two years old but I feel compelled to let you know that your comment was so funny I actually spilled my hot dinner into my lap and burned my penis though my shorts and underwear; I should be displeased about burning myself but I am still laughing at your comment.
I find it genuinely frightening that so many of you can not see this all utter sarcasm. Seriously you people are scary.
true terror.
It's even more ridiculous than people thinking Tae Kwon Do is a good martial art. I remember being 7-years-old and they taught me to bring my hand back to my ear before blocking the punch. I was thinking "OK won't I be getting punched in my face about now?".
first technique is basically - "i don't want him to hit me in the head, instead i'll break both of my arms"
Joseph be stallin' On second thought I think the first tehnique isn´t THATbad..if you ´ve like spent forever doing hard core (Okinawan style) training, strengthening every part of your body; though it might be considered exessively masochistic or having a slight "psycho" attitude to it (which might deter the assailant from further attacking you), so I´d say it CAN work /(is good or bad) depending on WHO you are and HOW you want to portray yourself (assuming you are in full control of these parameters and not completely crazy:, For instance, disarming the attacker , then breaking the bat on your own head, would qualify as crazy in my book, but again -depending on who you are..;-)
Pétur Arnar Kristinsson
i think that breaking an aluminium bat is a bit difficult, but this method can actually work and it is pretty clever:
-opponent wants to knock you out
-ends up breaking both of your arms
-you sue him
-finally you can pay for proper martial arts training
Joseph be stallin' you should write a guidebook. You'll make millions.
no, not that seriously, actually ;-)
+JD Gamboa okinawan goyu-ryu is wery hard actualy and using makiwara your hand...body... became hardcore armor. each karateka (does not matter which style) that holds up to the physical self, hitting the Makiwara and reinforces and establishes his body with thousands of blows to the hard (makiwara). but this video is joke think
I feel like this video was purposely created to make us laugh lol....
Rene Dominguez “Aluminum bat” and “ninja knife” and you really think he’s making a serious video?
It would fucking want to be 😂😂😂😂
Instructions unclear the sentry is now pregnant. what do i do?
do the same shit and u get a premature baby.
Ummm... get an abortion?
Yeah, but then you'll cop Planned Parenthood. Haha, what now smarty? :D
Tell them you're going to the store and just don't come back.
Lopez Alehandro
Run, run away as fast as you can.
Another technique he should have mentioned is, if your attacker has a gun, you first want to uppercut the bullet mid flight, this will cause the bullet to arc and fall upon the attackers head, thus saving your life and ending his. If it some how misses you will then want to follow up with a spin elbow to the attackers gun hand, this will cause him to also spin, you can then follow up with the well known phoenix kick to the back of his head.
I practiced with an axe. Boy your baseballbat defense is not as effective as I had hoped.
+Kevin CinnamonToast Did you type this with your nose then?
+Patrick2345454 Only if you are implying that he actually praticed twice
+Kevin CinnamonToast It works great if you do it right. (If the axe cuts through your arm, you blocked too high.) Snap that haft, then hit them with the axehead for super power effect.
+Patrick2345454 No the other hand.
+Patrick2345454 Naaaa he typed this with his dick! coz hes harcore like that lool ;-)
I once saw a man blocking a 2×2 hardwood with his arm, and he ended up in a hospital breaking his arm in two
the advanced technique is blocking the attack by opening your mouth and catching the blow with your teeth; at which point the bat is safely embedded between your teeth, you then start twirling 720 degrees around your axis with the bat still in your mouth, once you've gained enough momentum you release the bat and send it flying into the face of the attacker. the tricky part of this technique is that if the attacker himself is also a student of the school of "martial arts techniques for the ignorant", you will find yourself in an endless game of catch-the-bat.
Sincerely laughed out loud at this. Thanks for the laugh!
Dead😃
Has everyone skipped the part where he says "i'm showing you two of the ---> WORST
Nah, he said "Two of the VERY VERY worst martial art techniques".
I think a lot of people did. He's not praising these techniques, he's denouncing them. It's still funny though.
The second move literally saved my life. To make a long story short I dropped my knife and the blade went right through my polyester tabi into my metatarsal. The sentry pissed himself laughing and I limped quickly away into the night.
I remember seeing the block against a baseball bat from a book on basic self-defence by Steve Arniel Snr, in his introductory guide to kyokushinkai. I have that book knocking around somewhere in my that's sick when I quit training in kyokushin, in order to study for my GCSEs ... And also, I realised that offering to buy the first round of beers generally screws most attackers over because free beer ... Then I have a good ½hr to get chummy with them so they don't wanna kick my head in, so yeah - the hell with dumb self-defence bollocks, just remember to ask where the nearest 'spoons is and offer to buy the 1st round
I practice pussedo. My defense is to get on my phone with my lawyer before he hits me with the bat. Haha
Casey C omg rofl
I spit soda out of my nose when he said "work your way up to aluminum". Damn you Stephan!!!
i'm bleeding, making me the victor
lol!!!! I haven't seen that in ages!
+Dominic Lobban wee-ooh!
I must apologise for +Dominic Lobban . He is an idiot. We have purposely trained him wrong, as a joke.
+Dominic Lobban
+Dominic Lobban nuts to fist style! how you like it?!
So broking my two hands is the best way to defend against a baseball bat attacker.
Weeabos fighting in a nutshell.
Just add the naruto running to the mix
Kanína_Zając turns out naruto running is legit, people really do run faster that way
wolf_man jack Wrong
so spending 5 minutes doing chants and hand symbols scares off the enemies?
start on small bats
move up to aluminum
RIP arms. You will be missed.
In next weeks episode, how to fight with 2 broken arms.
come on you gotta practice with aluminum bats
you mean Like a whiffle bat?
I usually like to assume the fetal position and cry and shit my pants, they never expect that so they smell my voided bowels and the smell runs them off.
It doesn't run them off. If I voided my bowels, they'd drop dead from the stench.
Mael Radec Ya, but not all of us are at the 3rd-degree-black-belt level yet... I'm only a white belt; AT BEST - I'm mildly offending somebody's olfactory senses.
I believe that's an age old pant-shitsu technique.
I remember Stephen Fry telling about when a bully was about to grab him he'd yell "Stop it, I'll get an erection!"
Chauncer It was probably someone similar to Fry who once said, "The best way to get a stronger opponent to release you from a face-to-face bear-hug, is to get a hard on."
When someone attacks me with a baseball bat I use bullet time to dodge the attack and then I stretch their balls to the floor and step on them. As he's stunned. This next part is very important so listen closely I yell Kamehameha as loud as I can as I teleport behind him. KO!!!!
Does this work on female attackers too?
Man that sounds very unrealistic u need a gekidama for that bet!
A Kamei-a mei-a wave with out super sayan? Psh, give me like, 3 weeks, or 3 30min episodes or however you wana call the 10 seconds of fictional time it took to make a spirit bomb to show you who's boss.
Yea, I said that 1 year after you posted the comment, I was building up the power to unleash it, had to wait for the next series to come out tho before I reviled it
I have just two words: Silent Rage. Early 80s chuck Norris movie. In one scene he takes out an entire bar full of rowdy bikers and one of the first moves he does is the first move demonstrated here (particularly the part about snapping the bat in half, spinning and then striking) it was a pool cue, not a bat.
I have to admit, it looked cool when chuck did it.
Interestingly enough, shortly after the movie came out i watched a camp counselor knock out a kid's front tooth attempting to replicate this exact move.
Yes! I'm pretty sure I saw the same movie. I know that I've definitely seen this in a move somewhere...
Chuck Norris was a showman in Hollywood. As a martial artist I have to respect him, he's a black belt in BJJ under Rigan Machado. But I agree, 99% of Chuck Norris stunt highlights make me chuckle
Nick Paul
What? AFAIK he learned Karate and Tang Soo Do and Tea Kwon Do and later was a treinee of Bruce Lee (Jeet Kune Do). From where did you got the information that he learned Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu?
Nick Paul Chuck Norris and BJJ? Never heard that ever.
Duke49th Chuck Norris holds a black belt in BJJ from Machado
All I could picture when he was demonstrating the second technique was Solid Snake being discovered with the infamous exclamation sound, and doing this exact technique.
Lol nice
I have actually used the second technique quite successfully, not with a knife but with an anvil.
Hey coach
First I need to thank you!
Your videos helped me so much in my game I own you a lot!
Iv been doing bjj religiously for around a year, 5 times a week. I bought mats and rolls with friends every time I can
I had to go back to my hometown for job, a village in the deep country.
There’s absolutely no bjj for hundred miles around.
I joined a judo club a few months ago to keep active and improve my throws.
After a while some asked me to roll to see bjj, they all loved it. I went through the whole school even black belts with no much difficulty they barely knew anything I showed them basics as we rolled. Now we roll after every class some people even asked me for privates. I really enjoy sharing my passion with them.
Yesterday the club owner asked me instead of paying fees to teach a few times a week.
I’m a bit scared it’s such a responsibility could you give me advices please
Thanks again for your videos you do a lot for the jiu jitsu community.
Oss
I hate it when the channel owner does not respond to compliments.. and even more when it comes to serious comments.
How did it go pal?
I too would like to know.
Does the Ninja knife have to be black in order to work properly?
+Durkie52 Yes.
and you have to be a Ninja first.
+Durkie52 Otherwise it won't fall nicely over your foot
+Durkie52 yes it does. otherwise your opponent will see it :D
+Durkie52 Does it have to be sharp?
There's a pressure point in the left shoulder called "Baseball 7" and another in the right bicep called "Pitcher 9", you could easily focus your chi and shout a kiai at them, causing the attacker's arms to go numb and eventually fall off, but only if in mid-swing. If he's not in mid-swing with a wooden bat, it won't work (since aluminum is unnatural and blocks chi flow where the natural wood acts like a chi conductor(like electrical conductor, not train)). It also won't work if he is biting his tongue, or if he doesn't believe in chi, or if he's a person on Earth.
Chuck Norris says to just grab the bat and use it as a toothpick,and the guy will take off running. problem solved.
Fun Fact: a buddy of mine actually used the first technique once in south america without ever learning it in a dojo! Although the bat was driftwood, it broke over his arm, he grabbed it and spun into the guy's head, at which point his local friend burst out of his hut with a machete ACTUALLY ending the confrontation as being hit with driftwood doesn't phase grownups....
I never wanted to be a ninja. I wanted to be... a lumberjack!!!
Im a lumberjack and its okay
+wayne morris I want to be a millionaire
+BIG RON Not if I am a Billionaire!
+Durkie52 But i'm a Trillionaire! #REKT
+wayne morris With my best girly by my side...
The second one is completely wrong. If a sentry aims at you you should hide in a cardboard box, cqc them and fulton them to the mother base
Kanína_Zając then get a s++ soldier sniped by a bikini wearing mute
Lol you should make a satire martial arts channel
Check out Enterthedojoshow. It's hilarious.
@ELIZABETH: love some of the Master Ken vids especially "the karate hottie". yes hilarious. Some r kinda dumb though. can u tell me some other good ones from enterthedojoshow?
2:16 "I'm a ninja" 😂💀
If he is a ninja, how come I can see him. I must be a ninja master then!
So...after he breaks my arm with the bat i'm supposed to howl in pain, then grab the bat got it.
That's right, break one arm blocking the bat then break your other arm trying to break the bat.
leo i just imagend it, that has to be in a comedy movie somwhere XD
Don't forget to take PCP first.
Tony Magnusson chill out man.
Nope your wrong. The howling in pain is optional. This mkve is best done when you're drunk and high on some bath salts. That way not only do you not feel the pain...but you'll also try to eat the bat too.
hahahahahahaahah! that looked like a perfect way to break both your arms xD
fuck.. i broke my arm and stabbed my foot
Haha! I was thinking the same thing.
And got shot....
EnduringArts
pfft not our fault you guys can't be real ninjas likes us, next you'll tell me you can't even walk on water or cut bullets in half.
1:32 what would have happened if he didn't let go? ;o
What are you talking about....WANTED to be a Ninja? I ALWAYS want to be a Ninja!
This is very humorous. The ninja on a mission expression still has me chuckling.
Its actually refreshing that more and more people today call BS on martial arts, specifically the ones that are classroom friendly only.
I like this guys humor on this :-) However I remember a time, and still have spoke to some people who would believe this shit, so we think this videos funny, however this mans teaching those kids who watched too much bruce lee.
jason hounsell I mean Bruce Lee was to some extent legit. I'd rather say too much Jackie Chan. Cool guy with a lot of dedication, but the 'martial arts' in his movie are bs.
Only a real ninja could perform the last technique!
In any scenario I use the same technique which is fool proof.
Being a 4th degree Basscleff of Tabjutsu I engage my diaphragm and release a note that harmonizes with the elemental properties of my attackers weapon, causing it to shatter into a dust like substance in his or her hands.
Note: if you scream a perfect Baritone 2nd E# you can cause your opponents spine segments to disconnect with each other however this is a forbidden technique in Tabjutsu as it can has the same effect on the user.
Oh, of course, why didn't I think of that? blocking the full force of a baseball bat with my wrist. Of course.
Ameri-Do-Te teaches us to ignore the bat & go for the groin.
+timbemann I almost spit out my soup when I read that.
+timbemann Do we then secure the wrist before re-stomping the groin?
Secure the wrist, stomp the groin, break the neck, THEN re-stomp the groin. Hope that helps.
+timbemann A killface would solve this easy. And re-stomp the groin, if any left.
+bulletvivace My mistake I assumed a proper Killface was a given. After all, having a good kill face is like walking around with a loaded gun in your pocket. Except..., it's not in your pocket, it's in your face. That's what happens when you assume, you make an ass out of you and Ume, whoever Ume is.
I would block it with my head, and just keep walking.....
Great idea...& what would you do when you woke up.
Thanks a lot for giving away all my secrets!
How can he say that with a straight face and not burst laughing. This is ridiculous
When the enemy sees you trying to pull off this knife trick, perhaps they will die laughing, so there you go, mission accomplished!
1.)"At this point, having successfully shattered every fukn bone in my arm!"😂
2.)That is correct, you ARE NOT a Ninja! 😂
Baseball Bat Defense:
1. You're going to break your forearm
2. You're going to break your other forearm
3. Your attacker will laugh at you as he beats you to death
Rifle Defense:
1. Yes, throw away a perfectly good weapon and rely on a half-assed trickshot to save your life because that's the key to survival.
I had no idea there were people actually teaching stuff this stupid lol. Thanks for bringing it to my attention and highlighting just how stupid these "techniques" are. You gained yourself a new subscriber, my friend!
This is great, and I happen to have a ninja mission next Tuesday, so I'll be sure to employee these new skills.
i catch the attackers bat with my forehead, is this ok too? or bad technique?
Bad what you want to do is catch it with your nose
bad becuz you're going to break the baseball bat in half but u dont have the other piece in your hand to swing with. now if you were to catch the baseball bat with your mouth, nose hole, or your eyelids, then good technique.
thanks, i feel so dumb now
+joker28666 Groin also works pretty well, especially when combined with the thrust of freedom.
Sounds like some Walking Dead shit....
Idk if I'm doing it wrong, but I did the first one and shattered my forearm. Any advise
I have a shit ton of years fighting on the streets and training MMA I'm 6'2" and weigh a pretty solid 230lbs and I was attacked with a baseball bat once you want to know what happened??? I got a cracked skull, broken jaw lost 3 teeth and a broken wrist with nerve damage in my wrist... You know what you call my story its called reality guys, I'm sorry but if a dude has a bat he also has what's called a really good god damn upper hand. And I know for a fact I could whoop 99% of the ninjas in the comments here and if I got my ass beat by a dude with a bat most of you out there also have no chance in hell, even with all your ninja classes.
damn dude an I got attacked by two metal bats an 6 dudes an came out looking like E.T
Mike Clark Yeah the guys that got me were from a local inland empire gang from my neighborhood there was 4 of them they attacked me because I use to live in a neighborhood that's pretty much all Mexican and I'm one of the very few gringos that used lived there so my white skin and attitude made me a target but it wasn't the first time my skin color and attitude got me in trouble LOL!!!
The big question is, did you or did you not use this defensive technique?
Defensive technique? This happened on the street not in a dojo, I was talking to someone I thought was a friend at the time and then with no warning I was blindsided by a baseball bat to the side of my face, no time for "defensive technique" the only thing I had time for was repentance if you know what I mean.
1TonTaco
Hey, I was just kidding around. I'm sorry that you were injured unjustly. As I've been learning over the last, oh, decade - sometimes life just sucks ass. Perhaps that's most of the time.
Ok. So I stabbed my foot. Then I roll the knife into my other foot.
I throw my toes to the armed man's mouth. The pieces of my foot chokes him, and he died. That's KILL LIKE A NINJA
Funny your a truth ninja
OK, so step 1: make sure you have good health cover and life insurance.
Step 2....
The first technique is terrific if you are the Terminator.
The second technique is marvelous if you are Magneto.
Both of them are simple if you are Chuck Norris.
1:33 " let go." lol
xD
I use these techniques all the time, dont know why u diss them so hard. sometimes I try to block the bat with my face, specially the nose!
i have no experience in martial arts and even I can tell how ridiculous these techniques are... funny video tho
First technique was in Silent Rage with Chuck Norris, but with cue stick. Entertaining
pretty sure I would have a broken wrist after the first attack and I would brake my other wrist trying to snap the baseball bat rendering me unable to wipe my own arse.
This guy is completely stupid.block a baseball bat is the worse thing to do.i have a friend and his get his arm break it in the first attack and his have to run to save his life.
espeacily if its a large buff guy
+Crazy Ohio Productions yeah with tattoos on his for arm sayin world series winner
Three more people who do not recognize satire when they see it.
+cnoconoir cheers buddy
we ALL wanted to be a ninja !!!... and still want to
I seriously need a technique to deflect an RPG round back at an attacker. Pls rezpond!
I know one technique where you let the RPG round pass through your left ear and while it is in your ear canal, you point the right ear towards the enemy successfully defending yourself from te RPG round and deflecting it back to your enemies. Works great and it clean your ear too, gives it that nice glaze from all the burnt ear hair from the RPG tail burn. I learned that technique when I was an ex-navy seal, delta force, ninja, gi joe, marine force recon, astronaut in nam. Now I am just a retired walrus living in spain doing mercenary work in exchange for water buffalo meat.
Colton B Good tips bro. I'll have to ask my sifu about this quarter eagle stance. I only know steaming-badger, and raped-ape.
jump, and ride the rocket to your opponent
No, no, no, NO!
You want to grab the rocket; mid-air, and than throw it back at your opponent. Believe me! Works everytime!
Most important thing is to say focused and bend your knees while catching the rocket.
Good luck! Let us know how it worked out!
why dont eat some donuts and fart the rocket to reflect it back
I hope the guy who create this technique doesn’t get attacked with a bat!
You take a full swing from a baseball bat to the forearm, straight like shown in this video, you get a broken forearm. Don't try this in a real fight guys, unless you're really trying to wind up dead.
Go and learn what irony is......
XD.
You do realize that this was a list of the two worst martial arts techniques? These were what not to do demos.
on the other hand if your arm DOESN'T snap, i am pretty sure you got nothing to worry about from the attack, since he most have extreme muscel weakness or something xD
$5 says the Ninja knife technique was Ashida Kim
nice baseball grab :D
wonder what would happen if the attacker had a gun.
like "don't step aside, don't try to get the gun before the shot. just catch the bullet with your teeth and spit it back to kill your enemy"
:_D
***** yeah :_D
i think of him going super sayain before breaking the baseball racket
LMAO! "I recommend starting out with a small bat before moving up to alluminum"
It wasn't the comment so much but, the deadpan air of seriousness he was trying to contain while delivering that line, friggin classic, lost it right there, hilarious
I can think of a worse technique! REDIRECTING BULLETS BY CHANNELLING KI THROUGH YOUR FOREHEAD.
That's at least better than blocking punches with ones face.
Bat technique seems legit....if you are Chuck Norris.
...or RoboCop.
fuck chuck if you know like I know the only one who could have pulled it off , broke chucks nose.
Many viewers are missing the point of this video!
I did at first too, they way he words everything is wrong lol. Read the description!!!
I demobilize his fists with repeated face-thrusts, for then to break his knees with my groin, and finish with a solid head-butt against the tip of his boots, to really fracture his toes
Would have been funny if the knife-trick accidentally worked.
The first guy, they used in this video is in the hospital - but they cut it out and did not upload it :)
2492 ninjas disliked this video
But it’s not about the art, it’s about how good the person is using it ... provided they’re also superman or batman
I have been in martial arts 30 yrs also and those 2 techniques are unheard of to me. That's rediculous man. Even if i were full of chi I would'nt do it. I would end up being full of you know what.
Don't make fun of those that can actually pull this of.
I'm off asking my friends to bring their baseball bats so i can start training.
Oh boy, i really wish to see some people try this out - we should try spreading it, might get some laughs out of the videos.
There will surely be plenty enough people that try this and upload - i mean people actually did the fire-challenge.
Stephan " AWOOIOI!!" Kesting
Maybe with the baseball bat technique, you're wearing a buckler on your arm. People still wear buckers nowadays, right?
Instructions Unclear, my Graphics Card is on fire.
Let go! Lol
If you want to see bad training check out a set of videos by a channel named Bob Caruana. It looks like a group of kids who are training to lose the first fight they get into.
man... thanks for the tip. but you got to watch the videos about bob's main weapon: his singing.
I'm heading there right now wish me luck :)
Wrap your ribs this will protect them from splitting open with laughter. Use caution his powers are too much for the average person to follow. He claims to have taught for over 30 years and his most advanced students look so uncoordinated it borders on the pathetic The real shame is the kids who lay for it.
Sorry the name is bobcaruana1956 it's filled with "black belts" who can't lift their legs any higher than the kids the work with. Prepare for comedy enjoyment !
I found it and all I can say is holy crap I cant believe people buy his bullshit HAHAHA!!!
Hes mean to the chinses guy😭😭😂😂😂😚
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Thanks for this! I really needed a good giggle right now!
How about the 'grab-the-blade-with-bare-hand' technique?
Duck and circle in the direction the attack is coming from.😉✌💪👊🙏❤
His sarcasm is awesome ️LMFAO (NOHOMMO) Alan M. Rodriguez
::dead::
Work your way up to aluminum bat, lol
Id like to thank the guy for taking the time in making this funny video because it has made my day