When DIVORCE Happens| Mistakes made, Lessons, Healing, Co-Parenting and Life after Divorce
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- Опубликовано: 1 май 2024
- Divorce is a hard and never the easy option. Many of us wonder what causes separation and where the love that people had for each other goes.
Rose was candid and shared her marriage story and why it had to end. So many lessons to learn on dating and marriage.
#divorce #marriageadvice #lisakusiima
The idea of a flawless marriage or relationship is unrealistic. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Nevertheless, I've learned that solutions exist for every problem. Five years ago, my wife and I faced the brink of divorce due to challenges in our marriage. Fortunately, we managed to reconcile. It was a tough phase, but we made it through.
The wisdom in your words strikes a chord within me, and I genuinely desire that my sentiments align with yours. Despite our separation at present, I cannot conceive of my existence without her; my love for her knows no bounds. I yearn for her return, and I'm committed to doing whatever it takes to achieve reconciliation. We've pursued different avenues, including therapy, in our journey to bridge the gap
Your guidance is valued. I'll immediately seek her out online. Appreciate it. I'm hopeful that implementing this method will also bring me success; I miss her dearly
You definitely should
She is very smart, I love how she responded.
She said a mouthful without stating everything 123
🙏
She was confident enough to know her self worth and see there is beauty and peace in singlehood. My Mom tried to stick in there and almost lost her sanity and life. Kudos to you auntie Rose, you are a great teacher to my kids at church and they enjoy your amaizing voice.
If Rose had gone deeper to give specifics, it would have sounded accusatory, vindictive and bitter. It would have prompted the man to feel the urge to tell his side of the story to clear his name. Or his current partner might open a war to defend her man. It can escalate for no good reason. Let's not forget that real people and real families were affected. It sounds like a story to us but for their families and friends, they are living it. They seem to be in a good place and we can only wish them the best. Their children are growing. Imagine they become men and fathers and find a story where all their parents' linen is out. Whatever Rose shared was enough for me to pick a lesson or two.
Exactly 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Great write up and insights you brought forth. IMO that’s why it may be better to do some shows as podcast not as videos and use alias for names not to be declosed. This could also be the downside of video talk shows, but I feel I’ve learnt a lot from them as well🥰
Too much wisdom is killing you
@@renembongn.5877 I can see where you are coming from but real life stories only become real life when you can atleast put a name or face to it. So, it is a slippery slope most especially when you have to tell your story that involves other people who may not want to tell theirs.🤔
True🙏🏽🙏🏽
Rose I applause you for the courage to move on. The future is, indeed restoration will definitely happen.
I remember her in high school, she had such a beautiful singing voice. A very pleasant person, sorry for all you have gone through dear Rose. It is true, time does not heal all wounds, only God can mend you and restore you. God Bless You.
Only God🙏🏽🙏🏽
She's a cultured lady. God bless the people who raised her
Agreed 👍 100% there was a beautiful past including precious children in the picture even if stuff happened that led to this.
Many times women find themselves in a tight space to either give more attention to the husband or kids. Men tend to be somehow selfish by not realizing that when babies come, they naturally need more attention and the woman gives her whole to raise these babies. Men are mostly less emotional with parenting as they focus more on sponsorship. If we check our backgrounds, we will see that even our mothers and grandmother's struggle with negative issues in their marriages as they raised us. Men want both worlds" single life and marriage life" hence causing struggles in their marriages. Our parents stayed together for life coz they allowed husbands to experience both worlds while themselves focused on raising us and maintaining a stable home for both clans. Sometimes the thought that when Men get older they will change but it doesn't always worklike that because many will by this stage have more money and opportunities to attract younger girls. So by the time they settle down to focus on their marriages, they are wornout " needing the attention of their wives even more" God bless the women 🙏
@@mayesomhango9232 The table you are shaking has champagne 🍾 🤣. Generally, men are held at such low standards when it comes to relationships and marriage. I feel like women are forever indebted to men, always feeling grateful for being chosen out of the many( I have heard and seen many brides say this on their knees. As in " thank you for not ashaming me, thank you for choosing me, etc) Never seen a groom thank his wife for accepting him and giving him honour) May be it is by design since biologically men do not necessarily have "biological clocks" and a man can have as many children as the women he sleeps with 😂
Oyo mwaanawange......I love and am proud of her!!!!!!!!
Lisa was really good at asking real indepth questions..but it did feel like the person being interviewed was not very comfortable with sharing details of her story. A more indepth conversation would have been really awesome and brought more healing to hundreds. The key words that were said often were "things happened" life happened" the journey". On the otherhand; its not easy reliving a tough abd painful period of your life; so kudos to Rose for what she was able to share and give of herself. Prayers to all couples going through a tough time. May God be their guide.
Munange it can get ugly and we have to protect our children
Plus protect the other person as well.
@@rosekikule2378 Exactly. And the Internet never forgets.
Unless you have walked through this journey, being bitchy and pouring the ugly to the public does not heal. Rose was being so kind. A one on one if anyone wants the details should be an option though seeking a professional counsel should be the go to.
Secondly, Roses's story is hers and her healing. It can not heal someone else.The rest of us can pick lessons from her journey but we need to each work through our own experiences.
You cannot start revealing everything, you protect each other and admit
People are always quick to judge people who divorce, but they've not gone through the experience, and people can't keep impressing the society yet you're hurting.
Thank you Lisa and Rose.
It must be hard indeed
Wowwww just wowww. Preach Rose Preach Preach Preach. This is so powerful. You have given us so much life,Impartation, and killed so many demons of pride and selfishness. You know most times they ask people who are not divorced what does God says about divorce, and they give their answers. But hearing this from someone who is divorced hits differently. I don’t even think I have the moral authority to talk about divorce coz I don’t know. This is where they say experience beats alot of puffed up knowledge. I love how you said Life still has to go on. What has happened has happened, you gotta go move on. Our God is a God of Restoration and his plans don’t stop when your plans stop. He’s still and always on your side. May God bless you so much for sharing your life with us. I wish you the very best of life, love and more love in Jesus’ name. Thank you Lisa.
Amen Amen 🙏🏽 🥳🥳
I so very much appreciate this topic because, unfortunately, I walked through divorce (many years ago) after almost 10 years of marriage. Following the divorce, I lived as a single mom for 10 years. Divorce is so hard for everyone involved, is very painful, and so profoundly disappointing. But, through it all, God remained faithful. The Lord is SO good. I am now remarried for 3 years to a most excellent man, he having become widowed after many years of marriage to his late wife. Together, we have a beautiful blended family and are SO grateful for God’s doing in bringing us together. These things are hard, but God!
These things are hard,but GOD.
Congratulations
Thank you, Lisa, for hosting Rose. Kindly consider hosting a man who has gone through the same experience. Thanks again
Great idea!
We have so much in Common. I am also Rose, I am and Accountant, I have three children. We also separated. I am also born again…. Chei…Let me watch through and see what more we have to share.
Hugs, it is well. May God be with you in this journey ❤
Thanks a lot for having the wisdom not to turn the kids against their dad, God bless you ma'am
Thanks for watching
So emotional but the fact that she knows God all will be well 🙏🏼 Rose please hang in there and may the good lord see you through 🙏🏼
Amen
Loved this. You have so much peace around you. There is a lot in store ahead .I can tell you are a great mum too. Thanks Lisa for bringing her.
You have postive vibes 🎉🎉🎉 thrive on more ma Rose.
Thank you Lisa
This is painful to see happening, but I have been through a hard time being married personally. So has my husband. I really tried all the holding on and praying, if you know those church things and advice of pray for your man etc. But when things became very hard and our families had to come in to intervene, I realised that marriage is something we expect women to work at as Ugandans, but men are hardly held accountable. The bible is also used as a weapon eg a wise woman builds her home etc.
There was especially a thing we were struggling with that was my husband's fault but our counselors would ask what I had done to cause him to be at fault, and were sending me ebooks and resources on how to hold the marriage together, but nothing was being told my husband. This has been my biggest struggle. I hope my marriage survives but even if it doesn’t, I hope I support other people that are facing struggles in their homes.
Facts. Men are hardly told to fast and fight for their marriage. They are not held accountable for their emotional absence or anything else. When a marriage breaks down, the ex wife is accused of either being boring in bed or nagging while the new woman is accused of bewitching the man or seducing him and wrecking a home 😂😂😂.
Thank you Rose for sharing and being cordial
Good one.
Thnx for sharing your story and staying respectful.
Thank you lisa for this episode..so helpful...Rose may God intervene in uo situation I can only imagine .thanks for being honest .
Great conversation 👌 alot to learn..glad she still believes in ❤️ wish her all the best! Thankyou Lisa!
Thank you Rose for sharing your story. I love the fact that you were respectful to the father of your children and covered him even though you're now divorced.
Thank you for sharing about this difficult part of life that like you rightly stated, no body ever plans or asks for. Many people are ashamed to talk about divorce in Uganda but you did and for that I truly thank you.
Thank you for reminding us about our ever present help in times of need and the support that family is. I have learned so much from you. May God richly bless and continue to heal and hold you and your children.
🥹🥹🥹🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽👏🏾👏🏾
Amen and Amen 🙏🏽
Thank you Rose for sharing; most importantly for not playing victim ! That’s where we draw healing from. I totally relate.
Thanks for watching
Focusing on how full life is, especially for the children. I love that.
Rose is a wonderful woman. The wedding was beautiful. I am sad to hear the marriage ended
Thanx for sharing.
Men shd be taught about maternal depletion and be supportive.
Men shd be more than supportive during the delivery of children than going out there to pursue careers, manya businesses and I hear building houses.
Men keep away from homes while the mums are drained by maternal roles so by the time you get home the mother is something else after in Ufabda the children 'belong to the man'
And then those hyenas who are always knocking at marriages....fire fire
That's the word. " maternal depletion" It really takes a toll emotionally on a woman most especially in the early years. Now talk of those exclusively breastfeeding moms, juggling the care of older children, their work etc
Learned alot from this video. Thank you Rose for sharing your story with us. Matter of fact, I saw you yesterday at a coffee shop with your boys, it looked as though you were having an intentional check in conversation with your eldest son.
They look lovely and you look so kind.
My observations from a distance.
Haaa you is this one trolling me...😅 yeah was put with my boy. He was oba how.....after that I just left him to be and he warmed up later.
@@rosekikule2378 Nothing some desert can't fix I guess. 😂
Thank you for sharing Rose:)
Exactly what i needed. Thank lisa for hosting incredible people we learn from.
You’re so welcome
Thank you Rose for being real, this has opened our eyes as mothers who invest more time into the children than the relationships. There is a lot of work to be done.
We have to balance indeed
There is alot of work indeed
Kajambo Rose.....so proud of you!
Thank you Rose for opening up and being respectful about your ex husband .May God give you grace to navigate the journey ahead.
Here to learn
Rose, always full of life...go girl...God will surely restore you and yes, you should and will find love again ❤🎉❤
Such a reality.
You ladies are gracious and very beautiful.
God bless you dear, indeed the Lord has restored and will continue to restore as trust in Him.
Wow.....Thank you Rose.K my OG for sharing🙂
Am so sorry this happened to you but so am inspired by your resilience , vulnerability ,self awareness and how you have navigated this season of your life.
My take-away is life is a journey , you need to pace yourself.....
Thanks Lisa for always bringing us incredible people and stories that we learn from 😍
You are so welcome
Thank you Lisa and Rose.👏👏 Great lessons for the marrieds too.
Yes I too learnt a lot!
Wow, I appreciate that Rose is calm and sensible, respect to you. May God bless a certain man with this particular Rose as a wife, i pray you find an amazingly compatible love❤
Thank you very much @LisaKusiima
wow-finding yourself your true identity before you even get into any r.ship/marriage is very crucial 100%. this my biggest take home, thank you for sharing❤🙏
I love you Rose 🌹 you may not remember but you helped when I actually didn’t know what you were going through. You showed me strength sis🥹❤️🫶
Rose thank you for sharing your story and learning points. God bless you😊
Thanks for watching
oh my Rose and Lisa this is Gold i love "try not to loose yourself in your marriage"
So true
Rose is very right, Only and only God can pull you through this tough journey.
Proud of your positive vibes.
So proud of you Rose.
Great conversation. Thanks Rose for sharing your story.
Thanks for listening
Rose is a hero.❤
This was powerful in terms of sharing how we move ahead despite differences
Indeed
Wow.... Rose You used to lead us in worship in the all saints youth camps. You inspired me alot.
Lessons learned 💯. Thank you Rose for sharing
Thanks for watching!
GOD RESTORES, You have to trust that he will restore. Thanks for sharing your story Rose.
He surely does
Thank u Rose for sharing.
Thanks for watching
❤God speed Rose!
Lovely Rose my sister, am with you, no pressure
Amen. God restores....
That's correct, Rose. Time in itself can not heal wounds. One needs to be intentional about the things that need to be changed. If it's anger or bitterness towards someone, work on letting go, and with time, your heart will get lighter
What an encouraging story!
Thank you Rose
Woooow Rose Kikule you have told this story so respectfully showing maturity and Love. Thank you gal
Thanks for watching
Thank you Rose for sharing your story. Thank you Lisa.
Thanks for listening
Proud of you dear Rose. You are a brave young lady. God understand and remains faithful. 🎉Godbless you more...
Thank you Rose for sharing, this is so insightful👌🙏
Glad you got some insights
Amazing child of God. Always full of wisdom.
Thanks Songbird
❤
Am proud of you Rose 🌹 Cyber hug always
Thank you Rose. Many times we base on trivial things to leave our marriages. Rose is here to tell us that we should not. Because as her who has gone through it, she doesn't advise anyone to do it. So if your spouse is not adulterous, is not abusive or doing any other thing that is grave. Then you should stay in your marriage.
Thank you Lisa
You seem to think that leaving marriage is very simple
You are a super woman. You know your worth. God bless you
He cheated……she was in the marrieage alone……..we all want to be wanted……..u guys stop asking for a deep interview read btn the lines, but the person also banging cups in the background is also not going away! Love u Rose❤
The cups Banange 😂😂 we are sorry
😂😂😂😂😂
You r wise
Very Insightful: Don't lose yourself in marriage.
Hello auntie dorcus, Joy here from ldp. Was going thru comments n saw this beautiful familiar rare name, hope ur well
Rose is my Kamwaka.....very lovely lady she was....now listening in
This was lovely.. I enjoyed listening
Thanks for listening
I like the version of psalm 134 she quoted, which one is it
Learned a lot . Watched from Zambia 🇿🇲❤️
Glad to have you
Thank you Rose for reminding us that we are selfish and proud. Marriage is about God because He is the author. May we allow God to search us.
Yess👏🏾👏🏾
Mature conversation.
Kudo Rose for spreading love rather than hatred.
🥳🥳
Marriage equals work; most take it for a space of happiness and amooth sailing so, when the time comes to do the work, most people are conflicted and, today, with all the voices around us, it is extremely by grace that a marriage holds!
Can you also host a man who has divorced and we hear their perspective?
This is noted
Girl for real u can never be enough for someone who doesn’t want u or put u in high regard. I wish more people knew this & this goes for all relationships including spouse, family & friends. I finally learnt that & I have found my mental wellness has increased 10 fold
It can be really hard
“What is this world without love?” Valid question. Fall in love paka kuwulira bubi😂😂😂 love her❤ I am happy she came out of this and she is doing better. Thank you for this Episode Lisa❤
So true
That part got me smiling ❤❤❤😊
Very true ...well said 😂😂😂
Such a strong and beautiful woman Rose is, thank you Lisa for this kind of content.
You are welcome
You're looking so lovely mummy 😘
Kindly let me what you use on your skin I like the glow🎉
May God comfort you the more
Thanks for sharing your experience, and lessons learned. Our lives are surely in the palms of God, he is the final answer.
Sometimes you "out give" yourself till the cup is empty and so stepping away becomes the next better step, otherwise bitterness from an empty cup can lead to things like people killing their partners, insecurities in oneself which can even become suicidal, etc.
We thank God for the far he's brought you Rose, and for where He is taking you.
Lisa sounds like a lady with a good head on her shoulder. She states that her mental health was important. Why do people ask,'Did you try?" It takes two. No matter how much faith one has, if your partner has checked out, there is nothing the other can do. It's not cultural or godly like to be in an unhealthy marriage. Not good for the children also. I'm glad she had family support. I also pray the boys' father stays present in their lives. Best of luck to Lisa and her kids.
Thank you so much
Only God can do what no one can do🙏🏽🙏🏽
Surely
Ready to take lessons. I like this conversation
🥳🥳
Preach
Rose mother of sons, God bless you my sister in Christ.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thinking 🤔 when the hubby (ex) sees this, he too self-appraise and seek for reconciliation... Hastily bringing in 3rd parties arent a good path to tow in relationships... 3 is a crowd... Well done broken(more than humble) and wise woman. #Rose.... 🎉🎉🎉Take your flowers 🌺🌹. May the LORD be with you and your family in Jesus name. Exodus 33:14.
Wow❤
Awwwwww I love that she still believes in love...
🥹🥹
I have known Rose since primary days at Kampala Parents. She is my friend's younger sister & I was at that beautiful wedding in 2010.
I admire her for how she navigated a very complex situation. She's got a strong support system (family) & she has always been level headed, smart & committed to the Lord.
You can tell from how she spoke here about something that arouses bitterness & anger in most women.
I thank God for my strong support system.My family.Hearing Rose's story.Bitterness is not my potion anymore
Amen
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 restoration, say No to pride, work on yourself and be self aware…my take home 46:13
True
Excellent 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Work on yourself! You could say that again
Rose ❤
It's a lonely journey but there's God who's in Heaven who restores everything
He surely does
30:05 No you did not become boring you were tired and probably suffering postpartum depression … what did he do to help did he get extra help for you or… it is easier for women to shift the blame on themselves but are those husbands helping … as the children grow both should work together to ensure they do not lose each other in the process of child upbringing… are these husbands even aware of what women go through with the child bearing is any one teaching these men how they should handle their wives as they go through that journey of raising should …
It’s tough!
You took the words out of my mouth, having children back to back and raising all these children child birth has a way it takes over. Not only men should be educated I mean all of us Men and Women should be made aware of what's Infront of us. May God help us all
I must say ... Children are a gift in marriage but I have heard that they wife can always shift attention from the spouse to the children.
I would wish to know if her former spouse would also mention the flaws for her to take the personal check...??
She shared in her video her weaknesses
@@LisaKusiimaShe tried to talk about herself for the main part.
She just didn't want to throw the former husband under the bus. He must have been the one who had his eyes all over the shore for other women. A cheat is what he is. Wish you another chance in marriage this time with a REAL MAN girl ❤
Even after separation, it’s important to keep cordial
I think it is also hard to understand and accept a person you love decided to choose someone else.
She is so wise
@@LisaKusiima🙏🏽🙏🏽
You're projecting. Maybe you heal?
Wow God real made her the best version
@twomorayeels once said "There are three types of men as husbands and fathers
The 1sts type defaults all mental and physical responsibilities of both domestic household and parenting to their wife, it is usually specific to house wives men use it as reason but we know to even working women,
The 2nd type of men "helps" with the mental and physical responsibility for household and parenting , but only specific to him getting something in return from his wife as a favour for doing those things, usually physical. If they don't receive this, they complain about having these responsibilities.
The 3rd group they are men who carry their share of mental and physical responsibility for parenting and household because they want to and they find it rewarding . Whatever they are experiencing in their interpersonal romantic physical life with their wives is separate from the way they feel about responsibility for parenting or house hold chores.
Women who glow up in their marriage are married to the third type the rest are married to the first two.