LOVE Q&A 🦋Depression, Break-ups, Asexuality, Situationships
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- Опубликовано: 5 окт 2024
- Answering your love questions- seeing you and hearing your voices was really exciting and heartwarming for me so thank you ☺️
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"It's not that I don't wanna stay
But every time you come too close I move away
I wanna believe in everything that you say
'Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There's things about me you just have to know
Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time
I don't wanna be so shy
Every time that I'm alone I wonder why
Hope that you will wait for me
You'll see that you're the only one for me"
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I think we all needed this video.
For those wanting to bounce around this video here's some time stamps🤗 Much love!
Questions:
Can you change your attachment style while in a relationship?- 0:51
What was it like to be dismissive avoidant?- 3:25
After a break up, the stress of losing a job, and the pandemic, the feeling of guilt makes me wonder how to stop from hurting more?- 8:05
1. How do we find love with social anxiety?
2. How do you know when you love yourself enough to love someone else)? - 16:52
How do you show love to friends who are struggling (mentally/emotionally) and needs space?- 20:11
Advice for asexuals wanting to date in a world where it's not widely accepted/ people feel sorry for or lied to?- 27:12
What to do when you're in a relationship but not a "relationship"? He's scared of commitment and we don't get into it because there's no definition. How do I move forward?- 34:40
What to do when you have feelings for someone but they block you out to deal with mental health issues?- 38:19
Advice for starting a difficult convo with your partner?- 42:00
I’m so glad asexuality is coming into light or slowly getting more representation
Same!!!!
definitely!! as an ace myself, it's really refreshing to see and hear
It needs (and deserves) so so much more !
Same I really appreciate this video
I’m ace and I love the representation!!!!
I got a lot of questions on ghosting - we're doing an entirely separate video for that ;-) be on the lookout for the call-out! ❤️
You prob get this a lot but I WOULD LOVE IF YOU HAD A PODCAST!!! I can listen to you talk all day and I love how honest and raw your Q&As are!!!
Yesss!! Podcast plz!
thanks Sam!! one day!
I cried over that question as well, because I am the one who’s self isolating, but the thing is I DONT want the space from my friends. They notice that I’m isolating and they think they’re helping by staying away and giving me space. I’ve learned to ask them to check on me more in spite of my silence. Some are better about it than others. But at the end of the day I’m usually alone when I “need” it most.
You are deeply loved, Danasia
I cried, too! As Amy said, you are so loved and cherished. There is no one on this Earth like you. I think it's wonderful that you know what you need and you can express that to your friends. That alone is a HUGE accomplishment that you should feel proud of.
I resonnate SO MUCH with that Danasia, and I think the fact that you managed to ask them to check on you, and that you opened up to them about that is SO admirable, you're kinda my hero for that.
I felt that one OO
no one has died feeling emotions, only those who have tried escaping it!
Whoa. I watched this video last week and I remembered there was a quote that moved me. I got so frustrated that I didnt write it down and was worried I would never find it again. I wasnt even sure it would be in this video but I looked in the comments to get the gist and YOU WROTE IT AND I AM SO GRATEFUL.
I wish I could tell the person who talked about their breakup and losing their job during the pandemic that they’re grieving and that’s completely normal and perfectly okay. I went through something similar and the feelings had to be felt to the full extent. It will hurt for a long time and they deserve to feel better. They deserve to get help from a professional therapist and I hope they’re supported by the people around them❤️
I support this message!
seeing 'asexuality' in a video title always makes me nervous that we're going to be misrepresented, but you treated the subject with a lot of respect and you really did your research! thank you 💜
Aw phew! This makes me happy to hear :]
To the person who asked a question about the situationship: I've been caught in two of these type of relationships. I agree with Amy - I was afraid that I would never connect with someone else on the same level or love that way again. At the end of the day, I had to be honest with myself in that I wasn't getting the reciprocation that I needed and deserved. If the other person cannot be brave enough to love you fully, or are not ready to receive the love you have to offer in the fullest sense, then it is best to walk away. I found strength and walked away from both of those situations eventually and shortly after the second one, I met the love of my life. We can't let that mentality of "I'm never going to find something this good" keep us from finding what is good and meant for us. Thanks for this segment, Amy. Love to you and everyone who sent in questions
😊As an asexual, I can confirm that mixed sexuality relationships are possible. I made sure my partner knew about it, but also I was willing to take it slow.
Communication is SO key in a relationship where sex may or may not happen depending on what kind of situation you're in. If someone isn't willing to try to understand you, they're not for you. And vice versa. Let them know what you might be willing to try too.
Having close friends, I think, can be just as fulfilling as well.
Dating is definitely a struggle in today's world, but luckily more people are informed, open, and share similar experiences.
when it got to the breakup question, i think it’s worth mentioning that not all actions from another person is a direct reflection of who you are. many times, the hurtful words/actions from another is a projection of their own unattended past trauma. as you mentioned, accountability is so important when discerning what has stemmed from you and what was the result of the other person’s action which has been absorbed into your space. and with self-discernment and seeing things for how they truly are objectively, well.. that’s a whole other daily practice lol and worth it towards your path of growth! much love & great content amy 🤍
i'm studying psychology and did 2 seminars on attachment theory. the probably only way you can truly become securly attached is by getting into a relationship with someone who is securly attached. you CANNOT change your attachment style on your own because it's a system that developed in a relationship (between you and your parents) so you can only "undo" it in a relationship. you do work on your own and your partner helps you with it by holding your emotion, being patient, giving you support. basically what you said anyway, amy, just wanted to support it with the research i learned about at uni.
😨 wait really?
@@luvasaur yeh´, as far as i know...
Kia ora Amy! Please would you mind putting up CC closed captions? I thought your videos usually had them but not this one? From a grateful deaf girl who wants to be part of the conversation x
Kia ora! I don't often see people use te reo maori so casually on the internet so this comment brought a smile to my face :) much aroha
Kia Ora friends!! ❤️
I just googled it but couldn’t figure it out! I thought they were automatic? 😣 could someone help me out?
i just tried turning them on and they showed up for me, maybe try again now?
Ah great content. I love hearing people talk about real stuff
amy I've been here since your college days,
I follow similar channels but yours has been growing in a different way,
which keeps me here for more, please keeping making videos like this we need this, so thank you for your genuine content
thank you so much julissa! I appreciate you
I started using "The story I'm telling myself is..." across all my relationships and am loving it!!! It validates what I'm feeling but also does not make it definitive.
These are speaking points and terms that stood out to me:
So we are not a wound up tight, contracted individual.
Internal fragmentation.
Integration of true self.
Self compassion.
=) thanks for supporting Cari!
why is everyone's voice so soothing and pretty? damn
44 mins of big sis advice ๑ ♡〃✦ ♡ ✧
As a fellow 24 year old asexual I totally get what you are feeling, if you want a pep talk ACE by Angela Chen is a great book for that, it helped me shift my views of relationships in general and see that they are not restricted to what we were socialized to perceive as the norm..
Amy you're literally a gift. I bet your words heal so many of us
Amy, your channel has given me to tools to begin my self- healing. thank you for being you!
proud of you! you had all the tools within you already
Love the point about not putting in toxic positivity for a depressed loved one. I didn't know this, or the impact something like this would have on a person who is depressed - so thank you! I learned something new!!
We NEED a podcast from you so badly! It would be amazing!
Love this and love you. I think we are on adjacent paths of healing. I'm in recovery from childhood abuse, partner abuse, C-PTSD, addiction, eating disorders and chronic self neglect. I met my therapist 2 days after I made a serious attempt on my life post trauma 3 years ago, and she introduced me to person centred psychotherapy, art therapy and psychospirituality. I now get to work with vulnerable women such as myself, and next year I'm training as a person centred therapist. I can imagine you being an amazing therapist and/or empowering vulnerable women in the context of trauma
Hello Amy!!!💕💕
Really appreciate you for hearing us out.
"The number one foundation for a healthy relationship is commitment. What part of you says that you are deserving of a love that is noncommittal? What is a part of you that says that this is the only connection you may experience at this level? I would hope that on that list [of your dream relationship] is commitment. I hope that is it: Commitment, investment, emotional vulnerability, stability… we are only going to attract those as wounded as us." - Amy Lee
This was 44 minutes of pure wisdom, THANK YOU so much amy - I tend to be a bit of a cynical person, and whenever I watch you, it gives me a big shot of faith in humanity again, so thank you :)
Used to be a cynical person too - it was no way of truly living! Sending so much love
Love this type of content
Ahhh!!! I woke up feeling terrible today 😭 every time that happens I go to Amy’s channel to listen to my big sister AND AHHH I GET A NEW 44 MIN TODAY 🥰 AND I AM SO HAPPY
felt so much pain for that girl who's bf broke up w her in January and got married in August :(
Thank you for making this video Amy.
Thank you for your vulnerability Virginia... You are on the right path to healing :-) Keep going, my kween!
I’m honestly so grateful for your channel. It really feels like I have a knowledgable friend who I can lean on (which I have a hard time doing irl) it really helps me in my healing journey. I’m honestly so thankful for you and hope you’re doing well 🧚✨
that part of the video about the friend who's isolating made me really emotional too, because I have a friend that's going through that right now, and because until the beginning of this year I was this friend. I want to help my friend because I know what she's going through, but a lot of times I feel lost about what I should do (because I know she wants and needs space). after watching this I decided I'm going to text her saying how much she means to me.
also, I'm really happy seeing someone with a big following like you talking about asexuality.
I’m so emotional watching this. I love your insight.
Love your channel! Thanks for sharing such valuable content xo
Amy blew my mind completely in this video. Wow. Hearing so much facts. Thank you Amy 😭
I listen to you while working as if your video was a podcast💛 I learn a lot even if the topics are complicated sometimes but i love the little community you've created, no fake 'good vibes' or toxic positivity, totally the opposite and you guide us to search the solution and face the problems, for ourselves and to help our lovely ones… I'm really thankful, Amy
edit!! thanks to talk about asexuality, I've been dealing with that topic also since my teen years and until this quarantine when i had more time to think about it in a natural way instead of some kind of catastrophe.
amy you are one of my favorite youtubers i always try to support u and every single way i love seeing your journey and learning more! your why i hate myself video really moved me
thank you sasha! this comment (and your support) is deeply appreciated, you have no idea
This felt like having a conversation with a big sister, thank you for sharing your experiences and emotional capacity with us!!
i loved hearing everyone's voice for the questions. that made it very personal and intimate.
oooo this convo reminds me of how stepping back from social media is seen as a sign to reach out. like i guess i get that but i also think our dependence on social media to stay connected so constantly is really superficial. its taken quarantine for me to realise i love the conversations that end, the chats that dont run on lol hope im not evil for that haha
Hi Amy i just wanna tell you that how beautiful you are and how amazing you are. Dont let anything break you and I love you!!!
Oh my ! You pronounce my name ahah ! I will definetely keep you posted on my adventures as a ACE ! Im glad to see more people get educated about it and get more representation . Love you Amy so much for your kind words xx
This was one of your most transformative videos for me, especially in healing from my past breakup. Thank you Amy
I love your growth and how you’re sharing these tips you’ve learned to help us grow too 😌
hehe i love this kind of content, thank u 🦋u break everything down so well!
Ugh I always always love getting ready for the day with you Amy💖
Love AMwithAmy series 💙 thank you Amy.
I'm happy I found your channel, it's soothing and helpful 😌
get real about how you feel so you can truly heal 👏🏻
Thank you, Amy!🌹
Bravo, Amy! You've put out such amazing, loving energy and advice about such important issues
Loved and needed this on my self care rest day! Girl you are so raw and real!
ngl you make me want to dye my hair the exact color of yours
- honeypot films
do it bro xD
44 minutes wow we’re blessed.
One of the last ones happened to me too 💔 I really tried to be supportive and reach out but they ghosted me. It was really painful, but that was 3 years ago and I’ve made peace with it. Today, I made the decision to stop worrying about confessing to my close friend that I like them and I no longer feel the dread I’ve been feeling about it now that I have decided to honor my feelings and am working to stop tying my self worth to others ❤️
You are amazing, and doing big things for people around you. So incredibly happy that you exist to allow people like myself to learn about myself and others. Endless love for you girl
also (and I don't mean this to be rude) I would have appreciated a content warning when s*xual assault was mentioned, there totally might have been one that I missed and I apologize if thats the case. I don't know to what extent the individual shared, however, once I heard those words I simply had to skip for my own well being and head space
I LOVE your videos!!!! They always lift up my days and I learn a lot on how to handle my emotions through your perspective. Thanks for making them Amy 💗.
That question about the breakup really hit home. I also had a breakup at the beginning of the pandemic and I still feel so guilty and constantly think about the things I could've done differently. I really want to start therapy, I've tried mediation and journaling but it only helps my healing temporarily. Anyways, great video!
We all make mistakes, but personally it helps me to think about how the person didn’t value me despite those mistakes. Mistakes are normal and we should find someone who is empathetic and helps us do better as well as focuses on our positive aspects. It’s so hard to know why someone actually left us, sometimes they/we don’t really know to begin with why they broke up with us or us with them.it might not even have to do with any particular mistakes, but fear, ect.
@@teresareviewsitall3613 thank you!! That is a really helpful way to look at it
Amy you are so inspiring, watching you always makes me want to mirror your vibrance and be my authentic self. Thank you for sharing space in this video!
thank you amy❤️sending love from singapore!! xx
I seriously love u so much Amy 💛 thank u for being such a light and imploring is to dive deeper into ourselves 🦋✨
Very much loved this video especially the question about loving yourself before loving someone else
So agree. It is ok to be not "okay" as you think right now.
Can you give a list of recommended books to read?
Omg yes please!!
She has a video on this. You can check that out💕
Holy shit amy this video gave me the tingles bc i have been going through self realization and deprogramming and unlearning. We are in the matrix Girl !!!
I really needed this today (: thank you!
This video came at the perfect time - thank you!
Thank you for this wonderful video!!! You're a lovely human bean :)
You are my favorite youtuber heart 💜 Thank you so much for all the help, advice, and positivity and realness you give.
I absolutely love this. This deeply helped me and I know it will help others as well (especially during these times). Love you a bunch, Amy! Thanks this amazing video
i've watch this all the way through. thank you for being so honest and yourself!!
I always look forward to your videos ❤️❤️
Ohh dear Amy! I just want to give you a hug! 🤗💖Thank you for this episode! Your words mean a lot to me! I am so grateful to you and I guess I am not alone with this feeling... ✨💝
This was an awesome Q&A. Unexpectedly learned more than what I thought I would. Thank you!
I love you thank you so much for sharing!! Your opinions and transparency are super refreshing
My friend is also struggling mentally right now. She's going through exactly the same thing I went through 2 years ago, but I don't know how to help her, because the only thing that helped me was me. But idk how I got to that stage of helping myself...
22:22 just keeping this as a note so I can rewatch this part later :)
I love love loved your explanation of the matrix it was so interesting and spot on, I always recommend you to my friends , much love from Auckland,New Zealand x
When I was going through a time of isolation, I always appreciated the messages my friend sent simply asking how I’m doing, or asking if everything is okay bc she noticed I haven’t been talking. That really made me smile for a bit and so yea even if the person u have mind do not respond to ur message, like what amy said, do it anyways 💕
Amy I love this format I hope you continue it
I think bojack horseman did a good job of representing an asexual character because they dont get represented enough :)
Woah I feel like the universe is speaking to me 😊
aww i love this q&a format :,)
aaahhh Amy!!! i seriously could just listen to you talk for hours! would you be able to do a video on online dating/LDRs especially during this crazy time?
ahhh I personally have no experience or knowledge with LDRs ;( I would hate to just talk out of googled research so I think I won't be able to do this one for ya! But thakn you for the request either way
@@amy_lee no worries Amy! you do have a point. thank you so much for replying though! we need more honest people like you on this platform ❤️
You gave me life with this video, thank you
Get real about you feel so you can truly heal 👏🏾 love that and it even rhymes 😂
Oooo what a cool format!!! ✨
what kind of foundation do you wear? your skin looks amazing!! love the video
The visual at 11:40 👏👏👍🙌 yesss
I really needed this. Thank you.
We love your vids Amy! 💗
Thank you so much Amy I love that video!!!!!
I love you Amy!! ❤️
44 minutes but it's like 10 minutes in my mind
I will protec this video forever 💛
VERY MUCH NEEDED ILY
You're backkk❤❤❤
Missed your videos!🥺💕